Reading Reviews From Member: bittersweetflames
  
254 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bittersweetflamesThe Lark and the Nightingale: Chiara Nightingale

27th August 2015:
Hi, Chiara!! I'm finally here for our very late swap. XD Sorry for that. :O Anyway, let's talk about this chapter... It's very strong!! I really love the part where you took Romeo and Juliet and made it real life and made the protagonists a wizard and witch! :) That's a really interesting take.. :) So I enjoyed reading in Italian.. I don't speak it but it added a flavor to the entire chapter that really made the scene work..
Okay, so I love the way you introduced the fact that Romeo was a werewolf... (to be honest, I didn't read the summary so I went into this not really know what it was all about. hahahaha) But, yes, I am really intrigued by what was done to Lucy/Lucia. :)
Now onto Chiara... She seems like a really interesting OC so far... I am an idiot because I didn't really know this was a Marauders era fic before I read it so I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that Chiara was Lily's friend.. hehe
But, anyway, Alice is adorable and I want to squish her.. It just really makes me sad to note that she and Frank are just so happy here and, well, I don't like thinking of what will happen to them moving forward.
So, yes, great first chapter! Can't wait to read more. :D

Author's Response: Hey, Carla!!!
No worries about the lateness, I'm just happy to see you here!!!

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this first chapter! :)
It's great to know that you liked Romeo and Juliet! And the Italian too, because I was really unsure about it, but everyone seems to have appreciated that choice!
Romeo being a werewolf will have an important role in the plot, but I can't spoiler anything...

I'm very happy yyou're liking Chiara so far! Well, I have a problem... I love Marauders... Like Siriusly adore them!!! They are my favourites to read and write! :) And don't worry too much about skipping the summary... I do that too at times! ;)

A lot of people seemed to like Alice!!! :)
Oh, I know... She and Frank have such a horrible fate ahead of them... I totally share your feelings here!

I'm just so happy that I had you intrigued, and I seriously hope that I'll see you around here again and that you'll keep enjoying the story!!!

Thank you for the swap and the amazing review!!!
Many hugs and much love!
Chiara


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Review #2, by bittersweetflamesConstant Vigilance: Nymphadora

26th August 2015:
Anja! :D Here for our swap. Sorry I am so so late.:( I really really enjoyed this one-shot. :) It's not very long but what WAS there was really wonderful and fabulous. :)
Your Nymphadora really has a great voice...She's believable and I can really imagine this was what she was like when she was a new Auror - that uncertainty; that fear. I love how you put in that little bit about Charlie (that WAS Charlie, right? I would feel so stupid if it wasn't Charlie. haha) You know me, I am a Charlie fan. :D So, okay, it also really comes across that Tonks is a strong witch but very very green. :) And that's really good 'cos I imagine that people, no matter how talented, flounder when they do something new when they're not used to doing it yet.
It made me really look and see my situation where I am new at something and while I am playing my strengths I need to do things that I don't particularly enjoy nor am I very good at. :) That's so real life, I loved it! :D
The bit of romance with Moody was unexpected and lovely! I really enjoyed it... I can really see this pairing and as this is the very first that I've read it was a really lovely introduction to this ship and I begin questioning why it is the first time I've read it because it actually really really works. :)
So, yes, I enjoyed this so much and lovely work as always! Thank you very much for the swap, darling. :) Will recommend, for sure. :)

--Carla

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Review #3, by bittersweetflamesSweetheart Tom: A Single Red Apple

24th August 2015:
Laura! Sorry it's late but here for our swap (and the BvB fest too!). :O I am a horrid person, sorry sorry sorry!

Anyway, I was really excited to see that you had updated this story... I did a little chair dance when I did.. So I just HAD to dive right in.

Okay, okay so let's talk about how strong a start this was. I absolutely loved the way you adapted Snow White with the mirror and the apples. And is that Blaise? Oooh, Blaise. I so excited to see how you are going to develop this character. His voice, it's very intriguing and, I don't know, a little creepy and disturbing. You really wrote him well. :)

Then we went back to Fleur and Bill! Yay for Fleur and Bill! Fleur is just so strong a character and she really has her own mind. I can just imagine dashing and charming Bill trying to charm her but she's not having it.

