Wonderful!! :) I hope you had a good holiday. Your writing has improved quite a bit since I last read your stories (which was some time ago, sorry!), and the grammar and spelling are much better now.Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review! It's so great to hear that I've improved - it really means more than I can say :) Report Review
Powerful, moving, (I know I keep saying this) brilliant. It's very strange to see this soft side of Sirius, but it's a good kind of strange--that even Sirius has his weaknesses. :')
angelchaser13Author's Response: Thank you very much. :D Yeah, it is a little different, but everyone has a softer side, even if they don't like to admit it. I think that Sirius's family brings out his more sensitive side...in that he tries to pretend he isn't hurt by them and that he doesn't care about them, but he really does a little bit.
Thank you very much. :) Report Review
Other than a few grammatical errors--such as "What did you fail at Alecto?", which should have a comma after the word "at"--that I believe you should glance over this story again and correct, this was another fantastic story of yours. I really like your work--and as I've said in other reviews, your characterizations are brilliantly done. Alecto was one character I had never expected to have a wholly human side, so you portrayed her differently, but wonderfully differently. She was captivating to read, and Amycus was excellent also.
Another concern I have is that I believe the chapter is a bit too long. It's got a wonderful ending, but it seems that you compacted far too much into it. I would suggest putting breaks in between events, as well as dates, if you want to do the math.
Again, a compelling story.
angelchaser13Author's Response: Bah, I'm not the greatest at grammar. I'm just a writer. Haha. I just never am able to see the errors when I self edit. More concerned with the plot I suppose. Anyway, like I've said before, I think everyone has a human side. Everyone has a mask they hide behind. Sometimes that mask is violence and evil because they don't want to show weakness. That's how I view Alecto and Amycus.
As for the length...I wrote this piece for a challenge on the forums that required me to write the biography of a death eater in a one-shot. And I figured since Amycus was narrating this, he wouldn't know the exact dates of everything. I wanted it to have more of a long story type of feel...like one of those ones that your grandpa makes you sit for hours and listen to. I appreciate your input though. Thank you for the suggestions.
Once again, thank you for a lovely review. :) Report Review
All I can say is: "brilliant". I read your story about the Black sisters' husbands, and I was instantly captivated. Your characterizations are magnificent, and Ariana is one of your most vivid. You make her so...for lack of a better word...real, more than the "mad" person she was seen as in 'Deathly Hallows'. Her relationship with Aberforth is perfect.
Her introduction to Grindelwald (just that glimpse) provided an interesting plotline: so much, in fact, that I said to myself, "Come on, there's got to be another chapter!" :)
The only slight mistake I could find (I am an editor for my high school newspaper, so I look for errors) was one of context, of little importance and sort of embarrassing to write, but it stuck out at me.
It seems that when J.K. Rowling describes "poop", as you used it, she uses the word "dung". Instead of "goat poop", as you have Aberforth saying, it should be "goat dung".
But other than that *tiny* little thing, the story is superb and I can't wait until the next chapter! Please post it soon. :)
angelchaser13Author's Response: Wow! Thank you very, very much! I'm so thrilled that you liked the idea for this story and also Ariana's characterization. If you read anything else by me, you'll probably start to notice that I like to dig deeper beneath some characters and find their humanity. To me, even if a person is mad, they are still human, and still have human emotions. That's what I'm going for with Ariana. But her madness will show a little more at times than others. :)
I'm glad you liked the introduction to Grindelwald, he's an interesting guy. *feels guilty at the lack of another chapter*
Haha, I can see why that's a little embarassing. Yeah, though, you are right, it should. I'll fix that.
