Aw! I don't really have much to say except that I really enjoyed this story. I originally clicked because the banner caught my eye, and I had never thought of Patrick Dempsey as a Sirius Black, but the longer I looked at the banner, the more I liked it. I wasn't sure what to expect with this story, but I loved the perspective and I absolutely adored the twist. Beautiful job!Author's Response: Well, of course the banner is amazing, it's Alohomora! I'm glad you did end up liking the story though! Report Review
I saw this story on the review circle at SAYS so I thought I would come over and leave a review for you! I am thinking maybe I am missing something from what the challenge was, as I have no idea who Cathleen is, or how she fits in, so maybe you could possibly clear that up, or give a little synopsis of what the challenge was all about, it might help the confusion. Other than that, I did find that story moved quite fast, and there was really no explanation as to why they were there, or why James and Lily suddenly are together. I gather she changed her mind, but once again things moved very fast. Overall it was a good little story, but I really think with some improvements this story could be better than good. Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, Tiffers! And congrats on becoming Head Girl over at SAYS! :D
It was an old challenge that I was set by a friend (Clu) and it was simply to see the Marauders, Lily and a friend stranded on a desert island for a while. The only other requirement was that Lily and James had to be together by the end... Cathleen is just the friend, I don't really know how to explain it in another way than that. I can understand you'd be confused, so I may put something in the A/N.
Yeah, I know the L/J bit went really fast, I keep re-reading this and thinking that. Thank you for pointing it out, I may actually go back and do something about it now, lol.
Thanks for all the ConCrit, I think you're the first person to offer some, so I really appreciate it! :) Report Review
I guess I will be as honest as I can possibly be from the get go here, and tell you quite honestly that I am not a big Lily/Snape fan and I was sort of hesitant about opening this story because I had a strong feeling that I would be put off by this particular pairing. Shock of all shocks for me though when I opened this story and found myself utterly entranced by your words, and even more shocking, this pairing!
He sat patiently, his bare feet lodged deeply into the gritty sand. As it descended down the horizon, the sun painted a brilliant light performance of warm red and pink hues. Waves from the blue ocean lapped softly against the shore, teasing the small versatile creatures that could choose to forge land or sea. Filling his fists with sand and letting it fall slowly like an hour glass, Severus Snape prayed she would come.
I had to copy that excerpt because it totally drew me into this story. You have such a beautiful way with words, that much is evident from this stunning little one shot. What also struck me about this story, is how well Lily and Snape work together as this sort of forbidden pair. Not only that though, you also show in this incredible manner how hard this type of situation would be for her. To love two men, and be put in this position where you love them for different reasons.
What struck out most to me in this one shot, was when Snape and Lily gave into their desires down on the beach, it was just so raw, and I think that is what really attracted me to this story, the raw emotion that just comes through when I read your words. I would definitely love to read more Snape/Lily from you, because I think you are one of the very rare writers who can really pull it off correctly.
Absolutely stunning work!
Author's Response: Oh Tiffers!! I love that you've stopped by to read my story!
It's ok if you're not a Snape/Lily fan. I forgive you :) I'm so happy you decided to open the story though!!
That first paragraph, that's exactly what I wanted the reader to do. A lot of people don't like S/L, there are so many J/L followers.
I think Lily could have been well with Severus. The reason I like writing them is because honestly, I don't think Severus ever could love anyone else. The moment he saw her when they were little, I think he made up his mind then and there- there will be no one else. And when she went with James, i think it absolutely ripped him apart. and she, I think, didn't regret her decision to be with him, but was definitely torn between the two.
*blushes* you say such wonderful things *giggle* Honestly, I think Imprudence is one of my better pieces of work. I'm hoping to surpass it one day. Funny thing though, i wrote it half before DH and half after. The half that was written before DH was written quickly when I was on break from work. I sat down with my notebook between shifts and started writing. I was interrupted a lot during it and I didn't like it. The second half was written on a bumpy car ride coming to and from a restaurant an hour away from my home town. It was weird because I was in the car with my parents, yet I'm writing this emotional piece of work. When I put it on the computer I was like...I think this is pretty good :) Anyway, i hope you think so too. And I guess my point there is...I work better when there are other people around, rather than by myself.
Thanks so much, I hope to hear more from you in the future!! :) Report Review
Wow. I just really don't know how else to start this Bizzy, it has been so long since I even wrote you out a review, and that in itself makes me want to cry. I don't think I need to explain to you how much I truly love this story, but just in case I do, I love this story. Nothing makes me happier than to open up my favorite stories page and see Runaway there at the top with a new chapter. I saw it yesteday and couldn't even help the massive grin that spread over my face. I have been waiting so long to see the return of this, and there it was, than in itself was such a beautiful gift. You know that I have understood all these months how hard it was for you to even attempt to write this chapter, and I am so proud of you for finally writing one! SO PROUD! Mmkay, enough mushiness, and on to the review! ^_^
Even from the beginning of this chapter I was endlessly amused. I started reading and I just couln't help but grin even wider if that is even possible, because even from the very start, this chapter, is so you! I love Ron and Harry fighting as Ron tries to grasp the concept of how to use his sword. Not only that, but you make them come to life, and it is just something I can really imagine happening in one of the books. For somebody who has been dubbed "Worst Harry Potter Fan EVER" you certainly know how to write the characters so that they feel true to the books, while at the same time having their own uniqueness.
"I didn't wave my arms about like a crazy person and fling my sword completely over my head three times, Ron," Harry replied, almost tiredly.
Ron shifted uncomfortably.
"It slipped," he said, shrugging and looking slightly abashed.
That right there is just so classic Bizzy that it amuses me endlessly, and I definitely think considering the rest of this chapter, we really needed that little exchange between them to lighten the mood. Then you bring in Hermione, and it is just perfect, the entire exchange between her and Harry, and Ron's little added comments - perfection, and I have come to expect nothing less from you. I especially love that Harry decides to follow in Evie's suit and learn to forgive without expecting anything, to just let things go, such a beautiful way for things to happen between them. It has always been my biggest regret reading this story, that Harry and Hermione couldn't work through their issues, and of course now that they have, it may just be too late!
"Oh isn't it wonderful! It's like one big happy family again!" Ron's overly dramatic voice cut through the air, and he lifted a hand to wipe an imaginary tear from his cheek. "God bless us...everyone!"
*uses the MSN little eye raising smilie* Erm, Scribbie, were you channeling your own spirit when you wrote that comment as Ron? Because I could totally see us having a little argument and you doing that, you silly goober. Good to see I am not the only one who likes to inject her personality into the story. Then of course I am overjoyed by the fact that Hermione just acts so Hermione-esque when she turns to scold Ron, but of course she is smitten with him so she is also slightly amused! I love that Harry gets all boy like and makes a face as they start kissing. It is just these little touches that make me fall in love with this story more than humanly possible.
