Reading Reviews From Member: Elysium
  
69 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Elysiumyour enemy is sleeping: pomegranate gelato

12th January 2011:
Oh wow. Gubby! This is precisely why I need to make a concerted effort in future to read more broadly on HPFF. I adore the narrative - highly poetic, and slightly disjointed (but in the most evocative and delightful way!) - style of this piece. It's precisely my favourite sort of writing :D

The repeated motif of the moth's wings, the stars - right down to the fact that Narcissa's namesake is not a star unlike the rest of the Blacks - and the beautiful way you interwove the mythological elements (really nice parallels, by the way... I never considered Lucius and Narcissa in that light but it works so well)... basically it's fabulous.

There was an eerie sort of beauty to the piece as a whole, somewhat chilling, which I suppose made it more effective in conveying Andromeda's view on their relationship.

In any case, I'm prone to rambling and probably make no sense at all! The important point is that I'm thrilled to have finally read your work and fully intend to familiarise myself with more of it :D

- Kylie

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Review #2, by ElysiumFields of Gold: the jealous sun

12th January 2011:
Hi there!! Sorry I'm so dreadfully late with the promised reviews, I've been plague-ridden with the flu which is my best excuse. In any case, this was a gorgeous first piece to read... and since I've never encountered your work before I was totally delighted by your deft touch with the descriptive writing. The imagery is evocative and quite delicate, so that I felt like I was there with her, amidst the barley and the breeze.

I've very little experience in reading this ship, despite its popularity, but the thing that I loved about the way you portrayed them here is that whilst it is clearly capturing the last moments of James & Lily... there's a universal sort of quality to the depiction... like it could be any two people coming together in that moment.

I love that sort of ambiguity in writing. This was both wistful and bittersweet, and above all else, lovely.

Your Secret Santa,

Kylie

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Review #3, by ElysiumSage: Sage

30th November 2010:
Hi Amanda,

I'm Kylie from TGS and just popping by to check out your work, which I've never actually read before. I have to say, this story caught my eye immediately because I've always adored Reguls/OC... mostly because we just know it's going to relentless pull at heart strings after what happened to him, but also because we know what kind of person he really was, and that's not the one Sirius depicted him as.

I thought the narrative voice was lovely, like an ode to her former love. It was quite fragile, and though you had plenty of languid and lovely imagery, it was never over-wrought or burdensome. A hard line to walk, quite often.

The use of short, simple sentences punctuated it beautifully.

Also, despite the fact that the story is clearly bittersweet and nostalgic, there is an uplifting note toward the end, the idea that their daughter might be safe and have a future is a lovely one.

Great work over all :D

- Kylie

Author's Response: Hi there, Kylie! I'm glad you enjoyed the read! :)

It's wonderful to hear that the narrative voice and imagery and simple sentences were written well. I think inspiration makes it easier to write this way, and sometimes that in itself is difficult to come by. Thank you so much for dropping by to review! I appreciate your feedback! :)

~amandatonks


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Review #4, by ElysiumTugging the Dragon's Heartstring: Chapter 1

22nd November 2010:
To be honest, at first I was a little uncertain about the segmentation of parts in the story, not so much in terms of the flashbacks - because with them being italicised, it was fairly clear - but between the leaps in time during the present. But by the end, I actually think it worked quite well. It was jolting, but that's sometimes more successfully than slowly trekking from one moment to the next. Particularly because it was pointed, you were showing us the different phases, if you will.

I really like the unapologetic way you showed that love can change, and not because of something drastic or horrible, but because it alters when someone new comes on the scene. It's far more indicative of real life... the mundane and entirely undramatic way that people can fall in and out of love (without someone cheating or dying etc). There was a wistful sort of hopefulness at the end, when you introduced Griselda. It was the perfect foil for what could otherwise have been a rather depressing end for Charlie.

