Reading Reviews From Member: LovelyMioneWeasley
1,254 Reviews Found

Review #26, by LovelyMioneWeasleyWildflowers: Under the Stars

9th June 2011:
Hi there, LMW from the forums with your requested reviews. I'm thinking that you have a very lovely story starting out here. And I really liked the idea of you listing the actors who are suppose to represent each character in the beginning of each chapter so we have a mental image of who you are allowing to take center stage in your chapter.

I loved the little opening scene about the idea of wildflowers and why it is called wildflowers. You run a major risk having your OC being friends with Sirius before Hogwarts simply because it's become so common and such a cliche in the FF world. I love your relationship between Elsa and Sirius but I just caution you to be careful about it.

As far the scenes and making Elsa who she is, I think that you have done a really good job on making Elsa someone who I would like to read more about. You have certainly revealed enough to make the first chapter interesting and not have us questioning who she is, but not revealing too much to have me just breeze by your story and not consider reading it again.


Author's Response: Oh, I'm well aware of the risks with having an OC friends with Sirius. However, I think I avoid the cliches around them rather well (I hope). At least, no one has said they are cliche yet.

Revealing ones character is always delicate business, its better to reveal information about them slowly, as it keeps the readers attention. At least, that's my opinion. I'm glad you like it.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #27, by LovelyMioneWeasleyLive Your Life: A Place to Start

9th June 2011:
Hi there VB,
I'm SO excited that you updated and let me know about it :). I was so thrilled to come back and read more about Laura's journey. It is never a dull moment for me and it is certainly my pleasure to get to read your writing and get sucked into the world of HP and your take on it with OC's.

So, for starters, I love the emotional journey you allow us to ake with Laura. To let us be intimate with her thoughts could make her or break her in the minds of the readers but I think you just humanize her more by allowing us to understand and attempt to relate ourselves to her exhaustion and emotional confusion and attempt to understand.

I loved her confiding in her dad and asking him about what she should do to begin to really live her life. I loved that her dad wanted her to tell people about it because it actually gives Laura the chance to be a teacher and allow people to observe her living every possible moment to the fullest.

I think that your story has real depth to it which makes me want to read more because it just isn't fluff or pure angst; there is real life lessons to be found in this. Fabulous, fabulous job, my dear. And no chliches thus far :D

Except for the cliffe, that was kind of mean :P


Author's Response: LMW! Thanks for getting to this so quickly! :)

Hehe, you're welcome, and that made me smile that you like it so much! And that's so sweet, so thank you! :)

Being able to explore the emotional journey with Laura is one of the main reasons I decided I would write this in third person. After all, you can't learn all the lessons she has to offer if it's in third person! And I also believe that all those feelings can be applied to situations in real life when RL gets us majorly bogged down. And if we could learn to handle it with as much grace as Laura maybe we'd all be fine. :)

Laura and her dad's relationship has to be one of my favorite things to write, if I'm being honest. Their relationship is mostly based off of the one I have with my own father, and it's interesting, because my beta always comments on how her dad wouldn't say/do those types of things, except that in my case, that's exactly the types of things my dad says! :D And that's a wonderful way of putting it-- the teaching thing, that is. I agree wholeheartedly with you on that, that she can teach us so much with her life lessons. (She's even teaching me, and I created her! xD Now I start to think in stressful situations, What Would Laura Do? ;))

I'm really glad you feel that way. I'm trying to stay away from both deep ends in a sense, because although there will be some fluff later, it's not about that, and though her life is excruciatingly difficult, it's not that she wallows in that daily either.

*rubs hands together evilly* Mwahahaha. ;)

Thanks for the very lovely review, and next chapter is Oliver POV!!! How exciting, no? :D


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Review #28, by LovelyMioneWeasleyFrancis: Lily Petal

9th June 2011:
Twisting her wand through her fingers, a look of wonderment flooding her features as she watched the fish.-- Wrong tense for this sentence; its present instead of past like the rest of the paragraph.

“I do believe it doesn’t have a name yet Miss Oaken. Do you have any suggestions”-- need a question mark

Then Francis shall be his name,” Horace replied, chuckling at the girls excitement-- girl's excitement.

These are the only general typos I saw. LMW from the forums with your requested review. I think I actually stumbled across this awhile ago, read it but forgot to review! So I'm so glad to have the opportunity to read it and review this time around.

The flow wasn't really an issue for me in the one-shot because it sort of seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces; you can kind of identify the different pieces but they fit into a bigger picture.

I like the concept; I think it's sweet. And definitely original. I think that you did a really good job on the authenticity to the characters and the universe of HP.

