How can you even question the emotion in this chapter, Andy? It's palpable! I'd have never been able to tell that you had problems with Hermione being emotional! Emotion isn't just crying and elation, all the words used to describe a reaction; emotion is embedded in our actions, how we say things... you had no problem with Hermione's emotions, hon. None at all. While I think she's a bit cowardice (a lot), I also empathize with her; keeping a secret like that, faking being sick so that she doesn't have to face anything... it was heartbreaking.
I also really liked the playfulness that you showed between Harry and Hermione. It contrasted very well with the angst of the chapter. Like a sort of rollercoaster of emotion. Yay bi-polar stories =P
Another thing I noticed while reading is your ability to make me feel sorry for Ron. You make him so sweet and caring, it's really hard not to sympathize. I actually wish (don't tell anyone) we would have gotten to see a little more of Ron in this chapter, to see his complete reaction to things; I think it's just because the bit we did see, he seemed so dead, as you described him.
I loved Hermione's angst over Ron, though. That was brilliant. She should feel bad. Really bad. And Harry should feel bad, too. And Ron should take revenge - poor Ron.
And now I'm mad at you. LOL. You broke me. I'm supposed to be al for Ron getting his heart ripped out (literally or figuratively, lol). But I just feel so sorry for him.
So, in short, YES, you wrote Hermione's emotions well in this chapter. It was through her thoughts that I actually felt bad for Ron. Report Review
There is definitely something to say about Gubby's ability to produce random challenges: it spawns stories that are terribly fun to read. I absolutely adore your Andromeda. Most of the time I read stories about her, I don't connect to her on any level. But in this first chapter, I've really gotten an insight into her character and I've fallen in love with her. The descriptive beginning with her hair and the hat, to the meal with Rabastan had me both giggling and feeling a bit awkward for her.
I love how you've introduced her as a private investigator, too. Fanny Jones was a great choice for an alias. I also love that she has no experience other than novels. It makes me think that the rest of this story is going to be very funny, even with an air of mystery.
I always have high expectations of your writing. And, I have to say that while this drifted from your usual writing style (only by a small margin, mind you, and not in a bad way at all), I was still really impressed by your ability to weave words so perfectly. I got the description you were showing and the feeling, without it feeling contrived and boring. I fell right into the story. I love that feeling XD
You've created such a good premise and a good character, I really can't wait to see where you're going to go with this story. I guess I can go look in Gubby's thread =P But I want to be surprised.Author's Response: Jessi, your reviews make me so happy! I have quite a bit of plotting to do for this to make any bit of sense, but never fear, it will be goofy and awkward no matter how serious it gets. Ahh, you just inspired me to work on the next chapter - thanks lovely! Report Review
This story is so entertaining. It's not just a simple read through and be done kind of thing - which is refreshing. It gives a lot of information, while still keeping it light. You don't make the mistake of trying to feed the readers knowledge of Egypt, which is probably best for your story. Reading a fic with history such as Egypt's can be daunting because most authors will water down the plot with an excess of details. You, however, provide just enough for me to understand, but not enough to give away your story completely.
You really should write an OF, Susan. You're such a talented writer and you give such a voice to all of your characters. It's impressive.
I'm going to follow this story, because I'm really curious how Helen, Cadogan & Co., progress. I love the characterizations, the progression of the plot and, well, everything. Please, please, please update this story. Often.
And thanks for pointing me over here. I love it!Author's Response: Oh gosh, Jessi, now you\\\'re being way too nice! :D I don\\\'t know what so say! It\\\'s really awesome that you like this story so much. I\\\'m glad that I asked you to take a look at it (and not just for the compliments - it was because I respect your opinion so much).
The slight downplay of historical information is in part to help readers get through the story without being bogged down in things. But it\\\'s also for my own benefit, as I want to do a bit of research, but not too much. I like to have a bit of imaginative freedom. ;)
This story was originally OF, but I thought it\\\'d be interesting to add some fantasy aspects. It still can be adapted to OF, and I might do that someday. :D If only fanfiction wasn\\\'t so addicting to write!
