Reading Reviews From Member: LollieGal
  
80 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LollieGalLuna's Cursed Longbottom: Luna's Cursed Longbottom

1st September 2011:
AngelofDoe here. Here's your review for entering the challenge.

I found this story very gipping through it's entirety. I liked how the whole chapter leads up to Luna starting a new chapter. How everything is being closed behind her and that the only way is to move forward.

It was an enjoyable read and thank you for entering the challenge.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: Firstly, thank you for challenging me. I was unsure about writing Luna as a character, but I guess the whole point of a challenge is to be challenged right? And thanks for the amazing quote too.
Secondly, I'm glad you enjoyed it. My first fanfic ever :D
Thanks again.


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Review #2, by LollieGalNever: Silence

1st September 2011:
AngelofDoe here. Here's your review for entering the challenge.

I found this story quite interesting. The interactions between the two brothers and how it defined Reg's life. I enjoy how Reg saying he is the only one who can protect himself is like slapping Sirius in the face.

Just a thought, maybe you could work on paragraphing a bit to create a better flow.

It was an enjoyable read and thank you for entering the challenge.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm glad that it won 3rd place. It means a lot to me, since I worked so hard on it :)

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Review #3, by LollieGalInglorius: Severus Snape

1st September 2011:
AngelofDoe here. Here's your review for entering the challenge.

This was a well written story. You did the quote justice. The flow of the story runs perfectly from beginning to end. I like how was see the progression of Ginny changing her mind about the situation.

It was an enjoyable read and thank you for entering the challenge.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for the review, and for giving me this quote, it really pushed me to do something different.

Really glad you liked it, thank you!


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Review #4, by LollieGalBest Thing I Never Had: Beautiful

1st September 2011:
AngelofDoe here. Here's your review for entering the challenge.

This is quite an interesting take on the wizard not understanding the muggle world. I like how it's used as the fight between Ron and Hermione and how it implies that one small thing can change the future.

The paragraphing seems a bit off to me. Maybe work that a bit and your stories could flow better.

It was an enjoyable read and thank you for entering the challenge.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I am going to do something with the paragraphs, thanks for pointing it out. I can't wait for the results *crosses fingers hopefully* Love Livvy x

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Review #5, by LollieGalThe Proposal: Epilogue

28th June 2011:
This is a very good story and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Any spare moment I had over the past few days was spent reading this story and every time I had to go do something, I constantly wondered 'what will happen next?'.

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Review #6, by LollieGalDarkness Unhinged: The truth

4th October 2010:
Hi,
I'm just here is say just because you find out your parents are someone else, it doesn't change your personality this much. Your personality is shaped by experiences, so Hermione would have her personality, maybe with a bit of anger towards her parents. But they would still be her parents.

Lollie

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Review #7, by LollieGalHeads or Tails: Doctor?

19th September 2010:
And here's a review for the second chapter :)

This was a good chapter to find out more about Merlaina, but I found it to be a bit 'chatty' for my liking.
That in mind, different people have different writing styles and I certainly sprinkle in dialogue where it is not needed.

Overall, it is a nice chapter, but I feel it could use some breaks in dialogue.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: I have answered the dialogue questions a bit. I have a play writing background and my writing and this story or rather dialogue driven. It is something I think I progressively get better at as the story continues.

Again, thank you for the review.


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Review #8, by LollieGalHeads or Tails: Very Rare Indeed

19th September 2010:
I'm here to review your story (I'm AngelofDoe from the Forums)

I must say this is a nice start to what I'm sure will be a wonderful story. It sets the tone for the main characters and the basis of their relationship.

I can't quite place it, but it didn't seem to flow very well. Sort of like you were trying to jump from situation to situation before letting the first one manifest itself.
This could be because it's the first chapter and the first chapter is quite often used to get the starting points out of the way to let the real action take place.

I hope you found this review helpful :)
Lollie :D

Author's Response: Thank You for the review. This is my first fic so I was really trying to set the tone right. I hope you keep reading! :)

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Review #9, by LollieGalSkipping Through Snow: Skipping Through Snow

11th July 2009:
Angel of Doe here.

This is a nice oneshot. You definately conveyed childhood with Luna. Writing characters we all know and love as young children can be very hard to do. I like her excitment at finding a Humdingers hole. the ending is very sad is it wonderfully written. I could feel Luna's pain at her mother's death.

Lollie :D
AoD

Author's Response: Hi LollieGal!

Thanks for the review, I found it quite difficult to write considering Id never attempted either Luna or a child character before (as opposed to a teenager). And then I just wanted to put in some dialogue at the end there until I remembered that the point of the challenge was not to do that! Im really thrilled that you thought it was good enough to win a prize so thank you for that, it was a great challenge :)

thanks again
-odyssey


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Review #10, by LollieGalWhere the Heart Is: Where the Heart Is

11th July 2009:
Here's your 'prize' for coming 4th in the silently challenge.
This story has a good plot and I like how you have Harry feeling as though Grimauld place can't be his home.
Hermione's character is beleivable and I like how she gets the idea into Harry's head.

