Definitely pretty excited for Falling to Pieces - there's something very captivating/magnetic about your writing style/plot lines. It's a nice place to end off this one, for sure. Definitely preferable over a big cliffie ;)
When Dee & Ray had that kiss and he heard something - was it Sirius? :O
Will keep an eye out for Falling to Pieces, hopefully it's soon :) Keep up the awesome work!Author's Response: Thanks you! I look forward to hearing what you think of it, I'm pretty excited too! Thanks for your lovely comments, so happy that you like my writing style, it's prob changed a lot since the beginning! Report Review
Ooh, definitely a great start, this has a ton of potential to go in a really interesting direction. Wonderful so far, can't wait to see how this progresses! :)Author's Response: thank you, glad you like it and i hope you keep reading! Report Review
Oooh yay, an update! Updates of Fall for Anything always cheer me up :) And even better pick of date too, happy new year! 2010 already, wow.
Anyway - brilliant chapter, I thought it was thoroughly enjoyable. Really liked the friendship between Ray and Debbie, how it was portrayed as so easygoing and exactly what Dee needs right now. And it was great to see the interactions between the Quinns too, of course, as they do seem to be very fun.
A sequel - YES! It's going to be epic, I know it already. Falling to Pieces is such a beautiful companion title, it fits very well with this one. It'll be interesting to see the prologue from Sirius's perspective, for sure.
You're right, this chapter was missing Sirius. But at the same time, it's like keeping that fragile balance of not overloading with Sirius, and plot-wise, it worked as character development for Dee, so that's great. And I love how you've portrayed Dee as a strong female.
Definitely looking forward to the last chapter & the sequel, really excited :)Author's Response: Happy New Year to you too! I'm s glad you liked the chapter, it was just like a pretty easy-reading one but with lots of important stuff bunged in! An great to hear you're looking forward to the sequel, especially the title. It's weird it was so easy to just pick any old title for this story, but the title of the sequel seemed a lot more important in my mind... odd! Anyway thanks so much or reviewing, I hope you keep reading! Report Review
Oooh, eek! I really like this, it's short and sweet, very adorable. The emotions were portrayed very well, and the tone was very consistent throughout the story. In fact - why is it only a one-shot?! It would be so awesome if you continued it ;) *wink wink nudge?
The way you characterized both of them - very well done. There's so much potential here for the story to grow and turn into a novel(la). Very cute plot, the misunderstanding was a nice touch. The relationship you've conveyed here between Teddy & Dom - ow ow, the sparks are flying!
Brilliantly done.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really flattered you like it, thank you! Actually, I have a Teddy/Dominique novella coming along, so yeah :) I don't know how I would actually develop *this* one-shot into a novella (though if you do, please PM me at the forums, I'm interested now, lol), but there is one coming with a vaugely similar theme and characterisations. Thank you for the awesome review, I'm really glad you liked the story! Report Review
Awww - oh no! What a way to conclude the chapter ;) A different sort of cliffhanger, I suppose. Silly Sirius; he should've just spat it out, instead of prolonging the agony. Oh dear, hope she's okay. What timing too! Haha, great for comic relief though, that's for sure. Did they tell, though? That's what i want to know. And which will hopefully be revealed in the next chapter. Which will hopefully be updated really soon, yeah?
As for this one though - gosh, I love it when you update! Because your chapters are always chockfull of such fun! The overprotective boys are funny; are we going to keep seeing more of Ray? It's hilarious, seeing Sirius jealous like that. And it does tend to stir up some drama. Londy's awesome - very persistant, I must say.
Really interested to see the aftermath of how Lily & James will take the news! Haha at the Slughorn scene and the potion. You've really got something awesome going with this story; the characterization, the vein of humour, the plotting... such brilliance. Definitely looking forward to more!Author's Response: I\\\'m sorry for the way it ended... really! But I couldn\\\'t give it all to you at once, the agreeing to tell and then actually telling now could I? Well I thought it would be a bit much anyway, after about five chapters of Dee refusing anyhoo :) But yes indeed, I guess many people will be awaiting the next chap for that reason!
