Reading Reviews From Member: crimson quill
91 Reviews Found

Review #1, by crimson quillHolly Fest : Camp Wotter (Part One)

8th June 2017:
So I'm here to give this fic so much deserved love! I really like the concept of this piece, it's so interesting and different which is so refreshing. the whole concept of holly fest is awesome!

I really adore how this fic is so uncensored you know? All your drugs references are clear, it really adds to the vibes that you're going for in this story. It was so good, it's not sugar-coated. It makes for a really fun story!

your characterisation is so strong, I really love your descriptions of Lorcan, looking like a bug. He seems really fun but I like this 'voice of reason' role that he has going on as Alisa obviously trust him. I think his character is really promising. I really enjoy the contrast between him and Lysander too. It works nicely.

I thought the dialogue between James and Elena was brilliantly played like I really felt that their relationship is really fun. The banter between them really creates their chemistry as a couple. I think your dialogue and interaction between your characters is a real strength in your writing.

I really like Alisa's attitude, she's really carefree but she's really such aware of her flaws too which is interesting. I though it was great how you've played Dom, using her veela charms to creates this enchantress vibes! she's going to be a trouble maker for ALisa! I do like how Alisa's sexuality is quite free like she's not really defining herself and it's really brought up naturally.

I'm so excited about getting Albus into this story, I love Al as a character so I can't wait to see how you write him. I know all the chemistry is going to be electric! great job with this! xo

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it and it means a lot that you left such a long, nice review! :)
I'm also pleased to know that you like the fact that I don't sugarcoat my drug references. The substance use is going to be a big part of the story because I am writing a fic that is set in an alternative culture where drug use is a very prevalent, and I know some people will not like this story because of that. I'm glad that you can appreciate the fact that I'm not going to just frost over it.

James and Elena are some of my favorite so far. They're a fun fiery little couple that will both have a lot to offer to the story. And I'm sure that you'll definitely love Albus. I can't wait to introduce him.

Thanks so much again and stay tuned :)

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Review #2, by crimson quillTransition: Transition

4th June 2017:
Transferred from hpft

Hello Vilja,

So I'm here to review your entry for my strong female challenge. This challenge is all about the characterisation of your leading lady and how the events that led her to be 'strong'.

I thought it was a brave choice to choose (nearly) an OC for the challenge as you have to create her back story and everything from scrap but it really does open up lots of different opportunities for characterisation which is quite exciting!

So I enjoyed some of what you've done with Mafalda had some really good aspects of her personality which is going to work really well for 'not my house' challenge. I liked the fact that she was adventurous and pretty arrogant. She's a Slytherin for sure! I'm a bit confused as early in the story you've written that the book doesn't allow Mafalda's name written so how does she end up at Hogwarts? How would they know to send her a letter? I'm just wondering the significance of this? you don't really explain what it is about her that means the book wouldn't allow her to be entered. it's a bit confusing I guess?

I loved the bit about the car, it's a very neat idea! Mafalda certainly has a thirst for knowledge! she's very clever. I thought it was interesting that she found out about Bellatrix's pregnancy but the ending felt a bit blunt like there needs to be more. What is Mafalda going to do with this information? it doesn't feel like an ending if you understand me? I would love to know more about that (same for the draco secret)! they're both juicy secrets!

you've shown Mafalda as having some strong female traits like her willingness to stand up to classmates when she's called mudblood by them, she's not afraid to be herself which is nice. So good work!

Thank you for entering my challenge, I should have the results up soon.

- Abbi xo

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Review #3, by crimson quillSocial Darwinism: The Happening That Happened When the Queen Got Drunk + A Food Fight That Ends in War

30th May 2017:

I'm here to review for my girl, Maxima! I don't even need to tell you what a fan I am of her. I adore her so much, I think you're doing a great job at fleshing her out as a character. One of the main things which I really enjoy about Maxima's chapters is we always find out new information about her and see her character change and develop. you're doing a great job with them!

