Reading Reviews From Member: water_lily43175
  
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Review #1, by water_lily43175Year Five: The Disappearing Room

7th June 2015:
Tristan's musings on Emily are heartbreaking. The guy's truly only realised what he had now he's lost it. Although drinking Draught of Tranquility really doesn't help the situation.

I think this Laurel/Dumbledore scene is just about my favourite of this fic. You write him so well, he really would try his best to look out for every student. And what Laurel and Tristan both see in the mirror is interesting to say the least, poor kids. Although perhaps Laurel's knowledge of her desire will help her get better? Her giving her wand away is so heartening.

Oh well Tristan's in trouble. And what a friend he really is to Emily and Laurel when it comes down to it, taking all the blame and refusing to get either of them into trouble.

Hum Lucius and Narcissa tried to take Tristan, this is INTERESTING. Family, eh? Racking my brains again, I have a theory but I'm not so sure it's correct...

Another excellent chapter :)

-Ellie

Author's Response: Yeah, Tristan did sorta take it for granted that Emily would always be there. And while I think he does deserve unconditional love, I also think Emily deserves to focus on herself and what's best for HER. Not that she does a STELLAR job with that or anything. But she's been kind of the innocent by-stander to everything that's been happening to everyone else, and maybe it's HER turn to be selfish and freak out for a moment.

SO GLAD you think I got Dumbledore right! He is SO intimidating to write! And YES, he cares about EVERY student. Not just Harry! And I DO think that this insight will be valuable to Laurel. Plus, she's really hard on herself, so Dumbledore's kindness (and even praise) really meant a lot to her.

A good friend, yes, but also, just SO MUCH SELF-LOATHING. He genuinely thinks he deserves the punishment, even though he didn't commit the crime :(

Well, DISTANT, BARELY RELATED, TENUOUS familial connection. And purebloods being so inbred and interconnected, maybe not all that big of a clue! But I suspect you are on the right track ;)

XOXOXOXOXOXO
-Roisin


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Review #2, by water_lily43175Year Five: Interrupted

7th June 2015:
Okay so yeah Emily's crumbled.

BAHHH so much happens in this chapter and I don't know if I can create a coherent review out of it all. I can't work out if the conclusion I think I've drawn about Tristan is the right one or not. Poor Laurel, trying to straighten herself out and ending up in further trouble. Poor Isobel, just trying to do the right thing and being snapped at for it. POOR ALL OF THEM. It really does feel like things are going off with one hell of a bang. ONWARDS!

-Ellie

Author's Response: POOR ALL OF THEM!

I'm really glad that these characters can invoke sympathy from you. I mean, considering everything that's happening with Harry in the periphery, their individual Teen Drama is objectively petty. But I RESENT that idea! The way people write off Teen Drama, or scoff at "Moody Teenagers" always really upsets me. The stuff they are going through is REAL and MEANINGFUL and it's REALLY IMPORTANT TO THEM. Sure, it might not be war or an epic struggle between good and evil, but why should things have to be relative like that? I just hate the way people write off a person's anguish by saying something like "you have food on the table and running water, stop complaining." Just because one life is harder doesn't mean another life is easy.

RANT OVER.


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Review #3, by water_lily43175Year Five: Torture

7th June 2015:
Wuh, there is TOO MUCH angst in this chapter. Isobel's internal thoughts on Tristan just sum the both of them up, I think, and it's nice to see that their little chat causes her to rethink it all. The poor guy's drowning in self-loathing. In fact all of them are, except perhaps Emily, and it can't be easy for her to have to watch everyone crumbling around her.

Cruciatus curse seems to be a trigger. HO HUM. Need to know things.

Creepy conversation with Quirrell at the end. Ewww go away you bad Voldemort man.

-Ellie

Author's Response: Your comment about her Tristan-angst summing "both of them up" is REALLY on point. No one else has mentioned that, and I hadn't really thought of it that way, but YES.

Yeah, the teenage experience is a LOT about defining oneself and self-reflection, which FAR too often results in self-loathing :( I think Emily is the most immune to it in part because she's had the most consistently supportive and lovely family, and in part because she's honestly just the smartest. They are ALL pretty clever, but I think Em's the most intelligent. She's really the philosopher of the bunch, and thinks about abstract ideas more, which is a better use of one's mind than constant self evaluating.

Ah yes, Voldemort mining ideas from teenage girls. He'd be so embarrassed if anyone found out!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #4, by water_lily43175Year Five: The Trouble With Laurel

7th June 2015:
Okay so Tristan can see Thestrals. INTERESTING. Oh no, no no Laurel don't do it DON'T DO IT. :(

You know, it's a sad thought, but Tristan and Laurel really don't seem good for each other as friends at the moment. They both seem at that point where it's too easy for them to drag each other down. DON'T DO IT GUYS IT WON'T END WELL.

