Reading Reviews From Member: a_broken_smile
  
22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by a_broken_smileThe Allure of Escape: The Allure of Escape

22nd January 2008:
Kyle! My bestest, bestest friend who can't stand me right now, or so he says!

I'm sitting next to you right now in keyboarding. Hi! (btw, stein really, really hates me; she's probably glaring at me from behind her computer screen. another btw, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO AGREE WITH ME!)

Your story, in short, sux. Sux meaning, absoulutely fantasmical! I think you need a banner and a beta reader though. (*coughcoughmecoughcough*) Your story is actually funny, which surprised me. I always thought you were a no-nonsense ROTC jarhead.

Anyway, watch overuse of words, try more adjectives and descriptions, and all in all, THINK IT THROUGH! You're a silly biatch, don't be afraid to show it.

To get ahead in life, you have to be obnoxious and loud, like me! Try it some time; it really works.

Till midterms are over, bye.

-Ciara

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Review #2, by a_broken_smileAnglophobia: A Story Of A Death Eater: Veritaserum

7th October 2007:
This is really good! I just wish Belle wouldn't fall under Tom's trap. I feel kinda bad for Tyler and Augusta even though they did ignore Belle. They didn't do it intentionally. However, Lucretia, Nat, Celsus, Becky, and Tom are just pure evil. Garr...you better keep updating this fantastical story. (:


Author's Response: Tyler and Augusta really are sweet.

wicked evil. :O


thank you so much for the awesome review!!! and im writing the chapter right now. ;]


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Review #3, by a_broken_smileForever Untouched...Until Now: Of Annoying Mothers, Awful Laughter, and James Bond

10th September 2007:
Now first off: I really like this story. I was actually disappointed when I finished Chapter 2 and went on to the next, only to find that it didn't exist (yet, I hope!).

I'm basically saying what the other two ladies here were. Watch the tense, plotline, grammer, spelling, etc. Also, try varying your intros. Like instead of how you listed the characters, maybe you could have done something like:

"Humming the James Bond theme to myself, I peered in the doorway, almost certain no one would take notice. With James Potter oggling Lily Evans, Sirius Black snogging his girlfriend, and Remus Lupin reading a goddamn book, who would care if a weird, blonde girl just randomly spied on them from the window?

But alas; woe is me. Apparently Peter Pettigrew, blimp he is, was waiting eagerly for the trolley to arrive and he witnessed my manaical laughter/choke. He then, fullfilling his duty as the rat of the group, immediately notified the rest of the lot.

All eyes were on me. As suavely as I could, I backed away, shifting my gaze in an attempt at nonchalance. Unfortunately, I had not retained my James Bond reflexes and tripped over my shoelace, sending me flying to the floor with an oompf.

The compartment door opened and the gray eyes of Sirius Black peered down. He nudged me with his toe and asked, "Are you still alive?" "

And just continue with something like that. eh?

Good job with the story, I am adding to faves. Please update soon! 10/10

-Ciara

Author's Response: OMG thanks so much...that was exactly what I was looking for...you're a genius! Thanks so much!

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Review #4, by a_broken_smileCrimson Red: One: Too Soon

10th September 2007:
It's very interesting and only uno chapter? Congratulations. Will definitely be looking forward for updates. 10/10

-Ciara


Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #5, by a_broken_smileStalker: Chapter Five

9th September 2007:
I like this story a lot. It's an addicting topic that no one likes to employ. You pull it off nicely. If you really want a beta, you should choose one who has enough time in the day to read your updates and has enough discretion when suggesting ideas. I would like to volunteer, if no one else has the position yet. Keep up the good work!

-Ciara

Author's Response: I really don't know how having a beta works. If you wouldn't mind, could you tell me how? Is it through email? I'll decide who I'll pick (if I even decide to have one) after I figure out how they work. Thanks for offering, I really am considering you for the job. Thanks for the review!

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Review #6, by a_broken_smileIn His Eyes: Trust

28th July 2007:
Hi there. I hope I don't come across as rude, but you surprised me. When I first looked at the summary for the story, I was rolling my eyes and scoffing. What kind of a plotline is this? I asked myself.

Yet, I read the first chapter and then the next and then the next...until here I am, writing a review for one of the best Dr/Hr stories I have read on this site. I stumbled across an excellent story, out of mere boredom and a free Saturday.

