Reading Reviews From Member: PendleWizard
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PendleWizardA Place of Contemplation: Seagull Pie

29th December 2017:
Another story from the Jardyn archive - what a Christmas treat! The commute into London was hilariously authentic! This story has the usual wonderful mix of humour tension, set in another of your ingenious worlds. I'm looking forward to the rest of it.

Author's Response: Thanks. Ha! Yes, I spent many years commuting by London buses. I had planned to post a new story about now but the plot has grown in complexity. Hopefully I'll have more time in the New Year to do it justice. Thanks again.

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Review #2, by PendleWizardGranger's List: The Ever After

19th October 2017:
The perfect end to the perfect story. Thank you.

Author's Response: Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. :)

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Review #3, by PendleWizardGranger's List: Aftermath

16th October 2017:
This is such a powerful and well-written story (with an occasional welcome leavening of humour) and I have been thoroughly enjoying it (if it isn't wrong to say you enjoy such a story).

In my head, the Redcar camp is built on the site of the steelworks. Was that your intention?

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that this story has resonated with you. I wrote it as a nod to those that suffered in the Holocaust and the powerful movie, Schindler's List.

As for Redcar, the steelworks is a great idea for the location.
I did all of my research online about a year ago and I don't exactly remember why I chose it other than it had space, it was in the north, and it was by the coast. It also has higher crime rates (but that is to be expected of a resort town). And I thought that would disguise the camp better. I wasn't going to put it in an affluent part of town. Plus, I like the name Redcar, it has a certain ring to it.

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Review #4, by PendleWizardThe Sword of Light: The First Aid Club

12th October 2017:
A wonderful chapter! The scene in the First Aid Club (and afterwards) was comedy gold!

Author's Response: Thanks. Ha! Yes, that's one of my favourite scenes of the series. Thanks again.

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Review #5, by PendleWizardTwenty Eight Turns: Chapter 4: Birthdays

12th October 2017:
A hugely entertaining chapter. I loved the little scene between Bella and Mina, with the hissed death threat and then acting as if they'd been swapping pleasantries. Something tells me Bellaxtrix has just met her match!

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Review #6, by PendleWizardNew Daddy: New Mommy

7th October 2017:
This is great fun! I hope your muse keeps musing (and amusing)!

Author's Response: Thank-you! So glad you enjoyed it.

Most of my work is on AO3.

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Review #7, by PendleWizardThe Dragon: Like My New Pet?

6th October 2017:
I've really enjoyed this story and indeed the preceding two parts.

I love the extraordinary characters you have created: kales, Harbinger, Fides.

It's lovely to see the relationship between Harry and Hermione developing.

You get a bonus mark for getting Hermione to say 'Are You Sitting Comfortably...' I think Listen With Mother finished in 1982, but listening to it seems such a Hermione-esque thing to do that I'll grant you some artistic licence!

Looking forward to the final part.

Author's Response: Thanks. Ha! That's a phrase that was already a joke when I was younger and hopefully it will persist. I've always said it before reading a bedtime story and when they were old enough to read to me (which I always seemed to enjoy more) I would never settle down properly until I heard it repeated back to me. Glad you are enjoying the series. Thanks again.

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Review #8, by PendleWizardA Dursley Christmas Carol: A Dursley Christmas Carol

2nd October 2017:
An interesting idea and a lovely story. I really enjoyed it.

It's an interesting question: Was Harry's character because of or despite the Dursley's neglect?

My favourite version of the Christmas Carol is Blackadder's, where the plot is reversed ie a naive and generous individual becomes cynical and misanthropic, but I think you probably need to be British (or at least know Blackadder) to appreciate it.

Author's Response: Thank-you!

The nature vs. nurture aspect. Glad you liked the premise.

I haven't see that version so I am off to find it. There is another version "Mister Scrooge to see you" with Timothy Cratchit VI receiving a visit from Ebenezer who has been sent to the future. Have you seen it?

