Reading Reviews From Member: HarryPotter is my LIFE
  
130 Reviews Found

Review #26, by HarryPotter is my LIFEBetween Us: ~C~h~a~p~t~e~r~1~

20th October 2008:
Of all of the stories of yours (that I have read so far) this is my favorite. I think it exibits the most reality, the most description, and the most consistant prologue. (Others were too fast, or too packed with information.)

One Thing: ". . .Oh well, I at least know that it can't be James Potter!""

It seems to be just a little too perfect that the one person Lily thought couldn't be the Head Boy, was the Head Boy. The whole scene/sentence was fine without that addition.

Other than that, I love the scene at the Potter's house, where you show that Sirius is very much loved and part of their family.

Totally looking forward to reading on.

Also, I wanted to use this review to ask what your username on the forums is because I searched your penname and nothing came up. I also wanted to know whether you wanted a slightly nicer picture of Helen Bonham Carter (since Bellatrix seems to be portrayed in a nicer way in Arabella.) And keep in mind that I can always change it if you don't like it.

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Review #27, by HarryPotter is my LIFEBFFL: Prologue-Six Years Before

20th October 2008:
I decided that in order to get the feel for the banner, I was going to read your stories first. I like the story so far (I'm a sucker for the Marauders Era.) I just have a few questions and suggestions. (Hey, that rhymed.) :D

Question: Why is it that you don't Esme Squalor? Is she a character from another story? (Twilight, perhaps?)

Also, there's lots a dialogue, not too much description, and everything is moving quite fast. While you're writing, take a breath, relax, and try to place yourself in the scene. Give some more imagiery - physical characteristics, facial expressions, and anything going on in the background as well.

Like I said, good start.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!
Oh and Esme Squalor belongs to Lemony Snicket in the Series of Unfortunate Events.
THank you for the advice!


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Review #28, by HarryPotter is my LIFEThe Game: Chapter the First

20th October 2008:
Good start to the story, I've never seen Big Brother, but this is an interesting start.

A few things:

"It says: Welcome. You have been accepted onto the Bi0g Brother show, along with ten other people. You have one hour to pack and arrive at the Big Brother house. You should be warned that the reward to be one of the last two in the game is great. 1st palce: 500,000 galleons. 2nd place: 50,000 galleons. I'm doing it. What about you guys?"

This little bit of dialogue is confusing. I had to read the last part twice so that I was sure that Harry had stopped reading the letter and started expressing his opinion.

Also, as Remus introduced the characters, you neglected to include Hermione.

Both very small things, but effect the overall quality of the story just the same.

In all, it was a very entertaining start. My advice, however, is that you slow down a little bit; add a little more description, "show" a little more. Put in more characterization and emotion. Versues the large amount of dialogue and "telling" description that you use. I look forward to reading more. :)

Also, I responded to your review, but decided to leave you one incase you didn't check; I'd be happy to make a banner for you, just contact me in the forums, or give me all the info I need through a review.

Author's Response: Thank you!
My banners are horrible, so I needed a new one.


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Review #29, by HarryPotter is my LIFEThe Blonde, The Brunette and the Red Head: A Marauder Tale: Together

3rd June 2008:
eh, i'm not so into the whole mia/remus couple thing. but it's not cause of remus, it's just cause of mia. she bugs me. but other than that their whole relationship is well-written and cool and stuff.

i think it would be great if sirius fell for charlie, but charlie didn't fall back. i mean, sirius obviously needs someone who can keep up with him in every single aspect, and that's charlie. but charlie just isn't into all that dating and stuff. so i think that would be a great way to go.

but, it is your story, and you write it incredibly. so, keep going!

Author's Response: Oh wow! This is such a great review! Although if I went with your idea, Sirius would feel pretty cut up...Oh well!

Thank you for the amazing review!


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Review #30, by HarryPotter is my LIFECuriosity Killed The Cat...: I'm Back Baby!!!

2nd June 2008:
eh, honestly i'm not too excited to have ana back. i definetely enjoyed just have harry chill in the marauder era. but, it's totally not my story, and i still enjoy reading it, so it doesn't matter too much.

your writing is getting much better; better flow, less typos. the only thing i wanted to point out was the A/N in the middle of the chapter was a bit distracting. but that's it.

okay, so i was thinking about your summary problem, and i think that i've come up with something that'll suit you:

If Harry thought defeating Voldemort was difficult, he was in for a suprise. The savior of the Wizarding world obviously never tried to travel back in time to get his parents together while being mute, hated by James Potter, and followed by his crazy twin sister. Follow Harry and Ana as they attempt to get their parents together, or risk not being born.

maybe something like that? nice chapter, looking forward to more!

oh, and it would be in the 70s not the 80s.