I have to just fan girl about Max/Albus this chapter like OMG, serious development in their relationship! I can't believe it but I love it at the same time! she's clearly a bit of obsessed with him which I'm personally thrilled about. I'm hardcore shipping them for ages so yay, now the difficult thing is getting her to ever realise/admit her feelings for him! I really love how Albus has those two sides to him like shy/awkward but then this strong willed side. It was quite sad that he just wants her to love him. I hope in time that he can feel her love in return. I don't know what I think about her cheating on Troy, it's bad I guess but terribly I ship Maxbus? Alaxima? whatever we're calling them too hard to care! oops!

So a word on Max's father, it sounds like he has paranoid schizophrenia more than bi-poplar. He would having a pretty bad bi-poplar meltdown and must be totally off his meds for that happen. This type of behaviour would be more common in people who haven't been diagnosed with the condition or have any idea how to control it. It was very hard hitting though and really made me feel with Max so I look forward to following this story line. Is Max's dad like this of the time? as you mention how much money he puts into the school and how rich/influential he is. I know her family is old money though so might explain that more. xo

Author's Response: Hi fellow Maxima fan! So so glad you reviewed for Maxima, because it's nice to find someone who loves her as much as I do!

I'm so glad you pointed out the growth aspect, because that's always the way I humanize her to other people whenever they say they don't like her! I say, "But can't you see how wonderful she's going to be later?" Ha ha!

Eek!! Yes, Maxima and Albus are so wonderful aren't they? I just love their relationship, but I have a lot in store for them, so don't get too comfortable! I'm so glad you also noticed Albus' characterization, because it's one of my favorite things about him. It's like he's fighting so hard not to be like his father, but he still ends up going back to those inherited patterns which is very obvious in his temper. And yes even though I love Albus/Max, Troy is still a big part of Maxima's life, so just stick around to see where it goes! ;)

Okay thank you so much for clearing this up! I tried my best, but reading articles on the internet can only do so much and a lot of the articles were conflicting opinions! And yes, you will get a bigger picture of how this affects Maxima and her family throughout the later chapters!

Aw this review made my heart smile! Thank you so much for writing it and for reading! Hope to hear from you again!


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Review #4, by crimson quillThe Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: I.

29th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

So, I thought your main character, Lyra is so strong like she's got such a clear voice and she's crazy but I totally love this! It was really strong opening chapter because you've give any information without over loading the reader but also got my interest/attention.

I think Lyra is so believeable as a teenager, she's got a great inner monologue which is really fun. I love that albus and scorpius are together, I do love a bit of scorbus, no lie. they're beyond fluffy here too. Another thing I love about this! I've been writing too much angst recently!

So, your relationships are so great already. I'm totally enjoying the banter between the siblings. it's believable and engaging for it. it sounds like conversations I might have had with my brother when we were younger. I really like the relationships with her family which seems to be really strong and loving, it's nice.

I like that you had Lyra going off and talking about one subject like her friends then coming back to present. I imagine she is a bit scatty by the way you use her inner monologue here. I'm very interested but Lyra is going to be getting up to in this story! good job at developing some strong and promising chapters within this chapter! ;D XX

Author's Response: Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, it has been an eternity!

First of all thank you so much for reviewing, I really appreciate it. I'm really glad that you like Lyra so much, as she really is the face of the novel. I really love her, and I'm glad you do too.

I love Scorbus as well. Believe it or not, in the beginning Scorpius was with Rose, as I thought that he friends TJ and Ben rounded out the rainbow enough, but then I thought it would be fun to show the different parallels within gay relationships as they're not all the same.

I'm going to have to go creep up on your ap and read some of that angsty stuff.

I'm really glad is really all that I've been saying in this review, but I honestly am. I actually don't know how I got the banter so accurate (it seems to be the thing people comment on the most), because my older half-sister is much older and never really lived with me, so we never fought as much as traditional siblings do.

Lyra is a character who gets distracted a lot, so I'm glad that was clear, because some people find her a bit too rambley, and it's hard to explain that she eventually grows out of it without spoiling the story.

Anyways, thanks so much again for such a sweet review! I hope to reply to one of your reviews again soon.

Have a lovely day!


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Review #5, by crimson quillPartners in Crime: recruitment.