Not only do you paint a vivid picture with your words, not over using any or confusing me, you also seem to have a sense of fashion, which I don't mind in the slightest. Some stories I've read resemble, "Hermione was wearing this, like, amazing tube top and was all, like, hott!!11 Draco tried to hide his affection but he, like, couldn't! It had, like, been there all these years!" I would cringe and immediately exit out.

But, you have achieved what I have strived for but have failed to reach: believeability. You have made your story real and not far-fetched. Whenever I read one of my own stories, I shake my head and frown, berating myself for not writing something better. I just can't seem to achieve what you have done so effortlessly.

I have added this to my favorites and have made you one of my favorite authors. Thank you for gracing this site with your fantastic story. I eagerly await more updates from you. Rate- 10/10

Regards,
Ciara


Author's Response: Wow!! *blinks* *sighs* i am seriously floored by your review. thank you, thank you, thank you :D *grinning from ear to ear*
at the risk of sounding dopey, i am honored by your flattering comments regaurding my dramione. i have tried so hard to keep this story believable. when i first stumbled across dr/hr stories i was appalled! i thought-no effing way! draco? and hermione? but i was intrigued and drawn to the complexity of these two polar opposites, two of jk's best characters: the good girl, moral and true with a heart of gold; the bad boy pompous and arragant and, in my opinion in need of redemption- who better than the lovely, pure of heart hermione to 'rescue' draco!
i feel so strongly about thses two, i wanted to see a dramione worthy of hermiones goodness (not just see her jump in bed with draco at the drop of a hat). i also wanted to see a remorseful draco who is forgiven by not only hermione but the reader as well- i feel he must earn that forgiveness in order to be a truley redeemed character and worthy of our girl, hermione (oops, am i giving too much away!!).
i still want draco to retain those qualities of cockiness and arrogance that some girls (i) love about him.
i am really please you have seen so much in my story and i am flattered beyond gratitude. only in my wildest dreams could i have hoped to recieve such praise. thank you for making me a fav author and thank you again for taking the time to submit such a lovely review! i only hope i can live up to your expectations. thank you again, Ciara!
so
p.s. so you were rolling your eyes at my summary?! lol (not rude at all) maybe i should jazz it up? suggestions welcome. i have to say, i love constructive criticism so keep that coming!


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Review #7, by a_broken_smileLove and Lies: Train Rides and Forgiveness

25th February 2007:
*mouth hangs open as I hummana in a rather ungainly way* Wow...that was...how do I say it? BLOODY AMAZING! I love how you actually built upon the characters more in this chapter and I am glad that Sirius and Kris are friends again. But I must say...Regulus Black is one hot cookie. I want to see some sibling rivalry in the next chapter! 10/10
Hasta luego me amiga!
Ciara

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Review #8, by a_broken_smileI'm Not Okay (I Promise): Chapter 1- I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

26th December 2006:
Hey! Wow, actually seeing this on HPFF instead of in my inbox makes me love it even more! I wish I knew how to make good banners, but I'll give it a whack for your sake! I bestow upon this story a 1000/10
LYL,
Ciara

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Review #9, by a_broken_smileNever Let Me Go: The End is just the Begining

9th December 2006:
This seems like a start to a really good story! I just want to give you some advice:

1. If the Lily you're talking about is Lily Evans, according to the book she had red hair and green eyes, not brown hair.

2. Hagrid wasn't in school the same time as the Marauders. In their time, he was still the gamkeeper.

3. Sirius never gave Lux his last name. He just said his first.

4. And I think it would benefit the story if you gave us more information on Lux and add more detail.

^.^ I really think this story could go far! Am awaiting next update!

-Ciara

Author's Response: Thankz alot for your review. It helped alot. I went back and fixed some things and thanks for taking the time to reveiw :)

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Review #10, by a_broken_smile16 Karat Gold: Don't Call Me Ammie!

4th December 2006:
Yes! Another lovely chapter by EmilyBlack!
Thankg god!
You better update soon! And if you cdon't have a beta and want one I'll do it! Email me at genius14@optonline.net

-Ciara
10/10

Author's Response: Thanks!! I'll e-mail you when I get the chance! Thanks for the offer and the review!!!

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Review #11, by a_broken_smile16 Karat Gold: Who's Who

25th November 2006:
This has really good potential. In just one chapter, I've figured this much.

