Oh! I love this, just brilliant. 10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much! Report Review
Love this. For the transfer student story, you REALLY pulled it off. Nice work with the plot and aura of mystery!
"complementary hot cocoa, since it’s so cold. Five sickles per cup.”
I love this, complementarily sold. Nice joke, and great at setting the tone.
Thanks, BEAuthor's Response: I was kind of worried about people's reaction to the transfer student thing, since it's really overused. Lol, I'm glad you like my little joke =)
Thanks for your review!
Lia. Report Review
Chilling. I really enjoyed this, how you subtly hinted at what was happening in terms of location, and found a way to make it clear what had happened. One quick thing, but it's teeny weeny, and somewhat irrelevant: Toujours Pur is the Black family motto, not the Malfoy family. Of course, this is coming from the author of a story that would only work when stretched, because of temporal stuff. Still, super story. Thanks.Author's Response: I wans't writing it as the malfoy family motto I was writing it as in, always pure!! But thats okay, I didn't actaully realise it was a motto at all, cheers!! I'm glad you liked it, I worked really hard on getting the idea for that one-shot. Report Review
YAY!!! FLUFF... and adorable romance! Thanks for a GREAT read, can't think of anything constructive to say, it's already so tight. Report Review
I am amazed by this story. I love seeing this 'missing moment' of how Umbridge was picked, and although not making her seem particularly nice, seeing how she maneuvered not only Fudge, but the majority of the governors easily. I loved Percy's way of titling her, and his stuttering over his words, as well as the lack of trust Fudge puts in him. Report Review
WOW! I am impressed by this story. Since I have never read an Alastor Moody story, this helped me gain insight on this side of his character, and the realism in it. Thanks for a wonderful read! Report Review
"Begging for a chapter update"
Really, really, really, I enjoyed this chapter. I loved your realistic descriptions, with the lack of cliché and the lack of Lily jumping on James, yet still coy flirtation. And yet, it isn't quite flirtation, it's deeper, from James's dialogue with Lily, and her lack of giggles, to her reaction to Sirius and Corinne. Also, the way Lily was introduced to the Potters went very smoothly, unlike the choppy "Hello--Hello--Nice-to-meet-you--Nice-to-meet-you", yet still realistic in using common terms, as in real life. Thanks for a wonderful read. ~~BEAuthor's Response: Haha, thanks for begging. The next chapter is actually completed, but I haven't edited it yet, so expect to see it either today or tomorrow! I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter, and it makes me smile that you're seeing all the little things in the story. Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
Brilliant. I've laughed so hard throughout this--and every chapter in previous updates, of course, also--that my train-of-reading has been interupted multiple times. I love this type of humor, witty, and not just bland, too. Marvelous.Author's Response: Aw, thank you. I am especially flattered you consider my humour to be witty =), not to mention that I managed to make you laugh so much. Thanks for taking the time to leave a review too =) Report Review
TRAGIC!!! (why-oh-why?) I loved the insightf of this story and ideas that were woven beautifully together, especially the setting and POV. In terms of constructive criticism--remember they are 8! Though it doesn't seem much of a difference, Christina seems a bit mature (though there is the above average child in terms of maturity). 10/10Author's Response: Tragic indeed. There was really no other way to end it properly, and I never intended it to be happy. They are indeed 8 years old, though Christina is telling the story when she is around 17 or 18, so she'll recall details in a bit more of a mature manner than an 8-year-old. But thanks for the constructive criticism--it's really very thoughtful, and I appreciate it uber much. Report Review
Yes! This is an example of an excellent three paragraphs that tell an entire story concisely, straightforwardly, yet still with character, voice, and depth to a degree!Author's Response: Thank you!! I was hoping someone would like it; wasn't too sure about it. Thanks again! Report Review
Can't wait until the next chapter! Being an H/G shipper, it irks me not to see them together, but I love the realistic way Draco and Ginny have this awkward-- can I call it... friendship? Anywho, great read!Author's Response: Thank you! I know, I like Harry and Ginny together too, but I'm trying something different here. It's quite a challenge :) thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
Merlin! With these two chapters, you've got me hooked! Keep writing, PLEASE. I absolutely loved this. Report Review
I was on the verge of tears in this. I'm so impressed, I'm astounded. I never thought of it just like this, yet you made it so real! I love the oxymoron of securing her hair in a loose ponytail, like loosely secure, but worded differenlty. That made me smile. I'd like to know who the model on your banner is, please. Thanks for a wonderful story, BE.Author's Response: Thanks, Bittersweet Ending. I'm glad you took the time to leave a review, and I'm glad you liked it.
