I randomly stumbled upon this little gem in Recently Added. What caught my attention was the title: Call To Arms. Maybe I'm naive, but it just sounds smart, you know?
As short as this was, and as cliche as the concept may be (don't get me wrong, not ALL Dramione is cliche, but I've just had a few too many bad experiences with it...), you executed this perfectly. Loved the pacing and characterization. You know when you start reading something and you can tell immediately if the author is a writer? That much is very clear here.
I loved every little bit of dialogue, but the last line was the best. I'm just curious: Is that really the end?!? It was so short, but like I said, perfect. I love that it's sort of an ambiguous ending. (I should come up with another word beside 'love,' shouldn't I? Although it is eerily befitting.) I see that besides saying Completed, it's also classified as a Short Story, so maybe that isn't the end, in which case I'll have to check back.
Anywho, thank you for posting this, and I hope you keep contributing gems like these to HPFF. It was a pleasure to read. :)Author's Response: I one hundred percent agree that the whole concept is extremely cliche - I've personally never been a Dramione fan purely for this reason, but for the quote I was given I thought Dramione was the only ship that would work to my advantage. I'm glad you like the title, I thought it was quite fitting. And no, there's one more chapter to come! It's currently in validation so I hope you check back to read it! I'm very pleased you enjoyed my story and cannot believe that you think I'm a good writer - I deleted all my stories because I thought my writing was just horrific and this is the first thing I've posted since then, so it's definitely a confidence booster.
Thank you for the review, it brightened my day.
Sophie. Report Review
So I just stumbled across this in Recently Added. I love the characters you've created here; even though we don't really get any back story or what's going on, I'm inexplicably pulled into the story and I immediately loved both characters.
This is definitely something I'd like to see more of, shame it's a one-shot! Anyway, great job, loved the simplicity of it, and I hope you continue to write lovely things like this! :)Author's Response: Oh, thank you! This is such an unexpected review, and it just warmed my heart.
I just started writing this after listening to the "Knight and Day" score, and then the fiction just sort of... wrote itself! Thank you so much for liking Rose. She's a little different (a lot different) than how I normally write her, but I'm glad you liked her!
Again, thank you! I greatly appreciate it. Report Review
GUBS! So I finally got around to reading this next chapter and I'm afraid it could be a while before I read the next one because I'm completely swamped with homework. BUT I can't just read it and not leave a review, can I? As you said, they're very tiring but so worth the effort, these mega-SAYS-fantastical-rambling-pinpoint-everything reviews. And if you scroll down you can probably see that I'm trying to outdo myself with a new record long review. :D Okay, wow, I don't even know where to start.
This chapter, I think, was a bit different from the others. It went at a bit of a slower (and almost maddening!) pace. Don't get me wrong, I'm just excited to see where this story is going and this chapter almost seemed like torture! It's definitely not filler - far from it - because so much happens even though it's not really plot-related. But I'll get to that in a minute.
I LOVE the beginning how you start out with Brian and Tabitha Jenkins - a very fitting and believable aspect to the story that lent itself wonderfully. It's really nice to see an outside perspective, someone else's take on the happenings of this story that kind of tightens the plot line and sort of summarizes it at the same time. If that makes sense. :P And then you utterly outdid yourself with diction that flowed seamlessly and eerily. My favorite lines: "The same lyrics drenched in toxic treacle, burnt sugar, light and airy and disturbing. The voice of ten years ago was too twisted to be saccharine." It creates such a vivid picture with subtle imagery and truly admirable syntax. LOVE. Oh and for some reason I am ridiculously fond of this line: "Somehow, Astoria stumbled through the remainder of spring, the entirety of summer, and autumn." Stumbled. It's just so EFFORTLESS. Not only is your vocabulary and grammar impeccable, but you just make it sound so easy and perfect! :))
Another lovely line full of delicious anaphora: "A little touched in the head, granted, but how could she be anything less, having been conceived by a madwoman, suckled by a madwoman, raised by that very same madwoman?" I'm pretty much loving your portrayal of Astoria and I'm just squeeing to see this story through to then end!!! And what I meant about it not being solely plot-based was that this chapter focuses very much so on Astoria's character and her struggles and how her mind works. A very interesting insight into her character, which might I add is completely essence of Gubby seeping out because Astoria is basically an OC. :))
I'm a big fan of your tone and mood and feel and whatever else there is to call it, but I felt that something was just a touch off in a few places. I know that you're sort of going for a fairytale feel and that's great, but the mix between passive and present especially in Astoria's case isn't completely seamless. I just felt like it lacked a proper transition. In most cases I would harp on about overusing passive verbs, but for this story, as I said, I think it's part of the fairytale feel. At least I think that's what you were going for?
