Reading Reviews From Member: LovelyMioneWeasley
1,254 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LovelyMioneWeasleyDangerously In Love: Locked Hearts & Hand Grenades

9th December 2012:
Spirit, booster you say? Fabulous sounding!

Hello Misty,
Long time, no talk. We are both dreadful at this communicating business, but I thought I'd throw you a line and see what I could catch.

Hope all is well in your RL and that you haven't been held up by any unfortunate business. I was so glad to see you updating and editing about. I was really glad to get back into the swing of things.

Oh, my heart, my poor broken heart. Remus and I must have LOADS in commons because I feel like a masochist coming back to this story and realizing how it is all falling apart. I really must realize that this must break your heart as well if you are as attached to your Sirius and Remus as I seem to be.

I had to refresh myself a bit and just take a peak at the past few chapters and it all came thundering back to me like a face full of snowball. Your writing is exquisite and I loved this intermingled darkness and lightness. I feel that it is appropriate transition into what will be a rough few chapters I am sure. It is also aspiring to see you not giving up on a story.

Constant vigilance, my sweet Misty. Keep it up and best of luck in the future chapters! May the words be ever in your favor.


Author's Response: Lindsey, Lindsey, you're a one-woman spirit booster and I honestly can't apologise enough for leaving this review hanging for so long. I'll make it up to you, promise!

I do want to tell you so much about RL, not here of course but there have been ups and downs. Nothing unfortunate thank goodness :)

Aaaah, you, me and Remus, we're all masochists it seems. Except I'm the sadistic puppet master that's pulling the strings. Remus will always and forever be in my heart but writing Sirius in this story has made me grown incredibly fond of and attached to dear Snuffles. This is only the tip of the iceberg of what I put them all through. They might as well be riding the Titanic.

Eeep, I love how you intermingled Harry Potter and the Hunger Games into the closing line. Honestly this entire review was like a big ole hug of words. You honestly keep me going, lovely Lindsey. I put up every chapter anticipating your reaction and feedback.

I miss you terribly and hope you're doing well yourself. I miss you, your stories and reviews, the entire package that is LovelyMioneWeasley.

*biggest cyber-hugs in the world!*

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Review #2, by LovelyMioneWeasleyDangerously In Love: Asleep at Heaven's Gate

28th May 2012:
Hullo Misty love,

I have been missing you dearly. I haven't had anyone to offer me a challenge of writing and I'm aching or something to write but what, I cannot figure out. We'll ignore all that for now, though, love because I need to address this beautiful story of yours.

You have done nothing short of incredible with this Misty because its not the love triangle or the complications of youth but the development you've taken with these characters. Sirius is beautiful and broken and sad while Remus is sweet and gorgeous and full of sorrow. They are beautiful tragic, broken romantic heroes, Mist.

I don't get tired of reading your stories and the development you've done with it. I'm emotionally invested in this story but I may be bias but I think my heart shattered a bit reading the last half of this. The calm before the storm. I almost wish you wouldn't update so everything can stay okay if even for a moment. Aw sigh.

I'm tearing up a bit thinking of each's fate and how it will play out. If reviews weren't 12+, I'd have a few choice terms about Sue but alas, what a snooky piece of lint. She is the gross dust beneath the washing machine.

Cheers to you m'dear, I hope to hear from you soon.


Author's Response: Linds darling, I give you free reign to shoot a good hex at me. I've been missing you immensely as well, it's just been taking me awhile to get back on the HPFF horse. I do have more than one challenge in mind for you, that is, if you're bold enough to accept it ;). Expect a message within the week.

You always see the best in this story, whether it deserves it or not. You describe the heroes so poetically, it baffles me that they are the same that I put to page. Sirius and Remus are slowly becoming the damaged men we've read about in the books. At least, that's what I'm aiming for. Interesting that you didn't mention Dollie. She is an undeniable catalyst of things to come though.

Exactly! This was the calm before the storm, before everything spirals downwards into disaster. Tempting as it is, I vow to keep updating, even if the hiatus is long between chapters, if only because you've been so loyal and stuck around so long. I owe it to you, Linds, and I can't wait for your reaction to how it all plays out.

That's a lovely PG way of putting it. Sue doesn't deserve such eloquence.

Ch. 19 is open on my desktop and progressing quite well. I've been having the most trouble arranging the sequence of events I have in mind for full dramatic impact but I think I've worked out most of the kinks. It's coming soon, promise! Before the month is over, hopefully!

Cheers too, dearest. I'm so sorry for my silence. *hugs*

infinity xoxo,

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Review #3, by LovelyMioneWeasleyInertia: We Might as Well Be Strangers

16th February 2012:
We drank too quickly from our cup of bliss. Now we are left with the dregs of apathy and resentment.