I've never really thought about how the end will be (i.e. who will live and who will die), but everything just worked out the best this way, for this particular story. None of the other characters seemed to fit perfectly in these parts as well as Harry and Ginny did.
Anyways, now I'm just going to quit rambling. (The picture I just got by searching through Getty Images for a young redhead girl. I'm not sure who it is, though.)
Again, thanks for reading, and thanks for leaving a review. I do love them so much.
~Dark Princess Report Review
Aww! Loved the movie, and besides the skip of the middle, and 'The Geek' as he's called, loved the story. And, in terms of Long Duk Dong and the wedding, I can't think of anything really plausible. Still, wonderful story, I was laughing through much of it. Report Review
Faymos Amos, you have left me speechless by this powerfully beautiful one-shot. The ending was so stunning, it left me breathless, the taste of her tears, reverting back to the title and so perfect. The details like mermaid scales and the flask of baby tears were so simplisticly (sp?) sound with the writing, the sentence structure, that if the story was written in ink, I'm sure the words would be forced to shine. CC- sometimes you call her girl and sometimes woman. This seems a bit inconsistent on Snape's behalf.... Beautiful story, again, thank you for such an inspiring read. Report Review
I love the beginning and ending paragraphs, so simple, yet so perfect! I liked your characterization of Peter, especially how you showed his weakness, but then again showed some of his wit, however emager it may be. CC- "As I glanced around at the five people around the table" This might be clarified to include more description of the five people, like a short paragraph or sentence to describe each one, or five other people. For example, "my hero, James, flicking his hair with a huge grin sitting on his face", or something simple like that so we know that they're not Death Eaters of anything. Great story, like all your other ones! Thanks for a good read!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the CC! I'm planning on going back and editing some of my one-shots at some point, hopefully and I will definately use your CC! Thanks so much for all of your comments and encouragement, they've been really useful! Bethan xxx Report Review
"That story was so BORING and it didn’t make any sense, and it SUCKED!!” NO NO NO! I am in love with this story! That quote is all wrong. I just can't wait for the next chapter. :o)Author's Response: Oh yay! At first, I thought that was actually you talking, then I remembered I wrote that and then I saw quotation marks. . . heheh anyway, thanks so much! I'm almost done with the 4th chapter, but am working simultaneously on another fic, so it's hard to find time. .. but it should be up either today or tomorrow in the queue! Be waiting with bated breath lol. . . THANKS AGAIN FOR THE WONDERFUL REVIEW! Report Review
I've decided to make up an adjective to decribe this story: wonderfabulastisome. Your description of the setting in the first paragraph is so effective, and really helps the reader imagine the room, even though you don't say what color the curtains are or anything like that. I like how she is captivating, and stands out in a crowd. I liked your detail about her determination. CC- I liked your simile at the end, but overflowing doesn't seem like the word for it to me, with her being so full. I think it might be more effective if you said the glass fell, or shattered. Really, a great story. I'm still trying to figure out who she/he is...Author's Response: Ooo thanks so much for all your CC! I wrote this piece for a bit of schoolwork, and I soon realised that as I was writing it I was thinking of two specific characters.
