Oh I loved the part about genetics (third year in Med school - and genetics is my fave subject :D) - only thing is junk DNA does not have mutations because it is non-coding ;). Other than that, perfect.
Now, to the story - I LOVE IT!!! Seriously! The characters are well formed, the dialogues run smoothly and the descriptions are amazing. Have you been in Morocco? Because it certainly seems real enough :)
I didn't draw any parallels with X-men actually... although Josef Mengele came to my mind when you introduced Maria.
This is the first next generation fic I've read and I love it :DAuthor's Response: hey hun
thank you so much!!
oh gosh, cheers for picking that up, lol. i had absolutely no clue what i was talking about - no head for science!!
i am so pleased you like the characters!! and no, i have never been to morocco, although it is on my list of places to visit. i have just researched a lot for this fic (another thing i love to do!)
oh yes, dear old josef is a bit of an inspiration for maria. she creeps me out >.<
thank you darling!! Report Review
I quite like how you chose to wrap this story up. You kept to cannon, which I really like, because the reader does get the feeling that this could have possibly happened during the time of the Marauders. I have noticed that you've done a fair bit of research into the HP universe, because of your vast knowledge of HP trivia like plants and the like.
I would also like to congratulate you on your endurance and thank you for not giving up on this story. After all, it's not every day that we can find a finished 62 chaptered fic, which stays true to its characters and plot, never falters in intensity, style or quality, and manages to draw the reader into that imaginary world, which somehow feels very real.
All in all, this is definitely one of the best stories I have read on this site, and one of the very few which I am sure will stay with me for a very, very long time.
I hope there will be more of your writing on this site, and not just HTM related :)Author's Response: Hi again!
Yes, I kept to canon. One of the reasons I wrote this story was because I couldn't find one that fit the canon as we know it without too much difficulty, and I wanted to fill in the gaps from this era. So I'd like to thank you for recognising that because I had a lot of people asking why I had to kill Laura - well, canon gives us a single Sirius so I had to end with that scenario. And yes, I did a lot of research and again it's really gratifying to have a reader recognise that. *beams*
I'm also super pleased that you think my story kept in character, plot and intensity because it's very long and while I did try to accomplish that, it's not always easy to tell if you've succeeded. So again, thank you.
Once my current series of one-shots is up I have plans for a Neville fic set in his seventh year, but things are pretty busy for me at the moment and will get more so next year so I'm not sure how quickly that will get up. Thanks for the encouragement though. :D
cheers, Mel Report Review
I cried. And I don't usually cry for fictional characters. Except for Sirius, that is.
Ah well, an amazing chapter which really highlighted your talent as a writer. But then again, that was very obvious even before.Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!
Is it horrible of me to admit that I'm glad you cried? Because this was a highly emotional chapter and if I can get a resopnse like that from my readers it means that I didn't stuff it up as badly as I'd thought I had. So thank you! I am sorry, though, that I had to do that to you because I'm not a cruel person normally, it was just necessary for the story. So sorry about that.
Thanks again, Mel Report Review
I've been reading and not reviewing all this time because I didn't want to waste any time, but I think not reviewing this chapter would be a sin of unspeakable proportions!
Can I even describe how much you've hooked me to this story??? Believe me, that should say a lot, because in the past two-three years I've been reading a fic per six months, and honestly, I haven't read anything for the past year or so. I was in for a good read so I checked the Dobbys, so I found your story and BOY! I love it! LOVE LOVE LOVE!
It's so realistic it's unbelievable!!! Well... apart from the fact that they walk around with wands and Maps, but character-wise and emotion-wise is just perfect and I applaud you for that!!
Can I say I am in love with Sirius? Well, I think that goes without saying!
Ok, I'm going to read the rest of the chapters, I can't stop NOW, can I? :DAuthor's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!
First of all, don't apologise for not reviewing before this chapter - a lot of people don't write one at all or, if they do, they do it for the last chapter, so getting this one was kind of like a special treat for me. :) It is a pretty major chapter in the story though so I'm very pleased that you thought it was appropriate to recognise it.
I'm also really chuffed that you find it all believable because that was one of my main gripes with the fanfics that I was reading before I wrote this - everythign happened too quickly and didn't feel realistic. Girl goes from having no friends to being buddy-buddy with the Marauders within a week? Sorry, school doesn't work that way, at least not in my experience. So I'm very pleased that you agree that a slower build-up for a relationship is worth doing.
Thanks again, Mel :) Report Review
A great chapter, as usual :)
It doesn't cease to amaze me how you get inside their heads so well without making it sound clishe and is totally believable. A question, though. I remember you writing a chapter from Sirius's PoV. I understand it is more difficult to write instead of Dee (whom we all know and love :P), but I think that was one of your best chapters. Will we get to see what is Sirius thinking any time soon??? :D Report Review
I wanted to smack Ray against the head! (Hands off of her, you girlfriend-thief! And I'll ignore the fact that she is Sirius's ex...) ... despite the fact that it was SHE who kissed him...