So then there's Draco. Love your portrayal, obviously. He's seems so like himself and I feel like your writing is really effortless - something that's no easy feat to come by. And although HE seemed effortless, a few places that are difficult to pinpoint seemed a little forced as if you were merely drudging along for the sake of the story. But that's only in a few places. For the most part I can tell that you're enjoying writing and that's all that really matters in the end, isn't it?
As always, my criticism is minimal. I was hard pressed to find anything constructive because your use of the English language is just so... flawless and seamless and... pure? that you can pretty much ignore everything else I said and know that you're a fantastic writer. :D And don't you forget it!
ANDDD one last note before I bid thee adieu: the last line is absolute LOVE. But of course you know that. "How ironic it was, then, that in the dim light, his pure blood looked like mud." It's just... so eloquent and perfect and I've long since run out of adjectives to praise you with.
Can't WAIT to see where this will end up!
LOVE YOU GUBSTERS,
Chelsea Report Review
For some reason I love the fact that Draco takes peoples' money and goes to look for their loved ones. It just seems like such a fitting career move for him, and it of course boosts the Malfoy name. And for some reason I find it funny, and I'm actually almost giggling at my computer screen. Not quite, but almost... =P
As soon as Draco realized that it was Daphne at the door, I was like "OMG he's gonna be the one to rescue Astoria! Perfect fairy tale!" But then there's this little voice in the back of my mind that tells me this story won't have a happy ending. Maybe something sadistic or ironic... But I want a happy ending!!! After all, canon has Draco and Astoria together. ;)
So I'm still pretty thrilled with your writing and the whole atmosphere that you've created. It's just so... perfect! I feel really stupid right now because I can't think of any other adjectives to describe your story, and I can't even think of anything constructive to say. It's almost maddening. Almost. LOL
OH, and I also liked the fact that the Greengrasses were a topic of discussion, at least among the Slytherins. Just a random side note. :)))
LOVE YOU GUBSTERS!
P.S. I'm like majorly procrastinating right now... I would love to keep reading but icky school work is getting in the way. Trust me though, this makes WAY better reading material. =)Author's Response: I don't see the "agency" of sorts as a concrete career, as its purpose will be made unnecessary once the Ministry has been reorganized and has reasserted itself. Part of it is, of course, getting the Malfoys back in the good books, but I think Draco finds the purpose fitting. I can't figure out why that's funny, though, so I shan't ask :P
Draco and Astoria are... I don't want to give too much away, but yes, that is his function. Do keep in mind that this is ME we're talking about. I don't do happy endings. Mostly. I like "sadistic or ironic." It shall probably be a little bit of both.
I wasn't happy with this chapter, entirely. It was so different from the previous one, and it didn't entirely flow the way I'd like it to. But I'm happy you liked it and how it worked with the story as a whole. If you think you're feeling stupid, how do you think I feel right now? After all this time, reading these reviews, as the story gathers dust, I blush all the time and feel both stupid (for not responding soon enough) and humble (for getting this sort of review in the first place.) PLUS, I'm glad that you picked up on that! The community is not going to falter, even now. So... yeah. :D
PS. I hate school work. With a passion I can't begin to describe. This is a great way to relieve cabin fever. LOVE YOUUU. Report Review
So. I have been meaning to read this for AGES. Like literally. I first saw it in recently added forever ago and the summary was really intriguing, and then I saw who the author was, so I was like "I have to read that!" But I didn't, obviously. Because I'm mega lazy. =D So now I'm finally getting around to it because you've reviewed a bunch of my stories and not only do I feel that I owe you for your support but you're just such a nice person that I can't stay away any longer! Plus the whole premise of the story is very very intriguing, as I said.
