First off, I know some authors wonder how their readers found them. Well, you and I are reading and reviewing the same fanfic, The Bulldog and the Archer. I don't pay much attention to other people's reviews, except when a fic doesn't have so many. When it happens, I check the pages of the reviewers/authors, thinking that if they like the same stories that I like, I might like one of theirs. I've always found some good stories that way. :D
On to the review proper... Gotta love house elves!!! And yours is very good. I'm kind of glad that Blaise treats his right. Now if I had been Blaise, I would have asked him a few questions concerning his guest. 'Misty' probably didn't see Tripp, but if he obeyed his master's order, he must have kept an eye on her all day long.
I would say that Misty is a witch, but... I think that when you suffer from amnesia, you revert to doing the things the way you automatically do them. And she washes dishes muggle-style... so it's a tough one! lol.
-AnneAuthor's Response: Hey Anne!
Yeah, I've seen your reviews on Jim's story as well. I've been meaning to get around to checking out yours (you do have some right?) I absolutely fell in love with The Bulldog and the Archer when I found it. That's why I make sure to take the time and review every chapter of his that I read.
You know, I find it funny that you said that about house elves, because Jim said pretty much the same thing. I'll be honest and admit that Tripp disappears for quite sometime and I remembered to bring him back because Jim said something. So Tripp does make an appearance later on in the story.
And I'm glad to know your suspicions on Misty's magical standing. You will find out the answer to that about halfway through the story.
Thanks so much for stopping by and giving my story a chance.
=^_^= Report Review
Checking your author's page, I saw that you're writing a lot about Draco. So when he appeared in this story, I wondered how you would write him... and I was impressed. You're writing him here as the self-centered 'brat' he was up to the time he became a Death Eater. And I guess that after this, he could reverse to his old habits and be that immature and spoiled young man you're picturing here. Nicely done.
Now, I didn't choose to read this story because of Draco. I saw 'Blaise Zabini' in your summary and I was intrigued. I like reading about those characters JK Rowling created and never developed. And your Blaise already sounds like an interesting young man... I liked your descriptions in this chapter. And the interaction between Blaise and Draco.
Again, nicely done!
-AnneAuthor's Response: Anne,
You know to be honest, I never really thought about how I was characterizing Draco. He's just kind of thrown in there for interaction with Blaise. The story is more about Blaise and Mikayla. And I had a blast creating Blaise. I love him in this story because he's so sweet. And I totally understand what you mean about writing the unknown characters that were more or less just mentioned in passing.
Thanks for the review!
=^_^= Report Review
O. M. F. G! This chapter left me speechless during a few minutes. And while reading, I couldn't even blink, because I wanted to read on. When Hermione fell, my brain started to whiper, "No, no, no..." And it kept going... This is far worse than the worst that I expected. Again, how could you? I don't even want to try to count the dead. Harry... Harry is gone...
*wipes fresh tears*
So Draco is one of the good guys now... I was wondering while reading the previous chapter. So many just died, and I wonder how many more will lose their life in the next chapter. Because obviously, you're not done yet...
I can't wait to read more! I hope you're on it... I want/need to know if the kids are safe.
-AnneAuthor's Response: Anne,
Your omfg had me laughing. I know it wasn't supposed to be funny but... well, what can I say? *is sick*
I'm so glad you loved this! I know I keep saying it, but I was REALLY worried about this chapter because I worked for so long on it and actually rather enjoyed it myself... so I wanted to make certain it translated effectively for everyone else. So far, it seems to have... I continue to hope!
I'm hoping to have chapter 6 up soon- It's with my beta as we speak!
Alright... *takes a deep breath to try to calm down* I can't believe you KILLED him OFF. Charlie... Why, oh why, did you do this?
Well, I had to say it. Oh, no, wait, I'm not done. How could you do this to George?
Now on to the review proper. lol. Of course, the bad guys are the same as before. Will they never learn? I wonder... is Scorpius' father one of them?
I'm glad Luna arrived. George failed, but maybe she and Dennis will get there on time... I hope.
This story is beautifully written, dear.
-AnneAuthor's Response: Anne,
Oh gosh, I know, I know- I'm horribly evil for killing Charlie. But.... well, as you'll see, it was a necessary evil. Thanks for sticking with this, and I can't wait to read your review for the next one! *scurries off*
Oh my... what an eventful chapter! First off, I have to say that I'm with Harry on that one. Poor guy... won't they leave him alone? He went through hell while growing up because of Voldemort and a prophecy. And now the good side won't leave him be the 'normal' person he's always wanted to be. Tsk, tsk, tsk...
And somehow, Hermione is no better. I would want to hide too, if I were in his shoes. And he's right: when are the children old enough? They already have to live with the idea that their parents are famous, and why.
You really did a good job on the part about George. Twenty years have passed, and he's still mourning Fred. But Lee's arrival with Dung, Dung's memory and the new prophecy will help him understand - if nothing else - that he's not dead and he still has a part to play. Now I just hope that he'll get there on time...
Good chapter, Court. A 10, of course. :D
-AnneAuthor's Response: Anne,
Thank you! I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond to all of these reviews- I've been... delayed. :)
That is in no way indicative of my appreciation of your time and kind words though. You know full well how much we as authors love reviews, and I am especially thrilled when I receive yours! You take many risks as an author, and so it's quite flattering when you give your approval on someone else's work! Thank you again, I'm so glad you're enjoying this!
This story is so sweet. You really did a good job! :D
I like how you portrayed Rose and Scorpius. She's truly Ron and Hermione's daughter. And he's a Malfoy, no doubt. But what was impossible before, because of the Wars, because of Voldemort, is now possible. House unity... and friendship - or more - between the children of old enemis. And you did write it beautifully!
I love the interactions between Rose and Scorpius. They are so comfortable with one another... nothing, and above all no family feud, should ruin that. Friendship is not something that you want, or can force on someone - frienship happens. And Rose is no more Hermione than Scorpius is Draco. You made that clear. They are 'writing' their own story - and part of history.
Again, good job, Andy! A well-deserved 10.
-AnneAuthor's Response: Anne! It's been ages! *huggleattackle* come down to the cbox soon, okay?
Whilst writing this, my biggest worry was that Scorpius was far too nice, so for you to say he's no doubt a Malfoy, is the greatest confidence builder ever! Thank you! I'm glad you liked Rose too! :) And you're right, I really do hope House Unity happens.
I think the greatest, albeit scariest, things about meeting new people is the fact that they no nothing about you. In Rose and Scorpius' case, thye know about each other and I think they are quite surprised that they get on. I have a feeling that if it hadn't been dark and they could actually see who each other was, they would probably have let the family feud get in the way. However, it turned out that they liked each other before knowing the other's name and, you're right, you can't force friendship and you have to take it as it comes...however unexpected it may be. My best friend is someone I probably made fun of in year seven, and still, today, we drive each other mad. If we don't let people make their own way...their own history, how boring would life become?
Anne, this was such a wonderful review. Thank you so very much! *huggle glomp - SAYS style* x x x Report Review
Aw, Juls, we so need some fluff, especially at this time of the year. And this story is so cute - and you know I'm still not an Hermione/Draco shipper, even if you're doing your best to turn me into one. :D
It made me go all "awww" inside when I read it, as you were writing it. To be honest, I was almost jealous of Anne! lol.
*sigh* I like this story a lot. You did great. I don't read much fluff, I couldn't write it to save my life, so I'm impressed here.
Huggles, -Anne Report Review
You didn't mean 'broken' literally, after all. lol. I guess I should have read till the end. I didn't expect it to end on Percy...
So Arthur has some foresight? I'm glad Molly is going to be ok, and you didn't write what you had planned to write (I'm sure you know what I mean). This ending is far better, in my opinion. So many more possibilities...
Again, you gave them all more depths. Good job!
-AnneAuthor's Response: Better than having Percy kill Arthur?! (smile)
Thank you, Anne!
Healer Oldive? I wonder what he looks like...
Wow, it is a long and very descriptive chapter (don't get me wrong, not too descriptive!) :D The way you explains the magic binding house-elves, and the spells Ginny, then they all use to help Molly... I'm impressed. JKR never took the pain to really show us what was 'under the surface', beyond the flashes of light and the sparks. You do. :)
I didn't know you meant 'broken' literally! Poor Molly. I guess she's going to need Dobby all the more now.
Ok, on to the next and last chapter!
-AnneAuthor's Response: Yes, I'm sure you do wonder what Healer Oldive might look like :D
I am proud of the final version of this chapter, as I too was concerned about being too graphic. I wanted the reader to feel for what was happening to Molly, but I did not want it to become a distraction, either.
You know I love the elves. The original driving idea behind this story was to put a house-elf in the Burrow. Unfortunately, you have to 'crack' a few eggs, to make the omelette.
The ideas and my descriptions about magic wrote themselves.
Thanks, Anne! I'm so glad you are enjoying it
--Jim Report Review
Oh my... what happened? I'm almost tempted not to leave you a review so I can read the next chapter. That's an evil cliffy! :P
And now Hagrid, Minerva... did you write them all in this story? Well, you did a great job. And you're definitely making them even more dear to me... all of them!
And I wonder what you thought Harry would do during his seventh year...
Very good chapter! Another 10. :D
-AnneAuthor's Response: Anne,
I'm glad to see you so 'giddy' about this chapter. This story was so much fun to write. I am a Hagrid fan for many reasons. You already know I had him in the Secret Keepers. Minerva is such a classic character. We are so blessed to have Maggie Smith portray her in the movies.
As to what I thought Harry would do in his seventh year, I'd like to see him choose the classes he wants, and excel at them, in preparation for his becoming an Auror. I'd like to see the emotion of joy, as he begins to realize how much learning can be when you are motivated to study what he wants to study, as opposed to what he has to study.
Thanks Anne! Report Review
I read this chapter last night and I was about to review when a friend logged in again on WL Messenger. :D
More Harry and Ginny... You should definitely write a Harry/Ginny story - adult Harry and Ginny. I like those two together, and I know you do too, and there is so much to add to the underdeveloped character named Ginny. I'd love to see how you would picture those two in their 20s, or even in their 30s.
It is a bit odd but good to see May through Harry's eyes. I can definitely sense the warmth of the family - even Fleur feels right, as she should, but not many authors like to write her and it shows. And I like how you wrote this story, using one point of view than another, to give us some insight in all of them.
-AnneAuthor's Response: Anne,
Yes I do enjoy Harry and Ginny, and someday I will write them, probably in their mid 20's, but right now there is a lot of good H/G ship stories being written that I am enjoying reading. After Charlie and Mayumi, I will be continuing with Hermione and Ron.
This story is about the whole Weasley family, and it feels right to switch between the different points of view. If it had not been for the DH release, I would have taken this story another few chapters. I do like to include Fleur in my stories when I can. I think it would be a challenge to write a feature story about her, as Bill's wife, sometime in the near future. Maybe my French friend can give me some creative input on that idea someday!
Thank you again, Anne!
--Jim Report Review
You suggested that I might want to read this story if I ever felt... you know. Thanks. It was a good idea. :)
The warmth so characteristic of the Weasley family is there. They are all relaxed and happy, in spite of everything happening in the wizarding world. But the banner and the titles suggest that it is the eye of the storm.
Anyway, it's good to see Molly and Fleur laughing at Bill together. Harry and Ginny being together again... Yes, you love the Weasleys - and their 'adopted' family members - and it shows.
Now, after reading the last sentence, I cannot help but wonder what is going to happen...
-AnneAuthor's Response: Hi Anne,
I'm glad that I was able to communicate those feelings and qualities to you, Anne! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
--Jim Report Review
I'm glad you wrote the first part from Mariah's point off view for two reasons. It's good to share Mariah's thoughts and learn a bit more about her, about her relationships with her half brother and her biological father. And of course, telling this part of the story from the point of view of a character who doesn't know about the Horcrux chase or most of the main stories going on added some mystery.
Your Charlie is a reckless one, isn't he? He flew a dragon... tsk tsk tsk. The git could have been killed! And what would be the story without Charlie? I'm sad Mad-eye died. I've never liked Dung, so...
I'm glad Draco and Harry are able to work together now. What they are doing seems a lot more dangerous than in DH. This cliffy is probably one of the wickedest I've ever seen. Good thing I know you... :D
Very good chapter, dear. Yes, it's probably one of your best.
Anne Report Review
I can feel for Narcissa, if not for Bella and Tom. Poor girl. Of course, she's been taking advantage of her social position and of her beauty, thinking she was a pureblood witch. But just the same, I can feel for her.
Gotta love your Lucius! lol. Poor Narcissa will soon be a puppet in his hands. Will she love him? Does he truly love her? I hope so.
Hate stronger than love... tsk tsk tsk.. No, I can't feel for Tom/Voldemort.
Good chapter. And, see, I remember you! :D
-AnneAuthor's Response: haha!! Anne!! There you are!!
Oh Bella I think got exactly what was coming to her. Even though I love Bella and actually do have some sort of pity for her because of the way I portrayed her life, she still deserved it! l ol
Hmmmmmmmm.......will she love him....does he truly lover her???..... I DON'T KNOW!! lol I'm once again stuck!!
Oh my... I thought I had reviewed this chapter. I'm so sorry, Juls.
Snape reasons and Draco can't help but understand that his mother and her lover did their best... and probably the right things. You did a good job here. It's incredible how the things that hurt can be explained in so few meaningful words...
The next scene is good too, with Draco and Hermione. There's lots of love and tenderness. And understanding. I still don't know how you're doing it, but they work for me, in this story. :D
Good job, dear! Another 10...
-Anne Report Review
Oh my, I feel bad for being so late, Court... :(
Poor Harry. He's always wanted to be 'normal'. A normal wizard, with a normal life and all. It seems he wasn't granted his wish. I liked the scene with Harry, Ron and the kids a lot. And why am I not surprised that Ginny, Hermione and Molly are "madder than hornets"?
I do like a lot how you're picturing them all. How do you manage? It makes a lot of kids to write! Kids with each a different personality... Good job on them all!
Now, of course, you cannot tell, but who is this masked man??? Alright, I'll have to keep on reading, I guess... and I'm glad there is more and more to come! :D
Good job!Author's Response: Anne,
Don't be ridiculous! It takes me months to find time to read and review the things that I want to read- so you are most certainly ahead of me! :)
I feel bad for Harry too, as you can probably tell. Poor guy just can't catch a break. I've got to be honest with you, it freaked me out a bit when I looked at the long list of characters that would need to be included in this fic, but they are really just writing themselves! :)
Alas, you are correct- I cannot reveal the identity of the masked man, but I'm glad you're intrigued! :D
~Courtney Report Review
Aw, you're most welcome, Juls. :)
Like Hermione, I'm glad Harry and Draco can set aside their enmities to work together. They are definitely more mature. You are dealing with a whole range of emotions in this chapter. In the first part, and in the last too...
I'm so glad Severus told Mariah and Draco! He didn't truly do it for himself - he did it for them. They needed to know. They needed the truth, especially Mariah, to finish growing up. The truth can hurt sometimes. But they are strong. And they have each other.
Very well done, dear. :D
-Anne Report Review
Yep, one here too. I liked the action, from one group to the other. You gave just enough details about the effects of some of the spells - those are quite nasty! But the phoenix is even more impressive. May will fit in the Weasley family.
Oh, and Adrian Pucey as a spy from the Ministry - that was good. Poor guy though... But you ended this fic with some humor and a good news. Well done!Author's Response: Thanks Anne! It was an enjoyable One-Shot to write, especially as a side note to the end of "The Secret Keepers".
--Jim Report Review
First off, what did Bellatrix do to Wynter that she died screaming? I don't know why, but I expected more (not necessarily gruesome) details from the man who told me I could add some more blood and gut spilled to a chapter. lol. Especially as Wyll seems rather obsessed with every details that concern his love.
I like the girl's name, Wynter. But now my Wynter is cold, too cold. That was good, all the more so that Wynter was everything but cold when she was alive. She liked to cook. She was warm and loving. And of course she was a Hufflepuff.
It's never easy to create an OC for a one-shot and develop him/her in such a way that the reader will have the feeling that they know him/her when they are through reading. But you did it here. Wynter is a rather well-rounded character, and I can't help but want to read more about her - when she was alive?
Now, Wyll's emotions and feelings. I realized I've been rambling about Wynter, when he is the one who is telling the story. He portrays his love and the life they had, the future they planned. On the whole, he's more focused on his memories than on his grief. The present is numb, with only the pain being acute, and I almost felt it was in black and white whereas the past is bright and full of sensations, color and details. Hm... I'm not sure I'm making sense. lol.
Anyway, you did a good job. Of course, it's a 10. :)
(PS: You have a few typos, at the beginning.)Author's Response: Anne,
Thanks for your review. I just did a bit more editing to fix the typos, and make some other minor adjustments. I think I can finally call this fic completed.
To answer your question: Wynter was set afire, Crucioed multiple times, bludgeoned and partially disembowled and then Bellatrix transfigured Wynters own lose intestines into snakes and had them atack her. Luckily Will doesn't know the specifics of most of this and Susan isn't going to tell him. It was an awful death.
But through all that Wynter never stopped trying to fight, at least not until she saw Susan go down trying to save her. And Bellatrix left her and Susan in agony to die and Will found them both, sans the snakes thank Merlin.
The intestines part (w/o) the Snakes (I just made that part up now), was in a previous version of this, (I talked about the bloody sausage sticky on the floor)but I recently edited it out. I decided the grossness was ruining the mood of the story and her injuries and the way she died were bad enough without it. And I didn't want people to be sickened by the grossness and not read the story.
Plus I realized she had been moved and some of the more grievous wounds would have quickly cleaned-up just for appearance. Wynter died fairly early in the battle to. She was dead before the 'intermission'.
I don't know if I can fit her into any other story, it might make me sad and her personality is such that she would always be in the deep background. She's even shyer than Hannah and as Will says not much of witch. And her story was mostly told here (at least in the standard DH timelines) I might give her a cameo as Hannah's friend Wynter somewhere or another. But this is really her story even more then Wyll's even though it is told by Wyll.
And thank you for mentioning the black and white and color thing for the present and the past, that is about what I was striving for.
Thank You for the review, Anne.
DA Jones (Sandy) Report Review
Wow! It was a very good chapter indeed - worth the wait. I shouldn't be talking of "waiting" though, since it took me forever to read and review it. Sorry. *blushes*
A whole chapter from Tom/Voldemort's point of view. But of course you didn't have much choice. And it was very well written that way. I wonder what is going to happen now. Poor Narcissa... Well, of course, we know that she married Lucius and all, but are you almost done with this story?
Good job... as always. :D
-AnneAuthor's Response: Hmmmmmmm, I don't know. I think I may be close to closing it. I may want one more bang! Report Review
I really enjoyed reading this story. It is original and well written. You did a good job!
I was almost as surprised as Harry when Johann stated that he couldn't go farther with him. Almost, because then I thought there would probably be someone else. Hm... Johann is rather powerful - but not all powerful, of course. He needs his friends. So I guess his magic(s) work(s) better in, let's say a forest than a castle?