Then good gravy, Ginny comes running into the RoR and I know that nothing good is possibly going to happen from this point on, and I should prepare for my heart to be broken *grumbles* oh how right I am! As Ginny is trying to get out the words to explain, I was sitting in my seat with my nose practically touching the screen, almost yelling "FASTER GINNY!" which is in a completely different tone than the phrase we use on MSN to annoy the mouse. Then of course everyone has to be so daft and wasting time as Ginny tries to explain to them that Evie was with Harry. It was all I could do to not reach through my screen and flick the trio right in the noggin for being so slow they could have qualified for the School for Kids Who Can't Understand Good and Other Stuff. (I'm sorry, I watched Zoolander and it's stuck in my head - What is this? A school for ants?).
FINALLY they pull their heads out of the clouds and realize the magnitude of this situation! About damn time! Then Harry has to go and play hero, what else was I supposed to expect, I love him to death, and I know Evie needs him, but that boy thinks only with his heart and never with his mind. I respected his decision, because I knew that no matter what happened, Evie was going to need him more than the others, but when they split up, it broke my heart Bizzy, because I had no idea what you would attempt to do, and they had all just gotten to be friends again and...*collapses in a heap of tears*
*review to be continued in seperate post*Author's Response: Okay, before I even begin to say anything, I need to tell you that your reviews...or...review I guess....super-review? Anyways, they killed me. KILLED ME DEAD. I. Can't. Stop. Laughing. Omg, hands down one of the funniest things you've ever done. You're insane and I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU FOR IT! *GLOMP*
*sniff* Omg, AND you're making me cry. :( I just want you to know that all of your support and understanding these past months has really meant the world to me. I don't think I could have done it without you, whether you were aware of it or not. So thank you tiff. You're my lucky penny too ya know. ^_^
HAHA! So the beginning is me, huh? Damn. I tried to hide the craziness. Must have slipped out. :P I really did have fun writing that part in case you couldn't tell. lol. Ron's my outlet, what can I say? ^_^ And I was VERY happy to get the trio back together. I hated writing them apart. :( I AM NOT A SILLY GOOBER! *giggles* Okay, maybe I am. Deal with it.
KAYLON!!!! *DIES* Sorry, had to get that out. rofl. SCHOOL FOR KIDS WHO CAN'T READ GOOD! *DIES AGAIN* Omg, I seriously cannot breathe. You're friggin hilarious. Only you can randomly put in a Zoolander quote and make it apply to the story. *dies a million times* A MerMAN dad! MERMAN!
Yeah, Harry's brash. But he's Harry! He rushes into things helter skelter. haha. Oh man, I'm talking to you on MSN right now as I write this and you're being funny. Er...where was I? OH! Harry. *has ADD* OMG DONT CRY! YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THE DEVIL! GAH! I love the little "to be continued" thing by the way. Omg you're insane. I love you. Okay, I'm off to respond to the others. TIFFY ROCKS MY SOCKS!
*toddles* Report Review
So, here I am! I decided to do a little snooping and come read some of your work, and instantly I was attracted to this story because of the banner. Just something about that banner draws you in, probably the big eye, and now I know why that is such a big part of the banner *grumbles and kicks at the ground with her shoe* Then I really liked the little overview of the story, it just really seemed to call out to me. Something along the lines of "REEEAADDD ME". You get the picture!
Okay, so on to the actual story! I really liked the beginning, because right away I was wondering who these people were and how exactly they were going to relate to this story. Not to mention I adore the idea of people telling little children stories, it just seems so cute and domestic! Oh, and I especially liked that we didn't know who it was in the beginning, I always feel like I am more connected with a story when I don't know right away who it is about. Like I am connecting with them, and not the name or personality I have been taught to know.
Then we moved onto the next part, the part in the hospital where we find out it is Hermione that the story is about, and I love how you open with every sensation but sight. At first I overlooked it, just because I really liked the unconventional way to describe the sign, but then you revealed why you did it that way. *disgruntled look* I cannot believe she is blind! Poor Harry and Ron too! I was holding onto my breath as Hermione asked if they were okay and Mrs. Weasley hesitated before answering! I was relieved that for now they are still alive, no begging at your feet and weeping - yet. I really liked that last line, I think it really brought it all home, and is just so honest.
Anywho, I really enjoyed this first chapter, and I am most certainly intriqued to see what could possibly happen next. *stocks up various items to throw at Jenn in case things don't quite how she wants them too* I'm warning you now, I have impecable aim! Overall though, a wonderful first chapter, and I am excited to see where things go from here! *skips off to the next chapter*
Great work!Author's Response: Wow, what a gigantic review!! *loves it!
Attracted to this story, were you? I hope you end up pleased with it. It was my second story. (o:
HAHA, now you know why the eye was so important on the banner. *giggles* That's hilarious!
I'm glad you liked the beginning! It was fun to write, and I was hoping that no one would really know who those people are. We'll know eventually. (o: The cute and domestic bit was fun to write because I hardly ever write like that. (o:
Mmm, all the sensations but sight. You thought I was being clever, but alas, my character is blind. Please don't be so disgruntled! It's not so bad!!
Erm... Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing! I think I shall stock up on some shields for if or when you start launching things at me!
Hope to see you again soon! Report Review
Tiffy Spliffy here and accounted for to make a review! *puts on her professional review giving buisness type suit and clears her throat* I hope you are ready for this review Miss Courtney Marie, because I am going to be brutally honest with you, as I always am. *takes a deep breath*
I feel the need to get the legal issues with taken care of first and foremost because I believe it results in a better review. As you have surely heard from some members of the "crew", I have hereby officially disowned you all, the whole bloody lot of you! *kicks Courtney to join Mara, Jessi, and Scribbie* You all! DISOWNED! Honestly, you all sit there and say I am evil, when in fact you are the evil ones, and Courtney, you are the ringleader of them all! This story is concrete proof of that fact! Sure, you warned me with that lovely happy looking label that this was in fact a bit of a sad story, hrmmph! I don't forgive you *shakes head* always breaking my heart, smushing it, stepping on it, every imaginable evil mean thing you can imagine in attempts to make your readers cry. *disgruntled look*
Alright, now that I have laid out the legal aspects of the fact that you have been disowned, I will get on with the review of this story, that as much as it makes me upset, I absolutely adored! You did such a wonderful job of writing Neville, and he just comes to life in a way that is so realistic to his character, that I just want to steal him away and take him off to live in a life of sin! He is vunerable and yet in the same breath, a force to be reckoned with, and I found myself insantly in lurve with him!
Then we move to Pansy, and honestly Miss Courtney Marie, I don't know how you did it, but you made her into this amazing character. Essentially, you make it so that we don't exactly love her, as she is still somewhat of an enemy in my mind, but you make her likeable, and I think that is a wonderful talent. To take a character we have been told for so long to dislike, and make her likeable in a realistic way. You didn't really change who she was, instead you gave us the insight to see why she is that way. Beautiful!
Overall this whole idea of Neville and Pansy is just wonderful, and I cannot describe to you in words how real this story felt. I never once sat back and thought "Meh, that wouldn't happen" I was always sitting at the edge of my seat, my heart going out to the both of them. You wrote it in a way that we can not only understand the choices made, but also have an emotional connection with these characters. In the end, my heart understands and feels for both of them. I can relate to Neville's frustration, and yet in the same breath, I can understand why Pansy made the choices she made. That is not only rare, it is phenomenal, a magnificant talent!