Thanks for your review, it\\\'s good to hear all the things you liked about the chapter, really lets me know which parts to keep up or drop and how to develop the story further! Report Review
Whew - quite a hefty chapter this time 'round! That's good though, it was nice to have something substantial to read. Hope your exams and whatever deadline work you had went well! Don't' worry, the sheer length of this baby more than makes up for it ;)
Anyway - I really liked the Sirius/Dee banter going on. At this point, I don't think the argument between Sirius and Dee and keeping it on the down-low is getting old yet; I mean, by the sounds of it, it hasn't been brought up in a while. And it logically flows with Sirius's character; at this point in time, it's a nice recurrent theme.
“I’m embarrassed of your eating habits. And your dancing. But of you? No.”
So many amusing lines in their banter! (I'm not going to copy and paste all of the great ones in this review, don't worry) Quite a few chuckles, so keep it up. They're really cute together.
And Londy! Boy, oh boy, Londy! Now, she's one hilarious girl. Her accusatory tone and everything... hehe, very well done in terms of stress relief. It was fun. Are we going to see more of Lily next chapter?
Now, my memory might just be a little sketchy as it's been a while, but just to clarify - their dad is in an alcohol rehab place, basically, or like... prison? And I gather he's a Muggle, right?
Don't worry too much about their scene (the Dee-Dad-Freddie one); their interaction was portrayed pretty well. The drastic mood change... I think it works fine in this context really. The emotion was conveyed nicely. I would imagine that something that emotionally intense was kind of taxing to write, so well done!
And wow - what a way to end off the chapter as well! He really doesn't remember hurting her... This a pretty tough situation, because really, how do you come back from that and give a second chance? Quite the predicament.
Anyway - beautifully done, as usual. Will we be having the pleasure of another chapter before the temporary queue closure? (Or are you already a Trusted Author?) Anyway, here's to hoping ...
=)Author's Response: wow! amazing review! this is the sort of thing i look forward to reading! i'm so glad you like it and everything seems to be coming across as i meant it to, always a plus!
yes, i wanted to introduce londy more in this chapter because i didnt want it to be one of those stories where its like 'oh yes shes one of my best friends' and then you never hear of them again, and londy is really a key character. there will be more lily in the next couple of chapters, she and james will hopefuly become a little more prominent, i realise there was very little in this one!
right about their dad, my thinking was that he was in prison, basically for both neglecting the kids and for the manslaughter of the mother, and i do know that this could be true (law student!), gross negligence manslaughter can be by an omission to act where theres a duty of care, here a husband has a duty of care to his wife and he's breached it, therefore prison! not too sure about my time scales, thats the onlt thing!
but anyway, thanks again for your amazing review, i'll get the next chapter up asap but still needs fixing up, i really want to get a chapter out that im completely happy with but it never seems to happen! Report Review
Aww... that was really sad. But at the same time, the writing was beautiful. Such raw emotion. I really like your descriptions as well!
Calliope's a really nice name. I guess as to whether to leave this as a one-shot or continue with Calliope in a novella/novel... either way would work, it's up to you ;) There could definitely potentially be some interesting plots that could develop, though. ;)
Well done.Author's Response: thanks! I am thrilled you liked it! It's my fave one shot I've written well I guess fave one that I've written currently. My upmost fave is my Cedric/Oc but anyway, thanks for your awesome review! I thought Calliope was a nice name too...it suits her in the sequel which I shall be posting asap! :) Report Review
Hey there, I would've left more reviews on the previous chapters, but it was just so good and enticing and I had to keep going, rather than stopping and interupting the flow of the story. Anyway -
Just wanted to say, this is absolutely amazing! I completely devoured all the available chapters in less than 24 hours (hey, started late at night, and school got in the way). It was brilliant. (Except for the fact that now there's no more. That's kind of sad.)