It's also quite sad, really, that Tristan has this mentality of "my friend has a problem but I can't do anything about it so I'll leave it to the other girls". He's doing it with Isobel, and to some extent with Laurel as well. I guess it's partly his personality ANYWAY, and his current mental state doesn't help things. But he's not the first to notice Isobel isn't eating, and if only he said something to Emily, I can't help but think that would spur her on to do something. And instead he just shrugs it off as someone else's responsibility.

But then, I guess that's what they've all been doing about Laurel. Sigh. Kids. Struggles. Teenage years are tough.

And yet having typed all that, Emily and Tristen manage to convince Laurel between them to take food to Isobel. So I guess they are both trying to help. Rambly review alert.

I like Tristan's musings on the Hogwarts Houses. I DO like them, on the whole, and I don't think Hogwarts would be the same without them, but more needs to be done to encourage people to integrate more and to stereotype less.

Oh poor angsty Tristan. I NEED TO KNOW MOAR.

-Ellie

Author's Response: Yeah, Laurel and Tristan are a bit different in the mind department, but they both have a tendency towards self-loathing. I think they have this idea that they can Just Be Themselves together, but they HATE themselves and so they end up just doing really self-destructive horrible things. Junkie Love. So it goes. (OH YEAH, and this was all foreshadowed back in the trippy-potion chapter! The 'junkie love' song Em and Tristan are listening to when the Slytherins show up is called "Drain You" [in itself apt] and the lyrics go like "chew your meat for you / pass it back and forth / in a passionate kiss / from my mouth to yours" which is very icky, and very much describes Laurel/Tristan... ANDANDAND, since I see you read "Interrupted" already, I can say that it's implied that Emily [while psychic] read Tristan's mind and found out he'd made out with Laurel after his birthday. But she's historically pretty sexually active so that didn't bother her much, since she could also tell it was more a "being really intoxicated" thing than a "they LIKE like each other" thing)

Ramble ramble.

UGH, their total inability to cope with Isobel is, unfortunately, pretty accurate to what I remember :( I knew people to suffer with anorexia nervosa, and a WEIRD amount of people sorta shrugged it off or just tried to ignore it. Or didn't even notice at all even when it's ABSURDLY obvious. Plus: the nineties. I think people are a bit more aware today about things like mental health issues, and more open to talking about them.

Yeah, I too love the Houses, but there are some valid points. Even Dumbledore thinks they Sort too young, and I kinda suspect that people might be too complicated to just divide up 4 ways and call it a day. But still, the Houses are fun!

YOUR REVIEWS ARE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE!
xoxo
Roisin



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Review #5, by water_lily43175Year Five: The Little Things (1992)

7th June 2015:
LAUREL CHAPTER OH MY GOD YES.

I love that Sprout does guidance sessions. YES that kind of service would surely have to be available to Hogwarts students, and YES Sprout is the ideal person. Also I love this line: " A studentís troubles were rarely the result of one big thing, but rather a lifetimeís sum of little disappointments adding up." How very true.

Yas virtual confirmation about Tristan's parentage.

And what a lovely job Sprout does in chatting to Laurel. Not at all condescending, just trying to BE THERE.

Ah, yes. It makes sense that Emily and Isobel would struggle to know how to talk to Laurel. It's such a big thing that she's gone through, and I can imagine how awkward Emily and Isobel feel about the whole thing. How do you react around this friend who's become so self-destructive?

And yet poor old Isobel seems about to press her own self-destruct button. Here comes this self-determined discipline again - they all HAVE to stay friends, HAVE to be okay, and she HAS to be the one to hold them together. Even though she can't hold herself together right now. Poor thing. If only she and Laurel could help each other, but Laurel seems a long way off being able to help anyone else through their own mental struggles at the moment.

Those flashback scenes are heartbreaking. And her chat with Tristan at the end ... oh man guys. :( Lovely chapter, excellent depiction of Laurel's struggles. It definitely worked to hold back on her perspective until this moment. NICE WORK.

-Ellie

Author's Response: I'm SO relieved that you thought holding back on her perspective until now worked! I really liked the idea of building up everyone else's ideas about her first before getting into her head, but I was REALLY worried about her first chapter being compelling. After such a build-up I feel like it would be easy to disappoint.

Right?! Sprout WOULD do the guidance sessions, and there would HAVE to be a guidance counselor.

I'm really glad you liked that line. I feel like a lot of readers suspected Laurel might have some sort of DARK SECRET or that there was a BIG REASON for why she was the way she was, and yeah, worried that this answer would be disappointing. Her life is honestly kind of average. A bit sucky, yes, but a lot of people experience sadness and alienation and low self-esteem and it's not usually something that can be explained by just one thing.

Sprout was REALLY refreshing for me to write! All the adult characters, actually (I say "all." It's just her and Mary.)

Oh yes, VERY awkward. Her stint in rehab is a pretty big elephant in the room.

Isobel definitely internalizes everything that's happening with everyone else. Like I said, NOT self-absorbed, but to a fault. She takes all this stuff on and it's so upsetting to her that she gets this pathological need for control. And of course it doesn't occur to her that starving herself actually makes her more OUT of control.