Again, thank you for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #9, by PendleWizardThe Apprentice Piece: Summer Job

16th September 2017:
Another utterly enthralling story. I love the totally believable alternative worlds you create. I particularly enjoyed Pansy's double (or triple) bluff of passing herself off as a hoity-toity muggle! I thought it was above and beyond the call of duty for him to spend his pay packet on her, though (even if it was totally in character.

I shall look forward to reading the rest.

Author's Response: Thanks. Yes, I liked the idea that Pansy would easily fall into her role in front of the Dursleys yet privately had some sympathy for Harry. So the question has to be, is her attitude towards him at school just an act as well? Thanks again.

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Review #10, by PendleWizardHarry Potter and the Grand Trine: White Shoes

24th August 2017:
I continue to greatly enjoy this story. I'd like to reiterate what Bardic Magic's review says: It is your attention detail that makes your writing. You are writing about the interplay between magic and muggle and therefore the detail has to work. I'm trying to do the same in my own writing. There are plenty of other stories about magic and relationships if that's what people want! So please: carry on 'being Bill'

[Just to clarify: a lot of beer does go in the fridge, but real ale is something specific and it is drunk at room temperature, just like red wine is.]

Have a bonus mark for the comment about the News of the World. It is SO what Whiteside would have said!

The term Not-For-Profit is not in general use in the UK, certainly not at the time your book is set. YIPI would be termed a voluntary organisation. The general population tends to use the term charity slightly lazily as a bit of a portmanteau to cover any voluntary organisaion whether or not a registered charity. Whiteside, I am sure would talk about family/charitable trusts, registered charities and voluntary organisations..

But I'm being the pedantic Englishman again. Maybe you need to talk about not-for-profits for the benefit of all your other readers and I'll just have to grit my teeth!

Thanks again for brilliant writing. I'm looking forward to the next installment.

Author's Response: hank you PendalWizard,

As I told Bardic Magic, I've been out of reading time for a while and am looking forward to seeing how you both conceive of magic, muggles and their interplay.

I thought I knew that about real ale, apparently not! Thanks.

I think I need to go with voluntary organization. I'll make the change in this book then later make the change in my first story. Again, thank you, I appreciate getting the cultural context right.

Pedantic, humm! It was wrong and you fixed it for me. That's teaching. I appreciate that you took the time to make my story better.


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Review #11, by PendleWizardJust another quiet year at Hogwarts : CHAPTER EIGHT

24th August 2017:
I'm greatly enjoying this whole story. I'm torn between wanting them to find a way out of the curse and them growing to love each other. I love the varied reactions of the clan. Scorp is quite the gentleman, isn't he!

I don't feel the diary entry quite works though. It doesn't quite read like a diary and it sounds like the writing of a twenty-first century American, not a Victorian English gentleman. Words like dunno, dumb and Ms jar rather. Heck, I don't think someone of Malfoy's ilk would use Ms even today!

The rest of the story is brilliant!

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words and the review! It really means a lot to me that people have started to review my story!

I made a slip about the way they talk and everything in the diary entry... thanks for the pick up on that! I haven't had much experience in writing in Victorian English so I have to do a bit more research and practice! I'll go back and edit soon.

Also, the diary entry is not a major plot in the story (well, the concept of it is) but I want it to be in the next few chapters so Lily and Scorpius can understand why they are betrothed. I'll try and keep it to a minimum if more people are unhappy with it. I just want everything to make sense to Lily and Scorpius.

With what you said about the Malfoy's, that's a very good point but I want readers to see that once upon a time, the Malfoy's weren't always like they were in the Harry Potter books (at least in my world they weren't) and that they could have even been friends with the Potter's and Longbottom's and everyone else.

Thanks again for the review! It made my day!

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Review #12, by PendleWizardRealm of Bridges: Epilogue - Letter from Another World

1st August 2017:
This has been a really enjoyable story and I am rather sad it has come to an end. I love the whole idea of taking a muggle landmark and finding a magical reason for it and it is a very great pleasure to read believable, adult, English characters. I know he's a not got a big part, but there is just something so completely perfect and enjoyable about Bernard Anderton. Actually, I'd happily read a whole story about the shenanigans between the aurors and Law Enforcement, without any need for the high adventure!