The ending, is by far the most powerful part, and while I really think you ended it in the only way it could be ended, I want to wring your neck for doing it! It was beautifully done though, and I think that is one of your strongest talents, to turn something that should be horrifying and miserable, into something beautiful, I am in awe of that Courtney!
I don't know how many more words I can come up with for amazing, so I will leave you with that. This story is amazing, you are amazing, everything that you do is amazing! You took this unlikely pair and you made it into something beautiful. It was like you took these two pieces of this mangled puzzle, and you fit the together to produce the gorgeous picture underneath. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece with the world.
P.S. You can be un-disowned if you write me a happy story ^_^
Author's Response: Ooooh, Tiffy Spliffy Wiffy... I have been disowned? The horror! The shame! The tears I shall cry! The sleep I shall lose! The- Alright, I'll just write you a happier fic, how is that? I will entitle it "Tifgus" and you and Argus will live happily ever after. Are you appeased now?
I thought so.
Your reviews never fail to make me laugh. Much more than a smile, dearest, I find myself at a loss for words. The sheer knowledge that you spend enough time and creativity on a review for me brings a light to my day.
I am SO thrilled to hear that you liked both Neville and Pansy. To be honest, I knew when starting this fic, that I would be using Neville. But the question plagued me for weeks- who to pair him with? It was a tough decision, and thanks to the DH epilogue (which some of us do like to pretend doesn't exist) it is now firmly AU. Either way though, I'm really stinkin' glad you liked this. =) You know how much your reviews mean to me.
The fact that you want to wring my neck made me laugh. I think I was supposed to be fearful, though... So next time you see me, just pretend my laughter is actually tears of terror. Alright?
THANK YOU, Tiffy Spliffy Wiffy, for once again taking the time to read, review, and bring a smile to my day.
Okay, so first off, I love the chapter graphic, I saw it and did a little dance/squee moment in my chair! Anyways, back to what I hope will resemble some sort of sane review in some form or another, however I make no promises! So, right down to business!
I absolutely love that this story is about Arthur and Molly, I have always adored their relationship and it makes me sad that we never really get to see much from them, just little hints here and there, so it was very refreshing to see a whole little chapter dedicated to them. Not to mention that the beginning of this story is so amazing, I was captivated from the very beginning! I could just imagine the scene perfectly in my mind, as Molly tried to pace out some of her frustrations and concern.
I could tell that you really took the time to add some of those simple but really nice small touches. Just the little things, like the tatters of her robe on the floor and that she was waiting for Arthur. It is my firm belief that it is those types of touches that really make a story go from good, to great.
I absolutely fell in love with Molly's thoughts about Harry, they are just everything I could ever imagine her thinking about him. Her concern for him, is probably one of the most touching elements of the Harry Potter books, and you managed to bring it to life in this story! Then you move onto this very realistic and heartbreaking worry that she has let her children down, and that is so sad, and yet at the same time, understandable. What makes this story so wonderful is how realistic it is to Molly's character. Every word out of her mouth is so believable to that character.
I especially loved when Molly was being all serious about the boys going and getting Harry with the car, and for a moment there, Arthur gets stuck on the car and how sad that it is out there roaming around alone. It was such an Arthur moment, that I could have sworn it was something J.K came up with herself. Then on to Molly's wonderful memories, and while they hold a hint of sadness, they are very true to her.
Then I absolutely loved that they had their little Arthur and Molly moment *melts to the floor like a little puddle* I adore them, and to see them have a moment, was just so fun to read, and of course made me go Awww! Which would have been embarressing if anyone were in the room, luckily there was not, and people are still fooled into thinking I am somewhat sane and normal. I also really enjoyed her little moment where she got all indignant and everything! So cute!
My absolute favorite part though was the end here, that last little paragraph, made me want to cry! It was just so sweet! Overall it was a wonderful read, and I am so happy you jokingly asked me to read it! Fantastic! Report Review
I'm finally here, only like six months later or somthing! I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to get here, I have been horribly behind on answering reviews and I just now saw your request! Anyways I thought I would drop by and check out some of your work and tell you what I thought! You always take the time to leave me such nice and thoughtful reviews, it only seemed fair! :D
Alright, I will go ahead and start with just a few pieces of advice, one of the things that really struck me while I was reading this, was the changing of point of view. It changes a lot from Harry to Ginny, and sometimes it throws some of the tenses off, and that can be distracting. Luckily it's something that once you are aware of it, is super easy to avoid. My best suggestion would be to concentrate on one character, write their feelings and get it all out, and then if need be, cut to a new point of view with a page break, and show how they viewed the sceen. So for instance, you could start with Harry, show everything he is feeling as Hermione questions him, and then page break to Ginny as she sits there and listens to it all like that. I just really think it would clean this up and really make it come all together.
Now, for the good, you have a really great idea here, and I love that Ginny is standing on the staircase listening to this all happen. I really think it's a very plausible plot line to be honest, and I love that Ron has suddenly become the support back-up for Hermione now that they are together. It's little touches like that that really bring your story together in the long run.
Overall you have a fine piece of work here, and with a little work, and of course practice, I really feel like you can make this a wonderful story! Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier, but I just logged in after a couple months. Thanks again for taking the time to write all that. I appreciate it alot!
~Cassie Report Review
*GASP* I was RIGHT! *does a happy little nicdance that her smart alack remarks about Ron were correct* I love the fact that my attempts at being funny turned out to be right! *dies* I should try to be funny more often, maybe then I could actually guess what is going to happen in the 7th book *will be a 7th book prophet by being a bit of a smart alack* Okay, now that I feel much better and have worked that I TOLD YOU SO, out of my system, I am ready to review!
*slinks in with her head hung in shame* I feel horrendous that I have never reviewed this chapter!! *slaps own hand* This chapter was so amazing too, what on earth took me so long to get over here? *ponders* *images of scary monsters with razor sharp teeth and multiple personalities and heroes with pink laser eyes taking out the monsters and leaving them wounded and whining on the floor fills her mind* Never mind that though, I am here now, ready to leave you a review! WAHEY!!!
First off, thank you so very much for the dedication *blushes and feels all warm and fuzzy inside* To have someone of you caliber and writing ability, basically my wee little mentor, dedicate a chapter to me and my crazy elf-riot buddy, is quite an honor *feels like she has won sort of award* *blows raspberries at everyone else before deciding that is rude and starts acting like the adult that she is.sort of* Honestly, you are the reason why I thought I could give this writing thing a shot, so reading you work and seeing that dedication is quite an honor. *Oscar music starts playing and Tiffers glares at Scribbie who is undoubtedly backstage playing it*
*sigh* Okay back to the "actual story" you know, the reason why I came to review! I love Hermione!!! *basks in Hermione love glory* You write her so incredibly well that I want to use my fake wand and shrink her down and put her in my little bitty pocket and carry her around! The whole Hermione/Fake Ron scene was brilliant *mumbles something about Fake people* Fake Ron was interesting in his own right because *GASP* he was SNAPE! *pukes in her mouth a little*
SQUEEE! *dances around a little as she watches Hermione and Sirius start making out* YAY! I have been waiting and waiting to see the bookworm minx and hunky godfather get it on! *ignores the fact that her sentence sounds like something that belongs in an dirty movie and pushes the two of them closer together*
"I love you," he promised with all the air he could find in his lungs.
