Reading Reviews From Member: twinkletoes
  
70 Reviews Found

Review #1, by twinkletoesThe Diary of Hermione Jane Granger: A hard day

7th February 2006:
keep writing! twinks x

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Review #2, by twinkletoesMidnight masquerade: A new sorting

7th February 2006:
nice story! enjoying it so far. fantastic description at the beginning of the chapter too. twinks x

Author's Response: thank you! yes i just had to put the discription in=) lol love discription:P anyway keep reading, TY for reviewing! *Hugs* XxXxXxX

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Review #3, by twinkletoesAge of Innocence: The Snake & The Lion

31st July 2004:
hey, good story here, i've only read the first chapter and i must say it looks very promising indeed. one error i found, it says early on in the first chapter 'he wrote to Sirius every second day' but Sirius is dead. also, he explains to the Dursleys about Sirius, and it's as though he has never spoken about them before, yet at the end of PoA, he clearly tells them Sirius is his godfather. just a few suggestions, it's nice to see a fellow brit author (or so i'm assuming by the manutd in your email). feel free to check out my stuff sometime *grin* twnx

Author's Response: hehe allright, I'll check out ur work :) And wow i never noticed the error before I'll fix that, must've been put on accident when i was just trying to get the first chapter up, i've been trying to be as accurate as i can. I also didn't finish OOTP until around chapter 20 , although I knew Sirius was dead, hrm thank you so much for seeing that error for me :) And no actually, I'm in America, but I'm pretty british, people tell me that all the time. And I have a huge obsession with Manchester United lol Hopefully someday I'll be living in Britain :)

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Review #4, by twinkletoesClose Quarters: The Dorm

28th July 2004:
A/N: heeeeey everyone :) i would just please like to tell everyone that 'Close Quarters' as you know it will probably not be updated again. that is because i am rewriting it. over the last few months, i have thought of countless ways to improve the story. i am finally going to do what i should have done the first week of posting the first chapter - slow it down. i understand that draco and hermione's love is just too unlikely, it would never happen under the circumstances i have given them. therefore, i shall be editing the whole story, writing it out again completely, fully, right until the end, and posting a new chapter every 3 days. i'm sorry if this will disappoint some people but that's how i'm going to do it. i will, however, leave the existing story up until the new version is updated and completed. thanks for you time, twnx

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Review #5, by twinkletoesArising Temptation: return to the castle

26th July 2004:
woooah nicely done, i'm very pleased with you putting in a good bit of british terminology ("really fit") too many americans put in 'hot' 'gorgeous' and 'stunning' and although brits use these words as well, using the term 'fit' really shows that this is a british story not (yet another) american one

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Review #6, by twinkletoesChanged By Staff: The Prophecy

23rd July 2004:
wooooow goood story! nicely done, you write so well and structure your stories well aswell. keep it up!

Author's Response: thanks! i'll update.... tuesday... give or take

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Review #7, by twinkletoesHidden Talents Show Hidden Feeling: New Classes

23rd July 2004:
oh. dear. god. please, please stop now with the excessive use of the letter 'z'. it isn't 'Hogwartz', otherwise JK Rowling would've written it as 'Hogwartz', but she didn't, she wrote it as 'Hogwarts'. i like the layout of your story but i'm a bit confused as to why you keep using 'z'

Author's Response: Lol thanks. I didn't type the story I had my friend post it and type it for me. I just wrote it on paper. So I will go back and change it. Thank you for letting me know.

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Review #8, by twinkletoesGoodbye.: Hermione's Letter

19th July 2004:
wow that's powerful. a little obscure in parts, and without a proper explanation or very much detail, but still, noone else i've seen has attempted that - go you

Author's Response: thank you! you were like, my first ever reviewer. yeah i know it was a bit unexplained, but hey, it was my first try. minty :)

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Review #9, by twinkletoesAll I Ever Wanted: The Unexpected Gift

4th July 2004:
wow excellent writing, well done, please update, you're going on my favourites :D

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Review #10, by twinkletoesOh the Devilish Games we Play: The Sixth Years Secret

4th July 2004:
hey, your story has begun nicely, and to be honest, you have the most intriguing summary i've ever read *grin* pleeeease write some more, pleeease :)

Author's Response: Thank you ever so much! My new chapter is pending as I'm typing this!

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Review #11, by twinkletoesCrazy Love- The American Way: New Romance

2nd July 2004:
hey :) i know this is your first story, and it is good, it just needs a few things changing. for example, check their, there and they're, make sentences plausible (eg. Hermione would never just think to herself 'I wonder if my best friend is here?'). try to include some background detail :) aaand also please split up your paragraphs, and check all round spelling, grammar and punctuation. with those minor adjustments this should turn out to be a great first story (check out my first story too - it's called 'Close Quarters') :o)

Author's Response: thanks, your right, I need to do a little background....my computer is a little weird about paragraph stuff. But I will try and change things, thanks again....

Author's Response: I think I changed it a bit more......and fixed the paragraph thing...thanks.....