Any story with multiple worlds is inevitably going to be a bit confusing at times. I think it might bear a re-read at some point to cement it all it. Personally, I think I would have called the 'other' Harry Herry throughout. Spending some time in his world (which I don't think we did, did we?) or indeed spending time in both the other worlds before 'our' harry crossed, might have helped clarify things a bit. I wasn't always sure whether there were multiple versions of some of the minor characters (and Ron) or just one who had travelled.

But all this is nit-picking of an excellent story.

Ooh! I see you've written a lot of other stuff. I must sample some of that!

Thank you.

Author's Response: Thanks. I think you're right, having just one fleeting visit to Herry's world at the end was a missed opportunity. The problem was, I wanted to delay discovery of the extent of Herry's true involvement. I also didn't want Harry to find out what made Herry quite so angry.

I was rather torn over the Herry/Harry naming thing. When Herry wasn't angry he was actually Harry and that's what I didn't want to lose.

You mentioned multiple versions of people and any confusion there was unintentional (sorry). However, you may have noticed that Hartford's character changed during the story. In the beginning he was not very quick witted at all, yet at the end he was powerful and eloquent. In my original draft, Hartford's gift of being able to use the bridges so well came about because he suffered an accident that combined two versions of himself. I dropped the idea because it didn't seem to add much.

I'm glad you liked the Bernard Anderton character. I often used to walk through Finsbury Park of a lunchtime, and as I was recalling the path Harry would take to find the water feature, I remembered once passing a man there wearing a white porkpie hat and pink sunglasses and realised I would have to base the policeman upon him! No promises, but maybe he'll return some time.

Thanks again.

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Review #13, by PendleWizardRealm of Bridges: Harry Meets Herry

8th July 2017:
I must admit that something put me off reading this story initially. I'm not even quite sure what, it might just have been the flashing banner (just a personal thing, sorry). I eventually decided to give it a go and I'm so glad I did. It's a clever and original idea, extremely well written.

The thing that makes it for me is your sense of time and place: I read a name like Bernard Anderton and it instantly creates an image in my head. You say you've used artistic licence and moved a few places around (I don't know Finsbury Park, so can't judge), but there is a big difference between that i.e. using artistry to lovingly create somewhere that works for your stories and yet feels right and the don't-know-don't-care writing of somewhere that bears no relation to where it is meant to be, which one meets too often on here. I can relax and enjoy your story without having to mentally airbrush out the anachronisms!

Having two Harries is a wee bit confusing but you've written it well so I just about kept up. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in wartime London.

Overall - absolutely brilliant!

Author's Response: Thanks. Sorry, I struggled a lot with the banner and I'll have another go when I get time. The main problem was I wanted the scenes to reflect the story journey but the file size was impractical and compressing even the cut down version resulted in the uncomfortable effects.

Yes, the two Harrys thing is a bit confusing especially when they are both speaking. That's why I introduced the Herry name. That didn't really work but seemed better than always having to refer to 'the other Harry'. I started with the intention that Herry would only be 'angry Harry' but we won't learn what is really going on with him until much later.

Thanks again.

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Review #14, by PendleWizardWitchful Thinking: Needle In A Haystack

2nd July 2017:
Another stonkingly brilliant chapter! let's hope the adults all sort themselves out now!

I particularly loved all the interactions in St Mungo's - the terrified mediwzard and the 'she needs a proper hospital,' 'This IS a proper hospital' bit.


Author's Response: Hi Pendle!

Thank you so much for your fab review! I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter, especially the St Mungo's aspect (I think that was my favourite writing part, too).

Adults will be adults. Don't expect them all to be too adult for long ...

Brax X

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Review #15, by PendleWizardSeeing Things Differently: The owl and the letter

28th June 2017:
A interesting first chapter, and even better, it led to a very enjoyable afternoon reading your other stuff.

You asked for errors. In 1991, Hermione would not have looked Hogwarts up on the internet, I was a university student back then. I had email but not access to the worldwide web (although, I think some of my friends did). It just was wasn't the go-to source of information it is now. She would have gone to the library (doesn't she always!) and looked in a directory.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and for the feedback!! This is definitely something I hadn't considered given the time period. I will definitely be going back to revise :)

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Review #16, by PendleWizardChanges and Secrets: James is still alive!

