Ah, okay. So I guess my theory about her possibly being involved in the war in some way is completely out the window :) I thought maybe she might know who he is to have just stopped and picked him up on the street, but I guess not. I also thought she was a witch, but she's a Muggle, isn't she? Just a nice person that wants to help people out.
So is Harry going to leave the magic world now?
Well, at least he isn't alone anymore lol.
Anyway, sorry about this. Again, my reviews are usually longer, your chapters are just a little short (not that that is a bad thing!) and I think I covered everything that stood out to me already.Author's Response: "I thought maybe she might know who he is to have just stopped and picked him up on the street, but I guess not. I also thought she was a witch, but she's a Muggle, isn't she?"
I wouldnt be too sure if i was you, i already said in my last comment to your review that he's not a stranger to her. And about being muggle dont judge people only because they arent doing magic. :) (am i giving too much away?)
Thanks for the reviews. Report Review
Oh how interesting... Well, I am already intrigued by your OC. I wonder if her name means anything... Anyway, the way she just pulls up in this car and whisks him away and he doesn't even know who she is very interesting. I was wondering if she was somehow some part of the war against Voldemort or something have so many friends and family that is either dead or injured.
I enjoyed Harry's thoughts about avenging the deaths of everyone he has lost. I thought his desire to kill Voldemort over and over was great (and pretty Harry-like).
So does he not know who she is at all? total stranger? Anyway, sorry this review isn't very long, I usually go longer but the chapter's short :)Author's Response: Its a great review no matter how short? its actually long compared to other reviews i get, LOL.
For the first part of your review you answered yourself in the next review :)
Well yes she's a total stranger to him...but (trying not to give too much away) He's not a stranger to her. Report Review
Oh, it was very lovely. The first thing that caught my eye was your style and the way you describe things. You showed us the setting wonderfully; I could totally picture the rays of the sun on the water, and the sounds of the kid playing with his dog, and seagulls and other things.
I really felt bad for Regulus because he seemed so confused. The memories of things his family had said to him in the past was especially good. You realize how supportive his mother is, how much he is favoured compared to Sirius, and yet you still see how she is smothering him. When he doubted whether getting the mark was the right thing to do, it really made me realize what a scary thing that must have been. It's like a binding contract to Voldemort and nothing I've read has made me realize it so strongly before.
I really liked the girl coming to ask for help with the dog. For one thing, it added a lot to the chapter to make it more interesting. And for another, it brought in even more memories of his old pet. I think that was a very good thing, because to show how Regulus took in the Krup as a pet showed that he's not some cold heartless killer like the other Death Eaters are - it shows how he would one day turn against Voldemort (assuming he is RAB).
And I loved his reaction to her, even though he did change his mind and decide to help. It was well done because really, what kind of person asks a Death Eater to help find a puppy?? LOL. Not that she knew, but all the same.
It was really enjoyable, thank you for the read.Author's Response: Thank you so much for R&R ^^
MMC is my first piece I've written by myself for aaaages and I wasn't sure how well it turned out in the end, especially as I knew that the 'subject' wasn't something that would attract hordes of readers :P But somehow, after three lovely reviews I'm not worried at all anymore!
I'm very pleased to hear your comments about my style, it has generally been my weak spot. I often forget to describe things enough and people have pointed that out to me. This time though, as I was writing I felt like I was there, expiriencing the setting through Regulus' eyes...I've never had easier time in my life what it comes to writing :P
In this fic Regulus truly is confused. He has found out something that could turn around the entire history, but doing that would be going against everything his family has been telling him. He simply doesn't know what to do. I decided to add the 'memory flashes' to emphasise the point, to give him more of a background as he's one of those characters people know by name but not much else...
What it comes to Walburga Black, she reminds me a lot of a person I know, and thus it was fairly easy for me to portray her. In a sense caring, protetective and loving, but at the same time smothering and very 'high-maintanance mum'.
I actually couldn't stand my OC here would she ever become real:P She's horribly obnoxious, upper middleclass, used to get what she wants, when she wants it...She also is a bit of a world saviour type, and won't hesitate bring out her opinions. Though in my opinion it's good for Regulus to meet someone who won't respect him just because his surname is 'Black' ;).
Oh and I'm 110% for the theory that RAB is Regulus Black, this probably explains a lot about my take on Regulus *grins* Report Review
Weee! lol this was my favorite chapter. Not because of the birthing thing (which you did perfectly... I dont think I could have done it as well, and I have actually been there..) but because James walks in there a scared little boy and comes out an (extremely) proud father. So many emotions and things going on and I think James handled them all brilliantly.
One of my favorite parts was why James had gone on duty that day - that it was Frank's day, but Alice had just given birth. It's a tiny thing that doesn't really matter, but I loved it that Lily actually gave birth two weeks early, it goes completely against what most people write. If you dont mind, I might do something like that myself whenever I get to that point in one of my stories... because (do we know when they heard the prophecy?? if it was when she was still pregnant...) i mean they could be all relieved that she's not due until August, but he comes early and it'd just be dread because it changes everything.
Anyway... I absolutely LOVED James when he was in the room with Lily. It was so perfect and completely in character, and thats saying something, to be able to put a character in such a stressful situation and still have it be completely them. I mean, how often does James Potter doubt himself? Its not his type of thing at all, but the way you write him, he's still the same old James. I love his feeling of uselessness and that he's aware of it.
The best part by far is when he sees the head. I laughed so hard my eyes watered... the description of what it looked like was so funny and so true, and of all things James can only say "has my hair!"
I loved this chapter so much :)
Obviously as I'm sure a hundred other reviews have told you, James's name for the healer was funny as well. I especially loved his outburst at her after Harry was born. Oh, and speaking of that, I loved the part before Harry was born when he screamed at her if she could do something because he just couldn't take it.
Sirius's comment, "Never heard her so angry at you." had me rolling as well.
James is so proud afterwards that it is adorable.
I am completely gushing over this chapter, I loved it to no end. I only hope that whenever I get to that point I can do it half as well in my own story. God, I am so jealous lol. Report Review
Hey! *sheepish wave*
K. So I meant to review last week or something, like I told you I would... and I ended up having to go to a bridal shower that I forgot about, and then I got a splitting headache. As for the rest of the week when I could have reviewed and didn't, I have no excuse except for laziness. So if you want a few weeks to hate me for telling you i'd do something and then not doing it, or for acting like I've completely abandoned this, it is okay lol. But don't hate me for too long because I'm seriously one of your biggest fans. Even though I'm older than you, I completely adore you and everything you write :)
Now that my apology and worship is over with, it's time for the actual review :) Your descriptions of Frank were. excellent. Yet disturbing. You did it really well because as I imagined what you were writing, his appearance even came as a shock to me, and I obviously knew what happened to him before James did lol. But it was all so realistic and I can totally understand the sorrow James felt.
I have to say, Neville's fascination when James was talking to Harry was rather sad.
LOL. I hope that James and Sirius work out this awkwardness between them soon, though I totally understand it. I don't understand how you make everything so realistic when you haven't even been there. Of course, nothing would be as it used to be and even the best relationships would struggle after all that has happened and all that they've seen.
I love Sirius's comeback after James's rude comment. They're both trying so hard, aren't they? To make things normal, I mean.
James's sensitivity to everything is really well done, taking mild offense to even small things such as Lily being referred to as a loss. It's just how somebody would react, being bothered by the little things like that. I love all these little details you throw in :) It's so nice to see James's thoughts on literally everything from Neville to Sirius to Lily, Frank and Alice, etc.
When Dumbledore says "curious", he was looking at Harry's scar, right? If so, I really loved that. That is one thing that I've never given thought to, what Dumbledore would think when he saw it.
