Quite well written. A few typos here and there, but nothing major.Author's Response: Thanks, I plan to go through and edit better later. Report Review
So far so good! I look forward to continuing to read this!Author's Response: Thanks Report Review
Ooh! This looks really good! (I wanted to read the story before I worked too much further on the banner to make sure that I have the right feel...) I'm adding this to my favorites because it does look fantastic.
8/10. A spelling error here or there (ex: Dark Lord should be capitalized in the third to last paragraph) but overally pretty good. Not many Regulus fics are out there. Glad to see that people still write them.
xxCornieAuthor's Response: mmm, yes, i'll have to work on some things- but considering i didn't give this chap. a good edit, i'm surprised more people haven't commented on it! Glad you liked it! Report Review
GOOD GOD YOU'RE A DAMNED GOOD WRITER!
Sorry about that...sudden outburst. =D
That first paragraph literally made me say, "Wow." Just that alone put it in my favorites. I think I was nearly on the brink of tears by the end of the third paragraph (and it's INCREDIBLY hard to do that...like seriously. I didn't even cry when Dumbledore died...). The emotions are so incredibly realistic and amazing. Just wow.
I totally meant to write this as I was reading, but your writing is so phoenomenal that I seriously can't stop. I'm SO glad you wrote a sequel! And that it had a happy ending! It was pure beauty. Gorgeous. The writing and the imagery worked miracles that I wish I could create. I'll be coming back to read this 2 part series time after time and reccomending it again and again. It's better than Bad World, if that's even possible. While Bad World had the true message of how acceptance is really neccessary to the world, this one had the content to express it. The emotions in this one really captured my heart.
I'm running out of words to express how wonderful this is (I'm guessing it's partially because I'm speechless). Just...Wow.
Another infinity/10 but since that's not possible I'll just have to give you 10/10
xxCornieAuthor's Response: aww Cornie - Thank you so much hun!! i'm so pleased you liked this! You are spot on - Bad world was about acceptance, but this was different. this was more about truth i guess. Thank you for your beautiful comments! And your wonderful rating :)! YOu're too kind!!
xxMaji Report Review
Maji, I love your writing!
I've never read a Hermione/Blaise fic before (I generally avoid Hogwarts Era Hermione fics at all costs) but I was pleasantly surprised with this one! You know I'm a Blaise fan. He's always been such a cryptic character. Not much is known about him at all! I love how he's in so many of your fics...
I'll just finish it off here because I MUST go read your sequel to Bad World and that's desperately calling my name. So GREAT JOB and YES! It does make sense!
xxCornieAuthor's Response: hey hunny! Thanks for reading Cornie! I love Blaise. I love making him whatever I want (he's actually the villian in my novel...I'm not sure how that happened...). I have fallen in love with this ship, thanks to scarletheartedlioness' brilliant fic. It just works so well. I think I said it before somewhere - Blaise is the new Draco!
thanks again darl!!
xx Report Review
Wow...that opening quote was pretty powerful. Not sure why, but it really caught my attention...
Beautifully written, even if I got a bit confused. I'm sure that if I was reading this at a decent time that it would make more sense, but at 3:00 am, yeeeah...not so much. The writing is great though! Hahaha. No, seriously, I love the concept. No matter how abstract it is. The yellow death is some symbolism that I'm right now trying to bang into my head and it's not quite working...Perhaps I'll re-review another day when I've read this clearer.
The writing is phoenomenal though. I love it. 10/10
xxCornieAuthor's Response: Cornie!!!
I'm so glad you liked it!
The Yellow Death has actually no symbolism and is just some abstract kind of cloudy thing that just popped into my head. I actually had a Romeo&Juliet kind of thing going on here, with them both dying...la di da.
Kali Report Review
Ah...The Remmy/Hermy romance begins!
Hahaha...Great chapter. I loved the Moon Room! I want one of those in my house! Except with a real bed. That'd be awesome!
The drunken idea was quite humorous...LOVED IT! For some reason, I just can't see Hermy getting completely smashed. I can see Remus doing so as a teenager, but Hermione? NEVAAA!!! (Twould be funny though if she did get completely drunk in a later chapter...goodbye inhibitions!)
Luffly chap! 9/10
xxCornieAuthor's Response: Thanks for the awsome review...yet again! I'll have to give thought to a Drunken Hermione lol... I'm glad you like that part of the chapter though... I laughed as I was writeing it lol.. *hugs* Report Review
Hmm, some spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors I see...A Beta could straighten this out, along with writing the chapter in MS Word. Works marvelously.
