Reading Reviews From Member: ciararose
  
79 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ciararoseMorocco: CHAPTER FIFTEEN

22nd April 2011:
I seriously considered the fact that you might actually kill of Scorpius and I was really, really, really upset by it. That is how attached I am to your characters, and also to Alex Pettyfer, but that is beside the point. You wrote this so suspensefully that I think I was actually reading sentences out of order in a half panic because I was afraid of what was going to happen. You're amazing, Kate. Crawl in a hole and never write again, because I get way too emotionally invested in your stories and it freaks me out. No that's a lie. Come out of the hole.

I am mildly hysterical, as you can probably tell.

Author's Response: oh no, i could never! i didn't even entertain the idea! (i love him too much and i think my readers love him too much...)

hahahhaa i could never hurt alex, lol.

thank you so much for another wonderful review darling! i feel so bad because i am behind on reviewing Captivity (i have been reading and i love it!!) but i plan on fixing that soon!

so happy you liked it!!!
Kate xx


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Review #2, by ciararoseFour Flip Sides: Helga

22nd April 2011:
Ooooh that was definitely my favorite chapter! What an awesome way to end a story! This was by far the most intense and interesting of all of these chapters, and I loved it. Badass Helga Hufflepuff, I am completely okay with that. I am not sure how I can really go off on the writing technique of this chapter because I am too into what actually happened in it, so let me just say I totally respect you for writing a cool Hufflepuff. Seriously, this was awesome.

Author's Response: What's the opposite of a Hufflepuff? Intense, dramatic, tough, etc. This was the hardest to write, simply because it's easy to hide some things beneath the surface but gentle people rarely suppress a tough, aggressive nature. I instead gave Helga a bit of a defining moment, almost a forked path in her life, and left it at that. I was most definitely excited to end things with a bit of a bang.

Too into what happened in it? :P More than fine me. Thanks for dropping by ciara, five hundred and twenty years or not.


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Review #3, by ciararoseFour Flip Sides: Godric

22nd April 2011:
Aw, scared Godric! I think I liked this one the most so far, because you NEVER get to read about Godric being afraid of something. And yet, honestly, bravery has nothing to do with the absence of fear and everything to do with overcoming fear, so this still fit his character. I really liked the paragraph about not being able to fight the idea of a monster, because it explained perfectly Godric's feelings and really integrated the whole idea of his running away into the story, rather than just having him do something odd and leaving it at that. YOu gave a very rational explanation for the behavior. Wonderful job!

Author's Response: Hmm, I responded to this earlier but it looks like it didn't go through. Odd. Anyway, I entirely agree with what you said about fear, that it's something to be overcome, instead of just nonexistent for brave people. People can have weak spots, like spiders or snakes, but I wanted Godric to have an actual, logical fear. Dark seemed like a pretty good bet, because it's what you CAN'T see that scares you, and that's a lot bigger than some spiders.

Once again, thanks for the review!


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Review #4, by ciararoseFour Flip Sides: Rowena

22nd April 2011:
Wow, this was a very interesting snapshot. You have such a variety of moments in this story but each of them seems fitting to the character involved. I liked that you gave Rowena a very defined character even in a short work, the way she is portrayed as almost a bit of a control freak, but not in a terrifying way. I think it's very realistic. I like to think of the Founders just chilling on the ground as friends, it's such a fun idea, but at the same time there is something kind of ominous about this chapter, or the way it ends, that almost suggests that trouble to come. Very nice job.

Author's Response: My favorite part of this was definitely the image of the Founders hanging out on a summer night. I have an inkling that weather isn't necessarily pleasant up in Scotland that time of year, but I was cold when I wrote it so that was good enough.

As Salazar tends to be portrayed as the "bad" character, and this is a collection of opposites, it's fair to expect some darkness in the other three chapters. Had to have it coming to Rowena, anyway. Thanks for another review!