The scene where they are walking in the same direction after having bid goodbye to one another is just HILARIOUS. I mean, really, it happens in real life and it's the most awkward thing ever and I can just imagine that for Fleur, who isn't really too impressed by Bill, it's a bit annoying and, yes, strange.

When she came upon her grandmere's house and it was abandoned I was just as worried as Fleur (and a little intrigued...) What happened to her grandmother? What's going to happen to her now.

At the village, those men that came up to her demanding payment really had me going huh?? (not a bad huh? just a huh. lols) So, yes, who are these men and what are they talking about (unless I missed something. I prolly just missed something.XD XD)

So, yes, that ending. WOW. So powerful. To be honest, I was still a bit confused but I think you're really strong at that sort of writing. :D The sort that really leaves a lot of questions at the end, which makes your readers want to read the next chapter or, lacking one, go mad asking you to update your story..

Anyway, thanks again for the swap!! :D Always a pleasure swapping with you. :)

(And, ah, yes, Blaise really really IS a disturbing person. -shudders-)

--Carla

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Review #4, by bittersweetflamesThe Pub: Stumble

11th August 2015:
Hi, Kaitlin! -frolics-

First off, I am so suuuper sorry it took me ages to get to this review! I'd meant to do it last night but I fell asleep. Meh, bad Carla.
Anyway, I decided to read this story because I was so interested in reading how you did this challenge. I think it's one of the hardest challenges I've seen in the forums lately!

So, ok, let's talk about Hannah! While Hannah hasn't really been a major character books I do think that she's an important one. :) I really love the way you characterise her. She's positive and brave and hardworking...Just as you would expect a Hufflepuff who has gone through the same war Harry has to turn out to be. (I am losing my grammar here but I'm hoping you get what I mean. haha)

Ok, so you mentioned you didn't really do humour very well but I think you hit the nail on the head in this chapter! I especially like the pygmy puff look with foam from the butterbeer... That was precious.. I mean, I could just imagine it and it was hilarious (which is really quite 0.o because I am at work and I should not be laughing to myself quite so hard. They'd think I was insane and I want to make a good impression; at least these first few months. haahahaha)

So, yes, the whole Pub thing with Hannah and Jenna really works well and I can't wait to know what happens next. :)

-- Carla

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Review #5, by bittersweetflamesMuddied Lines: She Begins

10th August 2015:
Your twinbaelampoobear here to review you!!!

Anyway, I am suuper proud of you for this story because I know the pains and annoyances that it's given you... :D I really love the way you've written Rose and how she's so different from how Rose is usually written. :D (and the fact that she's a brunette is genius!)

I love how I know of the history behind this (ehem, inside info ehem.) Anyway, yes.. I love you and this story and even though there are times I want to kick Rose and punch Scorpius I will forever love Vera and Albus, who make me happy everytime I read them.

love you lots..
onto the next chapter!

--Carla aka Carlanoodlepootwinbaelampsweetiepiepumpkin

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Review #6, by bittersweetflamesKaleidoscope Love: Oh Comely

25th July 2015:
Joey! :D Can we talk about how beautiful this fic is?:) This is my first time reading Anthony/Ernie and I am all in awe... How did I not know they existed before? They are so perfect. ;)

Anyway, as you've probably guessed, I am here to review for the Logophile Challenge. I feel awful; it took so so so long.. But I am here anyway! :)

So, yes, let's talk about this fic. Your writing is, as always, perfect. I love the way you wrote Anthony's thoughts. There's something so innately relatable about him that I really enjoyed.

