Wow! What an engagin OC you've got here! I really like your writing style -- we see inside his head but you don't get bogged down in sentimentality that seems to mar so much fanfic writing. I sense you are enjoying the freedom of these next-gen characters and it shows; everything seems absolutely plausible and real. Keep going with this wonderful story! Author's Response: Wow, thanks a lot for reviewing! I feel incredibly flattered. Yes, I enjoy creating realistic OCs, so I'm really glad it's showing! Thank you again! Report Review
This story was breath-taking. I was so moved by this portrayal, although it was so sad as to leaving my almost dripping into the floorboards. I almost had the feeling of nuclear winter here -- I don't know if that was the type of atmosphere you were going for, but it was very, very effective. Nothing good comes from war, even for the victor. Your character portrayals were absolutely canon and very well done. The flashbacks were imaginative and exciting. An especiallly creepy touch was the descriptions of the lake, and most dramatically, the idea that magic has been torn away from Harry forever. So very sad because we know what that means to him from his many references to loving it from the books. You should be proud; this was a wonderful story!!Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for your review, I was certainly after a feeling of desolation, so I'm pleased that came through, angst on this scale is not something that I normally aim for in my writing, but I fancied a challenge!Once again I'm glad you liked it, and that you took the time to leave such a nice review. Report Review
WOW!! One of the better Harry 'n Ginny 'n the Big Talk fics I've read yet (and I've read a LOT of them). Your writing is very mature and what each character says is absolutely true-to-canon. Ginny's arguments made so much sense I'm surprised the poor boy didn't crumble right then. Oh well, he never was one for logic. I look forward to seeing more from you! Report Review
Once again, you've wowed me with your fluid, lanquid, beautiful style. And I just love it when an author is not afraid to challenge their reader a bit, encourage them to peek into worlds unknown. For instance, I had no idea what the word 'sward' was! When I must pull out my dictionary from time to time with an author -- that's just something special and wonderful!!
And I would like to present a different opinion from a reviewer before. Slash does not necessarily mean sex sex SEX! I think that's what turns most folks away from it, all that bumping and grinding. You've shown here that same-sex pairs can express/give emotions and share quiet intimate moments without automatically falling to the ground in a tangle. There is something wonderfully cerebral about this relationship, and I for one found it quite refreshing to read in a fanfic.
Thank you so much for the lovely read!Author's Response: Your reviews-- they're so generous! Heheh. I really appreciate that you're taking the time to write a thought-out review. :) Ah! And that's what I like about writing as well; by doing so, I'm prompted to explore the dictionary and thesaurus in search of vocabulary to use in stories.
Mm, quite true. I don't write a lot of smut, to be honest.... It's rather challenging, actually. But you present a good point; I think it is the x-rated content that drives people away from slash fics, though, funnily enough, that's also what draws a lot of people to it. It's good to have a mix of both, though I'm rather partial to the fluffy shounen-ai. Ooh...but Sal and Godric aren't always so cerebral. x3 They're really a delightful pairing (my favourite!), and the fact that Rowling doesn't tell us much about them gives writers so much material to work with. I really hope to see more of it on HPFF, since...I can't find any authors other than myself around here writing it! xD
And again-- thank you so much for your thoughtful review! Report Review
Whew!! Where did you spring from?? Your writing is, to speak plainly, fantastic! So descriptive, so flowing, so lyrical -- I feel as tho I'm reading a published author. I can actually feel the heaviness of the summer heat in the air! Bravo!!Author's Response: Heheh, thank you so much! I am very flattered that you consider my work worthy of publishing.... ^___^ It will be a long time before I ever have a shot at getting published, but writing is a very enjoyable hobby. Report Review
Oooo. . . this was fun! I loved the little tussle between your pair. She's a feisty one, ain't she? The head butt to the nose was brilliant -- kinda woke him up then.
