Reading Reviews From Member: Ydnas Odell
  
600 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ydnas OdellPawns: An Invitation

14th September 2013:
Very well done. It is a shame you abandoned this. You write way better than most.

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Review #2, by Ydnas OdellFaye Aldea: The Case of the Missing Witches: Prologue

14th September 2013:
Wow. I know that you haven't had a review yet, but that is more a function of this site being visited a whole lot less often then it used to be. I'm one of those sometime visitors who still pop in from time to time and like to read excellent fics, of which this is one.

I've read hundreds of stories on this site, and although maybe this isn't the most unusual idea, it does have a very different main character and an interesting premise (Faye writing things down to remember why she is risking life and limb to be a hero).

I do have one question though? How does Faye have the last name: 'Aldea', when her parents last names are both different. I don't know how the Arabic naming system works. Also, some old women wouldn't have the first name of 'Kali'. That is to modern, something like 'Babs' or Wilma would be better. She needs a dated first name, but I'm a stickler on names. Otherwise, I really like this story and hope you continue to write it. It is great. I rated it 10/10!

Author's Response: First of all, thanks for the review. It made me very happy :D
I was beginning to think this story is no good, even though I love it (and Faye) to bits.
Faye is a British and Japanese through her mother, while she is Arabic through her father. In Arabic society, women keep their maiden names, that's why Hanako is still Toshiyuki and not a Al-Muhattim. When Hanako wanted to register Faye and subsequently her other children as British citizen, she wrote "Aldea" instead of Al-Muhattim in their birth forms. Similarly, Hanako is actually an "Aldea" in her British Passport while her last name is Toshiyuki in the Japanese passport. So in the end Faye has actually three names until she is an adult. In other words, when Faye is eighteen years old, she has to cancel either her Arabic citizenship (I am thinking of making her Kuwaiti) or her Japanese Citizenship, since both countries do not allow dual citizenship. She can keep her British Citenship though because UK allows people to have more than one nationality. These laws are confusing xD
To put this more simply, let's see how Faye's name is spelled in her three passports:
Japanese: Toshiyuki Fai
British: Faye Aldea
Arabic: Fai Joseph Al-Muhattim.
I know it's possible because I have two different surnames, one in my Japanese Passport and the other in my US Passport.
The reason I named Kali that is because Kali is an Indian goddess of death and time, which I felt is fitting because of, you know, how ancient Babblewinks is. Babblewinks refers to the woman's tendency to babble: To talk foolishly or idly, and winks refers to her power hungry nature. You know, women who wink at rich, powerful men just because of their money?
Thanks for reading and rating it! I really appreciate it :D
I hope I can continue to entertain you with my writing :)


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Review #3, by Ydnas OdellCalling: Calling

28th July 2013:
Well done. Very exceptional written. Added to my favorites.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it ♥

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Review #4, by Ydnas OdellPerception: Reality's Duplicity

8th February 2013:
This was interesting. Basically a Cho ruined by the war. Well written and confusing. I think the confusing throws people off (unfortunately most poeple don't like to read things they can't readily understand) but its fits with the confused mind of Cho. She seems to blame all her misery on Cedric and associate him with the Dark Lord. I thought there might be some time travel involved, but I'm not sure.

Who is the letter from? It was good to leave that mystery. It sad she thinks no one will write her.

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Review #5, by Ydnas OdellFirearms: Prologue

1st February 2013:
Wonderful. Ilove this! You write battles well.

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Review #6, by Ydnas OdellThe Fighter: The Contender

26th September 2012:
This is actually quite good, i enjoyed it and there is not another fic on the site like it, I'm sure of it. I tried once to find a Dudley boxing fic, but no one had ever written one and this isn't that...but its the closest I've seen. And its good.

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Review #7, by Ydnas OdellRemnants: Prologue: The remnants of a war

19th September 2012:
This is already much better writing then most on this site. The prologue is intriguing. This goes into my favorites for tracking. I really want to see who this bad guy is. Good job.