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Review #5, by ciararoseFour Flip Sides: Salazar

22nd April 2011:
So, five hundred and twenty years later, I have arrived to review, as promised, your story XD

I must say I really enjoyed this portrayal of Salazar. He is very often shown as this evil to the core person, and I like that you chose to give him another dimension. After all, even the most prejudiced and not so nice people have good sides to them, as reluctant as it can be to admit it. The very first memory girl mention confused me slightly, but I figured it out pretty quickly so it's nothing that needs to be worried about. I also enjoyed the little mentions of working out problems with the school, etc., very realistic, considering all the work that must have gone into creating Hogwarts. I think you wrote clearly and with a simplicity that didn't distract at all from the point of the story, which was nice to read. Great job on this chapter!

Author's Response: Hey, if it took you five hundred and twenty years to review, it took me a hundred eighty-eight to reply. ;) I know how challenge prizes go, no worries.

This story is all about second dimensions, things not seen. I figured it would be fair to give some people their good traits and others some of the bad things they could have hidden. With a story this short, hopefully your memory girl confusion was equally brief. I can take a second look at that. Anyway, glad you enjoyed, many thanks!


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Review #6, by ciararoseMighty: Mighty

24th March 2011:
Wow, lot's of action in this one! You had great pacing here, the theme of running was well suited to the fast paced action in the story. I liked that you wrote about Dorcas, a character who is rarely examined, and gave her some real personality. She kind of reminds me of Ginny, unable to keep out of the fight. But she also seems fiercer, in a way.

The part with Poppy just confused me a little because it seemed as though Dorcas walked out of a forest and came across Poppy and Madame Bones in the middle of a field somewhere. But that could easily be my misinterpretation. Other than that, I liked that you wrote in several perspectives, it lent another element of quickness to the story.

All in all, a great snapshot of a character whom many just ignore, and a believable account of the way she died. Good job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Dorcas was interesting to write. Her name kind of made me flinch when I first heard it... who names their kid Dorcas? "Okay, so we're deciding between Mary, Jane, Elizabeth, Dorcas--" "DORCAS FOR SURE."

Um. Sorry. I'll get to the response now.

I could see how the part with Poppy would confuse you, that's pretty valid. I meant for them to be in an office. Oh, I should've added a part where Dorcas breaks and enters, THAT WOULD BE SO FUN OH MY GOSH.

You are so cool. No seriously. There should be something named after you. Like... a flower! Git your roses here, awll kinds, we 'ave white roses an' yeller roses and dem ciara roses too!

Oh wow, I really need some sleep.

Thank you so much for the review!! :)


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Review #7, by ciararoseGlass: Glass

22nd March 2011:
So I don't read a whole lot of femmeslash. Basically, I only trust my favorite authors to do it write. But a Pansy/Daphne I just couldn't resist. It sounded so snarky and darky.

The description, the style, the narrative here is also so incredible gorgeous. Throughout the story, you just have this sense of dark femininity, and it's incredibly seductive. The content of the story certainly could have been taken in an angst sort of direction, but instead you turned it into this beautiful vision of horror and wrath. I don't read too much Daphne, but I think you really captured her in this considering how short it is.

I think the actual content of the story fits wonderfully with the characters. And you described Daphne's jealousy, her hatred and desire, so perfectly. Actually, you did everything wonderfully here, and I am a useless reviewer anyway, so I'll just repost some of my favorite lines:
"They are friends more than they are lovers but she aches for the chase."

"Pinched cheeks are glowing with reproach as the mistress watches her lover dab perfume onto delicate collarbones."

Gorgeous.

I'm going to go stalk everything you've ever posted now.
Toodles!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, Ciara!

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Review #8, by ciararoseThe Insanity of Alice Longbottom: Insanity

22nd March 2011:
This was so heartwrenching. I can't even describe how sad it was. You do a really amazing thing here, because you capture sorrow that is more than heartbreak, it is more than angst, it is this very deep confusion and ache. It really came across in the piece even with the very stylized voice of the narrator, and I greatly admire you for it.

I loved the way you wrote the present. It was beautiful, but hauntingly so, the way you slipped bits of coherency in, and then they were lost again. It's so strange that I never gave much thought to what actually happened that night to Frank and Alice, I supposed I was always focused on the James and Lily version, but it was absolutely terrifying in this fic, and so well done. I felt like those parts were just so realistic, they were chilling.

