The beginning is so sad! Poor James - he needs to be happy again! And hopefully he will be soon if the ending is anything to go by =)
And Alex... wow, he's so deliciously evil. I felt really bad for him after he explained about James pranking him though. I suppose that would really hurt even a guy like Alex. Jett in the end was so perfect! I really hope he and James make up soon, it would be a shame to see their relationship totally destroyed.
I loved this chapter! I've been waiting so long for it to be posted, but I completely understand how easily life can get in the way of updating, my own stories usually go a month or three between chapters too!
Keep up the great work =)
10/10Author's Response: I know! The beginning is sad :( But yes, hopefully things will be getting better soon.
Alex... Alex is a piece of work, I'll tell you that. But he is still human, and he actually does feel justified in what he's doing, considering everything that James has done to him. But Jett at the end - yes, things are getting better.
I'm so glad you loved it! I know, it's been a really long time. Hopefully I'll be less busy because it's summer now :D Thank you for understanding, though, and thank you so much for the lovely review ♥ Report Review
So cute! I loved it.
God, Alex is disgustingly evil. Haha.
Can't wait for the next chapter! Great work =)Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad!
He is very evil, isn't he?
Thank you for the review! Report Review
Naww so sad. Poor Jett =(
And James too lol
Great chapter once again! Can't wait for the next one.Author's Response: I know... Sad :'( It'll get better though, I promise. Thanks for the review! Report Review
A cassette player! That made me laugh haha poor Lily getting the wrong idea. I really like this story but the chapters are so short, it's like I kinda just start really getting in to the scene and then it stops quite suddenly.
Your writing is very good, it just makes me want to read more =)
Keep it up!Author's Response: Thank you for all the reviews :)
This chapter was just a filler, but I know what you mean.
There will be longer ones as we go, but mostly I don't like to drag them out if I feel that there's nothing more to the scene.. Report Review
Yay she used her skills! I like that Sirius is kinda figuring it out, she didn't really make it too hard for him!
I do enjoy this story and I don't think you should stop writing.
A couple of suggestions though would be to really take a look at where you want this story to go and any main story-lines it has, then just work from there on achieving them =)
Also I would love more description on the backgrounds on the characters, not just Iris but the other main ones that she interacts with.
I think it's a good story and a really good idea though. I love how Iris is a Metamorphagus and I hope that fact becomes a main part of the story.Author's Response: I have an idea where this is going, I just have to fill in some blanks before I get there. But there's more action coming up in the next chapters..
The reason for the lack of descriptions is that I sort of see this story like movie scenes, and then I try to squeeze some more information in there, but they have to be relevant to what is happening at the time.
I hope that was helpful :) Report Review
"Great. Now, I've stooped to marauder maturity level."
That made me laugh haha I really like this chapter (and the appearance of Sirius, yay!), but I haven't really sensed a firm story-line just yet, like what Iris' aims and goals might be? I'm interested to see what will come up =)Author's Response: It is intentional that you haven't figured it out yet, because Iris herself hasn't.. but it's all leading somewhere, don't worry ;) Report Review
Wow short chapter! But I like that it introduces the room mates. I feel like you should write more about Iris herself though, I have trouble imagining what she looks like. Also I hope she starts using her Metamorph skills again at some stage =)Author's Response: You're right, I haven't really described Iris. I guess I just forget that people don't know what she looks like, like they do with all the other characters :/ I'll have to work that in.. Report Review
This chapter was good with the introduction to the other Slytherins, and it's funny how Iris despises them enough to never even remember their names. Male Bulstrode and Female Bulstrode, that made me laugh, as well as Kreacher looking forward to his future (Sad, but probably true knowing him lol)
I really like your writing style, it flows smoothly and is really easy to read. Can't wait to read what happens next =) Report Review
Nice start! Short and to the point =)
I like that Iris (Grey?) and Lily are becoming friends, it really says a lot about Lily's character. I also like the dialogue between the two of them, it's very natural.
Great work! Report Review
This is great! A perfect description of Luna and Rolf, I think. I really enjoyed reading it. Your writing is very descriptive and engaging, I couldn't find any problems with it at all.
I especially liked how Luna wore yellow on her wedding day, it's just so like her and fits perfectly with her character.
Great work! =)Author's Response: Thank you so much for this! I feel very grateful that you find my work descriptive and engaging!
I absolutely HAD to have Luna in yellow for her wedding day! XD It couldn't have been any other way :)
xChar Report Review
Very cute! Overall I thought it was a nice story, you have a good descriptive way of writing which makes for an easy read =)
I have a couple of concerns which are there were a few spelling mistakes in places, but they can be easily fixed. Also you swapped tenses in some places and at some times I thought the dialogue was a little stiff between James and Lily, but maybe that can just be contributed to the awkwardness of a first date!
I think you did a lovely job though, I enjoyed reading this =)Author's Response: I'm still looking for a beta for this so hopefully I will have one soon to fix all those small errors. I'm glad that you enjoyed this and liked my description! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
(Slytherin Review Tag)
I think it was a great start, I like the use of the House Elves in the first few paragraphs and how they were preparing for breakfast. This chapter was very vivid and detailed which made it easy to envision the scene. The way that you wrote how Walburga and Orion treated their sons in very different ways I thought was really realistic.
The only small problem I found was in these sentences:
"... a small team of house elves was preparing an elaborate breakfast..."
"... A pair of them was working together..."
I think that if you replaced the 'was' with 'were' that it would flow a bit better.
Apart from that I thought it was really good, you're definitely a very talented writer :)Author's Response: Hi!
I'm glad you liked the detail in this scene and felt that the characterization was realistic. As for your comments on grammar, I believe the way it's written is actually correct. I struggled a bit with the second sentence you mentioned, but apparently subject-verb agreement states that "a small team" and "a pair" are both singular and thus require singular verbs. I realize that it flows a bit awkwardly, though, and so I appreciate you pointing it out to me all the same :)
Thanks for your kind review!