Author's Response: thanks! It's nice to hear my writing is good as it's something I hope to have as an career anyway...
as for the bad guy... you'll know (someday hahah)
thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by Ydnas OdellFor Hannah: Prologue

18th September 2012:
I like this. It's a really good idea. I like the tone and style of the writing.

Author's Response: Yay Thank you! I appreciate that so much! :D

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Review #9, by Ydnas OdellSaving the World: Dobby's Grave

18th September 2012:
Wow. I've got to favorite this one. What a cliffhanger. You write well.

Author's Response: omg, thank you so much for favoriting. Definitely don't deserve it.

Cliffhangers


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Review #10, by Ydnas OdellThe Chimera Club: The Third Generation: The Knight Bus

27th September 2011:
This is a promising start. Very interesting main character and I love the first few paragraphs. Very well written. I look forward to more.

Author's Response: Thank you.

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Review #11, by Ydnas OdellThe Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven: Act I

27th September 2011:
This is from a Shakespeare play or the idea is taken? Which one? I was never an English major?

Anyway, this is wonderful, as are most things you write. And different. There is nothing quite like a forsakenphoenix story.

Author's Response: Haha, I'm the farthest you can be from an English major too. The idea is based on the play, Hamlet, by Shakespeare. Mostly the idea of an uncle poisoning the main character's father to take the throne.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I know you've been reading my stories for a while so it's nice to see you pop in for a review. :)


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Review #12, by Ydnas OdellOh, Hermione!: My Mum

24th September 2011:
This is very well done! I like it a lot.

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #13, by Ydnas OdellWhere Angels Fear to Tread: Chapter 1

1st September 2011:
I like this a lot. It's well written and a novel idea!

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Review #14, by Ydnas OdellMrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter: Mrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter

8th August 2011:
I like this...I never heard of the song though! This is a nice and well written little fic.

Author's Response: why thank you! i'm glad you liked it x

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Review #15, by Ydnas OdellBurns Like Timber: I.

2nd August 2011:
I normally hate Lily fics! But this story has the best 'tag line' ever and is destinated (if you finish it) to be a Harry Potter fanfic classic.

It has the prefect tone. Funny, although I suspect darker further along. Awesome first chapter.

Also, I had forgotten that Hogwarts had Mermaids.

Author's Response: thank you so much! :) i'm really glad you enjoyed it. and wow! a HPFF classic? thank you!! i really hope so!

I was actually aiming for funny with ominous tones, I'm glad it came through. Thank you sooo much for your review!


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Review #16, by Ydnas OdellThe Next Generation: Teddy, Lily and Letters

2nd August 2011:
This is wondeful. I wonder if they reallly went to that field to play Quidditch or wheather they are hiding a darker secret? Hmn. Well done!

Author's Response: We'll have to see. :) And thank you for the review.

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Review #17, by Ydnas OdellThe Next Generation: Footprints in the Night

31st July 2011:
This is quite fun! Great characterizations. I wonder whatg you have in store?

This story works well, but is a little bland in the sense that the writing is very restrained. Try to be a little more poetical, especially with the opening paragraph.

Writings more fun that way.

Author's Response: Thank you and I'll try my best. I plan on going back a rewriting the first chapter or my "introduction" to the story but I don't know when that'll be. Hopefully, after I get the plot more set in stone. :)

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Review #18, by Ydnas OdellTHE BALL OF DARKNESS: Where am I??????

25th July 2011:
Well done! Excellent!

Author's Response: Thank you that's high praise. Please feel free to read what I've posted so far of my other stories, there are one or two updates to come for them. Also please look out for a new short story (going through validation) called Ade's magical awakening. Prequel to Son of Potter vs Son of Bellatrix. Thanks again for taking the time to leave a message. Happy reading.