The theme of the "forever day" was probably my favorite part, because truly, it just shows how completely separate she is from real life, and it is so disturbing and so sorrowful. She really does live in this endless unchanging fantasy. It is almost a bright idea, endless day, and it has that sort of fantasy-happy connotation, but then it is put in this very haunting context. Very well done.

The end is so sweet, but so sad. I think you couldn't have ended it more perfectly. It turns out I suck at finding anything to criticize in stories, who knew, but I really couldn't if I tried here. You're a truly gifted writer!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! ... I don't really know how to respond besides THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

I never really gave much thought to Alice either until I wrote a one-shot about Neville, and then I became really interested in what was going on inside her mind. It was actually pretty fun because I got to write in a bunch of sentence fragments and be like HAHAHA TAKE THAT GRAMMAR.

Wow, I really appreciate your complements. I had thought this was a lot more morbid than chilling, especially because of how she isn't scared at all really. It's such a huge deal for me that you said that :) *happy dance*

Thanks a MILLION for the review!! :)


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Review #9, by ciararoseCauldron Cakes: Cauldron Cakes

21st March 2011:
That was so sweet hon!

This was one of those stories that is just a sweet, hopeful few minutes. And I really enjoyed it. I thought that your choice of moments to represent was so fresh, especially when you didn't stop with their marriage but continued. I loved that not all of it was happy- you included moments of sorrow and loss, like those in any life, but in the end, the story was as happy and fulfilled as any life could be. I think this was an excellent representation of a lifetime condensed into short paragraphs. I have never really read any Hannah/Neville before, this actually might be my very first one, but I think you captured them both very well. Hannah we don't know a lot about, but I think you used Neville and his characterization well in order to establish a more rounded persona for her.

This whole thing just makes me want to listen to happy music. It definitely wasn't just fluff, it had real substance, but it just exemplified the theme of hope so well. I think you did a marvelous job. And, also, I love Ed Westwick, just thought I'd throw that in there.

Wonderful work!

Author's Response: Thank you!!!

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, I was a little unsure about this one. Firstly, I haven't lived out most of the experiences that I tried to write about. And a lot of people don't like to read stories where people get old, you know? I'm really happy that you liked it :)

I read "more rounded persona" and laughed. She was definitely a "rounded" person :P

Thank you so so so so much!!!

P.S. OH MY GOSH ED WESTWICK.


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Review #10, by ciararoseAbandoned: Abandoned

17th March 2011:
Wow, really intense work! I liked this story a lot. It really worked the limitations of the challenge well. You followed the prompt of not giving any background story, but you still managed to include a story, not just a description of a scene. That's very impressive. I also liked that you followed what happened after she left at the house, rather than following her, because generally these types of stories would be following her and where she went and why.

It was very well written, I liked the description a lot, especially the connection between the solitude of the room and the loneliness of the woman. YOur writing is very polished, I appreciated that a lot, and your use of imagery is creative and intricate. I felt so sorry for poor baby Scorp in the end! I am pretty attached to my Draco, but I can definitely see him reacting, in the moment, pretty cruelly.

All in all, excellent job, hon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

I'm also quite attached to Draco, this is probably the cruellest I've ever written him actually. Definitely something different for me.

Thanks for creating such an interesting challenge. I enjoyed taking part :)


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Review #11, by ciararoseFrozen Doll: Broken Doll

17th March 2011:
Hello dear!

First of all, great job with this challenge! You definitely fulfilled the requirement wonderfully. The story is very suspenseful in the way it unfolds, and leaves the reader really wondering what happened to her, but at the same time, it is clear that the focus is more on the lack of accountability and the lack of attention that is paid to her than what actually happened.

I think your description is really well done here. The image you present is chilling, and I really liked the little snapshots of different reactions: the ones who don't care, and the man who sheds a tear for her, they were all very well done and mysterious. There were a few typos, but nothing serious.

All in all, a very good job. I think you could have taken the story a tiny bit further in the future, without revealing what happened, but maybe concluded with someone who does know her recognizing her, or someone identifying the body? But having it conclude where her body is picked up definitely gives some closure, so I can see why you chose that.

great job!!!