I think your characterisations were well-formed, particularly Luna. You captured her pureness of spirit and her quirkiness in a really lovely way, without going overboard as some writers are wont to do. No mean feat, because in my opinion she's actually one of the most difficult HP characters to pin down in a really authentic way.

You also had some really nice imagery in this piece, simple, but lovely nonetheless. An example of this would be: Their bright yellow robes stood out in the crowd like goldfinches in a murder of ravens.

Very pretty, indeed.

Anyway, overall I think you did a great job :D I always enjoy reading about minor characters because the experience is always refreshing... there's more of the author invested in the character than we get with the more popular choices.

- Kylie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the very kind review. I'm sorry that it took me a few days to respond; work has been crazy and I've been extremely tired.

I appreciate the honest commentary on the flashbacks. I think this story needed them, but I don't think I write them particularly well, so it's nice to hear that these were okay.

I really, really enjoy writing Charlie/Tonks unrequited. I just have a vision of them having been more than friends.

Love is complicated and I really wanted to show that. I don't think Charlie and Luna fell out of love because of Rolf, I just think it was their time. I can picture Luna being more sanguine about it than Charlie and I hoped that came through.

Luna's my fave character to write and I'm always glad to hear that I got her characterization down. I agree that too many fan writers overdo Luna. I try not to do that. On a side note, I find Snape hard to write.

Again, thanks for the kind words and the CC. I really appreciate the time you took to read my story.


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Review #5, by ElysiumAphrodite Rising: Goddess Rising

18th November 2010:
Oh goodness... this probably my single favourite thing you've ever written... which is saying something as I do so adore your writing. There were too many gorgeous little fragments in this story, beautiful and heartbreaking imagery. It's pared back and imperfect, showing the dirty undertow that exists beyond. Especially when contrasted against this depiction of Pansy and Blaise in their youth:

"She and he were the same, once. Peas in a pod. Fresh and new and filled with ideals."

I thought it was wonderfully insightful. Have you ever seen the movie Lantana? It's an Aussie film, anyway, I digress. The symbols just reminded me of the film and the plant in many ways. The glossy, beautiful finish and the murky weeds that linger underneath. Your Pansy's strikes me as quite the same.

In any case, I thought your figurative language and evocative imagery were shown to their best in this story. Short, crisp sentences punctuating the otherwise languid prose. Very lovely and very dark all at once.

xox Kylie

Author's Response: hey my love
wow really? your favourite thing?? -sque-
thank you once again for totally understanding this!! you always get my writing, and i love you for it!

Lantana is an amazing film! Deadly Sins is very loosely based on it, and yes, i can see the symbolism here too so thank you! im glad you noticed that about this fic and about pansy because she is very much like a weed - beautiful on the outside, but damaged and impure underneath.

wow kylie- what wonderful praise!! thank you thank you thank you! i am thrilled you liked this hun!!

Kate xx


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Review #6, by ElysiumFallen: And so she dances

18th November 2010:
This was utterly gorgeous, Kate. No surprise at all. You have such a beautiful, lyrical way with words that creates evocative imagery but also very tangible emotion. You don't tell us what we should feel, but rather let your readers infer and read between the lines. I love the diction in this, but also that staccato rhythm of her feet as a drum, to use your own words. It creates a wonderful tempo that builds throughout this piece. There's always something beautiful about short pieces like this... so brief that it's like looking through a window and capturing just one moment which represents their whole relationship to this point.

Lovely :)

xox Kylie

Author's Response: oh kylie thank you darling!
you totally got this piece, and i thank you for it! i don't know what else to say other than i am so pleased you liked it and that it worked for you!!

xx Kate


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Review #7, by ElysiumCarousel: Of Sprites and Goblins

12th July 2010:
This was delightful. You're such an eloquent writer, Ayesha and it still comes through in your word selection, the diction and the descriptions within each of your stories. This is no different. I loved the clever use of capitalisation in this story, because although it was essentially read from the perspective of her father, it still created this very childlike view of things. "He was Favourite." and other similar snippets were a perfect example of this.