Let's talk about the word! You got kaleidoscope, which is a word that gives me such feelings inside... You can say, happy memories and the way you've tied it in to this fic is really nice. :) I love that it would talk about a full and abundant life between these two. ^_^

One thing I thought I should mention is that while this is a beautiful one-shot I am just greedy so think it would have been a beautiful short story all in all. But that's just me and my basic greediness for your beautiful writing. :)

--Carla

P.S. Btw, you used the word 'logophile' in this! BONUS POINTS!! HAHAHA

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Review #7, by bittersweetflameslay me down: i. can I lay by your side?

25th July 2015:
Jess, you evil, cruel person... I love you, I really do but you broke my heart and that's just NOT FAIR.. -moans-
WHY? WHY? WHY? Why did you convince me of Seamus/Dean? (Because you really did. So well, in fact, that I started to ship them so hard in my brain) then I realised that, wait, they've been properly sunk in this fic.. SO. THERE I WAS, a puddle of feels on the floor and it's all because of you. So, yes, you are a cruel, evil person.

Obviously, you already know that, while uber late, I am here reviewing this for the Logophile challenge and so, up next, I would like to talk about lachrymose...
I love this word. Mostly, I love saying it; it's just feels delicious on my tongue, if you know what I mean. That and it reminds me of 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' by Lemony Snickets. Haha. But, I do digress.

So, yes, the word. :) I felt that you did it justice.. :D Mostly, towards the end, when Seamus is lying in the grass and watching the sky next to Luna (LUNA!! I'll get to her later!) So, yes, there he is so morose and you talk about his process of healing in the year since Dean's death and I really felt you brought home the meaning of the word for me. ;) I am so glad (but, you know, in a heartbroken sort of way) that you wrote this coming from my challenge. :)

Okay, Luna. I LOVE LUNA. She is just one of those characters who's so easy to get wrong but, dude, you really got her right. I loved how she's like silk... so cool and comfortable, wrapping around you without suffocating you. That's how she read to me in this fic and that's also how she read to me in the books. She was, probably, my favorite part in this one-shot if only because she didn't make me cry. -glares-

So, yeah, sorry for the uber long wait but thank you for writing this story for my challenge! I really loved it. :)


--Carla

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Review #8, by bittersweetflamesAesthetic Alterations: Library Aesthetic

25th July 2015:
Hiya, Mallory!! I am the latest of the late but I am finally here with my review for this from my and Meena's challenge. :)

-squeal- I don't really read a lot of AU's because some of them just don't read true at all but holy hell this one was just perfect!

First, let's talk about that word. You got aesthetic, which is one of my favorites from that list (which were already all my favorites. haha) So, yes, I love the way you used it because the usage was just on point!

I really got the point you tried to get across between James and Lily and I enjoyed how you wrote about their interaction and how they get together. I was just the most adorable thing ever and I really think I was awww-ing the whole way through. haha. :)

Lily really fit as a librarian and her aesthetic as the quintessential librarian. :) James also really fit as the cop in training with his confidence and, of course, the messy hair.

So, yeah, I hope you know that I really really enjoyed this one; it wasn't a monster at all (in that, any shorter and I feel it wouldn't be have quite as strong an impact). I'm just so happy that my challenge produced something this beautiful. :)

--Carla

Author's Response: Hi Carla!

Don't even apologize for being late on reviewing--your review was a very nice surprise!!

Thank you! As you might know, AUs are my jam--modern Muggle Jily ones, at least. I'm so happy that you liked it!

Aesthetic is a word that always makes me laugh because of Tumblr. I had to do a play on all those aesthetic posts that you find on that website, it was just irresistible!

Aww, thanks! James and Lily always interact cutely in my AUs, I can't imagine why! But fluff is not one of my strongest things, so I'm glad that it came across here!

Lily is definitely a librarian type. Such aesthetic, very wow. I sometimes roll my eyes at her because of her need to have everything be "just so," but she's one of my favorites, honestly. James is totes adorbs in any universe, and so I wanted to have a totes adorbs James in this universe. He's such a cop, but with his friends' best interests at heart.

Any shorter, and I would've been leaving out parts of the story! Haha, I was a little nervous about the length, but I think it couldn't have worked any other way. Aww, that is too nice, and thank you so much for hosting such a great challenge!