Thank you again for reading and reviewing, Jessi! I really appreciate that you took the time to do this! :D Report Review
Helen is my new favorite OC, I think. Her thoughts are so much fun to follow; she's funny, witty and dry. I love it. I think that something people typically forget when developing a new character is that the readers can learn a lot from how they interact with other characters in the story - even minor characters. Seeing the way that Helen interracted with Hassim (I'm assuming he's minor at this point =P) was what truly made me fall in love with her a little more. She was just so real then.
I like the way the story is progressing, too. It's not at all slow, and yet you are giving us such a foundation. I'm not sure how you pull it off - normally this sort of build up is rather tedius to read through... but this... Learning about the different characters is really fun, especially since you give them all their own voices, even though the narration is Helen's.
Oh, and best line in a fanfiction ever belongs to you. "So I took the lady-like way out. I pretended to faint." I giggled so much when I read that!Author's Response: Oh yay! It\\\'s wonderful that you like Helen so much, Jessi! I\\\'m really getting into her character more with this re-write and she\\\'s fun to write with her dryness. I do worry that she might be going overboard, but I\\\'m glad that you like her - it means a lot. ^_^
Yes, Hassim is pretty minor - he might appear one or two more times at most. But it is interesting to see how Helen interacts with various people, high and low on the social scale. She has pretencions of upper-class, yet at the same time despises their snobbishness. It makes her more fascinating, at least for me, to watch how she responds to people - it\\\'s very unpredictable.
The best line! *cheers* I do try to be funny with them. :P Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this, Jessi! It means a lot not only to hear from you, but to hear such great compliments. ^_^ Report Review
I'm not sure who I'm more intrigued by, Cygnus or Canis. Cygnus is the doting father, obviously. And it seems that he has a lot of pent up frustration at his family... But the way that you portrayed Canis in the background, intrigued by Helen - and quiet! I will love seeing how he plays out (assuming, of course, she ever comes back fom Egypt).
I think that you write this era very well; the time frame really compliments your writing technique. Or, maybe it's just because you're such an awesome author... =P
Usually, I don't read first person stories. Especially not first person OC stories. I find that they lack the ability to help me connect to the main character. But Helen is very well fleshed out as a character, and you write her so well in this point of view, that I don't have any trouble at all connecting to her. Actually, I like her quite a bit!Author's Response: Canis is definitely a character I want to explore more, if only because he causes Helen so much distress. There\\\'s something between them in the past that even I\\\'m not sure about yet. XD The quiet Malfoys are the scarier ones. Even though Helen won\\\'t be going back to England in this story (it\\\'s not a spoiler, really :P), Canis, or at least the threat of him, will come back to haunt her, and it\\\'s something she has to deal with.
It\\\'s more the time frame than any aspirations of awesomeness. :P I\\\'ve read way too many books that take place in the early 20s, so it just feels comfortable to write in it as well.
First person isn\\\'t normally my thing either, though it works in certain cases, like with Helen, who is far too amusing to miss out on. ;) It\\\'s great that you like her so quickly - it took me longer to warm up to her, haha.
Thank you for the wonderful review, Jessi! I really appreciate hearing from you, and it\\\'s fantastic that you\\\'re enjoying the story so far. :D Report Review
Susan, my God. In 900 words, you've not only completely captured my attention, but you've made me feel so compassionate for a character I don't know at all. I'm glad that I know a bit about Egyptian mythos and history, otherwise I would have been a little bit confused. =P I loved the beginning and I'm sure that when I'm done reading, I'm going to be mad at you for not finishing it yet. :PAuthor's Response: Wow, thanks, Jessi! :O This is definitely the basis of a case to keep the prologue - something I\\\'ve been hemming and hawing over for a bit. The historical stuff is harder to write because there\\\'s a lot to it. I can see how it would get confusing for those who were unfamiliar with it.
It\\\'s great that you\\\'re liking the story so far. :D I hope you enjoy the rest! And thank you again for coming to read it! Report Review
Evelyn, my goodness! I am in love with this story!
I have to admit that the amount of times that I actually come back and read by request of a reviewer is minimal. It's nothing personal, of course, just that I don't have much time to breathe. That having been said, I decided to come check out No Air because I'm looking for a good WIP to help keep me just distracted enough. (ADD is a wonderful thing sometimes =P). I also typically don't read stories on HPFF that have OCs. You probably understand my hesitation: a lot of authors tend to reuse and recycle other characters or create Mary Sues. So, imagine my shock when I started reading your story... and couldn't stop!