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Review #12, by twinkletoesClose Quarters: The Dorm

1st July 2004:
Author's Note: oh, come on! 50 people have read errm whatever i called chapter 16, and 2 people have reviewed - you lot are getting pathetic! just say 'update' if you like, just let me know you've read it and like it (of course, if you don't, pleeeease leave a review saying why - i know i can't please everyone but i might as well try) all the best to everyone, good luck with all your own stories, twinkletoes xxx

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Review #13, by twinkletoesChanges of the Heart: Chapter One

28th June 2004:
it's a good story, i can see where you're going with a good plot, but the line 'colour of a purple Easter egg' is a bit strange, because 1. easter eggs aren't purple and 2. you could have just said purple. i would be guessing you are American because you write in that style (i have lived in England for 15 and a half years and never have i come across anyone called Kaitlyn or Martie) apart from that though, it's all good

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Review #14, by twinkletoesThe Polyjuice Effect: The Polyjuice Effect

28th June 2004:
ooh nice one-shot, i'm liking the way you write and it's a good plot, if you feel like writing another one any time soon count on my good reviews :)

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Review #15, by twinkletoesSummer Lovin': Chapter 3

13th June 2004:
hey nice chapter, nice story, not really liking this Cassidy person though - she kinda would appear like a bimbo. update s'il vous plait

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Review #16, by twinkletoesA Dangerous Game: Add!cteD

3rd June 2004:
well i am rather glad Add!cteD has been explained, although whilst i assure you it is only my opinion, Add!cteD is quite lame. predictable? does that sound like a word to describe the end of the chapter? i think it does. and although i understand that maybe people say "hella hot" over in the States but in the UK no. and Maya?! how does Maya sound like Hermione? reminds me of mayonnaise. i'm really sorry if i sounded harsh but it's just what i think

Author's Response: I know the name is rather lame but there is a club here that is called addicted and its really fun. The point of the ending was not about knowing who the guy would be cause everybody ( i think ) knows that the guy is Draco but ...the idea was to get you guys to wonder what will happen next with Hermione's reaction or if Sarah will get him for a dance . Or if she (Sarah) will start to like him.About the Hella hot thing . You got it wrong here. Sarah sais that and she is from the States so... . Well at the Maya thing you are right it doesn't sound a bit like Hermione but... i like it more then hermione *shy smile*. Please don't kill me for calling her that. Mayonnaise ? LOL! Glad you told me what you think and i hope you will still do. By the way it wasn't harsh , the mayonnaise thing was really funny. U really got me thinking with this one ;) !

Author's Response: I know the name is rather lame but there is a club here that is called addicted and its really fun. The point of the ending was not about knowing who the guy would be cause everybody ( i think ) knows that the guy is Draco but ...the idea was to get you guys to wonder what will happen next with Hermione's reaction or if Sarah will get him for a dance . Or if she (Sarah) will start to like him.About the Hella hot thing . You got it wrong here. Sarah sais that and she is from the States so... . Well at the Maya thing you are right it doesn't sound a bit like Hermione but... i like it more then hermione *shy smile*. Please don't kill me for calling her that. Mayonnaise ? LOL! Glad you told me what you think and i hope you will still do. By the way it wasn't harsh , the mayonnaise thing was really funny. U really got me thinking with this one ;) !

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Review #17, by twinkletoesShe Will Be Loved: She Will Be Loved

3rd June 2004:
good songfic - i love this song soooo much and although the fic didnt have a beginning or an end really (or a context) it was good for a one-shot

Author's Response: This is my first one-shot, and I wanted to try it. My friend got me addicted to the song so I decided to write a fanfic for it. Thanx for the review! ~*~Nicole~*~

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Review #18, by twinkletoesA Forbidden Fairy Tale: Fights and Fluffy?

21st May 2004:
lalala another amazing piece of literature from the ever stunning ChocolateHorse - well done and update and HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR JUNE 6th lol

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Review #19, by twinkletoesA Dangerous Game: Changes and Feelings

18th May 2004:
i noticed in response to an earlier review you put something along the lines of: next chapter will have more sex. i think thats a bit bad. it's as though you're only writing it for the 'porn' if you will. your story shouldn't be good because of sex, it should be good because of writing, plot and character development. i think i should remind you, not all of us are here for a good bit of Hermione/Draco action

Author's Response: Yes I did and that's because i received a mail that asked me when I was gonna get some action and I had to respond to the person ! :)

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Review #20, by twinkletoesHow To Live: One too many, I think.

18th May 2004:
excellent story - good plot, good language and writing skills and very good the way you can portray their characters well. obviously, if Draco is more grown up, so are his views, which makes this story look a lot more believeable than others *cough* Close Quarters *cough* - UPDATE!

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Review #21, by twinkletoesThe Journal: A Night of Solitude

10th May 2004:
update! it's been over a month. UPDATE!!!

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Review #22, by twinkletoesThe Ichor and the Blood: Narcissa's Silence

10th May 2004:
that wasnt me before by the way. good story just too much of it - 16,000 words in one chapter?! that was enough for 8! anyway update :)

Author's Response: Actually, chapter one and chapter two were the same, but I ran out of room. Thanks for the encouraging words and the suggestions.

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Review #23, by twinkletoesBetween Lions and Serpents: The Lionness and the Serpent King

10th May 2004:
great chapter lol havent seen an author daring enough to switch rons gender update so everyone can laugh some more!

Author's Response: Hee hee; I just loved the image too much to not do it (and I was challenged to put someone in drag. lol). I am glad you enjoyed it :o)

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Review #24, by twinkletoesA Forbidden Fairy Tale: Jinx and Chrookshanks

10th May 2004:
nice story it's got it all update!

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Review #25, by twinkletoesIt's Not That I Care But....: The project

6th May 2004:
good story. you might try speech marks though it would make it easier to read.

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