Oh the flashback scene. Went back and forth forever on whether or not to include that. I definitely want to work on it more. BUT, I'm really glad that you liked this chapter!

Thank you again SO much for taking the time to review. As with most stories, there aren't as many reviews on later chapters and it's always SO great to see what worked and what people get out of it. SO THANK YOU!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #6, by water_lily43175Year Five: Recreational Magic Abuse Recovery

7th June 2015:
Oh Isobel, getting jiggy with your mate's brother is either a very good move or a VERY VERY BAD MOVE. Lucky that Emily takes it well. Future family and all that.

And so Emily begins to notice Isobel's little secret. Here's hoping she's there for her with that, more so than any of them were for Laurel - it must be a tough thing to have to tackle with a friend, but it's something that has to be done.

Quick question - did you change the name of Isobel's sister? Because I think she's referred to as Elphia at some point in this chapter, and now I think about it wasn't that the name she was given a few chapters ago? If you're going through and editing then I'm sure that's something you'll pick up anyway, but just to let you know :)

Oh Luna. I think she must be one of my favourie characters, and you write her so well here. "Sick in her heart", YES.

Poor Laurel really is in a bad place right now isn't she? The matter-of-fact way she talks about what she's going through is just so chilling.

TRISTAN. NO BABY PHOTOS. I WONDER WHY.

-Ellie

Author's Response: Hah, yeah. Emily's perspective is a lot more like "well that's a surprise turn of events" than "HOW DARE YOU, MADAME." But Emily is pretty relaxed when it comes to sexuality, and it wasn't really a big deal.

Emily is definitely 'there for her,' but at the same time, not necessarily someone who KNOWS what the right thing to do is. Even trained medical professionals can't always help people suffering from eating disorders :(

THANK YOU for telling me about that stumble. Her name is supposed to be Elphia Iman Doge-Mostafa, and I should REALLY clarify that one is her first and one her middle name. Thank you for pointing it out!

LUNA! So intimidating to write! She's just so special and beloved! I'm so very relieved to hear that you think I got her right :)

Also glad to hear that the matter-of-fact thing worked! "Chilling" was very much what I was going for!

THEY LOST THAT ALBUM IN THE MOVE :p

xoxo
Roisin



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Review #7, by water_lily43175Year Five: Muggle Magic

7th June 2015:
Oh, Isobel, cabbage soup really isn't the way to go. Sigh.

Ah YES Albus/Elphias totally happened at one point. At least from Elphias' perspective. Either that or they were just VERY close friends.

And I love love love Emily's family! Such cool hippie vibes. And, of course, my favourite thing about Isobel's visit is the Muggle/wizarding world comparisons which crop up. James Bond, yes.

Poor Laura, blowing things up. Embrace your skills, Laura!

-Ellie

Author's Response: Oh yeah, that cabbage soup diet is a WORLD of trouble!

Albus/Elphias is SUCH major headcanon for me. Even if they didn't ever get together, I'm CERTAIN that Elphias is also gay and was totally in love with Dumbledore. I hope that they were actually boyfriends :) I mean, Dumbledore had to have had relationships, and Elphias is a strong candidate!

The only muggle family we ever really see interacting with magic is the Dursleys (the Grangers a BIT, but barely), and I liked the idea of seeing a very different kind of family. I feel like a LOT of people would be really into it (I WOULD)

Laura is only little, she'll get there eventually!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #8, by water_lily43175Year Five: War Children

7th June 2015:
Oh. OH. So there are THINGS happening here, BIG THINGS. The conversation with Snape, what is the significance of Longbottom, hmm? And Mary's little inner monologue. She's not his natural mum, is she? Otherwise why the hell would he have a name she doesn't like? Wild theories of him being a Lestrange or something now. HM.

Poor Tristan. He's not in a good place at all, is he?

-Ellie

Author's Response: You read FAST. PROPS.

And I will keep myself from commenting on your theory, but will say: it's not a bad one!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #9, by water_lily43175Year Five: The Big Thing

7th June 2015:
Oh man, I love the whole first scene of this chapter, with Emily and Tristan. So well-written. Also, I LOVE Tristan's view of the wizarding world. I mean, I don't necessarily AGREE with him, but wow, they're all fairly legitimate points. This is getting DEEP. And I love it.

OH NO you don't just stamp on Tristan's tape player! Grr moron Slytherins.

Wait. WAIT. Tristan's mum was a Gryffindor and his dad's a Muggle ... so how does being Slytherin run in the family? BIG THING I want to know what it is.

So lovely to see the gang as innocent, untroubled eleven year olds. Well. Not 'untroubled' per se but certainly a lot less plagued by their issues and insecurities than they are now. Sigh. NEXT NEXT NEXT.

-Ellie

Author's Response: Ellie! You absolutely RULE! Care for my first-born?

Yeah, I don't agree with Tristan's analysis either, but I was interested in the idea of someone being critical of wizarding culture. A lot of these ideas and criticisms came from various things I've seen online sorta making fun of the Potterverse, and I liked the meta idea of folding those things in.