Although this is a good story, I feel like it's rather short. Even though it works where it is cut off, it feels like it is sort of incomplete. Maybe you could make a sequel of after they have turned it into a home. Or of after Harry and Ginny's childeren leave home for good and how the house defintely became their home.

Lollie :D
AoD

Author's Response: Yay, prizes! To be honest I didnt even realise there were prizes when I entered your challenge so this is an added bonus :)

Thanks for saying I got Harry and Hermione right, again Id never written any of the Trio before (Ive focused on Marauders mainly, probably because theyre closer to my age) so this is quite gratifying.

Anyway, you could be right in the incomplete thing. You probably realise this was for another challenge (I was given the theme \\\"home\\\") so I was just seeing what I could do with it. Ive had some requests for a companion piece with Harry and Ginny having a good chin-wag but I like the idea of having them there once the kids have left home, Ill have a think about that.

thanks again
-odyssey


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Review #11, by LollieGalAlbus Potter and the Hogwarts Challenge: The Hogwarts Express

27th June 2009:
Your Fangirl, AngelofDoe here. This is a good introduction chapter. It sets the tone for the friendships and tells us how Scorp has some difficulty trusting people straight off. There is quite a lot of talking in the chapter and not much description, i'm not saying this is a bad thing lol, I'm just one of those fussy people who love descriptive stuff lol.

And now here's the obbsesive fangirl version of what I wrote:
Oh My Gosh, I just LOVE this chapter! The characters are just so AWESOME! Especially Scorp!

Just thought i'd give you two reviews in one...one that has useful informtaion, and one that, as a fangirl, I should be saying lol.

Lollie :D
Doe xx

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Review #12, by LollieGalQuestions: Questions

8th June 2009:
AngelofDoe here.
This is a wonderful one-shot and is expertly written. I loved how there was so much emotion, in only a short one-shot. You had me drawn to tears with Teddy's saddness and how Harry couldn't give him an answer to his questions.

It certainly shows us how even the ones who gave us all the answers when we were young, don't have the answers to everything and we eventually have to find our own way.

Teddy's character is very believable, certainly not overdone. You managed to complete the challenge stunningly well.

The winners will be announced next month in the silently topic and the winners will be notified by owl.

Lollie :D
AoD

Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review! I really enjoyed the challenge, and it definitely was a challenge for me, since I tend to fill things up with dialogue. But I had a great time with this, and it's motivated me to do more description in my other fics.

Thanks again for all of your kind words! I'm glad it moved you, and I'm glad you liked it!


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Review #13, by LollieGalFinding: Finding

6th June 2009:
This is AngelofDoe here. This is a wonderful story and I think you captured the quote very well in this one shot. I particuarly enjoyed the pairing as Remus is one of my favourite characters.

Zoi is a very interesting character. I like how you made her so mysterious and even at the end leave the reader thinking, what is it about her? And Why is she how she is? I haven't read many stories that can have such a mysterious main character and have the reader enjoy her.

I also liked how you portrayed Remus. How we are given so very little of his life outside of Zoi. This makes the situtation feel even more real because there aren't any 'things on the side' to get in the way of the plot.

I would also like to say there are a few grammer and spelling mistakes. But the best of us miss those. If you have any time at any point, I would highly recommend going through and fixing up the errors. This will just make the story flow easier and readers won't comment on it. :D

Over all. Very well written and I enjoyed reading it.
Lollie :D
AoD

Author's Response: Aw, Remus is ane of my favorite characters as well! I'm glad Zoi sounds beliavable. Honestly i wasnt counting on it, and I will go over this once more, maybe fix e few things, make it better if i can.
To be honest, I myself dont know why she is the way she is, I couldnt come up with a plausible explanation, so I let her be whatever the reader would chose to make of her :P

Ita also good to know that you liked Remus. There wasnt as much as there should have been about him on this story, but something must have carried trought :)

sorry about the grammar thing, and if they irritated the reading, I'll do my best to make it easier. Thanks for the lovely challenge (it was a real challenge writing this story) and the helpful, wonderful review.


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Review #14, by LollieGalHPFF United Collaboration: Operation Won-Won

13th May 2009:
This is an amazing one-shot. I'm so going to go write on for this now.
Go Ravenclaw!
Lollie :D

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Review #15, by LollieGalThe Heir to Prince Manor: Farewell to Prince Manor

26th March 2009:
This story is absolutely amazing. You capture home life so well. I would love to read a sequel because there are many things that could happen that are left open ended. For instance Hermione and Draco, the schools reaction to Harry and what Slytherin do to Draco.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: Good, I'm glad you liked how I wrote Snape and Harry and Draco as a family. I deliberately left things that way so I could do a sequel and now I think I'm going to. Thanks!