Thank you for the lovely review hun. It inspired me to get working on this story again...its halfway done right now and should hopefully be done soon. :) Report Review
Wow...One of the best fan fiction stories I've read yet, in my 3 years of being a member here. This was completely, amazingly brilliant! To tell you the truth, it reminds me of my writing style, although I never thought of this fascinating of a plotline. Excellent work! :)
angelchaser13Author's Response: Wow! Really? *dies* Thank you so much! I'm absolutely thrilled that you think so highly of this piece. It was just something that came to me and the style is a bit out in left field for me...I'm ususally particularly loquacious when I write. Chapters average about 4,000 words for me. Heh. Anyway, again, thank you so so much! :D It really means alot to me. Report Review
Brilliant! :) This reminds me of my thoughts about the last guy I liked.I had the same feelings.Author's Response: I wrote the story about a guy I liked and it snowballed into my manifesto. Ta da! Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Other than the fact that this chapter is just a tiny bit too long, it was brilliant :) I especially love Lily--it's nice to see her temper be released full-force. Keep up the good work!
angelchaser13Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's a oneshot, so I don't think I could've made it any shorter . . . I'm glad you liked temperamental!Lily - she certainly wasn't having a good day, was she? Report Review
Amazing! :) No grammatical errors :) You've definitely improved.
PS--new stories of mine up! :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! It's so great to hear that :) Report Review
Aw, you shouldn't have made them break up! *sniffles* But this was wicked amazing, as usual. Your best chapter yet, padme_alejandra!Author's Response: I feel like any other ending wouldn't have worked with Marius' history - how could someone who was never loved as a child be able to love someone else, you know? But thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the read and review! Report Review
There are some grammatical errors, and this is slightly too long--or too much info packed into too few paragraphs--but it's a good start =)
PS--new stories up of mine if you're interested =)Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for reviewing!!! I know there are a lot of gramatical errors, I'm really sorry!! I'm really bad at that stuff, sorry!! I'm glad you think it's a good start though!! :) Thanks for letting me know about your stories, I'll go and look at them right now!! :) Again thank you so much for reviewing!! :D Report Review
Oh.*sniffles* Tragically sad but terribly good.Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! :) Report Review
A wonderful beginning to a story, but you do have some decently-sized grammatical errors. Report Review
Oh, this is extraordinary...it's one thing to WRITE a story, but another to TELL it. You succeed on both counts.
Words that crossed my mind while reading this:
Tender. Beautiful. Moving. Sweet. And of course sad, because I loved Remus and Tonks and thought they'd be the last people to be killed off.
angelchaser13 Report Review
Au contraire, my fellow writer; it's quite amusing. I love how Lily argues with herself; it reminds me of Harry in HBP when he's trying to convince himself Ginny is like his sister ;-D.
The apple-stem twisting was a wonderful element to the story! I've done it myself loads of times :-)
Grammar-wise, the story had a few tiny errors, but overall it was quite good. Plot-wise, as I said, it was sweetly funny. I like it when you write in this genre. I enjoyed the story very much.
PS--'At the Beginning' has one new chapter up, and another in Waiting mode! And I hope you feel better! :-DAuthor's Response: Thank you!! It's so great to hear that :) I've also done the apple-stem twisting trick and when doing it once I was inspired to write this.
I also really enjoy writing in this lighter, humorous genre. I've always thought of myself as more of a 'darker' writer up until recently, when I started writing my new fic "Sunrise" that's a lot lighter than my norm. It's refreshing to get away from the dark and twisty fics XD
Thank you!! Your reviews mean so much to me!!! Report Review
Aw, this is so sweet! It shows a different side of the Lily/James relationship--instead of the constant rowing, it's just two people utterly, completely, totally in love. Great work!!!
P.S. I'm sorry I haven't gotten a chance to do this lately, but I just wanted to thank you for the amazing reviews you've been leaving for AT THE BEGINNING. They really make my day! So thanks so much!!!Author's Response: Thanks so much, I'm really glad you enjoyed it! :)
And I fully intend to catch up on all the chapters once things settle down a bit! I've missed reading it :) Report Review
Aww, this is the best chapter of BLASTED yet! I love Cedrella, and Septimus is so much like JKR's Weasley boys that it made me laugh. Excellent work!Author's Response: Thanks so much! Your review made me smile :) It's so great to hear that Septimus is reminiscent of the Weasley boys. It means so much!
I'm very happy to hear that this was your favourite chapter ^_^ I was extremely nervous about it, it being way longer and written in a different narrative style than previous installments.