I'm curious to know if you ever identified what year they are in; and if they aren't in anything older than 5th year, because I would have placed them in 5th at the oldest. I'm just curious.

Excellent job on this one-shot love. You should be proud!!


Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing :) I've done exactly the same thing with a few requested reviews - I've seen and read the story but haven't actually reviewed it - it's still quite amusing when it happens. Thank you for pointing out the typos, I'll have to go back and fix them, but maybe when the queue is shorter ;)

I'm glad that the flow wasn't an issue! I thought that with it having parts that it would seen somewhat disjointed. I'm so glad it didn't seem so.

Actually, I placed them in their 5th year, I don't know why, but when I was writing the dialogue between the three, they still had the somewhat childish banter of younger teens, but the slightly mature banter that older teens have.

Thank you, I am proud of this :)

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Review #29, by LovelyMioneWeasleySpectrum: Chapter One

7th June 2011:
Hi there, LMW from the fourms with your requested review and I was just curious about something from the get go. Your banner is lovely, but the chapter image--who is that supposed to be on the chapter image? Characters for your story, I mean, not models.

Anyway, moving on to the major story and you had a few sorta specific concerns you wanted me to address--spelling and all that, good opener, grasp my attention, etc.. Mmkay, well I can start out with the easier parts, address how I feel about opener, and then add the other things I noticed.

I didn't see any major grammatical issues. I envision though that other reveiwers may have caught stuff. It's late where I am and I'm on a sleeping pill so I'm slowly beginning to lose my sharp focus. So for now, we'll say nothing of major consequence. If I find something glaring later, I'll PM you.

Okay, for an opener, it hooks me because I loved the prologue. I think that the prologue was made of some powerful writing and created some easy to understand psychological issues for your OC to have. Which I think is very smart of you.

I also liked the idea of Wintra continuing on for her mom and I thought you were really going to build off that idea. Maybe you could include her having some of her mom's RN books at school. She could still incoporate some Muggle beliefs into her education.

As for the transition, it is abrupt and could be fixed easier. I think you hook me in with the kind of lighthearted nature of the banter between all the characters. I just wonder if its going to stay that way. And I think that you do a good job creating mysteries with Dexter.

Now, just for some minor things, Eli would pronouce ya'll in fact y'all because it is you all abbrevated into y'all. And there were a few other minor things I would consider addressing with just characters and how they refer to classes. I know the class names are long but leaving them like COFC could confuse the readers and sounds very casual.


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Review #30, by LovelyMioneWeasleyVoldemort's Plan: Chapter Three

1st June 2011:
Hi there, final chapter from LMW and I have to say I just got more confused with this chapter.

It just seems that Marian and Nikole just jumped into a friendship that hasn't even been developed to me as the reader. You also need to capatlize things like Transfiguration, etc. I also don't know why classes would start that late but I really have no idea what time classes start.

Marian is also a random character and I don't really understand how to justify her presence just showing up as it did. Draco and Marian's conversation seems really intense and OOC of Draco. He just wouldn't be willing to share so much to such a stranger in my mind.

I also think that you need to get a beta to help you read it. Best of luck.


Author's Response: Thanks a lot for your advice. I plan to develop Marin a little more. Her discussion with Draco is a way for him to get a weight off his chest and give him the ability to get the only thing he wants.

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Review #31, by LovelyMioneWeasleyVoldemort's Plan: Chapter Two

1st June 2011:
Hi there, LMW from the forums with your next review. I was quite confused by this chapter and some of the details so I have quite a few questions to ask you in general before I make comments.

Is this Nikole's first year or not? Because she is asked to show around a new student when she is one herself? Why is she staying with Draco? Why doesn't she room with the other girls-- I don't see Dumbledore making an exception like that. How does Marian know if its such a big secret? Where did Marian come from? And why is Draco able to mess with a girl in a private shower?

All of these are major plot issues and questions I have as a reader so it makes it really hard for me to believe and be able to read the story and understand. You need to be a bit more thorough with all that. And the random inclusion of Draco's POV seems misplaced as far as flow goes. Also, the arrival of a new student seems misplaced.


Author's Response: In the first chapter Nikole was remembering that memory of her first year (in 4th year) Now it's 6th year and she is the Prefect. As well as Draco is Prefect. They share a Prefects quarters. Marin is one of Voldemort's followers, and so is her parents this is why she knows who she is.

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Review #32, by LovelyMioneWeasleyVoldemort's Plan: Chapter One

1st June 2011:
Hi there, LMW from the forums with your requested reviews. You need to pay attention to slots and such when you are posting though because I already had five full slots to read and review. You got lucky enough that one of the stories was no longer validated so a spot freed up. It's just common courtesy to pay attention to that sort of thing.