Ah yes, that is an incongruity, isn't it?

Writing them as 11-year-olds was slightly tough, since I'm not sure I know what 11-year-olds are :P I'm very relieved to hear that you enjoyed it!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #10, by water_lily43175Year Five: Self-Spelling

7th June 2015:
Well this is my favourite chapter so far. And, incidentally, I think Isobel is fast becoming my favourite character of the four. It's almost as though her discipline is both her biggest strength and her biggest weakness - because the moment she slips, she just comes crashing down. Poor girl. I think the reason I like her so much is that - aside from her moment of self-pity, almost, when she decides that if Laurel is allowed to crumble, so is she - she puts her friends' issues before her own. She really is a wonderfully well-fleshed-out character. (Pun not intended. Stop starving yourself Isobel, you are most definitely not fat.)

And the moment that we all knew would happen has arrived. Poor Laurel. What a horrifically vivid scene.

And, weirdly, for once Snape's almost don't-care attitude seems almost caring. And yet entirely in character too.

Poor kids. EXCELLENT chapter.

-Ellie

Author's Response: TWO REVIEWS IN A ROW?!?! I AM GRINNING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!

Oh I LOVE your comment about biggest strength/biggest weakness! That is TOTALLY true. I actually suspect that that's true of everyone.

One thing that can definitely be said if Isobel: she is not self-absorbed. Possibly to a fault. She gets very invested in what's going on with other people (which runs the risk of overstepping or being nosy) but sometimes that HAS to happen. I mean, maybe things would be different if she'd been nosier and pushier with Laurel earlier?

As with all things, I think perspective is critical. Isobel and the rest have a dramatically different perspective on Snape than Harry (he might be unpleasant to other students, but he's not NEARLY as abusive with them as he is to him) so they have a bit less reason to loathe him. I honestly LOVE Snape (not in a shippy way, just as a character) so I really enjoyed giving him this moment of kinda-kindness. Canon characters are fun, because you can play around with drawing out of an established set of personality traits!

You are the best, thank you SO much!
xoxo
Roisin


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Review #11, by water_lily43175Year Five: Troll in the Dungeons!

7th June 2015:
Bah, I've been meaning to catch up on this fic for AGES now, like months and months, I am a TERRIBLE PERSON. Oh well, I'm here now, let's see how much I get through. :) I have to say, it's been fantastic to see Year Five gain more and more attention and recognition on the forums in the last few months, although admittedly that's made me feel EVEN MORE guilty for not having caught up on things earlier. (Did I really only get through the first six chapters before? Shocking stuff.)

Tristan's little dialogue with the Sorting Hat is rather wonderful. Poor kid, his head really isn't in a good place at the moment is it? And actually, as an aside, I think that point about the only communal areas being the common rooms is an interesting one. There really isn't all that much encouragement for inter-house friendships, is there?

"Free Time, and Also: Animals". I would LOVE this class.

Oh, Laurel. She's heading down a slippery slope, fast. And it seems as though Tristan is following her path. At least in Isobel they have a friend who is slightly more rational and seems able to spot the warning signs. Hopefully not too late!

Although having said that, it's probably not a good idea to carry on Cheering. Oh kids.

Oh my god. Isobel giving Hermione hair advice. I love it.

I'd forgotten just how refreshing I find this fic, the way it tackles the same sort of issues which affect young people in everyday life, and yet don't seem to affect the kids in the Potter books. Of course, I understand why JK doesn't address this - she covers enough as it is, without throwing in depression and drug use. But it's a really interesting thing to bring into the magical world, and it's really well carried out.

ONWARDS!

Author's Response: OH MY GOSH, YAY! I'm so excited that you're back! I really really enjoy your reviews and this is so heartening! I actually just got a beta, and I plan to go back and polish this story now that I know more (the story itself will stay the same, I'll just be tweaking awkward sentences and the like), so this is a really great time to be getting feedback :)

Yes, the lack of communal areas! The curfew is pretty early and there are so few warm days, so having a friend in another house must suck! I'm glad you mention the thing with the sorting hat, too. That was meant to play as an inversion of Harry's experience [because Tristan is an inversion of Harry! ;)]

Cheering Charms--such a bad idea. The more you think about it, the more you have to think that being able to make yourself artificially happy WHENEVER you want HAS to have some serious implications.

I totally agree with your point about the HP books being QUITE enough to go on--it would have gotten really busy had this all been included. And Harry's WAY too busy recklessly fighting evil to have much time for reckless teenager experimentation. But I just loved the idea of watching Real Teenage Crap play out at Hogwarts! I had no idea, when I wrote this, if anyone would even like it, so it means SO MUCH to me that you enjoy the idea, and think I'm carrying it out well!

Thank you A MILLION TIMES for taking the time to review!
xoxo
Roisin



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Review #12, by water_lily43175Starfall: Back in Black

24th February 2015:
Ah, yes. Now the families of these guys know they're alive, they're going to try their hardest to get them to go home and stay home, aren't they? Yeah, that's not going to happen...

