Reading Reviews From Member: Demonic Angel
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Demonic AngelNecrosis: it is just one big ol thing

10th July 2004:
Not bad of a story but a word of advice. You may wish to separate things such as conversations. Just by the first look at it, it seemed far to jumbled. For instance: Your beginning:

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Hey harry and hermione" Ron screached "Oh god its ron"said hermione "Hi cool guys" Ron said. "uhg"hermione said and then she got up and walked away. "whats up with hermione?"Ron asked Harry. "I dunno, she has been acting strange lately"Harry said."Maybe its that time of the month."Ron said jokingly

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This should actually look more like:

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Hey Harry and Hermione" Ron screached

"Oh god its Ron"said Hermione

"Hi cool guys" Ron said.

"Uhg" Hermione said and then she got up and walked away.



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Review #2, by Demonic AngelAnthony Mason and the Hidden Threat: Hogwarts

13th March 2004:
Another good chapter...looking forward to the next. To answer your question on what a 'Mary-sue' or 'Gary-stu' is, they are an OC that is equally or even more powerful than the main cannon character, they are instantly liked and befriended by every cannon character, and they and they always have the perfect body to make the opposite sex (and sometimes same sex if slash) suddenly attracted to them. They never make mistakes, say stupid things, or do anything wrong......they are perfect. So far I don't see any of this in your characters, which makes it still an enjoyable story. Keep up the good work

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Review #3, by Demonic AngelAnthony Mason and the Hidden Threat: Hogwarts Express

29th February 2004:
Pretty good so far. I like that you haven't 'Gary-Sued' your OCs at all in this. Keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I really appreciate it. I have completed the next chapter with the exception of the Sortng Hats song. Right now I am rather tempted to abandon the song all together. Could you please explain the expresion 'Gary-Sued' itis one I am not familier with. Thanks.

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Review #4, by Demonic AngelHarry Potter and the Amulet of Concealment: Prologue: The Summer of Hell

28th February 2004:
I like what you have here so far, I am looking forward to where your going to go with it.

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Review #5, by Demonic AngelHarry Potter and the Wizard's Debt: Painful Memories

7th January 2004:
You're off to a good start here. Looking forward to the next chapt.

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