♥Mallory


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Review #9, by bittersweetflamesThe Lucky One: Madness

23rd July 2015:
Hiya, Kaitlin! I swear, I just blink and there are 5 new stories in your AP. It's a sight to behold!

So, I had to choose this story because I see no one has reviewed it yet AND because I just LOVE Luna.. And you really managed to paint a picture of her that's interesting and different from how she is normally written but this really works. Yes, she does sound different but it's within that realm of reality... Since you did such a good job of explaining why and how she came to be that way, I really believed it was Luna.. And it really made me sad...

Although there's been some evidence on Pottermore that Harry and the rest of them are hounded even after YEARS since the war ended, I try to imagine that it doesn't affect them much... But you showed the really harsh side to fame and in a way that really makes you sympathize with people that, normally, we admire and are jealous of.

The interaction with the girl at Madam Malkin's was really brilliantly written as well! The contrast with how the girl seems to really like and idolise Luna and her less than enthusiastic reaction is a good way of showing us how much she's been through that even such a small thing is irritating to her. In the same interaction, you manage to show how the paps/tabloids really do tend to twist words in order to make them more scandalous/sensational when you mentioned Neville and Luna's terrifying ordeal!

All in all, I really thing you did this TSwift song (which I love, btw) justice and I really enjoyed this one shot. :) I find myself really rooting for Luna and hoping she can find peace and solitude one day.. Mhmmm.. Hey, maybe this is why she went off around the world to become a naturalist/magizoologist? Could totally work. :)

Thanks for the swap, hunny! :)

--Carla

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Review #10, by bittersweetflamesBeyond Repair: Don't Let Go

21st July 2015:
Hiya, Renee. :D

BACK FOR MORE. Bahahahaha. Okay, so moving forward in the journey of Petunia and Lily as children.. Which I really enjoyed, by the way. I love that you show a time when Petunia and Lily were friends; when nothing was between them but the love that they felt from being friends; from being sisters.
I love the tone and voice you use when writing children... It really comes across that they're children and, also, what approximate age they were. Like, Petunia still sounded childlike but she was definitely more mature than Lily. :)
Anyway, I really enjoyed the end...Lily just bounces back from nearly being in an accident but she acts, for all the world, like a carefree little girl.. Some part of me is really saddened by everything here because we know they're not going to keep this close relationship as they grow older and Lily is revealed to be a witch.:( And, yeah, I mean it's obvious they love each other... Just, maybe, Lily became too different and difficult to love. :( BUT!! That's a sadness for another day because, right now, this story was just sweet and adorable and I really loved it! :)

--Carla

Author's Response: Aww, you kept reading :D :D :D Thank you!!
You are a review swap over achiever!

I love writing children. It means a lot that you think it comes across well. I hadn't though of Lily becoming difficult to love. I think that's an excellent way of putting it! I will definitely kept that in mind for future chapters.

You are exactly right about this being a bittersweet story, because we know it doesn't last. :(

Thanks again for your super sweet reviews!
~ Renee


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Review #11, by bittersweetflamesBeyond Repair: Daddy's Little Flowers

21st July 2015:
Hiya, Renee. :D

Carla here for our swap and I am sorry it's very nearly a day late. :O Anyway, let's move on from the fact that I've been so late and allow me to comment on this chapter.
I've not really read a lot of fics that feature Petunia and, more specifically, Petunia before she hate Lily and you paint such a picture of that time here. I think you managed to really make Petunia's feelings, as the older sister, of being left out and unloved really come through. See, I'm the youngest but I have two older brothers and they were a little rough towards me at times because I was the baby of the family and they resented that. So, okay, you managed to make me see how that felt even though I could not directly relate to it.
So, yeah, I really enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next... :D

--Carla

Author's Response: Hi Carla!
This is a strange little chapter, really, but I had a lot of fun writing it. I'm so glad you enjoyed it :D
I'm actually the baby in my family too - including all of my cousins - so I know what you mean about that! haha