Anyway... this review is really crappy. I wanted it to be better to maybe make up for my absence a little... lol but somebody called on the phone halfway through, I got logged out once (thank God I always copy a review before hitting submit) and am all scattered now... Next one will be better :)
By the way, on your AN, your Dumbledore is one of the best I've seen. Mainly the way he speaks - he's just got that magic quality about him that you capture perfectly. "Curious." lol I loved that. Report Review
hm. I told you in chat that I had read your Gideon and Fabian story, but that I had never reviewed, but that you were on my favorite authors... hehe. After we did a little chatting, I figured it'd be nice to at least review, especially since you were on my favorites and you had never heard one single word from me. This is the story that caught my eye.
so... *bursts into tears* lol. It all made so much sense in the end. I had to go back and reread it to actually see if anybody else at all had had contact with Sirius. But no, Sirius stopped himself from touching Harry, and Harry never did say anything to him. It was only to Remus. The Hermione scene made so much more sense after I had read the ending... at the same time, that was one of the saddest parts and I don't know why. Just that she couldn't see him, I guess. I dont know why that seemed so sad to me.
I had been wondering what Harry was pouting about up in that room, but again, everything made much more sense once I got to the ending. How Sirius told Remus it wasn't Harry's fault, and everything. I really loved how you characterized Sirius throughout the entire thing. He is so casual, the way he just walks in and sits on the windowsill and waits. He is perfect.
The worse (or best, but saddest) was by far when Remus looks around and Sirius is gone. He had just been there! :( They had just spent a happy hour laughing at old memories... and then he is gone. To say it is bittersweet is an understatement that probably only Remus can understand. It's got to be like losing him all over again.
Anyway... I rarely RARELY cry over anything. And I didn't cry over this, but I did get a lump in my throat, and that is saying something :) And sorry, I always leave fairly long reviews because I just cant ever seem to shut up. But it was wonderful, I really liked it.Author's Response: Aw bibbs! look at that big ol' long review! totally brightened up my day, I love essay-length reviews! I'm glad that it all went off seamlessly, because I really did want to make it seem like he was there all along. It's a little cruel, I think, in retrospect, to have given Remus that little bit of joy and have it taken away from him so suddenly. My God, I'm mean! I'm so happy that it moved you enough to give you a lump in your throat. It will be my mission to make you cry! hah, that's mean too... I really am a Slytherin, huh? thanks for reviewing! Report Review
*die* It is about time.
Well, first of all I hated Lily's mom. She just bothered me. And I've already told you that I didn't enjoy that part of the chapter, but you know it is only because I didn't like her. Not because of your writing. So I think that is quite the compliment that I was so into a story that I actually disliked somebody. XD
This chapter seemed to go by so fast considering that it is over 3,000 words. I really loved the scene between James and Lily. Being a massive James fan, I think you really nailed him in just that short section. I love the way Lily describes him, he really does sound perfect, but perfect isn't really what he wants. But I think I like him even more than I did before after reading this. He completely doesn't understand what her problem is (how could he) and I love that he has such loyalty to everyone and everything around him. Its perfect and I dont know how to say anything else about that.
But my favorite scene was by far when Sirius confronts her in her dressing room. The way you write them, they really do have chemistry together. I love the way he talks to her, and I love the way he convinces her over and over that she is doing the right thing. His characterization is perfect - i love that he burst out shouting and then adds silencio AFTERwards. lol. I love everything about him here.
As usual, you have a lovely style of writing. Your words simply flow together and they are neither too much nor too little. Its simple yet mature at the same time and I really wish I could write like that.
Now you better stick to that AN and never leave it hanging for 8 months again.Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
And thanks for noticing the length, I'm so proud over that because it's my longest chapter ever and I don't think I've ever managed anything over 1500 :P
I'm glad you liked those two scenes. They almost did me in, especially the one with James, because he's really hard for me to write.
Thank you so much for you compliments! I will stick to the A/N :) Report Review
It was hilarious, the beginning. The wasted time spent explaining the blob and squiggly line. I love that kind of stuff, I eat it up. Its the best, Lauren. I think it's so adorable, haha.
"Spiking the water with firewhiskey?" Haha. I can tell that they are all getting tired if this is what they come up with. The fact that Gideon even had the gall to argue 'what about my plan?' cracks me up. I loved that whole opening scene, by the way, before Lily came down. It reminded me of a bunch of boys playing poker when they know they shouldn't, or something. Like they're all drunk and slobbering fools now, and somebody gets too loud and wakes the wife and suddenly they're all bashful and ashamed of themselves.
The descriptions of Lily were brilliant - you're one of the only people who don't portray her as the essence of perfection. I half expected her to explode at them all with the anticipation the boys were going through as she walked down the stairs. I was pleased that she didn't. It was nice too see her prove them all wrong and be perfectly friendly towards them. Like they just got off the hook.
I loved your characterization of Frank, particularly his friendly manner with Lily :) Know what else I loved? That he is 3 years older than James. I swear, EVERYONE makes him in James's year, something that makes no sense to me because you'd have thought he'd be the fifth Marauder if he was their roommate. I myself have made him 2 years older than the rest. I loved his way about his mother, I can just picture this grown man being scolded by an aging woman in an ugly hat. James's comment about imagining her wearing nothing but said hat cracks me up.
James's wonder and excitement over Lily's 'bump' was well done as well. You've managed to put into words exactly what an expectant father may be feeling. I love the pride you show in him, and even more, I love the description of what it was like telling Dumbledore. Because it is! It's exactly like that! It's so funny. I'm amazed at how you manage to write such things having never been through it yourself, but it is well done :)
I'm going to stop here and catch up on the rest (or another 2 chapters, depending on how behind I am) tomorrow. Sorry again for disappearing, I truly am! Sorry to myself, even, for letting something so good get away. I feel like I've deprived myself!
Author's Response: Good lord! You're reviewing as I'm responding! It must be very early there because it's quite late here - our brains are probably in the same 'I wish I was sleeping' state.
Writing Frank was immense fun, I don't know why. You are right about that irritating habit of people making him the same age as James - it just wouldn't have happened, he had to be older because it would have been extremely unlikely that two teenaged couples in the same social circle would have gotten pregnant at the same time. It seems unusual for couples that young to marry in the Wizarding World even. So perhaps I'm enjoying bustuing up some fo those stereotypes Frank gets lumped with (which is often that he's just like Neville) but I don't see him that way, I've always thought he'd be one of those extremely charming and lovely young men that everyone loved.
LOL, I wanted to inject a little more sensitivity into Lily this time because she has come off as quite a nasty gal in previous chapters, just wanted to show them being a couple, being in love and being scared witless of her still.
Nah, I don't think perfection is much fun to write, irrational, emotional, passionate, brave, loving, cranky, domineering and just a little bit cheeky is how I see her. It wouldn't have been the same if James had been mourning Lily-Sue. (Because let's face it, no one mourns her)
The part about the bump I wanted to be a little more eloquent and lyrical, but it came out as very simplistic awe, which I think works because James has no clue what to do or what he's doing, he is just enjoying feelings he doesn't understand. Eloquent doesn't work for Potter PoV :P
Thanks for the comment on dealing with Dumbledore - I ought to bend your ear sometime about your experiences because I want to to be as realistic as possible, so your opinion really, really matters. I found it to be the most mortifying situation ever - telling your friend, mentor and the person you most respect that you're knocked up and oh, by the way won't be able to fight in your war anymore would have been terrifying and embarassing for such a young couple.