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Review #19, by Ydnas OdellShot of Light: Attack

30th August 2010:
This is wondeful. I like how you worked in Parvati as a friend.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you!

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Review #20, by Ydnas OdellHogwarts, A New History: Chapter One: After the Battle of Hogwarts

24th August 2010:
This is very nicely done. You have a very nice sense of character and place.

Author's Response: Thank you.

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Review #21, by Ydnas OdellPest Control: Fact and Fiction

14th August 2010:
It took me two paragraphs of the intro, not even the story to decide that your the best writer I've ever seen here - . If the two characters you started with here are your creations and not Terry P's that is.

I've never seen anyone on this site so capable of creating characters, if these are yours..hell, if these are yours you are close to the best writer I've ever read period and I read about 50 novels a year (I'm a train commuter).

If not, well, you still plagerize well, which is an admirable and valuable skill of writers and not just fanfic writers. All the best stuff is some sort of spun plagerization redetailed.

Author's Response: Sorry for the lateness of the reply >.< But if it makes up for it, YOUR REVIEW JUST MADE MY DAY!

OMG Thank you for that compliment! Seriously! I - floored and can't complete sentences-

Yes, the two main characters are all mind. In fact, they are all my OCs (except for Spavin, who is actually canon in name but practically OC in characterization). Terry Pratchett is more of a style/tone inspiration for me. How he meshes adventure and humor so well. Of course, I'll never be able to measure up to that, but your compliment makes me feel like I'm not shaming him as much as I think I am.

Again, thanks so much! ILY!


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Review #22, by Ydnas OdellShot of Light: Mimbulus Mimbletonia

14th August 2010:
This is compelling and easy to read. You have an excellent flow to your writing style. The dialogue seems real. All the characters seem canon. You've also clearly read the book closely.

I really enjoyed the scene in the greenhouse. That was a superb peice of writing.

The only criticism maybe, is that the emotions seem a little dull. You haven't really dialed into the immediacy of Hannah's head. Maybe because you're rushing through the years so much.

Next chapter, I assume, Hannah's mother is killed. So that should be an emotional chapter.

Definitely the best Hannah/Neville fic I've read so far.

Author's Response: Ooooh, thank you, I do love constructive criticism!
First of all, thank you very much, I tend to pride myself on sticking to canon... er, usually. I'm not sure about superb, but thank you.
Next, I'll just say that, yes, I am rushing through the years so much. Sorry about that. My idea was that most of this would take place in 7th year and afterwards, so I was just trying to develop the initial friendship first of all so that it didn't seem such a spontaneous relationship.
I read this review after I wrote the next chapter (because I didn't think anybody would be kind enough to leave anything!) so I hope I've done the emotions justice.
Yes - spoilers - Hannah's mother is killed in the next one. Since I've never lost a close family member, it was difficult to write, but again I admit it may have been a little rushed.
But thank you again, I hope the next is better!


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Review #23, by Ydnas OdellShot of Light: Disarmed

14th August 2010:
I like this. Its simple, well paced. It really does fell like its Hannah speaking.

Just double space it please, to make it easier to read.

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Review #24, by Ydnas Odell3.2.1. The Clock Is Ticking: So the countdown begins

13th August 2010:
You know what, this is really high concept. I love it -- Death in Digital Runes. Except, it really needs editing. This chapter needs maybe five more drafts.

This is like looking at a partially carved statue, there is a lot of junk marble still there. Work on writing each sentence as clear as possible, chisel and cut away, don't worry about description to much. Use verbs more than adjectives.

Give us the core. This has the potential a to be great. It is surely unique.

Looking forward to more.

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Review #25, by Ydnas OdellUnexpected : Unexpected

12th August 2010:
Interesting missing moment fic. Well done. McGonagall seems to be fun to write, you certainly did some strong stuff with her here.

Author's Response: Thanks muchly! I'm glad that you liked it. Yes, she's one of my favorite characters - so I suppose I did have some fun with her.

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