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Review #31, by HarryPotter is my LIFECuriosity Killed The Cat...: I Wouldn't Talk To You Even If I Could...

2nd June 2008:
ahaha. i totally shouldn't be laughing at Harry, cause this sucks for him, but i am. man, i defintely wouldn't want james potter mad at me.

you're getting a lot better at pacing your chapters at this point, which make them much more enjoyable to read. however, you still might want to think about drawing scenes out a little more, and even though this 3rd person point of view isn't omniscient, you might want to at least include the outward responses of the marauders.

"you're a a really good teacher." and winner of the corny line award goes to -lily evans!

good chapter, they just continue to improve!

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Review #32, by HarryPotter is my LIFECuriosity Killed The Cat...: Awkward? Never...

2nd June 2008:
good chapter, i'm liking this story quite a lot now that it's set in the marauders era. i've got a fetish with that era.

i'm still wondering where ana comes in getting their parents together, but i suppose she just hasn't arrived yet.

aww, poor harry, he can't talk and he's already being persecuted by his fellow classmates.

okay, to request a banner you need to go to the home page, scroll down, and there's a link to a place called the dark arts. there you can register and request a banner. if you don't want to go through the hassle, you could give me a description of what you're looking for and i could make one for you. i like to think i'm a fairly good banner-maker.

as for the summary, it's not too bad, just a little out there. you might want to include a few more details. oh, and speaking of the summary, i'm definetely excited for those yoda fans! (cause i'm one too!) :D

good chapter, i liked it!

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Review #33, by HarryPotter is my LIFECuriosity Killed The Cat...: Saying Goodbye And Purple Eyes

2nd June 2008:
i love the idea of the slip and slide; i seriously might try that next time i'm feeling a little down.

just the picture of harry chillin with a white board and an eraser makes me laugh a bit; lovin' it.

poor harry, still a mute. is he ever going to get his voice back? or be cursed without talking forever. i think i might have killed myself already had it been me.

again, i have a few qualms with ana's charcter. i still can't see any bad traits in her, and mary-sue's just tend to get on everyone's nerves. her ability to get whatever she wants from anyone is annoying, and it's just totally improbable that minnie (or M&M (kickin nickname, by the way)) especially would just give in.

not a bad chapter overall! on to the next!

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Review #34, by HarryPotter is my LIFECuriosity Killed The Cat...: The Mission And Tickled Pink

2nd June 2008:
haha, poor ana. i think i would cry if i had to make my hair pink.

the only thing that bugs me about her is her insubordination to old voldie pants. it's one thing to mock him with the order, but it's another to leave this power completely unacknowledged. however horrible he is, his power is great and her messing around while in a duel with him is something that would never her worked with voldie in the books.

other than that, there are were much few typos in this, and it got better even as if progressed through the chapter.

and iris; just another thing like the whole harry's twin. sirius' long lost daughter is a big cliche, but as long as you write it well it should be fine.

so, kudos, and i'm super excited to see these two in the marauder era.

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Review #35, by HarryPotter is my LIFECuriosity Killed The Cat...: Victories, Losses, And Purple Pickles

2nd June 2008:
not bad. i like the story idea, just a few things i wanted to point out.

there are a few typos, not so many that it gets annoying to read, though. i don't know if you've ever read a story like that? it's pretty bad. but don't worry, this wasn't like that. (okay, rambling now.)

also, the chapter was paced a little quickly, and slightly jumpy. if you took a little more time to extend the scenes, it would flow a lot better.

harry's twin is a big cliche, and a little mary-sue as well. you might want to consider adding an AU warning because of the twin, and also try to balance Ana out with some not-so-great traits.

in all, not a bad start for your first fic, i look forward to reading more!

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Review #36, by HarryPotter is my LIFEThe Inventory: Task Twelve

19th May 2008:
lick remus lupin. absolutely bloody hilarious!

Author's Response: bwahahaha!

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Review #37, by HarryPotter is my LIFEThe Blonde, The Brunette and the Red Head: A Marauder Tale: Butterflies

14th May 2008:
awww, not too much charlie in this chapter. still freakin awesome though.

i think it's so cool that the tone an author uses towards a character effects how the reader sees it. i mean, if charlie was the same person, but you showed her in a bad light, everyone might not love her as much.

anywho, great chapter! can't wait for another!