Your writing style is beautiful, and the plot concept here is executed beautifully. I really enjoyed Sirius and Dee's characterization; your portrayal of Dee is realistic and credible. There were slight moments of inconsistency with Sirius, but then agian, hey, if it's from Dee's perspective, it's probably biased. ;)
Literally felt tingles at certain scenes, they were just that well carried out. The flow is amazing, the emotion is conveyed beautifully, wonderful story. I'm really looking forward to more!
Especially since this is one of the best Sirius/OCs I've read in a long time. (Now that Match has stopped updating, I need to get my fix somehow, right? - kidding. In all seriousness, I actually stopped reading Sirius/OC for a while, but after this, I might start again. :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for an amazing review! This is the sort of thing that makes me smile to see :) and I'm really glad you're liking the story!
Don't worry, there is more on the cards, finals are just looming a little (oh, who am I kidding I've been playing outside by the lake) and I really hope you continue to read it!
Thanks for your amazing comments, and in response to the Sirius inconsistencies thing, it's probably true, it's just that it is Dee's perspective of him, and it develops as she gets to know him on another level, but once I get this finished, or if I'm a having a bit of a block I'll go back and try to fix it up... is there any parts in particular that jump out at you?
Anyway thank you so much, this has made my day haha! Report Review
Ooh, that's great to hear that Breaking the Quidditch Code is planned up to 28, that one's getting good!
One little thing I noticed: "Hogwarts get cold" should it be: "Hogwarts can get cold" or something along those lines?
Aww, Lee's so sweet. That's pretty awesome that they got back together. I mean, in the long run, someone like Alicia who needs lovin' wouldn't be happy with someone like Bastian. So it all works out good!
And that whole firefly catching competition scene was pretty sweet too. The girls won - yippie! Although Oliver still got his
"prize" anyway, *wink wink, haha.
Beautiful chapter, looking forward to seeing more of both this & Breaking the Quidditch Code!Author's Response: Haha, thanks for noticing the typo. I caught a good deal of them but of course not all. I'm glad you like the outcome of the Alicia situation. She's such a sensual, loving person that I think she would have gotten bored of all the crap that came from Bastian's loving her. James Wright poetry and all. I thought the firefly thing would be a little fun :) Glad you liked it & thanks for the review! Report Review
NO EFFEEE WAY. Is this for real?! RON IS STILL ALIVE?!
Oh. My. What a bas*d! Pardon the language and all, but that was one shock I was most definitely not expecting! I mean, how could he even do that, pretend to be dead and whatnot. And Harry - to play along! I mean, why isn't RON in AZKABAN for murdering Narcissa?!
Skye's powerful and pretty and a unicorn! Oooh, that's pretty awesome :) And of course it's really great that she got reunited with Draco, even if she did get a bit injured in the process.
But honestly - what a cliffie! You must must must update soon, because holy cow - RON ALIVE!!! TO LIE like that, Harry, Harry, losing respect for you mate.Author's Response: Haha sorry for throwing you for a loop there ;)
Ron isn't in Azkaban because technically, he didn't kill her. He didn't fire the curse that blasted the door open, and the Auror who did do that (an unmentioned one because he really isn't important) wasn't punished in any way because he was acting under orders.
I'll definitely update as soon as I can :)
Thanks for the review! Report Review
& the plot thickens!
Glad I decided to check otu some of your other stories today, this was really good (and I've just read all 6 available chapters in one sitting!).
Very intriguing plot line and characterization, update soon? Report Review
Oh yay - the first chapter of the sequel's already up! Pretty awesome. And wow; a unicorn foal! That's definitely very exciting. I'm glad Hermione had a great day, she really deserves one after all that she's been through.
Riding Darkness bareback... tsk, tsk. Good thing she wasn't hurt! But introducing a unicorn foal... nice twist. Hmm, what subplot could you possibly have ticking with that one?