So, for starters, you are entering dangerous OC terroritory with Voldemort's daughter. I have a hard time beleiving that he ever conceinved a child with another human so you have to have a very convincing back story to get me to believe it as a reader. So for now, I'm unimpressed as a reader.

Secondly, picking the Malfoys would be beleivable especially if they hid her. I have a hard time believing that she wouldn't go out in public and that she was seen by other Pureblood families but never mentioned. Just holes in your plot you might want to consider.

Your grammar needs a bit of work so I'd consider getting a beta to help you out. Just to read over your chapter; you have run-on sentences in places and need to add things like commas, dashes, and semi-colons to make it gramatically and mechanically correct. Just another thing to pay attention to.

This chapter does end abruptly. I'd consider adding some more length to make it not seem that way. And your other concern was plot. It just needs to have some more addition and more explanation. You don't reveal enough about your OC in the first chapter to set up a good foundation for the rest of the story in my mind.


Author's Response: Thanks for your insight. This is my first story and I will be sure to fix some of the things you pointed out. My thought on Voldemort having a child was that one person was able to find a human being at one point in his past, and now he treats her as more of an insurance policy. Once again thanks for reading.

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Review #33, by LovelyMioneWeasleyRose Weasley and the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans: A Mysterious Small Blond Girl

1st June 2011:
Hi there, final chapter from LMW. I definitely enjoyed the bit from Lily in this chapter. She is usually made out to be such a princess and little brat. In this story, she's just a scary brat for the most part. I like it.

And I also enjoyed the Quidditch tryouts. I think that you did something kind of original by adding this dynamic of a really new and good player to break up the old team. It certainly adds a new level of drama that seemed to be lacking before.

Scorpius seems to be so even-keeled that it kind of throws me off; Rose can be very emotional which is also new for me. I would reccommend making Scorpius a bit more . . . unnerving maybe. And also adding some more interaction with Rose and the girls. I think that it really added to this chapter. You've done really good making a fun story to read about.

Great job!


Author's Response: Thanks so much! A lot of those things show up in later chapters yay! I kind of characterized Scorpius as being pretty calm but he does end up freaking out later. I'm really glad you think this is fun! Thank you so much for all the feedback it's really helpful. Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #34, by LovelyMioneWeasleyRose Weasley and the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans: A Mysterious Tardiness

1st June 2011:
Hi there, second chapter from me and I'm really liking how...young and carefree they all seem. The thing that JKR never really got to do with the Trio is let them seem as young as they really were. It always seemed liked that they had to be older than they really were because of all the trouble that is going on.

I also enjoyed the fact that we had so many different dynamics going on--it made the chapter seem more vivid and real and was fun to read about. James and Fred are silly and competitive and self absorbed, very believable. I also liked that Phil is clearly a) having a secret relationship or b) having a secret friendship or c) harboring a drago like Hagrid in the First book. You make it fairly obvious :P

Overall, this chapter was also VERY short but I liked it. I liked the story in general but I am curious about Bertie Bott beans.


P.S. Ending with the trolley lady was brilliant.

Author's Response: :D yay I'm so glad you liked this chapter! and I'm quite pleased. I pulled off the thing with Phil. Thank you so much! I'm happy you liked the trolley lady that was fun to come up with. Thank you so much for the lovely review!

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Review #35, by LovelyMioneWeasleyRose Weasley and the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans: Prologue: A Mysterious Letter

1st June 2011:
Hi there, LMW from the forums with your requested review. Your general concern for this chapter was to see if this chapter was engaging to the reader.

Now, this is a VERY short chapter so it's kind of hard for the reader to get a real understanding of Rose and her other qualities other than she's a Ravenclaw, obsessed with Quidditch, and secretive with her family.

It's seems a bit cliche that you have Ron being so generally clueless and Hugo as the snoopy brother and Hermione as the hover mother, but it works. And Rosie's special parchment with Scorpius calls into question their general relationship. I do, however, like that it is her Fifth year and not later. I also like that she is younger and so involved with friends.

For a first chapter, it intrigued me enough to read on.


Author's Response: Well I'm glad that it intrigued you enough to keep reading! I know how short it is, which is why I was concerned. I hope it gets less cliche later. Thank you so much for reviewing, the feedback is really appreciated!

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Review #36, by LovelyMioneWeasleyMurmur: Third Year

1st June 2011:
Hi there, LMW with your last chapter and I think that this one was definitely the best yet. I think that you did a sincerely good job not trying to span the whole 3rd year into so few words and instead chose to just let it stick to one part of the year. I think it worked in your favor.