My favorite line(s) still; the imagery is powerful and there. I love the title, the images, everything you have done with this beautiful, twisted little fic darling.

It is such an honor to call you a friend and a fellow author. Your talent is definitely all over this one; I liked the little tweaks you've done with this one and the fact that you posted. I hope all is well with you, writing life or otherwise.

xoxo Lindsey

Author's Response: .

Even when you first posted this back in February, I had no idea what to say. Now months later, I still don't. You're too wonderful for words, Linds, I count it as a blessing to know you as a friend and fellow author and know that your support is so strong and enduring. Your encouragement was a massive part of me posting this and I thank you so very much!!

*earth-shattering hugs*

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Review #4, by LovelyMioneWeasleyDangerously In Love: Monster Unleashed

23rd September 2011:

YOU UPDATED! Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic because this was my break from studying and doing way too many homework assignments so thank you for that firstly. I think that you did a great job on this chapter and setting up the drama for it. I had to go back and review last chapter to just see where it left off and then I realized the cliffie you had left me on!!

Thank you for not leaving another cliffe. I have to start there haha; now, I was very excited about the Sirius part in the beginning especially when you referred to hot chocolate and Remus over coffee :D. It was a cute moment and very original line. I loved it. Remus, I too, would prefer hot chocolate because I love it too. Does that mean we could be soulmates? Remus and I, I mean?

Dollie scared the GOODNESS GRACIOUS out of me!! I was so terrified and it was so brave and RECKLESS of Sirius to go and distract the Wolf. Ah writing that just gave me goosebumps.the Wolf. It was so creepy and so well done, Mist. I often forget how much I enjoy angst because I search out fluff so much because my textbooks depress me enough haha. But I may have to do some angsty writing tonight because the Wolf inspired me for sure.

It was brilliant, Mist; your creepiness and your action scenes were wonderfully done. You are a great writer and I was heart broken by the last scene. I am so sad to see where the story is going now. Bring some fluff into the next chapter maybe ;).

Love you!

Author's Response: CHECK YOUR INBOX.


Hello Linds, how are you? :D

After the last cliffie, I wasn't going to have another one so soon, hehe. Everyone knows choice of beverage is a crucial point of soulmate selection so yes, I'm quite sure Remus will be pleased.

I KNOW RIGHT?! Gah, writing that scene made me sorta love Sirius. Who doesn't love a black knight after all. Don't tell Remus though, he still holds my heart *hugglesRemus*. I'm so glad you liked it! I've always envisioned Remus and the Werewolf as two separate entities forced to share the same body and it was great fun to further explore that aspect of Remus' character. Ohhh, you definitely should write something! I'll keep an eye out for it ;).

Thank you so much, Linds! Don't worry, there's still a few more twists and bumps to the story before we reach the end, which is still quite far off. As for fluff, ehhh, 'fraid not. The next few chapters will definitely be more angsty though I'll try my hardest to sneak some fluff in.

Love you too!!

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Review #5, by LovelyMioneWeasleyWhispers in the Wind: Why did you leave me?

15th September 2011:
Sigh. Misty, how beautiful. And Vintage Misty!!! So fantastic!! I loved this truly and you're about to get a rambling review about why I loved it so much.

So, Harry/Pansy is quickly becoming an off favorite of mine. I've found some insanely well written stories by puttering around online. There's some real tension between these two characters that I don't think enough authors or readers are noticing and tapping into. So, for the get go, I knew I was going to be a fan.

So, my second favorite thing was the beginning; you began it with a smile and I knew that it was going to end happily. I think that was sort of an epic poetry moment, defining the the theme and the driving force in the story's opening lines. Very swift, Mist ;).

I also loved the playing with colors you managed to throw in here; the emphasis on nature and how natural their relationship seemed to be. It was all very well put together and very intricate in the way that you wrote it.

I loved some of the old school Misty and I miss the present Misty very, very MUCH! Pop me a message soon, please please please

Author's Response: Eek, Lindsay, you're so sweet you give me a toothache *blushblushBLUSH*.

They're such an underrated ship, aren't they? So much potential for an angst-fest. I've read one or two good fics of this pairing but there's this one amazing Ron/Pansy fic whose name escapes me at the moment. But back to Harry/Pansy. I'd love to read your interpretation of it. *coughsubtlehintcough*

Would you believe that was entirely unintentional? :P I didn't have the heart to give Pansy anything other than a, if not happy then hopeful ending.

Nature was definitely meant as a sort of secondary character in this fic, a substitute for Harry if you will. Very perceptive of you to spot that! I actually thought I overdid the description in certain parts but this was my phase where I was desparate to improve my description skills.

Aaaww, thank you so much, darling. I miss Lindsey as well, in every and all eras. This month has been a killer but November's the start of my holiday so I'll definitely shoot you a message soon. There's this new one-shot I have that I'm on the fence about posting and would love your opinion on it.