Thanks so much for your review, dear!
Renee


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Review #12, by bittersweetflamesUpon the Edge: Upon the Edge

20th July 2015:
Hiya, Laura.:) Here for our swap!! Do you know how HAPPY I am that you have written something? :) I was all. OMG OMG OMG Laura when I saw that you posted for a swap since I am a HUGE fan of your writing and I was just happy to get an opportunity to read something of yours again! Anyway, this fic.. Normally I'd want to just say WOW here about twenty times but that's not really a profound way of writing a review, is it?
Yes, well, let's talk about them characters. I love that this was a friendship (or not even quite a friendship, really, when you think about it) between Sirius and Lily.

There's something that was brilliant and awkward about their interaction that I really enjoyed. Yes, it was obvious that they weren't friendly with one another and that's where the awkwardness would stem from but you also wrote it in a way that made it seem like, at that moment, nothing else could have happened for thinngs to have ended in a more satisfactory manner. That's the beauty of your writing! Yes, your master of the language and the descriptions of the surroundings and the atmosphere are masterful; really, I don't expect anything else from you. But what I meant was the scenario you crafted was just so perfect I would believe that it really DID happen!

I'm hoping that this would lead to them getting more friendly in the future but even if they don't, well, at least they'll have this moment and it's definitely something for them to value. :)

Again, thanks for the swap, honey lamb.

--Carla

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Review #13, by bittersweetflames"Love you Teddy": "Love you too Lil"

20th July 2015:
OMG. I feel so emotional right now. This was so beautiful and full of feels and I loved it so very much.. :D I actually very nearly cried and I am not ashamed to admit it. After all, I am at home so it's okay... But even if I had been with people I didn't know, I would have still been willing to feel the emotions in this fic... There's just something so warm and amazing about Teddy... He's really the 'big brother' and I can just imagine the comfort and love he has down PAT (imagine, really, all the young people who probably went to Teddy for help and it's not such a big surprise. ahahaha). Anyway, I love the warm feelings of family pride and love that I got from this fic. It made me remember my own family and how I totally and completely trust them and how I would not survive if I lost any of them. You really managed to get that through which is why.. OMG FEELS. SO MANY FEELS. Thank you for sharing.

--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Hello Carla!

Oh MY goodness! I can't believe something that I'VE written has caused this much emotion in someone! I literally cannot believe it!

You've captured everything I wanted you (and all my other readers) to feel, everything I wanted you take away from this! I'm so so happy right now!

I know what you mean, my family are the most important people to me, I'm not sure what I'd do without any of them. I really don't.

No, thank you for leaving such a wonderful review! You've made my day!

ScoroseOTP
Emz xxx


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Review #14, by bittersweetflamesSunflower: Sunflower

20th July 2015:
Yay Luna! I'm totally not biased as a Ravenclaw but she is one of my most favorite characters in the Hogwarts Era EVER! And ok, the narrator seems to love Luna even more than I do and I really love the way she sees Luna.. You know that Ms. Lovegood isn't what you would call a popular person because she's so very eccentric but that's the best thing I love about her. I wish, so much, that I could be like her but being a free spirit is so very hard and I really admire her for it! Anyway, I love your use of sunflowers. The way you call how to be a person is all about turning to the sun and bending to its will but always snapping back up... There's something so lovely and poetic about that.. I really enjoyed it.. :)
I wish, though, that I knew more things about this OC. If only to figure out what happened to her in the future. :)

--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

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Review #15, by bittersweetflamesAt The Lake: At The Lake

20th July 2015:
Hi, Sam! Back for more of your stories! How could I not? You are a spectacular author and I really enjoy your writing. :D First off, let us talk about the effectivity of your storytelling. You took this story and used two such PERFECT timelines and they were meshed so perfectly that I actually never realised that they were two different timelines. But, ok, ok... I wonder how you actually decided on doing Gabrielle and Daphne because now that I've read them of course I ship them! There's something so mystically beautiful and lovely between these two that I find myself really rooting for the two of them together. The ending, in particular, was my most favorite part! The part where Gabrielle, as a child, says that her sister left her at the bottom of the lake and how when they're making vows, Daphne promises never to leave her? HOW EFFECTIVE IS THAT? So very crazily effective! I love love love it! Well done, like all your other pieces. -is fangirling-