I also liked that you included a general POV to let us see how Remus and Sirius regard the general opinion of Shelly. I think that will work in your favor. I think that it was unfortunate though that you were willing to be so general about Snape and Shelly's regard for him. I think its believeable but sad. I also think that the story would be more interesting if you would make it Snape/OC instead of Sirius/OC but it is of course up to you as the author.

I wish you best of luck, and a beta to help you to help with minor grammar issues I've been noticing in the past few chapters. The biggest issues were in the first one and I think that you'll address them with time.


Author's Response: I used to OBSESS over Snape, and Young Snape. I watched and read 'Snapes Worst Memory' over and over again. So at first I was dead set on making this Snape/Oc. Then I read quite a few Sirius/Oc's and oh my goodness the great internal battle insued. haha But i'm still very torn between Sirius and Severus.

Thank you so very much for your time and your tips. A beta will really come in handy for this!


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Review #37, by LovelyMioneWeasleyMurmur: Second Year

1st June 2011:
Hi there,
LMW from the forums with your second chapter review and I think that this chapter was definitely more fun development than the previous chapter.

Shelly seemed to be more dynamic and more believable and realistic than she did in the first chapter. I think that you made it better by giving her some friends, having her experience some happiness with her aunt, and having the cat. It just makes her seem more like a 12 year old girl even though she spent a lot of time in the library with Lupin.

Making her a year older than the Maraduers and in a different house, not friends with Lily Evans, makes it easier for you to believe that she will not turn out to be a Mary Sue OC. I would still caution you about making her too powerful, too pretty, etc because it could still make her OCish.

As for this chapter, it again seemed rushed. I think you need to spend more time and dedicate more words to each year. You may want to also hold back more information; you didn't reveal as much this chapter but you made Shelly awfully perceptive for a 12 year old. I would just caution you against making her seem so much different from 12 year old girls.


Author's Response: Again, thinking back I believe my point was to show that after a year of being away from her father and in having spent the summer with a loving aunt has made Shelly more relaxed.

I see what you're saying about my character still having a good potential of becoming a Mary. I work hard on making sure that doesn't happen. I assure you. haha =)

Thanks LMW! For the tips and pointers! I'll be coming back to these reviews when I go through and fix these chapters!


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Review #38, by LovelyMioneWeasleyMurmur: First Year

1st June 2011:
Hi there, LMW from the forums with your requested review. I was intrigued to see what your story would be like and about. So I'm glad that you recommended this so I could take some time to read it.

First off, I would consider changing some of Michelle's thoughts into italics instead of just leaving them plain to help the reader distinguish between Michelle's concious thought sentences and such. Its purely suggestion though.

Your grammr seems off in places. You seemed to have unnecessary commas and you could utilize dashes and semicolons more. This would help the flow of the story for me as the reader and your transitions from Michelle's dream to her waking up were off and that entire section really confused me. I was also confused by your explanation. It just seemed like you were rushing to get information out.

Keep some of Michelle's intrigue for future chapters because you are introducing to use a whole lot in the first chapter and give a lot away. I just want to want to read more as a reader and this chapter seemed to give me a taste of what your story is about and I might not necessarily go on to the next chapter since you gave so much away.

I think that Michelle also seems a bit too mature for an eleven year old. Her voice sounds older to me, like 13 or 14, so I might think about adding some immature thoughts and insecurities or desire for more sleep. I understand that she was raised a certain way but there still some universal qualities of 11 year olds you can appeal to. Those are my general suggestions for this chapter.


Author's Response: Having written this over a year ago I can easily say it's not my best work. haha I've read all your points VERY carefully. I'm considering looking for a beta for this fic. =)

Now, as far as Shelly beeing too mature for her age: Thinking back on it now I think I tried hard to incorporate the fact that she was raised very strictly into the story. But - I see where you're coming from. Typical eleven year olds would LOVE to sleep in and complain through the night about not being allowed to.

Thank you so much!


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Review #39, by LovelyMioneWeasleyFamily Life and Child Development: The Star

1st June 2011:
Hi there, LMW here with your final chapter review. I really liked the creativity you had with the potion and the doll. I think it goes to show the power of magic and how creative we can be as authors with the world that JKR created.

I liked that you made her have straight hair and not that wild bushy mess that her mother has. It made more independent than the girls and it seems to have more qualities of Malfoys then of Hermione. I'm sure she will turn out to studious and such like Hermione and have other certain qualities. I also think that you did a fun job with Hermione reading the book and having all the characters doing different and believeable things.

Again, the same reccommendations apply. Make sure to check captalisation and all of the grammatical things. Your tone is your biggest issue. Best of luck with your story.