One thing that struck me when reading this, is the in-between nature of Hermione's existence (and indeed all other Muggleborns), she is a freak according to muggles at her party and yet she will grow up to be considered a lesser being by wizarding society. It's a sad, but unfortunately very real facet of human nature.

I love drabbles and vignettes, there honestly aren't enough of them around. They just have this wonderful ability to transport the reader, but also to capture the profound impact one moment can have in a way that a standard one-shot cannot.

I know it has taken me a while to read this, but I really enjoyed it and am now going to actively badger you to write that update you've been talking about.

xox Kylie

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Review #8, by ElysiumWhat A Wonderful Existence: What A Wonderful Existence

1st March 2010:
Wow, you're not kidding. That was so different to the Hermione based one, and yet the same fluidity and prose-like writing was there. I loved the capitalisations of Life and so on, it really added to that wonderfully uplifting and hopeful tone in this piece. I could almost visualise that huge, yawning expanse of possibility which Molly was talking about. The descriptive writing in this was evocative and just lovely. It's just a total shame that, because this story isn't a romance, angst-driven dramione that it misses out on the feedback and attention it deserves.

I adored it :)

xox Kylie

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Review #9, by ElysiumSitting, Waiting, Wishing: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

1st March 2010:
Wow, Ayesha. That was intense. I loved the way you used short, crisp sentences to punctuate the flow of your writing (i.e. But the pain is real. Its always real.). That combined with the repetition of the thumping sound makes a really heady rhythm to your story, which is something I always love in a one-shot. It was kind of eerie being inside Hermione's head whilst she was in that frame of mind. She's always been the voice of reason so the fraughtness came through loud and clear. And it was a great hook at the end.

I knew your diction and turn of phrase were really lovely, just based off what you showed me from the story you're working on but I was pretty excited to see what kind of writer you are in general. I love reading aloud and hearing the way a sentence rolls into the next... your story made that a lovely experience. You're a talented girl, all around :P

xox Kylie

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Review #10, by ElysiumRelatively Speaking: Prologue: Neville and Ginny, Close-Up

29th April 2009:
SQUISH! :D

This is a wonderful prologue for a very believable pairing. You kept them both intrinsic to their natures that we see in canon, whilst at the same time showing the maturity that comes with age. I thought your repeated structure of the opening paragraphics in both their perspectives was a great way to really pull us in. And the writing itself is excellent :D

Gorgeous work hun xox

Author's Response: OMG, Kylie. I love you.:D Had free time, didya? ;p Lol. Anyway, I'm glad you think that the characterization is believable. I was a bit iffy on it and had a hard time editing and editing things out.;)

I'm glad you think the style of the openings were good. I had many sleepless nights over them. No kidding.:P

ILY, darling. Will post this in TDM soon..:)

~~C


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Review #11, by ElysiumDust: Dust

1st May 2008:
My goodness, darling where do I begin? Firstly can I say thank you for having dedicated this truly amazing piece to me. It has quite literally taken my breath away.

Your command of 2nd Person Pov was astounding - you most definitely achieved what you had hoped, well with me in any case. I was utterly captivated - and you know how much I adore the technique of not using names to describe your characters. And you pull it off so well... even before you said his name I knew it was Ron (god I hate him!). Your characters - all of them - but most particularly Hermione and Ron were so deliciously flawed. The weariness and the exhaustion from maintaining their facades flooded through the entire piece - it was saddening, and yet at the same time it seemed so right for them to come to that final close.

Your transitions from one character to the next were so delicate, that one really had to be connected to follow - and I was. You didn't labour the change, and it was all the more potent for it.

And, oh! the references to dust were beautiful, like a symbol of their relationship - the way he kicks the dust up on the stairs as he heads to their bedroom, and this line "Dust rises in a bloom of decay" were lovely. Usually I pick out particularly lines that moved me, but to be honest this flowed so wonderfully and seamlessly that it would seem inadequate to pick out only one part.