Amanda Report Review
I have no idea who that could be?
The thought of a little first year Lexi kicking Snape is so funny!
And I love her obsession with Noel and how all she wants is to marry him haha. And Oliver is sooo adorable, of course.
I really like the story so far! I thought this chapter was good and I can't wait to read the next one =)Author's Response: AH! CLIFFIE! You'll have to wait and find out :p Ooh, I love Lexi and her Noel obsession. I'm glad you find her funny :) Thanks for the lovely compliments! I'll try to update soon :D Report Review
Great start, I think this first chapter is really well done!
It's nice and short, and really to the point. You've defined such a great character for Lysander, how he has trouble talking to girls is such a realistic thing for some guys his age. I do hope he doesn't have too much trouble with it in the future!
I laughed at the bit where Lysander thinks Lorcans better looking than him, even though they're identical.
I only have one small concern which is I think words like Quidditch and Quaffle should probably be captalized. Apart from that I think this is really great and you have the makings of a very interesting story :)Author's Response: Wow! thanks so much for the wonderful review! I'm so glad that you really enjoyed this chapter! I hope to get a beta for this story soon to help with the small mistakes. thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
Aww Jett is like the best ex-boyfriend ever. Haha.
James punching Alex was awesome!
I'm not sure when you updated but I hope you update again soon! And I really hope Aria gets over her pushing James away phase soon too hehe
Love the story, can't wait for more!Author's Response: Yes, he is! Yay for James! Hopefully I'll be updating soon-ish... life seems to keep getting in the way :( Thank you sosososo much for all of the wonderful reviews! Report Review
Alpacas. No doubt they're the coolest animals ever haha.
I can't believe Jett broke up with Aria! And James loves her, aww too cute.
Alex is a creep. Ugh.
Great chapter!Author's Response: GAH. ALPACAS. THEY ARE AWESOME. I agree with all of your points and I'm glad you liked the chappie! :D Report Review
They kissed! Yay! But yeah poor Jett and everything haha.
Aria's parents are super cute! And the vision of the Aurors dancing at the party is just so funny.
Really, great chapter. This story is awesome =)Author's Response: Yay! But poor Jett :( I'm glad you like her parents - I have so much fun writing them. Thank you so much (again!) :D Report Review
James is so argh! Adorable.
I don't like Aria being mad at Jett though, he's super adorable too =(
Can't wait for the Christmas Party! The preview is hilarious.
Great work!Author's Response: Haha, they are both super adorable, aren't they? I don't like her being mad at him either :( Thanks for the review! Report Review
Wow, that really was intense! Aww I love Aria and Jett... but I also love Aria and James haha confused, much? Once again, I love this story! On to the next chapter =)Author's Response: Yay! And you're supposed to be confused because she's very confused as well! Thank you so much for another lovely review :) Report Review
Nooo Sarah! I mean, Sophie. Poor Aiden, him and Sophie would be so cute together.
Aria + Jett = Adorable. That is, when they're not fighting haha.
I love that James apologised to both Jett and Aria that was so nice. I'm still wondering about this whole "Bel" thing?
Merlin, what is going on here? James and I are... getting along? I want to be his... friend? What is happening to me?
It’s about as romantic as McDonald’s. But at McDonald’s, you get food.
Loved the chapter... but it feels like there's hearts breaking all over the place! I'm hoping everything will work out okay though =)Author's Response: Haha, Sarah. Grr... they would be so cute. The "Bel" thing... You'll find out about that eventually. But I'm not saying anything now xD Thanks! And hearts /are/ breaking all over the place :'( I hope it works out too! Report Review
Noo James! That was so mean =(
I don't like Jett and James fighting... they're supposed to be bff's!
Again, I love Dom and the way she squeals at everything, it's so funny. And Aiden! Gosh he is sooo funny ("Oh, hi, Sarah.") and over the top, just as you would expect a Wood to be! (And I abso LOVE his chap image!)
Poor, poor Rose though =(
Oh, and poor James I guess =p
So many fave quotes from this chapter! I picked a few:
Yes, I forgot to bring my broom to Quidditch tryouts.
DON’T JUDGE ME. MY BRAIN IS DISCOMBOBULATED RIGHT NOW.
Rose is going to murder me. And she’ll get away with it too, because apparently her family is super-important.
“TRAITOR! TRAITOR!” he shouts, dropping his broomstick and running towards me. “YOU JUDAS! TAKE IT OFF!”
And then he tackles me.
Great job! I haven't read a story I like so much on here in forever so it's great to have found this.Author's Response: I know. It was mean :( I don't like them fighting either. Hehe, I LOVE Aiden. I based him off of one of my friends ;p Wow! Thank you so much! I'm glad you found it too! Report Review
Aria and Jett! Yay! Definitely believable haha but poor James... he's great too.
I love how enthusiastic Dom is about everything, she's so funny.
Great chapter again! On to read the next one now =)Author's Response: Haha, yay! I'm glad you find it believable :) And Dom :D Thanks! I hope you enjoy the next chapter! Report Review
The "party" was great, it totally fit in with something James would come up with. I'm really intrigued now about Alex and what he's done to make James hate him so. As always Jett 'Tiberius' is awwwesome haha my fave character so far. Great chapter!Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you liked it :) You'll find out about Alex later on. Jett is one of my faves as well :D Thanks for the review! Report Review
Oooo I love Jett haha this is really great so far! Looking forward to the Wotter party =pAuthor's Response: Ooh, I love Jett too! Thank you so much :) Report Review
Short, but hilarious. The awkwardness was just so real haha liking it so far. Report Review
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