Hermione clung to him, her breathing erratic. "Ditto," she ground out quietly, trying to hold in her cries, because knowing she would be without him once again in less than an hour's time was slowly ripping her to pieces.
*WALTER FACE* NO! *screams at Jessi* You cannot show us that and then rip it all away! You massive jerkface! *sobs herself to sleep rocking back and forth and griping her little pillow for comfort* You big meanie! Okay back to the story! I am SOOO confused! *giggles and eats some more Zotz* Just kidding, I think I know exactly what is going on!
I love everything with Harry and Ron (aka the real Harry and Ron, although sometimes I call them Billy-Bob and Murray) They are just hilarious, you are such a genius with them. Not to mention everything with Fake Ron and Harry. Also everything with James and Hermione, AMAZING! Although I am relieved they don't consummate anything, because then Hermione would apparently be only a memory, what a way to go!
Okay I think a million other things as well, and I promise my next review will not be as crazy as this one! I love this story, and I adore you and I freaking love Sirius and Hermione, who I sometimes call Hermius, and GAH! *HUGGLE ATTACKLE GLOMPEROO* I cannot wait to catch up on the other chapters because I am sure they are just as amazing as this one!!!
You most certainly have got to love your friends *snorts* poor Morgan being awoken so early and that tricky Lily ;) Once again you have started this chapter with beautiful writing that just seems to leap off the pages at the reader. It's easy to see that you enjoy writing these characters, and they certainly have a life of their own. Morgan is an extremely enjoyable OC to read about, and you bring a fresh life to the characters we already know and love.
I love how seamlessly you introduce pieces of the plot and show us exactly what sort of obstacles are facing Morgan. First off we have her money issues which she discuss in a classy way that feels neither forced or fake. I especially love how the scene went from very serious to one a little more comical as Sirius makes a typical appearance, one that most certainly left a smile on my face.
Once again we get to see more of that wonderful Lily/Morgan exchange and it never fails to evoke a smile on my face. Definitely one of the more realistic Lily friends with an OC that I have ever read. I do have to honestly say that this ending scene in my mind surpasses all the previously written scenes though, it was phenomenal! Absolutely hilarious, and I definitely have to say it left me wanting more to read. I most certainly want to read more about Morgan after this little display in class.
Overall you have a breathtaking story here, absolutely lovely. You have a terrific grasp on dialogue, it just jumps off the page, and flows so beautifully, which is extremely hard to accomplish. Your descriptions are lovely and all of the characters are really coming together beautifully. You have managed to steer clear of most of those pesky little cliches, so kudos to you! Thank you for sharing your brilliant story with me, you are doing a fantastic job in my opinion! Author's Response: Once again, thank you for reading and reviewing!
We most certainly love writing for this story, albite our standard sometimes gets too high up and it feels like it'll take forever to get the chapter to the shape we want it to be ;) In the end, it always pays off though, to be able to read the chapter and be captured by it, even if it's our own writing *lol*
We try to keep the story somewhat light all the time, I personally am not a huge fan of super angsty stories and thus want to write something different. Therefore we have more or less comical interludes when things start to get too serious, though I can reveal that the story does get darker little by little as it progresses ;)
Thank you so much for your kind words! I think the main reason why we have managed to reach this level of writing is the fact we are doing a collaboration. I have my strong points as a writer and so does my co-author. We also have our weaknesses, but thankfully our strengths and weaknesses support each other rather than accumulating into something possibly disasterous :P
I was so worried that this was going to be completely clichéd in everyone's opinion. Having an red-head OC from abroad who joins Hogwarts on the 7th year, being friends with Lily...writing it out like that it sounds frightenly much like one of those super clichéd fics *shiver* I'm flattered and proud to hear we have surpassed that though ^^
The next chapter is in validation actually so depending how the queue goes it'll be up sometime this week!
Thanks again! Your wondeful reviews really brightened up our day! Report Review
First off I have to say that I love that Lily points out that Morgan, who seems almost fearless, is terrified of sitting up there and having people watch her. I think it was a smart move, to show that she can be affected by something like that, and quite honestly, who wouldn't be nervous beyond belief. She is already going to stand out because she is older, and something like that would be nerve-wracking anyways. I guess I am mostly pleased that it did affect her in some way, once again, it feels more authentic that way.
Loved Dumbledore's speech, it was very different and unique, and nothing is better than when a writer takes something and makes it completely and utterly their own. It also was a good reminder that not everything is perfect, and technically, nothing really ever is. I found the parts with Alice and Lily very interesting, and I especially adored their traveling up to the dorm rooms. You did a nice job of creating a nice little girly unit here, while Alice isn't technically best buddy status with them, it makes for a nice addition to have her there to mingle with the other two. One small thing that I noticed and it just really blew me away because it seemed to really make Alice come to life, was the hint of reference to the drooble's blowing bubble gum, I loved it!
Sirius makes a move, he wouldn't be Sirius if he didn't try and use his charm to win someone over. I, of course love that she turned him down, and I love even more that he is stunned. It really says a lot about Sirius' character that he is shocked by this, but it seems to be like something he would feel. More than anything I love that this turn down was in public, nice touch.
So they are going to me a bet eh? Typical teenage boys, thinking that making a bet is going to make everything happen, and even more typical of them to think that any girl is going to positively melt if they ask them out. I am anxious to see where this is going. Another lovely chapter, and I love that things are beginning to pick up and we are starting to see some read characteristics show through. Oh, and because I forgot to mention it earlier, loved what happened to Enid, absolutely slayed me. Wonderful job!
Author's Response: You know, your reviews have blastered this unnaturally wide grin on my face, I'm not sure if it's going to wear off for a week *lol* Yet again, thank you for reading and reviewing!
The Sorting was a difficult situation for Morgan. She's not used to being the center of the attention (coming from a small, bit isolated Irish village) and she was painfully aware how much older than everyone else she was. Her pride wouldn't let her to show her fear though, and Lily was pretty much the only one who figured out what was going on in there... We aim to make her as realistic as possible and to hear we've succeeded in our goal is among the greatest compliments we can get from anyone!
I've always been fond of Alice, she seemes like such a lovely girl whose life got shattered much too soon. That's why I really wanted to include her to the story along with the fact it seemed logical to me ^^. The way I see it she's Lily's closest friend in Hogwarts and has heard a lot about the (mis)adventures of Morgan ;). We try our best to add little references to the small canon details, and it's awesome to hear that not only you pick it up, but that it brought Alice to life for you!