But then his whole talk just made me like him! And that should say a lot, since I felt like kicking the computer every time he showed up. I am not joking.
And was that Sirius who saw them? And the noise was due to his bike? Oh God... that makes things ALL TOO COMPLICATED for Dee, and I am starting to think her life is just a big mess of Murphy's law.
Anyway, 10/10 (duh) and can't wait for the sequel. Any chance it might be up... soon? 'Soon' being... um... like... tomorrow? hahahaAuthor's Response: hahahaa, wow, that's quite an accomplishment for you to like him then, I'm glad, he means well! He was very gentlemanly! Hmm, well you'll have to wait and see won't you :) you know I wouldnt give anything away of coursee.. I wondered if that was very noticeable though. Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing, so excited for the sequel and can't wait to hear what you think of it! And as for time frames well not exactly tomorrow but I hope to be reasonably speedy (for me...) so keep an eye out! Thanks again! Report Review
As cute and nice as Ray can be, I feel like taking his head and putting it through a wall. Sorry Ray, I'm a die hard Sirius fan!
Ok, yes, true, he did wrong, but it was BEFORE they were together duh! So, one can only blame him from keeping it from Debbie, but come on! It's not like people have a list of ex'es which they give to their present girlfriends/boyfriends! Yes, I agree it makes a difference if that EX is your quasi-sister-in-law ... or something of the sort...
Point is, I like Sirius! And after all, I still root for him and Debbie. And Ray can go back being the friend. THE friend. That's it. THE friend... and Sirius can through a couple of Bludgers at him, but that's optional *angel face*
As for the PoVs, well I got so used to Debbie (she is so funny!!!), but I wouldn't mind alternating bewteen her and Sirius, as long we get inside her head often enough for me to burst out laughing at random bits.Author's Response: Haaa! Woah thats some serious love for Sirius, poor Ray getting all the hassle! But yeah. THE friend... I'll take it on board! Just so no one's heads get put through no walls. And yeah, Dee's being a bit of a mug about it all. It's just that her brother was in love with Marlene (no matter what a psychobitch she was being) and Sirius not only ruined that for Freddie, but then knew that he had to keep it from Dee to have a chance with her so to her, he was lying the whole time. Anyway. Yeah. I'm still deciding about the POVs, there are mixed opinions. I think I'm going to have to see what people think of the first chapter of the sequel and go from there... but I thnk my writing will probably be better from Dee, I'm so used to her. And I'm glad it makes you laugh!
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Oh I laughed at the Macbeth reference, it being my favorite Shakespeare play :P
Anyway, I haven't been reading much fanfiction lately but this one has surely captured my attention!
I simply adore Tiberius. And honestly, his knowledge of Muggle literature makes me drool haha... And they are so perfect with Minerva. If ONLY she just STOPPED thinking and analysing so much! GAH!Author's Response: It's hard to resist making references to Shakespeare. I don't know why, but I keep doing it in various stories. But I'm glad this one made you laugh - that's just what I was hoping for when I used it. ^_^
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing this, Ana! It's wonderful that you've found this story captivating (or capturing? something like that :P), and that you like my OC.
Haha, yes, Minerva does over-analyze. It's probably why I like writing her so much! :P Report Review
Oh. My. God.
That was beautiful. I absolutely loved it. The emotions were present in every single word. They just flowed from your amazing writing to us, your readers.
It was heartfelt. I could almost feel his loss. Most people have lost someone and I think we can all relate.
I felt as if there is more to this, but this was just enough. Not too long and not too short.
Amazing read. :D Report Review
I am sure you've heard this before, but An attraction between us is as unlikely as Dumbledore being gay! totally cracked me up! haha
Great chapter! :DAuthor's Response: Dear Anna_Black,
Thank you so much!
Your Obedient Servant,
The Phantom Report Review
Intense mystery and the first prime suspect is here! Hmmm... Hagrid? Well, of course Draco would first blame someone who isn't pure blood and all. :D
I loved this chapter. Teddy (lol) is getting more and more into the story. There is gore, mystery, fainting even! haha I love it! Poor kids, and poor Lily!
Amazing! Was this seriously a filler?? Hmmm... I didn't notice! :PAuthor's Response: So it's not filler-esque? That's great, because I was worried about this chapter. It didn't seem like it had enough to it. :/ But I was wrong (usually am with telling how good a chapter/story is), which is a good thing. :P
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review! I'm really glad that you enjoyed this chapter. ^_^ Report Review
Hmmm... this chapter was kinda slow, but I guess it is only an introduction to the following chapters ;).