I'm awful for not leaving a review a chapter, but I hope you understand that I decided to save all of my thoughts for the very end. I even made some rather illegible notes =P They're supposed to mean something, I think... but after the last two chapters, I completely forgot why I wrote down what I did at the beginning. Go figure.
Valora is a great character and her interaction with the others is wonderful. You avoided most of the OC cliches that haunt most authors... and even the ones that were there (ie: Valora being a 'Marauder') are simply unavoidable based on characteristics of everyone else. Valora is a strong, poignant vessel for your plot. A reader can connect to her, which is probably the most important aspect of a story. If you have a character with which no one can relate, you have a story with detached feeling. Not a problem for you, my dear. Your Valora is very human indeed.
Snape. Chapter 13 and Snape. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? How perfectly Snape was he, most especially at the beginning of that chapter! I have to admit that I'm partial to that entire chapter (apart from the well written love scene!) because of the quote you used in the chapter note. That is one of my all-time favorite songs. :) I actually listened to it through that chapter yesterday and it did make it all the more emotional. Not in a sad way, just in a ... *sigh* kind of way, you know what I mean? I tend to be a bit confusing; for an author, I have a hard time stringing words together in a comprehensive way. =P
The last four chapters... I couldn't breathe, to put it mildly. I was reading and trying to determine how I felt about the story as a whole as I was being sucked into Valora's conundrums and emotions. I fell in love with her character, more than even Sirius - who is my favorite (which I think you know =P)
So, to put it shortly (haha, after that long ramble), I absolutely adore this story and will be reading the rest of the sequel over the coming weeks. Thanks for pointing me in this direction - and for an intoxicating story!
JessiAuthor's Response: I think you get an award for my longest review ever but I enjoyed every minute of it! I don't mind one bit that you didn't leave a review for every chapter because just the knowledge that you take the time to read it is enough for me. I'm so happy Valora works for you as a character. Does it sound silly to say I'm shocked? Honestly, I got to know her as I wrote her, which is weird. Normally I already have in my head what I expect my character's personality to be but she surprises me so often.
I ADORE the band Live and had just become a fan around the time I started this series. Most of the titles are lyrics and I rely heavily on music to influence my writing. The playlist I use while writing has 256 songs. =) Ironic how the last four chapters of 'No Air' made you breathless...haha...sorry, bad joke.
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy A Broken Promise and the rest of the series. Keep up your amazing R&R!
Evelyn Grey Report Review
GAH, don't end it there!!! LOL. You are still the best writer of mature but not detailed sexual scenes I've ever read, seriously. I mean... how do you get them to do that in a bathroom in front of a mirror and not make it ... too much? I love this story so much, I really do. It's like a damn emotional rollercoaster, lol, and I never want to get off! You're my hero. Just so you know. :)Author's Response: lol, aw thank you, jessi! I agonized over that scene b/c I really wanted it there but wanted to be able to post it on here.Talk about tricky. After sitting with the staff tutorial open beside me for a week I finally got it to a place that I felt like worked, lol. I'm so glad that you're still reading and enjoying. The fact that you like it makes me smile. :) Report Review
I love you. Seriously.Author's Response: I love you more. seriously. ;) Report Review
Eep, Maja! I love it! I do! Aww, I adore your Frank! And, as Always, your Sirius is delectable. Not to mention it's all one big, amazing ball of hawtness. Thank you for taking part in that challenge. I love you. =D *SQUISHES*Author's Response: Ok, Jessi, I have written this reply FIVE TIMES now! Let us hope and pray that this time it works! Right, so...thank you loads and loads for the wonderful challenge - you pulled me out of my comfort zone with all the wonderful pairings and I am never looking back! I do love my Sirius, and I quite like what I did with Frank - I couldn't possibly imagine Sirius being all overwhelmed and in awe of someone who was very awkward like Neville. He is a little too stylish. :) Anyway. So so glad you enjoyed it, and thank you loads for reviewing. I love you Jessi, I do, I do! *tackleglomps* ILY! :D Report Review
Right! Who's my favorite Harry/Ginny/action/adventure/romance/angst/dark fanfiction writer in the whole wide internetworld?!?!?! Oh, I think it's you! Seriously!!! You have totally rocked the socks of the entire 7th book (bless JK's brilliant mind, of course). I mean, it's amazing how you can start a post-dh fic (pre-dh) and then, STILL make me believe that THIS is what actually happened (no epilogue =P). You're so brilliant as a writer, it's sickening (in a totally awesome way, of course!) This last chapter (well, I've had to catch up on the last three or four, I think) is SO powerful - SO perfectly canonly harry potter with a twist...that I think it should go in an unbreakable glass case forever and ever.
-fangirls like woah-
Your writing has changed extensively too, did you know? You've got action down in a way that is even more thrilling than before. =D I'll stop now and let you write the next chapter... (you will, right? =P)
~JessiAuthor's Response: hehe, thank you jessi! :) Report Review
You are PURE EVIL. And I love it. This... oh, god, I'm crying. Susan, you are evil. Evil, evil, evil. Wonderful, but holy cow! Are you trying to get me to produce mass floods here or what? Haha, I seriously... I love Sirius/Lily so much and to see it put like this was so heartbreakingly perfect and sad and wonderful. I love the part with Remus at the end - I really think that topped of the story nicely. And your flow throughout - the flashback and everything. It's just... perfect. Ah, you evil perfect... genius!! =PAuthor's Response: I made you cry! o_O That was not my intention, but wow, nor was it expected at all. It was one of those stories that come out of nowhere, get written, then they're gone. But wow, it's fantastic that you liked it so much and that it brought on such an emotional response. Sirily is a nice ship, but not my favourite, yet it's one of those that are really easy to write, haha. The part with Remus wasn't planned, but it's good to hear that you thought it fit into the rest - it didn't seem right to just leave Sirius to his solitary thoughts, having someone else come in and connect the story to the canon was needed to strengthen the ending. And I'm glad it worked! =D Thank you so much for reviewing this, Jessi. It means a lot to me that you enjoyed this story. Report Review
How lucky was I when I woke up this morning and saw this? Woot! Wonderful addition to an amazing story, dear! And it was, without a doubt, hot. Seriously, I don't know very many people who could write slash this good - it's so well thought out, it seems. And the flow, the characterizations... well, we both know I can go on about that, right? Listen, what I really want to do is congratulate you on excellent writing - technical and otherwise... this is just brilliant. You should be so, so proud of it! *hugs*Author's Response: It better seem well thought out, I slave over this story. =P I kid, but seriously, I hope it doesn't seem so well thought out that it's too structured and not natural. I plan a lot, but hopefully not too much. =)Awww, thank you! I'm quite proud of it so far. It's a challenge, but I like writing it, and to know you're enjoying it makes it even better. Thanks so much. Report Review
Oh my. Okay. I know I haven't left a review for that chapter and I have a perfectly good explanation. I just started reading this story today - after searching through my faves to see who might have put up new stories that I haven't checked out yet. And holy guacamole, batman - look at this gem I've found!! Chelsey, this is an amazing, unique, hot and wonderful fic! I've been so encompassed by the first five chapters you've posted, that I haven't been able to stop reading!
I've wanted to read a Harry/Weasley brother (that wasn't Ron) for such a long time - and it's really hard to find one with plot, if you know what I mean. And this one has such a truth to emotion about it. It's really very good. Your writing has long been inspiration to me - what with Downpour being the first Ron/Hermione that I ever read and then my mini-tangent about how wonderful you wrote Cedric/Harry.
I'm so glad that you've taken on this ship and basically made it your own. All of the little things, too, make it all that much better. Harry's characterisation is perfectly canon - his unease about so much pressure on his shoulders, his loyalty to the Weasley, Ginny in particular. And then Charlie, where you've pulled out all the big guns and really done quite an excellent job in who he is and what his purpose is in the fic. I really, really admire the way you write Charlie - a great mixture between all of the Weasleys, really.
I'm really looking forward to seeing where you take this - especially where Harry and Ginny are concerned. I can sense a lot of drama coming between the points of the triangle and I cannot, cannot wait to see what you do with all of this.
The way that you've described everything - particularly and most masterfully - the emotions of it all, has me craving more. I really wish I would have caught this closer to the end, so that I don't have to wait for updates. =P I'm so impatient. But I will wait and keep waiting and keep reading and reviewing - I adore this so much, it's beyond words really.
So far, I think this chapter is my favorite, though... because it's sort of a realization for the pair of them - what they could possibly, might sorta, feel for each other... in a strictly... something way. Haha, I love it. I do. And to know that Harry will be visiting Charlie again only makes me Whoop! on the inside... because I adore your mature scenes and your romance scenes - always have. And, by the looks of things - always will!
I'll stop being so fangirly and end this review... but I just had to say how much I love this fic and can't wait for the next chapter! *huggles*
~JessiAuthor's Response: Awww, Jessi. My dear, you are just wonderful. *huggles back* I'm SO glad you're reading this story! I really appreciate everything you've said here, and I'm touched that I could be an inspiration to you. That's one of the best compliments ever.I'm glad you like how Charlie came out. To be honest, I was worried when I started writing this and putting it out that he was a little shaky, that I didn't have a good enough grasp on him, but his character is starting to smooth out. You've given me some reassurance. =)You adore my mature/romance scenes? That surprises me a bit, but makes me happy. I think romance is actually one of my greatest challenges because I don't... ahem, I don't write things in as much DETAIL as some other people. ;) So I have to make up for the lack of description with something else. *shrugs*Anyway, thanks so much for this awesome review, my dear. I hope you enjoy what's to come! =) Report Review
Lyn. *dies* That was absolutely amazing and definitely going into my favorites. It's Awesome (which is capitalized on purpose). It was totally believable and so cute and perfectly... ohhh!!! I just LOVE it!! I'm so into the odd pairings and this has to be the oddest that I've ever read! I mean.. Igor and Narcissa doesn't exactly say romance - but you SO did it. I love it. You're so awesome. *loves*Author's Response: Jessi!!! *dies* Omg, I cannot believe anyone actually liked it, lol. You really are weird. :P Yes, well, at first it was supposed to be funny, but you know me, the hopeless romantic I am. :P Haha, yeah, I can make a couple out of anyone. *nuts* Thanks for reading and reviewing, Jessi, you're the best!! *hugs* Report Review
Chelsea! This was beautiful!! You've portrayed Sirius perfectly - I mean... dauntingly (lol) perfectly. And Bella as well! Just as crazy and maniacal as I'd picture her to. Especially with regards to family that didn't choose to follow Voldemort's path. The end was amazing as well - with Sirius' final words... They may not mean much to Bella at all, but it really says something about Sirius and his character and his loyalty to the Order side of things. I just love the relationship you've played with and how accurately you've portrayed it. I'm in awe of your skills, dear. Loved it!!Author's Response: Thanks so much Jessi! LOVE YOU! Report Review
*giggles madly* I loved the interaction between Draco and Neville, I really did. The verbal tennis match and Draco's thoughts. I love the narrative of this - with the little interruptions as well. And I'm very proud of the way you've written Draco - you haven't killed him off with some insane muscley, overly sweet or overly cruel, evil, twisted... thing. Haha, you've kept him strictly to canon - which is where Draco fits in best. You don't write him a lot, do you? Or at all? Because I was looking through your author's page, and I don't think I saw any. In that case - amazing job well done on this chapter. =D And, even if you've written Draco a million times - amazing job well done =P *huggles*Author's Response: Draco turned out well? Wow, I thought I may have been a bit too free with making him so silly, but it does sort of fit because I see him in canon was a bit of a coward and a big-shot all rolled up in one. Him against Neville was a hilarious scene to write - I kept stopping to giggle, then to add some more wittiness. =D This is actually my first time writing Draco ever, so perhaps I'm not tainted by the fanon!Draco bug? *looks innocent* Thank you so much, Jessi! I can't thank you enough for these reviews. *huggles* Report Review
Eeep! I do love a good Violet mystery!! I love the characterizations you've put in to the next generation kids, a lot. Most people pawn them off to be spitting images of only one parent - or a dreadful combination of both. I really like the balance you've done with Albus and Teddy, especially.