*massive hugs*

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Review #6, by LovelyMioneWeasleyPotters Love Redheads: Chapter One: Blonde Moments

13th July 2011:
Hi there LMW with your second review for your story.

I meant to mention in my last review that I thought you had a lovely graphic and that I loved the fact that you used Darren Criss for James because I just find Darren Criss absolutely adorable. Well done, it made me smile :)

For a first real chapter, I found the flow to be a bit more erratic and not as smooth as the prologue for me. I think you were trying to create more momentum with the story maybe but it just ended up seeming disjointed with the entrance of James and Hugo.

I think that you are trying to create this established character and then Cassidy is breaking out of character before we even know what she is supposed to be like. This makes it confusing for me as a reader to really identify her essential nature and it makes it seem that you are wishy-washy as an author and how you want to portray your characters.

My second thing that really bothers me are the cliches that are kind of playing around in here-- first off, Krum as her father and her lack of consistent mother makes it seem like there are a lot of plot holes for me like I mentioned in my last review. Second, Hermione,a member of the Trio is her godmother and her daughter is her best friend. It would almost be more interesting to read about how Rose and Cassidy maybe had a competition between the two of them and fighting for the affections of Hermione. Third, I don't see how Ron would be comfortable with Hermione being Krum's godmother for his daughter. It isn't realistic to me; you need to explain elements of your plot that makes believable. Because it isn't believeable for me right now.

It is your story and it is ultimately up to you, but these are just my things I noticed with a critical eye as a reader and author. Grammar seemed a bit more inconsistent in this chapter; a beta may be able to help.


Author's Response: I will consider the beta. :) Thank you and I do intend to focus more on Hermione's involvment with being Cassidy's Godmother. I do have some work to do on that. I will be working on that. This Chapter was written in a rush of inspiration. And I just didn't feel it was completely the right time to reveal all of this information.
And, well my difference in characterization of Cassidy is intentional. She doesn't really know her character her own self and she is trying to figure that out. I want the reader to figure that out with her.
Thank you for all of your insight. I appreciate the review. I will take everything you said into consideration. Thank you. :)
P.S. Darren Criss is awesome. xP

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Review #7, by LovelyMioneWeasleyPotters Love Redheads: Prologue: Redhead Discoveries.

13th July 2011:
Hi there LMW from the forums with your requested review. You asked for mainly insight on your OC Cassidy and the story in general as well as style.

Because you were general with your request (outside of your OC), I'll try to be as general as I can about the story as a whole from appeal to flow to tone to any issues I see.

All right, from the get go, you are taking a concept that is not unexplored terroritory which will appeal to the general populous because you are playing with ideas and characters that have been referenced. I think is a good thing because it means it will appeal to a big audience of readers.

In your summary, you need to be sure to captalize the Boy Who Lived because JKR does so and it would turn me away if I was breezing through recently updated stories to see a small technicality but it would deter me. Just a small suggestion.

For a first chapter, I found it to be generally good. I think you do a good job breaking up internal monologue for this. Your humor is cute and giggly, nothing that made me really laugh out loud but I liked it.

I think you did a really good job revealing the ephiphany and introducing some characters. Your addition of her father as Viktor Krum threw me a little bit. I'm curious to know why she goes to Hogwarts, why she would be English, why she wouldn't have an accent, etc.

It was a decent length for a first chapter prologue, the flow worked, there was minor issues with grammar, and the tone stayed lighthearted. Overall, it was cohesive and interesting enough to get me to read the next chapter.


Author's Response: Thank you so much for this great review! :) I think that it will really help me out. And I know there are somethings that don't quite click, like Cassidy going to Hogwarts, but I figured maybe her mother could be British and that's why? I don't know. I was trying to bring about something fun.
Again. Thank you for the review.

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Review #8, by LovelyMioneWeasleyMirror Mirror: one

4th July 2011:
Kate, love, the sheer creepiness of this gets me! I have some literal goose bumps going on as I read this because it freaks me out and entrances me with complete interest.

I loved this line: He could smell him; smell the greed and the vanity and the warped sense of righteousness that used to be his, that used to dwell inside him like a living thing, twisting and breathing and infecting him with its poison. It creates this connection between the two of them that is undeniably unable to happen in certain other universes; I don't know if I've ever read a fic where someone else made such a deep connection that worked so well for me.

I adore this fic and I adore your writing. You have such original ideas! It's pure brilliance! I adore it again, Kate. Well done. How did you get this idea?!

xoxox Lindsey

Author's Response: LINDSEY!! hello darling!!

thank you so much for another beautiful review! i really appreciate it - all your reviews actually! they make me smile.

yay creepiness! that was exactly what i wanted and wow, really? it always seemed natural to me that there would be a connection between tom and gellert, with them being the sort of people they are. i am glad that came through.

thank you again sweetie!! i have no idea where this came from really. i needed to write something creepy for the challenge and thought, there is no one creepier than Voldie, and i wanted a moment that isn't explored so often, so yeah. really glad you liked it!!