Also, the action moved a little too fast for my taste. Yes, I like the stories to keep moving, but in one sentence, she got the letter, in the next, she was preparing to jump out the window. Add in some description to lengthen the chapters and slow things down a little bit. The other delicate nuances of writing fanfiction will come with time.
The time of day was also quite confusing. First she was dreaming, then she got the letter, then James is saying, "After last night," with no definition of when the time changed.
Practice makes perfect though! You'll be fantastique in no time!
P.S.: Spare a review on my chaptered fic?Author's Response: AH, yes i hope to get it beta'd ASAP!
O...sorry, O okay, if i do a rewrite ill consider everything you said.
Hm..............it was a tad confusing? maybe i should go and try and fix it.
Thanks, I hope so too
Lilypotter16 Report Review
Hehe...GREAT START luvie! Love the banner! (hahahaha...no seriously, I do! XD). The writing is quite awesomeum and I love the characterization! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Some tips from your beloved friend (You prolly know these already):
1) ALWAYS write your chapter in MS Word. Not only will it tell you if there are spelling mistakes, but it will save it automatically...or it should...if something goes awry.
2) Begin writing the next chapter as soon as one is submitted, if not earlier. It's better to have a stack of chapters waiting to be validated than to be struggling to update. But don't do this if you've got a TON of homework and you're procrastinating (shame on me)
3) Don't be afraid to ask for reviews! Oftentimes, these authors wil enjoy reading and may even favorite the story!
4) MAKE AN OUTLINE! I don't really know how much I can express this. For any chaptered fic that I work on now, I ALWAYS keep an outline going alongside, telling me what chapter and the basics of what will happen in that chapter. It's a good way to keep your story organized, and it will keep you motivated to find that big climax part in the fic. That way, you'll look forward to writing that scene and you'll stay motivated.
5) If you're on the forums, put a link to your author's page in your signature! You never know who will stumble across it.
6) If you tend to lose focus on a fic, only work on one at a time, unless you're writing one-shots inbetween for a break. I guess this is why I've only got 2 fics on my Author's Page. I can't really multitask when it comes to writing so I put all my heart and soul into one fic at a time.
xxCornieAuthor's Response: haha.. i haven't replied to you yet, cornie! my bad. thanks for all the advice! love ya girl! Report Review
Beautiful piece Kira. Absolutely beautiful. I nearly started crying as I read this (and trust me, that's near impossible to do...get me to cry that is...). Definitely going into my favorites. I've never read a fic with Sirius in Azkaban before and the principle of this one was so touching, it was just a ...wow... moment.
P.S.: I'm not sure if you remember my fic, Protector of the Crown, but I've been updating it rather steadily! It's in your favorites I know! I just saw it there! I'm not sure if you've been reading (I can't quite tell...) but the last chapter you reviewed was chapter 3. There are 6 chapters currently and the 7th one will be going in for validation this week! Your Reviews used to make my day go all bright and shiny. I've missed them.Author's Response: Well I'm so glad. This piece hold a special place in my heart. I really like it so its nice to hear that someone else does too. Thanks for the rating and the addition to your favorites. I do indeed remember your story. I love it lots but have just been so viciously busy. Don't worry, I will come back and read it. Just gotta get through a little more school; then finally I shall be able to give your awesome story the time it deserves! Report Review
I've just got one question. How do you do it? I don't think I could make that many spelling mistakes if I tried! This is absolutely hilarious! You keep staying in the same tense though...and the sentence structure still varies too much to be the World's Worst Fic. Hmm...what else could make it worse...Most of the capitalization is correct as well...perhaps use the same word 5 or 6 times in a short paragraph?
XD...still laughing out loud
xxCornieAuthor's Response: I'll try and keep that in mind. :D MUST MAKE FIC WORSE!!! (lol.funny to type that.) Report Review
Oh, wow! I'm loving this! I love how you were able to capture Lily's personality and bring it to the Caribbean! Lily's reasons for not marrying Malfoy fit so well with her personality and ah! I love this! Another thing that could contribute to accusations of Witchcraft (If you wish to take this path) is her Red Hair...I'm pretty sure that redheads were more accused of witchcraft...if you're going to use that, I'd reccomend checking on that though.
