Wow - that was completely all over the place. And hilarious. I loved that! Well done :) Report Review
This is awesome so far! I really like how your writing flows; great job! Report Review
Hi, sorry to be annoying . but I noticed that there wasn't any credit in your summary for your banner . which I happen to have made . so if you could please credit Protestor @ TDA? Report Review
Alright, you most definetly have to write more. That's all there is to it. I loved it!Author's Response: I am writing more, believe me, I am :) I want to write all the time, I find myself at work and school just thinking of what to write next. The bad thing is that I have so little time :( But, hey, that's why we get sick, right? ;P
Thank you so much for reviewing, I really appreciate it :) Report Review
I'm really enjoying this! And I know you keep refering to it as slow moving and 'boring', and I did as well in the first chapter, but I think that all this background information is necessary. You manage to work it in to the story in a way that makes it not boring at all, but rather just a natural plot builder. It's better this way - I always get confused when an author drops you right in the middle of their plot. Great job!! :)Author's Response: Aww, thank you :) I really like writing, and reading, stuff that moves fast, but just for this story I want to include background information and give it a proper start. I'm planning to make this story really long... ;) But I guess that's why I'm self-conscious about it...
Thank you so much again for reviewing :) Haha, yeah, I'm taking it slow for those of us who are not good at catching on :P Some authors can really pull it off, although with others it's just a turn-off :P
Thanks, for the third time Report Review
I really liked the last sentence of this chapter - it just summed it all up perfectly; it really describes Snape's character too. It's always the vibe you get when you read a Snape fic - you just managed to put it in to words! Again, great job :) I'm really enjoying this.Author's Response: Thank you so much Report Review
FINALLY I have found a Snape/Lily story that's not a one-shot, and is actually well written. I can agree that this chapter was slightly slow moving, but at least I can tell you are literate! Which, believe me, after searching for some time, I can tell you a lot of authors on this site are not.Author's Response: *whoop* i love reviews :D
thank you so much for the kind words; im so happy you like it :) you really made my december XD
thanks again! Report Review
That was ... wow. Magnificently done! I love Snape, and I find it hard to find an author who can write him, and keep him in character while still showing a slightly 'softer' side to him. This was amazing! :)Author's Response: Thank you very much! ^_^ Report Review
I think it's really well done so far :) I liked it a lot, actually! 9/10.Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! Report Review
That was funny - I liked that !! :) Great job.Author's Response: thank you! :D Report Review
That was really well done :) I liked it. I'm not sure how to describe your style of writing, but everything seemed to flow together nicely. And that's always good *laughs*
Thumbs up, great work
-Protestor from the forums!Author's Response:
Aww, thank you. =)
-Carrie Report Review
It's interesting to read a story about a sibling of Lucius. I don't think I've ever seen one written before. Maybe I've just missed them all? *laughs* Anyways, point is, I like it. A lot, actually. And the fact that you took the time to have a beta go over it is massively impressive, because now I don't have to nit-pick about spelling and grammar; that's exciting. Ha.
Great job :) I like this.
-Protestor from the forums.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Yeah, I'm pretty sure that there aren't many stories about a sibling of Lucius, but hey, why not try something new :] Thanks again! Report Review
Wow - you know I was actually worried about reading this when I saw your mondo paragraphs *laughs*. But it was actually good! I liked this! Deffinetly an interesting story, how'd you think of this? I like your writing style :) Great work!!
-Protestor from the forumsAuthor's Response: Hah, I apologize for the 'mondo' paragraphs. They always look so small and innocent when I write in a size six font on Word. But thanks so much! I just wanted to explore a non-OC that we didn't know too much about and get inside their mind and find out what they were like. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Er, I just thought I'd let you know that, generally speaking, a prologue is seperated from the first chapter. Seeing as it's not really long enough to do that, you should probably just not call it a prologue at all and just put it in italics :) It would probably make more sense that way. Other than that, it was actually pretty well done! Great job, keep it up.
-Protestor from the forums!Author's Response: Thank you for the kind review.
In answer to your concern, I had this posted on ff.net where there is no limit to how short a chapter can be. At the time, what I did seemed like the best option but I really like what you suggested. I might just do that. Thanks! Report Review
This is really well done so far, and I like how the chapters are mostly longer than 1500 words - it allows the reader to get in to the story more! :) I'll be back to finish reading later!
-(Protestor from the forums ... forgot to mention that with last post)Author's Response: Hiya Protestor! I'm glad you like the chapters and their lengths and hope you'll be back soon! Thanks so much for reviewing! *hugs* Report Review
It's quite often you see an author who writes about the marauders first year and their arrival at Hogwarts, etc ... and they completely fail to put themselves in to it and it's like reading the first Harry Potter all over again. You didn't do that though - this was well done :) I liked it!Author's Response: *Blushes* Awww, that was really nice to say! I'm really glad you liked it! Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
The first little bit is a tad awkwardly worded, but all in all, I'm intrigued!
- Protestor, from the forums.Author's Response: glad you like Report Review
I noticed in your summary that you said you wanted a banner, so I thought I'd take the liberty and make you one. Hope you like it, if you don't, no worries :) If you do use it though, could you credit it to "Protestor @ TDA" please?
Thanks so much!
Hope you like it!Author's Response: Thank you but when I tried the banner it didn't work. Thanks anyway. Report Review
(Protestor from the forums!)
Another good chapter, but I just have one question: why would Lucius use his wand to comb his hair, and not clue in that he could possibly open his thermos using his wand? *laughs*
Great job *thumbs up* :)Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked the chapter. Good question. Lucius didn't think of that because he was too concerned about his hair. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
(Protestor from the forums!)
Well, apparently his name isn't "Draco Malfoy", because the dinner didn't work :P. Great job so far though :) It's an interesting story line.
*thumbs up*Author's Response: Thanks! Report Review
Who knew that Draco could be kinda cute ... in the way he acts. *laughs* He must actually like her, or he really wants to get laid.
:) Good chapter.Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Hey - I'll make a banner for you, if you want me too :) Report Review
"Malfoy The one..." -- you forgot the period between 'Malfoy' and 'The'.
That's all I noticed though! Good first chapter -- deffinetly pulls the reader in instantly, if you know what I'm saying ;). All in all, well done. I don't think I've really read anything from the perspective of Pansy before, so this is pretty interesting for me.
Well done!!Author's Response: Thanks! I really enjoy writing Pansy as having a real personality. :) Report Review
**(Protestor from the forums!)**
The first paragraph is a little flowery (really wordy), so I'll admit I was a little aprehensive about finishing the story. But the only problem I spotted was with that first paragraph. This story was ... beautiful. I absolutely LOVE the way you portrayed Ginny. She was grieving but it wasn't unbearably angsty to the point that it made you want to slit your wrists *laughs*. I'm not sure how to describe it, but you worded your piece to make Ginny's grief ... universal. That's the only way I can describe it. And the poem is wonderful. Great choice :)
Fantastic job!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I had my fears for Ginny, because I've never really lost someone that dear to me, but I did my best to describe it. Thanks! 'Universal' is quite a compliment. I'm so glad you liked this. Thanks for the review! Report Review
(Protestor from the forums!)
The last few sentences ... funny. I loved those. "And she will fancy me". I love how convinced Lucius is in everything that he does. Narcissa just doesn't have any other option. *laughs* This is really good so far. I haven't read a Lucius-based fiction before, so this is new for me. Great job, though! :)Author's Response: Yeah, Lucius is pretty much quite confident about everything he does. But that'll change soon. I'm glad you liked this story! Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
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