Your writing has always been moving, but this one tugged, Kate, it really did. I'm so honoured to have had this written for me.

10/10 of course. You are wonderful.

xox Kylie

Author's Response: you are most welcome my dear ^_^ it took me a while, but i said i would write you something.
im so so so happy you liked it!! *squeee* and that my 2nd person POV worked like i hoped. hahahaa poor Ron - he is top of my Hate List as well!
'deliciously flawed' characters are my absolute favs!! who wants someone who is perfect? give me grit and grime and twisted thoughts any day! its so much fun!
im so pleased you felt the sadness and the exhaustion - thats what i wanted the reader to feel from this. i wanted them to feel as tired and hopeless as Ron and Hermione did with their existence, until, like you said, the final close was appropriate.
dust - a definite symbol. im glad you saw that too (which i knew you would ^_-)
sweetie, im so incredibly happy you liked this so much!! thank you for a lovely review!!
*tackle hugs*
Kate xoxox


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Review #12, by ElysiumTrapped in my Mind: Trapped in my Mind

13th February 2008:
I have to confess I’m rather shocked at this being only the second review for your story – and I am only sorry it has taken me this long to get around to it.

Firstly I want to thank you for this lovely entry, and for having worked so well with the challenge constraints. You have employed some very powerful writing technique in this piece. The repetitious ‘Drip, drip’ is very effective. Especially the way you described it, as though it is the axis on which is world spins, everything is measured by that one constant sound.

Very powerful stuff there. I also think that though the piece is short it is effective, some of the most potent writing is under 1000 words. Nothing will kill a story quicker than waffling on unnecessarily.

Really great work here.

Note: Now in terms of the results of the challenge, I had intended to notify everyone today but unfortunately have just run into a little blip along the way one of the entrants. As such I cannot post the results just now (it will likely be a few more days in which case I shall PM you all) but I did feel it was time to post all of the reviews. The reason for the delay is that I wanted to post all reviews at the same time for fairness really… that and a pinch of procrastination.

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Review #13, by ElysiumThe Itsy, Bitsy Spider: The Itsy, Bitsy Spider

13th February 2008:
That was without doubt the most harrowing, horrifying thing I have ever read – which I suppose is also a reflection on how well written it was… even though it took me three attempts to get through the first part (a crippling fear of spiders will do that to a person – even if the aforementioned spider is being ripped to shreds.

In any case, it was very well written, very much in keeping with the aim of the challenge and I should congratulate you on your ability to get into the mind of Antonin – though it does not surprise me.

I particularly liked the conclusion which was especially strong – and it resonated powerfully I think – well certainly it did for me.

In terms of writing technique, coherency and purpose this was of a standard to which I have become accustomed to seeing from you… even if I was traumatised afterwards.

Great Work

Note: Now in terms of the results of the challenge, I had intended to notify everyone today but unfortunately have just run into a little blip along the way one of the entrants. As such I cannot post the results just now (it will likely be a few more days in which case I shall PM you all) but I did feel it was time to post all of the reviews. The reason for the delay is that I wanted to post all reviews at the same time for fairness really… that and a pinch of procrastination.

Author's Response: Haha, should I put a warning on this that says 'not for those with arachnophobia?' Actually, writing a story about killing a spider is a very effective way of dealing with said terrifying fear of spiders...I think I'm speaking from exprience when I say that :P

Yes, sadly I am very proficient at the ability to enter the heads of twisted, deranged serial killer Death Eaters. Perhaps I should find out the number of that shrink D suggested...

The conclusion was written as an after thought; when I got to the end of the main story, I just felt that it needed another scene to really finish off the story in more of a powerful matter.

Thanks for reviewing and I can't wait to see the results of the comp...