On to the story then. First of all your character choice is interesting. I don't know that I would have that to use the Greengrasses when adapting a combination of tales to fan fiction. That in itself is creative and original and I think makes it all the more interesting and fun to read. I LOVELOVELOVE your style of writing and - there's no denying it, dear - you've got talent. You are SUCH a good writer and this story wreaks with fairy tale allure, which is awesome. I love fairy tales. And I also love fan fiction. And when you mix the two it's like a double batch of goodness. Plus your choice of vocabulary is SUPERB and adds to the atmosphere that you've created here.
So everyone knows the story of Snow White, and I can see where that plays in, but I'm sorry to say that I've never even heard of the other one. I'm assuming that it has to do with the mother... But anyway, I'm loving your execution here. The whole idea of fairy tales with a feel such as this one and then incorporated into the Potterverse is just awesome. It seems so plausible and it's like this genre should have been here all along (I'm getting a distinct Beetle vibe, I won't lie) and it really opens up a whole new facet of fan fiction. I remember reading one story about Godric Gryffindor (in Fantastic Staff, written by PropMaster I think it was) that had a really alluring fairy tale-ish feel to it, and Snow Red is already reminding me of it. In a good way. =P
But OMG poor Daphne and Astoria. What an awful life they must have led. I can't WAIT to see where this is going (and hopefully I'll get around to reviewing the rest of the chapters sooner vs. later) and I just can't tell you enough how well this was written and the whole atmosphere you've created. I really feel like this sort of story should have been here all along; it fits so well into the Potterverse and it suddenly makes me curious about all Purebloods.
I'll tell you again so you don't forget: fantastic writing, fantastic person all together. I haven't forgotten your tremendously helpful and endearing reviews at a time in my writing when I really needed it, so I hope you keep writing forever and always follow your heart. Cheesy, I know, but I want you to hear it. =)
LOVE YOU GUBSTERS!
ChelseaAuthor's Response: You know how lazy I am with reading/reviewing/responding, so you don't even have to apologize or explain anything. I'm just going to attempt to respond suitably to this mega awesome review.
I don't remember why I chose Astoria and Daphne for the fic. WAIT, nm, I do. I had entered a challenge on the forums that involved giving a quote + a ship. The quote I don't remember anymore, but the ship was Draco/Astoria. Clearly this evolved much farther than the challenge, but I am happy that it happened anyway.
The style is something I'm so, so happy with, especially this chapter. It's short and fairytale-y and it set the precedent for the rest of the fic. Mostly I was capturing the feel of The Lady of Shallott (if you still haven't read it, please go do so, it's beautiful and explains so much) but Snow White also fits stylistically. As it happens, the poem has nothing to do with Honoria. The mother's madness is something of my own doing, which should hopefully come to fruition before the end.
Awful indeed! I feel bad about it. I can hardly imagine what it must have been like, but then again, my imagination is wild to begin with. The purebloods are a curious group of people. They aren't all evil or crazy or whatever, but they definitely deserve higher scrutiny in fanfic. And it's nice to examine the lesser families, instead of the Blacks and Malfoys and such. There's so much complexity and possibility that comes with this era, right in the midst of the final battle, and with these characters.
You are way too sweet to me. It makes me so happy to have had your support and friendship for all these years, and it's amazing that you can enjoy something so much. You're truly a wonderful person and I'm so grateful that you actually reviewed this. LOVE YOU CHELSEAAA! Report Review
Haha, that was really cute! Their personalities go together so well, which makes this seem very plausible.
I love the descriptions at the beginning - painfully accurate of air travel! Some people aren't the best at writing conversations, I've found, but this one flows blissfully and I love how Percy just wants to keep her talking. An only too true feeling.
I'd love to see more with the Weasley's reactions and such, you should think about continuing this! As I said, very cute. :)Author's Response: Oh, thankyou so much, I'm glad you liked it. I was worried about making it seem plausible- as she is a little bit too funny and cheery for what we know of Percy, and I didnt want to go too out of charecter. I actually love flying so much, but only the views- I hate everything else.