28th April 2017:
Capture The Flag,

So I love this albus you've created, that he's young, free and rather aimless for this time in his life. I adore the first line of this because it somehow seems so true you know? it got my interest anyway! I want to see where this is going, it's a scorbus yes? hope so!

I love the brotherly relationship between James and Albus from the short amount of dialogue between them that I find really realistic. it's fun and a bit silly - they're teasing each other but it's pretty obvious that they care? it's almost cute so I can't wait to see more of that relationship that they have going!

I already really love the interaction between them Albus/Scorpius, the dialogue just stands out as being quite witty/banter-ish which I like so I think you've done a good story at creating chemistry between the two characters so that's really working at this story. I can't wait to see what's going to happen in this partnership because it's so promising at the moment! your character relationships are so strong from just one chapter so I'm looking forward to seeing all this develop into the main plot/mystery! good job xo

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Review #6, by crimson quillRed Silk: A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

28th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

I thought this worked really well, I was really impressed what you've managed to create in such a short amount of words. you manage to develop Dominique's character too. I really like the concept that they were ruling the school, it's basically in my head canon that they would be doing this but it's like dom wants what she can't have almost.

the description of Imogen's hair was amazing, I really enjoyed that imagery that you've created with your words. it really brings the piece to life in my opinion. it's perfectly positioned within the story too. I love Imogen as a character from the short amount of dialogue. she seems interesting and sassy, I loved the wink and the suggestive ending 'are you brave enough?' - oh it's so teasing and it'll really making me wonder what happened next.

did Dominique get the girl?! I really have to know this information now as after only 500 I'm deeply invested in them as a couple. I like how you were able to tie in the name of the story with your story. that's a really cute little touch. you've done a really great job at creating an interesting pairing and using description to engage me in this short chapter! xo

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Review #7, by crimson quillThe Ten Year Anniversary of Dumbledore's Army: Before the Party

28th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

So I thought this sounded like such a cool concept from the summary. I really enjoyed this first chapter of this. I don't think that hannah gets enough love as a character so I'm really pleased that she's getting her own little story here.

I really liked the characterisation for hannah, she comes across quite hufflepuff-y (thats not a word but you know..) which is a good thing. I like you have written her with people pleasing characteristics, little details like how she's embarrassed about being early and stuff. she's cute.

I basically love that hermione is terrible at cooking because I've always thought that one thing hermione would probably be simply horrible at is cooking. I don't know why but I can't imagine hermione doing much homemaking stuff so wasn't she lucky that super hannah were there to save dinner. lol.

I liked the little mentions like albus being born as harry is busy, how george and angie made dessert so thats probably one to avoid. I'm really interested to see where the rest of this story is going because I've really enjoyed this introduction to the story. good job! xo

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Review #8, by crimson quillActions Speak Louder than Words: Back to the Beginning: Rose POV

26th April 2017:
Jail Break

So I'm moving around the story again so this chapter gives me a whole new light on the story for me. I rather shocking one. this was a very emotional chapter which your writing shows clearly from the moment the chapter opens.

'I was momentarily confused until it all came crashing back on me' - this line is so simple but really intense! Rose had been through so much but she shows that she has such strength of character here. I thought you wrote the whole chapter with sensitive themes in a really good way that it was heartbreaking for Rose but it seems respectful? it's a really important balance when writing stuff like this.

my love for Scorpius is still the same. I really enjoyed him again in this chapter. MY FAVE CHARACTER. wow, I didn't mean that to be in caps but you know? it kinda works! haha.

I think the scene with Harry is very well done to I think the characterisation for harry with his reaction/concern was really on point. I think harry is quite difficult to get right but I felt this scene worked for the story! So the plot thickens!! good job with the chapter, emotionally it was spot on. xo

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Review #9, by crimson quillActions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Fate: Scorpius POV

26th April 2017:
Jail Break for Sian.

So, this chapter has given me more to think about! I'm only just discovering about the prophecy so it add another layer to the story so very interesting! I enjoyed the contrast between the last two chapters with a fluff chapter then now more dramatic chapter.