Matt and Selena's relationship becomes yet more fascinating. Whether or not she has romantic feelings for him, she certainly feels differently about him than she does Albus and Scorpius. Actually not sure whether I'm shipping them or not at the mo.

LOVE all the lore, de Sable's had an interesting life...

Author's Response: Okay, so don't try to type 'Sable' with the accent. Lesson learnt.

Most families would want them to go home. We'll be seeing that NEXT chapter. And it is kind of hard to know, to ship or not to ship Mattena (as I have now decided to call them)? At this point I was very much playing it by ear in the writing. They have a Dynamic, it's just hard to quantify.

The history in this chapter was SO MUCH FUN to write.


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Review #13, by water_lily43175Starfall: The Fall that Kills You

24th February 2015:
ALL OF THE FEELS. Lisa's reaction when the dragon fell. SELENA'S reaction when the dragon fell. The six are no longer dead! Poor Hermione, put through the ringer like that. And where is de Sable?!

Pretty sure I say this every time, but you do write these sorts of action scenes so vividly, I LOVE it. NEXT!

Author's Response: De Sablé's cheesed it. He doesn't want to be picked up by the authorities. Glad you liked the action sequence, I recall this one being a right bugger to write.

And everyone panics when people plummet potentially to their deaths... drama queens...


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Review #14, by water_lily43175Starfall: Wing It

24th February 2015:
The puns. OH MY GOD THE PUNS. De Sable still living WHUT. Awesome chapter need moar.

Author's Response: I couldn't resist the puns, and apparently, neither could Scorpius or Matt.

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Review #15, by water_lily43175Starfall: Like a Stone

24th February 2015:
HA, Weasley-Malfoy-hair-fumble-fear, I love Selena.

'saying "you can leave the man you love and become a crazy cat lady" is, like, the worst argument ever. Just so you know.' Lies. LIES. Still standing by the crazy cat lady option in life. I do love Rose and Selena's friendship, they definitely need each other on this venture.

DRAGON BRIDGE? STONE DRAGON STONE DRAGON IT'S COMING.

Rose hoping Albus' principles will stay strong enough to stop her going too far. Oh the feels.

Matt has issues. Poor boy.

Oh man. Raskoph. Ritual. DRAGON.

Author's Response: Rose's hair isn't quite her mother's, but Scorpius' is thick and rumpled. There would be SO MUCH HAIR.

Rose and Selena are such an odd couple, but they do each other good. They ground one another in the ways they need to be grounded.

YEP. Dragon. You knew it was coming.


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Review #16, by water_lily43175Starfall: Whistle in the Dark

24th February 2015:
LOOK AT ME I AM READING AND REVIEWING A CHAPTER YAY.

I am so far behind BOO. So many chapters. So many reviews. Here goes.

(Incidentally I'm sickened that I stopped reading this pre-Portugal, because I remember getting excited about reading the Portugal stuff at the same time as being there, and that was SEVEN MONTHS AGO. I could have had a baby in that time. Almost.)

Anyway, on with the chapter!

Yay Greek! I'm gonna learn Greek properly, I've decided. I'll be like Matt, only less... nerdy. Bless him.

I love love love that point that it's harder to Confound a Muggle now because of all of the computers and whatnot. I think this a lot when I'm pondering over Derailed - what with the internet and globalisation and all, it must be very hard for the wizarding world to remain hidden these days.

So much to say about Eva in this chapter. Her reaction to Rose using Legilimency just says it all, really - she's lucky that Rose didn't stumble upon anything that gave her away, although I can't help but wonder if that was luck or just a well-organised mind. And the fact that she just shrugs it off, that she APPROVES of Rose rooting through her memories ... oh Eva.

Probably should have more to say on this/better words to say it with, but I'm tired and I haven't read this for a while and I'm still trying to catch up and get my head round where we'd gotten to. Anyway. ONWARDS.

Author's Response: Ugh the PORTUGAL BIT. I mean it wound up fine, but you never got here so I never bellyached at you about all the plotting I struggled with. And scrapped. Gone FOREVER. I'm reusing some elements but the really squiffy bloody action sequence I basically story-boarded ended up GOING - anyway. Portugal was Not Good for Writer.

Matt is SUCH a nerd. And yeah, the Statute has to be hell in the modern age to keep. Youtube and Instagram must be the devil to Obliviators. I can only assume that magic has developed to keep up with the internet.

Eva would have to be an accomplished Occlumens to do what she does, and I can't imagine Occlumency is only something you do consciously; it's certainly implied in canon that it can be done without the target's knowledge (Rose just isn't good enough to do that), and so it has to be a form of subconscious training. So even if Rose plunders her dreams, she comes up against her mental discipline. And of course Eva expects it! She's still not used to the gang not doing things the way SHE'D do them.

Yaaay all the reviews...