Kate xx

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Review #9, by LovelyMioneWeasleyNova Magica Ars: I

4th July 2011:
'Ello Kate loff, I hope all is well with you. Obviously, I'm excited to see a new story of yours and to get really into it! I think that this has real promise already because Ravenclaw has always been a prefrence of mine.

I love the way you have all of them interacting already; I think there is a certain grace and sophistication that other Founders stories have lacked for me in the past. I have such a fondness for this era and for how it all played out. I think that it all would be brilliant to read. I love this story.

I am so curious about the woman and some of the visions that you are already trying to relate to us. I have some sneaking suspicions but I'd like another chapter or two before I share to simply be careful about what I'm guessing! Haha. I love it though and Kate, I am so excited to be reading something new from you.

xox Lindsey

Author's Response: HELLO DARLING!!!
yes that deserves caps abuse cause you rock! i am so pleased you're reading this and even happier that you are enjoying it so far. it means a lot to hear your thoughts.

thank you for the wonderful compliments! i have wanted to write this for so long so i am really pleased it is working for you.

Kate xx

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Review #10, by LovelyMioneWeasleyThe sporadic suffering and tiresome torments of Albus Potter: The one with the Hogwarts Express.

4th July 2011:
Hi there again AC_rules, final chapter from your request on the forums. I was definitely intrigued by some of the development of this chapter.

I like that you started at a different year and are progressing through the years as a fairly decent rate. I think it makes a difference; I would reccommend making sure you keep up with the pace you set because as a reader, it could throw them off if you trail off from that or at least give enough sub-plot to slowing down the timeline. Action is the only bit that can help that type of compensation for me as a reader.

I loved the yellow hair; it was so bizzarely funny and so wonderful. I will admit that I read through this once before I came back to review and I got to read ahead because I was curious; that stuck with me as my favorite part of your humor. I think that it was very original and that you picked such a physical element of a girl for Al to fixate on. It is very male and very spot on. I also like that Jan is attracting a bit of attention even from our Al. We all probably fancy wanting them to be together. I know I do as a reader.

For flow, this chapter generally worked better for me then the past two. I think that it's because you are able to get some steam going for the story and it is starting to have it's own pace that I can keep up with and focus in on.

Finally, as far as charactersation goes, I loved Al and Jan more than I usually enjoyed themin the past two chapters but they are developing along nicely. I think that you did an excellent job with that. Overall, the grammar and such wasn't as bad this chapter either. I enjoyed it! Good luck as you continue on.


Author's Response: That was my main idea for the story - a few chapters per each year so the pace should keep up to around this level. Its more fun for me too as I don't have to write many fillers :)

I love the yellow hair thing, I won't lie. Also about a week after this chapter one of the guys at my school actually died his hair yellow... it looked awful. Ahha, I think the fixation is a prety male reaction to things.

Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad that this chapter was better. Cheers! :)

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Review #11, by LovelyMioneWeasleyThe sporadic suffering and tiresome torments of Albus Potter: The one with the polyjuice potion.

4th July 2011:
Hi there, this chapter was definitely more frustrating for me than the last one. And not because of lack of anything but because as the author you convinced me of the story and the characters enough that I got into it and reacted to the situations.

First off, here's an example of what kind of typos/issues I'm seeing as far as grammar and mechanics and such go. Can you believe forth years nearly over?Ē Jan asked.-- It should be Fourth asin the number and there needs to be an apostrophe before the 's' in years. It's small things but it definitely disrupts the flow for me. I would reccommend checking out the forums for a beta maybe or just asking a close friend to read over it to see if they catch anything you miss.

Now, onto characters--Al and James both definitely pissed me off in this chapter. First off, James was so beyond selfish for me and his careless attitude is frustrating. I'm not quite sure how well that would tolerated by Harry and Ginny. I can't be sure that I can really envision something like that happening. Albus comes off a bit wimpy to me at times, and his insistance to not forewarn about the red ball certainly made a difference.

I loved Jan and the bit of humor in the Hopsital Wing scene. I think that it was quite original to get rid of all the hair and such; I was certainly impressed with that bit.

On to the last chapter!


Author's Response: Is the frustration a good thing though? Hmmm. :P

Grammar wise I'll go back over and edit again. Maybe I'll think about getting a beta too, as I know I always miss things like that ^

In my head James wouldn't dare behave how he does infront of Harry and Ginny and instead confines it to Hogwarts time... I'll try and make that clear :)

Thanks for the second lovely review :)

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Review #12, by LovelyMioneWeasleyThe sporadic suffering and tiresome torments of Albus Potter: The one with the twins.