I'm actually kind of glad she slammed the door in Ron's face. I mean, kind of gotta feel sorry for him and all, but honestly - what he did - unforgiveable! Especially the loss of Narcissa (definitely didn't see that coming, btw) - someone who was such a strong advocate of women's rights...
BTW, in the last chapter of Trophy Wife - that blond haired stranger who was so encouraging - that was Polyjuice Potion, wasn't it?! And - it was Draco, right?!?!
Anyway, great first chapter, really looking forward to more. Especially for those when Draco's present. ;)Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Don't worry, Draco will come back soon :) Report Review
Hey there - looks like I'm getting the coveted spot of first reviewer! (Kind of surprising, but s' cool)
That's definitely a pretty interesting start. Poor Sapphire, losing both her parents like that. The sisters definitely have relaly interesting names... Diamond, Sapphire, Cyrstal, ruby... they're all gems!
Looks like she's going to be experiencing another life-altering event soon! Anyway, pretty awesome introductory chapter, keep it up!Author's Response: Thanks so much for my first review on this story. Its sad, but its about to get better.maybe. And the funny thing is that the girls' last name Gioille means Jewels in Italian. Thanks for reading. New story soon, I promise, my computer is having problems. Report Review
Hey-hey-hey! Didn't realize until today that you already had the sequel up! Pretty awesome start - Jane's father's definitely pretty chill. Such an obedient girl she is too, answering with "Yes" each time, aha.
The whole Oliver/Jane scene was pretty cute too. His flat seems pretty cool, especially after Jane re-decorated it for him! Hmm, definitely going to be interesting to find out more about his parents and etc.
HAHAHA about Janet or JoJo or Juniper. Janet was kind of close though. ;) Yep yep, definitely wanting to hear from Fred and Geroge, and the girls too, and maybe put more of Bryce in this sequel too?
Anyway, great start, definitely looking forward to more. (Especially since you left off with a bit of a cliffie - are they going to the Woods' for dinner?)Author's Response: Glad you found it all right--I do love Jane's father. He's such a fun character to write. I just love their relationship which is a build off of the letters and interaction during Keep Away. Thanks for the review and I'm excited to see what you think of everything else! Report Review
Ah! Yippie whoowee, can't believe it's taken me so long to discover your new story! On the bright side, this does mean that I get to read at least the first five chapters in sucession without having to be in too much suspense ;)
Aww, poor Dominique - just starting life too, at a ripe young age! Her first time, and with Teddy... wow what a complicated situation! Are we going to see more of Chandler, by any chance? He sounds like quite an intriguing character.
Hahaha, you'll need protection, if your characters come to life! It's true though, dramatic stories are much more fun to write. I'll cut off the review here then, and hop onwards to the next chapters. Brilliantly begun!Author's Response: aww thanks!! haha. i'm glad that you finally did and reviewed!! and yeah, i know. i feel bad for her. thanks so much! Report Review
Ah! Yippie you've finally updated. *squeal of delight* Scanned your blog entry - I don't think I've got any rotten veggies/fruit in the fridge. ;) But I wouldn't have chucked any at you anyway. Hehe, getting into the Twilight craze? Same, I think I wrote one Twilight fanfic (a two-shot) a while ago, but other than that, still an HP girl. Besides, this was a great chapter to get back into it. Happy 2009! And hopefully school etc. isn't too busy in the near future; drooling on textbooks is never a good sign. ;)
As for the chapter itself - phew-wee! The whole Rose/Scorpius situation is just so hot. Aww, another intro of suspense/mystery. Why can't he be with her? Tsk tsk, boys. Kind of cocky of him, expecting Rose to want him back, even right after he said they couldn't be together. But then again, he's Scorpius with dreamy eyes, ...
Aww - Al and Nat need to really reconcile soon! It's just so sad, the neglectful way they're going on. Hugo's' being so sweet though.