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Review #14, by ElysiumHeaven's Tears: Heaven's Tears

13th February 2008:
This was really lovely work. I’m just sorry it’s taken so long to get to it! I think you portrayed Ginny’s emotions very well. I’ve always found her to be a character that left me cold – but I really empathised with her in your story… and I place a lot of value in characterisation – so kudos for that.

You are a very strong writer, your turn of expression is clear and there is a lovely fluidity to your work. I think you worked really well within the parameters of the challenge :)

One thing I have to say that I really enjoyed was the symmetry between the mood and the emotion brewing which was reflected in the weather. It’s a simple but very effective way of injecting a strong ambiance within your story.

Note: Now in terms of the results of the challenge, I had intended to notify everyone today but unfortunately have just run into a little blip along the way one of the entrants. As such I cannot post the results just now (it will likely be a few more days in which case I shall PM you all) but I did feel it was time to post all of the reviews. The reason for the delay is that I wanted to post all reviews at the same time for fairness really… that and a pinch of procrastination.

Author's Response: Cool! Thank you so much for all the praise! I don't know even what to do with myself! :] Can't wait to see the results!

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Review #15, by ElysiumBack From the Dead: Back From the Dead

13th February 2008:
Thank you so much for your patience – things have been a little crazy.

Firstly I wanted to say that I thought you handled Ginny’s grief very well, it’s a powerful emotion and can often be quite misrepresented. This was not the case in this piece. You also had some wonderful attention to detail and strong descriptions which is really what I was looking for within the challenge.

Just one thing I would suggest that you be weary of is your tensing, which skipped from present to past on a few occasions and made the story a little harder to track. The only reason I say this is because the quality of writing here is high and it would be a let down for such a small thing to come in the way.

In any case well done. Really wonderful work.

Cheers Kylie

P.S It doesn’t matter that it’s short. Often they can be the most effective stories.

Note: Now in terms of the results of the challenge, I had intended to notify everyone today but unfortunately have just run into a little blip along the way one of the entrants. As such I cannot post the results just now (it will likely be a few more days in which case I shall PM you all) but I did feel it was time to post all of the reviews. The reason for the delay is that I wanted to post all reviews at the same time for fairness really… that and a pinch of procrastination.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the very kind (and helpful) review! I'm really happy that you thought Ginny's grief was written well. She's not really my favorite character, so I'm glad I got the necessary emotions through, since I've never written her before.

Thanks for the tip on the uses of tenses. That's usually my weakness when I write so now I'll make sure to keep an eye out for easy mistakes like that.

I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for issueing a great challenge, it was very fin to write :)


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Review #16, by ElysiumHaunted Elegance: The Music Of Her Soul

13th February 2008:
Hi there! Sorry about the delay in getting around to your story – things have been a little crazy. In any case I want to thank you for participating: D

Firstly I love the structure you employed in this piece, it was so transient and unpinned.. a style which I absolutely love. It gives a rather ethereal feeling to the writing and is very captivating.

One thing I would say is to be careful of your tensing. You slipped from past to present and back again in this piece which can be a bit distracting, especially when it is in this narrative style.

In any case I think you did a wonderful job. Thank you.


Cheers Kylie

Note: Now in terms of the results of the challenge, I had intended to notify everyone today but unfortunately have just run into a little blip along the way one of the entrants. As such I cannot post the results just now (it will likely be a few more days in which case I shall PM you all) but I did feel it was time to post all of the reviews. The reason for the delay is that I wanted to post all reviews at the same time for fairness really… that and a pinch of procrastination.

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Review #17, by ElysiumArcanum: the Lovers

13th February 2008:
Majikat

That was… decadent. And yet even that cannot sum it up. To be honest I was wholly affected by this one-shot – it was singularly one of the most absorbing pieces I have read. It was, as we had previously discussed, like poetry in motion. Exquisite.

I’m very familiar with the myth of Paris and the three Goddesses and I have to say I love how you drew inspiration from it without using it as a basis for the story. You painted her need, her desperation so vividly, it was as though I felt each quickening thrum of her heart as my own. It’s a very powerful impact, I tell you.