I'm bit unsatisfied with the Sirius' move, actually.There's just something in it that bugs me I just can't lay my finger on it. Most likely is the fact that we haven't written out why exactly he decided to make a move on Morgan. Though she IS quite foxy (but since no one hasn't really told that to her, she is more or less clueless about her looks :P. As a sidenote she's very much like Geri Halliwell, the ex-current-Spice Girls member.)...Sirius' reaction I, on the other hand, am satisfied with. Even though I don't see him as a complete womanizer, I think he has gotten too used to getting what he wants. Morgan, having formed a very negatively prejudiced picture of him, has zero problem of turning him down. Even less so because of her relationship with the son of her mentor ;)
The bet is something I've seen guys doing (too) many times. Somehow it just sounded like Sirius and James so it was a natural step to take after the public humiliation.
*grins* They'll have some rough times ahead the whole lot...
Oh Enid was another brilliant idea form my co-author, N. Enid might actually return to Hogwarts later on, depending how much we edit the exisiting plot line ^^
Thank you again for reviewing! Report Review
Alright, so I know that this was the one you didn't list to review since I said I would only do five chapters, but I am enjoying this chapter, and I do enjoy reviewing, so here I am! :D I absolutely adored this chapter! What really struck me about this chapter was the relationship building between Lily and Morgan, we get to see a little more with each chapter, and I love how you are slowly unveiling their friendship, and even more than that I adore the fact that they get snippy with each other. Nothing is more annoying to me than "perfect relationships", so I really admire that you don't take that route with those two.
I also really enjoyed the learning about Morgan's life, and what sorts of things that she did when she was with her mentor. It's fun to sort of get this fresh perspective of Hogwarts from somebody who has known a life outside of it, and is coming in new at a point where most people are completely comfortable there. What struck me the most is that you really show her reaction to Hogwarts instead of telling us. I love that in a writer, and I really enjoyed her reactions to the paintings, brilliant!
I have to give you props on doing a sorting hat song, because quite honestly I wouldn't be able to do one, I am not that creative, and it really was a nice touch. I love that we get to see a nervous side of her, you are slowly exposing all sides of her to us and it's making for a wonderfully well-rounded and interesting character. Once again, you have done a beautiful job of bringing this story together. Well done!Author's Response: Awwww, not THIS was the greatest complement we could have ever gotten; someone reading and reviewing even the chapters they don't have to! Thank you thousand times for this...
We had a lot of fun writing about the scene between Lily and Morgan, and in a sense I think we transferred somethings from our own friendship in to their relationship...I've always thought that if you can be snippy with your pal you really have a true Friend ^^
Morgan has a bit unusual background, it just occured to my mind that I didn't know what would happen if someone magical didn't go to Hogwarts for one reason or the other. After some thinking Morgan's background was created ^^ She has a bit of an issue of not really belonging in either of the worlds, poor thing.
I'm very pleased to hear that we've managed to avoid the direct telling to the point the story flows onward naturally. The Sorting Hat song is by my co-author, without her I'd be in biiiiig trouble as I can't rhyme if my life would depend on it *L*
Thank you again for reviewing! Report Review
Another very enlightening chapter here, and we get to see more about what makes Morgan who she is, very interesting. As much as I love seeing the entire group together, I missed the interaction between Remus and Morgan without the others, there is something about those two together that really makes me smile. I am pretty sure Morgan is supposed to get with Sirius, but if you were to ever change your mind on that Remus/Morgan would work very well. Then again in stories there is always the safe choice that a character would work well with, and the right choice, which the character can't live without, which I think in this story equals out to Sirius.
Morgan is a very intriguing character in my mind, for several reasons. First we have this not really knowing magic, which I think was a good step because you don't have this Mary-Sue syndrome coming down on her. I also really like that she's judgmental of all the Marauders, it just really makes her stand out in my mind as someone who is not swayed by looks and charm. I really love that she has sort of this reckless spirit too. She's not like everybody else, but you have done it in a way that doesn't make her seem like a annoyingly perfect at everything character.
Once again the conversations between characters and descriptions of the scenes were beautiful and the chapter just flowed flawlessy. There was no point at which I felt like the chapter was dragging, and I am still waiting to see how things go when she reached Hogwarts.
Great Work!Author's Response: Yet again, thank you for your reviews, they mean a lot to us ^^
You have no idea how badly I'd like to talk about the relationships between the characters, but in the end that would make the whole story pointless would it not :P Though it's wise to keep in mind that Morgie is actually seeing someone as it is *grins*
I'm thrilled to hear you are intreagued by Morgan. We've spent a LOT of time perfecting her story and her character and tried to be as logical as possible. Simply the fact that she attends to the 7th year without going to Hogwarts before needed an explanation and the most logical one was the fact she wasn't allowed to go when she received her letter. And since she wasn't allowed to go, she couldn't study and thus she's very very bad with wand magic ;) It's such a great thing to hear that our hard work has paid off ^^
Thank you again for your lovely reviews, they mean so lot us!
OOO! Very interesting chapter, and incredibly well written I must add. The words flowed together so beautifully, and I was captivated from beginning to end by this chapter. Morgan is really beginning to take shape in this chapter, and I must add, I like her. There is something about her that is very likable, and it's easy to understand her feelings on the boys. I just really like this character, she doesn't feel forced or overly dramatic, she feels real, and above all, I adore that.
I especially loved the way you described Peter, Sirius, and Remus as they were sitting there on the train, absolutely spot on, in my opinion. They really came to life, and I especially enjoyed the exchange between Sirius and Morgan. You wrote Sirius the way I imagine him in my head, and everything about it felt natural. When it comes to writing a scene between and OC and Sirius, more times than not it feel forced and artificial, but definitely not in this chapter.
What really made this chapter stand out though was the exchange between Remus and Morgan. If I though the Sirius/Morgan conversation was incredible, this one completely blew it out of the water. I love that he defends his friends, and yet at the same time, can agree that they are in fact annoying. I also really like that she can have an intelligent conversation with him, and not be affected by the fact that he is a male. Overall it was lovely and well written.
I was also particularly moved by her feeling about Hogwarts, and her evident nervousness considering she had never gone to a school before to learn, and she is slightly scared that she will muck this up. Once again, very authentic feelings that come across just right, and really enhance the story. Another very stunning chapter, one that has hooked me, most definitely, and made me want to read more about this precious OC.
Well Done!Author's Response: First of all thank you so much for reading and reviewing again!
Your review is one of the few that have left me and my co-author both speechless and blushing *sheepish smile* It's is invaluable to hear from a reader that our take on the Marauders Era is something that they enjoy reading and furthermore that our Morgan feels real enough to be likeable ^^
We've been working with Morgan for quite some time now, and I'm proud to say we managed to transfer almost a Mary Sue into the girl that we write about now..She's very special for both of us, not least because she's the first OC we've created.
