That was encredibly sweet and not at all sticky. ;) Romantic one-shots don't always incorporate magic, and I'm glad that you added a little something in there. Good job! Report Review
I can imagine that Hermione could be depressed at points during her time at Hogwarts, and you do a good job of showing that, without making it too heartbreaking or the regular teen angst. Good start. Report Review
Remarkable. I loved how you kept the perspective of the characters a mystery at some times. It made it all the more intriguing. I could go on about this chapter, but it doesn't make much sense for the story as a whole. Your writing has grown throughout this story, and I'm just glad that I stumbled onto such a great fic all those years ago. Congratulations on on finishing this; I'm sad that its over, but very glad that you did not dissapoint! Cheers!Author's Response: Ripley! Oh, coming back at the end, lovely!
Yes, I wanted Harry's fate to lie in the balance for a moment there. There are a great deal details and storylines that sadly do not get ended, but I had to keep length in mind. I probably could have added another 2 chapters of ending plotlines, but I decided to end it. The climax already happened in chapter 33/34, carrying on to chapter 37 would just drag the ending on I felt.
But trust me, I am very happy that you came upon my story! It's great to hear my writing has improved (I can imagine it has over 2 years). I'm glad this story is over too, but it is sad to me to say that HPOL is finished. I'm so used to be working on HPOL on one point or another, and there are improvements to be made on it, but not at the moment with all the work I have going on.
But thanks again Ripley for reviewing my last chapter, and thanks for all the reviews and opinions from before. It's been a pleasure to have you as a reviewer, and I hope to hear from you on my other stories as I post new chapters! :) Report Review
Hmm, I'm always interested in other people's takes on Bella's reasoning for enjoying torture and insanity. But this one doesn't quite seem to fit. You mention in the beginning that Voldemort can detect anything in a person's thoughts, but here Bella is, almost regretting every action. Even this 'other' Bella that comes out is interesting, but it still doesn't seem like her at all.
Don't get me wrong, there are good parts. I liked it when Bella explores how she views Voldemort as a father figure, and yet she's scared of him. Very original.Author's Response: Thank you.
I must admitt she is taking a huge risk nearly regretting everthing in his presence but I think at this point she no longer cares...I mean my bella as I like to call her haha...would rather die than keep on living her lie.
As for her being afraid of her father figure...I mean would you be if the most horrible dark and unpredictable wizard in the whole world played your father for your whole life? She probably knew some of the most evil and disgusting things he did that none of his other followers even dreamed of.
But I like to think of Bella like this makes he seem more.real so to speak.
thanks for your review =]
happy reading. Report Review
Hi Rose, just thought I'd take a look at one of your fics, since you were nice enough to leave a review for me! So you're asking if the story is cliche...a little maybe. But I enjoy the style in which you write, it's just the points that you are focusing on are a little cliche. Try expanding this chapter, maybe involving a flashback about Ron's death (so sad!) and why Harry can't stand to be there. We all know Harry is quite bad at working out his emotions, but you could show a little of what he's thinking as well.
I like your narrative; it's not too descriptive and it captures the grief of the scene. If you really want to get the ball moving, I would suggest going to the forums and finding someone to be your beta. It should help with moving your story along, and it's always nice to have someone give a respectful opinion of your story. Good start, and I hope this helps!Author's Response: Ahhh...thank you so much. This is probably the longest review I've ever had and I am loving it. Thanks for your advice, I definately have more ideas after reading it. I was acctually going to had flashbacks later on, and switch from character to charcter during them, but not too much so. I have been thinking about getting a beta (and a banner he he). Thanks so much, I appreciate it so much!!!! Report Review
Oh fluff, you are the best element for a writer's soul. Stevie Nicks, eh? It's different, but it works!Author's Response: haha, thanxx :))
i have a soft spot for the 80's classics. Report Review
"You can't shag in front of me"? Huh? I think you meant to say something else. That being said, you have a good storyline, but it would really benefit to have a beta.