Much like his father, you have portrayed a beautiful Scorpius (he does make a great Helen doesn’t he lol). His beauty is pain, and it’s wonderful all the same.

Your attention to detail was wonderful, this was exactly the type of writing I had hoped for in setting this challenge – sheer attention to physical and emotional sensation. And your descriptions were both simple and complex at the same time.

For example the sheer bareness of this line: She melted into him like butter; his lips were her lips, his arms, his fingers, his breath, hers really got me.

It was like you painted a whole other world that was separate to the one that their family and friends lived in. I particularly loved your opening: But a close-knit family, the love her parents lavished on her at every opportunity, could not compare to the feeling of him. it just sang of obsession and infatuation so clearly.

I’m going to stop gushing now :P But truly Kate, even for you, this was exceptional.

xox Kylie

Note: Now in terms of the results of the challenge, I had intended to notify everyone today but unfortunately have just run into a little blip along the way one of the entrants. As such I cannot post the results just now (it will likely be a few more days in which case I shall PM you all) but I did feel it was time to post all of the reviews. The reason for the delay is that I wanted to post all reviews at the same time for fairness really… that and a pinch of procrastination.

Author's Response: kylie! sorry its taken so long to respond to this - you know ive been busy ^_^

decadent...wow. thank you. i would never use that word to describe my writing. im ..wow. thanks ^_^

scor makes the perfect helen!!! i really wanted to reverse the roles and give rose this burning need to be with him. something so strong she would risk everything for it.

glad you liked that line! im quite fond of it, lol

im so happy you liked it hun!! it was wonderful to write and a real challenge indeed. it forced me to concentrate on the other senses, which was great!

*hugs* Kate


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Review #18, by ElysiumLesson to be Learned: Lesson to be Learned

13th February 2008:
Thanks so much for participating in the challenge, I only apologise for the delay in responding!

Firstly I want to say that I found this piece very amusing, I think you played the dynamic between Ron and Snape really well and to great effect.

I like the fact that you chose one simple scene and played the whole story out within that small space in time; it makes for strong and effective writing. So congratulations for that.

My only comment would be to be careful of your tensing. There were a couple of occasions where you slipped from past to present and back again – it’s not a huge thing but it can be a distraction for readers.

Again thank you for your enthusiasm and I am glad you had fun writing this :D

xox Kylie

Note: Now in terms of the results of the challenge, I had intended to notify everyone today but unfortunately have just run into a little blip along the way one of the entrants. As such I cannot post the results just now (it will likely be a few more days in which case I shall PM you all) but I did feel it was time to post all of the reviews. The reason for the delay is that I wanted to post all reviews at the same time for fairness really… that and a pinch of procrastination.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It really means a lot to me! I'm glad you liked it.

I should really look out for my tensing, thanks for pointing that out to me.

I really liked this challenge and I'd like to participate in more of them!

~tmbo


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Review #19, by ElysiumTwo Wrongs: Two Wrongs

13th February 2008:
Ariel - this was absolutely wonderful!

I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get to it, Im just grateful for the aforementioned nagging, because this was really great. Aside from the very original subject matter,I have never read a Rita Skeeter fic before. Your characterisation was perfection. You really did get into her head - who would have thought that Maddie, lover of fluff and bunnies would have conjured up such a story and have related entirely so well with the devious Miss Skeeter.

I had to laugh when reading the opening line of the article, you captured the J.Kness so well.

writes Rita Skeeter, an attractive, twenty-something journalist who, after just a few short years in the industry, is already renowned across the wizarding world for her hard hitting stories that prove that everyone has a skeleton or two locked in their closets.

Such modesty! I loved it. I also felt that in your capturing her youthfor want of a better word, you have shown why she is the way she is later in canon. Her thoughts in regards to two wrongs not making a right, but one wrong needing to be punished was a strong undercurrent within the story.