Author's Response: Thank You so much!

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Review #12, by ciararoseBorn Into: Born Into

17th March 2011:
Wow, this was so, so original! I've really never read anything like it. I think it was a great fit for the challenge, too, because the way you wrote it established our interest in the character before we realized who she was. That was a very clever choice, because a lot of people have all these preconceived notions of Petunia, and would have already made up their mind about her by the second sentence. As it was, we were forced to see from her perspective before we knew who we were feeling sorry for, and that was just very, very impressive writing.

I can't get over how unexpected this was! Honestly, it is such an interesting moment toe xamine that now that you've pointed it out, I find myself really thinking in depth about it. How must she have felt? If she was really, truly scared of magic, she must have been terrified her son could be magical. But somehow this never occurred to me before. And the way you wrote this story is marvelous, too- I loved the metaphor about the cleaning, it is so perfectly Petunia. Really just an excellent examination of a perspective I had never given any thought to before.

Amazing job!

Author's Response: I'm definitely the kind of person that would judge Petunia, or Cho, or Lavender before reading on. They're the kind of characters that you grow to dislike, without realizing that they have better sides too. Petunia especially is not received well, while for me, after DH, I saw her in a completely different light. The sort of light I tried to bring out in this story. ;)

When this idea popped to mind, after many, many others, it clicked. Without much planning, I dove right in and just kept bringing the fear to another level. It felt right, once I sat back and announced it finished. I added a few bits in to make it more Petunia-ish (though the cleaning part made it in from the first draft) submitted it, and went to bed. I was so determined to make that deadline!

Thanks for the lovely review, and for second place prize! I was so pleasantly surprised. :D


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Review #13, by ciararoseI Do: Butterflies

17th March 2011:
AW, R/HR! I haven't read a good R/Hr in a long time, and I used to love them. I must congratulate you on deciding to use some really established characters. Many people decided to use OC's or background characters because that was how they interpreted the challenge, but there was no reason more people couldn't have done characters that had background info from the books.

As for this story, I thought it was very very sweet. It is a perfect moment to choose for this kind of challenge, because the focus is on the emotional state. And you wrote it very thoughtfully, including her nervousness in a perfect Hermione-esque way. By the end, it was just so warm and fuzzy and perfectly Ron and Hermione.

They were strong and fierce and waiting for her advancement."

I adored that line. It was so wonderfully Ron. And for characters that have a lot of established backstory, people still seem to write them wrong. You have a perfect Ron/Hermione snapshot here, and I absolutely loved it. The writing was neat and sweet and simple, and you've just done a fantastic job.
Thank you!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I'm really glad you thought it fitted the challenge, I was a bit worried with using established characters, but I had been itching to try out Ron/ Hermione, I'm happy you think I did them justice. :) I had a lot of fun writing this, and thanks for posting such a great challenge! :)

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Review #14, by ciararoseOne and Only: One

17th March 2011:
This was so beautiful, hon! I have never read a Molly/Teddy before, but I was having so much trouble picking a story to read here that I chose randomly. I am so glad I did, because I would not have wanted to miss this. The language you use in this is so poetic, it is somewhere between verse and prose, almost, but it fits so well with the daydreamy voice of Rose. None of the metaphors felt forced, either, rather, they captured things that I would have a hard time putting into words, especially that nighttime quiet thoughtfulness. I'm not making any sense, but that's alright.

I thought the interaction between the two of them was very genuine and natural as well, and that can be hard to accomplish. For the first part of the fic, I was a little confused as to what was happening, but in the end I really didn't mean, because it kind of made the scene unfold for me rather than developing outright, while I tried to figure out what was going on. I don't know if you did that on purpose or not but it ended up working out very well, and accomplishing the same dreamy tone that you kept up throughout.

Beautiful story, I will definitely be keeping an eye on this!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you chose this one. I've been very worried about it; I had to force myself to write it and that never really works out too well.

I've heard that before about my writing - poetry but not - and I take it as an enormous compliment each time I hear it. I strive to make it flow smoothly and also try not to make it too unrealistic or point out things that aren't important.

I'm so happy you mentioned the interaction between them. I really like the ending but I do think the start is a bit confusing. I originally intended for this to be a fairly ambiguous one-shot rather than a short story but then I got carried away by it. So, no, it wasn't on purpose but I'm glad it worked!

Thank you so much, Ciara. I'm so glad you liked it ^_^


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Review #15, by ciararoseThe Ivory Child: The Ivory Child

9th March 2011:
Wow, this story was incredibly creepy. Having read Pet Semetary, I couldn't resist when I found this fic was inspired by it. And you really do it justice, I must say. But I think what you accomplished best was the depth of the feeling that really made the story believable. It was not simply a horror story, it was a tragedy. And not because of the death, but because of the loss of innocence and the descent into madness.

I particularly liked that you managed to accomplish the very delicate task of keeping Draco's madness subtle, even while his wife's was obvious. Draco is at first a grieving father, and then slowly more and more of the twist in his mental state is revealed, just keeping pace with the action of the story. And the fact that you chose to use Draco and Astoria fits so well, because Draco's actions have that element of selfishness or greed that his character is well known for, but also have the helplessness and sorrow behind them that make them totally believable.

And, needless to say, the horror was perfectly done. It is just chilling, the wording, particularly the Ivory Child.

Amazing work!

Author's Response: Hi ciararose,
Thank you so much for the thoughtful review! I was so thrilled to hear that you enjoyed this one-shot and that you found it creepy. As a horror writer, it always makes me happy to know that I gave my readers a little scare. ;)

Also, I'm really pleased that you thought Draco's slow descent into madness was believable. I had a writing teacher who once told me never to write about madness, because someone who is sane cannot possibly understand it. I'm glad you thought it turned out all right in this fic, though. Or perhaps that means I'm less sane than I think? Haha. ^_^

Again, thanks for the great review. It was just wonderful hearing from you and I really do appreciate your kind comments. Have a great week and take care!

Best,
celticbard


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Review #16, by ciararoseTwisted: Pansy's Perspective: Twisted: Pansy's Perspective

6th March 2011:
When I found you had a Draco/Pansy, I couldn't resist. I must say, although this isn't a characterization of Pansy I usually enjoy, I think you did write it very well and put a lot of thought into it. I was reluctantly convinced in the context of your story, and you should be really, really proud of that, hon, because I am REALLY attached to my Pansy.

I think the way you wrote her emotions was very convincing and realistic. She comes across as both broken and still deeply committed, which is a really heartbreaking combination. I liked that you emphasized how much she understands him and how much she wants that connection, because that is an element of D/P that I really enjoy. I can really see a person feeling like this after they have been taken advantage of and discarded.

I loved this line: "Be a model, be like his mother, be exactly what he wanted and adored." because it really sums up what she is willing to do for him. She will throw herself away and become whatever will get him to pay attention to her, it was just so, so sad.

Really well done, hon! I am glad I found this :]

Author's Response: Hello, ciara! Thanks for reviewing this...I should have known a Draco/Pansy lover was bound to find this er-not so Draco/Pansy. (Which is more Draco's fault than Pansy's in my opinion...clearly haha).

Thank you so much for you veeery flattering comments. I really appreciate them and I glad that you understood where my Pansy was coming from and how this world (while different from your own) worked/was believable still. That actually does mean a lot to me as I know how attached you are to Pansy/Draco lol. I really think Pansy would do anything for him and maybe always will, but Draco was not interested for a variety of reasons and maybe in some world (yours :P) they would work out.

Thank so much again for your kind words, I glad you felt for Pansy and that you got a sense of exactly what I was trying to convey!

Best,
Lisa


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Review #17, by ciararoseSummer Rain: Summer Rain

3rd March 2011:
That was really good, love. I have been trying to read more NextGen and so I am just beginning to wrap my head around all of the different pairings, but I loved that you took a really popular pairing and went in another direction with it. You took it that one step further by putting this other dimension on it, and it was done really well. Dominique's feelings really come through in this fic, and it is interesting how, rather than just having her angst angst angst and despair and moan, you took it to that level where she is almost... resigned, where she is speaking to him with that level of pain, but also of acceptance. She knows the situation exactly, she isn't in any kind of denial, and that makes her pain that much more realistic, I think. She has reached the point of understanding the situation where she can feel her pain but also see it objectively.


I really enjoyed this! Excellent work!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you, Ciara(: NextGen was hard for me to get into at first, as well. It's kind of overwhelming. But eventually I found some ships I liked and it was fun. I really like Scorpius/Dominique and I felt like an evil sadist breaking Dom's heart in favor of Rose, but eh, gotta do what you gotta do. :P And yeah, resigned is definitely one of the things I wanted to show in this. She isn't begging for Scorpius to come back for her, she's just expressing how she feels. Thank you so much for reviewing! It's made my day :D

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Review #18, by ciararoseThe Woeful, Inspiring Tale of Draco Malfoy and HermioI mean Mia Zabini: The Woeful, Inspiri... oh, whatever.

28th February 2011:
OHMYGOD.
Can I just say that this fic had me literally laughing like a loon all alone in my large apartment? I was laughing and lollygagging alone like a lunatic loon and a lord of all thing largely not logical all alone in my lonesome large living room.

That is what this fic did to me. Right up there. See it? It's there.

There is absolutely no point on doing CC on this because it was deliciously, fabulously nonsensical. It sat right on the border of some of the actual fics I have read, the ones that make me want to weep black tears of despair.

And yet weep I did not.

You know why?
Because of this:

It had been a most tantalizing snog.

Author's Response: I tried understanding that paragraph, but then I just moved on to the rest of the review. :P I'm glad I made you speak a whole bunch of crazy nonsense, though. It feels like an accomplishment.

I wanted some of it to sound actually serious, just to add to how ridiculous it all is. And well, it had been a most tantalizing snog. Even if the silver orbs had eyelids covering them.

THANK YOU, CIARA! :D


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Review #19, by ciararoseMorocco: CHAPTER TEN

22nd February 2011:
Okay, first of all I will say I meant to review every chapter like a good person, but for reasons I will explain, I couldn't, so I will leave the most epic review I can instead.

I first decided to take a look at this story when I planned to write my first Next-Gen, also an Action/Adventure. I have read quite a few of your stories and you were the first nextGen writer I read. I have heard so much about Morocco all over the forums that I decided it was finally time for me to have a look.

I have to say, this story is really incredible. The world you have created in just ten chapters is so rich and compelling and a perfect accompaniment to the action in the story. Not only did I find the situation of the Magical world horrifying, but horrifyingly realistic as well. As terrible as it sounds, we have seen evidence that humanity is capable of true evil, and you depict it perfectly in this story. I first read it to get an idea of good pace and content for my story, but I soon found myself absolutely captivated by the characters and the events, and that is why I didn't review every chapter, because I was too busy reading the next.

As I said, I don't read a lot of NextGen, but you have created two very distinct characterizations that never slip up. I am mildly in love with your Scorpius, honestly, and I think Rose is a perfect combination of Weasley fire and Granger control. I really like that rather than depict ScoRose as a Romeo/Juliet tale, as many do, you gave them their own story. And actually, I usually hate pregnancy in stories, but it was introduced at the absolute perfect moment in this one, because it became a part of the plot rather than the whole plot.

As far as the action goes, you write it wonderfully! Your story never seems to drag at all, there are no slow parts, but there are moments for the reader to stop and breathe and consider. The romance, too, is very well introduced into the action, because by the time things get romantic we are already invested in the characters, which is so refreshing. So many romantic plot lines very quickly become the whole focus of the story, and in this story, the reader becomes involved in the romance but can't get distracted by it because there is simply so much going on.

As for the bad characters, you have done an excellent job of making your reader absolutely loathe them and still keeping them human rather than just this villainous machine. They are all acting on what they believe is right, even if that belief is wrong.The story about Cass and her baby is horrifying, it gave me chills, but it really fits with her personality and the insanity that she is promoting. It's a real skill to be able to write such horrific things without turning your story into a slasher novel where violence is just ramped up for the sake of violence.

All in all, this is definitely one of the most compelling stories I've ever read, and for someone who rarely reads NextGen, Action/Adventure, Futuristic stories, stories set in foreign countries, or Weasley stories, that is really, really saying something. You're amazing, hon, seriously. Now I will go stare at everything I have written so far self-consciously for a while.

Author's Response: wow

ive been staring at this review for ages and wondering what to say in response. i should start with thank you I suppose, so THANK YOU!!

I am so pleased you like it and you clearly understand what it is I am trying to do with this fic. it was history that motivated me to write this in a way, and yes, we have seen that people are capable of such terrible acts, and I guess i wanted to explore the motivation for such things.

hahahaa i am more than mildly in love with scorpius! he is a dream to write - they both are. they have come so naturally, so completely, and i have not had to fight with them at any stage in this fic. i am really happy you like them! personally, i cannot stand the romeo and juliet allusions. i find it totally unrealistic, and like you, i usually hate pregnancy in fics too but this time, it was necessary. the full reason behind it has not been addressed yet, but it will be soon.

thank you! this is the first time i have written something that concentrates so hard on the action side of things, and i am so happy that the pacing is working out. i hate to overloaded with non-stop action as a reader. the romance in this is almost a side-dish. it is there, it is important, but it is not that important you know? i mean, it's necessary for rose and scorpius and for the development of their characters but there is so much more going on.

oh i love writing the bad guys!! i cannot cope with one dimensional villains! they need substance and it has been surprisingly easy to maintain them as flawed human beings rather than simple baddies.

ah the violence. the ToS keeps me in check there - there are parts of this that could be much more intense, lol.

thank you so very much darling!! i am thrilled that you are liking it so far and oh gosh! no self-conscious staring! i forbid it!!

xx


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Review #20, by ciararoseAn Incomplete Collection: Completing the Collection

20th February 2011:
Your story is wonderful! I really enjoyed it. It was an original idea, and so uplifting and sweet in the end. I loved the connection between the bullied main character and Neville. Actually, your main character reminded me of my little brother, a little. I mean that as a compliment, he was very realistic and natural. And the bullying was just so sad.

The idea for the Chocolate Frog in the end was my favorite part, it was so original, and so very fitting for Neville. He never expects to be great, and then in the end he is a real hero, who should be acknowledged for his acts.

It was all very well written, with excellent spelling, grammar, and general writing technique to match the great idea for the story. This story really made me happy, it has that same uplifting quality as the actual books do. Wonderful work!

Author's Response: What a review to make me grin from ear to ear!! Thanks so much for taking the time to write.

It was one of those rare days where I read the challenge information and a bunny came rushing in through the front door, just begging to be written. I have a soft spot in my heart for Neville, and especially for those kids that were always teased because they didn't fit in with the rest.

I'm glad you enjoyed the writing. I wasn't sure of a lot of things when writing this story and I was a bit skeptical about how it would come across. So I'm happy to hear you liked it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!


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Review #21, by ciararoseOnce Upon a Dream: Once Upon a Dream

19th February 2011:
Hello love!
I've never read an Andromeda/Tonks before, but I think, based on what we do know about them, that this was a wonderful view of them and their lives. The characterization certainly stayed true throughout this story. I loved the flirtatious scene between them, the dialogue in particular was very well done and seemed natural.

I think you struck a good balance between character exploration and actual events in this fic, which a lot of authors struggle to do, myself included. The story was short, but it did move forward and get somewhere. And the romance was very refreshing- it was neither all fluff, nor all angst, and for that it seemed more natural and realistic. I liked that you showed Andromeda dismissing him and then went back and revealed more of their relationship, rather than following the usual I hate you- you're okay- I love you pattern.

All in all, an excellent portrayal of a rarely-seen pairing. I am trying to CC, I really am, but I am not good at it, and can only really give you my general impression, which in this case was really good.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm always a little iffy on my dialogue so that means a lot that you found it natural!

I never imagined that Andromeda would actually hate Ted. I can see him wooing her over the course of several years with his cheeky humor and oh-so-sweet comments. And her having that inner struggle to not fall for him. :)

Thank you so much for reviewing. :D --Jenna


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Review #22, by ciararoseWhat If.: Shhhh Baby.