As you know, I love Salazar's parts, and I am glad that you got a bit inside his head towards the beginning, and even the fact that he didn't want war at first. I guess that doesn't make him a complete villain, does it? Ah well, I am still hoping he will see the error in his ways.
BUT him being evil so fun, so I hope even more that if he sees the error in his ways, he'll do that much later lol.
So, now I am having this brainstorm: what if Salazar kidnaps Scarlet? Mwahaha
Evilness all around :D
Can't wait for the next update! Report Review
NO! You can't stop there! It's not fair... *sulks*
Update pretty please? :D Report Review
Ah you can't stop now! I can't wait to hear what happens next! When will be the next update? :DAuthor's Response: Thanks very much! ^_^ I'm glad you're enjoying it.
The next update will come hopefully before the end of the month. I'm working on it now. Report Review
An update! *jumps around excitedly*
A great chapter - no arguing there :D. So, more of Salazar? I just love his parts, you write him so well! He seems so in character, just like I imagine him to be. Arrogant, cold and cruel. Hmmm... does that make him too evil? Ah well, he is Salazar Slytherin after all.
And poor Freya! She has to marry someone she has not known and have his child? *gasp* Well, at least Edward seems like a good person. So, he has been told about the plan, but Freya has been kept in the dark... why is that? Or, maybe it will be revealed in the next chapters?
I must say I don't like Rowena. She is so... rigid! I prefer Helga and Godric, of course ;).
When is the next update? *is hopeful*Author's Response: Hahah, yesss, indeed. =D
Why thank you! (: Oh yes, much more - I have many things planned for him. Thank you; I actually find it quite hard to write him, so thats very encouraging! Ahh, now... his evilness; there is going to be a little insight into all that in one of the following chapters (unless I change my mind which I dont think I shall)
Oh I dont like Rowena either... Thats why she's so awful, hahaha. I shouldnt let my feelings against Founders control my writing.
Soon, hopefully! I'm currently writing a few chapters of different stories at once, so I'm not too sure. Report Review
This was so fast paced I had to stop myself from scrying down to see how it ends! I must say I resisted the temptation lol!
The beginning was Salazar was so compelling. I could picture the room, the wizards gathered around the table (they were wizards, right?), and finally - Salazar's powerful appearance in the room. I love your writing. It is so informative and rich. :D
I also really liked the second part with the Riders. So, it was them who were chasing Edward... ok, makes sense. I wonder how will Salazar react, though :P.
I can't wait to read more about Salazar - his part is so cool! I love him! I don't think I should, though, cause he is evil but there you go... hahaAuthor's Response: Hahaha, I'm glad you liked it! I actually thought this chapter was rather boring...
A majority of them were Wizards but some were Elves, etc.
Why thank you. (:
I'm really glad it make sense, it would make things complicated otherwise, lol. Dont we all?
I love Salazar too - I have a thing for Slytherin bad boy's, I'm not sure why.
Thank you for reviewing, again!
xxx Report Review
Finally you guys posted the next (and last) chapter! I thought you had forgotten about this! *hides* haha
Anyways, I really liked it, especially how you wrapped things up. No loose ends, a great and fun adventure with three... well, FOUR generations... a GREAT story! Report Review
Intriguing... I like it! This chapter had a slower pace but was just as good as the first one. I especially liked the way you described the relation between Freya and Scarlet, the way Scarlet was to make Freya believe her everything she said. But Scarlet's questioning at the end about the whole plan they had kept secret from Freya makes me wonder if she'll eventually give up and tell Freya everything. That would be a nice twist! haha
And I already like Edward. He seems brave and a good character but I guess we'll see that in later chapters. He is a Man, right?
So, if the whole pact is honoured, as in, Men, (Wizards?), Elves and Dwarves unite, I wonder how will that happen, what with the dispute between the Elves and the Dwarves, lol!
I am also very curious about Salazar as he is the only Founder that hasn't appeared yet.
Well, this is a really interesting story and I think it is really sad that you have so few reviews here. This has a lot of potential: the story line, the naration... everything fits so well!
This is going to my favourites and can't wait for an update! :DAuthor's Response: Why thank you. (:
Yes, it would make a nice twist wouldnt it? But, who knows.. Scarlet could tell Freya and be too late to change things or she could tell her and set everything into chaos. ;)
Yes, Edward's a Man. A lovely lovely lovely man in my opinion.
Salazar will play a bigger part in later chapters. Right now, explaining everything with Freya, Scarlet and the Founders is quite important.
Thank you! Oh yes.. Few reviews do sadden me but hey, haha.
:o Wow! Thank you! Report Review
Oh. My. God.
I am speechless! This is so good! I'd better not start telling you how amazing this is cause I won't make it justice, but I'll try!! ;)
Ok, first: the description of the dress and the clothes in general was so good! You really have a hang for descriptions, I really love them! They get you in the mood so much!
Then, the whole encounter with the Founders was nicely conveyed and I could easily picture everything that was going on very easily.
And the final scene with Edward and the rest was very tense which I absolutely loved! It was fast-paced, but just to right amount to keep the reader alert for every single detail!
I think you've picked a really good time of the Founders' story to start. You immediately pull the reader in the plot and it's character and in a very clear and not confusing way, and I congratulate you for that! Plus, the idea about incorporating the Elves and other LotR's creatures is very well thought out.
I can't say more since this is the beginning, but it is an amazing and extremely promissing beginning.
Am off to read the next chapter!! :DAuthor's Response: Ohmygod. I LOVE YOU. hahaha. seriously.
Thank you! Descriptions means alot to me. I hate when you find stories with little or no description of the clothing, so you have to use your imagination for that. And I just had exactly what she would look like and wear in my head, I just HAD to right them down.
Really? Wow. Thank you! Haha. Thats exactly what I was going for.
Again, thank you. (I really do love you.)
I will love you forever. Really. This review has made me really happy! :D
OMG that was beautiful! I could almost feel the pain Lily was feeling when he didn't remember anything! Normally, I would be raging 'how could Sirius do that to James' but I won't do it here cause I loved this too much for that! :D:D Amazing!Author's Response: Thank you! (hello, by the way!)
What a lovely review. I really appreciate that, especially from you - I mean, you're a fabulous writer!
mx Report Review
Sorry for taking so long but believe it or not, I got 'caught up' lol!
Anyways, I am glad you posted in my thread; this looks like a very interesting story. Like I already mentioned, I haven't read anything similar, so this is something new for me, and very interesting.
Now, to the chapter itself. First of all, I loved how you showed that Lily is still a small child when voicing her thoughts, for example like my nose would grow like Pinocchio. Your style is very informative, which I really like. The dialogue was also very well done.
I am really curious what Lily actually did with that curse; did her Grandma really leave forever of she'll be back after some point?
The beginning is really interesting and really got me captivated. 8/10 Report Review
That was really sweet. A nice one-shot to make your day, lol! It really flowed well, and I especially loved the dialogue - it was very natural.
The flash-back was a bit weird (haha) but I liked it - it was fun to read.
Your OC seems a nice character but since this is a one-shot I can't make any other comments.
All in all, I really liked this! 7/10Author's Response: Yay!!! Thanks so much for the review!!! I actually plan on makin' a whole, long story with her in it!! I have all the major milestones in her life all planned out!! ^-^ Thanks again!!!! Report Review
That was one cool tryout! Ella is just so... alive! I don't think there is any other word that would describe her personality better! She is always talkative, so impulsive and so funny! She is really one of the best OCs I've ever read, and I've read a lot!
I really can't wait to see where this story is going. You mentioned in one of the responses to my older reviews that you are going to guide her through her Hogwarts life and such, which makes me wonder: how much of her story have you developed?!?! Hahaha - it takes a great deal of imagination to complete all of it, and if you've done it... well, congratulations! haha You are a really talented writer!Author's Response: How much? well that's a good question. I know how her story ends and I have little plotlines that I plan to thread into the story concerning minor OCs and major OCs, Marauders and Ella's role in the group, etc., but it's going to take a lot longer to get there then even I can imagine. It's like tryign to drive across America, but only thinking about the landmarks you'd see instead of the hundreds of miles in between each one. It's going to take a verrryyy long time. Luckily I have an outline for the first year! :)
Oh yeah and I'm glad you love Ella so much :D
~ Caroline Report Review
Here as promised to review!!! Well, congratulations - 200 reviews!! That is, if nobody else beat me to it!!
I loved the chapter as usual! I really liked how the boys reacted when they saw Ella, and I kept laughing at their comments. But most of all, Lily totally cracked me up - Girls and boys do NOT spend the night with each other! I laughed out loud at this one. hahaha
Well, off to review the next chapter!!Author's Response: xD you're my 230th review, actually. But you still get props for that. :)
Lily and the boys... they don't know what hit 'em when Ella moved to England. :D
~ Caroline Report Review
Oh that was so sweet!! *jumps around and claps hands excitedly* Am I being childish? Of course I am, but this is just so good!! Ha! So you are building the suspense!! You are so mean *glare* but I forgive you, don't worry ;)!
As usual, I absolutely adored this chapter! It was the cutest ever! Makes me wonder if they are FINALLY (I might add) going to kiss the next day.
Well, am off to read the next chapter. Wait a minute... there is NO next chapter!! *burst out crying* so update fast, ok? *grin*Author's Response: Thanks! And I'm glad you forgive me! Ah-ha! They might! You'll just have to wait and see :) I'll try and update soon :)
Thank you soo much for all the wonderful reviews you have left me and I'm really glad I posted in your thread this morning: you've made my day :) Thank you! Report Review
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