And James! Holy cow - so adorable! Hehe, must've been pretty major butterflies in his tummy, if it took him like ten minutes to decide on just a tie. And it's about something more than the physical between him and Kylie, which is great. What's that about her watch; was she on call for the hospital? Aww, talk about terrible timing - running out just when he was about to ask her. Poor James - hope he doesn't get too drunk with the Merlot. Wouldn't want him reverting back to dangerous ways. ;)
Hopefully the next chapter will provide some answers - (and not too long in coming, if at all possible?) - and lots of Scorpius/Rose and James/Kylie; they're just too cute!Author's Response: thanks for not throwing things at me. I'll understand if you do after this next wait, though!
Boys, sometimes a girl just needs one...to quote Britney
I think you'll like next chapter ;)
Hmm...stay tuned about the watch.
Sorry it's taken so long! Report Review
Wow - I just realized that I haven't left you a review for this chapter yet! I read it a few days ago, but it's been pretty hectic with exams etc. that I didn't have time to yet. :( Aww
Hehehe, that was such a cute ending! And even Jane got an offer to play Quidditch!
Aww, so adorable, the way that Oliver admitted straight out that he was going to London "for the girl". Lucky Jane!
"Jane, you’re the reserve Seeker for next year.”
I gaped at her and then threw my toast at her as the group roared with laughter. “Ha ha!” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
“I’m not kidding.”
HAHAHA wow looks like Jane's not quite able to escape from Quidditch after all. :) Brilliant.
And even better? The fact that there's definitely going to be a sequel! YIPPIE!! Definitely looking forward to that, especially since (I'm assuming) that there's going to be lots of juicy Oliver/Jane moments? Brilliant.
Wow, can't believe it's been so long since I first discovered this story. *tear Kinda sad that it's come to an end, but whoopee! for having a sequel.
I'll see you there then, hopefully soon ;)Author's Response: I'm so glad you decided to review :) I love your reviews :) I'm happy for Jane too, after she thought she couldn't do anything she finally managed it and "got the guy". I'm very glad you're on board for the sequel. I'm 4 chapters in right now and I have 13 planned out, so it's going really quick. I think you'll like it.
I totally agree about it being so long. Last March is when I started it...and it's almost March again. It's crazy. I think you're going to enjoy the sequel. I'll give you a hint. Stuff hits the fan. And not just for Jane and Oliver. Report Review
Hahahaha awesome chapter! Malfoy's going to be in huge doo-doo, the way he got Hermione all covered in mud. She sounds infuriated ;) & you got a new banner :) I actually noticed yesterday, and then yippie today held a new chapter as well. (Did you blogspot disappear?) It's different, in a good way. I liked the old one too though.
One thing though; "now opaque, white sweater." I believe you mean translucent/transparent? Because opaque means that you can't see through it... Hehehe, Draco's so naughty. That was a tense moment there, when he fell off the broom!
Good thing it all worked out relatively well though. Oh wow, awesome job at the whole "grown men fighting" scene, that was funny. And the whole Narcissa/Lucius bit in this chapter was so adorable.
Perry's a funny one - it's awesome how he keeps making Draco jealous though. As for that theory, of Draco having liked her even at Hogwarts... hmm. That's definitely a concept that would change things for Hermione.
Haha, it's awesome that there's more mischief to come before/on their wedding night. Mayhem is always great! Anyways, brilliant chapter as always, definitely going to stay tuned and lookin' forward to 22 :)Author's Response: Hello, Frosted!
:D Yay! I'm glad you thought so. Yeah, I wanted a change from the old banner, had it for so long, but apparently a lot of ppl prefer it over the newer one so I switched it back. And yes, I deleted the old blog, I didn't have the time or drive to update it properly. Instead, I created a "meet the author" page on the forums. So if you want to ask me something/chat about something, just leave me a post over there. I check it pretty regularily. Every day, every other day. :)
Yes, you're right. That is what I meant. I've been having issues with my head not working right lately. :D Thanks for pointing it out for me. The chapter is in the queue to be corrected. :)
Thank you so much, I'm really happy you enjoyed it! Thanks for reviewing! Chapter 22 will be up soon! :) Report Review
Whoohoo! An update! (I should really be studying for exams right now, and finishing up final assignemnts, but I just couldn't resist reading + reviewing :) Aww, those brief stories about the Malfoy heritage were quite intriguing. So sad though. Come to think of it, a few of those (e.g. Nero's story) would stand alone beautifully as well, perhaps as future projects?
Grr Uncle Lu for interupting Hermione and Draco, just when they were about to get cozy. And then the name itself! Darry and Uncle Lu! Hahahaha that is quite amusing.
Hehe, smooth, sin't Perry? A regular Chuck Bass indeed. The wholel yin/yang thing was a very nice touch as well. And yippie for making Draco a little jealous :) HAhaha @ "we'll see". Only four days left until the wedding - can't wait to see how that plays out!
As always, beautiful chapter, everying was excellent in terms of techique. And it does help, knowing what's going to happen. I've finally managed to find my plot notes for AST, so hopefully I'll be able to churn out more regular updates after exams. :) So yippie for hearing that Lies will get easier! (Oh, and the one line, where she actually says "lies" was a nice touch!)
Well, I hope that "maybe, just maybe" leans further towards the yes side - another break from studying would be awesome! Thanks, & cheers :)Author's Response: Hello again, Frosted!
Haha! You need to hit the books! :)
Ya know, I hadn't even considered it until you mentioned that, but now that you have a prequel of sorts could be done for my version of the Malfoy history. I think both Eleanor and Nero's stories could be beautiful tragedies. But we'll see. It may be something I take up at a later time. :)
Lol. Yeah, it was just getting too steamy... I had to break it up. :D Gotta leave some awkwardness and suspense for the wedding night! ;) Oh the names lol. I imagined Draco and Perseus seeing each other on the summers as children. And having nicknames for each other as kids often do. Perry short for Perseus. And simply b/c kids often mess names up, Darry (so similar to Perry) for Draco. Uncle Lu and Aunt Cissa just because, well... you know how kids are. :)
Ah yes, I have a lot of mischief to manage during those next 4 days... it's going to get interesting. ;) You can easily expect at least 2 more chapters for that. Hell, maybe even a Chapter per day depending on how frisky I get. :D
Thank you so very much! I'm so glad you think so and liked it.
God, it does. Sometimes, it's best to just stop where you feel like you should and move on to the next thing, rather than trying to force a chapter that you feel is done to be a bit longer. :) A lesson learned for this writer.
After reading all these wonderful reviews, I am def. gonna be busy the next couple of days getting 21 written, and I think I'm going to go ahead and work out 22 as well when I do that. SO cross your fingers for that and check back towards the end of the week/weekend (Maybe the queue will be shorter by the time I submit!) :)
Thanks for the lovely review, Frosted! Report Review
Awww... Draco's such an adorable strapping young lad ;) It was pretty awesome to see an update - even if it was a bit shorter than usual. And I'll take your word for the next one being a different mood - skimmed your other author responses and saw that chapter 20 is already in queue? Brilliant!
Poor Hermione; that's so awful about her parents. It's good though that she had a good cry and got some of those emotions out.
And how Draco took the hint and got her a television and all... so sweet. He's really becoming more accepting of Muggle-related things, isn't he? And as well, hahaha at Ginny's "elec-tro-nick" device.
"“Her parents,” Ginny said softly and silently mouthed died to her."
^^ I'm not too sure if that's a typo? It sounds a little confusing.
Otherwise, it was great to see the story progress further, and as always, brilliant chapter, looking forward to the next soon (hopefully). :)Author's Response: Hello Frosted!