I thought Ron's reaction was so in character. you really rocked that characterisation in this chapter for him. I loved the awkwardness for him and the mild rage :P that all worked so well! They all took the news better than I thought really! I love the fact Scorpius again being so awesome and his protectiveness over baby/rose is adorable! the speech about not stressing out Rose was amazinggg. I just love him so much!

I thought your choice to do split point of views is really interesting choice but it works really well. it's not often that male's pov is really addressed too much but it's really great for creating a two sided relationship in much more detail. I love that both of them are being developed fully as characters in this story.

I haven't been reading from the start so I'm interested to see where prophecy stuff is leading to as that's grabbing my attention now as I'm slightly confused, hopefully i can figure it out! great chapter! xo

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Review #10, by crimson quillActions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Hope: Rose POV

26th April 2017:

Hello! I'm not the hunt for a flag but I couldn't be in a better story to hunt for it, I love next gen so I'm happy! yay! So i'm reading out of order so sorry about that!

So, I love the fluff in this chapter, it really works for me as a reader to have this scene so goregously fluffy!!

Scorpius is so cute in this chapter, I'm loving how supportive and excitable he is! It's so new dad behaviour! baby is going to be very lucky to have him around! the way you write him is so beautiful here, my heart is basically bursting as I'm so in love with him rn. he is the star of this chapter for me though maybe it should be the baby or even Rose. don't care, love scorpius!

I think you do a great job with the characterisation for Rose too, I love how Rose is still really sassy and sarcastic even while her head is in a toilet! ha ha! she's obviously a really strong character.

it's quite late on the story for her to having her 13 weeks appointment which makes me feel like I've missed quite build up to these scenes but it's really nice to see them as a couple in a good place for these scenes.

I just can't get over the fluffy feels for this chapter. you've captured all the first time emotions for this scan perfectly I think. I think the next chapter may prove to be more dramatic though! xo

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Review #11, by crimson quillSleep Without Pain: Sleep Without Pain

26th April 2017:

So, I've heard a lot about your stories before Crookshanks' stories so it's great that I'm here to read! I think this is simply a wonderful idea that you've had! it's so unique, I love to know how you came up with this idea because it's so interesting that I've never seen anything quite like this! it's a wonderful concept. angst from a cat?

the emotions from Crookshanks are amazingly played. I'm so impressed by the way you've written this. It's so sad that he is dying, the way you describe that pain is so heartbreaking as it seems the end is near but it's still feel quite realistic? if there is a way to write realistically from the pov of a dying cat then you've managed it anyway!

I'm so obsessed with the Ron mention in this story about how he use to send his patronus to play with him is SOSOSO perfect. I love that idea so much and how he says 'silver dog with no smell' is so cute. I like that he is thinking back to 'happier days'. I also like that Luna is the one there when he dies. I can just imagine that all animals just love her so it seems very fitting.

well done on this piece - it's unique and plays the emotions so wonderfully! I can't wait to read more from you. I'm going to be putting some more of your writing on my after ctf reading list! xox

Author's Response: I love cats and I love to watch them and try to figure out what they're thinking, so my cat/kneazle stories came from that. I think this stoy came from my worry about one of my own cats who had IBD and was very sick for a while, but is now well controlled on medicine.

I'm glad that you like the way that Crookshanks's voice comes through. I tried very hard to make him seem like an old man who was in pain and was looking forward to his eternal rest.

I'm really glad this piece spoke to you as it's directly from my heart and I'm happy it is so well received.

Ah, Ron often gets short shrift in stories, just a jerk or comic relief, but he's actually so much more. Underneath his unthinking exterior where he spouts off without thinking, he's a very caring person and I can see him claiming to hate the cat, then playing with him behind Hermione's back. I think she would know but not confront him about it.

Thanks so much for the review and the kind words.

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Review #12, by crimson quillProtector of Mankind: Ah, yes. I Remember Like It Was Yesterday...