If you like this, then you might like novel that this is an accompaniment to, which is about the Next-Gen of Weasleys and about Dudley's daughter at Hogwarts. Percy and Audrey are only slightly mentioned but it gave me the idea to write their story.
xxx Report Review
Hey! So I added this to my faves a really long time ago and when I was looking back at my list of fantastic stories, I realized that I hadn't reviewed this! Being a fellow SAYSer that just doesn't seem right. :P Upon re-reading this oneshot, words have failed me yet again, but I shall try my best.
The beginning is what really sets the mood. You have such a powerful use of vocabulary mixed with delicate phrasing, completely conveying an eerie atmosphere of warfare. I CANNOT get over it, you've earned yourself a new fangirl from the very first paragraph. I would point out the best sentences, but there are far too many.
It's amazing what a rabid plot bunny can do, isn't it? I haven't read that many fics exploring this pairing, but I simply love it. I don't even know what else to say on the matter. I've been known to get a bit irritated with certain characterizations of Hermione, but I think this one is great. She has the faintest trace of her old self, and then a completely new, broken and barely living self... It really adds to the tragedy of the war which is only too real. I actually believe that all of that stuff is happening and it isn't at all cliche like so many stories I've read.
And then there's Severus Snape. You've taken my favorite character and done wonders. He's the same old self - he's still got his personality - but he too has been affected by warfare. I really, truly believe everything he says and does, and it's just so perfect that I really can't think of a high enough compliment for the way you chose to write him. Every sentence of dialogue on his and Hermione's part is simply dripping with tragedy and absolutely flawless. It's quiet and heart-breaking and SQUEE all at the same time.
Going back to the beginning for a moment, I must add that however horrible it is, I loved the description of carnage. The looks in the eyes of the dead... how darkly poetic. And not in a cheesy way. It's so real and terrifying. Your description and feelings and dialogue and every bit of emotion that is clearly visible in this piece is so poignant and PERFECT that this could very well be my favorite story on the archive.
So if my babbling praise lacked sense, then what I'm trying to say is, you got mad skillz, yo. You got a keyboard and you know how to use it.
ChelseaAuthor's Response: So even years later it still sounds good? :D That's a wonderful thing in itself to hear because sometimes, older stories get "old" quickly and aren't as worth reading. I'm really glad that this story isn't one of them (it holds a special place for being so different from what I usually wrote at the time - especially the beginning, which is my favourite part of this).
Oooh yay! Both the characters are believable and in character, which doesn't happen enough in Snarmione, but I'm really glad that it worked out here. :D Hermione was the most interesting to write for this story because she was so broken. The war made her into a different person, and while traces of her remain, she's unrecognizable. Even Ron doesn't want to know her anymore.
Snape was probably the harder of the two. He needs to be written in a very particular way - sarcastic and dark, but with that something else that, in canon, became his everlasting love for Lily. I loved writing him more for the second Snarmione story I did ("Afterglow", which is from his perspective), but I'm so glad that, in this story, he turned out well. More than well, from the sound of that squee. :P
Thank you very much for this, Chelsea! It was a fantastic surprise to see this review and I really appreciate that you re-read the story and reviewed it. *wields keyboard* This guy and me aren't going anywhere just yet. But really, I need to write more Snape. ^_^
EDIT: whoa. I just read that this might be your favourite story, and I'm blown away by that. Wow! Thank you very much, it's a huge compliment and just WOW! *glomps* Report Review
In the movies, for some reason, Frodo and Sam's story seemed a little less interesting to me, especially with Faramir. With Harry though, naturally it'll be a bit different. The combination of two of the greatest stories really is one of a kind. I'm sure there are many, many crossovers out there, but this one truly has my full attention, curiosity, etc. I'm really looking forward to the coming chapters, and I hope you update soon!
Being the last posted chapter at the present, I have to comment on it in an over all sort of way. As I've said in most of the other reviews so far, this story is one of a kind, and your writing skills are fantastic. You've really captured the essence of Lord of the Rings, and the characterization for ALL the characters is pretty much dead on.
I'm really, REALLY looking forward to the rest of this story and I'm hoping it will all come very soon (or one more chapter, at the very least!). I'm anxious to see how far into the LotR story this story goes, and I'm even more anxious to find out what the key is to stopping Voldemort.