Thanks for the adjective, lol! I will try to take your constructive criticism in - I may go back and edit it soon! Thanks so much for all your reviews! xxx Report Review
Wow! Your characterization of Narcissa was beautiful, showing how she regrets her marriage, and doesn't even know if she should open a door. I loved your use of the word dribbled in the last paragraph, keeping it realistic, instead of a perfect tear. CC- I'd like to see a little bit more description of the tasks he makes her do, and also, what words were on the notes on the mirror? Great story... thanks for a good read!Author's Response: Thanks so much for your compliments! When I go back to edit it I will take in your comments on the description. The notes on the mirror were the description of the tasks which she needed to perform that day! Thanks for reviewing and your compliments, Bethan xxx Report Review
That was wonderful! I loved her mistake, with Lupin. I like how her schedule is oh so rigorous, and the other small details you added. I also liked how you could identify a Malfoy by their blond-ness, kind of a comparison to the Weasleys. I also like how he can pity her, and how he gets called special when she doesn't even know who he really is. I like how they really understand each other, and how it's ironic that her brother actually does. This story really captured how it's a choice to be good or evil.Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review - you're lovely. I especially loved the last line of it, as it was important for me to show that Bella wasn't 'evil' when she was young! Thanks again, Bethan xxx Report Review
I must admit, Cedric and Harry's conversation was hilarious! I liked the whole couple confusion. Although it was slightly unclear at first where he was, I liked how Harry saw Cedric, of all dead people, first, and then him mum. CC: I wish there was more description of thought, setting, and details. It would help clear up some of the confusion I had in the beginning. Also, if you could show Harry's thoughts, tell why he decided to kiss Cedric at that moment, that would also help. This was a humorously romantic story and overall a great read. Thanks!Author's Response: Hey, thanks yourself! =P I know the beginning is a bit confusing, but it's supposed to be like that. Harry's really confused and so the reader is as well. Creates atmosphere, you know? Thanks for the CC, I'll keep it in mind when I do my next edit. Glad you enjoyed it! =) Report Review
This is sweet. I only wish that we could see some of Remus's and Sirius's thoughts before and during the resolutions and the kissing. Your description of the fireworks was beautiful, as was the humor of the idea Disneyland. I wish that you would have added the reasons Remus felt that it would never have happened. Great story!Author's Response: I thought you do see their thoughts... It's from Remus's POV pretty much. I really didnt feel that Remus needed to share why he didnt think it woulf happen. I thought it was understood that it was becuase he was a werewolf. Thanks for reviewing, and i promise i will get to your story when I stop being a lazy... thing. lol Report Review
What an amazingly tragic story. I like how you ended Cissy's suffering so she would not have to bear the thought of a shell for a husband. Your technical stuff was sound, word choice, voice, description included. CC:"Kiss will be preformed immediately" do you mean "performed"? This was a great in terms of showing Cissy's opinions, pity, and disgust. Thanks for a great read!Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked this story!!!!! Yeah, I meant performed. :o) My brain travels slower than my fingers sometimes. Thank you for pointing that out!! I'm so excited that you liked it!! ~Jessi Report Review
Wonderful story. I liked how it was not first person and how it didn't follow a direct plotline, but you distinguished the setting very well. I liked your characterization of Sirius, the simplicity of his excitment. CC: I wish you had added more of Peter's opinions. Was he scared of the door? Great story!Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing (and for the compliments too, of course, that was implied:P)!
I understand what you said about the end... I'll see what I can do about it next time I edit the story :)
Thanks again! Report Review
Twirling her hair, a perfect thing to do. It seems so easy to do, yet can be the most distracting thing. Repetition can sometimes seem out-of-place, but the way you repeated your title phrase fit perfectly. Only thing I'm worried about is Hermione lunging at Ron. I can imagine that, but it just seems awkward, like you meant to use another word but coud not find one. Otherwise, a sweet story, nicely written, and put together well. Thanks for a good read!Author's Response: Thank you. =] Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection