Reading Reviews From Member: Haronione
  
100 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HaronioneEpitaph of a Good Man: They went where?

24th March 2014:
*fanfare and confetti* You are the recipient of of my 100th review :D it may have taken a while but I've been saving it for you! So, without further ado, here goes.

I loved this chapter with all the Tonks and Remus squee inducing moments right from the start of the chapter when Remus slips his arm around Tonks's waist :) and it just got better from there!

Gah, Remus saying he accepts Tonks wholly for who she is, her past included, made me a bit cross (just a little, I could never be mad at Remus) as he can never accept that someone else could feel that way about him! Silly Remus! Still, it was a cute moment and induced a bit of squee :) I wonder if he'd still say that if he knew about Moody though! Heehee

Urgh, I really really dislike Dawlish! I'm glad Tonks punched him and I loved the fact that she did it being defensive over Remus rather than herself. I also loved that Remus put a protective arm around Tonks in front of Dawlish, this is big progress for Remus - well the whole evening is really!

Haha, I loved Sirius's teasing, both the evening before and the morning after. I could just see him doing that. Aw, I also loved the romantic side of Remus coming out here, so cute :) how can he deny his feelings after that?! I do hope they remember the silencing charm next time though ;)

Again I love how you've woven the canon parts into this story, with Molly getting worried about the kids starting Dumbledore's Army and asking Sirius to tell them not to do it.

The scene at the end with Molly and Tonks was a great addition to the chapter, again bringing in canon facts as in the books it is clear that Tonks confides in Molly and talks to her about Remus. As I'm a bit of a stickler for canon (not obsessively so though) I love seeing scenes like this that bring out missing moments from the books :)

Another great chapter *more confetti* see you at the next one

Haronione ♥

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Review #2, by HaronioneEpitaph of a Good Man: Making Choices

17th January 2014:
Hello m'dear, I'm back!!! Sorry it's been a while!

So, whilst reading this I kept the scene you mentioned in mind. now I've read this chapter you can tell me all about it!!! Er. Please? :)

Poor Tonks worrying about hurting Moody! I'm glad you made her worry about that though, because although she did wrong by leading him on, the fact that she realises she has done wrong and feels bad about it redeems her a bit in my eyes! But still, Moody, ewww (and in response to your authors note, it wasn't the age thing, it was the Moody thing - he's not exactly described as an attractive character [in looks or personality] but each to there own. I still have trouble picturing Moody as a passionate man (not in a characteristic sense, just a eww gross sense ;)) I'm intrigued as to how their relationship will be after this though, as previously they had quite a close and respected relationship.

I liked the little chat between Sirius and Tonks :) That was very sound advice he gave her! I was also glad that Tonks was able to cheer Sirius up a little, I hate to think of him being so miserable and lonely :( And, I liked the little bit of backstory you have about Sirius's love life, what a silly Hufflepuff girl, how could she have resisted Sirius (but then I say that 'cause I'm slightly obsessed with him ;) hence why I comment on that particular part of the scene)

Well, Remus and Tonks are certainly getting more comfortable with each other!! I really liked that Tonks felt comfortable enough with him to just chat away to him and be quite open with him (well, obviously not about recent events) I think Tonks should have told him that his kiss could not be added to the list because he pulled away - it might have spurred him into action (although not whilst in wolf form, that would not have been good!)

I loved the morning scene :) Remus's little speech was sweet and he asked her out on a date!!! Yay!! He may pretend that it is a friend date, but we know he doesn't really want it to be a friend date! So, the bit just before Tonks gets out of bed - is that where the levitation charm would have come in? Or just after she gets out of bed? That scene was a bit sexually charged! But Remus seems to be getting more comfortable with that (not completely, but more so than he was - yay, progress!!)

Another great chapter :) I look forward to seeing how their 'friend' date goes!!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hello!!! Lovely to see you back!

I did message you about the scene! Don't blame me about it - you asked. :P

Tonks is a bit thoughtless but not completely. I like to chalk it up to her being inexperienced and not used to having someone's heart involved when, uh, adult things happen. Well, if it makes you feel better, there's hardly any reference to that after this chapter. I mean, in terms of talking about their hours of passion. Moody does take it like a grown up and is pretty decent after this.

My theory is that Sirius, after spending years in prison, got some perspective on life's problems. I mean, he's by no means completely mature or anything but he sees how people are with each other and the imacts that can make. My backstory with Sirius is the three sentence summary of the cliche Sirius/OC story I've always wanted to write. :D but, that will probably never get written.

They do slip into a good deal of comfort from here on out. Tonks just keeps talking so that Remus has something to focus his mind on (and because she's quite comfortable opening up to him). haha, while she's comfortable spilling her guts, I think she's still a bit shy about tell him that. :P I'm not sure how he'd react to it either. He never really finds out.

They're both still walking on eggshells around each other. He wants it to be a real date but then thinks she's not into it being a real date. Umm... just use your imagination regarding hte levitating spell. :D It was a bit sexually charged. They both want the same thing but don't know that it's mutual. Hooray for progress!!

I think you'll like their friend-date. A lot of progress is made there.

Thank you for such a wonderful review!
-Rose


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Review #3, by HaronioneThe New Pride of Portree: A Pack of Wild Dogs

17th January 2014:
Hello again :) here for the last of the (belated) SS reviews!

Ah, the morning after the night before. Fitz's thoughts about the kiss were great, I loved how he was hoping his memories were real and how he could picture the kiss so vividly :) Gah, why do they have to both be so sensible about it though, trying to keep it professional for the sake of the team? They'll come to their senses eventually I'm sure - their feelings for each other are evidently becoming stronger and soon they won't be able to hold them back (I'm hoping anyway ;) *hinthint*

So that game went slightly better than the last one, but I'm glad you didn't make them suddenly win - that would have been quite unbelievable! So yay! Poor Molly getting injured, but staying on despite the pain seemed like something Molly would do. I liked how Fitz was concerned about her after she was hit, and that look made it obvious he wasn't just worried about the game!

Okay, so I was very wrong when I thought that the team would be better together after the heat had died down for the argument - it made them worse! But, I guess it has to get worse before it gets better, right? I'm sure a week at the Silver Skies Sorcerer's retreat will do them a world of good. And it will be a great place for a bit more flirting between Molly and Fitz ;)

I did notice one typo in this chapter, the team immediately stated grumbling under their breath should be 'started' - I only mention it because it stood out to me (and also, it's been 7 chapters and all I've done is gush ♥ with no hint of being constructive or helpful!)

Once again this was a great chapter and I'm now a bit sad that I have reached the last of the posted chapters :( I have really enjoyed reading this, and I am so glad that I got you as my SS giftee - as I got to discover this story, which is now going in to my favourites list :D It is written brilliantly with vivid, well balanced descriptions and wonderful character interactions. You have really brought life to your characters and I now feel quite invested in them, wanting to read more about them (and of course see a happy ending for them both ;)). Thank you for such an enjoyable read, I will most definitely be looking out for more updates!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Ack I'm so embarrassed I took so long to respond to this.

They are both way too sensible! They need to jump each other. Think how much happier they'd be. Until they got caught out by McCormack, that is.

There was no way they were going to win, short of playing the Cannons (and wouldn't that have been embarrassing, if they'd lost to the Cannons?). With no reserve Keeper, Molly would never leave the team - she'd play through any injury. Way too dedicated! Fitz understands better than most about injuries, and he was definitely worried about more than just the game ;)

Things will start looking up eventually. And it does open up new possibilities for Molly and Fitz to be inescapably near each other.

Thanks for pointing that out! I hate when I mistype. I've been writing this part on my laptop and part on my iPad, and my iPad sometimes autocorrects (even with correctly spelled words!) to words it thinks I meant, which is very annoying. I keep finding them and going "What the heck?"

Well, I hope you've continued with the story now since I've posted a few more chapters. I'm working on the next one now. I'm so glad you were my Secret Santa-claws! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, I really appreciated them and loved hearing your thoughts on the story.


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Review #4, by HaronioneThe New Pride of Portree: Magpies and Mistakes

17th January 2014:
Sorry, this review will be a bit shorter than usual, mainly because I don't have much to say other than I loved it!!

Usually I remark on things in the order they came in the fic, but I am far too happy that they finally kissed that I just have to mention that first! Yay, just yay :D You wrote that scene superbly and I could see it in my mind perfectly! But why did Molly have to go all 'professional' and pull away?! Gah! It wasn't just the kiss that made me happy, it was the whole of that scene with Fitz opening up to Molly and being honest about his feelings, and the interaction between them during the whole scene was fantastic.

I also really enjoyed the scene at the party. I really enjoyed Fitz's little inner monologues and thoughts, they were great. And the line about the underwear cracked me up :) Molly must have known what she was doing when she said that to him, the little tease! I look forward to more flirting between them :)

I felt you wrote the game really well. I am not a big fan of reading in depth Quidditch games and was worried that this chapter was going to be focused mainly on the actual game. Personally I thought you spent just the right amount of time on the game, giving enough information for readers to see how the game went but without going into a pass by pass commentary of it (which can sometimes be a bit dull, I think). And yay for Molly's purple and gold hair :D it was about time she got in the spirit of the team! Back to the game - obviously it did not go well, but that was to be expected. Although they argued after the game and the team spirit and morale was rather low, I think this loss will do the team good and once the heat has died down will bring them all closer together - after all, the game managed to bring Molly and Fitz closer together (in a different way) I am excited to see the fall out of the game, the argument/team divide and, obviously, that kiss!!

Great chapter, as always. See you at the next one!

Haronione ♥

P.s - guess I had slightly more to say than I thought ;)

Author's Response: lol - yay, I'm glad you liked the kiss! I loved writing that. It makes me happy to hear people shipping it :D Oh but it couldn't be that easy! Of course alcohol-fueled actions lead to hangover-fueled regrets.

She absolutely knew what she was doing. Punishing him for snooping around her room, that's what. ;)

Oof, Quidditch scenes kill me. I'm sort of glad Molly is Keeper, because it's an easier position for me to understand and write. I make myself do Quidditch and action scenes cause they're hard to write. Anyway. Yes, she's got Prides colors in her hair now: she deliberately waited until the first game to do it. Shame about the game, but they were never going to win with a brand-new lineup of not-star players, you know? Net benefit though of having Molly and Fitz drowning their sorrows together at the bar though!

Thanks so much for reviewing! I love hearing your thoughts on the story as it progresses. ♥


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Review #5, by HaronioneThe New Pride of Portree: Drills and Defense

16th January 2014:
Hello, me again :)

I think this may be my favourite chapter so far! I really enjoyed the interaction between Fitz and Max, it was like the male version of the relationship/interaction between Molly and Lucy. It made me really happy that Fitz admitted he was attracted to Molly!! Yay! More progress in the romance department! Even if he tried to deny it at first! How could he deny it though when Molly had made him nearly forget the troublesome ex-wife? I loved how he went into such detail when thinking about Molly, he has obviously been paying her a lot of attention!

Ha, obviously Fitz wouldn't take Molly's interference with training well! His reaction and the argument between him and Molly was great - they needed to clear the air and get rid of some the tension.

Gah, for a split second I thought Fitz was going in to see McCormack to resign, but then breathed a sigh of relief when he said 'you wanted to see me' but then I started worrying she was going to sack him! But neither happened, and for tht I am glad :) I'm also glad that his little chat with McCormack made him see reason about Molly and her attempts to help with training!

Gah!! I really thought they were going to kiss then! I love their interactions away from work :) you really build up the tension between them well and believably! I have a feeling there may be a few more of these little incidents before they actually kiss (for I am sure they will, and I'm looking forward to that)

Another great chapter and I can't wait to see how the match with the Magpies goes! I'm guessing it won't go too well!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm pretty fond of Max, so I'm glad to hear you liked him. And of course Fitz is paying very close attention ;) he just hates to admit it, even to his good buddy.

Oh no, he was definitely not going to take that well. Completely losing his head is more like it. He's touchy and has a temper. But, fortunately Molly's not the type to put up with that.

McCormack's got more faith in him than he has in himself at this point. And, of course there's the fact that experienced Quidditch coaches aren't exactly thick on the ground, so replacing him wouldn't be easy to do. At least McCormack can knock some sense into him!

Yay sexual tension! Good, I'm glad it's coming out well - it's fun to write, and it's nice to hear it's translating out of my head ;)

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #6, by HaronioneThe New Pride of Portree: Flight and Family

16th January 2014:
Hello again, momotwins, it's you (not so) Secret Santa finally back with another review :) I apologise I did not get all the reviews to you sooner, but life became a bit manic! I will get all the reviews you were promised done and I plan to follow this story as more is posted :D

Anyway, on with the review! As always, this was brilliantly written and a thoroughly good read :) Ha, I loved that his Healer was Hugo Weasley! And the line 'Good God. Every time he turned around, there was a Weasley. There must be hundreds of them.' cracked me up! His thoughts about there being hundreds of them probably wasn't too far off the truth :P heehee. I can understand why he would be dubious about letting Molly's cousin treat him, even if, as a Healer, Hugo would be bound to confidentially, I would probably be the same. I am interested to see where Hugo's research into Fitz's injury leads! Fitz really is touchy about his injury isn't he (which is understandable considering it is a life changing one), does he learn to deal with this eventually?

Ah, I knew as soon as Fitz was heading to the pitch with his broom that Molly would be there - well, I actually thought she would turn up while he was flying, which wasn't far off the mark as she did spy on him flying! His reaction to her being there was great and I loved that when he was so angry he was cursing his shoulder, the team, his ex-wife and then eventually Molly, with the added detail of her tight trousers :) it was a great touch! Already I want them to just recognise and admit that they like each other! As I said in the last review, they need to see each other away from work and quidditch and just learn to accept that mutual attraction :D

I really loved the scene between Molly and Lucy, it was really lovely, they were just so relaxed and comfortable together. And I loved that Molly admitted to Lucy that she was attracted to Fitz, that's a step forward ;) and also that she defended him when Lucy infers that he is stupid :)

Actually I loved the whole scene at Percy's house. I really liked your portrayal of Percy. He was still the slightly pompous character we saw in the books but he was also loving and caring and family orientated. I don't usually have much time for Percy as he is often portrayed much as he is in the books when he is younger, but I actually like your Percy :)

I look forward to seeing whether Molly does start ignoring Fitz's drills and just doing her own and seeing how Fitz reacts to that! I think that will be rather interesting :)

Great chapter! See you at the next one!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi there! That's totally okay, because it turned out to take me months to respond to them (I'm sorry!).

Hugo finished his Healer licensure! He was a trainee Healer in the Rose stories, so now he's fully qualified and working in sports medicine ;) When he was a training, he was studying spell damage and injuries, which is pretty good crossover for Quidditch, I thought. There are a lot of Weasleys around, aren't there? ;) Fitz is very touchy about it. We'll see where that goes - I hate to give away plot points.

Poor Fitz, he's got a lot of bottled-up rage over his injury and very few opportunities to vent it. He needs a friend. I enjoyed writing his cursing everyone and everything under the sun there, especially Molly's tight trousers, so I'm glad you liked that ;)

I like writing the sister scenes. I've got more Lucy/Hilarion appearances planned. Percy I think will always be pompous, but as an adult I think he's a well-meaning guy. His heart is in the right place - I think he learned his lesson in the war days. And he does love his family. Molly is sort of the apple of his eye.

Thanks so much for reviewing! It really means a lot to me :)


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Review #7, by HaronioneLaws of Attraction: Science and Magic

20th November 2013:
Hi again quixotic! Here for the Ravenclaw review battle :)

So, firstly, your authors note - this was not a cringe-worthy one shot!! I was a sweet, well written one that I enjoyed reading :) I really liked Nick's thoughts about being a squib, he was so positive and upbeat about it, seeing it as a 'best of both worlds' thing rather than a negative, failure thing as most would.

I liked how he assessed his feelings etc with scientific explanations :) and how he had trouble figuring out what love is. I loved this line Love wasn't a hypothesis or a scale, it wasn't science at all. It was magic. Love really is magic :) and as he is a squib this line is even more poignant here.

The scene at the station was really lovely :) Nick's little speech about love was heart warming, so cute and also very true! How sad though that it has taken him to the age of 26 to realise that though!!

The descriptions in this were fantastic, just the right balance, I thought, for this short one-shot.

At the start of their conversation at the train station the spacing was a bit off, it just needs reformatting in that part. Otherwise I didn't see anything to give CC on!

Sorry if this review has come out a bit weird, I'm having trouble converting my thoughts into coherent sentences tonight 0.o

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hey! Sorry for the slightly delayed response.

This review wasn't weird at all! It was very nice :)
I'm glad you didn't find it cringe-worthy. Fluffy isn't really my forte and I haven't had a lot of experience writing it, but I had a great time writing this story.

Squibs are so underrated. The only ones we see in the series are Flich and Mrs. Figg. I find the subject of squibs quite fascinating seeing that they kind of thrive in the confluence of the Wizarding and Muggle worlds.

Nick is a great character, but quite a bit slow at love, isn't he? He's great at giving speeches though! I'm so happy that you liked the descriptions :)

I will go right now and fix that spacing. My computer has a nasty habit of glitching up when I try to paste things. Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #8, by HaronioneEpitaph of a Good Man: The Unexpected

20th November 2013:
Hello again! I am here with a review to celebrate your birthday :D (it's kind of a present for both of us, I get to read more of your wonderful story and you get a review!) Yay, for birthdays!!

Anyway, on with the review! Again you have integrated canon scenes into your story really well :) Ha, trust Sirius to lower the tone there!! But, I can imagine he may have been a bit... er... frustrated ;)

Aw, they kissed! Yay! I know it's the second one but this one was more significant and more passionate. Gah, why did Remus have to pull away and start his self loathing thing?! Well, I know why, because that is who Remus is, but still! It is obvious he really likes her, I just wish he would follow his heart and not his head. Poor Tonks, feeling unloved and unwanted :(

I loved that Tonks was fussing over her appearance and then questioning why if Remus only wants to be 'just friends' (I agree with Tonks, that's a horrible phrase). Ha, I loved the clerk's' comments to Remus, hilarious!! I think I would have run and hid if I was Tonks at that moment! I really liked that Remus smiled at that rather than irritated - I think if he'd known Tonks had heard he would have acted irritated and cross with her, but as he didn't realise Tonks got to see his true reaction to that train of thought!

Aw, I love Tonks for not wanting Remus to be alone on the night of the full moon :)

Im glad you didn't make Andromeda instantly like Remus, even though she was finding it hard to resist his charm. I liked Ted and how he was more accepting of Remus. It's usually the father that objects to a daughters love interest so it was nice that the roles were switched here :) Remus's comment about brightening up his life was sweet, I know he was acting but he was telling the truth - even if he won't admit it!

Ok, I really like your interpretation of Narcissa, how she was dubious about Voldemort's cause until she met Lucius. I just thought that was great!

*blink* did I read that right? 'Hours of passion with moody'?! Ok, I confess I am slightly disturbed, but only slightly. with the hints of flirting etc between them I should have seen this coming, but how could I have? I don't think anyone would have guessed this would happen! Great plot twist :) The title of this chapter is totally appropriate!! Ha, I'm not surprised Remus kept popping into her mind! Not sure how Remus would take that though 0.o

I am really looking forward to reading about the repercussions of this event!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hello!!

I quite loved your birthday presents!! An awesome graphic *and* a review - I feel quite spoiled.

Sirius does lower the tone a bit - I love that phrase. :D His, er, frustrations, come up a few times in each story.

I'm sorry he pulled away! You'll have to read it in his story to get a good reason for it. :P You hit pretty close to the mark though. Sadly, Remus takes *forever* to follow his heart.

I do hate that term as well. I probably would have not been very happy if I were Tonks in that situation. I would have said something about it though (because I'm that awkward :D). I never thought about Remus' reaction showing his true thoughts. I mean, they did but it was kind less intentional than that looked. I don't think Tonks viewed it that way at least - she was too caught up in the wanting to shrink away bit.

It kind of makes me laugh when I read that part. She's just inviting herself over every full moon. No questions or permission needed. :P Oh Tonks.

I couldn't have Andromeda just like him after having her blow up about it last chapter. :D It would be a little *too* cliche for me. huh, it is usually the father who dislikes the daughter's boyfriend person. I guess I saw Ted as more accepting and open minded. Andromeda isn't bigotted like her family, but I do see her as being a bit judge-y. Ah, yes, he wasn't quite acting there. :D

I had to go back and re-read because I forgot I said that about Narcissa. :D She never did strike me as having a strong/independant personality so it felt very natural to have her just tow the line her husband did.

After all my awkward *coughs* during the review resposnes, I thought I gave it away! Slightly disturbed is less of a reaction than I usually get from people. I didn't just write it in there to shock though. When I was investigating Remus/Tonks, I saw similar flirting indicators between Moody/Tonks. Then I just couldn't help but put it in here. I'm not sure Remus ever exclicitly finds out about this tryst of hers.

Moody does continue to play an interesting role past the time he's invovled with Tonks (in *that* sense). :D

-Rose


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Review #9, by HaronioneEpitaph of a Good Man: Faux Relationship

18th November 2013:
So Dawlish is even more horrible than I thought! Poor Tonks, she must have been terrified, especially after what we learnt of her past in the last chapter.

I find it quite sweet that Tonks wanted to be with Remus after her ordeal, even though she would have been quite safe at Grimmauld Place. Ha, Sirius didn't take much persuasion to inform Tonks of Remus's address though. At first I thought this was a bit OOC for Sirius as he has always been a very loyal friend, but then I thought about it and realised that actually he would probably have told her because he wants them to get together and so thought he was doing them a favour, maybe. I wonder if Remus will see it that way though!

Tonks is definitely a brave young woman going to Remus's on the full moon (or maybe it was love-struck stupidity ;)) what if he hadn't taken his wolfsbane potion?! That's a scary thought! But he had, so all's good :) I loved it when Remus led her to the bedroom and she says 'Well I didn't want to make any assumptions' :D I love her cheeky personality.

Ha, I love the contrast in their personalities - him looking away when she gets changed for bed and her having to have a peek at him when he's asleep naked :) The little pervert, can't say I blame her though haha ;)

Aw poor Remus, always thinking so badly of himself :( saying that someone like Tonks would never pursue a man like him. How wrong could he be!! Silly Remus!

I love that Kingsley is quite protective of Tonks, keeping an eye on her and scaring Dawlish off whenever he lingered by her desk.

I loved the awkward conversation about boyfriends with her parents (gosh, news travels fast!) and I loved the line 'This isn't a personals ad!' Hehe. Andromeda still thinking Sirius is guilty :( and I found it amusing that she was more worried that Remus associated with Sirius than the rumour that he was a werewolf, haha. Ah, Tonks's threat backfired on her a bit didn't it? Or maybe not, maybe it'll help the path of true love run a bit smoother ;) I look forward to seeing how that dinner plays out!

I really liked te end of this chapter, with Molly trying to get Tonks to think about Bill and then Dumbledore basically telling Tonks to go for it with Remus :D

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Dawlish is a horrible person and I plan on making mean things happen to him. Eventually. Ooh, you know, as mean and ironic I can be as an author, I never connected that. ...you're so much more awesome than I am. :)

I like to think of going to Grimmauld Place as a move to get safety and her desire to then to go Remus was for comfort. I'll go with your version of Sirius handing over his address so fast. I didn't think it was too OOC when I wrote it, but your justification makes that choice sound kind of awesome rather than convenient for the plot. :D And I like things to sound awesome.

It was a combination of love-struck stupidity and her guessing he had wolfsbane. Um... maybe she should know that explicitly so that she doesn't seem *quite* as reckless. :D hehe, Tonks is always quite cheeky.

Everytime I read this I laugh so hard at you calling her a pervert. The apple doesn't fall far from the author... :P I could see her just being curious about whether wizards retained their clothing during transformation. ;)

Remus is quite down on himself here. He has a habit of telling himself what he needs to hear. It's one of his less attractive traits.

Kingsley is kind of a rockstar to me. He's a bit like Tonks' older brother in this story.

Ted and Andromeda hearing about Remus was Scrimgeour's way of smoking Tonks' story out. I'm sure he felt he was learning something by getting Ted's reaction of not knowing she was seeing someone. Andromeda kind of warms up towards Sirius later (not in person but the idea of him). What can I say though? Parents don't always have logical priorities. The dinner should be entertaining!!

Ah, yeah, I had to put in Molly's prodding about Bill. I'm not sure why she thought Tonks would make a good match for him but as the kiddos thought she was trying to hook them up, I wanted to at least make it a partial truth. Of course Dumbledore told her to go for it. :D He's probably planned out their entire relationship by now - he's Dumbledore for pete's sake. :D

-Rose


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Review #10, by HaronioneEpitaph of a Good Man: Elvis and Freckles- Take One

17th November 2013:
I really liked this chapter :)

I liked Tonks's thought about Remus at the start and how she wouldn't let his resistance to the relationship deter her. But I think those dreams she was having in the last chapter have addled her mind - thinking of Moody like that?! And flirting with him?! That did make me giggle :)

I love that she was researching werewolves, of course she'd want to know a bit about that if she's going to start something ;) The scene with the clerk made me laugh, can you imagine being asked for a book like that?! Haha!

Ha, that was a rather awkward conversation with Scrimgeour! It's great you have addressed the difficulties those in the order would have come across in their work, it wouldn't have been easy!

Aw, I loved the Tonks/Remus interaction here! Her being so flirty and forward even in her tired state, and him being so considerate and worried about her - so sweet!! I loved this line 'Two people sleeping together results in four times the rest.' :D I'm quite positive it's not true but I loved it all the same! And also the line about the bulge, haha!! :D I love that they've started to open up to each other, really getting to know each other, and that you've explored Tonks's past a bit here :)

Dawlish seems like a very unpleasant character! I don't like him! What on earth is he doing sneaking into her house and snooping around?! And what a place to leave the chapter!! I'm glad the next chapter is already posted!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hello lovely!!

I kind of imagine Tonks being a closet romantic person. I tend to think Remus was her first serious relationship and first time she *really* liked/loved someone. Right now she's in crush/like mode. (I kind of sound like a teenager, but your daughter could translate here.) *cough* yeah, about that flirting... people get bored after being alone in a hallway for hours. Quite bored.

Her completely academic interesting in lycanthropy is totally justified and not at all related to her budding feelings for Remus. haha, I couldn't keep a straight face through that either. :D the clerk is a funny guy in my head. Almost a Mr. Bean type of character.

Scrimgeour ends up being an interesting person in this story. He's definitely suspicious of a lot of Tonks' behavior. You'll see more later.

I imagined that Tonks' tiredness brought her close to delirium - which could lower her inhibitions about being so forward. Remus' excuse, well, he's just being friendly. :D I'm really glad you like the part about Tonks' past. I've been a bit unsure about whether it's useful.

Dawlish is quite unpleasant... Luckily you'll not have to wait long to find out.

Thank you so much for another lovely review!

-Rose


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Review #11, by HaronioneEpitaph of a Good Man: Longest Day

15th November 2013:
Hello again :)

I really liked how you included Tonks telling Ginny about Molly putting the perturbable charm on the door, and how to detect if its been put on or not. I love it when stories have these little canon details :) I also really liked that you made Tonks carry her broom in a guitar case. Of course she would have to disguise it walking through muggle London, and I love that you have these little details. I could see everyone looking at her strangely though :) and I really liked that she immediately thought it was because they all knew about the kiss - it is obviously the main thing on her mind!!

I felt you did a really good job of writing the scene from OotP :) It is extremely hard to write scenes from the book and keep to the 3 line rule, so kudos to you for that :) I loved the little extra bits you added in, especially this line 'I could easily imagine Remus sitting behind a desk reading over an essay or giving a lecture on proper tea brewing. It sounded sexy.' really made me giggle - she has got it bad if she thinks giving a lecture on tea brewing sounds sexy :D And, I know it's a line from OotP but I love the 'Stop being so cheerful Mad-Eye...' line, so I'm really glad you chose to include that one :) I think that is one of the hardest parts about rewriting scenes from the actual books - which bits to include and which bits to gloss over. I think you had a good balance here and the bits you did include were the bits that really added to your story and characterisation of Tonks.

I loved Tonks and Remus's conversation at the end :) I always find it sad when Remus thinks people won't want to associate with him when they find out about his lycanthropy though. But Tonks's blas-ness about his lycanthropy and how she managed to make him laugh when he was being so down made it not quite so sad for me. It was a very sweet little moment there :)

Ha, Tonks's dreams made me laugh :) I think I'd be disturbed if I had a dream like that about Moody! No wonder she didn't have a restful night. Maybe subconsciously she has a thing for Mad-Eye too and Remus will have a bit of competition on his hands, haha!!

This was a great chapter :) hopefully it won't take so long for me to get to the next one!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: You give me so much squee with your reviews!!

While I was writing this, I was literally trying to connect any mention of Tonks in the books with this story. I needed street/book cred. That was my way in. :D

I thought the guitar case might be too random so I'm really glad you liked it. The books don't really touch on the idea of transporting obviously magic items through muggle areas. That was one of my thoughts on how you could do it. It did seem a little like the movie Desperado (where a guy carries guns in his guitar case). I definitely think Tonks' mind is still on that kiss. You know what they say about guilty minds. :D

oh my gosh, this scene was impossible to write. I'm a bit ashamed to say that the first few versions of this I had didn't follow the three line rule. *blush* I had been a TA for so long that I wasn't familiar with that rule (my first FF didn't quote anything). But... yeah, I edited the heck out of this chapter to make it ToS compliant. I felt the scene where they pick up Harry had so much good flirting in it (subtle but good) that I *had* to add my own commentary and flair. :D Maybe the professor cuteness was more me than Tonks... She does have it bad but she's a bit blind to that fact.

I do think Tonks was quite indifferent to the idea of him being a werewolf (until she learns more about it then she feels quite horrible for him). I'm glad she managed to interject some sweetness into that scene of Remus being down on himself. :D

*cough* maybe she does. Remus will probably see some competition throughout the story, from a few sources. I can't say more here. :P

-Rose


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Review #12, by HaronioneCreeper: Creeper

14th November 2013:
Hi! Here for the QTR review battle :) This was a creepy little one-shot! A great entry for the Halloween challenge :)

I love the build up of suspense at the start of this one-shot. I love how you've made the reader wonder what Teddy is denying he did and why he feels guilty about it. For me it really made it the story much more scary from the start and made me want to read on to find out what had happened, which is always great in a story :)

Teddy should have known there was something wrong with the 'necklace' when the shop keeper insisted on calling them creepers, and even more so when he gave Teddy the best one for free! Silly Teddy! But I guess in his excitement about getting Victoire a beautiful present made all logic leave him. Bet he regrets that now though!

The creeper (great name by the way) coming to life must have been terrifying for both of them! I liked the imagery you used for that, it really brought it to life, almost like it was a character. I find it scary that the creeper appears to be enjoying what it is doing... And then that it snaked out of the room, free to strike again.

I feel so bad for Teddy at the end, having to live with what has happened, being blamed for it and reliving it all under the effect of the Dementors. Poor Teddy!

I really liked this story, it was original and truly creepy! You did a great job of making it scary in such a short word count, well done :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Thank you so much! The Halloween Competition was challenging but fun as I hadn't tried my hand at horror/dark yet. =]

I'm glad you liked the suspense. I was just trying to make it creepier and it looks like I've succeeded. :) and I'm a huge fan of keeping suspense.

Yes, Teddy should have thought twice, but he was so excited that... It just happened!

I love the name creeper too! It makes the story seem more scary I think. :) glad you liked the scene overall.

The ending is kinda sad, but I think it fits perfect with the story. How many ghost stories end happily?

Thanks for the lovely review! :D



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Review #13, by HaronioneA Minor Setback: Chapter the Fifth

8th November 2013:
Hi AlexFan!

I liked how you had Albus being suspicious of Seraphina and Lily's new friendship, and that Seraphina had noticed the signs of his suspicion. I'm guessing it won't be long before he gets suspicious about her little secret too!

Albus is obviously not as observant as Rose! So now there is someone else to almost let it slip to Albus. I think Seraphina needs to tell him sooner rather than later!

I liked that Seraphina started to open up a bit to Rose and Lily, but then shuts down again when she feels their questions are getting too personal and private. I liked the interaction between the three of them in the corridor and their discussion about Albus.

The end was sweet, when Seraphina starts to realise how nice it is to have friends, to have someone to talk to :) I'm pleased for her there, it was about time she made that revelation!

I had a peek at the chapter summaries for the next 2 chapters, I'm guessing she'll be telling Albus in 2 chapters time? Looking forward to reading that!!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hey there again!

I added in Albus being suspicious because it made sense that he would be considering that this antisocial girl was all of a sudden making friends with his sister and cousin. I'd be a bit suspicious as well.

With the amount of people that know about Seraphina I'm surprised Albus hasn't found out along with the rest of the school.

She's going to need as many friends as she can to deal with her pregnancy. As for the next chapters, I will only say that it's probably not what you think it is.

Thanks for reviewing.


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Review #14, by HaronioneIn the Cave: Into Darkness

5th November 2013:
I have been excited about reading this since you mentioned you were writing it for the challenge. I can't quite believe how long it's taken me to get here! But I'm here now :)

I really loved your version of the events in the cave. In so few words you have really explored the event and explained a lot about it. I always wondered why Amy and Dennis went into the cave with Tom when they knew he was so cruel and strange. I love that you have explained that here, that they thought they would be safe from his terrorising because they are together.

This is quite terrifying, to think that such a small boy could be capable of such cruelty. What Tom has done here is much more than normal childhood nastiness or bullying, it is really really evil - you can definitely see the young boy becoming the darkest wizard of all time!! You characterised a young Voldemort perfectly - dominating and evil, but still with an element of childishness here.

No wonder the two children were traumatised after this event. I could feel the terror they felt as they were assaulted with Tom's magic. It would be scary enough to be physically cut and bleeding without the added eeriness of there being no apparent cause for the bleeding! And poor Amy! Her punishment, I feel, is far worse than Dennis's. Her's was personal and far more terrifying!

My favourite line of this was 'the dark laugh of Tom Riddle cut into her as dangerously as fear itself' For me it just emphasises how scary Tom was.

This was an enjoyable read and a brilliant entry for the Halloween challenge :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: :D (can that just be my response?

...no?