Author's Response: Yes if Charlie was simply a Slytherin everyone would hate her! hahaha!

Thank you for reviewing! =D


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Review #38, by HarryPotter is my LIFEThe Blonde, The Brunette and the Red Head: A Marauder Tale: Forever and Ever and Ever

7th May 2008:
ahaha i love reading about all the things Mia says and does because i know this girl just like her. and, no offence to your character, of course, that girl just wants to make me pull my hair out of my head. XD

i just love how clever charlie is and all of her antics. can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: I'm surprised at the response to Charlie, I thought most would hate her!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #39, by HarryPotter is my LIFEExpectations: Odd Words Goodbye

4th May 2008:
Good. I really liked it a lot. It wasn't boring, it was just slow-paced, as all first chapters are. I liked the descriptions that you used, especially in the beginning.

You used the traditional characterizations of the Marauders, but I'm sure we'll learn more about them in later chapters?

I really have nothing bad to say, other than that the dialogue between Lily and her mother was a tad rushed.

But, so good! I absolutely love Lily/James pairings so I'm very excited to keep reading! Well done, and continue writing!

Author's Response: why thank you. and yea i like those characters, they're the ones i fell in love with so yea and why change the classics? yea everyone has their little fairytale ending OOPS revelation. lily's mom dialogue was a rush because her mom had to go and her mom is very bad with goodbyes. anyways thank you for the review and please continue reading the next chapter is up!

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Review #40, by HarryPotter is my LIFEThe Blonde, The Brunette and the Red Head: A Marauder Tale: Study Date

27th April 2008:
ahahaha. oh my goodness that was so funny. i guess the moral of that chapter is that arrogance can somtimes back fire.

(but in the meantime, it's fun!) :p

haha, excited (but not pestering) for the next chapter!

Author's Response: haha yeah it can.

And sorry all for my little outburst... *is feeling guilty*


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Review #41, by HarryPotter is my LIFE:

26th April 2008:
okay i wasn't really sure how to communicate with you, so i just decided to do it through another review.

first, what size do you want the banner to be. and also, if there are any specific characters, or character descriptions you're looking for, let me know. and...any other specifications too.

(still love the story! :D)

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Review #42, by HarryPotter is my LIFE:

24th April 2008:
hmm, i'm liking it. you change point of view sometimes in the middle of sentences, so just watch out for that. sometimes, also, the story moves a bit fast and is hard to catch.

other than that, great job! i'm loving it. also LOVED your other story, Gypsy to no end as well.

oh, and i'd be happy to make a banner for you if you'd like? just answer this review with whether or not you'd like for me to make it and i'll check back.

Author's Response: oh my god!! yes! please do!! thank you so much i was dying for someone to offer!!! sorry for not answering earlier though...

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Review #43, by HarryPotter is my LIFEThe Blonde, The Brunette and the Red Head: A Marauder Tale: Charlie, Queen of Torture

20th April 2008:
ah. this story just keeps getting better and better.

i can't take it! theres no way ill be able to wait for another chapter! i cant tell if i like the storyline or the characters more!

good freakin job!

Author's Response: Hey thanks!

Wow, I think that's the best thing I've heard all day!

Thanks for cheering me up with the review! =D (next chapter should be soon enough)


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Review #44, by HarryPotter is my LIFEThe Blonde, The Brunette and the Red Head: A Marauder Tale: What They Think

11th April 2008:
hilarious chapter! i absolutely cannot get over how much i love this story and charlie's character!

hope the next chapter comes soon and happy writing!

Author's Response: It shall be very soon. Trusted Author status is thee best!

Thank you for the review! I hope you become a devoted reader =)


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Review #45, by HarryPotter is my LIFEThe Blonde, The Brunette and the Red Head: A Marauder Tale: Hogwarts

7th April 2008:
i cannot tell you absolutely thrilled i am with your story. it's such a bummer to me that it's not already finished, and i can't just read my whole way through it.

i love the exciting, crazy element that charlie brings to the story, and she just generally reminds me of someone larger than life, which is a good thing.

keep writing and posting, or i might just have to go crazy! :D

Author's Response: =D It'll be a long way until it's finished but hopefully I'll be able to give you a new chapter very very shortly!

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #46, by HarryPotter is my LIFECara Sterling's Guide to the Real World: The Transition;

12th July 2007:
Ugh, I have to drag myself to read this third part. Not that I'm not going to love it, or that I didn't love both previous stories, but, I just know it's going to get all depressing.

I remember all the fun, stupid situations Cara and Co. got themselves into. I'm gonna miss it. But I must read on! I have to see how it ends. I just wish it could all end happy.

Author's Response: cara and co. haha. i like that [=

but thanks thanks thanks !!


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Review #47, by HarryPotter is my LIFECara Sterling's Guide to the Marauders.: Seven Minutes in Heaven;

3rd May 2007:
Oh, you gotta love it. Best friend's overanalyzing things, boring you to death. You know you have to listen, but it's easier to just convince them to talk about something else. Except, I don't think that a friend ever misinterpreted me . . . Oh, that coule mean drama, drama is fun.

Just like your other story (Collide) I love the way you're writing this and the characters. Flawed, quirky, being stuck up for even when you didn't ask. It's a truthful type of writing. You write it how it is, exaggerating the situation where needed, likewise playing it down when needed.

My one criticism is that you're rushing. A few things are going unexplained, like Ryan's hatred, and I'd still sort of like to know what happens. And the fight scene, I would have dragged it out a bit more. Not the point of telling it detail by detail, but maybe a little more of the blind rage and emotion going on, or just the smaller details, or something.

Again, I absolutely have to comment on your song/band choice for the lyrics. Love Fall Out Boy.

Author's Response: me tooo=]]

i appreciate the honesty, really, but i am just a stubborn freak. i had a chapter outline and i stuck to it, i guess, but loll thanks again.

falloutboy is amazingamazingAMAZING.

=]


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Review #48, by HarryPotter is my LIFECara Sterling's Guide to the Marauders.: Here we go Again;

3rd May 2007:
Oo, I like bad Lily. I kind of like her this way, gives room for her to grow as a character; and creates conflict. Yeah. XD

My only critism is that you may have jumped into plot action too fast. I would have liked to know a bit more about Ryan before he cheated on Cara, just to have a little more background, because when I read it, I didn't really feel any hatred, because I couldn't tell what really might have gone on.

On the other hand, I love Cara. She's quirky, crazy, and better friends with the guys that the girls. Just today . . . Well, I won't get into that and bore you, but when you can hang out with guys without being disgustingly obnoxious and flirty, especially when you already have a boyfriend, it's a good thing.

Oh, and one more thing; I absolutely had to comment about how much I love Paramore.

Author's Response: not to brag but
PARAMORE WILL BE AT BAMBOOZLE.
MEANINGGGG I GET TO SEE THEM SATURDAY.

now that i have name dropped and bragged enough

thanks alot. and - i wanted ryan ot be dropped quick, i wanted readers to form their own opinions throughout the series.

itll be important lol.

thanks againnn=]


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Review #49, by HarryPotter is my LIFECollide.: Thursday, December 15th

2nd May 2007:
Oh my god, I can't go on about how much I love this story! I've been reading this for a straight (hour, half hour now?) and I am absolutely in love with it.

The quirky, less-than-perfect characters, and over-dramatic-yet-sadly-true high school drama. And I can completely sympathize with Iris; poor girl's just as much of a clutz as I am. (And maybe just how the guy I like has come to my rescue a couple of times. :D) It's kind of nice to be able to relate to a character, because, often, they're the only one you have any empathy for.

Another thing that I like is your writing style. Whether or not this is your style outside of diary fics, it at least fits this one, because a fourteen-year-old girl is writing this; I hate reading diary fics that sound like they're written by an acclaimed author. Yes, some fics are meant to be written like that, but diary fics are not. So, now that I've repeated the same point over and over simply with different wording, thank you for writing a diary fic in the way that it should.

Author's Response: if you like this style, then if you haven't read it already, i think you'll enjoy my Cara Sterling's Guide to the Marauders story as well.

i would put that as my summary!! i completely agree with the part about acclaimed authors - sometime narrative, humorous ones are better then ones with huge words and flowery writing.

this made me smile alot alot.

thanks againn !!


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Review #50, by HarryPotter is my LIFEOh, But When It Happens: The One with the Ball

21st April 2007:
I just had to review and tell you how much I loved the part with Sirius and the 'I love you.' It probably wasn't as funny as I made it out to be, but I just loved it. Also, something I noticed in the beginning of the story, but didn't comment on was the colour Lily and James rooms were painted. Lily's room was painted the colour of James' eyes, and James' room the colour of Lily's.

Author's Response: Oh ya, I loved the part w/ Sirius because I could honestly just picture Sirius doing this to James. I'm glad you found it funny :D I'm also ecstatic that you noticed the little thing about James an Lily's rooms. I didn't think anyone else did, so thanks for commenting on that!!

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