26th April 2017:

So, this got my interest from the summary so I was interested to find what lie in wait for me here! this is a meaty chapter with a lot of information packed into it. what grabbed my attention from the first scene with her godmother is what she describes Lexi's parents as 'wizard/witch for the most part', I'm totally think so whats going on there?! I guess you find out a bit later in the chapter when she meant by that. I've never read a character with magical creature traits before (unless you count veela) so that'll make for some interesting storylines.

I really liked your OC, I'm a sucker for strong sassy female characters and she had in the bucket full honestly. she has a strong sense of self I think which is obvious by her reaction to meeting the golden trio! bless harry, saying that she should stay away. Lexi doesn't seem like the type to do that! ha ha.

If you wanna say having a room next to a snoring troll ‘sleeping well’…” she muttered - I think this is my favourite line because it just shows how sarcastic and sassy she is! I'm not sure where this story is going but it really have a lot of promise with the groundwork nicely laid in this chapter for the rest of the story! Where will Lexi's adventures and powers take her. I don't know?! but I want to find out! xo

Author's Response: Hey crimson quill! So sorry I'm responding to your review so late DD: I haven't been on the site. I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter of PoM. As for where Lexi's powers and adventures will take her, you'll have to read through all... *squints at the screen* 60 chapters now ^_^;;

Lexi is a someone I find the readers will either love or hate immediately because of how strong I made her personality at the start. I was in a different state of mind when I wrote it about 11 years ago. I wanted to steer away from the Veela blood aspect since it was a super popular thing to write about at the time.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. I hope you don't go blind from reading the rest.


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Review #13, by crimson quillResurrect: Vagabond Brothers

25th April 2017:

I've just been reading this now and omg, I'm so excited for this story! I love next gen stuff so this is such a treat! I love the mysterious vibes that it has going on! I have so many questions already! it's exciting as I know it's going to be amazing (no pressure! haha). I don't know anything about thor/loki as I've never seen any of it so that offers me no clues either!

Declan Blishwick?! WOW...your legacy continues! soo many feels! I really enjoyed the characterisations for the twins and Louis (my fave next-gen!!).

good luck with the challenge, can't wait to see more of this my dear :) xoxo

Author's Response: Abi!!!

Thank you so so so much for taking the time not only to read, but to review! I'm so glad you like it so far! And of course I had to include a next generation Blishwick in there ;)

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Review #14, by crimson quillPeriphery: Chapter Three

20th April 2017:
Capture the Flag,

So I'm reading out of order so I'm reviewing on this chapter but I really enjoyed myself! I haven't read any marauders stuff in ages and it felt so good reading this! I really like Chloe a lot, she's a bit shy but I felt even in this chapter she was making progress with her confidence I guess? it is developing nicely anyway!

her internal monologue is really strong like I think that it's really clear who she is as a character even if she's not quite sure as a person though. she seems she over thinks stuff a lot perhaps considering how she worries about people talking behind her back and what marlene thinks, details are what makes the characterisation so good. btw seems like her marlene are going to have a nice little friendship develop, I enjoyed that end scene!

I enjoyed your version of Sirius, I thought he came off as a bit annoying (in a good cheeky kinda way) but really quite likeable at the same time basically. it's a good balance, you've got there. I'll be good to see more of how you develop his character further.

I'm interested that she's a hufflepuff but I guess as a hufflepuff yourself you wanna represent! So this business with the slytherins she mentioned...I think maybe I'm missing something from a previous chapter but I'm interested anyway! xo

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Review #15, by crimson quillMeet Me When It Rains: Meet Me When It Rains

20th April 2017:
Capture the Flag,

So I've never really read anything before by you apart from last round ;) I'm so impressed by this one-shot. I'm not sure my words can even express how amazing this is really.

everything about this is just beautiful. I think the imagery that you've crafted with this piece is really stunning. So straight away you've set the tone and within about one sentence have created Lily. I like that you've portrayed Lily like this - she's fun, carefree and slightly kooky. I like you're imaging of her in this way as it's not often done in this way but it really works. I think what I also really enjoy about it how much thought seems to have gone into it like how you've picked out the words so they flow so nicely. It might just be that you're really talented so all these words come to naturally to you though! either way it's something a bit special.

