Reading Reviews From Member: Blue Flame
  
279 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Blue FlameAn Unlikely Confidant: An Unlikely Confidant

13th August 2011:
Kudos on having an idea I've not seen before! I think it was positively fascinating that he'd find himself talking and semi-confiding in Myrtle, of all people. It was awesome to get into Draco's state of mind for a bit, to really get a feel for how daunting this task was and how having to do it was eating at him. It's also really realistic and makes me feel for him that he actually cried-- some might argue it's OOC, but it really is realistic considering he's sixteen with a horrible task and the threat of death over his head-- it's practically inevitable he'd break down like this at one point.

Both he and Myrtle were spot on, characterization wise, and I really did enjoy the interaction between the two of them. ^^ She seems the perfect person for him to be talking to -- a ghost who just wants conversation and doesn't necessarily question what it is he's doing for the Dark Lord.

It really felt like a moment that could be missing from the sixth book! The only bit of critique I have is that the spacing seems to be wonky between some words? Such as here: ' problems, as did I' - I took out the spacing here, but just wanted to point in the direction of one of them. =)

Otherwise, this was awesome! Unique and certainly a good peek into Draco!

-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #27, by Blue FlameMorning Resolutions: Lily's Big Decision

13th August 2011:
Aaah this was adorable beyond words! It was highly amusing at points and I really couldn't help but laugh when Lily told them what she wanted to be! I think it was honestly believable and it's so lovely to see that Molly is such a good role model, that Lily would want to be like her. =P

As well, the bit where they laugh and she nearly starts to cry is oh so believable. This was positively adorable and I think my one negative thing would be it is way too short for my liking. =P I'm like..craving more adorable-ness.

Awesome job! ^^
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I'm glad you found this believable! It isn't very often that I write something happy, so I was wary of this piece!

Yes, many people have said that my pieces are way too short! I guess I love people wanting more, who knows.

Thank you for the lovely review!


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Review #28, by Blue FlameFlying High: A Bad Day

13th August 2011:
Awh, this was an adorable one-shot!

I'm going to throw the critique in and then get to the good stuff. ^^ 'He had been here' - might be better off as there? Else it almost sounds like you switch tenses for a moment. 'Come one, Teddy!' - should be on. And 'Victoire told hi quietly'- just missing the m there. =)

Otherwise it was cute! I think it's something I could definitely imagine happening and the fact Victoire came to comfort and really force him to rise above it for a bit was lovely. ^^ I always love this pairing, so seeing that kiss at the end definitely left my inner shipper happy. And a very fitting, well placed quote!

Well done!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing that stuff out! I really appreciate it. Thank you so much! This was such a nice review. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it.
~Kat


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Review #29, by Blue FlameAnnabel: Annabel

13th August 2011:
Awwwh, poor Louis! I was definitely feeling absolutely horrible for him as things went on, and irritated with Annabel for causing him such pain! D=

I think what might help is a quick sweep through of the chapter-- there were some points where you added a word or missed one, or just missed a letter. I also think you might have been missing a comma in some places, to break up a sentence- those evil grammar gremlins that bite us all. =P' jaw. Why' - and here, just forgot to put the " to let us know it was going back to dialogue. ^^

Other than that, I liked it! I'm kind of wishing there was another chapter, because I'd love to see where Louis goes and what he does! It was sweet and heartbreaking, but lovely none the less and certainly realistic in that, unfortunately, sometimes love slips by and the person you love goes to someone else!

Well done!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thank you for your review :) I'll look this over :) I just might give this another chapter just because I suddenly fell in love with Louis.

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Review #30, by Blue FlameYou Spin My Head Right 'Round: The Third Time Charm

13th August 2011:
*shifty* I could have sworn I'd already reviewed this but I looked and I hadn't...whoops? D=

Anyways, this is certainly an idea I've not seen before on the forums. It's interesting to have Snape had a concert, and both of your OC's were lovely. =P

'Why was it always the redheads?' - that was definitely my favorite line. Always those pesky, sometimes violent red-heads, eh? *snickers*

It was well paced and well done all around, and I'm actually curious to see just how this connection might be explored. =P The last line, I think, is realistic in saying it might not last forever...but might as well try it anyway. Very teenage-esque.

Lovely job as always. ^^
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Whoops :P You just made me wanna go watch a movie with a quote about that in it. Anyway. I'm glad that you haven't seen it on the forums before. It's great that you thought that the OCs were lovely. Yup, definitely always the pesky red-heads although it's true... given Lily and then Rose.

I'm glad you think that it was well paced. I might very well go on and explore the connection some more. Yup, definitely a teenager's point of view :P Glad you liked it. ^^


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Review #31, by Blue FlameImportant Decisions: Life and Death

13th August 2011:
*sniffs* Famous last words, unfortunately...

Alright, first things first: 'at the thought of throwing the fact that he didn't trust the most powerful wizard of their age back in Dumbledore's face.' there was something about the wording of this sentence that kinda...threw me off? Like it's not totally coherent? I can get what you mean, but I think it could be worded a bit better. ^^

Other than that twas lovely and definitely realistic, especially James wanting to go for Sirius rather than Dumbledore. Shows that in that instance, friendship trumps over sense, since Dumbledore would be an obviously better choice.

One thing that might of added to it would be a small explanation on why he tells them not to tell Remus? Just in case others, such as myself, can't quite remember or think of why he'd say that about a fellow Marauder. =P

Good job, though! ^^
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Indeed, given the outcome. Hmmm I'll go back and look at that wording then, thank you for pointing that out. I'm glad you thought that it was realistic, especially that bit. That's a really good idea thank you! I originally had one in but the story had to be less than 2000 words so I didn't keep it. I'll probably go back and add more to the story or something, I'm definitely pondering that option.

Thank you! ^^


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Review #32, by Blue FlameChaos on the way to Christmas: Chapter One

13th August 2011:
'ello love!

I think this was a really adorable and believable one-shot, really! They were all nicely written and the characterizations were IC in my opinion. I've actually seen quite a few stories where Ginny is a reporter of sorts, so I suppose that could be considering a cliche-- but a good one! =P I love the bit where she's hoping the baby doesn't mess with her magic, as I don't think a lot of people explore the effect that added bit of stress and hormones will have on one's magical ability.

The kids were positively adorable, especially Teddy having used it to keep the fire going. At least he had a lovely intention! =P

Twas an enjoyable read! ^^

-Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you! I'm glad that you thought it was adorable and believable. It's great to know that you thought the characterizations were IC. I think that's actually what JK said she did? Not one hundred percent sure on that one now that you mention it though.

Yeah, I always kind of assume that it would mess with it given that it is something that influences emotions and such.

Thank you! I know... I kind of felt bad for putting him in that position!

Thanks^^


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Review #33, by Blue FlameWhen snow coats it all: Santa

7th August 2011:
Cute! The fact he got her a cat she'd always wanted and set that up at her apartment was absolutely adorable. ^^ I am intrigued and wish there was a bit more on just what took the merry feeling of the holiday from her and why she stopped celebrating it. Otherwise, I really did enjoy it. I've become a huge Teddy/Victoire shipper since the last book, so I always enjoy well written fics like these. =)

Just a few small errors: 'and the merry of the period dissapeared completely' - I believe this could be written differently? Just seems a tad awkward as it is. And 'spending the Chritmas', just forgot the s in there! ^^ The spacing seemed a bit erratic at times, too, so might want to go through and take a look at that.

Well done!
Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thanks for the advices. I'm glad you liked it. I never payed too much attention to this since posting it cause, as it shows, no people reviewed it before... :(

Ramona


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Review #34, by Blue FlameSemi-Typical School Drama: Dreams

7th August 2011:
Awwwh! To see Luna pining for Harry is cute! Her dialogue was spot on and quite her eccentric, odd self. ^^ I have to admit this is one of the ships that I don't read enough but secretly like, so this was lovely to read. =) It was well written, and while short I think you did a wonderful job of setting it up for future chapters. It definitely makes me want to read on and see how this will all go!

Harry and Luna were both well done, characterization wise. ^^ And I didn't see any glaringly obvious mistakes, grammar wise.

Can't wait to see how you go about this ship, update soon! ^^

Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm working on Chapter 2, but I'm also moving in the next few weeks so I'll do the best I can.

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Review #35, by Blue FlameThe Hercy Ship: Hercy

7th August 2011:
I've never read this ship before...so...intriguing. =P Hermione seemed a tad out of character, just in my opinion. It was an amusing fic, though it did seem a tad rushed?

I was SO glad to learn that bit had just taken place in her head, though, because it honestly had me starting quite wide eyed at the screen! What he tells her at the end, after us finding out it was all in her head, seems a bit random maybe? ^^ And kind of out of the blue and abrupt, given he'd just really been staring at her. All in my opinion, of course, but just something to think about. =)

Good job!
Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!

This story was mainly just for kicks, because a friend of mine was telling me how similar Hermione and Percy were, and how they ought to have ended up together in the books. That, of course, was utter nonsense, and Hermione/Percy thence became my least favorite pairing. However, this was written for a competition, and the rules stated that the two had to end up together, so I was thrown off a little by that. This was probably why it seemed a bit rushed and random; I mostly wanted to just illustrate how horrible a pairing it is! (Also probably why our favorite witch was out of character - I changed her a bit to match up better with Percy -.-) All in all, this was meant to be a cautionary tale: NEVER PAIR CHARACTERS BADLY OR THIS MIGHT HAPPEN O_O

Thanks SO much for reviewing, you get a virtual ice cream cone! ~K


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Review #36, by Blue FlameAn Encounter: Quae fuerunt semper

7th August 2011:
Pfft! It is far from horrible! It could use some work but there's not a story on this site that couldn't. ;) I did enjoy reading this! I think it was an interesting way of getting them a moment together, really, and the fact it would just stay between them made it mostly believable! I totally was giggling as they said that they would date each other if not for those bits, as it was kind of cute. =P

One thing I'd say is at the beginning, some of the dialogue seems to be a bit smushed together? Might want to just press enter and make them new lines, that way its separated and easier to read. ^^

The ending was cute, and I do find myself intrigued as to how things might have worked out. =P It was really good for your first try, so definitely keep at writing! Well done! ^^

Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thanks! While I was watching the show, I was thinking about what if Harry didn't come yet and Draco saw her instead ^_^ I'm a big fan of Hermione and Draco together so if there are more supporters for this, I wouldn't mind writing a story of how things happened from this instead of just leaving it as that :-)

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Review #37, by Blue FlameGone: Routine

7th August 2011:
I just.wow. The end left me seriously speechless, as I didn't really expect it. I definitely...was feeling awful for this Hufflepuff and how she was feeling. =( Just...awful.

With the change from the 1st to third, it was a bit of an awkward transition. Not horrible, but something to think about fixing, maybe breaking that bit up some how? Like having a line break before the you're worthless? Another thing to think of might be the spacing, as a lot of it can make one lose their place while reading. Else wise, maybe just some more background? Like what led to this, why she felt that was her option...give her more depth, and I'll be crying even more than I already have! XD Just things to consider. ^^

Very sad, definitely. It was well done and definitely brought tears to my eyes. =(

Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: i don't know how to fix it. :L aha, i'll try some other time. i'm glad you liked it. :D

thank you. :)


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Review #38, by Blue FlameHistory of Hogwarts: Peeve's the Hogwarts Poltergist

7th August 2011:
Can't say I've ever seen a story about how Peeves came about, so Kudos on the unique idea!

Now in my opinion...that seems very harsh for Gryffindor to do? Slytherin I could picture doing it, but Godric is a little harder. It seems an odd thing for him to do, and would be a tad out of character for him. Just a thought and my own opinion, but something to keep in mind. ^^

What really intrigued me was this babe...the thought of Peeves having family living on could make for an awesome story in itself! =)

Good job. ^^

Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: I am not sure where I got the ideas for Godric being a trickster. But when I started writing about the founders and the school being built, the ideas just flowed. Slytherin and the chamber, Hufflepuff had the grounds and the kitchens (elves).
I remembered how the marauders had been in his house and were not really 'angels'
Thanks Blue Flame, three reviews,
I will look through and find your stories.


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Review #39, by Blue FlameHistory of Hogwarts: Chapter 1

7th August 2011:
An interesting concept, a seer getting some insight into Harry Potter and what would happen thousands of years in advance! It was also highly intriguing that this was what led them to search for a place to have the school, a very interesting thought on the matter. ^^

I think it was a tad rushed and that there was a lot more you could do with it, but it was good and definitely interesting. ^^ I love the name for the seer! Very creative and well thought out. =)

I think another thing that might have helped his explaining more of what happened to the Baron? Such as how he died that way? Just a thought. ^^

Good start!
Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Blue Flame,
I was thrilled to see this second review of my story. I got the idea one day looking at a map of England. I found a few of the cities JK named in her books, and then tried to figure how long of the train ride would have been.
from there, the rest just snowballed, out of control, obviously from your critique.


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Review #40, by Blue FlameLegilimency: Legilimency

7th August 2011:
Hehe, this was a cute idea! I found it a tad hard to picture Hermione being so harsh about him learning, but that might just be me. ^^

Teddy is an adorable character, and the brief look into his relationship with Victoire is nice! 'seeing a two foot tall marshmallow man with candy corn fingers, toes, and horns fall down from the top of the doorframe.' this line had me giggling SO much, such a creative idea and a brilliant prank. Hahaha looks like the little tyke is already taking after the Marauders.

Ending wise, I liked it! I was a bit hesitant to believe a fifteen year old would use it on her younger cousin, especially since he described it as excruciating at one point? But then again, cousins will do some oh so lovely things. =P Cute ending, especially Hermione saying he at least managed to do it!

Good job!

Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thanks!

Yeah, I once read a story where a character was afraid of marshmallows, and after watching ghostbusters, the idea took a deeper hold in my mind. I added in the candy corn for a hint of originality (I think I wrote this around Halloween or thereabouts). And yes, he is like the Marauders. Due to certain circumstances (if you choose to view this as being in the same universe as the Aleks Dursley story), he'll get a bit more serious, but he's still just a fun-loving kid at heart.

Teddy described it as excruciating? Nah, he's just a whiny teenage boy.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #41, by Blue FlameLOCKED OUT: Locked Out

7th August 2011:
This was a decent start! I think that a bit more explanation as to what exactly is keeping the teachers away wouldn't have gone amiss, but it was good! ^^ There were some things grammar and punctuation wise that you might want to snag a beta for, which would help to improve the story!

It was interesting and cute idea that I've not seen before, though I would envision a bit more chaos and disorder with the absence of teachers, even if the head boy and girl are trying to keep things under control. Just something that happens when so many kids are left without supervision, you know? =P

Good job though! Keep writing! ^^

Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Blue Flame,
Thanks for the review,
some of these ideas are from a very large work I am working on and I wanted to get an idea of whether or not they would work as a side story.


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Review #42, by Blue FlamePrince Charming: Belle and her Prince

7th August 2011:
Eeep, Teddy's characterization and reaction is so adorable! That is honestly just how I'd picture him reacting to having a child, and a family of his own, considering he technically lost his. ^^

I love this line: 'Uncle Harry always said you cant ever be ready, not the first time, or second, or third, youre never ready,' as I think there is a lot of truth in that! No one can ever be truly prepared for parenthood, no matter how many times they've gone through it! And it was lovely to have that line come to him from Harry! =P

I thought this was entirely adorable, and the fact she was worried he'd be mad and that she was too young was good! It makes for a change, since a lot of stories seemed to have the girl so delighted and not thinking of how big a thing it is. Both the characterization for Teddy and Victoire was awesome, in my opinion!

Awesome job!

Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #43, by Blue FlameI Think I Love You: I Think I Love You

6th August 2011:
Well I can definitely say I've never seen Scorpius singing to her before, so that was certainly unique!

I know you did give us a bit of a background as to what had to led to this in the beginning, but I don't think perhaps actually having the fight written beforehand might help us get a better glimpse into this relationship and why he decided to sing to her? ^^

I couldn't help but giggle at the thought of him singing, it was certainly cute! The end was also fitting, as I liked that he got detention for it. =P

This 'Girls are mental, but trust me, if you get up and do this in front of the entire school, shell be thrilled.' was my favorite line, such a guy thing to say, hahah!

My only bit of criticism would be that the constant song kind of broke the flow of the story a bit, so it might be better to occasionally break it off with reactions, particularly Rose's reactions to his singing or something? Just a thought! ^^
Good job!
Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #44, by Blue FlameExperimentation: Experimentation

6th August 2011:
Oh, wow! I have to applaud you on definitely having an idea I've never seen done before! I was giggling quite a bit, and I think the characterization for both of them was totally believable. Both IC wise AND just as teenage boys! To me it makes sense that ah, some would experiment, and I totally loved that it ended up being Neville and Seamus! The bit about what happens there, stays there was so awesome! hahaha.

As well as this line - 'Well that toad is dying to croak,' Seamus said laughing. 'Get it? Dying to croak?' - Giggled tons at that! I think this was a grand idea and you pulled it off wonderfully. The only bit of criticism I'd have would be the format of the last half of it. When it's squished towards the center like that, it's a bit harder to read and keep your place. =P

Other wise, great job! I enjoyed this and thank you for the laughs! =D

Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Haha. Yay! I'm original! :DD
Thank you. *bows*

I'm so glad that it turned out well, I was kind of afraid it wouldn't. >.<

As for the formatting...I have no idea how it happened. It looked fine when I sent it in for submition and then bamn! It was all weird. So I've edited it and send in for a revalidation. :)

Again, thank you. ^.^


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Review #45, by Blue FlameLeaving Loved Ones Behind: Leaving Loved Ones Behind

6th August 2011:
Alright, that line where he says if something were to ever happen to him...man you had me tearing up a bit! This was such a lovely fic! I honestly feel like there wasn't enough Harry/Ginny in the books to do this lovely 'ship justice, so I always love to see these sorts of stories.