I wrote 600 words of my bridge chapter (chapter 12) tonight, so hopefully I'll be able to get into full swing tomorrow and come up with a chapter within a couple of days. But you are not allowed to worry about disappearing anymore, completely understand in this corner and am just glad you're feeling better. Report Review
Before anything else, I have to apologize for bailing on this. I never intended to leave it so long, but I suppose I just ran out of steam at some point and took a break. And if you ask some of the other people I read for, once I take a break its usually hard to get me going again =( You should know why I've come back, though, if you've checked the forums before checking here, and even if not you probably have a good idea anyway =) And if it is any consolation, I fell into it just as easily as I did the first time and now I feel like a complete flop for walking away from something that I enjoyed so much for so long.
All apologies aside, it was a spectacular chapter. I just love all of James's small musings. Particularly the one about where all that bodily fluid could come from in such a small being. Haha! Small things caught my eye this time - I loved your descriptions, particularly James's lips 'whispering' across Harry's forehead. I particularly enjoyed the small talk about cooking shoes and sleeping on the toilet. Hello, how true is it? Haha
The chaos that James woke to was perfection. I loved the 'domino effect' on those in the room, and how James would have found that funny if it weren't for the creepy aura in the room. It's just those little things that can totally define James's character. I mean really, it takes a special kind of person to see humour in such a thing, especially after all he has recently gone through and lost.
Again with the descriptions, I also loved the slurring of his voice and the following comment about six scenarios of death and terror.
You know I liked the way James frantically checked to make sure Sirius and Remus were still with him. It's just one of those small details that I think a lot of people would have left out, but the importance and meaning behind it is something that perhaps only you and I can understand. Okay, and a few other people, too. =)
I knew it was Frank and Alice right away, and it all seemed so natural. It was odd, though, because it sort of threw me at the same time. It seemed so real and when I realized that it didn't really happen this way, that James never really knew, I was sort of... whoa.. I think it was the part when he says he lied about why Voldemort was after them to the order. I was sitting there trying to figure out why on earth he would be lying? But he must not have wanted the whole order - everyone - to know about the prophecy, especially with the traitor that they knew was around.
It was really odd, I tell you, though it sounds completely lame in writing. Maybe it is just too early in the morning. But take it as a compliment as to how believable and wonderful your writing is when it can confuse me over canon details.
I loved James's reaction. Sometimes all you can do is scream a profanity. And it gets you nowhere, but at least you've done something!
I would normally respond to you A/N, but as you're several chapters ahead of me, you likely don't need any ideas that I might have at the moment (which is my subtle way of saying that I am currently too braindead to have any ideas at all.) Author's Response: Yay! Oh honey, don't even worry about taking a break, I do the same (ask Missy), it's totally okay to feel not in the mood and I wouldn't want to force you into reading or reviewing anything you didn't feel right about.
But it is spiffing to find another review from you :) Like I gushed previously, you are so made of awesome, there should be statuettes made of you and the distributed to various people.
I talked to some of my friends about what it was like the first few months. My sister's godfather has a son about six and I'm pretty good friends with Jasmine, the mum (and have decided that Cade is the spit and image of how James should look), she was telling me all these stories and I haven't used them yet, but the gist was 'it's exhausting, you want to die, but you won't have enough energy for that'.
Glad that I got James' down again, putting any character into extreme situations is extremely trying but I'm getting used to it, I don't know what I'll do when he has to be normal again. I've been in panicked situation, been woken up to just be in fear and terror and grief all at once and it isn't pretty or eloquent, lots of swearing and stumbling over words.
Ah, about the Prophecy - you know, I haven't read this chapter in awhile and I spent a good long time trying to come up with an explanation as to why I wrote it that way and I couldn't remember, but you know it was something about what Dumbledore said about 'Only two people living know the contents of the Prophecy' so I went with that and decided that none of the Order knew, I didn't think on the reasons, but I suppose you're right - truth is that he would have been wary about letting that information out, I don't even think he'd have told Sirius and Remus about it (though for different reasons: protection and suspicion), so - gave me a reason there, and I do take it as a compliment that you would take the time to muddle yourself over reasons for characters to do the things they do.
Ta again for reviewing and don't feel pressured into it, you're a wonderful friend and sounding board and I'm just pleased you like my stuff enough to say something about it.
I think this is your best chapter so far, which is completely remarkable considering that there were so many others with tons of action and cliff hangers. And also considering that this one was largely description and there wasn’t a ton going on. I’m amazed that you managed to keep my attention (and you seriously did, I was on the edge of my seat despite the fact that it was simply a recap of Harry’s week) the entire way through, especially as its such a long chapter for so much description. Can I tell you one more time that I loved it?
I love Harry’s inability to sleep. It’s so realistic and Harry-like. I hope you don’t have any doubts about dragging his insecurity out, not that you have voiced any but if I was writing it I know I’d be worried about taking it too far. I think its perfect though. Mrs. Weasley is just as she always is, forcing Harry to stay in bed and demand that people leave him alone. I love the way she just quietly accepts that he isn’t going to do what she wants him to (sleep) and she has tea waiting for him when he gets up in the middle of the night. I think this is so much more motherly of her than any of her fighting to protect Harry ever was. It was really nice to see her this way, even if she does revert back to her usual ways later in the chapter!
It was nice to see a little Ginny, too. And how loyal of Ron to move in with Harry, despite his excitement over having his own room. Mostly I loved Remus, you know I did. I like the way he has stepped up and taken on a more paternal role with Harry. It’s really great that Remus can recognize small things as a way to reassure Harry that he is there, things such as simply leaving his bedroom door open. I love the vial of waiting potion on Harry’s bedside. Haha, I found it adorable for some reason. For all that Harry has lost, he is really lucky to have such good friends (and I suppose they are even his family.)
It was such fun to see Remus lose his temper because it’s the last thing that I would ever expect from him. But on the other hand, he HAS stepped up and more or less taken Sirius’s place in Harry’s life. It only makes sense that he wouldn’t want Harry left in the dark, and that he will fight for the things he knew Sirius would have fought for. The mounting stress/tension over the Harry situation would certainly be getting to him as well, and enough to make him lose his cool. I just love him to death, Siren, you really do him well. Mostly I liked the scene afterwards when he brought Harry the crumpled up newspaper. Haha, he seemed exhausted and defeated, like he was even surprised at himself for doing that. I wonder what he wanted Harry to see him about?
I loved Bill! Odd, because he only played a very minor role, but I just thought he was so cool. He was like… a mixture of Dumbledore and Sirius. He was wonderful.
Seeing Hermione was good. It was a nice twist to have her parents join her at Grimmauld. I love their reactions to Harry and his outburst. Those poor people are so lost. I really liked the comment about how seeing Harry makes them realize how much Hermione had grown. Its too true… when you see your own child often, you don’t realize how much they are growing until you see somebody the same age that you haven’t seen in years. Ah, lovely small details, I love them. They make things so much more realistic.
It only figures that Snape was responsible for saving them from their upcoming fate with Voldemort. I had to grin when he stepped out of the fireplace because that’s the way it ALWAYS is. Harry thinks he’s awful and he proves himself not to be, and Harry stubbornly insists… That whole scene where Harry blew up at him was fascinating, but it is nothing that he hasn’t done in previous chapters, so I wont comment more on that and waste my allotted word count.
That last part, the exchange between Remus and Snape, was brilliant. Poor Remus, he’s such a good guy. It’s so fascinating to see Snape’s thoughts on him. It is as if he hates Remus just because there is no reason to hate Remus haha. Seriously, who hates a guy like Remus??? Even the werewolf incident when they were in school wasn’t Remus’s fault. I like how gutsy Remus is because very few people portray him that way, myself included. He has actually confronted Snape. It’s something that I would expect from Sirius, but never from Remus. It’s almost as he’s taking on a little of Sirius’s persona in his absence and it thrills me.