I really feel for Remus' character in this, Lily is such a live wire. I like how you linked in the music with her fights with james/meeting with remus. It's so sad when he comes out to in the rain and she's already there with James. That's well heartbreaking as it's their 'thing'. This isn't long but it feels like it because you've manage to pack a whole story into this one-shot that is well rounded both in plot and character development. good job xo

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Review #16, by crimson quill1981: Winter

18th April 2017:
Capture the flag,

Hello my dear! So this is my favourite piece by you that I've read so far. I love the concept that you used with the season's and the 'you' tense. You have such a talent for writing Peter too!

Your first paragraph puts us straight into the action. The description you used was amazing to really set of the time of the character. All that imagery worked so well, the weather is as cold as the time they live it. I was feeling pretty bad for Peter in the torture scene that was powerful.

You've characterized all their grief so perfectly through out this whole chapter. I can really imagine Sirius trying to drown himself with drink. I'm not normally a fan of using the 2nd person storytelling but for this I thought it worked so well that it really gave the piece something extra and I felt quite emotional and it really helped me connect with those characters so much more. You've included all difference types of grief and explored them well especially as this chapter is not hugely long. I always feel so sad with these type of fics as you know how they are going to end when the author is so good that you deeply care, you know what's coming. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this piece now as it was so well written and strong starting chapter

Author's Response: Abbi!!! :D

Thank you so much for another lovely review, darling! :) I'm so glad you liked the season theme and second person POV. And well... I have a little bit of an obsession for Peter... *whistles*

Glad you liked the description, I was trying to use the coldness of winter as a methaphore for the time of war and I'm glad that worked.

I'm so glad the second person helped you connect with the characters and that you could feel their suffering and grief.

Yes, I know... it's so hard to read these stories, knowing where they are headed... but I'm glad you loved reading this and I would love to see you back here!

Thank you so much, sweety!

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Review #17, by crimson quillLiar: Gryffindors

18th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

So, I had the pleasure of writing chapter 1 already so another day I'm back for more. I thought it was a very interesting chapter for peter's character development as you've already introduced more information about Peter's family and putting in the conflict with the slyherins from a rather early age. I really like these little details which obviously very important later one.

my favourite scene from this was when peter is wanting to be in gryffindor with Remus. I think it's rather a neat little concept that Peter argued with the hat for his place in gryffindor. you're really done a great job setting all this little things up which explain aspects of his character we know from canon.

I thought his internal monologue was really good, I'm connecting with the character like I haven't in any other story so you've done a good story at getting the engagement of the readers were from unpopular character so that's impressive. I enjoyed peter striking out on his own to try to make friends with James and Sirius. you might show the slytherin side to peter with his comments about 'wanting more' friendship wise. good job xo

Author's Response: Abbi! Hello, dear!

Glad to see you back for the second chapter!

Poor Peter, his family is definitely complicated... it will have a role later on, but for now he's just a child like anyone else.

I loved writing the conversation with the Hat, and I'm glad you liked it too. I'm convinced that Peter did have some Gryffindor traits, but I'm also convinced that he wouldn't be a perfect fit, and it makes sense that his own preference would be taken into account.

I love writing Peter and his thought process, I find it fascinating. And I'm always so proud when I manage to make people feel for him, understand him, or even like him a little. Glad you could connect with him.

Thank you for the lovely review,

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Review #18, by crimson quillThe Lark and the Nightingale: Chiara Nightingale

18th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

So, here I am! So I was really interested by this story as I've never really read anything like it before so I can say it certainly didn't disappoint at getting me wanting more. I think it's such an interesting concept that Shakespeare's characters are wizards/witches. So how does it this tie into the modern (1970s) times? very unique concept so far!

I'm assuming this is obviously Remus/OC but also romeo is a werewolf too! it was quite an action packed first chapter. Poor innocent Juilet! :( I'm basically just wondering this whole chapter whats going to be going on with future chapters as I have no mind how these concepts are going to come together but I have faith that it's going to work well! you did a good job at getting emotional impact of Juliet's death though the translation of the english/italian.