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Review #17, by water_lily43175The Wizarding World War: The Hogwarts Express

1st July 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review. :) Sorry it's so late!

First off, I love the premise of this. International warfare disguised as a run-of-the-mill Next Gen? I am ALL OVER that. :)

Right from the start, I'm loving all the Weasley kids. You characterise them all superbly, especially their differing ages. I love how Rose, the youngest one, longs to be accepted by her older cousins, who are of that age where they don't want to know... and of course, Victoire's old enough to be above all that, and sits and talks happily to Rose. It's all very realistic. And the boys are also perfectly portrayed!

And a word on the prologue, because I did read it before coming to this chapter. Very intriguing, I wonder if the young girl is actually magical? I'd imagine she'll pop up at some point in the story... but in what capacity? HM.

Good chapter! I'll definitely be checking out the next one. :)

Author's Response: Hi! No worries! Thank you so much for the kind review! I'm glad you like the characters. :) I daresay she will be popping up at some point in the story - and even sooner than I had originally planned for it. :) I hope you keep enjoying the story! I may come back for another review or two... I appreciate your insight, and i'd like to see what you think about how it progresses!!

Thanks again,
Emma


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Review #18, by water_lily43175Full Bloom: I: Sunflower Oil

1st July 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review. :) I'm so sorry it's so late!

First off, I love the way you characterise Narcissa. It's very refreshing to come across a Narcissa who doesn't actually believe in love at all, and who isn't taken by Lucius at first. It makes for a very refreshing take on Lucius/Narcissa, at least in comparison with any which I've read before. Likewise, it's interesting to see Narcissa's role within the family, as basically being the third choice behind her sisters. It makes her and Lucius the perfect match, given he's not a "good enough" prospect for her sisters.

I also liked seeing the effect that Andromeda's elopement had upon the family. It's interesting to think about the damage that her actions did to their reputation within pureblood circles. I hadn't really considered that would be the case, once they'd disowned her, but of course while they would pretend nothing had ever happened, other families would certainly gossip and judge. I also get the impression that even after Andromeda left, Narcissa still felt somewhat overshadowed by her.

Narcissa's father is an intriguing character, too. I like how it's his wife who runs the show, and he just stands there in the background wanting to read his books.

I love the overall nostalgic feeling to the chapter, and also the language you use throughout. It feels very pureblood without feeling too try hard.

All in all, a really good first chapter, and I'll definitely read on once I have more time to properly read and review the other chapters. :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for dropping by and sorry for the late response! :)

I like your observations about Narcissa post-Andromeda's elopement. I think part of the reason she's bitter is also because Andromeda is still a huge presence in the family despite not being there -- it's like she's reaping the rewards without having to suffer through it.

Her mother doesn't run the show, per se. Her father is still an important member of the family -- he's really intellectual and makes some of the harder decisions, but Narcissa's mother Druella has total control over their family's day to day life.

"Pureblood without trying too hard" is pretty much what I was going for. Thanks so much for reading and for reviewing :D


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Review #19, by water_lily43175Year Five: Behind the Mirror

19th June 2014:
"Extend the hatchet! Bury the olive branch!" BAHAHA.

Fluff, as you say, but a very enjoyable chapter nevertheless. The story of how Fred and George discovered the kitchens is revealed! I also liked Tristan and Oliver Wood sorting out their issues, bless them. :)

Inspired music choices, too! Love the thought that Tristan was the only person requesting songs in Muggle Hour, haha.

-Ellie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time for these reviews! It's really encouraging to see where things have worked, and that little jokes or little analysis are resonating.

To say, as I did in the story summary, that Tristan and his friends taught the Weasley's *everything* they know is a little exaggerated--but they definitely taught them about the kitchens!

Thanks again so-so-so much (: The next chapter ("Troll in the Dungeons") has been validated, and the following one is in the queue!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #20, by water_lily43175Year Five: Three Times Charmed

19th June 2014:
Ha, I share Isobel's bewilderment re copious hair loss. SO MUCH of my hair comes out every day, and yet it's still so thick and often untameable. Girl problems.

I really love how much thought you've put into identifying wands for each of the characters. It's nice to read the descriptions and work out how they identify with the specific person.

I really love how well you've developed all four characters, too. They've all become such vivid people with realistic flaws and hang-ups - Isobel's lack of confidence, Laurel's addiction to Cheering charms (and whatever it is that's bothering her which is leading to her wanting the charms) ... all of them are so well defined already and it's lovely.

And I also like that Isobel identifies things about her friends - namely Emily, here - which she doesn't like. Of course, people have traits which are bound to irritate others, and this again makes the four feel much more fleshed out and real.

More music, yay! Love a bit of Blondie! :)

Author's Response: RIGHT??!?! I *still* don't understand the hair thing.

I was SO happy when I looked into wand woods and cores that I was able to find matches that suited each of the characters so very, very well. I'm glad you appreciate it!