--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

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Review #16, by bittersweetflamesJust Another Night: Just Another Night

20th July 2015:
ERICA! YAS. More opportunities to read and review your stories. -evil laughter- Ah, okay, not really evil. lols. I really love the way you wrote Harry in this.. it's so very interesting that you would choose this moment in his life... The jealous is so very Harry... I can't imagine how it was for him to suddenly have these serious feelings for Ginny and then seeing someone who was a friend to him claim her before he could. It must have been excruciating. And even with all the problems he was going through, what with Voldemort and his Death Eaters and all, he IS still a teenager so it's normal that he'd go through all these conflicting feelings. The ending was just peculiarly bittersweet and I enjoyed it mostly because I know that Harry does end up with Ginny and I can't really be too sorry for him. ahaha. :) Well done, as always!
(BTW, I really enjoyed the small mention of Ron and Hermione that you put in.. It really does add a whole other dimension to the fic!)

--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

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Review #17, by bittersweetflamesLegos: Legos

20th July 2015:
This SHIP. It's one of my favorite of the rarer pairings. First, because in complete vanity I think these two look good together. I wonder how Tobian looks (fantastic, I bet. Anyway, moving on...) The way you started this story was just WOW. It was so intense and I was seriously questioning whether I've actually misread the genre you put up as fluffy/humor so, of course, I had to read on. AND I DID and I started laughing. Laughing so hard because, WOW, Draco was just so funny.. Poor guy. I've not really stepped on legos but I've stepped on various toys and small parts and know the excruciating pain that comes when they are just in THAT CORRECT SPOT to provide maximum torture.. haha. Anyway, I really enjoyed this short little, fluffy one shot because it made me laugh and it was written so brilliantly and it's a ship that really works for this. (The flitterberry bugs? Who else but Luna? So perfect.) Well, ok, thank you for making smile.. I really needed it after being stuck in traffic for two awful hours.


--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

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Review #18, by bittersweetflamesExit Wounds: Exit Wounds

20th July 2015:
It's The Script! It's The Script! I am bouncing excitedly in my seat because I love The Script and I love this song and wah. Okay, moving on. WOW. Just wow. This was intense. I actually felt myself being transported into his (her?) head and it was a really heavy place to be. There was so much power and emotion that you managed to put into just these few words and I feel that they are all the more effective because it IS so short. The blur of white and grey sounds and feels really painful and while I feel a little bit of confusion at it, I just want you to know that there is something so effective in this fic and completely unforgettable. I want to know who it is you describe but I think the fact that it's open to whosoever's interpretation of it, is actually more effective in the long run because people can see what they want to see and interpret it as they choose to interpret it and well done!

--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

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Review #19, by bittersweetflamesA Sealed Fate: A Sealed Fate

20th July 2015:
Hi, Lotte!!:D You know, it's such a sad thing that I haven't really read a lot of your stories. First, you have a really nice writing style and even though this is in the second person (and I'm really not a fan of second person) I thoroughly enjoyed this one. I really think it's interesting how you brought us through a journey of an Unspeakable's mind. After all, there's something that's so mysterious and wondrous about that profession.. Like the level that I watch spy movies and think to myself. WOW. HOW MUST IT BE TO BE A SPY? I feel the same way when we're talking Unspeakable. Anyway, ok, that moment when he was struggling against the Imperius was really powerful because it was so clear that the Imperius was not an easy spell to get over BUT it was also clear that he wanted to break free of it and saw you found yourself fighting along with him... But, ok, towards the end... It was so painful when he died even though I expected it... Anytime someone dies is so painful but the way you wrote him and his thoughts, there was something so deeply hard and heavy about it. Write more, lovely! :)


--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

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Review #20, by bittersweetflamesWhen I Go Out With You: Don't Call Me, I'll Call You

20th July 2015:
SAM. Final chapter for now... Again, cue the really really sad tears. I really enjoyed this story!! It made me forget that I was stuck in traffic for two really painful hours. Anyway, moving on to the important things... I love this chapter. (THEN AGAIN, I LOVE ALL SUSAN CHAPTERS BECAUSE SUSAN IS IN IT, I think I'm in love and I am not ashamed to admit it.) I love how they use the word 'may' because to me that feels like a word with so much potential. And also, the fact that there isn't a concrete promise to it? It's the sort of thing that I feel Hannah really needs right now in order to become a stronger individual with more self-esteem. Anyway, yes, the emotion in this one was so beautiful... I was swept along with the tide of it much like Hannah was.. I can really see that's there's so much more potential for her in her future for her to become more than just Ernie's other half. She is definitely well shed of him and I'm happy for her. I don't know what the next chapter will show BUT I cannot wait for it! :D

--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

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Review #21, by bittersweetflamesWhen I Go Out With You: Off and Running

20th July 2015:
I love how this starts off for Hannah like you did it. How she's still contemplating whether or not she'd still be giving him a chance. Like, it's more realistic that way because sometimes no matter what a person does and how angry we are at them, it's really not THAT easy to shed the love. And her confusion and her doubts are really what make her human so well done on that. I can feel her sadness that the innocent, naive Hannah is gone and in place is the hurt and disillusioned one. Yes, she was basically living parts of a lie but, yes, she was also happy in it. OF COURSE, you wrote THE END. And I was all. OH NO HE DIDN'T (again. because while I don't really HATE Ernie, I want to hurt him really bad for being such a useless, insensitive prat!) Ahhh. Ok, I am glad that Hannah found the courage to leave him and to be able to decide ON HER OWN (which is the most important thing, I think) that leaving him is the best thing for her. :) Can't wait for the last chapter.. But I can't help but feel very very sad because this story is about to end (for now, anyway!)... ;( -- that's me, crying bittersweet tears..

--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

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Review #22, by bittersweetflamesWhen I Go Out With You: I'm Coolin', No Foolin'

20th July 2015:
Hahahaha. Obviously, I am back. You know, if I didn't love Susan at the start of this it is without a doubt that I will end the fic loving her. She is just.. There's a sort of innate coolness and self-awareness in her that really draws me. I can imagine that it draws Hannah as well. I can certainly understand Hannah's feelings at the moment.. I was thinking the same thing!! I was so mad at Ernie for what he did (has been doing). THE NERVE OF HIM... That I am actually glad that she's not going home to him that night. But, also, I can feel for her... They've been together for so long and they'd really gone through a lot together that it'd be basically impossible for her not to feel the loss of that happiness. And, yes, I agree with Susan in that Hannah is a contradictory person BUT I can see where she is coming from. Yes, what Ernie did is wrong but she's been in love with her longer than she's hated him so there's no surprise that she's feeling a little sad (and stupid. let's not forget stupid) about the way things have gone. I also love how Susan corrects her on the whole polyamory thing. Like, she's right.. There's no excuse for hiding things and lying... Things are better out in the open. I can't wait for next chapter since it's an Ernie chapter and I can curse and shout at him in my head.


--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

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Review #23, by bittersweetflamesWhen I Go Out With You: You Didn't Look 'Round

20th July 2015:
This chapter really started off cute. I really really love the way that Ernie and Hannah tease each other and how they talk when they do. It's the sort of affectionate ribbing I see people who have been together AGES talk to one another. Especially when they still genuinely like each other. Granted, I felt really sad and deflated by how IMMEDIATELY Ernie dismisses Hannah and her thoughts on polyamory. LIKE, HOW DARE YOU?! Yeah, so this does not bode well for their relationship, obviously, which is sad for me because the Hannah and Ernie you have written is very cute and lovely - like one of those couples you watch having their thousandth date but it still looks like it's the first? Just so sweet.
And then... OF COURSE. THE END. I was all. OH NO HE DIDN'T. THE NERVE OF HIM. The sheer NERVE of him to cheat on Hannah, who is just lovely and sweet and kind and any man should feel lucky to be with someone like her. I feel my heart break for her as I was secretly egging her on to slap him or (at the very least) leave his sorry cheating self behind.