:) He is, isn't he? :D
I'm glad you think so. I really felt bad about taking so long, that was one of the main reasons I wanted to go ahead and get this short chapter posted. And yes, chapter 20 should be posted in the next 4-5 days, depending on how long the queue has left on it. :)
I think I prob. shoulda put died in quotes ('died') to clear it up. I will edit it as soon as 20 clears the queue. :)
Thank you so much, and thank you for reviewing, Frosted, I always love to read what you guys think! :D Report Review
Ooh, a very pleasant Christmas gift indeed! And such a good chapter to boot; how sweet was that ending - Scorpius came back! Yippie! With his shiny hair, no less ;)
Grr, Longbottom was (and I suppose McGonagall a bit too) a bit infuriating this chapter; that was such blatant favoritism. Good on Rose for chucking the badge at her head! :) And then of course that led to Scorpius... teehee
Aw, the whole developing situation between James and Kylie sounds so cute, can't wait to see how that plays out further. (Will Jennifer still be playing a role in chapters to come though?)
As always, another brilliantly wonderful chapter, Merry Christmas, and see you next year! :)Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! Shiny hair and all, hmmm...
They certainly were. And shame on Neville for that, too. But then again, he was protecting his daughter...sort of...
Jennifer may or may not. I haven't decided. She's probably mostly out of the picture. They may exchange owls or something, but she's really sick.
Thanks! Report Review
SQUEEE! haha yes still squeeing a bit, indeed. Aww, only 3 more chapters? Well, in that case you'd better write something else this bloody brilliant when it's all done =)
That was a totally adorable chapter, such cute Oliver & Jane fluff. To tell the truth, the last chapter, when Jane and Ollie kissed it was simply so cute that I'd totally forgotten about Roger! And then it was like...Oh. right. that guy.
"pang of jealousy" haha Oliver's such a funny dude. George too: (“I didn’t realize you were being serious when we caught you practicing your fall, Janey!” cried George). Aww, Jane's dad's so informed ;) Great father-daughter dynamics there too.
Well, in any case, i'm super-glad that you're churning these chapters out ahead of schedule! Especially since today was an utterly crap day, the worst in, oh the last half year literally, and it was very comforting to come home and read the latest chapter. Thanks!Author's Response: Awww, I'm glad my chapter could comfort you on a crappy day. I love it when that happens. Every time I have a crap day I just turn to a chapter in HP and read about Ron snogging Hermione or I go through fan art to make me feel better...or pictures of hockey guys haha.
And I promise I'll write something sweet next--do you have any ideas? I'm really up for suggestions, but I know my next project will be James II because I've been curious about the whole second generation thing. But that doesn't mean I can't do two things at once :)
Pang of jealousy was my favorite line :) And I had to insert the George line just because of a few chappies ago when they caught her falling and had that great back and forth dialog going.
Thanks for the great review! Let me know if you have some sweet ideas :) Report Review
Ahoy there! This was a great chapter, and the fact that it was longer than usual was a plus too :) Hehe, I have a tendency to do that too, drop hints and teasers in my review responses.
I know I favourited this story ages ago, but didn't get around to reading it until recently, in which case I swallowed all 21 chapters in way under 48 hours. Which was also really really bad timing on my part, staying up until one in the morning reading it (it was just that good!) instead of studying for the numerous huge unit tests and projects I've got due before the holidays. It's quite addictive :)
You've incorporated the drama beautifully; I especially like all your plot twists - they're actual twists, for one thing, and they're always such nice ones. You've really mastered the art of reader manipulation very well - totally feeling what the characters are. Quite frankly, I was sort of pissed at Albus after he was claimed to be cheating, although I was a little worried about that, because he didn't seem like a cheater, y'know? And when everyone got mad at Rose... And now. Wow. Now? No, Nat's got it all wrong! Albus is such a wonderful person, working his ass of like that (is it a ring in the box?) only to get slapped.
Although the "evidence" was rather incriminating, even if falsely so. And ... SCORPIUS!!! He knew, didn't he? About Albus's job at the Leaky Cauldron. That was a really realistic touch about how upset Rose was and the "chocolate weight". I hope they get back together, they were so adorable. It was all just a huge misunderstanding! And I've kind of missed not having Scorpius in the recent few chapters.