I like how he corners Snape with what Harry saw. It’s lovely to see him with the upper hand there, and I also like how the occlumency (if I even got that word right) came into things once more. I had completely forgotten about it previously. Brilliant how Remus pointed out that Harry probably didn’t want to learn simply so he could know what was going on. And lastly, I liked how Snape pointed out how selfish it was, how lives were already lost (Sirius’s) because Harry refused to learn. It’s something that everyone is aware of, probably, but they sort of turn a blind eye to it (I know I do). Completely true though.
It was a brilliant chapter, I absolutely loved it. I’m still baffled at how much I loved it for being so much description, but I truly did.
Author's Response: Aw, the best chapter so far comment made me happy, even if the surprise at it keeping your attention worried me somewhat. This chapter was a lot of description (especially in comparison to recent chapters), but not really something new. There are other chapters like this, mainly right at the beginning, and I kind of wanted to return to that briefly. It seemed the best way to do the recap thing, since the time had to pass and the stuff had to happen, but boy would it have made a boring chapter going through it day by day. And feel free to tell me as many times as you like ^^
I didn’t have any doubts about dragging his insecurity out, until you asked me if I had doubts =P. Now I’m all worried. I figured he had to have some insecurity though, and that it wouldn’t be short-lived. On the other hand I need put some thought into making sure he wasn’t too insecure, and that it didn’t affect every aspect of his life making him incapable of functioning as a human being. I like to think that even Molly can sense a losing battle when faced with one too, even if she does still fight over some things. She wouldn’t be Molly if she just accepted everything =)
Remus has been so calm all through the books I really wanted to show him as someone who is capable of losing his temper. He seems kind of unrealistically calm in the books. You saying that you think I do him well is about the best comment I have received from you too! I’ve actually kind of warmed to the man since writing him as well. As to wondering what he wanted to see Harry about…all will be revealed. Trust you to attach yourself to Bill though; the name I threw in because I needed someone and everyone else was taken. I’m also glad you liked the Hermione comment about her having grown. We only hear of them seeing Harry in CoS, and he must have grown so much to them.
Of course Snape was responsible! How could you doubt otherwise. I do hope Harry and Snape’s interaction isn’t getting old and boring now though.
The bit between Remus and Snape was the original foundation of this chapter. I love your reasoning on Snape’s hatred…it’s almost exactly the way I thought of it. I hope you don’t think him OOC for confronting Snape either though. I tried to make Remus calm and understanding…to a point, and not so much confrontational as concerned. But if him even standing up to Snape at all is wrong for him, then it won’t really matter. Again, in the books he’s always just kind of there but not doing anything. There is a brief bit in PoA where he stands up to Snape over the map, and I tried to base this scene on that one. He didn’t shout, but then again he didn’t really need to.
I am thrilled to bits you enjoyed this chapter so much, and again that you left such a nice, long review. They make my day =)
You already know how much I love this story, but here I shall tell you again. I really like the way you set the whole thing up - with all the different parts of their lives. Some of the more important things that happened and how they shared it. And all the while leading up to the horrible sight that Sirius finds at Godrics Hollow. It really helps with the tension and mood of the story. Mostly I liked the effect of having the one last memory, even after Sirius had found James's body. It seemed to reinforce the fact that the person is always there, even if its only in memory.
I loved all of the parts. I think you did really well with the first part because I know how you struggled with it. It really is great. Sirius's parents were perfect, all the things that they were reminding him. Sirius had the perfect amount of doubt and wonder over what they were telling him. It was enough that he doesnt look like he's always doubted them, but that its easy to see how his opinions changed. I really liked the scene in general because it had a little action and it was interesting.
I liked the fourth part the best. It's probably one of the more defining moments of their friendship (and in this case, something more). I always love reading this scene and you've written it better than most. I like how they aren't afraid to show each other emotion like a lot of guys are. But JKR says they're closer than brothers. I like that you actually show that because a lot of people don't.
The ending was really sad. I liked all of Sirius's thoughts and anger because they were all so accurate. And then the very last scene was perfect. Even if this wasn't slashy, it'd probably still be a sad day for Sirius, the day that James gets married.
Anyway, you know I loved it and it went straight to my favorites
Author's Response: I'm responding, are you happy now? You need to be thanked the most out of anyone for reading my story over for me before I posted it and just being so encouraging. I really like the part where Sirius comes to James after running away from home because it really defines what their friendship is all about and how open they are with one another. I agree that the day James got married would be a sad day for Sirius, just because it probably feels like James is now slipping away from him -- becoming a family man. But you still know that they would be there for one another no matter what, even if it feels like James is abandoning him. Anyways, thanks again for reviewing. You know how much I love you and appreciate you for reading this and commenting. :) Report Review
Aww, Siren, you really are brilliant you know. “Filler”, you say. Oh, whatever.
You know, it was such a relief to see Ron suddenly. I know you told me that we would see him in this chapter, but it still took me by surprise. It almost doesn’t seem like the same story. Anyway, it was nice to see a familiar face and you wrote him well, too. I liked how Harry nearly took his head off with the wand when first waking up. Realistic minor detail. And there’s Hermione staying home with her parents, which you also warned me about. I just have to say that I really like that you did that. Most people don’t. Even JKR doesn’t. She seems to be everywhere before Harry is and its nice to have just Harry and Ron just this once without Hermione being in the middle of it. I also really liked the way Harry missed Remus at first. He’s obviously still a little… insecure, I suppose. And it was lovely how he apologized about Sirius. To be completely honest, because of everything that’s happened so far in the story I’ve completely forgotten about Sirius. I am so ashamed. It was a nice thing to bring reality back after everything, after all the explaining to Dumbledore. Same with Dumbledore’s Umbridge comment. I suppose you’ve kept the time frame in mind all along as you’re the writer, but it truly did slip away from me and I haven’t even considered the events of 5th year. Lame, huh? Will you really have a conversation between Remus and Harry over Sirius’s death? Or was he just saying that and it won’t be covered? Anyway, leave it to Ron to be antsy about the food. And Remus’s advice in regards to Pomfrey was adorable. LOL it was, really. I can still see the Marauder in him. I still want to slap Harry for his stubbornness, but we’ve been over that before so I won’t say anything more on it (already I feel I might go longer than the allowed characters on this review).
The conversation between Snape and Dumbledore was lovely. You really pulled it off well, explaining things that we already know. I mean you put a different spin on it (I think you did it better than JKR did) and it wasn’t boring or anything to reread what we already knew. This is why I have trouible accepting the chapter as “filler”. I suppose you could consider it that as the horcrux idea isn’t yours but JKRs and you’re just redoing it… but it really is vital to the plot and all, especially as this is where it all starts with Snape and his help fetching the ring. I thought this entire part was brilliant and surprisingly I enjoyed this more than I enjoyed the parts with Remus in it! Snape’s comments are as witty as ever and Dumbledore certainly gives him a run for his money this time around.
You know, when Dumbledore asks something and Snape lies to make it seem like it isn’t as bad as it is? It makes me think that part of his grudge towards Dumbledore (at least what he experienced in the future when he destroyed the portrait and all) seems to be his own fault for being so misleading about the whole incident and hiding how things truly are. I suppose one could argue that Dumbledore, being the wizard that he is, would know better and would know the truth anyway. But all the same. Did you do that on purpose? Does it even matter?