Your description was so lovely and the story very well paced! I think it was very effective to go between them, as it gives you both sides to it and really makes you see how well they go together and needed each other. My only bit of criticism would be he might have done a bit more to ensure it actually was Ginny? Just a thought! ^^ Otherwise this was a lovely piece!

Well done!
Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it!! It makes my heart swell to hear that you teared up slightly. Thank you so much for reviewing!! I haven't looked at this story in a while, but now that you point that out, I might read it over again and make some changes!! Thank you again!!! :D

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Review #46, by Blue FlameA Little Too Late: A Little Too Late

6th August 2011:
I've never read an Andromeda centered fic before, but this was lovely so I might just have to find some more! Towards the end you had me 'awwh'ing out loud! D: So absolutely adorable that he wanted her to be happy, even if it meant letting her go back to him! Oh the woes of love!

Now just two bits of crit! One would be that since she loved Ted, she might have reacted a bit...not so nicely to him being called a mudblood? I can almost see why she wouldn't since being a pureblood and a Black she's probably used to hearing it, but just a thought!

And second 'I got to go.' - It might have sounded and flowed better to say I've? Just a small thing! =P

And this 'There were those lips, those perfect pink lips she had been wanting to taste for a very long time.' was my favorite line!

Otherwise, I enjoyed this! Cute, though maybe a tad short! Lovely job!

Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #47, by Blue FlameThe Story of a Summer Rain: The Story of a Summer Rain

6th August 2011:
Awwh! Well, I'm glad Draco finally said that to his father even if it took that to cause it. D: This was well written, especially description wise - the beginning made it really easy to picture just what was going on! =P

What I think would have made it a bit better though would be a bit of a background as to who Luca is, why he's with Draco and how that all started, you know? ^^ It seems we barely get to know him before he's killed, and since he seems like a lovely character that's a shame! Draco might have been a tad OC, but that could also just be part of the lack of background to it. So adding some of that in could improve it loads!

Otherwise, good job! Just a bit rushed and could use some background to help us really understand the loss Draco just had and what Luca meant to him. =)

Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #48, by Blue FlameSaving Draco: Saving Draco

6th August 2011:
Awh! This was a cute fic, and you actually had me feeling a bit bad for Draco! =P

One thing I'd say is that Narcissa seemed a bit...too harsh, perhaps? I can't imagine her shrieking. Getting angry or annoyed of course, but not quite that much. Just my opinion though. I think the way you had Pansy was so fitting considering how we see her canon wise, and the fact Draco just wanted to get away from her was fitting as well.

OC wise, I think she was lovely! It was an interesting idea to have this little moment, and I almost wish you'd have continued and let us know if they ever saw each other later on. ^^

Good job!
Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing :)

I'll work on my Narcissa. First time ever using her in a story. Also, I AM thinking of writing an actual fanfic about Draco seeing the OC again, but later on like in his 5th or 6th year. But I'm not sure. This was more of a prologue to that if I do. Good chance I will. Anyways, THANKS!


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Review #49, by Blue FlameBottle.: Bottle.

6th August 2011:
Holy cow, this made me tear up a bit! I am positively appalled as to why this doesn't have more reviews!

I for one really liked this - it was adorable, so cute and such a lovely moment to write about. It is so very easy to believe this happened in canon, and you had me feeling very bad and emotional for this poor little boy just wanting to know his parents and wondering why he won't ever see them again.

It was well written and the fact you say the Dursley's nearly left him with the SPCA had me giggle, even if it's sadly true Vernon would probably try that.

Well done!
Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #50, by Blue FlameRivalry Sparks Interest: Train Ride In

6th August 2011:
I think this is a lovely start! I enjoyed the banter between Sirius and your lovely OC Ariana. I think that the characterization for the Marauder's and Lily was well done, particularly Sirius. I can definitely picture him enjoying the attention of a very annoying sounding girl and just enjoying her when he wants to. Horrible, but definitely the play boy sort of thing!

The only criticism I could think of is to maybe give it another glance over? There were one or two occasions where you had the wrong word, such as 'that' instead of 'the'. Nothing bad, though!

Good start! ^^
Cappie/Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the feedback. I went through the chapter and tried to fix it. =D

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