Somehow, I knew there would be a dragon, and of course he is living in caves inside of a mountain. lol. A dragon that can turn into a man - that was interesting. Dragon's magic sounds interesting. And Fawkes came and became Harry's pet. I truly thought that it would happen in canon...
Harry proved himself worthy of the legacy Dumbledore left for him during this trip. I cannot help but wonder why Lily Evans made the trip. But I guess it's another story. I noticed that you thought too that Harry wouldn't have to stay more than twenty-four hours at the Dursleys. Obviously, JK Rowling disagreed. Oh, well... As for the ending, it was the perfect sweet ending.
Another 10, of course. :)
-AnneAuthor's Response: Thanks very much, Anne! I really appreciate it.
And you are absolutely right about Johann. Though it may seem he is very powerful outdoors, that IS where his magic excels. Indoors, he would be at a disadvantage.
I too, wished for the return of Fawkes in canon. I think you can now see how much I enjoy magical creatures!
The ending came about suddenly, as originally, it was far too short. I'm not sure what inspired the idea about the clock, but I am very happy with it!
Someday I may write a shortie about Lily Evans and Aramys.
Look for more reviews from me this weekend!
--Jim Report Review
I don't know if they could have apparated "there", wherever it is, but it would certainly haven't been the same. This whole trip is like some rite of passage - or so it seems to me. Harry is learning a lot as they are walking, and growing up a lot. About himself, about the world he lives in, about magic, about the people he loves...
I like how you expanded the Potterverse here. Have you done some search on the different kinds of magic? Harry is learning that what he's been taught is only a small part of what magic is, and it sounds like he now truly belongs to... well, whatever it is. Maybe just a bigger world that the one he thought he was born into.
Johann is a well-rounded character. As he was talking, I was wondering whether you wanted "your" Dumbledore to know some of those things too - he was supposed to know a lot more about magic than most - or if he only studied Western magic? Of course, I'm probably reading too much here. lol. I do that a lot.
Now, the connection between Harry and Ginny. It's kinda strange - but sweet, of course. Of course, it kinda helps Harry finally seeing the light about his friends and about the love of his life.
Again... good job!Author's Response: Anne,
You are certainly correct in that the 'journey' is a 'rite of passage' and indirectly reflects and supports the ideas that the world is a much bigger place than what Harry is used to. Though I do not teach, I have some of that quality in me. I have a healthy dose of respect for those who do teach. In this story, as in most of my stories, I want the reader to think of things in slightly different ways.
This story was a lot of fun for me to write. I did plenty of research for this story (Wikipedia is great!), mostly about the different places that are mentioned, and some of the cultures centered around them in the past.
Keeping in mind how old Dumbledore was (180ish?), I think he knew about a lot of things that were never discussed. I would expect him to have been well traveled, and of course, we all know him to be well informed.
Regarding the connection between Harry and Ginny, more than anything else, I think it was my way of keeping an undercurrent of warmth and romance alive in his life, and in the story. I do subscribe to the idea that there can be a 'connection' between two true lovers, whatever that may actually be. In this story, it just felt right.
As always, Anne, thank you very much for the time and consideration you have given to my story!
--Jim Report Review
The first part was great. What got me hooked to the Harry Potter series was Harry himself, the poor little boy who was growing up with no love and yet was a good boy. So it was great to read his thoughts about his new clothes and shoes. He was like a kid on Christmas day! You even thought about making Harry think that he looked two years older. I couldn't help but laugh at that - but for a teen, two years make all the difference! lol.
What kind of magic is Johann's? He's an intriguing character, and you developed him very well, very smoothly. I like characters that are developed through their words and their actions and with little details here and there, and not as one whole block of writing that the reader soon forgets about. Good job!
Johann is all the more intriguing that he's travelling with two bears, a falcon, he was friends with Dumbledore, he's still friends with Hagrid, he saved Arthur and Charlie's life and he was taught by Nicolas Flamel. The scene in the train was good, by the way. I liked the details there too.
