Reading Reviews From Member: Blue Flame
  
279 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Blue FlameBefore They Fall: Sirius Black

26th July 2012:
'ello lovely! Here with a nicely wrapped review parcel!

First off, I do have to say this is definitely different from what I normally read! And I was blown away by the fact this is your first fan fiction. Very well done, I would have never thought this was your first. ^^ I even learned a new word from it, 'cause I definitely had no clue 'cognizant' was a word.

Story wise, I do love how you open things up, it sets the scene well and really allows the reader to picture things. I also absolutely love the characterization you have for James' mum (as well as her name!). That paragraph where she's thinking on what Sirius has had to go through, and what she'd do if it had been worse, made me think she's very fierce in a way. This is also something I could very much imagine being canon, honestly. Sirius finally figuring what he wants to do, and having his family kinda stand in the way of getting it. And his pride getting in the way of him simply asking the Potters for the money he needed definitely seemed very Sirius-like!

I am absolutely intrigued by this twist of Sirius arriving with Lily. Poor girl must have been in shock, with that sort of news on her mind! I will definitely be reading on to see just what happened and what's to come. :)

Now just quick things grammar wise-- I would watch out with comma's sometimes, as I think there's a few sentences that might have been better off without one. There was also this one instance here 'apprehension of Sirius was quickly', where 'was' might be better off as 'had'? Just a thought!

And one last thing, as there was a sentence that just kind of had me pause. 'Their name was printed clearly on the black mailbox at the start of the driveway. A mailbox that was mainly for show,', would there be any way to re-word that into one sentence? It kinda broke off the flow of the story for me. Just for a second, so it wasn't a bad thing, but just something to look over!

All in all, this was fantastic! Especially for your first fan fiction! Can't wait to see how this story goes continues =D

-Cappie

Author's Response: Awww this was such an amazing, perfect review. Thank you so much ♥

I'm so happy you picked up on that Sirius arriving with Lily is a twist! He is with her for a very specific reason that really don't come out until chapter 7.

You are an incredible reviewer. You should open up a thread! And tell me if you do so I can stalk it!!

Sirius is.. ahh. I love that fictional man oh so much. He's the one that causes me the most heartache throughout this entire story, but he was so much fun in this chapter because we could take a look at him through James's eyes.

Thank you again for this amazingly perfect ♥

Jami


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Review #2, by Blue FlameBeyond the Shadow: Baby Shower

18th July 2012:
oooh I can't even tell you how excited I was to see just how many chapters I had to catch up on with this awesome story ! ^_^ This was a great chapter, and I love the relationships growing between Amy and her support group, especially Liane. I love that she's there as a character to sort of reflect back to Amy how she was at that age, and I can't wait to see how she does in the world of healing. The baby shower scene was so cute, I love the games you came up with!!

I also loved that little bit from Molly, as I sooo read it in her voice. After so many kids and grand-kids, she would definitely be able to tell when someone is going to pop. =P And I am definitely hoping Victoire will soon, can't wait to see those bound to be adorable twins!

And I did try to...search for some sort of critique to give so my review wasn't just a giant squee, but nothing popped out at me! Grammar seems good, there's no mistakes jumping out and distracting me, the whole chapter flows together very nicely. ^^ I think this is one of my favorites in a while, actually. It feels like things are starting to pick up again, and that gets me totally excited for what might happen in future chapters. =D

Lovely chapter, I'm onto the next!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter! Liane is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters, and if I ever do a sequel, she'll play a pretty big role. But as much as Amy's similar to Liane, she's also similar to Kate. The baby shower was fun to write, although I didn't come up with all the games myself. Google helped with that. ;)

I loved putting a bit of Molly into the story. She's such a fun character and I imagine her being such an awesome grandmother. The twins will come sooner rather than later!

I'm really glad you've been enjoying the story so much! Thanks so much for the lovely review! :)


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Review #3, by Blue FlameHero: On the Platform

10th October 2011:
Ah I fail, I am so, SO sorry for how long it took me to get to reviewing this! school bites a bit. ><

This was just as adorable as the first two, though! I think you capture them well when it comes to characterization, and though it felt like the chapter went by much too quickly it was an enjoyable read! ^^ And I love, love, loveee that he met Harry and didn't even realize it! Hopefully shows Ron his hero is quite like himself!

I also particularly liked Fred's teasing of Ron, the 'worried your hero won't like you'. It kinda makes me really realize just how prominent Harry was in his life before they even met! And it seems so typical of one of the twins to tease about that! hahah.