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Review #40, by LovelyMioneWeasleyFamily Life and Child Development: The Partner

1st June 2011:
Hi there, LMW back again with another review for your story. So, you definitely keeping everyone in character and you are doing an excellent job keeping everyone true to their beliefs and general attitudes from abruptly changing.

Again, I would make the same recommendations for this chapter as the last one. Words like Hospital Wing, Monsieur, etc. I think would need to be capatlized and a beta could help you with your tone. You have very unnatural sounding sentences like This drifted off her anger about her predicament momentarily. Saying something like, it distracted her temporarily would be a better sentence.

Also words like Professor, Death Eater, and others need to captalized. I liked that you added Padma to the group; she was an interesting character to pick because I would think you would pick someone like Lavender or use an OC that you could manipulate. Overall it isn't a bad story but you need to do some major corrections on it.


Author's Response: Thank you again, I'll take that in mind when I got a word from my beta.

And I like Padma, Lavander irks me a lot. Thanks.

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Review #41, by LovelyMioneWeasleyFamily Life and Child Development: The Course

1st June 2011:
Hi there, LMW from the forums with one of your requested reviews. In general, you just generally asked about what changes I would recommend as you rewrite and edit this story for the future.

First off, I would get a beta to help you out with any grammatical issues you have. You have problem with tenses and using casual diction. You have some errors with some awkward phrasing and just general issues. I wonder if English is your first language. You seem to have a more sophsicated vocabulary or try to use it that way, but it just comes across as forced and unnatural.

Secondly, you don't have very much dialogue which is something I would try to reconcile as you add more chapters or just have more interactions between students. You also need to capatalize anything that JKR capatalized in her books like Sorting Hat, etc. Also have help with your puncuncation.

I don't know if I would believe that the Sorting Hat would assign partners; it was purely created for the use of assigning Houses to students so I can't imagine it having any other purpose. I would recommend finding something else to have them assigned partners with.

Overall, it is an okay story but it needs some overhaul especially with the tone you write in.


Author's Response: Thanks, I'll take that in mind. I"ll have my beta help me. She's doing a good job, I think.

Oh, and nice observation, English isn't my native language. :)

Thanks again for the review.

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Review #42, by LovelyMioneWeasleyMy Iniquity : Not Enough.

1st June 2011:
Hi there,

LMW from the forums with your nicely requested review. I'm so glad to see that you did a horror story and requested for it. I never would have found this without your request and am so glad that I was able to read it.

Your attention to prose and manipulating it has definitely made the difference in how the reader inteprets and physically handles the story. Ron's confusion and Ron's draining of life totally concides with how the reader handles the details of the story. I really just loved the whole bit in general.

As far as word choice goes, for the most part, I found it powerful and to be very stimulating for the senses, but there was one point that I would personally change.

With one arm I thrust him behind me, away from The Stranger.-- The Stranger just seems like such a mild term for what is happening; The Intruder, The Murder, The Killer, The Monster all seem like better ideas to me but that is very nitpicky but just something that seemed a bit off to me.

Overall, it's a wonderful one-shot and great challenge entry. Good luck and I hope you do well. You should be proud.


Author's Response: Why hello!

Wow, you left quite a fabulous review! Thank you so much, and I certainly see what you mean by the Stranger being a bit less powerful. I will definitely take that into consideration as I complete more edits! ^.^ I will also remember your review thread next time I write something! Thank you for your well wishes!


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Review #43, by LovelyMioneWeasleyGideon: Daisy Chains

26th May 2011:
AGh, yay yay yay yay! You updated this!

I was SO SO SO SO excited to read this new chapter because we are getting closer and closer to the heart of the Gideon/Andromeda and how they became as close as they did. And this entire scene with them in the meadow could have been much more enjoyable if I knew that a) She wasn't married and b) she didn't have a child at home she was neglecting.

I'm totally getting into the plot and I'm getting curious as to how Gideon reacted when Andromeda became pregnant. And who is Tonks' real father!?!?!??! I hope its Ted; please, please reassure me love that it is in fact, Ted!! Oh goodness, I don't know if I could handle it if it wasn't Ted.

I loved this line: the sky is diamond-studded with stars. I loved that picture and that contrast to her life; the hardness of diamonds and the sweetness of the jewels because her life is so hard and not so gemlike and pretty. Her life is like a chain of dandelions more than daisies, the dandelions are weeds and definitely more like the choking the relationship and really upsetting the dynamic between Ted and Andromeda.

Gideon seems so selfish at times that I wonder how his good qualities; how could he possibly be related to the wonderful Mrs. Molly Prewitt Weasley?? I know that Molly can sometimes seem really selfish and seem to have other motivations, but I just feel like Gideon can be so harsh. You do such a good job getting me invested.