So far, so good - I'm too excited to read the next chapter. Even staying late at work just to read it before I get home =P
Oh - and I love how you've characterized Harry to be somewhat of a mini Mad-Eye. It's likely to happen, really, after all of the situations he had been in when he was younger. =D *runs off to the next chapter*Author's Response: Jessi!!!! =O It's so awesome that you've read and reviewed this! I think I'm still in shock, haha. I wasn't sure how the next-gen characters would turn out, but they came out naturally, which is strange because I have a lot of trouble writing their parents. Albus is an up and coming favourite of mine, probably because of his middle name. :P So I end up making him a bit Snape-ish, but in an entirely good way. Stay at work late for this story?! Wow, now that's dedication! :P Thanks so much for this, Jessi. It means so much. ^_^Harry as Mad-Eye, I like that, you know. Suits him well. ;) Report Review
*gasp* Andy. Andy. Andy! Oh, Andy!!! This is absolutely brilliant. Oh, I love it. I ADORE it. You are so wonderful, andy banandy. I loff you. A Harmony written in the spirit of a true Ron lover. It's PERFECT. You've actually written Ron perfectly. And, oh, oh!! Harry - from Harry's pov... ohh.. it was just wonderful.. I'm all fluttery because I love this so much!! *tries to pull it together to properly review*
Okay... I love the switch between points of view. I think it works perfectly with Harry narrating and then showing the situation they were in and where they are now. The reasoning you've given everything - the relationship and...
Ah, sod it.
Andy, this story is amazingly perfect and you, my loffley, are amazing beyond words. I adore this and I am going to glomp tackle you the next time I see you in the cbox. *HUGGLEGLOMPSQUISHLOVES*Author's Response: Since you were such a huge inspiration for me branching out and writing this (Miss I WILL write every possible ship), I was waiting to see what you'd think, but I never expected this! Perfect? Ha - far from, but my head is growing nonetheless! You make a big deal of writing Harry's point of view, but actually I never write anyone else. He's the easiest for me and with such an impossible ship, I was grabbing onto anything I could to keep stability. Fluttery? Wow. I love you Jessi!
You have really, really put the hugest smile on my face with this review - even whilst rereading it now! I especially enjoyed my c-box glomple! Thank you so, so much! :D x x x x Report Review
*GIGGLEFIT* Ohhh, Gubby, I do LOVE your James! He's perfect - absolutely perfect. And you're flow to this masterpiece is amazing! I thought "oh crap, another language. I'm going to get confused." But I so didn't!! And I liked the way that you laced the opera thing in. It wasn't overly dramatic and it wasn't so subtle that I couldn't pick up on it (which is good, because I'm a tad slow sometimes.)
The stalking this poor girl and how James's character is... scares me. LOL And that the other Marauders are in on it scares me too. Haha, and the fact that it's a Peter triangle!!! I cannot WAIT to see where you go with this.
Your bunnies always fascinate me, doll. And I really think you should continue this! If you don't... I'll... ban you from the cbox. Ha! You have to finish it now. =D
*hugs* SERIOUSLY a great start, Gubbifer. Amazing. x x x Report Review
This is absolutely gorgeous. I loved it! The memories and the time line and the thoughts... it was perfect! Rosmerta is such a little known character and you've done wonders with her. Very nice, indeed. I'm a huge fan of your writing - and this is no exception. I'm actually tempted to ask you to write a Rosmerta/Sirius romance =P Great job on this, edenvirg - really, really really great job!Author's Response: OMG. Did you really just leave me a review? *cover mouth in a silent gasp and holds self down to keep from jumping* Yay! You really did! :) I remember when you left me one for "Never All Together" as well; I kept reading it over and over. :)
Thank you, Jessi! I'm glad you liked it. You inspire me to write more. :) As for a Sirius/Rosmerta romance... Hmm, that's an interesting one to think about! It's an idea, definitely. But thanks again for leaving this review, Jessi. You've just made my day (actually, it's been 2 days already)! :D Report Review
*absolutely speechless* *listens to random ticks and tocks* *cannot form sentences* O.O That was an AMAZING piece of fiction.
I never had it in me to want to read Draco/Astoria. I'm much more a shipper of characters that we don't have to actually characterize - or, characters we know even a little more about than the average OC. But at the very beginning you gave Astoria this sense of person, a reality, a very personable quality. She became a regular HP character, rather than what I've always seen her as (always meaning since DH) - an OC. You gave her depth and vision and purpose. It was amazing what you did with her.
And bringing Draco into it and the way that you defined their relationship so quickly... It's impressive. A simple day, a normal day, nothing sought after and nothing gained by that day except for a comfortable understanding between two people... that was exceptionally impressive - because, as the reader, I could feel the relationship build in the gap between them standing on the corner and them doing their business. It wasn't written, but it was as if it was always there. Does that make sense?