I like the little bit of Chiara that got we got see in this chapter. Just setting the scene for the rest of the story in this snippet but I thought that bit with her dad at breakfast table was good, I enjoy a bit of banter with/between the parents. I think Chiara seems like a really fun character. xo

Author's Response: Hey, Abbi! You are back again! :)

Ah, so glad you are intrigued by the prologue of this! Obviously, Romeo and Juliet's backstory will have a role in the plot, but you'll need to read on to find out...

You caught me! :P (I might have a slight obsession for Remus, too...) Yes, I know... poor Juliet... as I already said, it will all get together, have faith! Glad you liked the Italian, too! (Btw, I know I already told you, but I'm so excited to learn about your Italian origins!!!)

I love Chiara's parents, too! Glad you enjoyed her introduction! :)

Hope to see you again around here, I would love to know what you think of the rest of the story!

Thank you so much for another lovely review!

Many hugs,

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Review #19, by crimson quillLying Josephine: Eye of the Storm

16th April 2017:
Capture the flag...

So this chapter had a lot of information in it. I'm reviewing out of order so sorry for that but I'm reviewing on what I know from this chapter.

so, the first half was so really nice to see some interaction between fred and Jo. especially them having a bit of friendship moment together. you use a lot of words to set the scene but it's enough to be engaging but not enough to too boring. I really enjoyed how fred was talking about his relationship with Angelina, we don't know too much about her from canon but I totally imagine her to be like you've described. I'm not sure if it was a call back to when fred and george pranked ron as a young child with the teddy changing into a spider but I thought that was a neat little reference. they have form for doing the same thing!!

at first, I didn't realise that it was a time split so I was pretty confused to why that it such a change in pace but it makes sense when I saw the time jump haha. So their conversation was super sad really when they talked about fred, all the little things. I think it's emotional when george saying how alone he was but trying to make jokes but Jo made so through them. peoples expections of him to be a certain way in grief is tough too. you played his grief well. It was a difficult revelation that she knew about fred's girlfriend and other bombshell but she was protecting george instead of fred. that's so tough, you've got all the emotions so right for this chapter. great job ox

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Review #20, by crimson quillThe Letters to No-One: The Letters to No-One

16th April 2017:
Capture The Flag

So this was intense wasn't it? it's awesome to see some insight into sirius time in azkaban from such a talent writer too!

so, you've done a great job at setting the scene with rather harrowing description of the prison. I like the concept that the stories is being told through his letters. something which I guess I didn't think about that you've mentioned is that people sirius knew would be visiting the jail like all the time. that's enough to drive anyone crazy!

I've only recently started to get into wolfstar and I really loved the mention of it here. I feel so much for them as a couple like I totally can't explain how divinely tragic they are as a couple. I want some new fluffy wolfstar stuff apart you write angst so well. it seems like you're able tap into emotions of the characters and channel them so well into your writing which makes its so bold and powerful. writing their names in his blood was insane and slightly frightening edge to how much he is cracking up in there.

it was rather mournful and sad when he tried to send that birthday card to lily. so emotional and such a well written piece xo

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Review #21, by crimson quillA way to remember: A way to remember

16th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

So, this is quite a neat little concept for this one-shot. I think you've written a lovely relationship between the two characters. Poor little teddy! It's nice to read something that it's a bit fluff as well as some sad moments.

I feel for both characters here, it's probably quite difficult for harry to know that he's doing the right thing. my heart was about to break in two when little teddy says 'why didn't they wanna to be with me then?' or something to effect. they loved you! promise, awwwh! I'm not sure what age he is suppose to be? I think at some point it says 7 years old then later 5 years old so a bit of confusion there. I think the characterisation lend more towards 5 years old opposed to 7 but i guess it could work for either really.

I think it's really special that harry can connect with teddy in a way that probably no-one else can so it's nice that harry was the one he had the conversation with. I was 'awww' ing when harry said he would put them in an album so teddy could look at all the memories. I'm glad Teddy wasn't sad by the end of this. he's lucky to have a godfather like harry and on the whole, harry did a really good job at explaining it to teddy at such a young age. xo

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Review #22, by crimson quillA Time of Heartache and Healing: Failure

16th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

So, I've not really seen anything written on such an emotional topic. I honestly hadn't given too much thought to Molly's emotional journey after the war. I really enjoyed it though, I see your wrote it for Rose so obviously see why it's so angst heavy!