4th July 2011:
Hi there, LMW from the forums with your requested reviews. I was interested to see about your take on what seems to be becoming a classic next gen sort of story. Any of the Potter kids is certainly making it intresting to read.

I think that Albus and James have very and disctintive personalities; I think that you did a really good job having the sibling dynamic be believable. Sometimes, I find stories that make it so stiff or so loveable or just so extreme in one emotion that it reads as unrealistic.

Your main concerns were charactersation, humour, and flow.

Your characters seem to be generally original; it's only the first chapter but Albus seems too much of a pushover. It is sort of unbelievable for me at times; I think more resistance would help me. I love Jan; I think she's fun and original. I would love to read a story with just her and Al, but I definitely like adding her to this mix. James seems to be so unconcerned and selfish that it upsets me a little bit. I think that his lack of concern upsets me.

For humour, it seems a bit forced at time, but there were definitely certain points that I giggled and had to appericiate your POV and what you had to add. I like Jan and all the humor that is generally associated with her.

For flow, it works most of the time but there are minor typos and mechanical issues for me so that disrupts the flow for me as a reader. A minor reading over it or a beta could help out with such issues. For a first chapter, I think it was a little in depth but you definitely could hook a reader.


Author's Response: My Al is definatey a bit of a push over (especially when it comes to James) but I think over the course of the story he'll learn to say no a little bit. I look back over the chapter and maybe add a little more internal resistance.

I'm glad you love Jan though - she's like my new baby at the minute.She just writes herself which is really nice.

Humour is a bit scary for me. Most of my stories are really emotion-focused and not exactly funny, so ithink maybe I'm trying a little too hard sometimes? I'll go back and edit soon :)

I'll also go back and look over the grammar and typosand such - I always seem to miss thoes little nitty-gritty things.

Thanks for the review :)

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Review #13, by LovelyMioneWeasleyIn Ruin: nine

20th June 2011:
Hello Kate!!

I hope all is going well for you in your life and I'm so glad to see that you are back with us updating some of your superfabulousawesome stories! :) I can't help but throw in a bit of suck up to see if you'll do more updating soon :D

As for In Ruin, I was very excited to see more chapters being added and especially since it was a Rose/Scorpius action chapter. How awesome that they finally stop tiptoeing around each other and just get right to the explosive obvious emotion and/or hormones that are affecting BOTH of them.

I'm glad you didn't leave us hanging about Frank; as a writer, we set up a pace and maybe certain goal points we want to hit in the chapter of a story and we sometimes leaving subplots or sides hanging off and it confuses the reader when we forget to mention them or acknowledge them at all especially when we had such huge drama with him last chapter.

Now, I actually have found one small issue I have with the story but I've justified how you portrayed the character in my mind as well so I'm all admist conflict. Internal conflict of course. I sympathise for Lily because we have only been viewed at her through the eyes of Scorpius who has been manipulated by her and Rose who obviously has issues with her. I find it unfair for a character to villanized--in all aspects. I think everyone has likeable qualities and I actually believe that you probably think that the same about Lily, but because the way you set up the narrator for the story, we are only privy to the thoughts of two people who don't necessairly like her. I admire you for sticking with the way you write, but I wish I could feel more sympathy for her or find a character that does because I don't think she is all bad.

I think I've rambled far more than approriate so I'll bid you adieu until next time. I love you and hope all is going good for you, my love.

xx Lindsey

Author's Response: hello darling!!!

yes all is well - been very busy but im on holidays now so hopefully, more writing time!! which means once the queue opens there will be updates!

hahahahaa yes. they are an interesting match. it shall be fun, lol.

frank will be back. i love him too much to leave him out, so he will reappear at some point in the story.

oh yes, lily will get her moment in the sun. rose hates her, and when you find out the reason, you will most likely be able to see it from both sides. i don't like to victimise either but yes, as rose and scor are the narrators lily has not had the chance to have a voice yet, but she will. i won't leave her without that. she is not all bad no, and she will show that.

thank you love!! i really appreciate all your fabulous reviews!

Kate xx

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Review #14, by LovelyMioneWeasleystop the presses!: 2

14th June 2011:

So glad to see you're back but already a cliffie!?!? Why, sweet Kate, why? You can be quite, quite cruel but I cannot blame you because I'm totally sucked into this story. I love Lucy and Dom; their manipulative, dynamic relationship is absolutely fabulous to read about!

And the bits of Teddy, Louis, and even Scorpius mingled in there! Look at you, taking on another next generation story! I can't believe that you are getting into and I'm very excited that you are especially one focused more on Lucy.

Are you going to bring Molly into this story a lot? Or is it more like purely focused on Lucy with a side of Dom and some mysterious controlling Rose and fickle Teddy? I'm looking forward to more, Kate.