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Review #16, by LollieGalPolychromatic: This Has Been Said So Many Times

7th January 2009:
This chapter is awesome. I love how Remus is telling his stories but it's put as like flash-forwards. I also loved the bit where Remus jumped to conclusions and thought Darren was gay.

You're so lucky to get a snow day. I have never touched snow because it doesn't snow where I live. I'm lucky if we get slush. But then again, I'm on my summer holiday and I still have a month till school lol.

And even though I'm sure This Has Been Said So Many Times, this chapter is amazing. (haha I put the chapter title in a legitamate sentence)
Lollie :D

Author's Response: I really enjoyed writing Remus' little flash-forwards, so I'm glad the readers have been enjoying them as well.

Oh, since usage of chapter title in a legit sentence, by the way. Thanks. :D


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Review #17, by LollieGalPolychromatic: You Think You're On Top Of The World (Anna, Can't You Ever Not Screw Something Up?)

4th January 2009:
Thanks chapter is very funny. I like Darren too, and becuase he is oppisite to Anna in so many ways but then sort a of similar in others, it helps to make Anna seem more abnormal than what is acctually is. And I would love a few chapters in his POV.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: Sometimes, I just want to lock Anna and Darren in a room, all by themselves for a chapter to see what would happen, for exactly those reasons you mentioned. It could definetely be intersting . . .

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Review #18, by LollieGalAnonymous: Truth or Blindfold?

3rd November 2008:
SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!
Thats my way of saying that I would love to read a sequel! This story was really good and well written.
lollie :D

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Review #19, by LollieGalAll That Remains: Quaffles and Questions

20th April 2008:
This story is wow. I love Hermione/Remus its one of my favourite pairings and you certianly do it justice. I can't wait for the next chapter. This story i just totally and utterly amazing. 10/10
Lollie :D

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Review #20, by LollieGalMarried By Mistake: We Are Family

26th March 2008:
This chappie is really good. I want to read the next one, lol. J'adore Married By Mistake.
Lollie :D

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Review #21, by LollieGalEmpty: Blood

26th March 2008:
THE FLYING MONKEY'S ARE ATTACKING!
Now that i have your attention, I would like to say that this chapter holds so many emotions. i almost cried when reading it. I can't wait for the next chapter, I NEED to know what happens next.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: lol... thanks, ill try and update as soon as possible... thanks for sticking with it. =]

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Review #22, by LollieGalIncandescence: Just a Game

23rd March 2008:
This story is going really well. I like your writing style. It's so, descriptive, yet it doesn't go overboard. I can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens next.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: Yay! A reviewer *squee*! ^_^ I'm so happy you like the story so far - I'm always so paranoid after posting a new chapter. I keep thinking it's horrible and no one will like it *cough*issues*cough* I didn't use descriptions much in this chapter, at least not in the beginning, but I'm planning to add more. I'm really really glad you liked it - seriously, you just made my day...night. Stuff will actually be happening in chapter 3 - I mean stuff other than Sirius/Lily interaction. I didn't want this story to be pure plotless romance, so I added some subplots to it, and I'm hoping you'll like it. Thank you so so much for reviewing, it means a lot to me. *is very happy* Much love, CJ

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Review #23, by LollieGalOn the way to Love...Part 1: Annoying!

20th March 2008:
This story has quite a good idea to it. There are a few spelling mistakes here and there, some do inturrupt the reading of the story. But we all make mistakes. I hope the next chapter will be up soon.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: thank you! i'll edit the spelling errors, sorry if they disturb the reading of the story, and the next chapter will be up asap!

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Review #24, by LollieGalLast Christmas: Chapter 2:“But the very next day you gave it away,”

13th February 2008:
This story is coming along nicely. In my personal opinion, if most of the action is planned for the next year, you should skip to the next year. Otherwise you might end up trying to write more for this year, when there is nothing more that needs to be said. Hope this helps.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: Yea, thanx. Ch. 3 will be the last one about thatw year but i needed more stuff in the middle so thats why. I have thru ch 5 written but i cant update until im caught up in my schoolwork. Sorry. Hope to update soon. Love, marauderluverz

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Review #25, by LollieGal:

19th January 2008:
This was...insanely weird. But it was good. Imagine if all that stuff in her dream was real! I would be so freaked out. haha. The whole Dumbledore/Voldemort was so unexpected, where did you come up with that? And holding fairybread? haha. I love fairybread.
Lollie :D

Author's Response: Insanely weird, is definitely me.
And the Dumbledore/Voldemort thing?
Let's just say I have weird dreams.
Thanks!


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