And the last line is pure poetry truth. None of them deserve what she has done to them. Cause she can be a real jerk face jerk. (Darn you 12+...)

xxoxoxox Lindsey

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #44, by LovelyMioneWeasleyMore Than a Divided Country: Chapter 2 Ryang Young-jae

20th May 2011:
Hi there lovely!

I'm so glad to see that this got updated and was very excited to read about the North. I think you do an excellent job really creating a beleivable and even likeable North Korea for the reader. It has been portrayed as this country that has no redeemable qualities but it was interesting to have the persepctive of a young girl who has respect and patroritism for her country.

I definitely enjoyed the chapter with the dancing and the fact that she enjoyed being the center of attention. It makes her seem like a realistic little girl. I also love the admiration she has for her parents and how much she loves spending time with them. Her disregard for her grandmother also is realistic because that is true of my own life.

I also enjoyed that her parents were very different and how she loves them and admires them for different things. I saw no major typos and I'm really curious about how the story is going to play out. I enjoyed reading this again. I love the fact that you updated this and that you are evaluating different cultures. I would love for the South and the North to get together and see how the two different mindsets and two different idealisms.

Thanks for requesting again!


Author's Response: Thanks! I'm trying to take a page out of Tim the Enchanter's book and create a three dimentional character from a country with think nothing but bad thoughts about.

I'm glad to know you think I succeeded, though.

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Review #45, by LovelyMioneWeasleystop the presses!: 1

19th May 2011:
HIi Kate. I was stalking (er, snooping--uh, looking) at your page and saw that you had a new story. I very excitedly clicked on it and saw that you were writing one about Lucy. I think that it will be great and I'm so right already.

I loved the whole dynamic between Dom and Lucy; I think that they were lovely. Dom definitely had the bigger personality and I was impressed by her love of chocolate cake. I am a big chocolate cake fan myself so I found a sort of connection with her over that. Hahaha. I loved that. I also love Lucy though because I am a bit of klutz myself and it just seems that odd things happen to me on a daily basis. I feel for Lucy.

I loved that Rose was her crazy, journalist boss. It totally fit and Rose totally came across as the control freak that I could see Hermione being if Hermione didn't have the compassion and sense to help others that she has.

I also liked the idea of Teddy being involved with her and how the mystery may fit in into the plot. I think that you did an excellent job giving us enough elements to being interesting to read another chapter but still feel like we know enough to relate to the characters. Well done, Kate loff. I think this ends my review spree :D

xx Lindsey

Author's Response: *is being watched*


i wanted to write something lighter - after morocco i need it i think!! and In Ruin is emotionally messed up, lol, so yeah, need something not so serious.

I am really happy you're enjoying it so far. i actually haven't much of a solid plan for this fic, which is scary, cause usually i know pretty much what is going to happen and how. so this freaks me out a little.

Dom is heaps of fun! Lucy is kind of like Dom's conscious in a way, lol. I don't know where those elements came from - im not a chocolate fan or a cake fan and im pretty steady on my feet so i feel like there is nothing of me in either of these girls - yet. it might change, lol.

rose is fun! again, i've never written her as such a psycho/tyrant so im having a good time with her. interesting in this. he is a mystery, to lucy in particular, and Dom is crazy about him so expect more teddy!

thank you so much!! you have been on a review spree!! i shall have to write something else soon, lol!

Kate xx

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Review #46, by LovelyMioneWeasleyIn Ruin: eight

19th May 2011:
SHE'S GONE, OH SHE'S GONE!! Thank goodness. What a obnoxious little Potter. Grr...if only reviews weren't 12+. Oh haha ha ;)

So I feel like I've been on a Kate reviewing-palooza because you've just done so much updating between RR, Morocco, and In Ruin! It has been quite the treat for me these past few days. I am slowly running out of fantastic things to be update on though unfortunately.

I think that you are doing a brilliant job with this story; the dynamic between Frank and Rose is lovely to read about and getting more information about William was definitely lovely. Frank can be quite the reckless idiot though; I was definitely upset to see him get hurt but I'm impressed by Scorpius jumping to rescue Rose before she could do something reckless too.

And I'm very glad that you are making them both unattached--Scorpius and Rose that is because clearly, Scorpius needs someone like Rose. And maybe for Frank and Rose's sakes, Rose needs someone like Scorpius. Someone she could truly learn to love and be comfortable with. I am impressed all the same by all the dynamics you are suppling in this though.

I am curious to know more about the twins and Louis though so I guess if I had any requests, it would be a bit more dynamics with them maybe. Also I would love to know more of the Incan history. I'm loving the story, Kate, loff, as always :).

xx Lindsey

Author's Response: hahahahaha yep she gone! for the moment...

i wish i answered my reviews as quickly! i am sorry this has taken so long!!

i have so much fun with rose and frank. they are awesome, if not a little too dysfunctional, together! yeah scorpius got to play hero, even if she didn't really appreciate it.

thank you darling! i really appreciate your lovely words!