Your writing and turn of expression show extraordinary clarity and strength, as I have come to expect from you.

Truly, my dear you do not write nearly often enough. Thank you.

xox Bambi

Note: Now in terms of the results of the challenge, I had intended to notify everyone today but unfortunately have just run into a little blip along the way one of the entrants. As such I cannot post the results just now (it will likely be a few more days in which case I shall PM you all) but I did feel it was time to post all of the reviews. The reason for the delay is that I wanted to post all reviews at the same time for fairness really… that and a pinch of procrastination.

Author's Response: I loff you Bambi. Seriously. *blushes insanely*

Pfft, no worries about the delay hun. I wouldn't have been one to complain about it anyway, seeing as I was a late submission. xD After writing this I actually searched the site and found that there is a shockingly sparse number of Rita Skeeter fics out there. Methinks I should therefore maybe take it upon myself to write some more about her... xD

*squee* I'm so glad you liked her characterization. It was so totally out of my realm. I know, there were no fluffy rainbows and sunshiny happiness, which is really an enormous feat in itself... (and just for the record, whilst I may love the bunnies, they most certainly don't love me back after I've shaken the plots out of them :P).

*grins* I managed to subconsiously develop an undercurrent? Oh my English teacher would be so very proud. And yes, I probably should try and write more often, but I've resigned to the fact that 90% of the time I'm just too damn lazy. I think you might just have to keep coming up with more brilliant challenges to motivate me. xD

And I'm the one that should be thanking you for this wonderful review, not the other way around! *huggleglomps* You put so much thought and detail into them that it always makes my day. Glad you liked it, and great challenge, Kylie. :D


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Review #20, by ElysiumHallelujah: Hallelujah

13th January 2008:
Wow, Sami, I am officially rendered speechless. This was an incredibly powerful piece! The way you captured the extremes of human emotion was quite shattering.

And the end! - I don't even know what to say other than that the last line "And from her lips, he drew the, 'Hallelujah." was sheer perfection. I love this song and it tied in seemlessly with your words.

There's something powerful about writing without a fully set plan in mind - the story tracks your own thoughts and emotions in a way that it cant when its planned out entirely.

As you know I am a big fan of the elusive, unpinned style of narrative in which no names are given and you executed it so very well. This truly was a beautiful piece. Thank you so much for the dedication!

xox Kylie

P.S I spotted two references to chocolate eyes :P

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much Bammers. You truly do spoil me, do you know that?

The end line was...well you know that I changed the ending just so I could use that line. I never really listened to this song before, but when I heard it yesterday, this story immediatly started to form in my mind and I had to write it down :D.

I think we are both big fans of the unpinned style of narrative. It just gives away so much more freedom, and it really helps the writing flow. Also, it helps convey emotion far better when 'he' is used instead of 'his name.'

As for the chocolate eyes, well, I asked myself how he would think of them, and yeah, thats all I could come up with. So, I might not be the most descriptive romantic, bite me :P

Thanks for the review :D


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Review #21, by ElysiumMea Maxima Culpa: Chapter III: Mea Maxima Culpa

1st January 2008:
D I am so sorry it's taken me so long to get to your story! In any case I loved this final chapter.

As tragic and wasteful as Anna's death was, it was necessary to cause a huge shift in Regulus - one that would be enough to cause him to do the things he ultimately did.

I love the way you write and am frequently blown away by the fact that you are not a native speaker - it truly doesn't show... you write more flawlessly than most english speakers I know. Your prose is smooth and lyrical, each sentence slips gently into the next.

The way you tackle the pureblood mentalities in each chapter of MMC is beautifully done. Your insights are exact and piercing but not overstated.

Lovely work darling. 10/10 xox

Author's Response: My turn to apoligize Agent, for taking so long to respond to you *looks guilty*

As a whole your reviews truly make me blush; when I first started writing in another language I never dreamed that I'd be one day getting compliments like this.