I meant to review as I was reading through, but it was too good and I rushed through to the end. WOWWIE! I'll probably add more to this after a second read through in a PM to you, but for now, I must go
P.S.: If I were you, I'd place some credit to Disney because the beginning few paragraphs seem a lot like POTC and I don't want you to get sued! I like this too much for it to be deleted. Author's Response: Actually, the whole witchcraft thing isn't a big part of this fic, but thanks for the suggestion! Good idea about the Disney thing...after all they were the inspiration behind the whole Pirates/Caribbean deal. Thanks for reviewing!
P.S. I promise I'll check out Protector of the Crown....I've just been so busy! Report Review
AH! So sad! But the writing is great. Just plain great. I love the heart and soul put into this and the description is fantastic. Just enough to immortalize the characters, but not so much as to completely overrun the fic with fluff! I also find the fact that you were able to take a minor character and turn them into a major player to be wonderful!
xxCornieAuthor's Response: Thanks so much. That's what's great about the short fics! And I did have a reader suggest I take a shot at another Dorcas fic, but I said no. But now I'm reconsidering. Thanks again! Report Review
So sad! Lovely writing though!
I spotted a few spelling errors...little things like that catch my eye and lower the quality of a luffly fic like this. There was also some repetative phrasing which also lowered the status. Nothing a proofread or a Beta wouldn't catch.
Great job overall though! 8/10
xxCornieAuthor's Response: Thanks alot for the review, its much appreciated. And i'm glad you liked it. Report Review
Vampy vampy vampy vampy vampy vampy...hahaha...can you tell that I like vampire writing? Hehehe.
The description is really awesome and although the time period is slightly confusing to me, I still love this.
A 10/10 because the writing and description is phonomenal and it's so hard to capture the readers attention in this short of a fic and I really would LOVE to see you take this further! Perhaps an entire fanfic on vampires? There's so few out there...
xxCornieAuthor's Response: Aw thanks Cornie! My favorite Tudor writer! It's actually supposed to be short, it was written for the World's Shortest fic challenge (less than 600, more than 500, mine is 501 YES). Hm...a full-length fic. Have to think about that. If you like vampire writing, I suggest Vampire Project (I forgot who wrote it). It's fantastic. :)
Thanks so much! Report Review
I was about to send you a message, begging you to update and when I looked at my favorites, there was a new chapter! WONDERFUL! Hehehe.
I love the way you write your characters. All quite believable, still keeping with canon, yet twisting and turning them to fit your plot. Fantastic! The dream at the beginning was a little confusing but still, a scary, chaotic dream sequence works with this story.
xxCornieAuthor's Response: Ha Ha I love it when that happens!! ^_- It's hard work getting Draco to be as he is.. I must admit. I labor over him more than any other character. Its hard to make a Draco that cannon and fannon supporters will like. phewie. Report Review
Quite quite the funny fic! Great job!
I was laughing out loud...literally...Fantastic job!
10/10 for humor!Author's Response: Hehehehe, it was sooooo fun to write! Thank you thank you thank you!!! Yay, you've made my day! Report Review
Wow. Absolutely wow. I think this and Curious Attraction may have turned me into a Draco/Blaise shipper, the writings are so powerful and amazing. This one...just wow. I'm pretty darn speechless. A-m-a-z-i-n-g. As the "bra-burning hippie" that my friends call me sometimes, I love the true love that slash fics show. They always seem to be more romantic than non-slash fics.
The writing of Blaise is phoenomenal. The internal struggle is real and there, and the yearning of the heart is so well written, again, wow. I'm basically speechless.
And Draco, unable to accept who he really is. I have a very good friend who is convinced that he's straight when everyone else can see that his homophobia is preventing him from loving who he wants. It's great to see this in such a fantastic fic.
I'm putting this in my favorites, not just because I love the fic, but to spread the word and to spread the acceptance of homosexuality.
Again. Wow. I'd rate this infinity/10 if it was available but since that isn't going to work, you get a definite 10/10.