Also, I was really concerned that all the music would turn readers off, but I felt that it was a critical point, so I'm glad people are digging it!

xxx


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Review #21, by water_lily43175Year Five: Loose Lips

19th June 2014:
Tristan intrigues me more and more as we go along. The poor guy seems a bit uncertain of his identity. I like, A LOT, the whole theme of wizarding v Muggle world, especially the point that Tristan has, in the Muggle world's eyes, no educational qualifications beyond the age of 11. The books tend to overlook that - granted, that was never something JK wanted to tackle, but the more you think about how the wizarding world operates in secret, the more difficulties arise when considering someone who, for whatever reason, might want to straddle the line between the worlds.

And I'm rambling now.

I do love how the Gryffindor-Slytherin spat can look so different when it comes from a Slytherin's perspective - at least, a Slytherin who's not into the blood purity madness and so is therefore somewhat decent and easier to empathise with. Here, Wood just looks like a 12+ (although admittedly Tristan did hex him for something that wasn't all that bad - mind you, on the third hand I'd be annoyed if it was my workstation which Wood had carelessly bumped into!). Basically the point I'm attempting to make here is that I like seeing the ugly side of Gryffindor, with the assumption all Slytherins are bad.

I wonder what's upset Laurel? Hmm.

I like that the four aren't Quidditch fans. It's nice when people write characters who AREN'T super nutty about it (also I've just written a Quidditch fic and totally put myself off the sport for the time being so it's a relief to find I'll be somewhat free from it here!).

Oh, the Slytherins would start asking Tristan about his lineage the minute he's annoyed a Gryffindor. Tsk tsk!

On I go :)

-Ellie

Author's Response: Discussing the social implications of the magical world was, largely, inspired by an internet trend (mostly on cracked dot cm) doing the same. There's a video called "why Harry Potter is secretly horrifying"--and several articles outlining similar points--which provided endless fodder for this fic.

In the Tristan vs Oliver dispute, my sympathies lie most easily with the geranium (;

Since the story is set during PhilStone, we all know how the quidditch matches go, so I needed to switch things up pretty seriously in order to keep it interesting.

Poor Tristan, with all his muggle pride, stuck in the Slytherin dungeons.


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Review #22, by water_lily43175Year Five: R

19th June 2014:
Oho, I like what you did here. Last chapter we learned the girls' houses, but you kept Tristan's nicely quiet. I'll confess, I assumed he'd be in Ravenclaw, or maybe Gryffindor. But, no, he's a Slytherin! And I hate myself for being so taken aback by that because there is nothing wrong with Slytherin. I really like that he's there though. I like reading about non-purity-nutter Slyths. :)

Tristan's reaction to Neville's name is interesting. VERY interesting...

"Super Baby Harry Potter", tee hee.

I loved the little insight into Emily's Hogwarts background here. Her friendship with Tonks is so adorable! OotP-Tonks is one of my favourite Potter characters. And the Dumbledore wave exchange ... that man is a legend. AGAIN, more development that fleshes the characters and the fic out so well. :)

And more mystery! Tristan's middle name. HMM.

HA, so typical Snape - Tristan follows Emily's instructions, but it's HIS potion that's best of the class and Emily's isn't worth mentioning. Tsk, you prejudiced bat, you.

Emily and Tristan's friendship is lovely. As is what we've seen of Isobel and Laurel's. I particularly enjoyed all the music discussion. THE DOXIES. Love it. :)

Next chapter!

Author's Response: I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE DOXIES JOKE!!!

Also I'm glad that my little "SURPRISE, HE'S A SLYTHERIN" reveal worked. The idea of a reluctant Slytherin was really delightful for me.

Writing canon characters is amazingly fun, yet stressful because people can be really protective (I, for one, feel protective over Hermione--don't get me started on Emma Watson's hair in the movies being so terribly off-mark). Anyway, I'm really pleased when the response is "that's so Snape" rather than "YOU FAIL!"

xxx


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Review #23, by water_lily43175Year Five: The Hex Head Express

19th June 2014:
So I'm only taking one chapter request at a time because I'm short on time, but I'm open to reading more chapters if the first chapter intrigues me. And yours did! So I'm going to read and review the lot :)

When I first saw you'd capitalised "Sophie" as the first word in the first chapter, I thought it was a bit odd, but then you also capitalised "Tristan" when the scene shifted to his perspective, and I liked that. And we start with that technique in this chapter too. Obviously it's done in books a lot, but not often on HPFF, and it's refreshing to see you do that here. I know, this is probably a REALLY daft comment to make, but I wanted to make it anyway. :)

I like Isobel, Laurel and Emily. They all have distinct personalities, and that sort of thing is lovely to see. And THEY'RE ADDICTED TO CHEERING CHARMS. Amazing.

Arthur Weasley smoking it up in his shed. DEAD.

Poor Tristan seems very lost in his thoughts, doesn't he? How very girl-friend like of the girls, to not press him about it but to discuss it the minute he leaves the compartment. ;)

Loving Fred and George already, and Hermione's little cameo was adorable. I liked the gossiping about Harry too. It's nice to read a fic from the perspective of people who know who he is but have pretty much no dealings with him whatsoever. It makes for an interesting slant on things.