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Review #47, by LovelyMioneWeasleySeven Hills: To the Strongest

19th May 2011:

I nearly squealed with excitement for an hour when I saw that this was updated. This is far better than any of the other books I'd been picking up lately ismply because your story combines two of my favorite things: history and Harry Potter. I love it!!

I enjoyed the bit with Tom; I think that you did an exceedingly excellent job letting us experience Tom through Portia's eyes. He is sort of slimy and settled in his ways; much like Portia is but Portia's lack of sexual nature or repression thereof makes me like her because I can relate to her with that. Tom is very settled in his charming and appealing ways as a man; they are both certainly imperfect but I just like Portia more xP

I definitely enjoyed the writing for this chapter especially between Tom and Grindelwald. I think that the mentor relationship was a perfect way to explain them and I like the idea that Grindelwald is threatened by her. I think that Portia is a force to be reckoned and is most certainly just noa 'woman.' Loved it!!

I'm so glad that you are updating this and I loved the ending of this. It was a cliffhanger without actually being a cliffhanger. I think that it was brilliant to use this for a closer.

xx Lindsey

Author's Response: Hi Lindsey,
Thank you so much for the lovely feedback! I'm so glad to hear that you're still enjoying this story. And I have to admit, I always squee when I receive a review from you. I just adore your detailed comments. You really are an awesome reviewer.

I'm very pleased that you found Tom likable. He is quite the slimy guy in this story, although I think there is something undeniably attractive about him, which is what draws Portia to him like a moth to a flame, hehe. And you're absolutely right about Portia being repressed. She does repress everything, emotions, urges, you name it. I think she also has this false notion that her ability to remain in-control at all times gives her a heightened sense of morality, which she believes Tom lacks.

Also, I'm really happy to hear that you liked Tom's interaction with Grindelwald in this chapter. To be honest, I fussed over that scene a fair bit, because their relationship is very changeable. Tom definitely looks up to Grindelwald as a father figure, but then again, he also has a problem authority, so he does have a bit of rebellious streak. ;)

Again, thanks a million for the awesome review! I already have the next chapter written and should be posting it next week. I hope you have a great weekend! Take care! ^_^

Lee Anne

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Review #48, by LovelyMioneWeasleyMorocco: CHAPTER SIXTEEN

19th May 2011:
It's OVER!!! So sad but oh so great because you did a brilliant job in my mind ending it. And thanks for the review, Kate, I should have my reply up shortly ;).

This was the final chapter and it was really great because I think there was enough ambiguity to make it real. This is how it happens with history and this is how an ending feels with any conflict. You don't know as you are living the war what the aftermath looks like and often times, the real struggle (not the physical one) but the one between people, between emotions, between change begins. And you set that tone a few chapters back beginning to switch to a more subtle intensity.

This story can be split up in many good ways; between the intensity that occurred while they were in Morocco, to the struggle of being rescued, to saving Hugo, to the slow ending of the war and beginning of reconstruction, you have done a great job keeping it so realistic.

Now onto my favorite couple. I have been a huge fan of Rose/Scorpius since the epilogue came out simply because you have the whole forbidden element going for them but as I read more and more FF, I begin to see how unrealistic some people make the couple. You have never done this, Kate, and you keep them so real in this. I love the passionate and raw feelings of Scorpius even hidden behind his somewhat stony expression. You know everything he feels is real because of what they've been through together.

Rose has a brilliant part and I loved them just being willing to be open about it by the ending. It shows in my mind a real shift toward hopeful, toward the future. They are planning a new life together just as the world is planning a new life of incoporating Muggles and wizards. Great job on that symbolism, Kate!!

I saw no major typos or issues; it was flawlessly as far as me reading it, love. I loved all of it. I can't say that again! Fantastic job, Kate!

xoxx Lindsey


Author's Response: oh Lindsey, you are far too kind darling!! seriously. i am just so happy you enjoyed this - thank you so much for reading and for all your lovely reviews!

you completely understood what i wanted to do with the ending of this fic. the real battle is about to start - the internal one - and how they deal with this will be most important.

thank you so much for that comment. keeping it real is so important to me and for characters like rose and scorpius...i don't know. it seems even more important that nothing is taken too superficially. its too easy to take the forbidden love line. they are more than that, deeper than that and i really liked that i could explore them in this fic.