Your introspection of Draco is wonderful as usual. Don't feel the need to rush; I just adore development like this; gives us a good ground to know what's in his head first, before the action starts. And it's just as nice NOT knowing what's going on in Mariya's head; keep her nice and mysterious. Very, very nice -- keep 'em coming!Author's Response: ahh, you have made me so happy! i'm glad you like the character developement. with my last story, i think I went a little too fast. I'm trying to slow things up with this one. =) Report Review
You have quite a knack for letting us see into Ginny's feelings and thoughts and it was very lovely. You showed her as a charming, self-assured girl, who suddenly realizes that she will be all alone with the others going away. Because of her special letter, she now has something secret, private and special to hold onto. Very nice. Thank you for the lovely read!!Author's Response: I love Ginny's character so it was great to write about her for a change :) Yes, her letter is something that she will hold on to, I wonder if I could continue this story? That would be fun :) Thank you so much for reviewing this story. This was my first challenge and I was so excited to be a part in it :) Report Review
I had lots of fun reading this; you made me laugh out loud on a number of occasions. I like how sneaky the boys are trying to be, and how they can't fool Lily too easily. Your descriptions were very smooth and flowing and helped tremendously draw the reader in. Thanks so much!Author's Response: I am glad you liked the story! Thank you for your review, it's very flattering :). Report Review
You have an extraordinary talent for honing in on and then highlighting each characters varying emotions, and that makes it just that much more personal of a read! Very nice! You dialogue is superb; I wish I could do that good!! Thanks so much for this great story! Report Review
Oh this was a classic, fun fight! Lily & Snape, what a combination! It looks to me like you had a great deal of fun writing this, and you made your readers join in on the games! Bravo -- thank you so much!!Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it. I did have so much fun writing this story, and it was my ultimate goal to pull the readers in. I'm so glad I accomplished that. Thanks! :) Report Review
This was a ton-of-fun to read!! I especially liked the Marauders 'rules'; they were a classic! If you stump over on the Forum, you should put them in your signature! Thanks for the fun read!!Author's Response: Thank you! Marauder rules are fun for any situation, and I wish I was cool enough to follow them, but alas, I am a square...Digression again...Thanks! Report Review
I had so much fun reading this, especially the historical aspects of it. I really felt as if I had moved back in time from your descriptions. You really brought out the gentler qualities of Salazar; so many people just make him a villian and leave it at that. You showed us there are two sides to each issue, and it was lovely. Thanks so much!Author's Response: much thanks! i love writing about the "other side" of stories. you make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. of course, we authors are suckers for reviews.
This was a haunting little tale, very sad and yet beautiful at the same time. I like the emotion you wrote into it, terrified, mourning and slightly hopeful too. I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for the read!Author's Response: Thank you...I liked the way it turned out. I think the emotion is what makes it good, too. Report Review
Yours was a touching, sweet and sad story and I loved it. Such beautiful, descriptive writing! I really like how it had not much action, but TONS of introspection and subtext -- very nice. You have a distinctive writing style that is lyrical and almost poetic. Thanks for the lovely read!Author's Response: Thank you for such kind compliments! :) Report Review
This was an absolutely lovely story. Although I don't know if that is the right phrase; I know when I got done reading it, chills REALLY ran up my back. I love the creepy, forbidding atmosphere you give this at the end. I just love those kind of stories, stories with a nifty little twist at the end. Thanks so much for the lovely read!Author's Response: Thanks! Chilling stories are a nice to read, aren't they? I'm glad you liked the story :) Report Review
Once again, you've got another winner here. This was very lyrical and you've managed to portray beautifully the sweetness and sadness all at once. I usually don't enjoy Draco/Hermione pairings; you are a true exception. Thank you for this wonderful read!!Author's Response: In order to write this, I watched a Draco/Hermione video about a million times. The lyrics of the song were very powerful and they made me write this Hermione who is only present in Draco's memories - which becomes for him some sort of a refuge from where he cannot and doesn't want to come out. But I know what happens next - Harry comes with Ron and they manage to shake Draco to reality. It's all for Hermione, anyway. Report Review
This is one of the most beautiful, powerful things I've ever read. I'm practically speechless. I thought I had left a review before, but I guess not. I checked back because I've recommended this to some friends. Thank you for the lovely read!!Author's Response: It was a big experience for me as well to work on this story - a lot of backstory and details came to life on the way! I am not perfectly satisfied with it, to tell you the truth, but nonetheless, your comment makes me really happy :) Report Review
A really good introspective look into Ron's emotional turmoil. You've also shown a beautiful side to McGonagall; she's another one of those oft over-looked characters, which is a shame because she has the potential to be so deep. This was lovely and I enjoyed it immensely. Thanks!!Author's Response: I was worried that I was being a touch too sentimental, but I think this chapter worked out in the end. Let's see what you think of this version of Minerva as the story progresses. Report Review
Oooo, as Scrimgeour says, this WILL be fun! What a magnificent plot twist!! I'm absolutely giddy!!