What it comes to the Marauders I'm so incredibly honoured to hear you found them natural and the describtions accurate. We've tried to capture Sirius' arrogance and 'meaness', he might be a hunk but he has his faults. With Peter I think we are still giving somewhat flat charactarisation as it is, but we are planning to explore and expand on his character much more in the future. Remus, on the other hand is the hand writing of my co-author almost completely. My theory is that she shares some sort of mental link with Lupin *L*
This was a tough chapter for Morgan. The poor girl was left all alone in the compartment with three boys she's heard horror stories about, on her way to the castle where everyone will expect her to know a whole lot more of magic than she actually does.
Thank you again for your lovely review, it really made my day ^^ Report Review
You have a very strong beginning here, and you do a lovely job of slowly introducing this new OC character. I loved the way you slowly delved into the story, taking you time and really establishing who this character is, and her connections to Lily. It was very interesting to see the interactions between Lily and James, especially the way the two of them fire comebacks and such at each other, you seem to have a nice grip on the way those two interact with one another.
This chapter moved fast, but not in a way that was distracting or pulled away from the story in any way. I really loved the personality that you are creating for Morgan, and I am anxious to see what sort of role that she plays. Overall I think you have a really solid beginning here, and I look forward to reading more about the Marauders in the future chapters. Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
I'm happy to hear you liked our choice of introducing the OC into the story, it seems really divide the readers ;) I personally enjoy reading stories where things are told indirectly and thus I stand behind the choice we made here, but it's always great to here I'm not alone *L*
Lily is another cause of controversy in the beginning here, some people think she's fine others say she's out of character...I personally don't feel she's OOC, but instead her and James' bickering is closer to teasing than fighting. Needless to say I'm pleased to hear you found her believable ^^.
The first three chapters we have here could have actually been presented as one gigantic one, but for the sake of our readers we decided to split it up in three. Thus the pace can bee quite fast at times, but as the first ~10,000 words are spent on three chapters I've always feared it's bit too slow beginning rather than fast...
Again, thank you for taking the time to read and review, it means a lot ^^. I'm glad to hear you found the first chapter enjoyable to read! Report Review
This chapter was definitely different from the last, but different isn't always a bad thing and in this case, it was a pleasant surprise. I love that we got to see Hermione and Draco in this chapter, it was fun to see you write the HP characters and I was of course, once again blown away by your writing style, I cannot say enough how beautiful it truly is, in my opinion.
You seem to have an amazing grasp on Hermione's character, and sometimes when reading stories I feel like Hermione is forced, but never at any point during my readings of this chapter did I feel that way. In fact I found myself shocked at how well-written she was, you have this very easy-going style of writing that just flows. Hermione truly came to life in this chapter, and I feel like it was because you didn't try to change her, she is who she is, and that hasn't changed. She's still the type of girl who feels more at home with her books, and seeing her relationship with her parents was enlightening to say the least. I respect, and genuinely admire the way you portrayed her parents, and adore the fact that her father is incredibly proud of her, while her mother is somewhat disappointed, what a nice twist.
Draco...is Draco, and you didn't try and change that, just like Hermione, he is who he is, and nothing really changed that. I feel like in too many stories about Draco/Hermione, one or both of their personalities is compromised, and thus far you haven't fallen into that trap, so congratulations, so far, you have managed to really make them come to life, and also made them stay true to character, a rare feat!
If even possible, I am even more intrigued by this story now than I was by the first chapter, and considering not much plot wise has taken place, that is incredible, it really shows how talented you are. I am certainly going to have to add this story to my favorites because I am very anxious to see where you take this! Wonderful job, this is truly some top notch work, and I am thrilled that you sent this amazing piece my way! Author's Response: Wow! Another long review?? Oh my dear you spoil me far too much lol jk. I think it was definetly necessary for the difference in things like setting and mood, because it would just be a little weird if it was still dark huh? And the non glumminess Hogwarts era is what I'd like to think as a little dramatic foil as before. I did alot of planning ^__^ (is feeling a little nerdy)
Hermione and I have so many things in common, its actually kind of scary. Although I don't think I would do S.P.E.W.....so I just find it natural to write her. And I understand what you mean about Hermione being forced, I too come upon them :) but I guess if you're not that type of girl she would be a hard character to write. Oh my god if it is one thing i hate with a passion, it is people changing Hermione into something she would be absolutely against in canon. So thank you for making that comment on me not changing her! I really appreciate it and it makes me all happy :)
I notice that in alot of Hermione/Anyone fics (mostly D/Hr) Hermione has the most perfect family to support her while her love interest is the exact opposite. So I figured "What if the Grngers aren't exactly a perfect supportive parents?" and the rest is history.
I personally agree with you on what happens in Dramiones and at least one thing is sacrificed to make it work. And that something is usually something vital in canon, characterization and that's what's feuling me to my goal: make the story believable without having to sacrifice a vital thing (barring their feelings for one another, I know they would never love each other in canon...liking is a possibility)
Thank you for the most LOVELY review and compliments!!! And muchos gracias for addin' to your favourites! Report Review
Wow! That was incredibly tense, and amazingly well-written! You had me hooked from the very first word until the very end of this chapter. I am loving this concept so far, and it's very clear that you have amazing talent, everything is worded so eloquently and the chapter flows together beautifully. I was really excited to find that this story started with a bit of background information and I am even more excited to see where you take this story.
These characters are so believable and they just jump right at you from the screen. It was almost like I could see the scene unfolding in my head, and you made it come across as so foreboding and dark, and yet that is what is so captivating about this story thus far. Caleb is amazingly creepy, just one of those characters that you love to hate, and I absolutely adore reading about those types of characters.
What caught my attention the most about this chapter was how authentic it felt, it didn't feel forced, and I could imagine it as actually how the events unfolded, it seemed that real! Overall just an amazing start, and like I said, completely intriguing. I am anxious to see where one would take a story like this and cross it over with the character from Harry Potter, not to mention I cannot wait to read more of your fantastic writing style, it's just amazingly beautiful!Author's Response: Wow to you too! Thank you so much for taking the time to review, especially one that's so long :D!
I took alot of time preparing my characters for this particular scene (oooh boy, the way I wrote that made it sound like I was directing an actor...but I guess I was...in a sense) so that they could make you viewers feel every emotion they were feeling, and possibly even see what they were seeing and I'm so glad you enjoyed that!!! Caleb, oh my, is probably one of my better creations, and I feel HONOURED that you thought he was an excellent part. I had spent so much time and energy on him alone, I just wanted him to be perfect and to hear you say tht makes me wanna cry with joy...I hope I didn't freak you out. I love those characters too (Jason Isaacs in the Patriot is a perfect example.)
Thank you so much for the compliments, you are a very talented reviewer!! Thank you once again, for reviewing! *hugs
XxVampireXx Report Review
AWWW! *tear* I absolutely loved this Violet! Rarely when one offers to give out reviews do they find a story that they truly fall in love with, but luckily for me, you brought this little gem to my attention. First off, the banner is amazing, and I adore it! ^_^ You always have such beautiful banners, and they really catch the attention of the readers, not to mention I think it really fits with this story beautifully!