I am so glad you liked them both so much. i adore them - they were so easy to write, so real and i am so happy that translated onto the page. i am really happy you picked up on that symbolism (which i knew you would) cause it is so important. i like it when readers notice those things!

thank you darling for such wonderful reviews and for sharing your thoughts with me throughout this fic. i really appreciate it.

kate xx

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Review #49, by LovelyMioneWeasleyThe Raven's Ring: tying up loose ends

16th May 2011:

Aw, its over. So sad :(

I think that you did a very brilliant job on turning the movie into Potterverse. I think that you made really good decisions on who you picked to align with characters.

I think that the twists that you do with the characters especially as we are experincing the entire story from Teddy's POV. I think that you were wonderful to do that for us because it worked so well to reveal all the information slowly and very interesting.

I loved Rose and I love you ended the case; I also know that you wanted this to be a short story, but I would have loved to read about Teddy traveling and trying to struggle through finding Rose. I feel like that would have been interesting to read about. But that may just be me :)

I think that the ending was perfect and really interesting to read about; Scorpius was such a swarmy git but he was so funny to read about. I think that it would have been so much fun to interact with that Scorpius. He was so smitten with Rose and I found the whole thing to be quite hialrious. I loved the nitty and gritty feeling to the whole story.

I loved it, Kate, love and I'm sad to see it end but I am so glad that I was allowed to read. And I can't wait for the last chapter of Morocco!

xox Lindsey

P.S. Thanks so much for the review xox.

Author's Response: hello darling!!

thank you so much. teddy and scorpius cast themselves, but picking who would play Brigid was harder. im not sure why i used rose in the end, but i wanted that scorpius/rose element i think, and to do something different with their relationship.

teddy was the only one to narrate this and have it work i think. it would have fallen down with anyone else as the narrator, so im glad that it worked out.

i did consider an extra chapter on that aspect of the story but i couldn't get it happening.

scorpius was so much fun!! i have never written him like this so i enjoyed him immensely!

thank you so much my love! i am really happy you enjoyed it!!

Kate xx

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Review #50, by LovelyMioneWeasleyThe Dark of Night: IV

16th May 2011:
Hi there again, love, Lindsey with your requested review. Sorry I haven't been back over here earlier to catch up on the story. I really enjoyed the first three chapters and am excited to have read the fourth installment. I'm confused as to why it isn't more popular. It's really very good.

It's like your not even trying.—Lily’s dialogue when fighting with Al. Wrong 'you're.' That was the only issue that I really saw as far as grammar.

I think that you do an amazing job with Al and his character. You make him so realistic and interesting to read about. He has the loner tendency and really has a different perspective from his family members. Sometimes, authors make it seem unrealistic with characters that are reserved and awkward and tend to keep to themselves; Al, however, comes across as just someone who is out of place. Once he finds his place, I could totally see him blossoming and making friends.

I'm sad that Hogwarts seems to be such a hard experience for Albus and that he doesn't get along well with his family. Lily being a spoilt princess that enjoys getting her way came across as totally believable. I think that you do a great job on the tension between Al walking away and Lily following him mocking him.

Overall, I think that Elodie and Al's conversation was painful and totally realistic. I can envision some tense conversations I’ve had with some past classmates. Albus does a great job handling the awkwardness and intensity; his character most definitely consistent.

Good job overall love. Let me know about more updates.


Author's Response: Hey Lindsey! Thanks again for reviewing, and sorry for the lateness in this response, especially considering I requested from you. I apologise. Thank you for your lovely comments, I'm really glad you liked and enjoyed it. This is my favourite story to write and edit - and believe me, it takes a while to edit.

I'll sort out that mistake. Thanks for pointing it out - grammar is just the bane of my existence.

Albus has been portrayed with so many different characterisations. He's very interesting to write, and I wanted to make him completely different to everything I've ever read about him. I wanted him to be a nobody, a recluse. A bit of a loser. I also think that he's a bit of a sociopath. He's so silent and observant, it's almost unnerving. He's got such a close connection with Malfoy and Elodie - but not friendship-wise, but simply physically. He shares a dorm with Malfoy; he must see him everyday, talk (bit loosely phrased) everyday, but they never really connect. Albus knows all about him though. He's odd.

I really wanted to write a fic that had an unconventional family - people usually portray this in humour fics... the family is a little kooky or whatever. Then, of course, there's the whole 'Ron hates Malfoy so would never approve of Scorpius' etc, etc. I also wanted to write about a fic where the context of the original are reversed - where the good (Harry Potter and his family) are almost terrorising the bad (the Malfoys) because of what they did in the war.

Lily as a spoilt princess was always a guilty writing pleasure of mine... glad you liked her!

Thank you so much for your wonderful review. I will definitely re-request if I finally update it!

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