I'm always please to see Moody back in a story -- he's one of my favorites -- and you gave him some telling dialogue. My favorite part was the 'not having an appetite for this anymore' speech. Perfect! Do any of the young ones really know how this feels, to be so tired of the fight, whatever it is, that you truly want to hang the lot of it? I don't think it's until you get to be our age that we really feel the enormity of that kind of statement. Bravo!
I'm really, REALLY looking forward to seeing what you have cooked up, or rather what Lupin has cooked up. You've got Harry going back to Hogwarts and the Ministry heavily involved in one fell swoop.
(and I did NOT miss your cryptic little comment at the end of your last review/reply about the Weasleys . . .)Author's Response: Ah, the Ministry of Magic: the people we all love to hate! Moody will feature quite heavily in the coming chapters, so I hope you like the way I portray him.
As for the crack about the Weasleys, it could just as easily apply to anyone else in the story. >:-) Report Review
Hey! I LIKE syrup on my sausages -- what's wrong with that?! Anyway, great fun, once again. Sirius and his tantrums, will they never end? You've written him as such a volatile, passionate young man. Which is, of course, truely canon, because in the books he's a volatile, passionate older man. And Remus, whom I'll call the 'great observer'; I am just LOVING this guy more and more. I see a bit of a kindred spirit in him. A loner, feeling like he's on the outside looking in, then being utterly perplexed when someone reaches through that barrior.
I really like your Dumbledore. He is quiet, gentle, yes -- but firm and even a bit testy with Sirius's rage. Very dimensional; usually fics portray him very flat-ly (ick, yucky grammer alert).
And lastly, your halting conversation between Remus and Sirius, trying to work through not only their feelings, but the awkwardness of their sexuality coupled with societal labels -- inspired, just damned inspired. I think you and I have had similar friends/experiences from our college years (something about those artsy people . . .), and I suspect our circle of friends included many like this pair. It brought back so many memories . . .
Thanks again for the thoroughly enjoyable read!!Author's Response: Wow! Your review has left me grinning like Sirius with a mouthful of snow (you'll see) and now I have to compose myself enough to answer... hehe What you said about Remus and Sirius in the first paragraph is the best compliment! Exactly what I was hoping for with this one. And don't feel bad about the syrup thing- I used to do it, too before I stopped eating meat. Hey, at least you don't butter yours! When I wrote that part, I was thinking of Homer Simpson growling at the breakfast table, "Butter your bacon, boy, butter your bacon!" Hehe (another Simpson reference! We're on a roll)I'm also happy you liked Dumbledore, because I wanted just that: a bit of Harris and a bit of Gambon. I think Dumbledore knows which students need the firmness and when to use it ;)I'm betting you're right about the friends! Oh artsy people. I'm glad you said that. I always wonder if halted conversation comes across clearly to the reader.I submitted Ch. 8- so at the moment, at least, I'm still one step ahead of you! A million bajillion thanks for the funny and thoughtful review, PM! Report Review
I'm going to start this review strangley. I live in the Great Plains in the US, in an area of the country euphemistically called 'tornado alley'. It's named this because the topography is such that we get the most tornadoes of anywhere on the planet. Having lived here most of my life, when a storm is coming, you just know when it's a 'normal' storm, and when it's something different, something to be watching out for. There's a special tingle in the air, and a strange color to the sky, and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach -- something bad is coming.