Now, to this amazing story, that is still leaving me slightly speechless. You have such a beautiful style of writing, and I have enjoyed reading your one shots immensely, they always leave me wanting more, and I truly feel it is a mark of a good story to make the reader want more. This story surprised me, mostly because I wasn't sure if I was going to be interested in reading about Minerva for an entire story. Turns out...I DO! I was completely blown away by this, you did an amazing job of making her come to life. You may have felt that she didn't really stay Minerva-ish, but I truly felt reading this that this one-shot could have come from J.K's own personal collection of histories about her characters.
I absolutely adore Grimm!!! Here's the thing, I am wary of OC's, and I am not sure why, as I have read some really incredible OC's on this site, but I am always a little unsure if I want to read about them. It takes a very talented person to make me care as much about the OC as I do about one of the original HP characters, but unsurprisingly you managed to make me fall in love with Grimm. He's sort of one of those characters you cannot help but respect. There was just something about his flawed character that I really found myself latching to, I think he is amazing, and I am guessing since this story sort of came about from one of your other stories, that you have written about him before? I would very much be interested in reading more about him.
Their whole interaction is incredible, and what strikes me the most, is how real it feels. How the feelings between them are so palpable and how much I felt like I was watching this movie of the scenes unfolding. *gobbles down more of the popcorn she made to watch the scene between them* Their story is just so bittersweet and yet so hauntingly beautiful at the same time. I just cannot put into words how touching and moving and heartbreaking this story was. I loved it Violet, truly and honestly loved it to pieces!
Another wonderful story to add to my collection of favorites, you make it increasingly clear with each and every story of yours that I read, why you are so respected and liked as an author. You have phenomenal talent my dear, and it wouldn't surprise me if someday soon we see you publish something, I certainly know I would be in line to buy it! Amazing job, thank you sooo very much for sharing this fantastic story with me, I feel honored!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for doing this, tiffers! I really value your opinion. ^_^ It's really awesome that you like Grimm - he's probably the most real character I've ever come up with - more flawed than anything else. And it's a relief about Minerva, though a surprise that it's that good of a portrayal - JKR's personal collection? Wow! =DI'm really happy that you enjoyed the story so much,tiffers, and that you found it so moving. Honestly, I can't tell you how I was able to write something like that, haha. Once again, thank you for the review. =D Report Review
This chapter was definitely a little longer, and things to moved a little slower, but once again, remember, you don't have to race, take you your time, and I cannot say it enough...descriptions are your friend, they really make stories come to life. I do have to say that I found myself slightly confused by the anger between the boys on the Quidditch Pitch, I understand that people don't particularly love to be around people who are great at everything, but I think it escalated very fast. I highly doubt they would get physically violent with each other that soon, I imagine some pouting and general muttering under the breath for a good amount of time would have ensued first.
I can certainly tell that you are trying to make this story your own, but I think you need to step away from the original Harry Potter series and throw in more of your own ideas. So far the timeline seems to follow that of what happened to Harry, and I would love to see Ronnie encounter different things, different problems. You can take this as far as you want, so get really creative, throw us a curveball, keep us on the edge of our seats ;) trust me...we want that!
I do have to say that the quality of writing has definitely improved, and I feel like you are getting a groove here, and finding your own style. Just remember that descriptions are your friend, and that you don't have to rush, in the end you will be amazed by the results that you can achieve! You have a solid start here!!
Good Job!Author's Response: Thanks once again for your review. You have helped so much. I am rushing writing the chapters even, which is not good, because Im just too excited to get this fic out of me, because its been in my for so long. I have noticed a lot of similarities, so I will have to change my plot around a little. Thanks a bunch! Report Review
Things are once again moving fast, and I definitely would suggest slowing down a little bit, although I do have to say this chapter wasn't as rushed. It was interesting to see what Harry said in his position as headmaster, and I think that you seem to have a good handle on how he would handle that sort of position, I do feel he would most likely take on a few Dumbledore characteristics. It was interesting to see that some of the teachers were the same while others were replaced, a nice mix of old and new characters in different positions.
The whole Gryffindor descendant plot is intriguing and I am interested to see where you take it, and what it means for these characters. The bit between Harry and Hermione was definitely enlightening, and even more interesting...they got caught by someone. Although technically I think if Harry was going to be talking about a student like that he would most likely have done it in his own office, but I understand for the plot you needed to do it that way.
You introduced a lot of new characters in this chapter and I did at times have a hard time following who was who, so maybe there is a way to really distinguish these characters, make them very personable so there is no possible way to mistake them for others. Also they seemed to be quite open considering their age, and I am thinking they would more likely be slightly shy, but maybe that is just me.
Things are definitely starting to take shape and it will be interesting to see what you do to make this story plot truly your own.
Good Job!Author's Response: thanks again for your review, as always its greatly appreciated. Some of my characters are shy, some are not, thats just their personality. Report Review
Okay, so we definitely got to see more of Ronnie in this chapter, and we also had the introductions of what I can see becoming a very important part of the plot. So one of the biggest things that catches my eye in this chapter is pace. You move fast, and in some stories and instances, it's needed, but I feel like right now, in this story, you might want to take a step back, breathe, and slow it down a little. You missed out on so many wonderful opportunities to really make Ronnie come to life for us. Diagon Alley...you could have really showed us his feelings there, and if you ever feel like editing this chapter, that would be an amazing hook to catch the readers. You could explain how Ronnie feels as he catches sight of all these wonderful things, and these amazingly new and different scents. Ronnie has five senses: taste, sight, hearing, smelling, and touch; use them! Let us see inside his head and what he is feeling, you will not regret it, and neither will your readers. Not to mention, it helps the writer understand their own characters better.
Onto the train ride, you definitely, once again covered a lot of ground here, and you showed us basically who the villain is and what we are looking for in the future. Just a few minor things that I noticed, the conversation feels a little forced, not exactly how I would imagine real boys to talk, I am not sure that I have much advice here, except that when you write, really think about the way you would talk, and how it feels more natural and less forced than it does when people write out conversations sometimes. The introduction of Malfoy Jr. was certainly interesting, and I was a little shocked that his mother is Luna...very interesting twist there. The animosity between the boys seemed to spring up rather fast and with no real reason behind it, I would definitely suggest looking at that, and maybe instigating a little something more between them, just so the anger between them doesn't feel forced or unwarranted.
Ronnie made it to Hogwarts! WAHEY for him! I am very interested to see where he gets placed, and just a last little bit of advice, this is obviously a huge step for him, and going to be slightly scary, or it would be in my opinion, show us that fear or anxiousness, really let us see the real Ronnie and how he feels!
Good Job!Author's Response: thanks again for your review. It is always greatly appreciated. You are a huge help, thanks Report Review
Alright, I will start with just a few things that I think you definitely need to look over. I definitely think that you need to go through this first chapter carefully, taking extra care to edit all the misspelled words, as they can be slightly distracting. Not to mention, this is the first chapter, it has to make a statement, you want the readers to want to continue, and making your first chapter strong is essential for that to happen. Secondly, character development, I realize that you want to get into the meat of your story right away, we all do ;) If you are like me, I was incredibly impatient to dive right into my story, that I didn't take the time to build a strong foundation, but I cannot stress how essential that is to a great story. You have to make the readers want more, you have to make them so desperate to read the next chapter that they can barely contain their excitement, and one of the best ways to do that.strong character development. Make us get to know Ronnie inside and out, don't just tell us about him, show us! Show us little pieces of his personality through actions, let us see his inner thoughts, his fears, his wants. Make us love him!
I did notice in the Harry/Dumbledore exchange that in one moment Dumbledore is tired and in the next he is smiling, and it made me pause. Something about it seemed off, and I would suggest making that exchange longer if at all possible. Show us how he went from tired to smiling, not to mention it's great to see Harry and Dumbledore in that sort of role, show how time has changed and yet they still have that incredible bond between them.
Overall you seem to have an interesting concept here, a little like the real stories but with a twist and obviously with some of our favorite characters in the roles we know all to well, example: Hermione as transfiguration teacher. I think it will be interesting to see how Ronnie is different than Harry, and how having a real family makes him different than Harry was when he came to school, as I am sure those few things will cause considerable differences.
Good Job! Author's Response: thank you for the review, it is greatly appreciated. I will probably edit that chapter, it was terrible. Report Review
SQUEEE! I get to be the very first reviewer, how very very exciting! Unless of course someone posts a review while I am writing this, in which case I will be extremely distraught. Okay, time to pretend that I am sane and give this story a review that it deserves.
First off, as always, you completely blew me away, it was so beautiful, even though I wanted to scream and yell at the end, and pull out my non-existent Ouija board and bring them both back to me!! I really loved that you did this in first person, it really made the reader feel like they were the one experiencing all of these feelings. No surprise here that it was an angsty story, for one it's your style, and secondly you told me it was going to be angsty before I read it.
I absolutely adore the fact that she wants to stop being protected, because I can really see Ginny feeling that way, especially as the only girl in a family of boys. I especially love the way that she talks to him, you really showcase the stubborn, hard-headed routine that Ginny is known for, and also the amount of love that she has for him...stunning!
The battle scene is absolutely breath-taking, completely amazing, because normally I find myself uninterested by such scenes, but you wrote it in such a way that I was captivated the entire time. And OMFG, the part with the Voldemort/Bellatrix/Harry/Ginny face-off, I was absolutely stunned, I had no words. The amount of emotion that flowed in that section of the story, I adored it. I love the idea that love makes an appearance again, and that she would be willing to do something like that for him, it really shows how much she loved him. It was just...I really have no words for it, it was just fantastic.
As for the ending *tear* so emotional, so incredibly sad but also beautiful, that it truly makes me want to cry. I felt like I was watching a very very incredibly sad movie as I read the ending to this, and wishing I had a massive bowl of ice cream and a box of kleenex to drown my tears in. I especially love how you ended it, so simply, be just re-stating that she would follow him anywhere.
All in all, this was a fantastic story, as always you leave me speechless and incredibly impressed. I may have said before that it takes a very talented person to write an angsty story that leaves you wanting more, but you have managed to do it again. I cannot tell you enough how beautifully sad this story was, definitely provoked emotions, and every fantastic story does that. Wonderful job deary!! *huggle glomp attack*Author's Response: Oh my gosh! I'm stunned! I don't even know how to respond, other than you are going to make my ego so large it will probably explode my head. I'm so glad that the V/B/H/G face-off blew you away since that was the part of the story where I really just wanted to capture everything they were feeling, even though it was only from Ginny's POV. The ending! I'm also really glad that it was like watching a movie! I always always strive for that in every story I make because personally, I think it's the ultimate challenge to grab the readers attention so much that they can actually see the scene playing out in their head, but can also dig right into the character and know their every thought and feeling while doing it. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Your review left me speechless! Haha... *huggles* Report Review
*smacks Beth upside the head* What on earth is wrong with you? All this time you have pretending that your stories weren't any good, warning me not to read them *disgruntled look* Look what I have been missing out on Bethan *taps foot impatiently* This was a wonderful story dear! You captured the emotions beautifully, and you really made her pain come to life.
I really love stories where we aren't really given names, because I think they produce powerful results, like in this story it's about her, and how she is feeling in this moment, it doesn't matter who she is, as long as we understand what she is feeling and we truly and completely understand. You write gorgeous imagery, it really makes the scene come to life, I could imagine her perfectly in my mind.
I especially loved how you talked about her state of mind and how instead of learning how to become independent she has become so dependent on him that she is like a child...powerful. I also really enjoyed how you describe how things were different before they married, because it shows why she would have made the decision to be with him, I have to say my favorite line was about his writing and how she knew it better than him, absolutely stunning.
I truly did enjoy this dear, and if you say one more time that your stories are horrible I am going to force-feed you nanerpois and stick you in a disappearing hospital wing! *huggle glomp* Because I adore you that much!!! Report Review
Aw! *sobs a little* You seriously were not kidding when you said you liked to rock the angst dear! GAH! Once again it is late and I for some reason have decided that it is time to review for you, my chosen victim of the evening! *insert msn smug smilie man here* I must say I was intrigued by the Harry/Ginny tag, yup, we already sort of knew I was a shipping floozy! Okay I so want to yell your nickname! This is a serious problem, I need to go to Nickname Anonymous and do the twelve step course or something, My name is Tiffers and I have an addiction to nicknames!
Let me see here, I should probably pretend to be sane and get to the good stuff...aka the actual story! First off I think you did a beautiful job of blending the story with the lyrics, that is certainly not easy to pull off in the slightest. I definitely have to say wonderful job on creating a different type of story. I am a firm believer in Happily Ever After doesn't happen that way and that you did what you had to do to make this story stand out. I really loved that you showed how it wasn't over something lame that they ended up breaking up, it was more so that they grew apart, people change, and you did such a lovely job of showcasing that. To be perfectly honest, if Harry/Ginny don't work out in the final book, I think it will be because 1) one of them died or 2) something like this, I really don't think they would ever fall for other people, unless they grew apart.
You gave me that mournful smile and told me that you were fine. It was a lie and we both knew it. We were striving to be something that we couldn’t and it was killing both of us.
That line was really powerful in my opinion, it really stood out to me. I think it really showed the part of life when you are trying so hard to make it work, because you don't want to admit defeat, and you are slowly losing the battle. As always, from what I have read of your work, you have this beautiful grasp on reality and you make it work in your stories. You bring real life to the Harry Potter world, and it's absolutely stunning.
Another terrific story, and it's easy to see where you draw that angst inspiration when you write your posts, you obviously have a really good handle on that genre. Even if Harry/Ginny didn't work out, it's more about the way the story was written than how it ended for them, and you did a lovely job of making this story showcase that it's about more than who ends up with who. Fantastic! *huggle*Author's Response: Thank you so much, Tiff! I always love your reviews. They make me smile, though this time there was quite a large blush to go with it. You flatter me too much. My ego's going to grow as big as someone else's that we both know... Hahahaha. Thank you so much again! *huggles back* Report Review
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