Lovely chapter and hope to see an update soon! sorry again for how long it took me to review! D=

-Caiti

Author's Response: You don't fail! I'm super glad that you got an opportunity to come back and review this chapter. I know how real life can get a bit out of hand, so thanks for making time to read and reveiw :D

I know this chapter is a bit brief, but it's a pretty short period of time, right? :P (Bad excuse!) I actually had a bit of trouble with following the 'you can only quote three lines per chapter' rule, so I had to cut a bit to ensure it followed the ToS. I think I'm going to be sticking mostly to missing moment type chapters in the future so it hopefully won't be such a problem :P

Thanks again for reading and reviewing :) I'm really glad that you got a chance to come back and check out this chapter. I'll try to have another chapter up before too long.


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Review #4, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

14th August 2011:
Cute story! Ever so fitting that he goes to Hagrid to spill his excitement over this new class! I love how you have Charlie- so enthusiastic and eagerly excited for this opportunity, especially saying he might like it more than Quidditch! Must be quite the thing for a Weasley to admit. ;D

My only suggestion would be that maybe a line break [< hr > ] or italics would have separated the flashback class portion from the rest of it. ^^

Otherwise, lovely job!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #5, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Crawl

13th August 2011:
This was such a lovely story! =D I really like how you portray Neville- especially as feeling like he's never belonged, yet going back to finish his education. And it really only seems fitting that the professor of his favorite subject would be the one to suggest he teach! I was thrilled to learn he'd become a professor at the end of the seventh, and even more thrilled now to see someone giving some background to it. ^^

'Someday, my dear boy, you will look in the mirror and see the man that you've become instead of the child you once were.' - that stood out to me so much, such lovely words of wisdom from a dear old professor. I also love how he's thinking at the end that he can tell students like himself to not hide, that things will be different...really fits with him, character wise. ^^

Awesome story!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #6, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: A Badge, Friends And Advice

13th August 2011:
First off, I think the highlight of this was Fred saying she beat Harry to it. =P That amused me a lot and is something I could totally imagine either of the Twins saying.

I love how you have her unsure as to whether she can do this, and going to the twins for their opinion and admitting what's really on her mind. George's answer was amusing as well, especially the 'she went nuts, didn't even stop Lee's commenting' as that really shows just how annoyed she was! haha and definitely true McGonagall wise, I think. =P

Well done!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #7, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: A Snatcher's Past - Trystan Scabior

13th August 2011:
Awwwh, wow! I never thought I'd feel awful for a snatcher but this piece definitely made me feel bad for him! D= I also *never* would have expected him to be Sirius' son! I've certainly never seen that before, and the fact he was dirt poor and hid that part of his life definitely gave good reason for him to become a snatcher.

I love how you used a barely known professor in this, too! It really spoke volumes of how much she cared for him that she tracked down Rita and obliviated her so she'd not spread his secret. I also like how well he still becomes a snatcher, you still have him with good qualities -- protecting his friend years later, going to introduce himself to Sirius...you have a believable depth to this character, and I enjoyed reading it. ^^

Lovely job!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #8, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Green Speckled Toad

13th August 2011:
Awh, I suppose it's a good thing for Ginny that she gets him in the end. =P I liked this! It's an interesting look into her trying to get over him, and it was amusing to see what she thought of Cho Chang. It definitely is a hard but necessary thing for Ginny to do, and the fact she automatically thinks of Micheal as a 'substitute' kind of shows just how much she loves Harry, I think. There were a few spelling errors, though nothing glaringly obvious or that took away from the quality of the story.

The end also had me giggling...I'm quite curious as to how she managed to relate a poem about a green speckled toad to Harry! There's teenage love for ya, I guess, hahahaha.

Good story!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #9, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: It Was Enough

13th August 2011:
This was a lovely idea to choose! I really like how he likes the snarkiness she shows right off the bat, and that you throw in the fact neither wants to marry so young. It's an interesting way to portray how they came to be married, and I think the characterization was good for both of them. Definitely giggled when she informed him Bella hated him, and the fact she says she doesn't want to do every single thing her parents tell her to. I think it fits with how we see her in the book, and shows us a lot of who she is in a small but lovely tale!

Lovely job! ^^
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #10, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Pushover to Gryffindor

13th August 2011:
It's lovely to see this familiar moment from Neville's perspective! I think you did a lovely job portraying him and the end definitely left me satisfied. I just love that he's proud even if he didn't manage to succeed, and that he realizes he's a true Gryffindor. This is definitely just the beginning for him proving he's a true one, of course, but such a lovely start. ^^

I also love how you have the toad as a an explanation for why he's in the common room in the first place! [I can't remember if it's in the book or movie as to why he's there in the first place...=P]

I also love how he realizes he's special for just trying-- *waves Neville flag* =D

-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #11, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Daddy

13th August 2011:
So seriously sweet! I really love how at the end, she's saying this to him as he's asleep. Everything she speaks of is just so touching and sweet, and just rings of how much the little things can teach you! The bit about peek-a-boo and what she learned of it just really, really stood out for me. That is something I'd never thought of, such an important fact of life from a game I believe every parent plays with their child.