I love this story, and please update! You've supplied me with some great reading for the past few days. :) Report Review
As I mentioned before, the story line of Hermione, Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas is my favorite so far. I don't know why exactly. So naturally, this was a great chapter!
I really, really liked the part where she banished Saruman from Theoden. I probably wouldn't have thought of the Imperius Curse and that was really clever. Out of curiosity, what does "Animus Cedum" mean?
Now, you titled this chapter "Sisterly Bonds." So of course I have to comment on the growing relationship between Eowyn and Hermione. Being human, I suppose Eowyn actually looks her age. Do you know how old she's supposed to be in the books? I really do like the relationship though. Hermione and Eowyn seem a lot alike and make good "sisters." :) Report Review
I really felt sorry for Sam in the movies. He was alone against Gollum, as you well know. I'm really glad he and Harry are on the same page though. :) Speaking of Gollum, I don't remember that little song he was singing in the beginning of the chapter. If you made it up, well then good job.
All the little details, description, everything is great! I know I'd say the same for every chapter, but it just seemed especially good in this one. 9/10 Report Review
Ah, and it looks as though here's where you really deviate from the movie, which is a good thing, I think; not that I'd find it boring, but for anyone who's a total LotR nut, this makes for a pleasant and unexpected surprise, I suppose you'd call it. You know? For some reason I feel like for such a long sentence, it didn't make sense. Ah well.
The only thing I'd change is the portrayal of Saruman. You've got it down that he's evil and twisted, but I think it requires a bit more to really do the character justice. I don't know exactly how, but he needs to be just a bit more evil. Report Review
Out of the three separate story lines, I think this is my favorite (but it's a really close call). As I said with Ron and the Hobbits, Hermione seems to really fit in well with Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas. I'm curious though, is Gandalf coming back? 9/10, as always. :) Report Review
Ron seems to fit in with the Hobbits, doesn't he? :P I don't think I have to tell you that I liked this chapter, because I like all the chapters...
My only complaint for this chapter is this: in the books, I think the Uruks and Orcs were a bit more stupid. If my memory is correct, I believe they even killed each other besides just the once. But's that hardly counts as a complaint. I really loved the chapter. :) Report Review
I really liked that this was both so like the movie and yet it had its own twist, in a way. The part with the staff was a little confusing but I liked that it had a somewhat big part in the chapter.
It seemed like the story didn't progress a whole lot, but I know there's a lot to fit in. There was a great mix of description and everything else as usual, so it's still 9/10. :) Report Review
The whole aspect with Ron desiring the Ring is really creepy and well written at the same time. I think Hermione would have sided with Harry though. The "confrontation" with Ron and Hermione -- that was both sad and sweet. I can't imagine it any other way though, even in Deathly Hallows (which we'll all soon read and find out, anyway).
Again I have to comment on your action scenes. It's as simple as this: masterfully written. I loved this chapter. Report Review
Ooh, I'm curious to see what kind of prowess the staff possesses. Very mysterious. Also, I'm glad to see that you're adding some more original spins on this tale.
I really like the way you portrayed Galadriel and everyone else in this chapter. My only complaint is that the chapter wasn't longer. :P Report Review
For some reason -- one that I don't think I could ever fully explain -- Moria was one of my favorite parts of the first movie. The atmosphere was just so unlike anything I'd seen or read before, which makes it so unforgettable. You've done a great job with it though, and you even put your own mark on it in a way. I may have spread it out over another chapter, but it's still very good. Seeing as how you're fitting presumably all three books/movies into this one story, I can see why you didn't drag it out to the point of monotony as I probably would have done. :P
A lot of people seem incapable of writing good action scenes, but this whole chapter was great! Again, I may have dragged it out just a little longer, but that still doesn't really count as constructive, does it? :) Report Review
As I said in my first review, I read this all a couple days ago so I'm just skimming it to remind myself. I can't believe I forgot to comment on the sword fighting in the last chapter though (and the chapter was even called Preparations!). I really, really enjoyed it. The detail you put into the story is what makes it so unique and so right. You know what I mean? It just really fits into the LotR world.