26th June 2017:
An interesting idea and I look forward to seeing how it develops.

I'm not entirely convinced by Dumbledore's role in detaining them: I don't think he'd do it; I don't think he'd have the power to do it; and I'm sure the sentence for an illegal animagus would only be six months or so. Eighteen months tops.

One glaring Americanism: In Britain, a porch is a covered entrance: either a small roof over a door (and perhaps somewhere to sit to put your boots on) or a small anteroom - somewhere to put muddy boots and wet coats. What Americans call a porch, we call a verandah, but they are very rare. They're generally found on cricket pavilions or seaside bungalows. The Dursleys definitely wouldn't have one.

Author's Response: Hey, thank you so much for your review:) Ya, I know Dumbledore in canon would probably not do it. But for the purpose of my story, I made his character a little more manipulative.
I know the term for an illegal animagus should rightfully be much shorter than 7 years, but I made it longer for the purpose of this story. Plus, we were never really told how severe the crime of being an illegal animagus is.
Dumbledore did have some pull at the ministry. He had order of Merlin First Class, was chief warlock and part of the Wizengamot. So in my story, I made it so that he was influential enough to meddle. I apologize if you found any part of my story illogical.
I apologize for the term, porch. I forgot it was an American term. I'm not very familiar with the American and British distinctions. I usually use the terms I'm accustomed to, whether British or American. I'm from Malaysia. While we mostly use British English here, there's also a slight use of American terms instead.

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Review #17, by PendleWizardAdventures with the Centaur Liaison Office: The letter

15th June 2017:
What a fantastic first chapter. This is a very clever idea and I am looking forward to the next installment. I can't help thinking this isn't what Kingsley had in mind when he appointed Dennis!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! And yes, I don't think anyone expected Dennis to actually have anything to do with centaurs or they wouldn't have put him in charge.

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Review #18, by PendleWizardWitchful Thinking: Little Girl Lost

6th June 2017:
Awww!Poor wee Iris! I hope they find her soon and I hope this brings Al and Sunny together! What made her choose KX? It's a bit insalubrious around there. How far has she wandered - if she went into Bloomsbury or down the Gray's Inn Road it wouldn't be too bad (Sorry - used to work round there many moons ago!) Do we know where Al lives?

Would someone in Eastcote talk about going into London? They're part of London, aren't they? Would they say 'into town' maybe? (Sorry - I'm not a Londoner. You probably know the nuances better than me. Maybe Eastcote sees itself as separate?).

I'm really enjoying this (and love all your work). Can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hi PendleWizard,

Thank you so much for your lovely comments, and I really appreciate the questions! :)

Iris chose KX off the top of her head when put on the spot, because she'd heard of it before. However, I didn't specify whether she exited the train there or not! Just that she got out with lots of other people and there were shops.

You don't know where Al lives, but I do ;P As for whether someone in Eastcote would say they were "going into town" or "going into London" - that's a very interesting question!! I think it's far away or close enough to be either, but locals may be able to put me right on that score. My Auntie lived near Rayner's Lane and talked about "going into London", but she may have been an anomaly!

Next chapter isn't too far away :)

Brax X

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Review #19, by PendleWizardMuggles in Hogwarts: Technology

1st June 2017:
A clever idea for a story, but I don't think there'd be this amount of conflict at this stage, if at all. Harry's primary school would be one of at least half a dozen that fed into Stonewall High. He is unlikely to know most of those who have come to Hogwarts, and even those he does know are seven years older and wiser than when he last saw them. I wouldn't have thought they'd want to continue a playground grudge from when they were 11. Most would just be glad to see a familiar face!

I think most 18 year olds placed in this situation would be on their best behaviour, at least initially, whether hosts or guests.

I'm looking forward to the next update, but do think it would be even better if you toned down the conflict a little.

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Review #20, by PendleWizardTwenty Eight Turns: Chapter 3: Sisterhood

27th May 2017:
I'm greatly enjoying this. I especially like the idea that Mina is going to get back to 1998 by aging rather than time-travel and I'm looking forward to seeing how that develops.

I'm not sure I'd relish being 10 again!

Is James adopted, too?

One small point: The Euro didn't exist in 1970 - France used the Franc.

Author's Response: I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far! I don't think many of us would want to relive puberty, but I think she would have a bit more reason to than we would.
James isn't adopted, he was born to Euphemia and Fleamont, but the Seer predicted the twins because she could see them at 11 where they were blood relatives.
Thank you for pointing that out! I'll make sure to fix that. I probably wouldn't be able to update the corrections on this site for a while.
I hope you have a lovely day! Sorry for the late reply.

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Review #21, by PendleWizardSaving Them All: Chapter 6

16th May 2017:
Ooh! You spoil us! Another chapter so quickly! I am so enjoying this!

I hope Hermione starts to be kinder to herself or she's not going to be good for anything. She and Sirius are quite deranged, aren't they!

Lily now knows that Jean is home educated and a muggle-born. That's quite an unusual combination. I wonder if anyone will twig that?

Just a small point: I find the phrase 'check [Sirius] out quite jarring and I am ten years younger than he is (albeit I probably had quite a sheltered upbringing). I think I'd have probably said that someone was giving me the once-over (actually it's highly unlikely that they would have been, but you know what I mean!)

Hope that's not too picky - it doesn't spoil this fantastic story!

Author's Response: Thank you for your thoughts! I agree, Hermione and Sirius make quite the pair. I'm glad you caught the part about Hermione being Muggle-born and home schooled. It was a pretty thoughtless slip of mind, and might have planted a seed of suspicion in Lily.

Thanks for the point about "checking out". I'm a small-town American (with a British dad), and I struggle a little with correct phrasing for things. I'll work on that!

Thank you again for keeping up with my story! I'm reaching the end of my pre-written chapters, so things will slow down a little, but I'll try to keep updating semi-regularly.

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Review #22, by PendleWizardImmortal Misconceptions: Insert Plan B Into Slot A

11th May 2017:
This is side-splittingly funny. So many wonderful lines! Bravo!

Author's Response: Heh! I'm so glad you enjoyed this :) It was immense fun to write!

Brax X

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Review #23, by PendleWizardSaving Them All: Chapter 4

7th May 2017:
Another brilliant chapter! I think you have it bang on: Hermione being so weak and run down and her secret lasting as long as secrets normally last at Hogwarts!

Whatever Sirius has heard, he is going to be like, well, a dog with a bone, isn't he?

Can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: Thank you! It really means a lot to me that you would take the time to review.

Secrets don't tend to last long at Hogwarts, do they? We'll see how long Hermione's lasts, especially with Sirius *sniffing* around.

"Like a dog with a bone" -- I laughed out loud. Such a perfect depiction of Sirius. I have the next chapter in the queue so it should be up in the very near future.

Thanks again!

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Review #24, by PendleWizardRunning Away: The first day back in England

2nd May 2017:
Ooh good - Draco and Emma are back! I really enjoyed Blending In and am looking forward to getting stuck into this one.

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you're enjoying this! More to come soon!

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Review #25, by PendleWizardSaving Severus Snape : xxi.

26th April 2017:
This story is such sweet torture! I am willing Hermione and Severus together even though, like her, I know it can only end in heartbreak. I have this horrible feeling that, far from saving him, she is assuring his destruction and Dumbledore has used her just like she used him. I hope I am wrong.

I am enjoying this story so much! The only problem with having read the latest chapter is that I now have to wait a fortnight for the next one. Keep them coming!

Author's Response: That would be something very Dumbledore-like of him to do, wouldn't it? But it may possibly all work out in the end somehow. We'll see ;)

Aww thank you so much!! I've fallen a little behind with writing the next chapter, but I'm going to try to get it up asap. I will absolutely have two updates this month, however. They just might not be perfectly two weeks apart from one another.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!! ♥

xoxo Meg

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