1. The only reason Emerald hasn't gotten rid of Sapphire and Amethyst yet is because they are a 'popular group'. Meaning, if she wants to look good, she has to keep them.

2. Sappphire isn't that bad and Amethyst likes her better than Emerald.

3. Amethyst doesn't really like Remus in the way he might like her.

4. Amethyst is having second thoughts about being friends with Emerald.

5. Amethyst is my favorite character.

6. This story is going on my faves.

7. You will update soon or I will come ova there and start throwing blunt objects at you. JK!

Update soon!

-Ciara

Author's Response: Wow! I'm very flattered! Chapter 2 is awaiting validation. Thanks for reviewing...again!!

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Review #12, by a_broken_smileLove and Lies: Going Back To Hogwarts

24th November 2006:
Hey! Love the chapter! *wink* Where do you come up with these things? Just kidding, don't kill me! *ducks* Anyways, I will find someone to make you a banner! I promise! What I suggest is look at the other stories and find out who made their banners. In the meantime, I will go to the Dark Arts and see if I can't weasel one for ya.

The amazingly annoying,
Ciara

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Review #13, by a_broken_smileMy Only Wish: Chapter I

18th November 2006:
Whew, thank god. For a second I thought this was gonna be a Mary-Sue thing, but as I kept reading I noticed that you write too well to make Nikki a Mary-Sue. Thank you. Please update again!
-a_broken_smile

Author's Response: Thanks!

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Review #14, by a_broken_smileCurses: Captured in the Darkness

10th November 2006:
Wow...that was really good. I cried at the end. It's very sad, so very sad...*weeps* I love Dramione fics. DRAMIONE FOREVER! Great job!
-Ciara

Author's Response: Hehe thanks Ciara! Yes, Dramione forever! Haha

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Review #15, by a_broken_smileMy Happy Ending: My Happy Ending

8th November 2006:
I loved it! It was so sad though, Crissy. WHY? WHY MUST IT BE SAD? *sobs hysterically* *Crissy pats Ciara's back awkwardly* 10/10

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Review #16, by a_broken_smileConfessions of a Walking Disaster: Now Black Gets Thrown Into The Picture!

3rd November 2006:
I love it! I sugggest you get a banner though. Good advertising! *wink* Go to the forums to find some banner makers!

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Review #17, by a_broken_smileDeal: Chapter One

23rd September 2006:
I like it! Tell more about Eden, she seems interesting... Please update soon!! @_@

Author's Response: hehehe
thank you and I will try


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Review #18, by a_broken_smileLove and Lies: Meeting Jake

19th September 2006:
HEYYYY! Great job! Can't wait till they get to Hogwarts!
Amazing!

-Ciara

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Review #19, by a_broken_smileLove and Lies: Lily and Letters from Old Friends...

24th August 2006:
Hey Crissy! Ciara here! Keep up the great work!! Love the story ^___^

Author's Response: Hola Ciara! Aw thanks......Of course, it wouldn't be as great without you my wonderful BETA! *Smiles* Thanks again!

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Review #20, by a_broken_smileThe Enigma Of Miss Miller: Think You'll Figure Me Out Tonight?

24th August 2006:
I loved it. My favorite line : "I have a Sirius Black, and I'm not afraid to use it!" Oh my god, this is going on my favorites!! I was laughing so hard I fell off my chair! Thank you! I needed a laugh! This is a great story, please update soon!!!

-Ciara a_broken_smile

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Review #21, by a_broken_smile10,000 Days: 10,000 Days

11th August 2006:
Your stories always make me cry hysterically. They are so beautiful and tragically broken. Thank you. Your are the best sad one-shot writer on HPFF. Thank you for your sad but beautiful stories.

Author's Response: Blimey, that's extremely flattering - thank you very much :), I'm extremely flattered they made you cry (and I mean that in the nicest way possible!)

Thanks again for your lovely comments,

Ten_Thousand_Days


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Review #22, by a_broken_smileRoses for the Dead: Roses for the Dead

11th August 2006:
You should put a Kleenex warning on this. I cried so hard. It feels like I actually knew the characters. You see I'm a big fan of the Marauders and HP and whenever someone dies, I feel like my world came crashing down. Thank you for this lovely piece of fan fiction. I'm still crying it was so sad....Thank you.

Author's Response: Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed the story (if that's the right expression!).

As for thanking me, you're very welcome - I love writing these!

Ten_Thousand_Days


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