The conversation between Ron and Harry at the end was a bit melodramatic, but you did a good job of finally getting their feelings out in the open.Author's Response: Thank you for the constructive critism. Hmm...a beta. You know it never occured to me that a Beta might be nice to have. haha. I intend on getting one for a few of my other stories but I'm not sure why I didn't get one for this one. Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
Hmm, interesting...Hermione not talking (stubborness coming through?) and Ron planting the seeds of doubt. What's Harry to do? ;)Author's Response: Hmm...I'm not sure. I guess that you'll have to read to find out huh?! haha. Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
This is a story that I always enjoy coming back to. I like the dialouge between Hermione and Harry, and it doesn't get melodramatic, considering the situation. I wish you wrote more stories! Report Review
Woah, I must say that this is my first delving into military-based fanfic. As strange as it is, you have an extremely good narrative. Also, if you're looking for a banner, I would suggest hopping over to 'the dark arts' forum, link is on the HPFF home page. They can get you a banner pretty quickly.Author's Response: Thanks. I owe it all to Sherman and Cragg, whose Starfist novels have shown me how to write a good military fiction. :)
And I'll have to stop by "The Dark Arts" some time, then. Report Review
Not bad, but less is more. You have good descriptions, but it's all very saturated. But I did feel that Hermione was almost drowning in a garden of her own woes, so you have that going for you ;)Author's Response: heehee thanks. i know i can go overboard on the description and it is actually something i am working on, but if you felt she was drowning in this, then i succeeded, lol. Report Review
Intriguing. But whatever happened to the necklace? What was it's meaning? I feel like I've been left hanging. Report Review
Interesting concept. I'm sure we all have those points in our lives; thinking about what we would do and change if we were allowed to be sent back.Author's Response: Yeah, I know I have. Report Review
Boy o boy do I enjoy closets! But I must admit that the part I enjoyed most was the last few paragraphs about Harry knowing Hermione so well, and yet not really when it came to all these new elements that the two are experiencing. Good job!Author's Response: Ripley! Wow, I have seen you in ages! (o: Hehe, you liked the closet, did you? Aw, but you liked the ending... Harry does know Hermione so well, and vice versa. (o: Thanks so much for reading. I haven't had any reviews on this in ages, so it was lovely to hear from you! (o: Report Review
Hmm. It works, but one-shots about destroying the dark lord are never enough for me. You start off well, but everything seems clipped and chopped towards the end... maybe I just need more content. The lyrics of the song are good and they fit, but it also distorts the storyline when you add them into the actual text. Ah well, good try anyway.Author's Response: Well, thank you. Report Review
Lol. I'm pleasantly suprised at this. At first I thought, 'oh no, mary sue' but you do a good job with the humor and I'm interested to see how a student/vampire works at Hogwarts. I'm glad I took up betaing for you! I'm off to read the others.Author's Response: Thanks! It's can be easy to go down the mary sue path with a vampire/hogwarts student if your not careful. So if I ever mary sue her, let me know! ^_^
Thanks, I'm glad too! ^_~! Report Review
Very sweet, and just the right amount of descriptions to capture the moment. I think you did a good job! Report Review
Interesting. I like the backstory that you created, keeping it simple and original with just the right amount of detail. Although I wasn't quite sold on why he was such an evil person, but I suppose you expressed that notion; 'just because I can.' Author's Response: Dolohov was just born evil. That's the only way I can explain it. He never was anything else, never wanted to be anything else, and I had that idea of his character in my head as I was writing this story. That, I think, explains firstly why Tom would seek him out, secondly why he would agree, and thirdly, why he is in fact evil. So yes, Dolohov didn't become evil, instead he was always evil.
Thanks for the review :D Report Review
I think you have some good ideas in here, but your writing is in bits and pieces...so there's not much flow to it and that can cause some confusion with your readers. May I kindly suggest a beta? Author's Response: Thanks! I've been thinking about getting a beta for ages, actually! Thank-you for the advice! Report Review
This is a nice little tidbit of the Marauder's era; it's just the right length and description. I was a little lost as to why there was such a sudden change in mood though; I mean I can understand that Lily's blush might lighten up James' day, but I felt like I missed a moment on Lily's part. Maybe I should read some of that poetry ;)Author's Response: Yeah, that's one of the major problems with this story, it sort of changes too rapidly, but you know, since the reader only gets James' thoughts, it could be something that he too missed. *hopes that it's a good enough excuse* ;-) It's amazing how close that sonnet sequence is to the tale of Lily and James - you should check it out. Thanks very much for reviewing! :) Report Review
Oh! Amazingly sweet! Harry and Hermione's talk was heartwarming and healing at the same time, without getting cheesy. Good job. I'm interested to see how Harry uses his new skills in Legillimens, although it took me a minute to understand how it worked... Report Review
I'm really starting to like the social worker Morgan. You also did a good job of connecting Harry to Hermione in their experiences. I like how you're making Harry out to be the emotional mess that he is, some authors tend to glaze over that because it's easier not to make the character so complex. Report Review
I love how this is going. The story seems like a day in the life of the characters, and it's also equally original. The talk Harry had with Hermione is pretty revealing, and I'm interested to see how H/R's talk really went... Report Review
Hey there Catia! Doesn't it feel wonderful to post the first chapter to your own story? :) I'm glad I could help and I'm happy that you're so inspired to keep up with this story. Can't wait to see where it goes.Author's Response: Yeah, It's really an amazing feelling. :D
This weekend I will finish the second chapter (I hope)... Or else everybody will kill me lol =)
Thanks so much for helping me, Ripley ;) I'm happy you're also liking the fic.
Catia Report Review
Wow. This is very well written, AND in canon. I'm impressed. I was a little confused when the woman came to visit Petunia, but I'm sure you'll bring that element back later. Harry taking down a member of the order; that's certianly a new one. Keep it up! Report Review
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