My all time favorite part? It was when Snape reveals that Draco is to kill Dumbledore. Dumbledore’s reactions are brilliant!!! You handled it with grace and humour and perfect Dumbledore-ness. I’ve always wondered how (assuming he actually knew of the plan) Dumbledore would react to this news. I can’t see him getting all weak kneed or something, but I never was sure. I love how you did it. He is completely unsurprised and he doesn’t seem at all bothered. “is that all?” he says, I loved it! And the drugged sweet comment made it even more funny, and the thing is, I totally can see where that suspicion came from. I wouldn’t be surprised if they WERE drugged in some way, Albus is so quirky.
It was nice to end it back with Remus, Harry and Ron. It adds a little lightness to the chapter after the more serious discussion. A trick you seem to be using more and more frequently. Well, I don’t know… more frequently in THIS story, at least. Anyway, I know this review is short compared to some of my others. I suppose because a large chunk of the chapter covered the horcrux explanation, what we already know. I do want to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the explanation of the last horcrux, how it was meant to be made from Harry with a Gryffindor item, but was eventually settled for Nagini. Anyway, that is all, and sorry it took me so long. It really was a nice, lighter read for this story and I don’t think it was filler at all.
Author's Response: As usual I have PM'd you the full response, as it was too long.
I am so pleased you like Ron too! Out of all the characters I have written, I was most worried about your reaction to him. He even outdid Remus. Possibly this is because you read Marauder stuff more, so I felt I had to make the characters you don’t read so much extra good so as not to put you off. The Hermione thing annoys me too, it has to be said. She never seems to spend any time at home or with her family. Every Christmas she stays with Harry, and every holiday she visits Ron. It just doesn’t seem to fit with her character that she would so blithely abandon her family either, so she didn’t. You weren’t the only one who forgot Sirius either. The only reason he appeared here is because of the little note in my chapter plan saying ‘Harry and Remus discuss Sirius’. It does seem like so long ago, and in many ways it is to Harry, which I like, because it softens the loss somewhat so I don’t have to have him moping around. Saying that though I also don’t have to have him do what he did in HBP and have a sudden turn around in which he matures almost 20 years overnight and therefore grieves the loss of his godfather no more. There will be a conversation later down the line, however I haven’t yet decided how much detail I will be going in to. I guess it depends on whether I can stop it turning into a sentimental load of drivel, as conversations of this variety are horribly overdone in fanfic, and I don’t want to fall into the cliché.
I always figured Dumbledore knew of the plan, and I couldn’t resist the ‘is that all’ line. He remains calm about it, almost uncaring, although he does still care, as you can see when he starts to get a little short with Snape for continually questioning him. And of course Snape doesn’t understand why he is acting that way. Dumbledore is effectively gambling with his life in the hope there is a chance to save Draco. Snape could never understand that sort of motive as it is completely beyond him, for the moment at least *hint hint*. Drugged sweets seems the next logical explanation though. *huggles Albus*
And yeah, I have been using that trick more and more. There were so many intense chapters in a row though that to continually add more and more of that variety, with no break, is a little much. And there is so much seriousness in this fic that I try to add in a little lightheartedness wherever I can. I don’t think your review is short either, especially since, as you said, so much of this chapter covers stuff all ready known. I am glad to know you enjoyed it anyway. I’m glad you liked the Harry bit too. Thank you for leaving yet another, wonderful review. You know I just don’t feel happy about a chapter until it has gotten your seal of approval =) Report Review
Ah, you lucky duck. I have the same problem with the reviews. I so desperately wanted to boast one of my reviewers and show them off in that thread, but I couldn't choose just one.
Anyhoo. That whole Harry thing was brilliant. As I have a 2 year old (or he's almost 3 now), I certainly know how that goes. There's nothing more stressful (and ear splitting) than a child screaming and you don't know how to make it stop! I think you did a great job of capturing some of the helplessness in that situation. At the same time, I thought it was wonderful that James didn't even care, he was just too relieved to have Harry back and too exhausted with everything else going on.
Can I just say how wonderful it is that Sirius is sleeping in the corner? Even if he doesn't play a role in this chapter.. he is there and that's what matters. And James wanting to give him relief through sleep, I love those guys. They take care of each other, which I suspect will become a big issue in this as James recovers from Lily's death. *can't wait*
I laughed so hard at poor Remus. It was a worthy attempt at calming Harry down and he just seemed so surprised that it didn't work. His line about frightening Harry was priceless, which is odd because it was so simple, but I could imagine him saying it like he hadn't expected that and then the sheepish "sorry Harry" was too much. James's nose comments through me even further, I felt so silly chuckling at the computer.
And it was the perfect time to bring it what happened to Remus. I was still smiling stupidly at the computer screen. The humour and seriousness balanced themselves out perfectly. Just as James did, I found the image of Lily laying dead in the house for hours disturbing. If it bothered me, it is sure to bother him. You did a wonderful job with that -- the fact that in his mind he sees her with her eyes open and an accusatory look... perfect (and sad and I'm sure it makes him feel horribly guilty).
Lastly, I loved Sirius and the bike with Harry. I can so imagine Lily calling Sirius in the middle of the night to come and take Harry. I find that hysterical!! And Sirius actually comes. LOL I guess thats what godparents are for. Its just so funny that she was so against Harry going for a ride on the bike, but the second he's been crying all night she's like, "forget that" and calls him up. Well, I guess I don't need to repeat what you already wrote.
Great chapter!!! =D And I liked the end paragraph. It was like truth and realization were brought to the surface. I wonder if things will ever be the same. Author's Response: I do Santa photos, so I've been dealing with 200+ under 5's everyday for the past three weeks - seeing them in extremes (extremely happy, extremely terrified or extremely screamy) so, let's just say that Harry's mood was drawn heavily from quite a few of those kids and trying to get them to calm down, knowing how hopeless it was to even try when they're that upset. But I only see them for 5 minutes at a time, so I bow down to the mums and dads.
I think all of the Marauders had a special relationship with Harry, I for some reason think that Remus would have been awkward around him sometimes - afraid he might accidentally hurt him - probably wasn't around any kids after he was bitten, so I can see him as loving Harry to pieces but not quite knowing what to do with babies. I...er...I think I may have said that "I think I might have frightened him" line quite a few times. Peek a boo is a game of chance.
Yeah, I always had it in my head that Remus would have been a suspect until Sirius was caught and I don'r imagine they'd have been kind to werewolves considering the reputation Greyback gave everyone. About Lily - not a nice image and I'm sure Remus and Sirius will be haunted by what they've seen - of seeing James like that, of Lily dead and no one even trying to cover her up while the crowds just stared and pointed. Remus would have been in a state, screaming at everyone to stop looking at her and cover her up and then they'd have dragged him away...yeah, er, that day would have sucked for everyone but it's those ideas of grief, shock, fear and pain that keep cropping up in my imagination.
Ah, Sirius the doting godfather - he so would have been that crazy uncle who slipped Harry lollies when James and Lily weren't looking, buying him gifts all the time, buying him alcohol when he got older :P And like you said - a parent will do anything after a kid's been screaming for hours, I can see Lily and/or James, bleary eyed and crumple haired, popping up in Sirius' fireplace and begging him to come over (or in Lily's case screaming at him) until he agreed and Sirius putting on a big show of how he didn't want to be there and secretly loving it.
I think it's a great comfort to James that Sirius is there, he doesn't have to move or talk, James just have to know that he's there and at least something will be okay.
THanks again for your wonderful and comprehensive review, you are, of course, one of the many who I adore and who are so good to me. I'll try to update within a couple of days, perhaps after I've written a couple more chapters so I can always stay ahead.
Brilliant plot developement and characterization. I love the subtle humour, it really helps to break up some of the seriousness. And this part: This story needs to be at least 500 words! The ending was perfectly executed. You have potential, I think you should do a sequel. 10/10. =)
haha! Author's Response: Braking up the seriousness of the story is something that was important to me. Sure, the characters have been hardened by their experiences, but that's no reason to be stoic.
I'm glad you liked the ending, I was pretty happy about it. I was considering writing a sequel which was at least 600 words, but frankly that's a bit too cliché for my liking.
Thanks for the kind review ;) Report Review
That had to have been a stressful position to be in -- telling about Peter transforming. I have to say that James quite smoothly avoided the question of how Peter became an unregistered Animagus. I hope that doesn't come back to bite him and Sirius later, though! It also makes me wonder if you'll have Peter caught in this?
I love James's temper. He's so fiery, but he still keeps a cool ahead and doesn't just act out based on his feelings (something that Sirius would probably do...). I think you did a really good job of capturing that, though... how he suspects that Scrimgeour's motives for wanting Harry looked at aren't all for safety, but agrees anyway because it will still help Harry. You said Scrimgeour knew which battles to let go; obviously James does as well. I can't imagine it'd be easy to write about him in his current situation... grieving, angry, frustrated, etc. all at once. His thoughts are torn between concern for Sirius, mourning Lily, anger with Peter and guilt over Harry. I love it and you handled it well!
I had forgotten that they didn't know what TRULY happened yet. Of course James would expect that Lily had taken out Voldemort herself. Poor James, he must be so confused haha. I'm not sure which line it was where I get the feeling, but I can tell that James really admires Lily with this new piece of information. Like he is in awe of her or something, even though you never actually said that. When he says he was doing a poor job of honouring her sacrifice, it really reminded me of Harry in the books... It's so neat how I keep seeing little bits of Harry in James. I never thought they were much alike, but they are. Of course, James is much cooler about it. :)
I love the ending. It is enough. That's all he needs, really.Author's Response: Oh it probably will come back to bite them, knowing how persistant the Ministry can be. I haven't yet decided what to do with Peter, it all depends on what I do the Weasley family, I guess. Because as soon as James, Remus or Sirius see that rat - they're going to know.
James is being torn apart, you're right about all those emotions and he's being pulled in different directions and not letting anything out but his anger, really. Yeah, that's also something tht's going to come back and bite him.
Harry is very like his father in some ways - quieter and less confident, but he's still his father's son. And yes, James is in awe of Lily and thinking he'll never be able to live up to what she did for Harry, what's she gave him.
Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
*dies of happiness* Not only does Sirius make his big entrance here, but two chapters at once??? Christmas has come early!
This chapter seemed to be really "heavy", if that's a good word for it. It was a lot of James's thoughts and memories and they were all on things other than Lily. The way you broke it all up with the subtle humour was perfect :) I liked the beginning. Apparantly the Ministry has hardly changed at all between James's time and Harry's time! James's threat about talking to the Prophet made me think of something Harry would do.
Ted Tonks was marvelous. I was really surprised to see him (completely, really, I've never seen him tied into a story) but his role was brilliant! It makes perfect sense that the Order wouldn't want to go to St. Mungo's all the time. You made him real with his fears and doubts of helping the Order. I loved the memory of him hiding in the closet... It was because of Sirius's role there more than anything. I think this is the first time I've ever seen Sirius be the more mature one... obviously it happens, I probably just don't read enough! But anyway, I really liked that he was the one to step in and reassure Ted and smack James.
And then there was Sirius :) You wrote their reunion beautifully. All of the perfect things. Sirius didn't even look for anybody else, did he? Beeline straight to James. I loved James's reactions, the "constant" and the reassurances of having his best friend back. Even while I was reading that, it was like physically feeling this weight being lifted. Things just got better. I loved the joking, or the want to, about wandering hands (and the idea that its what they'd normally do). Mostly I adored Sirius's response to James's question. I know its what they normally do in that sort of situation, but I thought it was spectacular of him to not tell James what happened and worry him even more.
All of the body movements were right on also. The shakiness, shuddering, trembling and jerkiness. The descriptions of the cuts left by the shackles, and I loved the "defeat" of Sirius and how he looked smaller. James was just perfect, forgetting even Lily for a moment and becoming angry about what somebody did to his friend.
Obviously I could go on and on (and that was quite a ramble... sorry it was a little all over the place), but I'm itching to get on to the next chapter. ... *sigh* I wish this was how it really happened.Author's Response: I love Ted Tonks. I love him and I don't know why. I've even less reason to love him than I do James, but I'll keep adopting those mysterious characters and fleshing them out as I see fit :D
I had often wondered why Ted and Andromeda wouldn't be in the Order, it seemed like they might be interested in showing their allegiance to Dumbledore considering their history but itwould have been such a dangerous move given that they already had a huge red target on themselves.
And yes, Sirius can be mature and responsible at times. Understanding too, and given that outside of James - Andromeda and Ted were probably the only family he had and he knows James well enough to know when he's being a dolt.
I stuggled writing that reunion, I had a lot of difficulty getting the reactions down, actually. I really struggled with the right measures of anger and relief and making Sirius seem affected but still having him be...him. And of course he'd go straight for James, he was probably being tormented by the idea of seeing James, helpless and prone like that (I had it in my head that Hagrid was there, so Sirius left James to his care after making sure he was alive and then leaving), but the memory of seeing their house, Lily dead and James bloodied up and looking dead would have haunted him. (I've always thought that when Sirius saw the boggart of Harry dead t Grimmauld Place that he thought it was James - because that was the last time he ever saw him), so yeah...James was the only thing in his head and he was probably touching him just to make sure he was there.
Sirius, Remus and James - all with their secrets. I wonder if anyone of them will ever talk willingly of their experiences...
Thanks again for reviewing, your reviews ae always brilliant and insightful, you give me an outlet for fangirling! Report Review
Hooray!! Another transformation, that's the part that I have been looking forward to. I loved everything about it. It was really interesting to finally see the way the connection between them works, and what a clever idea that Remus couldn't see properly enough to know who was with him! Descriptions were sublime about the snow and mud and everything. I did want to point out:
There were footprints in the snow... Smaller footprints than normal, and they were not the heals that he knew the nurse wore. Someone had been near him last night. There was someone who knew who... what... he was. Remus ran as fast as he could up to the Entrance Hall. He skidded into the castle. His went shoes squeaked on the tiling as he made his way quickly to the Headmaster's office. Someone was bound to expose his secret. He was ruined.
Remus jetted up the slope to the school; his coat wrapped snugly around his body. His ankles were killing him, his bones were cracking and a disgusting squish sound rung in his ears when he contracted his muscles to control his shivering. Up where the doors led to the Entrance Hall, Remus skedaddled. He had to make it to the Headmaster’s office, quickly before anyone had the chance of ratting him out.
His wet sneakers caused him to slide across the tiled hall, but that didn’t stop him. His breathing was getting more ragged and he was starting to grow tired from his run. The slipped gave him an extra nudge to the gargoyle in front of Dumbledore’s office.
He ran up to the entrance hall, and then the next thing you know, he is running up to it again! LOL!
So yay! The other Marauders are back! I enjoyed the scene between them, even with Lily telling James off (hey, I can appreciate that she felt bad about it). The scene with Lily and Snape in the snow... it was alright lol. I liked it, you wrote it wonderfully, but I'm still having trouble accepting Lily and Snape together.
I think my favorite part, though, was when Remus told Snape off at the end. He's getting a little testy and jealous and it was so cool to see him, normally the subdued one, jumping to James's defense in this issue.
Okay, now hurry and update! 9 more days! Report Review
Aw! Thanks to me! That's so nice :)
Anyway, sorry this took me so long, I've been a little bit wrapped up in being lazy for the past week, but now I am back in the game (both with writing and reviewing). I loved Lily so much in this chapter! She was the sweetest thing, so excited to give her presents to her two guys! And it was so funny about Severus not wanting the gift because he didn't have one to give in return, and then Lily's response to that!!! LOL because (as you know) that's exactly what mine is about!
Seeing as I'm not a Snape fan, the part with Remus was my favorite. The poor guy, brooding because he saw Lily and Snape kissing. It was so fun to see him open his gift (I loved the description -- a child at a carnival!) and it was adorable that he got her something in return, something that he had seen her eyeing for years. I want more of him! She'll leave Severus, right?? RIGHT???
That last scene was interesting, haha. It's so fun to see Lily, normally portrayed as the rule abiding prefect, out getting a warning from the caretaker. Severus's last thought.. hmmm... My first thought was that this is how he finds himself going into the tree, but then it was Sirius who convinced him to do that... and he already knows about the werewolf thing... then again, this is AU... *lost in thought* Report Review
it is so brilliant. omg, i am so jealous.
to address your AN's first, because I feel like I have to blurt it out right pronto and fast -- continue FOREVER. I could just sit here and read it until the end of my days and then die a happy person. However... if you don't want to write this for the rest of your life, I think covering just the next year of James's life is good. It's probably about how long it'd take for things to start being... well, not normal, but... acceptable.
Boy did I love that bar scene. They are such guys, aren't they? The descriptions were so vivid it was as if I was there, and the little things they argue about (Muggle women vs. witches???) completely do not surprise me. I love them. :) as for the extra appendages... well... :D
Those two girls that came onto them were...they were annoying, really. Not your writing of them, you wrote them brilliantly and you did really well with who they are. But dang it. How dare they? I loved both Sirius and James's reaction. "married" Sirius says, I loved it! And James pushing Milly away...
The Death Eater scene was absolutely captivating. It was realistic and all, I liked the way James just knew he was going to die, things were going all wrong at first. It didn't make him look like a Gary Stu or anything, it was all drunk and glory and wand fumbling and dumb luck.
I forgot about the scene in the alley for a second. How could I? I thought it was adorable that Sirius took of James's glasses for him. And the chattering as they walk, and James feeling sorry for the owner of the flower boxes...
The second Lily said "I'm..." I just knew she'd say she was pregnant. I was all, "OH!" but I was wrong, he already knew, though it still had something to do with BEING pregnant. It's a sensitive issue, but I liked how an abortion was considered. They are very young, after all, to be having a baby and I think the thought crosses pretty much everyone's minds when they are pregnant at that age.
As you can see, I could ramble on and on... maybe I'll bore you with it in PM some time... or your Author's thread... anyway, a couple typos: He lay in the hospital, his throat was dry and his body felt like it was bruised from head to toe. He looked over to his left and fount Lily sitting there, resting her head in her hands. fount is found. There was another, but now I can't find it, lucky you :D
Will he be busting Sirius out of Azkaban in the next chapter? Poke me again when you updateAuthor's Response: Have I told you how much I love your reviews? I wrote much of the bar scene with you in mind, you said there wasn't enough focus on Sirius/James in one of the threads in the Common Room and I thought you were right and I'd try and give you something to gnaw on, glad it came across well.
I would so love it if I had the determination to sit down and write this forever, but mostly that scares me as much as I love writing it. A year, I think, passing by and ending with the one year anniversary of her death will give me plenty of time to really torture James. I thought about maybe doing snapshots from it in one shots - Harry getting his letter, first day at school, first detention, James beating the snot out of Snape in front of everyone at the first Quidditch match...Sirius taking the role of surrogate father when James feels unable, trying and unable to get James to open up and despairing that he can't do anything for him...yeah, um...I may have decided to do a sequel now and start from when Harry gets his letter. You can take the credit for inspiring me to do so!
Milly and Mandy - oh dear, I felt almost bad for using them like that after James had argued so fervently for muggle girls. I needed to get a reaction out of him and I figured another woman compromising him when hes so confused about his marriage would be perfect, didn't hurt that they were utter tarts.
I'm not very good with action scenes and if you think this one was gory, tis is after I edited it down quite a bit. He was drunk so while I think James would have been a brilliant duelist, he was taken by suprise and in an altered state of mind, but he still has enough talent and power about him that even in such dire straits he'd be able to pull through. The Death Eater, by the way, so overwhelmed with rage when called a Coward that he made a fatal error is someone you might recognise had he taken off his mask.
I think I sort of intended it to be misleading about what was actually going wrong for James and why he was drinking with Sirius, mostly I just wanted people to think his marriage was falling apart (and why wouldn't you think that judging from the only other depiction I have of them?) and he was in despair, but I've always thought that Lily having an abortion would have been something that definitely crossed her mind - it would have taken her from the war, she'd have felt guilty about that and unable to stand by James and fight, struck down by what she probably would have been embarrassed about at such a young age. I don't think she'd actually have wanted to, but it seems as though she would have felt it her duty along with all the other 'Jesus Im having a baby!' thoughts that would have gone through her head. It would have been a lot to take and I can see her telling James and thinking he'd want to have an abortion too and the magnificent row that ensued.
Sirius will be around next chapter. Report Review
This is going to be short because I want to move on and catch up tonight.
It looks like things are finally starting to come together, though, with Sirius's talk to Draco. It's been so long, though, since I've read this that I might be forgetting something, so I think I may be going back and skimming over chapters later. However, I love how witty Sirius is when speaking to Draco!
And I have a feeling that headline is going to cause a lot of trouble. :)Author's Response: Thank you!! Report Review
ARGGH! What is with the locket!!?
This is my favorite chapter so far. I loved everything about it. The confrontation in the hall was so real and lovely and angsty and Hermione was so confused. And Sirius was just there and he didn't know either.
But the scene in the garden is the best. I was completely captivated and I'm just sitting here wondering what kind of spell this locket has on Sirius. It obviously has something to do with Draco.
Amusing that she used him, in a way, to know if Draco would ever share. Because she knew he wouldn't, but if she could get him to, then she could get Draco to as well. But he shared because of the locket and we know he wouldnt have otherwise..but she doesnt know... its a big confusing triange, isn't it? Author's Response: Thank you!! Report Review
Ah, there it is. The slip about Ginny. I'm still holding out for learning what happened to her and how she related to this. grr at Draco for interrupting.
Anyway. That poor girl. Who can contain the laughter when you have Sirius Black and Viktor Krum mooning you??? Especially when you are actually TRYING to remain serious for Draco.
I enjoyed this chapter, though I did miss Sirius in it. :D lol I definitely enjoy it more when Hermione is with him than with Draco. Their conversation was well written. I feel like it was really meaningful and that its important and sort of... a turning point in their relationship, sort of. I dont know what I'm talking about.
Suffice it to say that it was a wonderful chapter and I think both of them made good points (I have to agree with Hermione on draco thinking he's better). And then... and.. then its a mistake. Does this mean she's not in love with him!?? *runs to next chapter*Author's Response: Thank you!! Report Review
Finally! And next time, poke me when you update. I know you only just updated today... all I have to say is you're just lucky I'm obsessive about checking my favorites page =P lol kidding.
I really loved this chapter. It was nice to see James back in the present times and reacting to what had happened. The fact that he felt so bad about not having any tears -- its so realistic. You did really well at writing that part and I loved the way he seemed almost resentful of the fact that he couldn't wake up in the hospital searching for Lily like he always does. The descriptions of his loss were fantastic. The black hole beside him in the bed. And I adore his assumptions that he would always be the one to go first -- I think its something that a lot of married couples go through. selfish? perhaps, but who wants to be left alone? The fact that James and Lily have held a conversation about this before is... sad... but real. It always seems like when you talk about it, it happens. I loved everything about that part (like I already said). Oh heck, I'm raving.