Thanks for your lovely review! Report Review
Hmmm...very good, in terms of plot. Quite a few grammatical errors. You skip from flashback to present a bit too much, and too quickly...there has to be some indication when is when.
The action escalates awkwardly, to be honest. Voldemort is well-written, but the tension, the slight fear, isn't entirely there. It is touching to see how much Amelia adores her niece, but I think you need a bit more background information instead of just flashback after flashback. To improve the flow from present to past, why don't you put the past scenes in italics? It would be easier for people to read...
As for Amelia herself, she seems rather flat at times. Her courage is inspiring, but it appears somewhat fake in certain spots.
Another thing...you use the word "woman" far too often in the beginning present-scene. It's confusing--is this Amelia, or is it Bellatrix?
I'm terribly sorry if I am being harsh, but I should think that if you correct the mistakes, then your story will be far better. You have a magnificent plot-line; it just needs pruned.
angelchaser13Author's Response: It's not harsh at all---anything to help me improve as a writer is greatly appreciated! I am definitly going to be a beta for the story to help with everything and making this story better. Report Review
This is my favorite chapter so far! Bellatrix...her temper is described wonderfully, and it made me laugh, although it is also an early indication of her adult self. She is brilliantly written and your descriptions--the scenes particularly--are as well.
I do like how you portray Rodolphus throughout the story--he is the antagonist (the foil to Bella) in several ways, but also the one true man for her. Excellent work; keep it up!
(And thanks so much for the inclusion of my name in your Author's Notes! Your reviews make MY day too!)
Very best wishes,
P.S.: I have new chapters of my Fabian Prewett/Faye Black story up, if you are interested in reading more of it.Author's Response: Thanks so much. I think this might be my favourite so far, too, though the next chapter will probably override this one ^_^ I\'m glad to hear that you like both Bella and Rodolphus, as well as my descriptions. You flatter me too much!
Isn\'t he though? I like to think of him that way, too; her balance, the one who keeps her sane.
It\'s no trouble at all! I need to thank my reviewers in some way other than these responses. I like to review for those who review me, though sometimes I run out of time. So into my A/N you all go! ^_^
I checked it out. So awesome! :)
Thanks again for the review!! Report Review
Oh...I'm in complete shock and amazement...this is amazing, truly wonderful. *sniffles* Excellent. I'm going to go cry now. Report Review
Again, brilliant. You turned Bellatrix into Bella in one amazingly well-written swoop--and the smouldering sexual tension between Bella and Rodolphus is extraordinary. Excellent work! Please continue!!Author's Response: Wow, thanks:D Your reviews were so nice to come home to after a torturous day at school!
And expect that sexual tension to escalate ;) Report Review
Oh my God, this is bloody AMAZING. Please post more chapters soon!Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it ^_^ Chapter 3 is coming along slowly (thanks to extremely large piles of school work - blah) but hopefully I'll have it posted by Sunday. Hopefully. Report Review
Your Alphard reminds me very much of Sirius. I like how you portrayed him--sarcastic, bitter, but humorous as well. Keep it up.
PS--great banner, by the way...where did you get it???Author's Response: Thanks so much! That's exactly what I wanted to communicate about Alphard, so quite happy it worked out! ^_^
I made it, actually. I make graphics over at TDA under the username italian bella. Thanks for the compliment! Report Review
Amazing--quite simply amazing. Blimey...well-written, passionate, angst-y. Brilliant. Excellent work!
PS--you should try Andromeda. I'd be quite interested in what you write about her.Author's Response: *blushes* Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D
Yep, I'm doing all of the Blacks who've been blasted, so I will get to her eventually! Not in the next two, though. Perhaps the one after that :) Report Review
Excellent work, mascarableeds! Wonderfully written...please continue! I haven't any critique now--your spelling and grammar are perfect.
P.S. New chapters for "At the Beginning" up!Author's Response: Thank you! :-D Report Review
Brilliant! Amazing! Sad-but-happy at the same time! Magnificent! GOOD WORK!
angelchaser13Author's Response: Thank you very much! Report Review
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