Building this story was quite interesting process as whole. In a way there are two stories within it, the past and the present. I'm thrilled to hear that even if the 'past' is somewhat more philosophical and abstract, it didn't come across as being overstated. It was, in a sense, the ultimate practice of showing instead of telling and I'm immensly proud on how I managed to write that out.

What it comes to Anna, I knew from the beginning that she was not going to make it in the end. It was something that had to be done, spoiling the pureness of Regulus...

Thank you again for your reviews, they really lighten my day ^^


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Review #22, by Elysium:

28th December 2007:
Lmao!! Only you would find away to incorporate both wolves and Antonin in a dramione fan fic! :P

The dream sequence was very powerful. His fear and trepidation were clear in the dream - the same fear that we readers felt on his behalf. And yet at the same time you managed to convey it all in this melodically hypnotic sort of prose so indicative of the dream like state. So that although the scene and what was being said by Voldemort (i.e let the wolves have his body) and the violence of that imagery read as though I were viewing it through a watery substance - so that it was distorted and far away. Does that even make sense? I'm babbling.

Needless to say I think you tackled the dream flawlessly.

xox

Author's Response: Yes, that makes a lot of sense. I was trying to incorporate a dreamlike feel...obviously it couldn't be realistic, but yet, it needed something to make it feel real...now I'm babbling as well :P

*Smirks* Of course I had to include the wolves and antonin. Its my anti-plagarism method. I mean, obviously this is my work...who else would have used Dolohov and the wolves? :P

And thanks so much :D


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Review #23, by Elysium:

28th December 2007:
Tranquility - the perfect title for this chapter... the last scene (of him in the library) was imbued with such a gentle tranquility that I felt almost lulled by it.

I love Draco's discription of her 'simple beauty' and the 'faint charm of her smile'.

Your turn of expression and the simple eloquence of your language in this piece is both soothing and delightful. Were I to read it aloud the words would roll of my tongue so smoothly.

I adore the way you are demonstrating the intrigue between the two, softly and curiously as good intrigue should be depicted.

You capture Draco's inner struggle so well - this swirling vortex of emotion within him.

Loverly - as I have come to expect from you :D

xox Kylie

Author's Response: I love you bammers :D Kes is frolicking around very happily right now :D

And I'm seriously very caught up with Draco's character. I think there is so much that could be done with it, but that JK barely brushed the surface of.

As for the simple beauty, well could you honestly picture hermione looking as hot as a runway model? I thought not :P

Thanks for the review! :D


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Review #24, by Elysium:

17th December 2007:
Sami, Sami, Sami!

That ending was beautiful: The mysterious one that he had noted before, the one with the feeling that, until now, had gone unrecognized by him. Yet today, his mind had linked the expression with the emotion, and he realized that she was watching him with concern... *sigh*

This is truly gorgeous. It is as I said before, soft and lilting as I read it. You characterise Draco so well, and highlight the intrigue between the two.

But as I said it is the last line and her look of concern which capture me the most, because it is so indicative of Hermione to feel that way even for him.

The moment were he was avoiding the mirror because of the way it reflected his inner turmoil and exhaustion was divine.

This is a gem. xox 10/10

Author's Response: Draco might just be my new obsession. He might have had a lot more time in the books, but I don't think his character was really explored by JK, which leaves him placed happily in my firm, batty paws.

I love the mirror idea. It came to me on a momentary whim as I looked into my own mirror lol.

And the ending, yes I love it too :D


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Review #25, by Elysium:

13th December 2007:
What a lovely little one shot, Sami! You got into Draco's head so well for someone who never wanted to drag him into a closet.

I think it was the simplicity of this piece that I liked above all else. You didn't over play it and layer it with romance and everything. You just delved beautifully into his thoughts and that one moment of intrigue between him and Hermione was captivating.

Truly your writing style is not nearly appreciated enough.

xox Kylie

Author's Response: *Huggles Kylie* Thanks for the wonderful review :D

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