P.S.: If you have any time in your schedule, would you mind reviewing my Novella, "Protector of the Crown?" There's some slight slash alluded to in the chapter that's waiting in the queue, and it's all seen in a positive light. Well, as positive as the time period would allow...the writing is more symbolic to allow the reader to see as deep into the relationship between the two men as they wish.Author's Response: hey Cornie! thanks for your fabulous review darl, and of course i shall take a look at your fic! I'm so pleased you like this! you're making me blush with your flattery! yeah, Curious Attraction is awesome! Dracana prompted me to write this ship, and it was an amazing experience to write slash. i have actually done a sequel, so keep an eye out for that one.
oh thats too bad about your friend - its terrible that society condemns, and even more so that individuals condemn themselves based on fears. i hope they get through it.
this is the first time i have written Blaise as a main character, and i adore him! he's actually the bad guy in my novel, but i like him this way more :)
thanks again hun!
xx Report Review
I love how you thought so deeply about the transformation and what it really feels like to them. I already said that I love RL/HG fics and this is now in my favorites...waiting to see when you update!
Great, great job. Definitely worth a 10/10 but since the ratings don't go up to 11, I'll just have to give you a 9/10 so that when there's a completely flawless chapter, I can do that. =D
I know. I'm mean. But I love this fic and my 10/10s on chaptered fics are incredibly rare.
xxCornieAuthor's Response: Lol...well thank you anyways... I appriciate the 9/10 lol. As I say in my profile...I hated english in school... was surprised at myself when I wanted to start writeing fan fic... You can thank my Beta Su that its worth 9/10 LMAO. *hugs* and thanks again for the reveiw. Update is already in the q! Report Review
I'm a big RL/HG fan and I'm looking forward to reading this! Moody's awesome, along with Remus and I can tell this is shaping up to be a fantastique fic! I'm cutting this review short because I want to continue reading!
9/10 just because I'm mean. =D
P.S.: Sparest thou a review on my novella when you have time?Author's Response: Thank you... I'm glad there are a few fellow 'rl/hg' fans out there like me lol. I'm really excited about this fic...so I hope it does my imagination justice lol. Thanks for the reveiw! *hugs* (will read/reveiw your novella this week sometime...promise) Report Review
FINALLY! A DECENT OLIVER WOOD FIC! Hahaha. They're so hard to find! Gotta love Oliver!
I spotted a few spelling errors (namely with the "conceited" text) and the bolded dialogue kind of bugs me. But the plot is lovely and just because it's an Oliver Wood fic, you get a 9/10!
Hahaha. Can't wait to keep reading!Author's Response: who doesnt love oliver
well thank you so much for telling me that. i will fix it asap. yeah i stopped the bold after a few chapters.sorry :[
thanks so much.you just made my day by complimenting my story
:D Report Review
What an amazing fanfic. I've never seen a Barty/Reggie fic before and this one is certainly magnificent. The writing style is amazing and there were no outstanding mistakes that I saw. Great job. It's always funny I find...slash fics seem to be more romantic than straight fics. This is romantic, and yet still has the horror/dark component that is one of my favorites in fanfic.
xxCornieAuthor's Response: Hey there Cornie. Why thank you!! I've never read any Reg/Bartie before, so I thought I'd write one before they influenced my mind. :-)
Oh yes, that's because in slash, the characters have to get through prejudice and stuff like that, and if they are willing to go through all that emotional pain, then its certainly love that they are feeling.
Thanks so much for reviewing. Report Review
Happy 1000th Review for the story and 100th for this chapter!
Another fantastic one! *cuts review short to go read next chapter*
xxCornieAuthor's Response: OMG -dies- You're number 1000 -glomps- Report Review
First of all, let it be known that I am a Dramione hater. It's just so uncanon that I can't possibly imagine it and so much is badly written. Second of all, let me say this. WOW! GREAT JOB!!! I think this is the FIRST Dramione that I'll read and keep tabs on. I did competitive dance for 10 years and I think that this plot is absolutely AMAZING! I'm a huge fan of anything (or almost anything well written) having to do with dance and the idea of a ball is getting quite overdone but the idea of a dance class has never been done that I know of! FANTASTIQUE! Definite 10/10 for this chapter!
xxCornieAuthor's Response: Aw yay, I love having anti-shippers ^_^ I'm honored to be your first Dramione favorite ^_- Thanks so much Cornie Report Review
Pretty good...there was a lot of repetition in the writing which really emphasizes the fact that they had only that short amount of contact, and then gone forevermore.
9/10 just because I'm not thirsting for more, even though you did an excellent job!
xxCornieAuthor's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'll take a 9 ;D Yeah, I think it emphasizes the time of contact and how even little choices like walking down a road at that very second (out of 86,400 seconds in a full day) will change your life. One second and everything can go wrong or the chance of a lifetime can slip by. I like to think that's a nifty thing to think on. Report Review
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