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Reading Reviews From Member: Haronione
  
85 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HaronioneDreams of Hope : Dreams of Hope

20th October 2014:
Hi Panda Weasley :) Here for the 'claw review battle.

This was a lovely little one-shot! I really liked the opening paragraphs with his memories of entering Hogwarts each year as a student :) The line He remembered the feeling of being welcomed made me abit sad for him, you can tell he has not had that feeling very often since the Marauders left him all those years ago :( Poor Remus, he's had so much to deal with in his life!

I felt for him again when he was surprised that Dumbledore wanted him to teach, but then Dumbledore tell's him he's the best one for the job and Remus's excitement at this made he really happy :)

I really loved the ending of this story, especially the very last line '...his old school and now, his new home' Perfect ending for the story!

An enjoyable read, great job!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Thanks for this really sweet review! I'm glad you liked the story. I'm sorry it made you sad, but it was supposed to. :) Mwa ha ha!
Thanks again,
~Panda


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Review #2, by HaronioneThestrals: Hugo

9th July 2014:
Hello, me again :)

Another great chapter! Poor thestrals, they really do get a rough deal, being either feared or unseen and ignored by people. They rarely get to show people their true nature because the fear of what they represent prevents people from wanting too, which is totally understandable - who want to be reminded that they have seen death?! Once again, a great choice for the prompt :)

You really made me feel for Hugo at the start of this chapter, you put a lot of emotion into such a small amount of words which was great! You could really see why he would think they were 'vile creatures', but I'm glad Hugo got over that fear!

I really liked how you wrote each chapter of this story from a different view point/person while keeping the style of each chapter the same, it was very effective :) All 3 chapters were really well written! I think it is hard to get so much information and character building within such few words and to keep the flow of the story, but you managed it perfectly here :)

This was a fab story that I really enjoyed reading! I will be perusing your author page for some more stories to read :)

Haronione ♥

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Hi, again!

Thestrals really do get a rough deal! I think it is because they remind people that they've experienced death in such a first-hand sort of way. It can be quite unsettling and uncomfortable, I imagine.

Hugo was my favourite to write out of these three stories because I felt as if his story was the most "normal". Loss and grief are such a big part of everyday life, and I loved writing Hugo trying to come to terms with that by projecting his feelings onto the thestrals.

I'm very happy that you liked all the stories! It was lovely hearing from you :)


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Review #3, by HaronioneThestrals: Neville

9th July 2014:
Hello again :)

This chapter was just as good as the first :) I think Neville is my favourite character from his era, but I don't often read fanfic about him, but I may have to check out if you have more Neville stories ;)

Poor Neville, he faced so much fear and adversity through the years, and he always came back fighting. You have portrayed him really well here, how he always felt like a failure, a nothing, when he was far from that! I absolutely love how you ended this chapter with his ultimate act of bravery, and how he finally saw himself for what he is - in his/your words 'brave and strong', in my words 'a hero' :)

Great chapter! Again, a great choice of character ad plot for the prompt! I'm off to read the final chapter now :)

Haronione ♥

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Heya!

Neville is a great character, isn't he? I don't read much about him either, and this is my first shot at writing Neville. I have another idea for a Neville story floating around, so maybe sometime in the near future...

I love Neville simply because he's such a great guy despite going through so much stuff. He bounces back from everything, even if he doesn't realise that's what he's doing. I loved writing him being the person he thought he wasn't and him finally coming to accept that.

Thanks for the lovely review :)


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Review #4, by HaronioneThestrals: Sirius

9th July 2014:
Hey 800 words of heaven!

I really liked this chapter :) Sirius is my favourite character and I love stories that have him well written - like this one!! I really enjoyed reading your interpretation/tale of why Sirius eventually decided to leave his parents house for good after years of having a polar opposite view on blood status. I think that seeing something like that would definitely have pushed him into leaving - it's one thing to hear his parents twisted views on Muggles and muggle borns but it's another to actually see something like that! Poor Sirius :(

I loved how unsure Sirius was about asking to stay with the Potter's, not expecting them to accept him into his family - behind that confident boy is a lot of insecurities :( What I loved more was that the Potter's accepted him in like he was family, no questions asked about what had happened and why he'd left. Just as I have always pictured him turning up at James's house :)

This was a great story for prompt 3! It really showed the fraternal bond, and Sirius and James were the first people I thought of when I saw that prompt (of course, that could be because I love Marauder stories and James and Sirius in particular :))

Haronione ♥

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Heya!

Sirius is my favourite character too, and I'm super flattered that you think that this is a well-written story about him :D I've wanted to write a story about him leaving Grimmauld Place for some time, and this was a good opportunity to do so.

I loved writing Sirius this way! I imagine to be this super cool, super suave guy all the time, except for the moments when it counts the most. In terms of family, he just doesn't know at this point. He hopes, of course, but it's different from knowing that you're loved and wanted somewhere no matter what happens.

Sirius and James have too epic a bromance for me not to write about them in prompt 3. They're friendship is great that way!

Thanks for reading and reviewing :)


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Review #5, by HaronioneEvent Three: One Promise: One Promise

8th July 2014:
Hi Charlotte!

This was a really sweet little one-shot :) I really liked the relationship you depicted here. Everyone should have a friend like that - one that you can go months or years without seeing or hearing from but be like you'd never lost touch when you do meet up! I have a couple of friends like that. I think it's a sign of a true friendship :) It was a very realistic depiction of childhood friendships because no matter how strong a friendship, people grow and life can take them in very different paths - but like this friendship, the bonds of friendship stay the same.

I loved how Lucy was nervous about meeting Raisa again, and how she worried that she may not turn up and not knowing how she'd feel if she didn't turn up. It was really cute that Raisa turned up just as Lucy was thinking about that, and that her worries disappeared once she saw her! When Lucy smiled at seeing Raisa, it made me smile :)

Lovely, well written little one-shot that was perfect for this prompt :)

Haronione ♥

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Hi Haronione,

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked the relationship, and I really wish all friendships were like that. I myself have experienced some friendships that have just completely fallen apart due to not seeing each other in years and others that have remained strong as well, so I do think it's a sign of true friendship if a bond is just as strong after so many years. I'm glad to hear that moment made you smile. Thank you so much for reading and for leaving me such a lovely review. I really appreciate it and it really made me smile as well! :)

- Charlotte


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Review #6, by HaronioneThe New Pride of Portree: A Sabotaged Sorceress

24th April 2014:
Sorry it's taken me a while to review your updates! I was pleased to see there were 3 chapters to catch up on when I did check in though :)

Ha, of course McCormack escorted them there, she would have been foolish to think they would all have attended if she hadn't. But what a way to annoy the team even further!

So, they all seem to be loving the retreat with its early wake up calls, weak tea and fun activities, heehee! It seems to be working though, they are certainly closer already and it's only been one day. McCormack obviously knew what she was doing - get them to unite against a common enemy! I enjoyed seeing them rebel with the 'anonymous positive feedback' exercise - I think that is just the start of their rebellion :)

I was disappointed to see Fitz getting out of the first exercise but was glad to see he didn't get out of all of them - after all he needs to bond with the team as much as any one else! Of course, there's one person I want to see him bond with more ;) He seems to be finding it harder to deny his feelings about Molly now, I'm sure they'll both see sense soon and let the romance blossom ;) Who knows what will happen once they are 'liquored up'!

Another great chapter! I'm looking forward to see what other fun things they all get up to at the retreat :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi again, nice to see you in the review box! Yep, I've posted a few more. I'm trying to get this story finished in a reasonable time frame.

Of course they'd run off if she didn't drag them there! haha. Ah the retreat, it's just such quality time, isn't it? ;) McCormack's no dummy.

He tried to escape the exercises, but total escape is impossible. And of course he'll use it as an excuse to get close to Molly.

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #7, by HaronioneThe New Pride of Portree: A Pack of Wild Dogs

17th January 2014:
Hello again :) here for the last of the (belated) SS reviews!

Ah, the morning after the night before. Fitz's thoughts about the kiss were great, I loved how he was hoping his memories were real and how he could picture the kiss so vividly :) Gah, why do they have to both be so sensible about it though, trying to keep it professional for the sake of the team? They'll come to their senses eventually I'm sure - their feelings for each other are evidently becoming stronger and soon they won't be able to hold them back (I'm hoping anyway ;) *hinthint*

So that game went slightly better than the last one, but I'm glad you didn't make them suddenly win - that would have been quite unbelievable! So yay! Poor Molly getting injured, but staying on despite the pain seemed like something Molly would do. I liked how Fitz was concerned about her after she was hit, and that look made it obvious he wasn't just worried about the game!

Okay, so I was very wrong when I thought that the team would be better together after the heat had died down for the argument - it made them worse! But, I guess it has to get worse before it gets better, right? I'm sure a week at the Silver Skies Sorcerer's retreat will do them a world of good. And it will be a great place for a bit more flirting between Molly and Fitz ;)

I did notice one typo in this chapter, the team immediately stated grumbling under their breath should be 'started' - I only mention it because it stood out to me (and also, it's been 7 chapters and all I've done is gush ♥ with no hint of being constructive or helpful!)

Once again this was a great chapter and I'm now a bit sad that I have reached the last of the posted chapters :( I have really enjoyed reading this, and I am so glad that I got you as my SS giftee - as I got to discover this story, which is now going in to my favourites list :D It is written brilliantly with vivid, well balanced descriptions and wonderful character interactions. You have really brought life to your characters and I now feel quite invested in them, wanting to read more about them (and of course see a happy ending for them both ;)). Thank you for such an enjoyable read, I will most definitely be looking out for more updates!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Ack I'm so embarrassed I took so long to respond to this.

They are both way too sensible! They need to jump each other. Think how much happier they'd be. Until they got caught out by McCormack, that is.

There was no way they were going to win, short of playing the Cannons (and wouldn't that have been embarrassing, if they'd lost to the Cannons?). With no reserve Keeper, Molly would never leave the team - she'd play through any injury. Way too dedicated! Fitz understands better than most about injuries, and he was definitely worried about more than just the game ;)

Things will start looking up eventually. And it does open up new possibilities for Molly and Fitz to be inescapably near each other.

Thanks for pointing that out! I hate when I mistype. I've been writing this part on my laptop and part on my iPad, and my iPad sometimes autocorrects (even with correctly spelled words!) to words it thinks I meant, which is very annoying. I keep finding them and going "What the heck?"

Well, I hope you've continued with the story now since I've posted a few more chapters. I'm working on the next one now. I'm so glad you were my Secret Santa-claws! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, I really appreciated them and loved hearing your thoughts on the story.


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Review #8, by HaronioneThe New Pride of Portree: Magpies and Mistakes

17th January 2014:
Sorry, this review will be a bit shorter than usual, mainly because I don't have much to say other than I loved it!!

Usually I remark on things in the order they came in the fic, but I am far too happy that they finally kissed that I just have to mention that first! Yay, just yay :D You wrote that scene superbly and I could see it in my mind perfectly! But why did Molly have to go all 'professional' and pull away?! Gah! It wasn't just the kiss that made me happy, it was the whole of that scene with Fitz opening up to Molly and being honest about his feelings, and the interaction between them during the whole scene was fantastic.

I also really enjoyed the scene at the party. I really enjoyed Fitz's little inner monologues and thoughts, they were great. And the line about the underwear cracked me up :) Molly must have known what she was doing when she said that to him, the little tease! I look forward to more flirting between them :)

I felt you wrote the game really well. I am not a big fan of reading in depth Quidditch games and was worried that this chapter was going to be focused mainly on the actual game. Personally I thought you spent just the right amount of time on the game, giving enough information for readers to see how the game went but without going into a pass by pass commentary of it (which can sometimes be a bit dull, I think). And yay for Molly's purple and gold hair :D it was about time she got in the spirit of the team! Back to the game - obviously it did not go well, but that was to be expected. Although they argued after the game and the team spirit and morale was rather low, I think this loss will do the team good and once the heat has died down will bring them all closer together - after all, the game managed to bring Molly and Fitz closer together (in a different way) I am excited to see the fall out of the game, the argument/team divide and, obviously, that kiss!!

Great chapter, as always. See you at the next one!

Haronione ♥

P.s - guess I had slightly more to say than I thought ;)

Author's Response: lol - yay, I'm glad you liked the kiss! I loved writing that. It makes me happy to hear people shipping it :D Oh but it couldn't be that easy! Of course alcohol-fueled actions lead to hangover-fueled regrets.

She absolutely knew what she was doing. Punishing him for snooping around her room, that's what. ;)

Oof, Quidditch scenes kill me. I'm sort of glad Molly is Keeper, because it's an easier position for me to understand and write. I make myself do Quidditch and action scenes cause they're hard to write. Anyway. Yes, she's got Prides colors in her hair now: she deliberately waited until the first game to do it. Shame about the game, but they were never going to win with a brand-new lineup of not-star players, you know? Net benefit though of having Molly and Fitz drowning their sorrows together at the bar though!

Thanks so much for reviewing! I love hearing your thoughts on the story as it progresses. ♥


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Review #9, by HaronioneThe New Pride of Portree: Drills and Defense

16th January 2014:
Hello, me again :)

I think this may be my favourite chapter so far! I really enjoyed the interaction between Fitz and Max, it was like the male version of the relationship/interaction between Molly and Lucy. It made me really happy that Fitz admitted he was attracted to Molly!! Yay! More progress in the romance department! Even if he tried to deny it at first! How could he deny it though when Molly had made him nearly forget the troublesome ex-wife? I loved how he went into such detail when thinking about Molly, he has obviously been paying her a lot of attention!

Ha, obviously Fitz wouldn't take Molly's interference with training well! His reaction and the argument between him and Molly was great - they needed to clear the air and get rid of some the tension.

Gah, for a split second I thought Fitz was going in to see McCormack to resign, but then breathed a sigh of relief when he said 'you wanted to see me' but then I started worrying she was going to sack him! But neither happened, and for tht I am glad :) I'm also glad that his little chat with McCormack made him see reason about Molly and her attempts to help with training!

Gah!! I really thought they were going to kiss then! I love their interactions away from work :) you really build up the tension between them well and believably! I have a feeling there may be a few more of these little incidents before they actually kiss (for I am sure they will, and I'm looking forward to that)

Another great chapter and I can't wait to see how the match with the Magpies goes! I'm guessing it won't go too well!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm pretty fond of Max, so I'm glad to hear you liked him. And of course Fitz is paying very close attention ;) he just hates to admit it, even to his good buddy.

Oh no, he was definitely not going to take that well. Completely losing his head is more like it. He's touchy and has a temper. But, fortunately Molly's not the type to put up with that.

McCormack's got more faith in him than he has in himself at this point. And, of course there's the fact that experienced Quidditch coaches aren't exactly thick on the ground, so replacing him wouldn't be easy to do. At least McCormack can knock some sense into him!

Yay sexual tension! Good, I'm glad it's coming out well - it's fun to write, and it's nice to hear it's translating out of my head ;)

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #10, by HaronioneThe New Pride of Portree: Flight and Family

16th January 2014:
Hello again, momotwins, it's you (not so) Secret Santa finally back with another review :) I apologise I did not get all the reviews to you sooner, but life became a bit manic! I will get all the reviews you were promised done and I plan to follow this story as more is posted :D

Anyway, on with the review! As always, this was brilliantly written and a thoroughly good read :) Ha, I loved that his Healer was Hugo Weasley! And the line 'Good God. Every time he turned around, there was a Weasley. There must be hundreds of them.' cracked me up! His thoughts about there being hundreds of them probably wasn't too far off the truth :P heehee. I can understand why he would be dubious about letting Molly's cousin treat him, even if, as a Healer, Hugo would be bound to confidentially, I would probably be the same. I am interested to see where Hugo's research into Fitz's injury leads! Fitz really is touchy about his injury isn't he (which is understandable considering it is a life changing one), does he learn to deal with this eventually?

Ah, I knew as soon as Fitz was heading to the pitch with his broom that Molly would be there - well, I actually thought she would turn up while he was flying, which wasn't far off the mark as she did spy on him flying! His reaction to her being there was great and I loved that when he was so angry he was cursing his shoulder, the team, his ex-wife and then eventually Molly, with the added detail of her tight trousers :) it was a great touch! Already I want them to just recognise and admit that they like each other! As I said in the last review, they need to see each other away from work and quidditch and just learn to accept that mutual attraction :D

I really loved the scene between Molly and Lucy, it was really lovely, they were just so relaxed and comfortable together. And I loved that Molly admitted to Lucy that she was attracted to Fitz, that's a step forward ;) and also that she defended him when Lucy infers that he is stupid :)

Actually I loved the whole scene at Percy's house. I really liked your portrayal of Percy. He was still the slightly pompous character we saw in the books but he was also loving and caring and family orientated. I don't usually have much time for Percy as he is often portrayed much as he is in the books when he is younger, but I actually like your Percy :)

I look forward to seeing whether Molly does start ignoring Fitz's drills and just doing her own and seeing how Fitz reacts to that! I think that will be rather interesting :)

Great chapter! See you at the next one!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi there! That's totally okay, because it turned out to take me months to respond to them (I'm sorry!).

Hugo finished his Healer licensure! He was a trainee Healer in the Rose stories, so now he's fully qualified and working in sports medicine ;) When he was a training, he was studying spell damage and injuries, which is pretty good crossover for Quidditch, I thought. There are a lot of Weasleys around, aren't there? ;) Fitz is very touchy about it. We'll see where that goes - I hate to give away plot points.

Poor Fitz, he's got a lot of bottled-up rage over his injury and very few opportunities to vent it. He needs a friend. I enjoyed writing his cursing everyone and everything under the sun there, especially Molly's tight trousers, so I'm glad you liked that ;)

I like writing the sister scenes. I've got more Lucy/Hilarion appearances planned. Percy I think will always be pompous, but as an adult I think he's a well-meaning guy. His heart is in the right place - I think he learned his lesson in the war days. And he does love his family. Molly is sort of the apple of his eye.

Thanks so much for reviewing! It really means a lot to me :)


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Review #11, by HaronioneLaws of Attraction: Science and Magic

20th November 2013:
Hi again quixotic! Here for the Ravenclaw review battle :)

So, firstly, your authors note - this was not a cringe-worthy one shot!! I was a sweet, well written one that I enjoyed reading :) I really liked Nick's thoughts about being a squib, he was so positive and upbeat about it, seeing it as a 'best of both worlds' thing rather than a negative, failure thing as most would.

I liked how he assessed his feelings etc with scientific explanations :) and how he had trouble figuring out what love is. I loved this line Love wasn't a hypothesis or a scale, it wasn't science at all. It was magic. Love really is magic :) and as he is a squib this line is even more poignant here.

The scene at the station was really lovely :) Nick's little speech about love was heart warming, so cute and also very true! How sad though that it has taken him to the age of 26 to realise that though!!

The descriptions in this were fantastic, just the right balance, I thought, for this short one-shot.

At the start of their conversation at the train station the spacing was a bit off, it just needs reformatting in that part. Otherwise I didn't see anything to give CC on!

Sorry if this review has come out a bit weird, I'm having trouble converting my thoughts into coherent sentences tonight 0.o

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hey! Sorry for the slightly delayed response.

This review wasn't weird at all! It was very nice :)
I'm glad you didn't find it cringe-worthy. Fluffy isn't really my forte and I haven't had a lot of experience writing it, but I had a great time writing this story.

Squibs are so underrated. The only ones we see in the series are Flich and Mrs. Figg. I find the subject of squibs quite fascinating seeing that they kind of thrive in the confluence of the Wizarding and Muggle worlds.

Nick is a great character, but quite a bit slow at love, isn't he? He's great at giving speeches though! I'm so happy that you liked the descriptions :)

I will go right now and fix that spacing. My computer has a nasty habit of glitching up when I try to paste things. Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #12, by HaronioneCreeper: Creeper

14th November 2013:
Hi! Here for the QTR review battle :) This was a creepy little one-shot! A great entry for the Halloween challenge :)

I love the build up of suspense at the start of this one-shot. I love how you've made the reader wonder what Teddy is denying he did and why he feels guilty about it. For me it really made it the story much more scary from the start and made me want to read on to find out what had happened, which is always great in a story :)

Teddy should have known there was something wrong with the 'necklace' when the shop keeper insisted on calling them creepers, and even more so when he gave Teddy the best one for free! Silly Teddy! But I guess in his excitement about getting Victoire a beautiful present made all logic leave him. Bet he regrets that now though!

The creeper (great name by the way) coming to life must have been terrifying for both of them! I liked the imagery you used for that, it really brought it to life, almost like it was a character. I find it scary that the creeper appears to be enjoying what it is doing... And then that it snaked out of the room, free to strike again.

I feel so bad for Teddy at the end, having to live with what has happened, being blamed for it and reliving it all under the effect of the Dementors. Poor Teddy!

I really liked this story, it was original and truly creepy! You did a great job of making it scary in such a short word count, well done :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Thank you so much! The Halloween Competition was challenging but fun as I hadn't tried my hand at horror/dark yet. =]

I'm glad you liked the suspense. I was just trying to make it creepier and it looks like I've succeeded. :) and I'm a huge fan of keeping suspense.

Yes, Teddy should have thought twice, but he was so excited that... It just happened!

I love the name creeper too! It makes the story seem more scary I think. :) glad you liked the scene overall.

The ending is kinda sad, but I think it fits perfect with the story. How many ghost stories end happily?

Thanks for the lovely review! :D



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Review #13, by HaronioneA Minor Setback: Chapter the Fifth

8th November 2013:
Hi AlexFan!

I liked how you had Albus being suspicious of Seraphina and Lily's new friendship, and that Seraphina had noticed the signs of his suspicion. I'm guessing it won't be long before he gets suspicious about her little secret too!

Albus is obviously not as observant as Rose! So now there is someone else to almost let it slip to Albus. I think Seraphina needs to tell him sooner rather than later!

I liked that Seraphina started to open up a bit to Rose and Lily, but then shuts down again when she feels their questions are getting too personal and private. I liked the interaction between the three of them in the corridor and their discussion about Albus.

The end was sweet, when Seraphina starts to realise how nice it is to have friends, to have someone to talk to :) I'm pleased for her there, it was about time she made that revelation!

I had a peek at the chapter summaries for the next 2 chapters, I'm guessing she'll be telling Albus in 2 chapters time? Looking forward to reading that!!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hey there again!

I added in Albus being suspicious because it made sense that he would be considering that this antisocial girl was all of a sudden making friends with his sister and cousin. I'd be a bit suspicious as well.

With the amount of people that know about Seraphina I'm surprised Albus hasn't found out along with the rest of the school.

She's going to need as many friends as she can to deal with her pregnancy. As for the next chapters, I will only say that it's probably not what you think it is.

Thanks for reviewing.


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Review #14, by Haronionewinter, cry.: winter, cry.

4th November 2013:
Ok, I need a minute to compose myself! *ahem* This was an amazing story, so beautifully written and just... just wonderful!!

Who would have thought that Irma Pince had such a sad but interesting story?! I didn't! Before this she was just the book obsessed, pinch-faced, scary librarian of Hogwarts, but now? Now, she is so much more! You have really delved into the character here and given her a past, a reason for why she was who she was in the series. Just brilliant!

You wrote this in quite a different style, and for me it was perfect for the story (I can't really explain my reasoning for this, I just know that's how I feel about it) So, I think I mentioned in a past review to you about long, run on sentences - they were here again in this story, but actually, they worked perfectly here, fitted in with the narrative. The change to short choppy sentences every now-and-then just really added emphasis to the importance of what was being said. I'm not entirely sure that made sense, I know what I'm trying to say but not sure I'm conveying it very well! I think I shall now just say that I felt it was beautifully written!!

This tale of Irma's life made me really feel for her and actually made me quite sad for her! What a sad lonely childhood she had, ad it didn't improve greatly as she grew up :( I felt this line was quite tragic 'She's never actually played with another child before' to reach seven years of age and to have never played with another child, this just showed how lonely her childhood was :( And then when she goes outside and the other children are so horrible to her and she just says 'oh, okay' heartbreaking!! And this line is so poignant and beautiful, and really made me empathise with Irma 'But this is the first time she reads to escape, reads to become someone else, reads for comfort and love and the assurance that sometimes, in other lives, in other worlds - sometimes there are happy endings'

Oh my Merlin! I absolutely adored the scene in Diagon Alley!! It started out so sad, her having to buy crummy, scruffy, second hand stuff that's barely fit for purpose, and then her mother gives her the ultimate gift This was wonderful and I loved her mother so much in that moment! I felt so happy for Irma here and felt her joy and excitement about that book, and most of all I loved the way she cherished it! I think I should get my children to read that passage ;)

So, I was thinking it was rather bizarre that she only discovers the Hogwarts library when she is 13, for a child that loves books I just felt that it would have been the first place she discovers when she goes to Hogwarts. BUT then you go on to explain why... and then it made total sense that she wouldn't have gone there! This also made me sad for her, that her difference from the other students, that their mocking and teasing, along with her fear that it would be taken away from her, would keep her away from a place she could seek comfort and enjoyment. This was brilliant (from the story point of view, not for Irma!)

It broke my heart a little bit when Irma got the letter. And then that section ends with 'And not a single person misses her.' :(

I was really hoping that she was going to get a happy ending when she meets the boy. But, of course, she doesn't. It just left her more heartbroken and alone :( Poor Irma!

I loved your incorporation of the war, or rather the end of the first war, in this and how it affected Irma (or didn't, as the case may be) I thought this really emphasised the loneliness and solitude Irma lived in.

I really liked the scene where Dumbledore offers her the job. How she reminisces about the library in so much detail but then can only offer Dumbledore a one word answer :)

The ending, gah I thought she was going to be killed! That or that her sacred book would be destroyed - what makes me sad here is that I'm not sure which of those Irma would have seen as the worst outcome! I did love that she found courage to stand up to Carrow. It says its the first time she feel brave, and I can see why she would think that, but I think that she has been brave her whole life. She has been through so much and not had much to keep her going (physically or emotionally) and yet she still carries on, still lives her life, still has goals.

I have really, really gone on a bit here, haven't I?! I'm nearly done, honest!

I really loved that this story was told through the different winters of her life and it flowed really well from one to another. Sometimes stories like this, that jump from one point in time to another, can seem confusing and the flow interrupted, not this one though :) Each time period is introduced so simply and repetitively but the effect was great!

So, all that's really left to say (and I think you've probably worked this out already) is that I loved this story! You are a very talented writer and I look forward to reading more from you!!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Okay, I have really waited a shamefully long time to reply to this review. But you've blown me away with how incredible it is, I wanted to write a response that would do it justice! I may have to give up on that, though :P

Basically, I'm just so glad you liked this! I can't respond to every section you've written here because I would be too overcome with the compliments and just dissolve into a puddle or something :P This is definitely my favourite story that I've ever written so I'm so glad that everyone seems to like it so much, and I've been blown away by all these incredible responses.

This review means so much to me and I'm so, so glad you liked my little look at the long life of Irma Pince.

Thanks!!

~Maia xx


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Review #15, by Haronionemurmur.: one.

3rd November 2013:
Hiya!! Here for the Ravenclaw review battle :)

How could I not review this Halloween challenge story after the review you left on mine?! This was a great little one-shot. I love that you have taken a different spin on the 'scary' theme, it was so chillingly scary and creepy.

The gradual change of the intensity of the voices in her head and that the voice slowly turned to sounding like her own so she couldn't differentiate the voice from her own thoughts was great and made it even more chilling. I absolutely loved how you repeated the opening section at the end but reversed it and ended it with them becoming one voice. This really rounded off the story and added to the creepiness of it all.

This must have been terrifying for Rose. Hearing voices is never good! It feels like the voice is lulling her in with the things it is saying to her here, that this is just the start of it all. Especially given that the voice has continued after taking off the necklace!

Some of my favourite lines are: 'It's not what I thought going crazy would be like' I find it quite scary that she realises she is going crazy but seems quite blase about it; 'The voice knows, and it tries to tell me, but I don't know how to listen anymore.' This is particularly chilling, poor Rose!

This was a fantastic, eerie one-shot and a great entry for the Halloween challenge :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hiya! Oh, I'm so glad you liked it! I've never tried to write something scary before which is why I leant towards a creepy, psychological style instead, I thought it would be easier to write haha.

Yeah, some of the creepiest things I could think of were all to do with hearing voices, going crazy, not knowing your own mind... so I decided to put them all into this story! I'm a big big fan of repetition and circular writing *English student nerdiness* so I was really happy with how the repeated beginning and end worked out. I'm glad you picked up on the change of voices so that the necklace has actually become her, I wasn't sure I had made it obvious enough!

I'm glad you liked the story :) Thanks for the amazing review!

~Maia


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Review #16, by HaronioneDragons of Dawn: Newt Scamander

3rd November 2013:
Aw, this was a lovely little one-shot :) Really sweet and unique too! I really enjoyed it.

I loved the introductory paragraph with the different views of Newt, it was a great opening to the story and introduction to the character. I have never thought much about Newt Scamander, but I really liked the Newt Scamander you have portrayed here :)

I've never heard of Dragons of Dawn before but I really like the thought that they are responsible for the rise and setting of the sun :) and they sound like beautiful creatures! I really liked Newt's thought process about the baby dragon and how this led him to make the right decision! It really made me smile :) I love how at the start he thinks of his mother as condescending and then when he see's the dragon's 'innocent beauty' he see's his mother differently and agrees with her :)

There were a couple of lines I really loved - 'They may be useless in all other aspects but muggles sure knew how to make candy really made me giggle, and I love lemon drops so can understand why he would think this whilst eating them ;) - 'Newt tried not to think. It interfered with him being nuts' again, really made me giggle.

This was really well written and there were no mistakes that stood out to me! It flowed really well and the plot was fantastic :) Overall, a great read!! Good luck with the challenges!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you enjoyed the story!

Newt Scamander is an obscure character in the books and with the new movie coming up, I thought it would be interesting to write a story from his perspective. I'm really glad that you liked his character :)

The Dragons of Dawn are actually mythical creature I created off the top of my head. One of my rare moments of inspiration, you could say. That's probably why you've never heard of them before :P

The whole point of this story is to show how Newt is different from the regular magizoologists who study magical creatures for purely scientific purposes. Newt actually cares about the creatures and I like to think that that was what made him so successful.

I'm glad some of the lines made you laugh, it gives me confidence that my sense of humor isn't as non-existent as I thought it was. The second line you've quoted, however, I cannot take full credit for. It's actually a quote by Rick Riordan given to me by AlexFan for the challenge. I've slightly modified it to fit the story, but it is originally from the Heroes of Olympus and I think Leo says it.

Anyway, I'm glad that that the story appealed to you, I had a lot of fun writing it. I'm thrilled that you couldn't find any mistakes (seriously? Not even one? I must finally be improving!). Thanks again :)


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Review #17, by HaronioneBefore We Were Heroes: Chalk Dust On the Hourglass

22nd October 2013:
Ah, so this is set the year before Harry starts Hogwarts? I have to say I have not read any stories set during this time (or any time between Harry going to the Dursley's and him starting Hogwarts) so I am very interested to see where you are taking this plot :)

So, considering Elsie says (or thinks) that this is only the second time she has seen Snape I'm guessing they definitely don't have a history as I was wondering in the last chapter! But now I wonder whether some kind of relationship will be forged between them (romantic or not). It appears Elsie is a bit older than I presumed since she knows Molly and Arthur - I was imagining her to have been at school around the same time the Marauders and Snape were.

Ooh, is the note from Severus? Or Sybil? They are the only two I can think if right now. I'm going to have to read on now to find out who it is and why they want to meet her!!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm so glad that you are enjoying it. There is definitely more of Elsie's backstory to come so I hope you keep reading!

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Review #18, by HaronioneBefore We Were Heroes: The Hint of A Curse

22nd October 2013:
I really liked the opening paragraph. After finding out virtually nothing about Elsie in the first chapter (which wasn't a bad thing - it added to the mystery and intrigue) it was great to find out a bit more about her while still leaving some mystery around her. I am now even more eager to read on to find out why she has been living as little more than a vagrant and why Dumbledore thinks she will be able to teach the students more than any of the others teachers could - she must have been through quite a few ordeals for Dumbledore to think that!

I think you got the attitudes of the teachers spot on here; all of them disputing Dumbledore's thoughts about needing to prepare the students for what's out there; Trelawny worrying about the curse but everyone else laughing it off etc I enjoyed this little glimpse at how staff meetings may have been like at Hogwarts :)

Ha, I loved Dumbledore's vague advice about teaching, very Dumbledore like. I could really see him being like that. But it didn't really help poor Elsie though!! No wonder Elsie felt unprepared! I look forward to seeing how she gets on with her classes :)

I'm wondering whether Elsie and Severus knew each other before she got the teaching position and whether there is any history between them - I guess I will find out as I read on ;)

This was another great chapter and I shall definitely be reading on!

Haronione ♥

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Review #19, by HaronioneBefore We Were Heroes: Dragons In Bolton

22nd October 2013:
This was a strong first chapter and I really enjoyed reading it :)

The descriptions in this were great and you really set the scene well. I am intrigued by this first chapter and I'm left wanting to read on to find out who the two hooded characters are - I'm guessing Dumbledore is the man who entered unnoticed. As for the woman - I'm interested to find out who she is, where she has been and why she has come back!

Great first chapter, I look forward to reading more :)

Haronione ♥

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Review #20, by HaronioneThe Joker and Her: Sorting

20th October 2013:
Hi Illuminate, here for the review battle :)

This was another great chapter! I felt sorry for Brienne having to have a boat to herself, she must have felt quite out of place being with all the first years! I really really liked that she was impressed by her first sight of the castle - very different to the attitudes the Beauxbatons students had in GoF!

I also liked how the first years all looked up to Brienne to lead them when they first got to the castle, of course they would've seen her as an older, more knowledgable student and not as another newbie like themselves!

Aw, poor Brienne, being made the centre of attention at the sorting - no wonder she went red!! I think I would've too! You wrote the sorting hat well and I felt that the characteristics the hat mentioned had definitely been shown by Brienne in these chapters. I felt bad for her that she was mostly ignored whilst at the Gryffindor table, but I'm sure she'll be making friends soon ;) I really hope so, she certainly needs some!

All in all this was a great chapter, I enjoyed seeing Brienne's sorting and how it was slightly different. I look forward to reading on and seeing Brienne start classes and adjust to her new life at Hogwarts :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so glad you liked this chapter, thank you very much for reviewing! :D

Thanks again!


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Review #21, by HaronioneSoaring.: Dear Mary.

8th October 2013:
Hi, here for the review battle :)

I was intrigued to read this as just lately I have developed an affinity to Regulus stories, I'm not sure why but I have. This was quite different to the other stories I have read about him recently; i've never read about him with a love interest. I liked how you showed a different side to him, a softer side.

I also loved your different take on Mary MacDonald. She is usually portrayed as a quiet, timid person (in the fics I've read anyway) so it was nice to see her being the complete opposite.

This was a great portrayal of someone mourning the loss of someone they loved and I really liked the idea that he is narrating this through a letter. This was a touching piece and there were a few lines that really stuck out to me. This one '...how much it goddamn hurts, not just that you're gone, but that I wasnt enough for you to stay for.' How sad for Regulus to feel like that, but of course one would feel like this if a loved one has taken their own life. And this one 'They say eventually you reach acceptance, but it seems unlikely to me.' how true that someone in the grieving stage would think like this, how could they see an end to their grief when they are hurting so much?! And then the last two lines - I think they were the perfect end to this fic :)

I felt you explored the motions of grief very well here. I really felt for Regulus in this as he had no-one to help him through his grief as he would have had to hide it from others due to the secretive nature of his and Mary's relationship. Poor Regulus! I really liked how you included his becoming a death eater in this. It gives a good explanation of why he joined them and a possible reason for why he turned against Voldemort too - I see it that (from your story of him) Regulus joined the Death Eaters in the anger stage of his grief, to get back at Mary for leaving him. Then, when he had reached the acceptance stage he could see that he was wrong and wanted to avenge Mary's death, in his own way. What I'm trying to say is that this is a great portrayal of Regulus's motivations - and a very unique portrayal too!

On the whole this was very well written but I did notice a few rather long, run on sentences. Maybe just revise these and break the sentences down a bit.

This was a lovely little one-shot and I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more from you :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Ahh, thank you so much for this lovely review! I'd actually never really read anything about Regulus before starting this fic but now, like you, I've started to really like stories about him. I'm glad you think my portrayal of him was unique! I did really try to show his softer side here even though he is a death eater :)

I love when people quote favourite parts of the fic omg. Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it. I was trying a pretty different style to what I usually write here, which was writing about a serious topic in a 'teenage' kind of way, so I'm glad you think it worked in those parts.

When I was writing this I was trying to think of a way to link it to canon more, because it seemed like it had just kind of come out of nowhere, so I started thinking about what we know about Regulus in canon, and all we really know about is his involvement with the death eaters, so that's why I decided to put that part in. I thought it would be interesting to find another motivation for Reg joining them other than 'hes evil' or 'hes a slytherin' like a lot of fics seem to do, so I'm really glad you thought my explanation was good, and unique!

Oh my god, I'm ridiculous with run on sentences, it's awful. I went through this several times trying to break them down but clearly I wasn't too successful, haha. I'm like that in all my writing - it's a regular occurrence that a whole paragraph will be one sentence. My beta hates me. Next time I get the motivation for editing I will definitely keep that in mind, thanks!

I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the lovely review < 3

~Maia


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Review #22, by HaronioneA Minor Setback: Chapter the Fourth

30th September 2013:
Why hello there :) It's been a while but I am finally Back again with another review!

So, I liked seeing Seraphina interact with Albus and the twins, even though it was only brief. I loved that they were so surprised by Seraphina's knowledge about quidditch :) I can see why they'd be surprised, but then she strikes me as the kind of girl who'd have knowledge about most things, so they really shouldn't have been surprised that she would know the statistical info about the sport! It's little details like this that give more depth to the characters and their personalities, so I really liked this little touch :)

Ha, the way this is going I think it is going to be Lily who ends up letting slip to Albus about the baby - she really needs to be more careful! In your authors note you mention about the scene with McGonagall being a bit serious. Yes, I agree it was quite serious, but then it needed to be, it's a rather serious situation so I think it is fitting here. One thing though; I'm not sure i see McGonagall being so ready to want a student to leave Hogwarts. Yes, i think she would have seen it as an option and discussed this with Seraphina but I don't personally see her putting this to her so bluntly as her first option. But that's just my opinion :) I do really like how you have McGonagall telling her to be on best behaviour from now on though or lose her badge! To me, this seems like it would be the ultimate punishment for someone like Seraphina :)

Ooh, I sense that the scene where Seraphina tells her parents is coming up! I'm really looking forward to seeing how Seraphina deals with that! Not as much as I'm looking forward to Albus finding out though ;)

Aw, I love that Lily and Seraphina are becoming more relaxed and friendly with each other :) It's about time Seraphina had a friend! I wonder how Albus is going to feel when he does find out about the baby and that his sister knew before he did!

Anyway, this was another great chapter and I'm looking forward to reading the next one :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: You have no idea how surprised I was when I saw this. I hadn't thought you'd be coming back so this was a really nice surprise for me!

That was my thought when writing the scene and having Seraphina quote Quidditch Through the Ages. To me, it just made sense that she would know all of this stuff and you're the first one who's actually caught on to that.

It seems that way but trust me, it won't be Lily who lets anything slip, it will actually be Seraphina. And I think you're right, McGonagall probably wouldn't offer leaving as a first option but that just never crossed my mind when I wrote the chapter.

I had a hard time deciding on a punishment and then I stopped and thought about what the ultimate punishment for Seraphina would be and losing her badge would be it.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #23, by HaronioneRise: One of Us

30th September 2013:
Hi Courtney :) review tag!

So, I absolutely loved your Regulus House Cup one-shot so I was excited to see you had started a novel based on Regulus. And I was not disappointed! This was fantastic :D

I loved how this seemed to continue on from your one-shot and I am excited to read more, you write Regulus so well!! I love that you have made him still have small niggly doubts about joining the Death Eaters, after all he is still very young and it reminds me of how Draco may have felt in HBP, despite his bravado about joining. I really liked that he is not totally evil, the fact that the initiation involving the muggle girl plays on his mind so much shows this. I thought this little scene was great, it shows us that Regulus isn't really ready to join them (which I think he wasn't because, after all, he does betray Voldemort in the end!)

As you can probably tell, I loved the characterisation of Regulus. I thought the other characters were portrayed really well too; I could imagine Narcissa not really getting involved and Bellatrix being just as evil to Regulus despite him being her cousin and wanting to join the cause.

Your descriptions and little details in here are great! You set the scene well and I was really drawn into the story. You really have a lovely writing style :)

I did notice a couple of typos but nothing that a beta wouldn't pick up, and I saw on the forums that you are looking for one so I won't list them here. I saw no other errors in this though :)

Overall, this was a great first chapter and I really enjoyed it :) I will definitely be checking back for future chapters! Great job!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi there!

Ooh, you read my Regulus one-shot? This was definitely inspired and partly based on that one-shot, so I'm glad you didn't see to find it too boring! I was considering just turning that one-shot into a novel, but realized there were many things I had to add into this one that would flow into the rest of the story. If that makes any sense at all, haha.

Anyway, I'm really glad you liked this chapter and the portrayal of my characters. Thank you so much!

Courtney:)


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Review #24, by HaronioneThis Devilry: Chapter One

28th September 2013:
Hi Academica, here for our review swap :)

I really liked the theme of this fic. It is very realistic that Ginny would suffer some kind of Post-traumatic stress after such a horrifying experience. I get the feeling she is suffering from a touch of post-natal depression too and it is manifesting itself with the nightmares and flashbacks etc.

I felt the characterisation of Ginny in this was great. You depicted a young woman adapting to motherhood very well and I loved how you had her thinking about how her life has changed, and mourning it in a way. Again, this is realistic for any mother with young children (I'm still mourning my pre-child life ;))

Your descriptions were really good. I especially liked the start of the nightmare scene.

The little touches you have put in here were great too. I really liked this line As she cradled her two-month-old son, she remembered with some degree of fondness how she had foolishly granted Harry full power over what to name the baby so long as she could have another one. You're lucky you're so cute, she thought as she gently rocked him. it is just great, really made me giggle!

This was an original and interesting look into how life would have been for Ginny. I'm intrigued as to where you are going with this plot line and how Ginny will conquer her fears and nightmares. A great first chapter!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hello, thanks again for the wonderful swap! I'm really sorry this response too so long!!

I hadn't thought too much about the possibility of post-partum depression, but I guess I did sort of unconsciously incorporate it in the theme, given Ginny's faint sense of dissatisfaction with her new quiet life as a stay-at-home wife and mother. I'm happy to hear that you liked the descriptions and felt my depiction of Ginny as a young mother was realistic, too. Everyone seems to really like that line about Albus, and I kind of like it as well :)

Thanks again for your lovely review!

-Amanda


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Review #25, by HaronioneHouse of Cards: Two of Spades

15th September 2013:
Hi Aphoride! Here for the review battle :)

Ok, I'm going to start this review by saying that I absolutely loved this! So, I apologise if this review is short and gushing!

Your descriptions are just amazing and the details you have put into them are fantabulous :) They set the scene and tone of the story perfectly. You have a great writing style! Now, while the writing style amazed me the plot intrigued me. This first chapter has left me wanting me to read on to find out if Cygnus was murdered and if so who by. I am very interested to see where you take this story and how the plot plays out.

I also really liked your characterisations in this. Whilst reading this chapter I could really picture each of the characters reacting and behaving the way you have written them. I really liked Pollux. I could really see the head of the Blacks being so commanding and authorative, and the rest of the family not daring to disobey or contradict him. Scared of him. I just found it to be a very realistic portrayal of the larger Black family.

One thing that made me wonder though was why Barty Crouch was there at a Black family gathering. I found it a bit odd. But I am guessing there is a good explanation for this that will become evident as the story progresses? The only other thing I feel I should mention is the 'X' after the funeral march line. It's just that it momentarily took me out of the story and made me wonder why it was there. Was it a page break? If so I just think it would be better if you used a line or stars to indicate the page break. Sorry, this is a very small thing but I had to have some CC in the review ;)

All-in-all this was a strong, intriguing and well written opening chapter and I really enjoyed reading it! I look forward to reading more :D

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hey there - nice to see you in the Review Battle and thanks for stopping by! :)

Thank you so so much! I'm so glad you like it - I always worry that it drags too much with too much description, so I'm glad you think it doesn't! Thanks for saying it's made you want to read on as well - it's the first mystery thing I've written so I was a bit nervous about getting the mystery element right, so thanks! :)

Haha, yeah, he commands such an insane bunch of family members, he sort of has to be really, really intimidating, lol. Not all of them are scared of him, though ;) And not all of them are the whole time. Mostly the younger ones are. But I'm happy you liked them all - there were so many to portray!

Ah, yeah, Barty's presence will be explained later on (pretty much at the end), but there is a reason for it, I promise you (other than it being funnier!). Ooh, yeah, I use that in my word documents coz otherwise it messes up the horizontal lines when I try to copy/paste on here, but I'll definitely go through and edit it out - I think someone's mentioned it as well on a different story! Thanks for including that! :)

Thank you so much for the great review and hopefully I'll see you around again some time soon! :)

Aph xx


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