16th February 2011:
This introduction to Aliana was a good start. I think her reaction is very believable, considering the trauma she was witness to. It reminds me a lot of real life school shootings. The idea that a place of safety and familiarity can become a place of nightmares is very disturbing.

The jump from Aliana sobbing in her mother's arms to Aliana sitting at the mirror and thinking she was alright was a little abrupt. That being said, it really didn't bother me that much, so I wouldn't worry about it.

I did really enjoy the article. I think it was a good way of conveying the information you wanted to, and it was written well. This chapter does a good job of drawing the reader into a safer place, but the article reminds them that all is still not well. It's a creative way to write, and I enjoyed it.

Again, doing well!

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Review #23, by ciararoseWhat If.: Blankets of the Night

16th February 2011:
Great start! Your description is really rich and vivid, it really seems like your strength as a writer. The beginning was very intriguing. I feel like it would be difficult for someone to stop reading past the first chapter, because the first draws the reader into the second so well.

There were a few points where I was a little confused and had to go back a sentence or two, which I think was tied in with your descriptions- they're lovely, but be careful not to get so wrapped up in them that you forget to make yourself clear. I think part of my confusion was due to my own tendency to read fast, and definitely not all the writing, but just something to keep in mind.
All in all, a very solid start. I don't have much to say besides that, and will reserve further evaluation for later. I like it so far!

Good job!

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Review #24, by ciararoseHopeless: Hopeless

8th February 2011:
First of all, thank you so much for participating in my challenge! It was my first one and I was a bit nervous.

Now, to business. Let me congratulate you! This is an absolutely beautiful, stunning piece of work. And I don't say that lightly. You really rose to the challenge with this one. The concept alone was very creative, because it really does capture one moment, but that one moment is so complex and captivating that it encompasses a whole story.

Your description, in particular, is gorgeous. This is exactly what I was hoping to get for this challenge: a piece which richly explores one moment and every aspect of it. You really used the combination of description and internal monologue, almost stream of consciousness, to tremendous effect. The fact that we don't even have the character's name didn't even hit me until the very end, because the description created such a vivid persona that she didn't really need a name.

The moment where the Dementor actually kisses her was just chilling, especially the thoughts afterward. This was my favorite line:


"She is not able to give in. She does not live but she exists."

It is so simple, but so profound. It sums up the entire story very well. I am trying really hard not to just rave about this the entire review and find something constructive to say, but honestly, it really is just a wonderful piece of writing. I'm going to add this to my favorites. That was supposed to be a part of the winner's reward, but this merits a favorite regardless.

Thank you so much for participating! Beautiful work!

Author's Response: Thanks for having the challenge! In-the-moment writing is my favorite type, and I saw your challenge and I was like YES. It was a pretty epic moment for me.

Thank you so much! I'm really excited that you like it :) I'm bouncing up and down on my seat but perhaps that's because I had too many cookies but STILL. Thank you! I don't even know what to say. And I think I said thank you about 3 times so I'm going to try and vary up my response... *pulls out thesaurus*

*gives big hug* YAY A FAVORITE! Gah, I'm so happy.

Much obliged :) (See my thesaurus work there?) And thanks a million!!!


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Review #25, by ciararoseHardboiled: Hardboiled

7th February 2011:
AH! This was so fabulous! Let me say first of all, I am a HUGE film noir fan, and this came off really well. I loved the twist in the end, as well. But mainly it was just snappy, sharp, and dramatic, like all good film noir stories should be. Your dialogue was great, the descriptions were great, I'm going to go on and on about this if I don't stop now. I literally started posting a film noir-style novel like five weeks ago with no idea that this existed on the archive, and now I feel like I have found a kindred spirit in celebration of all things that are dark and mysterious and snappy and look like Humphrey Bogart.
The end.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! :-D I'm glad you liked it. Film noir is fabulous, and I'm happy to know you thought this fic was true to the genre (though as you could probably tell, I was using it to be ironic and silly). I'll have to go hunt down your noir novel!

Thanks again, my kindred spirit!

Melanie


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