Thanks for coming back from the dead :)


Author's Response: LINDSEY!!
i was not dead - just busy, lol.

it was not intentional! truly it wasn't, lol. it was just the natural pause in the story, honest!

i am so glad you're enjoying this - i am writing as i go this time. i have a bit of a plan but nothing as concrete as i usually have and this style and genre is so not me, lol, but i am having fun with the characters.

i know. next gen has kidnapped me, but, BUT i have gone the other extreme and started a Founders fic, lol.

Lucy intrigues me and yeah, there will be some molly at some stage (i think :p)

thank you darling! i have no idea how long it will be until the next chapter of this is up!

Kate xx

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Review #15, by LovelyMioneWeasleyJust Watch and Listen: Chapter 2 - Just Watch: what happens when I try to do the right thing.

11th June 2011:
Hi there again, love. Again, I thank you for asking for reviews because it just gives me the opportunity as a reader to get more exposure and read more characters, different plots, different eras, and be exposed to more original ideas.

So I basically rambled last review about how I wasn't sure how to feel or approach Sandy and Lysander's relationship because it felt so negative and so hostile toward one another. Now I don't take it back but this chapter definitely helped me to be understand as a reader. If I hadn't had this chapter to read after the last one, I can say with pretty confident assurance that I would not have come back to read the story because the first chapter was so off putting for me.

I don't think that your writing is off as much as organization. I would pay more attention to how you sequence things and remember that we as the readers are not in your head and do have the minor details and history that you have decided about a couple of characters that may not be included in the story. Be wary of this and be ready to overprepare the reader for what is going on in your head.

I didn't notice any major typos or issues in this chapter.

Also, you called this chapter a filler, but I think that this is the most important chapter I've read because it provides such important background to really understanding the entire dynamic of the story.


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Review #16, by LovelyMioneWeasleyJust Watch and Listen: Chapter 1 - Just Listen: to What he Says to Me

11th June 2011:
Hi there, again, love. I hope everything is going well and that you are having a good weekend. I was definitely curious to read the first chapter.

And I think you set up the reader to expect what Sandreiah expected from Lysander and I was quite shocked by their fight. I think that for a first chapter, you sent the reader right into a place of not being able to really understand why Lysander and Sandy were friends in the first place much less dating.

Your fight was harsh and mean, and I just couldn't understand what attracted them to each other because I had nothing to compare it to. You didn't even give us, like, a flashback or a preparation for why they are friends or why they were dating. It is clear that they are passionate, but I'm just not understanding the dynamic between them.

You didn't have many issues; just some minor punctuation issues where it needs to be added with dialogue and such.

For the future, I'm just not quite sure where the story is going to go or how you're going to reference back to Sandy and Lysander's previous relationship but it is just a very negative relationship in my mind. My other concern is that you refer to your main character as Sandreiah, Sandra, and Sandy; I don't have issues with Sandreiah or Sandy, but Sandra seem misplaced to me. Those are just some minor points though.


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Review #17, by LovelyMioneWeasleyJust Watch and Listen: Prologue - I Donít Get Mad, I Just Get Even

11th June 2011:
Hi there again, love, I got your request and I was intrigued to see what it was about. I am glad to read something else and see what else you have written and what other styles you like to do.

So I was giggling to see that you wrote a next generation story about Draco and Roxi's children. I must say that I was impressed by that because it definitely shows a real commitment to your characters and how much you believe in them. And I think that it was brave of you to attempt to do a genre that isn't really your normal or an era that you are the most comfortable in.

My youíre a persistent lot...-- this was the only issue I really saw grammatically; I would just add a coma after my because it just seems like she is saying My, (long pause) before she decides to continue her story. And a comma would relay a long pause for the reader. This is a super nitpicky point but I just think it would make her sort of monologue more powerful by just allowing the reader to really understand her voice.

I think that you did a good job creating a believable character and so far, I don't see any signs of Mary Sue or any other major cliches; for her to be after a Scamander was definitely an original point and using Roxanne seems to be a good idea as well. I think that you are overall setting up a successful story. Because we can all relate to the on again, off again couple because we have been in that relationship or know of one.

Good job for the prologue.


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Review #18, by LovelyMioneWeasleyFalling Star: Consequences

11th June 2011:
Hello there, LMW from the forums with your last requested review. Overall, I think you are fleshing this story out to be a very full and enriched story for the reader.

The format for me still just seems a bit off...mayb it's because it is in 3 person perspective or what, I'm not quite sure. I feel like there would have been more power to it if you picked diffferent chapters for each perspecitve to change into. I.e. one from Sirius, one from Snape's, one from James, one from Dumbledore, one from Remus, etc. but that's just my opinion.

You do the characters justice and overall, it is a good story.


