29

I actually liked this first chapter. A lot of people tend to just fill the chapter with dialogue,but no introduction or anything really, which can make a story less interesting of a read. So, 10/10!

Author's Response: thank you I'm glad you like it, yeah i like having a intro to my stories, it makes it feel like it's has a real begining =]

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28

This is a good first chapter, but it does seem (to me) like the main thing in this chapter is dialouge. Im really don't like stories that have a lot of dialogue. But besides that, I thought that it was good. 7/10!

Author's Response: Thanks. This is my first story that I've let other people read so it means a lot that anyone even reviewed it. The next chapter is short and has quite a lot of dialogue, but I promise I will try to cut back in the chapter after that.

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28

I think that it is good,and I like that it reels me in one the first chapter. But I'm not really a fan of long chapters, but its ok. 10/10!

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review, i really appreciate it! Glad i've reeled you in, hope i can continue to entertain you with the story. As regards to the long chapter, i do appreciate i waffled slightly but it was necessary to get the proper ending to the chapter, the next one will be shorter, promise! But, thanks again for reviewing!

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27

I really enjoyed this, continue please. 10/10!

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26

8/10! I do think that this is a good first chapter for this story. Keep up the good work. But it's relationship, not relation ship.

Author's Response: i know my grammar was really horrible in the 1st chapter since i wrote it at midnight :)

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23

Aww, this first chapter is soo sad, yet so realistic!! I love it! I will definately add this to my favorites! 10/10! Keep up the awesome work!

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21

This is just constructive criticism,but I do think that the whole Hermione changes over summer and one of the boys fall for her is a little over-used but w/e. Anyway, I do think that you need to either get a beta or to go over your story and try to make it flow better. Please don't be offended. I do hope this helps you.

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How long has it been since the battle at Hogwarts, I was just wondering.

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21

I think that this is a rather good story! 9/10! Do you know how many chapters are going to be in this?

Author's Response: 21? I'm confused...I'm glad you enjoy the story! I hope you don't mind me asking: Why 9/10. I'm not sure how many chapters will be in this, though I'm leaning to around 20 or something. Thanks for the review and the wonderful rating!
Allison~

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20

I will definately be adding this to my favorites!!! Very well written! Probably the best that I have read all day. 10/10! Keep up the good work!

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19

I will DEFINATELY add this to my favorites! This is a very good first chapter!! 10/10! I have never read a story where I read the thoughts of a dementor! Very original!

Author's Response: Ty. This is my first creative writing in years and I'm glad people like it.

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18

I really do like this story, and I will definately be adding this to my favorites! 10/10! Keep up the good work!

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16

I think this is a very good first chapter, but I do think that hermione could have told them a little more about the trip. Or maybe a reason why they were going or something. But besides that it was quite good.

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15

Definately an awesome 1st chapter!!! I will definately be adding this to my favorites! The only thing that I think you should change is the sentance "I shoke my head." It should be shook my head." But besides that this was a very exellent! 10/10!

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12

This is a very good start, but I do have some constructive critisism for you. Please don't think that I am telling you to listen me or that I am trying to bash your story (I really am not a mean person). But anyway, I do think that this story needs a little more filler to make it seem less speedy. Did this all happen in one day, or did a day pass before Ginny sent the letter? Either way, I think you should note this somewhere.

But overall, I give this a 7/10! Keep up the good work!!

Author's Response: thanks for the advise i will try to put in filler more often if it will help u guys understand

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11

Aww, I rather enjoyed this. Please consider writing more.

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10

It seemed like a good idea, but I think it was better that this was put to rest. No offense intened.

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9

Wow, thats all that I can say.

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8

Aww, too bad that you didn't continue this. I really enjoyed this. Hopefully one day you will continue it.

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7

I see a good story in the making in this first chapter but I think that it is a little fast(I've been saying that a lot today). I do think it is a good story and I will be adding this to my favorites. But I do think that you should make it flow more and less BAM,BAM,BAM. You know. Like first they are in the boys dorms, then in the common roon, then missing graduation. Its probably just me(i bet it is), but i think that when going from one place to another, try not to make the reader go from one place to another so fast, as it may confuse us. As for the Harry/Ron conflict is it a small conflict or has it gone on for a long time and it is now a big one? 10/10! Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: First off, thank you for reviewing! I can deffinately see what you are saying about the story moving too fast, and I've started to rework the second chapter to slow it down a bit. The conflict you are talking about is the same one that has gone through all of the books. Ron is jelous of Harry's fame, and this problem is slowly going to become a huge problem between them.

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6

I think it is rather good so far, though it is a little fast. A definate 10/10! I will definately add it to my favorites! Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: It's fast...okay. I'll look back over it and see if there is a way I can slow it down just a little without messing up the story line. Thank you for taking note of that. 10/10? I can never get it through my head that people would give me that rating. But I'm extremely happy that you did. It's wonderful and it deffinately makes my day. Thank you for adding this story to your favorties and for the sweet review.

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5

I think this is a very good story. I love the song you chose. Even though I'm not a Harry/Ginny fan and (please don't be offended) and I don't really like romance fics because they tend to be a bit cheesy, I decided to read it and found it very enjoyable. As for your rating, I give you 10/10!

Keep up the good work!

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4

I LOVE THIS! AHH!! I am so adding this to my favorites! Keep up the good work!!!

10/10!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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1

This is an okay start, but I think it could be better. Try to work on having the story flow more, it seems like you were really excited to get to the Draco noticing Hermione part that you left the other parts of the story behind. But it is just the first chapter so, yeah.

As for your rating, 7/10.

Author's Response: Thank you for the info and advice. As you can see, this is my first ff on hpff. So, wish me luck! =P Thanks again. =]

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WOW! That was amazing!! I will definately add this to my favorites! 10/10!

Author's Response: thanks so much!! *hugs*



xoxoprongsieoxox

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