All the points are just so true and really made me think as I read along. I also honestly found myself hoping he was merely pretending to sleep and heard all of this. I really enjoyed this, such an awesome job! ^^

-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #12, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: There She Goes

13th August 2011:
Hahaha, a girl that can capture Oliver's heart away from Quidditch and make him say Nimbus instead of Firebolt? Never thought I'd see the day! I've not read too many Oliver stories, to be honest, but I really, really liked how you portrayed him here.

Particularly how he comes up with that Quidditch scenario, and how they say they'll be 'hating each other' as usual on this date. It was just such a realistic thing between two rival houses and positively adorable. Especially how he describes this 'date', very amusing. ^^

Ron and Harry were also well done and amusing, and I giggled every time Oliver called him Percy! Loved this!! Good to see Oliver liking something other then Quidditch for a change! ;D

-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #13, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Nothing Changes

13th August 2011:
I think my favorite bit of this had to be Sirius being so blunt and just outright saying it. It seemed so seriously [pun totally intended] IC for him! The characterization for them was all spot on, particularly for Lily. That she tells him not to dare call himself a monster again really was something I could picture her saying. ^^ And the fact she figured it out so quickly first year goes to show the similarities between herself and Hermione.

I also love how you threw in James saying it's his 'furry little problem', and the ending was so sweet! 'No one except a small temperamental red-headed girl and his three nutcase dorm-mates.' This line was my favorite, definitely sounds like an accurate description for them all. ^^

Only one bit of critique: 'Remus Lupin was three years' would probably sound and flow better with 'had been' instead? Just a thought. =) Oh! And the bit where he sometimes wished he had been killed instead of just bitten stood out to me. It just conveyed how terrible the ordeal was and how lonely he must have felt before becoming friends with the Marauders and Lily. =(

Really well done!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #14, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Playing Pretend

13th August 2011:
'Because sometimes it's just easier playing pretend than facing reality.' That last bit is just so, so true. I think it was *the* perfect quote to end a story about Luna on.

And I really, really loved this! An awesome missing moment to pick and such a lovely portrayal of Luna. I love when people write her as being aware that she's different and a bit weird, and her question really had *me* thinking! You also managed to get me to feel bad for her at the beginning, the poor girl. =(

The fact that Ginny's defense did so much for her really had me smiling, and it fits so perfectly with how she is in the books. When you spoke of them being her friends and meaning so much to her, my mind automatically went to what we see she's got in her bedroom in the seventh book. I love how you show just how much they did for her, and you really had a believable Luna here! ^^

Awesomely done! =D
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #15, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Fade Into The Rain

13th August 2011:
=( Such a sad moment! I like the characterization you have for the three Black sisters. Especially how Narcissa forgives her, as it really fits with how we see her in the books. Bellatrix was definitely how I'd imagine her younger-- the one who doesn't forgive and points out she'll be tainting the bloodline.

I liked the interaction between them and found it a nice, enjoyable and quick read. ^^ It was a good, although quick, look into the relations of these three sisters and showed me that despite being massively different from each other, in the end they were always sisters.

Good story! ^^

-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #16, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: A New Beginning

13th August 2011:
Awwwh, so swet! Hermione did always seem the sort that would go back and finish her schooling after the final battle! I love the idea of Ron proposing to after this great achievement, and the talk of Neville's frog is amusing. Especially that he had died fourth year...really has me wondering what actually happened to him, might have to google or skim through the books again to see!

I giggled a bit at seeing they were called 'eighth years', definitely fitting. And the fact Harry was trying to disguise himself and clearly failing, thanks in part to Ginny, was amusing as well!

The only bit that I felt was OOC was when Harry interjected with 'Hey!' when Ron began the proposal. Considering they're best friends, I'd have assumed he would know what would happen and not interrupt it? Definitely an amusing moment, though! Just a thought on that. ^^

Overall, good job!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #17, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Coming To My Senses

13th August 2011:
You ever have that moment where it's so hard to picture someone old as a young girl? That is so the feeling I just had with Minerva.

Anyways, actual story wise I liked this! ^^ The fact it's Minerva to tell her seems fitting and something she'd really do. I also think the charm Oliver ends up using is creative, and the fact she doesn't jump to say yes for a 'date' realistic since no one is going to jump at the chance after just experiencing that unpleasing ordeal. Very happy she changed her mind quickly, though! =P

I was definitely smiling as she said the name had a nice ring to it, and the entire thing was a good read! I think there was just a comma missing every now and then- but nothing major that distracted or took away from the story. ^^

Lovely job!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #18, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Hidden Behind A Lens

13th August 2011:
Holy guacamole...*sniffs* The end definitely was just...touching, and showed the extent to which he wanted to take pictures. And it was honestly so believable that he would die, snapping photo's until the very end. Poor Colin. =(

The very beginning drew me in, and I have to say I really LOVE the spin you put on it. Taking a hobby of a lesser known character and giving it such meaning is positively awesome, and I really enjoyed what you did with it. =)

'Things would be missed. Things would be lost.' That was my favorite line. You really gave so much more depth to a character many of us just think of as the boy who took a lot of pictures. I applaud you for an excellent idea and a very well done piece! Thanks for sharing it!!

Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #19, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Under The Surface

13th August 2011:
I always feel so awful for Severus when I read fics like these. =( This was well written and I love the portrayal of Snape as he sounds quite IC. What struck me most was when he says 'he was glad she'd picked Potter'. The fact he felt that James could keep her safe and happy just really reflected how much he loved Lily. She'd left him alone, and yet he still cared for her well being and was selfless enough to admit that. Such a sweet, true love...all ruined by one horrible word. =/ I was surprised at the end to see he'd already joined the death eaters, and it had me thinking of how Lily could have been his tether to the good side.Especially because of the ending sentence-- presenting the picture that he'd been holding at the surface because of his love for her, and sunk low without it. Really makes me feel awful for him. =(

My only bit of critique would be a sentence in the paragraph starting with 'Him bullying'. The second sentence seems like a run-on and is a bit awkward to read, as it feels like it could have broken up to make things flow better.

Other than that, very lovely! ^^

-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #20, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Gone Without A Trace

13th August 2011:
Awwwh D= I don't think I've ever read a story before where it was Regulus' suggestion that he leave. So in that, this is unique and well done. I just love the selfless characterization you have for Regulus and the fact it seems they have a good brotherly relationship. I don't think you see that too often in stories, and the fact he was willing to join the Death Eaters to throw the spotlight of Sirius was so absolutely touching. I think it both displays the bonds between siblings and shows that, in a way, Regulus suffered from Sirius' rebellion. I'd honestly not thought to think about his end of things before reading this.

The letter at the end definitely left me a bit sad, poor Regulus. =/

Well done!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #21, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: The Beginning

13th August 2011:
I think you did a lovely job with this-- especially in that you're showing us that no matter how he ended up, Tom started off just as every other first year did. Nervous, unsure and just wanting to belong-- it really had me thinking that he was, despite his horrid doings, human. I like that you don't tell until the end who it is because it is a bigger effect to keep readers in the dark, hearing this tale and then discovering it's the sorting of the darkest wizard of all time.

Your characterization was lovely and realistic, and the entire thing was well put together and a very enjoyable read. Awesome job!

-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #22, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Werewolf

13th August 2011:
Awh, cute moment and a lovely one to have chosen! I was definitely glad at the end, and so happy to see that they wanted to know him and weren't going to run away. I think that the story was a tad choppy in places-- which isn't necessarily bad, just messes with the flow of the story a bit. ^^ There were some sentences that might have been better off combined, to keep things flowing better. But overall it's a lovely job and a sweet moment to read, and I think the characterization for all four Marauders is good! ^^

Well done!
-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #23, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Gone

13th August 2011:
You honestly have an eloquent way with these words that has made me green with envy. This was beautifully written and flowed perfectly, and by the end I had chills at the grief that rings through the chapter. The lines of how she hates and envy him are so incredibly realistic for one who is grieving and feeling the impact of loss. I love how she describes this grief for his death as chains, as it to me that is exactly how it would feel. Something you can't escape feeling and a feeling that is tugging you down, trying to consume you in grief.

This was honestly beautifully done and I thoroughly enjoyed it. ^^

-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #24, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Two Hearts

13th August 2011:
I have to say...for most of this I thought it was Snape! I was really, really surprised to read Ginny at the bottom. I'm still not entirely sure who the speaker is? But looking at reviews for this, it seems to be Dean, which certainly fits. ^^

Your description was positively lovely, and I was definitely feeling horrible for the speaker as things went along.

My favorite bit had to be the fact that he wanted to hurt her-- it seems so realistic, especially as he wonders if he was merely a distraction or a temporary replacement. It rings of teenage in a splendid way, and I really enjoyed reading it!

Very well done! The only thing I think would have made it better is a bit of clarification as to who's point of view it's from!

-Cappie/Hufflepuff

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Review #25, by Blue FlamePhoenix in the Ashes: Gossip Bites

13th August 2011:
Definitely a good piece! This is definitely how I'd have imagined Rita while she was at school and certainly such a lovely start for her ever so great career. =P It really showed her shallow, only for herself sort of personality- that she put her career over her friends.

It's a good moment to have done! Especially the nonchalant way in which she responds to Samantha's words. It was certainly IC Rita wise, and really goes to show what an awful person she could be right from the beginning. Ruthlessly pursuing her career over everything else- sad but true!

Lovely job!
Cappie/Hufflepuff

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