Author's Response: I see what you mean about writing chapters in different perspectives, but to do that would completely change the story and where I am trying to go with the story - since I plan to go beyond a little bit beyond the prank. Thank you one last time for taking the time to review and give your honest opinion.

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Review #19, by LovelyMioneWeasleyFalling Star: No Turning Back

11th June 2011:
Hi there,
Well you certainly managed to make this an intense chapter but I can't help but agree generally with all the points you were making in ths chapter. This is an inncident I believe was mentioned once or wtice in the books and I know that other writers have taken this whole idea and begun to play with it and how it affected the rest of the Maraduers and such.

I think that you are doing a good job keeping everyone in character; James' reaction seems to be plausible in my mind as well as Snape's. Snape does seem a bit eager to worm himself out of trouble; I think that he would be a bit more calculating so maybe somehow you could relay the difference in your writing.

Your chapter are extraordinarily long, I think, for the type of story you are pursuing; I think it'd be more effective as being split up or something like that. But that's just my major opinion.

I think that overall, I feel like I'm reading seperate one-shots more than actualy chapters simploy because each chapter seems like it could just stand on its own.


Author's Response: Yea I know a lot of writers have written about this event; just figured I'd try. I always figured Snape would try to worm his way out of it, but it would be in character to write him more calculating. I've always written long chapters and I have heard that before that they are a bit too long...Thanks again for reviewing

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Review #20, by LovelyMioneWeasleyFalling Star: Chain Reaction

11th June 2011:
Hi there, LMW from the forums with your requested review.

First off, I just wanted to say thank you for requesting a review. It is always my pleasure to be able to read more stories and be able to give my own opinion on different writing and on different stories that clearly take place.

Okay, so first off, I'm a bit confused by the whole chapter itself and how the flow works for this chapter. It seems like there should have been breaks in how segregated the different sections of the chapter. It seems to kind of crash into different spots and it was like I was reading a new whole spot of the story.

Sirius, for the most part, seems like he is in character--being with James, hating his family, getting all stirred up about his mother being there, offering Snape the opportunity to make a fool of himself, and he getting upset. I am also curious about the Professor and why the professor felt the need to pick out Sirius to try to help.

I'm curious to know how Regulus will fit into the entire story. I also think that overall you did a good job with this chapter other than flow. I would reccommend working on that.


Author's Response: Thank you for your review. Regulus will be in the story later, though he won't be a huge part.

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Review #21, by LovelyMioneWeasleyThe Seer: Epileptic

11th June 2011:
Hi there, love, final chapter and it was definitely good to read this one. I think that you have done an exceptionally good job on creating this sort of situation that seems so normal, sad but normal, and making it have that HPFF magical twist. I was particularly imprssed on the entire exchange between James and Harry.

James and Harry's relationship seemed so normal and so loving. I found it to be refreshing to be reading about a medical situation and it isn't being handled in this weird obnoxious way simply because its Harry Potter and one of his kids. I read this and felt like it could have been any son and father; I feel like you did such a great job making them more human for us to relate to as readers.

I also loved that idea that you had for James' "punishment" and James' treatment seems like a reasonable bit for a mixing of Muggle and Magical worlds. I also think that James did a good job of interacting with the Healer like an adult. It made him seem to have some maturity. I applaud you for that instead of making James seem so immature.

Overall, I loved the chapter and look forward to see how you continue with this story and I hope that you continue to work on it. Let me know about this story, please. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it.


Author's Response: Thank you! Again, you give me such helpful insight. Thank you so much! :)


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Review #22, by LovelyMioneWeasleyThe Seer: Just a One Time Thing

11th June 2011:
Hi there again, love, with your requested reviews. It has definitely been an honor and pleasure of mine to be able to read this for you and be able to review tonight. I had the free time and totally wanted to be able to do this. Because the story seemed very interesting to me when you requested it.

And I think that this second chapter took us to a very naturally flowing fearful reaction of a Mom even Lily. James was pretty scare as he was having the seizure on the floor. And I also felt for all the kids especially Dom because she was the eldest that had to really witness her closest friend/near brother do that before being left to keep track of the younger cousins.

As for them getting to the hospital and revealing the truth about Harry still being in the limelight was a very smart way for you to add some insight about the Potter family as we know them now. And I also liked the other little details that you sprinkled throughout the chapter.

I felt bad for James as he was so weak and tried to so hard; his crying was very good to see. It totally made him vulnerability to me as a character and believable because I think that even a really manly son would have gripped for his mother or for his father, whomever was closer.

I'm also enjoying that you added Harry and Ginny talking into the last of this chapter. I found it all sweet and wonderful to read about. Their relationship is very believable in my mind and I think you did a good job keeping them both in character.

I'm curious about all the electronics, of whether or not, they'd be okay in a magical world and how they'd work. Also I'm curious about whether or not you need to captalize Healer because I thought JKR did that in her books.