That's the feeling I'm getting now. I'm not exactly sure how you did this -- perhaps it's the happy atmosphere at The Burrow, juxtapositioned against the horror about to enfold Heel -- I dunno. I'm just creeped out. Your lone sentence about the table of presents gave me the heebee-jeebees.
Now to the good stuff. The tussling scene with Harry & Ron was delightful. These two don't get to have much pure fun; usually they just have these dumbfounded expressions on their faces. I enjoyed it. And the wedding -- inspired!! The vows were wonderful -- head and shoulders above anything else I've ever read of a fictitional, non-christian wedding (and that includes many published works too). You really bring home the 'community' of wizarding folk here, with their participation in the blessing. Wonderful.
Heel's terror was well realized in your descriptions. It's always a bit sadistically fun to see a low-life 'baddie' like this get his comeuppance. The poisoned atmosphere surrounding Voldemort was chilling and brilliant. Thanks so much for the read!!Author's Response: I'm glad you're still reading and reviewing! Sometimes I worry about leaving too many obvious clues in the text or going over the top with characters like Heel or Voldemort. When a story does this, it's all too easy to lose your readers!
I was determined to show at least a little piece of horseplay between Ron and Harry as this should be the normal state of affairs for boys of their age. It shouldn't all be doom and gloom. Also, as you point out, it helps to highlight subsequent horrors. >:-) Report Review
What a fascinating little piece! How perfectly you've captured the ambiguity and facelessness of modern medicine. I especially like your descriptions of the hospital, especially all of the 'signs'. That's one of the first and overwhelming things one notices, isn't it, when one enters a hospital -- all those damn signs! So many that I usually end up just standing there at a cross-roads, stuck in a kind of paralysis, staring at all those signs. This was delightful!!
I think one of my favorite lines was from the old man; ". . .knowing nothing is less important than who you really are." Oh that was phenomonal!! Exactly how one feels 'in the system'. Thanks again for a lovely read!!Author's Response: PropMaster, what an unexepcted (and most pleasant) surprise this is to see you here!! I have only read what you've written on the blogs and *slaps self* never actually thought of checking your Author's page out! I'll get right on it then, but of course, I still thank you for reviewing my story! Wow, you have an awesome way of describing my thoughts exactly on the subject: all those damn signs!! LOL! Yes, and I think that was precisely what poor Pomfrey was thinking walking up and down the halls, trying *not* to get lost! Haha! And you ever notice how they like to color-code the floors with corresponding sign colors? I was afraid this piece might sound too "fluffy," and so I'm glad it didn't come across that way. Ah, and if only the system would just change... but no, it's already too fouled up as it is: any change now would simply make the situation worse!! Thank you for reviewing, I greatly appreciate your words! Matt Report Review
This was so damned beautiful, I can hardly find words. It's clear from the outset that you love your word-crafting. You enjoy the ebb & flow of description melded with thought, and it shows. It's quite lyrical, your writing style; I feel almost as if I've just read a poem or dipped into prose. Very, very nice.
I don't think it's necessary to provide a complete, detailed road map for your reader. Like you've just done, it's just fine to give them a vague, almost impressionistic view of your story/vision, then let them and their own experiences slip in and fill in the spaces. It may not be everyone's cup of tea; some people WANT AND NEED to be led by the hand into everything, especially the younger readers. But the patient ones and those eager to experience something new and exciting will be your grateful audience.