--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you found Hannah and Ernie's interactions so believable for a long term couple.

While you had a lot of the expected angerragegrr feelings towards Ernie for the two awful things he does this chapter, it doesn't seem that you found the shift difficult to believe. This was something that I was concerned with - that readers wouldn't believe the seemingly sudden shift in Ernie's character, but I have gotten no feedback along those lines, so I'm just going to go with it.

Sam.


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Review #24, by bittersweetflamesWhen I Go Out With You: It's A Happening World

20th July 2015:
OKAY. Back to Susan. YAS. This makes me happy. And GOD I love Susan. She is the sort of girl I'd love to be around and to love and to just be with because she has these ideas and values that I myself value but aren't accepted in the society I live in today.. (meh, I won't get into it or it'd just depress me.) Anyway, okay.. moving on. I really love their conversation where Hannah says that what they have is 'beautiful' because this is the perfect way to describe what this chapter was and how I really felt about it. There's absolutely nothing bad about having feelings that are beautiful and, certainly, the way Susan lives is just so free.. I think it's great, really? Because she's so honest and she never endeavours to hurt the people she has 'things' with.
I live by the choice of freedom. You are living by the choice of exclusivity. - Can we just stop and talk about how brilliant that line is? In that one instant, it's like a telescope into Susan's brain. I understand her better and all the more I admire her for it. Can't wait to see what happens next in their story. (and Ernie, ofc.)

--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Hehehe, I love see you proclaim your love for Susan.

A lot of her ideas are pretty and principles are pretty directly my own. Essentially early in the story she serves as a device to educate people who are not familiar with polyamory. I am very glad to hear that at the same time she came off as a very real and likeable character.

Also, I am glad you like the freedom/exclusivity line. I wasn't able to get it able to flow in a way that really worked for me, so I am glad to hear that you though it worked well.

If you ever want to have further conversations on these ideas, or rant about society being poopy, hit me up!

Sam.


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Review #25, by bittersweetflamesWhen I Go Out With You: Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

20th July 2015:
First off, let me start by saying that the chapter title of this is just so lovely! I really think that it fits and it gives the whole chapter a vibe that I really enjoyed reading. I think, that from the start, there is something about Hannah and her happiness that's so infectious and beautiful and innocent. I enjoyed the way she and Ernie interact (and may I put in here that I seriously did not expect it to be Ernie in this chapter? I was surprised but pleasantly so.) because there is this lightness to it and they are so obviously in tune and in love that it's so pretty and, ACTUALLY, now I am just curious as to how Susan will play into this... Like, there was SUCH potential between her and Hannah as well that I am tapping a finger against my lips and going... Mhm. It's certainly intriguing but this chapter was certainly a super fun read and I feel like it could actually stand alone and it's the type where I'd read it if I wanted to laugh with such unbridled joy as Hannah did. :) Thank you for this and, obviously, will be back for the next chapter. :)

--Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thanks for your compliment on the chapter title! The song fits so perfectly with the chapter, though at first I doubted whether it really worked as a chapter title. I'm glad to hear you think it does!

And yes, Hannah's happiness as infectious and beautiful and innocent is a perfect description. I think in part I based that on myself, as my joy has been described as amazingly pure and infectious. I certainly gave her a bit more innocence and naivete.

It's a good point that this chapter could stand alone well. I've never written fluff, but this certainly suggests that I could if I wanted to. However, what I really love about this chapter is how it fits into the rest of the larger story, both as a surprise after the first chapter, and how it connect to the shifts we see in this relationship in he future.

Sam.


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