I read your response to my first review and I hope you liked the first chapter of Two Lives... That is my "baby" and I'm always nervous when people read it. lol.
But I'm digressing. Good job on this chapter!
-AnneAuthor's Response: This was my first story, and I was so happy how fast and easy everything came to me. I had the entire story plotted out and outlined, which always makes everything easier.
I wanted to tackle Harry's angst problems because, at the time, I thought JKR had gone a touch too far with his angst problems, in one or two of the books. I felt Harry really needed someone 'outside of the box' to show him new points of view and to expand his perception of the world a bit. More examples of these thoughts will present themselves in the next chapter.
The only regret about Johann that I have is that when I first started writing him, I did not realize that he, like Hagrid, is some 80 yrs old! I accidentally made them of almost equal age.
Johann started out as a Bard. Very independent and outdoorsie, manipulating magic through the use of musical instruments (woodwinds and horns). I did not want to pigeonhole him too much in this story, though. Once again, I want the reader (and Harry) to think outside of the box, and consider that all practitioners of magic do not have to be text book Wizards and Witches.
Regarding his companions, I enjoy writing about animals quite a bit. I hope you like their involvement in Chapter 3.
Thanks for the chance to share, Anne!
--Jim Report Review
First off, I have to say that the first paragraph was probably one of the most surprising first paragraphs that I've ever read, either in the realm of fanfictions or in any book. I liked the imagery there. It was like drawing the scene, one detail at a time, so the reader can picture it more easily. The details may sound trivial, but not in the context - they make the scene all the more vivid and realistic.
Now, your OC, Johann Orbaen... He is intriguing. Hagrid said that he was different and I wonder what makes him different from any other wizard. But of course, since he's a friend of Hagrid, and obviously Dumbledore trusted him, he must be on the good side. Hm... and does that paw belong to him? (I know, I always ask too many question - I'm worse than a 2-5 years old! lol.)
I wonder where Johann is taking Harry. And for once, his best friends won't be there to help him - not that they have always been there when real action begins. And the mere fact that you devoted them a part at the end may indicate that they aren't going to sit and wait for Harry's return. I guess I'll see... but not tonight. It's already so late here and I'm rambling.
Good job!Author's Response: Hey Anne!
Being an artist, I appreciate your comments regarding that first chapter. I treasure moments when that kind of imagery comes to me and I have a chance to catch it with words. I think it also reflects on the state of mind that Harry was in at that point in the story line.
Your questions will be answered soon, I promise! Johann is an old character I developed years ago for another original story that I hope to finish some day.
I've read the first chapter of Two Lives in One, and will be rereading it later to write a review.
Hope you enjoy the rest of the story! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing it.
--Jim Report Review
You reviewed the first three chapters of my novel, so I thought I would check out your author page. And when I saw this one-shot, I remembered you had posted a thread in the forums - I think you wanted some help with the title - and I was curious. :)
It was sweet. I really liked the story, and your style flows, making it even easier to enjoy. However, some parts seem a bit rushed. For example, in the last part, you wrote that Rose and Scorpius have been friends for long, yet I did understand quite the contrary from reading the rest. So maybe you could imply that a bit in the charm class scene? It's just a suggestion, of course.
Actually, if I enjoyed reading the story as it is, I think that you could turn it into a two-chaptered short story. It would give you more space to develop it some more, and your readers would have twice as much to read!
Of course, I'm not talking about deleting this chapter! If you decided to take my advice, you would only have to add some more to the first part. Then you would post the end, with some additions, as a second chapter. Again, it's just a suggestion. You are the author, so you are the boss here. I don't like people to tell me how I should have written a scene or a story. And it's not what I'm doing here. I guess that what you wrote here leaves the reader wanting some more. lol. You have a very good story, and it wouldn't need much tweaking to make it great. ;)
Alright, I hope my review makes sense, because it's rather late where I am. :D Top mark.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I'm about to start writing a sequal to this story. Report Review
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