I loved Remus to death!!! Everything about him was perfect. It was so sweet of him to stay in the hospital room with James. Of course we all know why, but I loved how you explained it anyway (in his words of course) about losing everyone. That poor guy. The fact that he wasn't aware of Peter being the secret keeper was brilliant. For some reason, I assumed he already knew (which was so stupid of me because I know he didnt know)... I was wondering where Sirius was and then the second James said "you know about that?" when James brought up Peter, it all came flying back to me.
I'm an avid fan of the friendship between James and Sirius (I suppose thats obvious) so my favorite part by far was James's desperation to get Sirius out of there. I'm so looking forward to the next chapter, I want to see what happens with Sirius. Also, it was fantastic the way that the only thing that stopped James from rushing to Azkaban was when Remus brought up Harry. For all his doubts about his own parenting in the previous chapter, I think he'll turn out to be just fine at it.
Now... it makes me squirm to think that you have the next chapter ready and I cant see it yet. LOL but I know you probably want to wait like a week and give this one some exposure first... *sigh* don't make me wait too long. :)
Author's Response: LOL, I promise to poke when I add the next chapter and I do believe you'll enjoy it, I seem to remember you complaining about a lack of focus in general on the Sirius/James friendship ;)
I think that both Lily and James would have wnted to die for the other and for Harry. They did, in fact. But you're right - no one wants to be left alone and dealing with that loss by yourself.
Oh I went through every possible scenario for what had to happen to Sirius, Remus and Peter, what they knew, how it would all go down if the equation had been changed and there lie some pretty dark places ahead. James has been out for 3 days, I can assure you that Remus was not with James that whole time and that Sirius has dealt with his own hell. Not a happy time for anyone.
More James and Sirius ahead! They are my favourite friendship to write, there's such a bond there that it's always fun to get them together, I look forward to your opinions on that, I hope it meets your standards.
James is a good father, I think he feels a little lost now, but we've seen in previous chapters that he adores his son, no matter what and would do anything for him. It's not going to be easy being a single parent, but he'll be okay with Harry.
Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
A fun (and surprising) chapter! :)
Well, I've already told you (because I got the lovely sneak peak in a pm) but I was truly surprised that Lily and Severus were making out. The thought just makes me want to gag, but Lily apparantly is a strong girl. Wringing blood soaked handkerchiefs, kissing a greaseball...what's next? Despite the fact that I hate Severus, I do love the way you write his friendship with Lily. While I've always thought they'd be friends, I've never considered them to be BEST friends. You write it so believable.
James's jealousy was just perfect, the poor guy! I loved the confrontation. But even more than that, I liked afterwards when they were walking and James flung his arms out and accidentally hit somebody!! I was chuckling at that one!!!
And poor Remus, so awkward at the end! Sorry this review is so short. I found I didn't have much to say since my initial reaction is long gone after seeing most of the chapter a few days ago. Regardless, just know that its brilliant despite my few words :)Author's Response: Eek! Okay, I'm here! I've been writing like an insane person!! Okay, so, right. Crazy chapter. Blame the looney lounge and Elena for the plot bunny :P
I'm glad I'm making this believable, because I doubt it sometimes. Severus is so hard to write - especially in a romantic atmosphere. That should all change soon, though, or at least that's the plan. But I shouldn't have told you that. I'm just going to pretend I didn't say that. I agree - I always saw Lily and Sev as friends, but again, I couldn't help but force them to kiss. :D
Ah, James! I'm always worried when it comes to James. I'm never sure if I have him pegged, so THANK YOU for that - it means a lot!
No worries about the short review - I don't mind. Just the fact that you're reviewing at all means a lot. And thank you SO much... really, I appreciate it!! Report Review
Aw, how lovely. You sort of bring it around full circle. I was so happy that she actually did catch up with Harry again :)
I was really surprised that this opened up with the Weasleys. I loved Arthur though, he just seemed so sweet and bashful and poor guy, Molly's all over his back isn't she? LOL he tries to be so discreet when hiding his posessions from her and it never works. I enjoyed the quirks of the land they live on, making all of the charmed spaces slowly grow smaller and smaller. When he found the metal poles, I was really confused at first. I had aboslutely no idea what they were at all, but I certainly enjoyed the thoughts of the kids using the wooden gardening poles to beat each other :)
Molly was...awful!!! lol!!! I just wanted to slap the woman a couple times, she seemed so mean!!! That is who she is, though, and she's only lucky that poor Arthur is so passive! LOL honestly, he only asked if the poles were hers.. you did well with her, I think, and I am irritated at her character, not at the way you wrote her. Just to clarify that.
And then when Fred and George came down and said the poles were Harry's... thats when it all started to come together and I realized what they were. I think I liked it that way, too, and I think thats how you intended -- for us to not know until Arthur does. I loved Ron in this, even though his role was a small one. "I didn't do it!" LOL perfect. And then Mrs. Weasley really proved herself by going off to the school to confront somebody about it.
Leave it to you, Siren, to bring Snape in :) I did not like him. At all. But you did get his characterization brilliant, as you always do. I think you are officially the best Snape writer ever! I was a little confused as to what year this was at first. I mean, there was mention of the wedding at the beginning... but then Albus suddenly starts speaking... And only the second time he speaks do you mention its his portrait. Just a suggestion, you know you don't have to take it, but maybe you should say that its his portrait talking the first time he butts in. lol.
By far, my favorite part is with Miss Morrison. I find it touching that she continued to drive by every day just for a glimpse of Harry -- for years. And how perfect was it that she finally, seven years later, meets him again. I had to laugh at her driving antics though :) It was nice that Harry actually remembered her and that a few things were somewhat clarified for her.
Anyway, it was a lovely end to the one shot you started months ago. I really do enjoy your Miss Morrison character, she seems like a great lady. Again, I love how you ended it with her, just as it started in the first one shot. Good luck with it, I hope you are flooded with reviews :)Author's Response: I wanted this to be a bit different to the prequel, which is one reason why I picked Arthur's POV, of all the Weasleys, to write from. I've barely even mentioned him in fics before. Having written him now I kind of have the urge to do it again, as he has been great fun. As you said, he is so sweet and bashful, quite the opposite to his wife. And that is exactly the use wooden gardening poles were put to when I was young.
Aw, poor Molly. I quite like her myself, even if she is somewhat overbearing. I can see why you might have thought her mean, although that wasn't my intention. I just figured and planned her to be forthright and bossy. But if you don't like her character then I can see why you would view her that way. At least you think she is still in character. =)
It was my intention for it to all make sense at that point, to figure it out with Arthur and allow a bit of mystery before then, not only as to what they were, but also how it would fit in with what happened in the prequel. I wanted there to be a sudden switch in attitude, from the more lighthearted thoughts of Arthur to the realisation of what was truly happening. I am glad you liked Ron too, even if he only had a small part.
And how could you think I would leave Snape out? Who else could have worked in this way? The best Snape writer though? I am incredibly flattered, but I think I have read much better than mine. The wedding at the beginning was supposed to be the main emphasis on when it was. I know its not really canon with HBP, what with Snape being there and all (although, since I believe Snape to be innocent, it could be canon...even if it won't actually be). I didn't really make that much reference to Albus being a portrait though, although I did mention it when he first speaks, so I can hardly blame you for not picking up on it. I only pointed it out in passing.
The end was the main part of the fic, I guess, being the closing bit for the last one, which is odd given its the shorter part of it. I had Harry remember her as I figured there were so few people who were nice to him in his childhood, he would remember those who were.
I am so pleased to know you liked this. You know how much I always love your reviews =) Thank you for taking the time to leave me yet another one so long. Report Review
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