So in this chapter, I have to comment on the whole Legolas/Hermione thing. Cute! It's so fun to see a jealous Ron. *evil grin*
"Who are you?" the Man softly asked, eyes traveling from Harry's face to the wand held aloft in his right hand. Talk about chilling moment! I can never stop raving about this story, can I? I'm really having a hard time trying to think of something constructive to say! Report Review
The trio's banter is so fun to read! It reminds me of the books. Oh, and Ron and Hermione together is so cute!
The only other thing I can think of right now is the infuriating connection that is Frodo and Harry. Infuriating is a good thing (it's basically just piqued curiosity). :) Report Review
Ah, poor Hermione. I'm glad you've acknowledged the huge difference between whatever time Middle Earth supposedly existed and the present. If I were writing this story (mind you, it wouldn't be half as good), I probably wouldn't have thought about gender prejudices.
I'm also really glad that you haven't been rushing the plot. So far it's gone at a steady, enjoyable pace, the likes of which we can find in the LotR books. Only, I think those were a bit slower...
I really love the dialogue in this chapter. What with so many characters and lots of info to pack in, you've done an excellent job. The only thing that surprised me a bit was why Ron wasn't allowed in the meeting when Harry was. Another 9/10 though. :) Report Review
In coming chapters I fear I won't have a whole lot to say. But I did come up with a few things.
1) The likeness between Dumbledore and Gandalf is very mysterious and I'm beginning to wonder if there's more to Dumbledore... Does he perhaps have anything to do with the Istari? (Forgive my total lack of knowledge when it comes to anything not mentioned in the movies... It's been over five years since I read the books.)
2) So, I have to mention again the strange connection between Harry and Frodo. I sort of hope this doesn't have anything to do with reincarnation, but then again I don't want to sway the outcome of the story if it hasn't already been written and/or decided. Come to think of it, that could also be the case with my point above about the wizened wizards. I guess that goes to show that HP and LotR really do have a lot of similarities, doesn't it? For one, the containing of the soul in an inanimate object...
3) I can't get over how well you've mixed these seemingly separate universes. We have the trio, for one, who are all perfectly portrayed, and then the amazing atmosphere that represents LotR. Kudos to you for being able to write in a somewhat Tolkien-ish fashion. :) Report Review
Okay, I have to rave again! Your talent for keeping everyone in character is uncanny. I love it.
I think it was really clever to incorporate Ancient Runes as a means of translation. Also, your apparently vast knowledge of the world Tolkien created is VERY impressive.
I'm not sure how necessary it is to have scenes from the movie that are unchanged by the trio, because I think it's pretty much fans of both HP and LotR who are reading this. But it doesn't really matter, I just feel weird not having anything bad to say. :P Report Review
As always, great chapter. You're probably going to get tired of my compliments pretty quick, what with me not having anything constructive to say. :D
As I said before (I think it was in the last review -- I've already forgotten), I think there would be a few more differences what with the presence of three more people. I guess what I'm sort of missing is how Ron, Harry and Hermione change certain conversations, you know? Then again, I'm not sure how much other readers would come to appreciate that if they didn't know every line from the movie like me!
I've always thought Dementors and Nazgul were a lot alike, which made that last bit of the chapter all the more interesting. I'm very curious to see how the whole magic thing plays out in later chapters. :) Report Review
What I really love about your style of writing is the mix of dialogue, description, thoughts and all the rest of that good stuff. Too much of any one of those isn't fun to read, but you seem to have a really good handle on it.
Several times already I've been reading and suddenly go, "Eek! I recognize that line!" What with the meddling in time and whatnot, I think there might be a few more differences in the way time unravels -- if that makes any sense -- but it's great nevertheless.
I love the eerie connection between Frodo and Harry, but more of that in coming reviews... ;) Report Review
Another great chapter. :) I have to admit, it was pretty ingenious of Voldemort to think of such a simple yet effective plan for getting rid of the trio. I can't believe I never thought of that! But surely he knew to what time he was sending them? (Sorry, as I mentioned in my last review, I've read ahead. *guilty grin*)
I would never have thought about what used to exist before Hogwarts. Being a thousand years ago... It's just mind boggling so I usually don't even think about it. Being a LotR fanatic myself, I have to say, this story is like a dream come true. 9/10 Report Review
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