You've also characterized their friendship beautifully, the dynamics between them just seems so authentic. And... maybe Meghan isn't ALL bad? Poor Lily and Arnie...
Well, it seems like you're a pretty speedy updater, so that's be AWESOME because I can hardly wait for more! Beautifully done, 'til next time,
~IssyAuthor's Response: Hey!! Wow, thank you so much for reading all 21 chapters at once. I don't think i could, though I've tried, I get bored because I already know what's going to happen. But thanks! I'm glad I could keep your interest long enough for you to read all of them!
Truth is, I've been writing ff for 8 years, and this is the first story I've stuck with past 9 chapters. I'm so glad you like the characters and all of the twists and turns. I know it can be hard to wait, but it's all worth it, right? At least for me it is, when I'm itching to write the next chapter but I've got other RL things to do...that's torture!
Albus is my favorite NextGen character, so I really couldn't make him evil enough to cheat on his pregnant-with-twins girlfriend. Nat's got it wrong in that he didn't cheat on her, but... (and I'll leave it at that :P I'm the evil one!)
Scorpius plays an even bigger part in the whole thing than that, which I'm planning on putting into the next chapter *crosses fingers*. (I've actually researched this and found) girls do one of two things after an unwanted breakup: don't eat anything or eat too much. With Ron as her father, I figured Rose would be in the "gorger" category. That, and it's proven that women like chocolate when depressed, caused the developement of the "chocolate weight" plot point. I haven't decided, but I'm leaning more towards one of the two: they get back together before the end, or they don't get back together before the end. Haha, we'll see.
Nope, Meghan is ALL bad. We'll see that, too. And Lily and Arnie as well...
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words!
Haha, wow, boy am I ever glad that I checked the Recently Added Stories list today and clicked on yours because so far, it's amazingly good.
Ooh, was the mown grass comment a reference back to what Hermione smelled from the Amorentia? Clever, very clever. :) And in terms of the story line thus far, it's moving along quite nicely. Scorpius sounds like such a sweetheart! The apple scene was cute.
Your descriptions are beautifully done, and it's great that other canon characters are being incorporated. Really looking forward to the fourth chapter, even if you claim it's iffy. I bet it'll turn out amazing though :)
'Til next time,
~IssyAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! Your wonderful review has made my day. :) Report Review
SQUE indeed! Oh. My. Wow. That's was un-be-frickin-leivably adorable! And that is a very cute chapter title, I knew it was going to be a good chapter the minute I read it :) And it didn't disappoint, which was great.
LOL @ "It’s a doosy. You see, Snitchie, I’ve got this friend, right? She’s very pretty. And she’s a girl Snitch. That’s right, Snitchie, a real lady. Polished gold. Long wings. Radiant shine.
And she just got dumped by another Snitch."
Brilliant lines, quite funny (although the effect is as hard hitting all bunched up like above, but you know which lines). Hehe Janey's so funny, thinking that she can bribe a Snitch. Although that was a very fairytaleistic ending, how she caught the Snitch AND Oliver saved her/the day. So adorable. :)
The game itself was pretty well done too; Ellis is one funny dude, even when physically incapitated. :) And congratulations on all the reviews; that's great!
Anyway, another great chapter, definitely looking forward to see more Jane/Oliver moments. :)
Real jerk. Didn’t appreciate her.Author's Response: Your review made me smile. I was wondering where you went :) I was quite happy with the title of this one and the last one. I think the inside of Jane's head is a little crazy haha. I had it planned since she was "practicing falling" a few chapters back that she would fall after catching the Snitch but when I wrote it I noticed I had her flying directly above Oliver's head...one thing head to another and...well, you know. I think every good story needs a bit of cheeseball romance to get things going. Obviously Oliver wasn't going to do anything without some egging on.
And Ellis. Oh...Ellis. :) Report Review
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