Just a couple of points to think about.


Author's Response: Okay! Thanks! That is all very helpful and things I will take into consideration.

Thank you so much for reviewing this story. You really have been a great help, and I would love to see your criticism on the future chapters. :)

Thanks so much! :)

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Review #23, by LovelyMioneWeasleyThe Seer: Seize

10th June 2011:
"Yupp," James answered.--You just need one p obviously :).

You also mentioned Al getting straight 'A's." I think you meant O's since he is at Hogwarts instead of in the Muggle world. Other than that, I didn't see any other major issues or typos. I think that your sentence structure is well varied, your grammar seems good, and I think that you didn't have any issues with tenses or punctuation.

Now onto your plot and characters. I think that you did a really excellent job creating this very believable competitive environment for the three siblings to interact in. Lily would definitely stand off on her own in my mind since she is the youngest and the only girl in the nucleus of the Potter clan. Usually, stories tend to revolve around the idea that James is the perfect child and that Al tries to be like him or that James is the playboy and lucky with girls while Al is the shy guy and not popular with the girls.

Your request just asked for general opinions, and I think making Dom and James close was very nice. It was also intense towards the end with James getting so intensely sick. I think you did a good job making it kind of subtly sneak on but clearly happen. And you ended the chapter in an effective place. It revealed enough about James to make me, as a reader, interested and want to come back to read more. But you didn't leave too much out to make me wonder.


Author's Response: Just one p? Okay. :)

Thanks so much for all of your input. It was so helpful, and I appreciate it so much! it's always needed. Thank you for taking the time to read and review.

I'm glad you are enjoying it, and I hope to see you back for more! :)


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Review #24, by LovelyMioneWeasleyWildflowers: Disastrous

9th June 2011:
Hi there, love, final chapter and I have to say that I haven't been very disappointed with this story. I was a bit hesistant just because Sirius/OC stories have turned into such huge cliches for me but I really just enjoy your writing style, I think.

I also find Elsa to be this breath of fresh air as far as OCs go because she just seems like the kind of girl I could potentially be friends with. I would like to be friends with her in real life and spend time getting to know her better.

I also love that you had her brother attack her. I know it sounds cruel but I think it adds this real dynamic to the story. Now I want to know what changed over the summer for her and why she is fearful she'll turn into him. I also liked that her 'betrothed' was unhappy about the whole situation. You also used the potions and Hospital Wing wisely. It was believable and a very neatly added dramatic twist that I could totally see possible.

Well done on all accounts with this chapter!


Author's Response: Thanks again. Yes, writing Sirius/OC is tricky and dangerous and can become boring and cliche. When I set out to write this, I wanted to avoid those cliches. Some, I am sure, will be unavoidable, but some I make sure to avoid like the plague lol.

I don't want people to read my character and go "she's too perfect" or "she's a mary sue" or what have you. To me, she is a normal human being who has her flaws. She struggles with school work, and family and her friends. She doesn't have everything go her way, but she excels at certain things (potions & quidditch).

Dominic's character (while scary) is what makes the story a little more interesting to me. He's fun to write, and adds a bit of flare to the chapters he's in.

Thanks for the reviews, and I hope you won't mind if I come and request more.

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Review #25, by LovelyMioneWeasleyWildflowers: Potion Hazard

9th June 2011:
Hi there again, love. It was definitely another lovely chapter to read about. I found it definitely impressive that you were able to transition so nicely between each of the scenes you'd written about. They were all kind of stand on there own but you figured out a way to sail smoothly between each one.

I also loved the mentioning and including of other Pureblood families like the Crouchs. It is a reminder to the readers and probably the truth that JKR wanted readers to realize: Not all Purebloods were automatically put into the house of Slytherin. I imagine quite a few of them (beyond Sirius and James, of course) were Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Well done on that point.

I also liked the idea with the Amorentina. The only issue I had was lack of Evans. I would be more curious to see how Slughorn interacted with her or even mentioning James trying to catch Lily's attention. I think it would have added an extra layer to the chapter, a side detail that would help the reader really get into the story and all elements of this era because we do know it as the Maraduers era; let's have all the elements of it.

Well done otherwise.


Author's Response: Thanks. Transitions can be tricky and sometimes not done very well. It is something I struggle with, but I'm glad you think I did a good job with it.

I can't see every single pureblood family ending up in Slytherin. It's just not logical. There had to be a few who ended up in the other houses. Though, I'd imagine more in Ravenclaw than Hufflepuff, but that's not to say they won't end up where they belong. You never know where the Sorting Hat'll put you.

I'm afraid for a while Lily doesn't play a huge role in the novel because Elsa and her aren't friends. More of acquaintances who have a slow developing friendship. She will come along eventually.

Thanks for the review!

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