It was painful and insightful and pleasurable and profoud... You went through human trials - loops - that aren't far from reality. You made them real. Rather than amplifying the feelings, you created a real base for these characters and their situation. Draco and his mother was a good one - and the closure at the end as well - that was very, very well done. And Astoria and the miscarriage/losing the baby... you stayed very humanistic during that, which is an incredible compliment. You didn't take it too far like some do.
This just impresses the hell out of me. LOL. I could seriously go on about it for DAYS. I loved it. And it deserves a LOT of recognition. I'm just... astounded. Very well done, dear. Very, very well done.Author's Response: I can't find any words to give this review justice! Honestly, I'm... gobsmacked! (*loves the word*) It really makes me burst with utter happiness when you say that she became just another HP character. While I love minor characters, 'cause they give you a free range to play with their personas, I never thought that I'd managed with Astoria in the same way... She's so not like a character I work with in general - same goes with Draco. And yes, it does make sense. It's wonderful that you could see their relationship build there, or as if it had always been there. It's... Gaah, I don't know! It's just lovely to hear. Oh Merlin, I'm still lost for words. But thank you a thousand times over again. This had made my entire month. *hugs* Report Review
Hahaha, aw *giggles* Poor Irene! How embarrassing! I really do love her.. She's one of my favorite OCs ever. The way that she acts and reacts is so real - it's like she's a real person..which is hard enough to pull off, let alone in HP land. I'm so excited that you updated!! I was like YAY!! I really can't wait to see how things develop for Irene and Charlie... but I'm really glad you put in that warning there with Allison. Very nicely done. And sucha fluffy way to end the chapter, with her remembering what her dad said. =D Loved it!!Author's Response: Jessi! *huggles* I thought it was about time Lisa really spoke up about the love triangle, so Iâ€™m glad you like that. ^_^ You really made my day with this review. Thank you so much! Report Review
Hahaha! *contains giggles* Oh, god, this was hilarious. I especially loved the Dumbledore bit and prefer to think that he doesn't have anything under his robes that need covering up. =P
From your usual angstiness, this was quite a little shock for me, but I absolutely adored it. I'm not usually one for OCs, but I had to read it, especially when I saw the title. I think that the highest praise I can give you for this is that even though you tend to stick (or so I've noticed) to drama and angst, your writing doesn't falter when writing fluff or humor. This was a brilliant piece of writing and you should be really proud!Author's Response: *Grins* I have to admit, I do enjoy the occasional venture into random silliness and I've found that discusing teachers undergarments can be quite amusing to write :P
I'm so glad you liked this; as different from my usual style as it is :D Report Review
You, my dear, have such a real grasp on the characters that you write that it's frightening. Frightening in such a good way, though. I mean, your dialogue between Draco and Blaise wasn't just believable, it was feelable (oh yeah, I get to make up words now!). You don't shy away from showing the emotions in their speech, which is something most authors have problems with - it becomes a necessity rather than an interaction... it usually seems forced. But you've got such an amazing take on the language used - body and speech - that you're able to weave a scene so well that it's palpable.
Not to mention that, regardless if Blaise and Draco got together, the scenes with them together, even just talking, were hot. *grins*
What still amazes me is your ability to write the bittersweet, angsty, dramatic, no-fluffy-bunnies or prancing unicorn romances. They're more real for a reader, especially one that isn't perfect. =P
I'm running out of words here to tell you how much I love this story. *laughs* I'll stop, again, before I go fangirly, but I really want you to know that I adore your stories and your work as an author. Can't wait to choose what I'm reading next!! Til then!!Author's Response: *Grins more* I seriously loff each and everyone of your reviews.
Putting dialogue into the story is actually hard for me, mainly because I like to write through sheer description, whether its physical or emotional, and because of that, I don't like to break it up with dialogue. Thus, I like to throw in one piece of speech, and then write about five paragraphs of description to accompany it. Also, I am very against the word 'said' so I end up varying how I describe my character's moments of speech.
*Grins still more* I have a thing against fluffy bunnies and prancing unicorns. If it's not intended to be a humor/satire fic, I won't write them :P Well, I used too, but not anymore.
And yes, Draco and Blaise are very hot. *Drools slightly*
I think I just wrote a response longer then the review itself :P
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