This honestly had me feel really teary as I was reading. Molly's monologue is sad that she blames herself. it's not your fault Molly! it's not! I felt everything about this on a really personal level and I don't even have children. I really want to hug Molly. you've just made all the emotions in Molly's mind come to real life so realistically. it's like I can really feel her pain too.

when she say she sometimes hates george because he reminds her of fred and the life he won't have. omgomgomg, so many emotions. like that's so devastating for her to feel like this.

I thought you painted the image of them sitting on the bathroom floor holding each other crying together really well. I'm so sad that Fred's death affected their marriage, I guess as a reader I've always thought of that as unbreakable and man, you broke it. :( :(

you've played all of the emotions just to perfection. xo

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Review #23, by crimson quillWhen I Go Out With You: Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

16th April 2017:
So Capture the Flag,

I'm really liked this little chapter, I think it's cute that hannah and ernie are together though I'm obviously getting too out of touch with the stories as the first ernie I thought it was the knight bus driver?! ha ha. that'll be a difference relationship all together! So Hannah and Ernie and they live together etc..this is quite unexpected from the first chapter I think.

I love their relationship, it's so comfortable and fun like they know each other so well. the dialogue I felt was pretty natural. I can image myself and my partner having similar relationships. I read the first chapter to. it's so impressive that you can create and building these relationships in such a little amount of words yet they still feel really developed.

I love how cheeky this relationship is, Hannah seems very happy so what's going on with Susan in the first chapter then? it's like a bubbling mess of's interesting, very interesting!

your chapter does very clearly refer the lyrics that you've chosen for. I've been reading a lot of angsty lately so this is quite a nice little change. they're happy at least for now...? who knows what's going to happen! xo

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Review #24, by crimson quillRefuge: Refuge

16th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

I really enjoyed this little one-shot. I think the use of character was really good especially powerful as it was just the two of them.

I love that luna had a name for the shack claiming that 'Bartleby' doesn't like being called mean names. this seems like such a luna thing to do. I really shows how kind and caring her character is that she really cares about this building. Luna seems to be able to make emotional connections with everyone or anything. you wrote all of this so beautifully, I was really impressed by that characterisation as I always think Luna is difficult to get right.

you used some really stunnning imagery to set the scene for this. ' Its crimson tail left another mark' - this is a line that I simply adore. I think that kinda of imagery is just so powerful that it's so little phrase but adds so much to your writing. I'm not good with description so I'm jealous of your skills :P

'because smiles were things of the past.' - this makes me so sad! I think one thing in the war is they always had hope to keep them going. it's heartbreaking. I really liked this turn of phase though. simple and very effective.

it was so crushing to read Remus' death scene with the kiss that Luna was again left alone when Lupin died but then again she has 'Bartleby' as her salvation. This is all such emotional and beautiful piece with lovely characterisation. xo

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Review #25, by crimson quillBeyond Repair: Daddy's Little Flowers

16th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

So Petunia is a character that I have a soft spot for because I want to feel that's she misunderstood I guess.

I thought this was such a cute scene to the honest. I think you write little petunia so well, I think the line about talking not being allowed but it was noisy. it's really interesting the little moments that kids really pick up on and you've really captured that childish essence in petunia's character here. It's very natural for first child to be confused by a new arrival especially as we know what a complicated relationship they will have in the future. the groundwork for the rest of the story is really strong. this chapter just works so well as a taster of what's coming up in the story.

I think the moment that is rather heartbreaking thought for a child but probably quite realistic is 'Mummy loved Petunia again'. I guess children see things very black/white like that or maybe it's more a characteristic of petunia as a person. which ever it is, that line is pretty powerful I think. this chapter feels like fluff but the build up of petunia's feelings at the end changes the tone. I'm rather interested to see what your visions are for this story! xo

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