Again (if my gobbly-guk above hasn't said it yet), thank you for the lovely read. I enjoyed myself immenseley!!Author's Response: Another brilliant review from you, PropMaster!! Well damn, thank you!! =)) I do love word-crafting, and the "ebb-and-flow" you talk about is something I feel comes naturally to me. I attempt exactly what you've outlined ... by creating an "impressionistic view" I believe I can allow the reader more room to imagine what he or she chooses to, and your understanding of this is simply fantastic!! I used to be a young writer once, crafting supercilious narratives of adventure and fun... but you just realize one day that the readers who you should be reaching out to are not there to delve in fluff, they want stories that are both hard-line and real. I cannot tell you how much it means to know I may have accomplished that (at least with this piece)! And I bow my head to this grateful audience who, apart from taking the time to actually review, is also perfectly in tune with the reality of storytelling and experienced enough to comprehend the deeper meanings in the written word! I am glad you enjoyed yourself, come back anytime ! =)) Matt Report Review
There were some real 'chortle' moments in this one. 'Moonykins', 'shrieked like a schoolgirl', and 'tart everywhere' had me rolling. Honestly -- my poor laptop! And even the title of this chapter -- inspired!
Looks like my instincts were good on someone from the Black family being the culpret. Regulus -- now THERE'S a name that I think will become prominent in book 7. The relationship between him and Sirius is intriguing; such a strange family dynamic.
And ah gawd, the head-rub thing. My husband calls it my 'off switch'. That's what he does when I'm all riled up and can't sleep. Puts me out like a light. Very cool of you to have it here. It's a kind of innocent intimacy between these two and that's sweet and teasing at the same time. Very, very nicely done!!Author's Response: Oh, look at who else is a night owl? Can I just say again how pleased I am that you enjoy my sense of humor? And yes, you were dead on about the Black family. Something about a silver spoon just seemed right, you know? Har har. But I stick by what I said before- there will be more to come of that storyline at a later time.Ha! The headrubs get you, too! I was thinking of my best friend when I wrote that one, as he melts into a puddle whenever I give him a headrub. Personally, I'm a sucker for a back scratch. I'm glad you spotted the intimacy! Goodnight, my friend. I submitted chapter 8 tonight and I expect Bibbs will have it validated soon for all to see! Report Review
Well now, haven't you given us a lovely little scene to be starting with? Honestly, I know sexual tension is good for hooking and reeling 'em in, but through 6 books?? Hey JK, come read Fish and Bird -- he knows about resolution! Your decission to place this early in your story tells me two things: that you (like myself) are tired of all the hem-hawing around and want Ron and Hermione to GET ON WITH IT ALREADY; and now that THAT'S done, you can concentrate your energies on the meat of your story, without this teeny 'cloud' hanging over us. This particular reader wants to stand up and applaude heartily (which would result in unfortunate circumstances for my laptop). Bravo!!
I've rarely read a Ginny that I particularly cared for. She's usually written too cartoon-y; either slutting it up for Harry or bawling over his iminent demise. You've shown us a much more competent, compassionate and insightful young lady, someone I believe who was heavily hinted at in HBP. Lovely job!
I LOVED the byplay between Heel and Borgin. They're both so deliciously BAAAD! You have some wonderful subtext with these two; I especially enjoyed the 'thespian' comment (chortled out loud, in fact). A parish ledger?! Now THAT pops up some interesting theories! I'm still enjoying myself immensely -- thanks for the read!!Author's Response: One of my very early reviews contested that Ron and Hermione were acting out of character. It was a point well made, but I have two major reservations with this particular objection. The first is that thr Ron and Hermione of today are not the Ron and Hermione of tomorrow. Events cause us all to change, be they the birth of a child or the death of a mentor. The second is that they are in the middle of a declared war to which Dumbledore had just fallen casualty. If that didn't light a fire under their tales and get them past their youthful timidity then nothing would.
I'm glad you like this version of Ginny but I'm still not sure that I do. I think that she's a bit too 'wise' for her age. It's difficult to judge when we've seen so little of her!
To finish off, if you liked the interplay between the two baddies in this chapter whai until you read 'Old Friends'. I think it's chapter 13 and to date it's still my personal favourite. Thanks for your review! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection