AW! That was so sweet! Not cheesy, don't get me wrong, but sweet in a very nice way!
Ok, I'll start from the beginning. Even though I said that she had it coming, I thought that she was a bit too harsh on herself. I mean, ok, you ignored the guy, who was your best friend, and who loved you all along... *thinks* ok, I'll drop my point. I wanted to say that she didn't deserve it all, but I guess I changed my mind lol!
I just love Liz and Mel! They are so different, but such devoted friends. Liz is emotional and understanding, and trying to make Lily feel better, and Mel is frank and honest - what you see is what you get, which is why I respect them both. They complement each other nicely in the role or Lily's best friends.
I was so happy that Lily and James finally 'signed a treaty' but a question... when are they going to kiss?? *burst out laughing* I mean, I was expecting it like zillion times already. First, when they slept in her house, then when they were dancing, and now I was absolutely certain that they would kiss but you disappointed us *sniff sniff*, and James too, I might add! haha
Anyways, am on to read the next chapter!!! *runs off excitedly*Author's Response: Lol! I love reading your reviews they put such a huge smile on my face!
I know she overreacted, that's just Lily all over for me. She blows things out of proportion, she does with thinking people will think her to be wrong and ignoring them and then again when she realised that ignoring them was wrong. It's something she's going to have to grow out of :)
I'm glad you like Liz and Mel and they are different, it's good to see that it is noticable.
Hehe! I'm evil aren't I? Well I'm building up to it lol. You'll see. (oh no, now there is pressure on it! Ahh!)
Hehe. We'll get there :) Report Review
I - just - Lily - I - ARGHHH! Ok, from the start. First of all, James has EVERY right to be hurt, I would react like that if I was in his place. Lily needs to wake up, and seriously, GROW UP. Fine, I understand why she did it, but that doesn't mean I approve it.
At one point I think you changed PoVs. It was in third person and then first. It is a bit confusing.
Other than that, great job as usual!Author's Response: Hehe. You're meant to hate Lily right now, she's being completely pig headed and yeah... James was right :) I don't approve of what she did either. Tut tut, Lily lol.
Oh, thank you! I will have a look at it and fix it, thanks for pointing it out for me! Thanks for the review! Report Review
OMG!!! I am on the edge of my seat!!! James now thinks that there is something between his best friend and Lily! This so complicated!! All along Lily thinks he is just making it easier for her, when he is doing it so that he can avoid the two of them having fun, and excluding him!
I know I should feel a little angry at Sirius for doing this, but I know he is just trying to help both of them! He really doesn't realize what James might be thinking!
The ending left me wondering... does he like Lily or was he talking about his actions concerning James? I seriously hope it is the second, because I don't want to see him hurting James! And if he does hurt him I will go and kick him, despite the fact that he is my favorite character... and a totally fictional character... *hides*Author's Response: Lol that's good that you want to kick him, it means I've made him believable - even if he is infuriating!
Lol! I'm glad you like the new twists! Getting interesting huh? xD
Thank you soo much for all the wonderful reviews, and I hopr you enjoy the rest! Report Review
Ok I am seriously going to strangle Lily. I mean, what is wrong with her? The girl has James and Sirius as best friends and wants to distance herself from them? She seriously needs a therapy!
The chapter was really great, as always, and I enjoyed every bit! I am seriously obsessed with this. Wait, did I seriously say that aloud? Hahahah ;)Author's Response: Lol. I know, she's being a bad Lily! Bad egg lol. But yeah, you'll see!
And I'm glad you liked it! Thank you soo much for the lovely reviews! Report Review
I loved this chapter. I kept bursting out laughing so everyone around me thinks I am losing it... ah well... that's life.
I have to admit I was so pleased you mentioning Italy; I lived there for two years and I don't know if it's a coincidence or not, but they have the BEST ice-creams is the world! Ah, Italian gelato *swoons in nostalgia*
Anyways, back to reality, I seriously adored this chapter. I think I am by now head over heels in love with Sirius - he is just so adorable!!
Oh, and one thing though... I might be wrong, of course, since me and technology is like donkey and make-up, but I think Lily would have taken her cassette player, not CD player lol!!! But other than that small detail, I absolutely loved this~Author's Response: Thanks! And I'm glad in weird way that I'm making people think you've lost it lol. I have always wanted to go to Italy, especially having heard of the super ice cream there :)
Oh my goodness! Of course! How could I forget that! *headdesk* I'll go fix it! Thanks for pointing it out, I never would have noticed it lol. Report Review
I just love Sirius! He is the perfect friend! Both for James and for Lily. Frankly, I was astounded that James had told the rest of the Marauders about that morning and Lily, but I guess Sirius's explanation was sufficient.
What I most like about this story is that you show the way the characters evolve: especially Lily, and James of course. It is rather fast, true, but definitely not forced. It looks very natural.
You are really doing a great job with the fic and I am really happy that you posted to have it reviewed; I probably wouldn't have found it other way ;).Author's Response: I love Sirius too: he's my favourite!
The Marauders in my opinion were closer than brothers, they would notice things like that so for me, it was natural for that to happen, and I'm glad that you can see my reasoning, if it was a shock :)
I'm glad that you think they are evolving, they are growing up are they not:? *hint title hint*
I'm glad I requested reviews! They are lovely and it is probably true, you wouldn't have read it other wise :) thanks soo much! Report Review
I knew it! I just love this story! Only four chapters?? Who came up with that stupid rule anyway? I am reading more!
Seriously, I haven't read many good Marauders' stories but this one is just amazing! I thought all of them had a Mary Sue and a childish James, ignorant Sirius and a stuck-up Lily.
I already said I love your style. Before I get caught up commenting this chapter I will jump to the next one; I have no time to lose haha!!
As you can see, I am addicted. 10/10 DUH and this is going to my favorites.
You know, usually I am quite a critical person but here I HONESTLY have nothing to criticize!Author's Response: Lol! I'm very glad you are ignoring you're own rule :) Aww thanks so much! That was so lovely and I'm glad you don't think it's really cliche, I tried to make sure it wasn't but you never know! Thanks XD Report Review
James and Sirius??? Haaa!! I knew they are going to be in the same neighborhood! I wonder how Lily would react ;)
I absolutely adore the house; no wonder Lily immediately liked it. Who can blame her?
Her parents seem very nice people who don't mind being suddenly moved from their own house. I think it must have been a great step for them but I guess they'd do anything for their daughter and her safety.
Well, another amazing chapter and I am off to read the next one!Author's Response: Lol mayybe :P You'll ahve to read and find out! I know, it could win over anyone.
I always thought of Lily's parents to be very caring and loving and interested in the world that their daughter lives in, so I thought that they would do something like that if they needed to. Thanks you! Report Review
I officially love James. He is so nice! I really liked the part when they met in the morning. He was so honest, and even Lily couldn't ignore that ;) - she is so falling for him!!
So it wasn't Snape after all, but the Marauders minus James... hmmm... probable lol!
Teaching them rhyming games? I fell off my seat when I read that! I could totally imagine Sirius doing that when in the mood!
And at the end - James is right: she is good!
Great chapter, amazing style, great EVERYTHING!!! Now I am really convinced that I can't possibly stop at four!!!Author's Response: I'm glad to hear you're breaking your rules lol.
The rhyming games, yeah, Sirius is just a child at heart :) You have to love James, he's just awesome :) Thanks so much once again for the lovely review! Report Review
I was laughing throughout the chapter. Such a cool prank. Snape? I thought so lol! Lily is sooo pretending that she hates James! Melanie is right... she'll work it out when the time comes.
Honestly, I can't believe why Lily acts like that with James (apart from all the pranks they played on her and such); he is such a sweetie! And besides, he IS a Quidditch captain.
Ok, before I continue rambling about my infatuation with James Potter let me continue with the story...
PS. I have a feeling that I am going to break the 4 chapter rule haha!!Author's Response: Aw thank you! I am so glad you enjoyed it. And i know, Lily is delusional :D
Thanks so much for the fast and wonderful review! Report Review
I loved it! Your portrayal of Narcissa was really amazing. I could almost feel for her, and sympathize with her.
Her thoughts, her feeling are undoubtedly what makes her a mother and a wife. I especially liked the part where the comparison to Lily Potter was made. I could almost picture her irony, perhaps?, when she voiced her thoughts, as if to say: I too am a mother, what makes you so special?
You showed her devoted love for Lucius. How she had helped him, and pulled him through... just amazing. She had been in love with him till this very day.
Your style is really great. I loved your description; it was enough and it wasn't overdone. I could picture everything that was going on.
All in all, an AMAZING story. 9/10Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it, I'm really pleased the comparison to Lily was a fave part for you as I happen to think exactly what you picked up!
I'm glad her love for her family came over well and not too much, that is what I wanted to show with this one shot.
Thanks so much for all the comments, I appreicate your feedback Report Review
This is going to be a long-ish review so I better start. I want to comment from the beginning.
First, I thought that Bliss's character was the definition of a Mary Sue - golden eyes, silver hair; ma dai! Then as the story progressed I simply fell in love with it, including Bliss and James and all the rest!
Your characterization is amazing! And James' thoughts are so real. This may sound stupid, but I could totally relate! For example, I am in a boarding school not in my country and am leaving in two months. What I was thinking was along the lines of James' thoughts - so little to go!
Another thing about James: he is certainly maturing throughout the story and you have done it very nicely. At the beginning he was such a spoiled brat, but what he did at the end of this chapter only showed how much he had changed, how much Bliss had changed him. Couldn't help but make the comparison between the point when his friends told him to throw something at Bliss and he did it, and now - him refusing to do it. Just amazing!
Now about Bliss. I was really intrigued why was she so strange and at one point I even started wondering if she really felt anything at all! Of course, as the story moved forward she revealed her true colours! I really like Bliss.
But I couldn't help but noticing the irony! Arielle (sorry if I spelled it wrong, lol) broke up with James because he was mean to Bliss, but now he falls in love with that very same girl! Makes me wonder if James and Bliss will be together (I sure hope they will!) and how will Arielle react to all of that.
Also, the other characters were very well developed. You have mostly kept their parents' characteristics with your own input and I really liked it! I don't know why, but I was really struck by Fred Weasley not being in the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but that only proves that you don't follow the predictable pattern which most of the 'next generation' stories follow.
In general, this is one of the best stories I've read, and believe me, lately I am so critical, it is a miracle I actually liked something, lol!
Overall, you are a great and a talented writer and are doing an amazing job with this fic. Keep up the good work (and update fast! hahah)
9/10Author's Response: I have previously responded to this review. I believe that there is some glitch within HPFF that has made this review, and 91 other ones of mine, become "unanswered". I am sorry for the inconvenience. Report Review
Such a sweet story, fluffy and nice. I liked it a lot. I've never really liked Hannah (for absolutely no reason obvious to me... lol) but I recently started writing this fic with her and since then I started liking her character. I've never read a Hannah/Neville fic and this was my first one. I have to say that I was a bit skeptical but my doubts lifted by the end :D. The part when Neville kissed her made me smile - it was so sweet!
Anyways, this review came fast lol! 8/10 Report Review
Wowww... Jessi, that was amazing!!! I can't believe I haven't read this fic till now and I just realized what I've been missing!!!
First I want to apologize for not reviewing the other chapters but I was in such a rush to read the next chapter that I forgot to review... sorry! lol...
the fic was absolute wonderful! I started it this morning and finished it now - all in one day and I didn't get off my computer until I finished it!!
Definitely one of the best fics I've read!
AnnaAuthor's Response: Oh, thank you so much, Anna!!! I'm so glad you liked it so much!! No worries about not reviewing the others..as you can see I'm behind on answering them LOL. I'm so glad you enjoyed it *is squeeing* *hugs* Thank you SO much!!! *hugs* Report Review
Amazing! And now what's better, Salazar knows!! And I bet he'll help all three of them: Rowena, Helga and Godric! The king is such an idiot! And I really like Arthur, he is real nice!
Anyways, waiting for an update!!Author's Response: Yes, the king is a bit of an idiot! hahaha I'm glad you're enjoying it, shouldn't be long now... Report Review
This has to be one of the best one-shots I have ever read. It was amazing! Your writing style is flawless, just perfect! The way you managed to capture the feelings and everything Hermione was feeling was just amazing. Anguish and angst were written in every single word. It is long since I have read anything as good as this. You really have talent. This definitely goes to my favorites! 10/10
~~Anna_BlackAuthor's Response: Woww. I'm so flattered by your compliments, I think you've inflated my ego enough. =D Heheh. I'm glad that I got the characterizations right, cause I've never experienced an event like this. I'm so glad I've gotten this written to how it was supposed to be perceived, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Wow!!! That is all I can say here... so different from the previous chapters, but only proves your diversity as a writer... Sirius really, truly loves her, he is just so sweet! And YAY she is safe! Anyways, this was really a quick update and I hope that the next one will be quick as well!!Author's Response: I'm going to start writing the next chapter this weekend, maybe even later today, so it should be another quick update. I'm really happy that you liked it, and thank you so much for the compliments! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D Report Review
Sorry I didn't review on the last chapter but I'll say what I wanted here. I love your story, but you'd know that already, lol! I really like that you made it so that James and Sirius didn't get along at first because Sirius was a 'Black' and James hates the Dark Arts. You also did a really good job at coming up with the other OCs - they are really original! I;m just wondering if this will be only their first year or will you write about how they get older?? Just a random thought... and as far as your randomness is concerned - I LOVE IT!!! lol... Well, update soon!!!Author's Response: I haven't really thought about that... actually, I lied. I have everything planned out in my head of what's going to happen all through their school years up until the fall of Voldie, so, yeh, expect a super-long story. eventually.
~ Caroline Report Review
Haha... Lily and James are just sooo cute!! They are so born for each other, lol! And I loved when Lily said, 'Oh? And why can’t you marry me? Am I not pretty enough, or something?' that was so cool! And Remus can speak so many languages, that is nice. I am guessing that him knowing French will help her with that letter she found in her house?? Oh well... it is nice guessing, lol! Author's Response: I loved how I was treading the line between love and hate for them during that argument. It was so much fun. And the languages... I can just see him doing that.
~ Caroline Report Review
Nice chapter, I liked it, especially since it had Sirius in it. Oh, I just love Sirius - he is so adorable, lol... (maybe a bit of an idiot, but not here, so that doesn't really count, lol) I really like the fact that Ellie's mother came from a pure-blood family and just went her own way, just like Sirius. I wonder if Ellie will meet the other side of the family, that would be interesting.Author's Response: Hmmm.... You'll see... *sly look* Report Review
I always thought that Remus telling about his 'furry little problem' to a complete stranger is a bit too much to hope for, but you did it really well! Not too much drama, just the perfect amount of everything, not to mention that they are just eleven year old kids so think it would be easer for such a young kid to trust someone else... anyways, like always amazing style, and bla bla bla things (all considered as awesome, no question here, lol)Author's Response: Well, she had to figure out somehow. It was just kinda easier this way.
~ Caroline Report Review
Ok, I just finished reading the second chapter and this is officially turning into one of my favorite fics of ALL TIME!! It is just amazing - your writing style, your sense of humor... everything!! And James - omg, he is just awesome!! I love him!! And I loved the 'Lion King' part. I know it is a bit off the age, but I still loved it!!! I can tell that you love the movie, right?? lol... And Ellie is just so cool! off to the next chapter!!!Author's Response: *Giggles in glee and bounces excitedly* yeah, I wasn't sure about the Lion King thing, but it works out, hopefully. Besides, how COULD they live without Disney??
~ Caroline Report Review
Oh My Cow!!! hahaha... just had to say that... couldn't resist! Anyways, sorry it took me so long to review but here I am!!! *shy wave* anyways, amazing chapter! It was so fun to read that I didn't even notice that it was pretty long, lol! Ellie looks really fun! I can't wait to see what will happen at Hogwarts when she meets the Marauders! I bet it would be fun to read! Well, your writing style is just amazing - a lot of humor, and like you said 'fits of randomness' which I loved!!! Well, off on the 'Zephie' to the next chapter... (I guess not, since Ellie would start shooing me off that broom, which sounds sooo cool!) lol...Author's Response: Heh, thank you so much! I'm glad you don't think it's too long, and that you like my writing style!
~ Caroline Report Review
I knew it! I knew that Sirius would start liking her, haha... oh well. But I wonder what does Jakob want from her. I mean, ok, he can be a nice Slytherin (somehow I don't believe that, lol) but he can also be a typical Slytherin and do what they all do - use people to get what they want... So I don't trust him... As to Sirius, I think it was a but too rushed to have him falling for Emily. Maybe he should be more of 'the playboy' type, you know, pretending that he doesn't care and such, but in fact to fall in for her... but then again, this is your fic and that was only my suggestion.
All in all, I liked this and I hope you continue writing!
Anna_BlackAuthor's Response: Well, he is only subconsciously falling for emily, but he is really in like with Laily, she is one of the main plot lines, for part two of this story, and the sequel...yep...thanks for your opinions, its great Report Review
It was a nice chapter but all in all I feel there is something missing... I wouldn't say that it is not written well - on the contrary, I love your style, but I think that putting a bit more humor would add pretty well to the story. After all, we know that those two always come up with some prank, lol... speaking of which, I really liked the prank they pulled on Snape... I kind of feel sorry for him, but then again when I think of all he's done I am starting to think that he deserved what James and Sirius used to do. I am really intrigued by the invitation Emily got, that would be fun - being in a room with all those stuck up Slytherins... ugh!!
Oh and I just remembered: I noticed you call the Marauders - mauders. You might want to change that. Other than that, cool chapter and off to the next one!Author's Response: thanks Report Review
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