Again, I like the little bits of detail that you put in. Like how Tristan's music stops working when they get close to Hogwarts. (Incidentally I get the feeling I'll agree with his music taste.)

Another good chapter, on I go!

-Ellie

Author's Response: Not a daft comment at all! Formatting is an important part of a story, and I'm glad that my all-caps POV intros work. (:

It's funny, a few people have commented that recreational magic was a novel idea--it always seemed so obvious to me! If you can make someone cheerful with a spell, why don't people do that all the time??? So, of course, I decided to create a downside and a context of social stigma--because my story about wizards should be realistic ;)


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Review #24, by water_lily43175Year Five: Prologue (1991): Dozens of Little Televisions

19th June 2014:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review (finally ... I've been without internet for the past week, sorry for the delay!). And I, in turn, was pretty stoked to see your request! I love this sort of fic, and I've been getting a hankering for Hogwarts-era recently. So, without further ado, here goes. :)

I like this as an intro to the story, it's interesting to see how a wizard looks from a Muggle's point of view. I love the thought of Tristan taking forever to "tidy his room", books and all. I also like that Sophie's first thought upon seeing the photos wasn't that they were moving photos, but they were miniature televisions. I guess it's because we're all so familiar with the wizarding world these days that it's interesting to read it all from an unknowing Muggle's perspective.

Your description in particular is lovely here, so full and rich. Of course, it needs to be, because from Sophie's perspective it would be odd if she DIDN'T notice the quills and parchment. But it's well written, which is the important bit. And it's so lovely to read about the wizarding world as described by a Muggle; it's such a wacky, wonderful universe, isn't it?

Tristan seems a lovely character too. Very teenage-boy, hiding in his room, and wanting the girl to remember the night's events of course. ;) I really like his reaction to breaking the Statute too; the panic and shock of it seems so real, but I like that sense of resentment at all he has to do to keep his worlds separate, especially given his parentage.

I think this is a cracking first chapter. Very well-written, and engaging characters too. And kudos for doing a lot of research, because that kind of work really shows through in a fic. :) Thanks for requesting, I'm really liking this so far!

-Ellie

Author's Response: You, madame, are a BEAST, in the best sense of the word.

This whole fic is very much a love letter to the Potter-verse. I had a lot of fun examining the magical world from different perspectives (:


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Review #25, by water_lily43175A Deception: To Deceive

6th June 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review. :)

I was very happy to see your post requesting this, because I do like a bit of Andromeda/Ted. I think they're such an interesting couple and there are a lot of ways in which their story can be told. And on that note, this is a different take on Andromeda to any I've seen before. I liked it a lot, even if it was bittersweet. At first, when I read the quote, I assumed that the idea would be Andromeda loses her pride to be with Ted, but having read the fic, it's obvious that it's the opposite way round - she left her family for Ted, and was too proud to go back. And while this is a different approach than normal, it works well with the Andromeda we see briefly in Deathly Hallows, who seemed very uptight and aloof.

The narrative was spot-on throughout, and Andromeda's pride oozed through right from the start. I particularly liked those little comments about her mud-stained cloak and her lank hair, which so effortlessly told us that she cares for her appearance and yet what she's doing now is more important. Guh, all the layers, I LOVE it.

I like the conscious wrestling in her head over whether she's a Black or a Tonks. Here is a woman who feels like she's completely lost her identity, and you can just feel her drowning in that sense of unhappiness and confusion over where she is and what she's doing with her life. Those last two paragraphs in particular are incredible.

You mentioned rogue commas, but I don't think you need to worry about them. You've written this with a lot of run-on sentences but it's a structure that works, and I didn't come across any commas that felt like they shouldn't be there.

As for whether it's too angsty, I'm perhaps not the person to ask that because in my view, the angstier the better. I LOVE angst. And I loved this. :)

-Ellie

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for dropping by! :)

I'm so glad you like Ted/Andromeda, because I do love them too - like you say, they're so interesting and people can take them in so many different ways. Yeah, the Andromeda in DH was partially where this came from/was inspired by - I always thought of her from there as being very cold and impersonal and kinda wanted to take her character back to that sort of first impression of her that I had, so I'm so glad you liked it!

Gah, thank you so much! I loved writing those little bits at the beginning - I kinda wanted to show her being fallen, in a way, and the mud and things were symbolic in a way. Also, I really didn't want to give her a catch-all out of looking bad, haha - even witches must sometimes have lank hair, right? :P

I've seen her referred to occasionally as Andromeda Black-Tonks, and when the idea for this came I was reminded of it. How important blood and family are for them and so how important it would be for her, so that's kinda where that came from. Also, I just loved writing someone who isn't sure, because it was so fun and so different to most fics, I think, in a way.

Ooh, good - I'm honestly so bad with commas it's unreal! so hopefully - hopefully - I'm improving with them! :P

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review, it was so great to get! :)

Aph xx


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