Ok, here I go)

It makes me beyond happy that you're interested in stuff I write just from me mentioning it in a conversation. Really pumping my ego. :)

I think writing this without a word limit would have caused me to muck the story up a bit. Using so few words made me really think about "does this make it scarier" and if it didn't, I'd throw it out. I didn't think my explanation was *that* good - but I'm glad it helped unveil why they'd go off with him alone. I do think people tend to go along with bullies out of fear of an immediate hurt versus postponing and possibly avoiding hurt.

My inspiration for Tom was from the move The Good Son. I haven't seen it since I was a kid but it really creeped me out - the bad kid in that show was so evil and manipulative. I'm really glad his characterization went well!!

I decided on a mix of physical and emotional hurt. If he had just pelted them with rocks they would have been scared but nothing lasting would have happened. Hearing hurtful words while being physically hurt must have caused more pain than just the wounds. I do think Dennis heard his fears (but like Amy's it was in her head).

Thank you so much for reviewing this!! It makes me really happy that you enjoyed reading through this short fic!


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Review #15, by Haronionewinter, cry.: winter, cry.

4th November 2013:
Ok, I need a minute to compose myself! *ahem* This was an amazing story, so beautifully written and just... just wonderful!!

Who would have thought that Irma Pince had such a sad but interesting story?! I didn't! Before this she was just the book obsessed, pinch-faced, scary librarian of Hogwarts, but now? Now, she is so much more! You have really delved into the character here and given her a past, a reason for why she was who she was in the series. Just brilliant!

You wrote this in quite a different style, and for me it was perfect for the story (I can't really explain my reasoning for this, I just know that's how I feel about it) So, I think I mentioned in a past review to you about long, run on sentences - they were here again in this story, but actually, they worked perfectly here, fitted in with the narrative. The change to short choppy sentences every now-and-then just really added emphasis to the importance of what was being said. I'm not entirely sure that made sense, I know what I'm trying to say but not sure I'm conveying it very well! I think I shall now just say that I felt it was beautifully written!!

This tale of Irma's life made me really feel for her and actually made me quite sad for her! What a sad lonely childhood she had, ad it didn't improve greatly as she grew up :( I felt this line was quite tragic 'She's never actually played with another child before' to reach seven years of age and to have never played with another child, this just showed how lonely her childhood was :( And then when she goes outside and the other children are so horrible to her and she just says 'oh, okay' heartbreaking!! And this line is so poignant and beautiful, and really made me empathise with Irma 'But this is the first time she reads to escape, reads to become someone else, reads for comfort and love and the assurance that sometimes, in other lives, in other worlds - sometimes there are happy endings'

Oh my Merlin! I absolutely adored the scene in Diagon Alley!! It started out so sad, her having to buy crummy, scruffy, second hand stuff that's barely fit for purpose, and then her mother gives her the ultimate gift This was wonderful and I loved her mother so much in that moment! I felt so happy for Irma here and felt her joy and excitement about that book, and most of all I loved the way she cherished it! I think I should get my children to read that passage ;)

So, I was thinking it was rather bizarre that she only discovers the Hogwarts library when she is 13, for a child that loves books I just felt that it would have been the first place she discovers when she goes to Hogwarts. BUT then you go on to explain why... and then it made total sense that she wouldn't have gone there! This also made me sad for her, that her difference from the other students, that their mocking and teasing, along with her fear that it would be taken away from her, would keep her away from a place she could seek comfort and enjoyment. This was brilliant (from the story point of view, not for Irma!)

It broke my heart a little bit when Irma got the letter. And then that section ends with 'And not a single person misses her.' :(

I was really hoping that she was going to get a happy ending when she meets the boy. But, of course, she doesn't. It just left her more heartbroken and alone :( Poor Irma!

I loved your incorporation of the war, or rather the end of the first war, in this and how it affected Irma (or didn't, as the case may be) I thought this really emphasised the loneliness and solitude Irma lived in.

I really liked the scene where Dumbledore offers her the job. How she reminisces about the library in so much detail but then can only offer Dumbledore a one word answer :)

The ending, gah I thought she was going to be killed! That or that her sacred book would be destroyed - what makes me sad here is that I'm not sure which of those Irma would have seen as the worst outcome! I did love that she found courage to stand up to Carrow. It says its the first time she feel brave, and I can see why she would think that, but I think that she has been brave her whole life. She has been through so much and not had much to keep her going (physically or emotionally) and yet she still carries on, still lives her life, still has goals.

I have really, really gone on a bit here, haven't I?! I'm nearly done, honest!

I really loved that this story was told through the different winters of her life and it flowed really well from one to another. Sometimes stories like this, that jump from one point in time to another, can seem confusing and the flow interrupted, not this one though :) Each time period is introduced so simply and repetitively but the effect was great!

So, all that's really left to say (and I think you've probably worked this out already) is that I loved this story! You are a very talented writer and I look forward to reading more from you!!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Okay, I have really waited a shamefully long time to reply to this review. But you've blown me away with how incredible it is, I wanted to write a response that would do it justice! I may have to give up on that, though :P

Basically, I'm just so glad you liked this! I can't respond to every section you've written here because I would be too overcome with the compliments and just dissolve into a puddle or something :P This is definitely my favourite story that I've ever written so I'm so glad that everyone seems to like it so much, and I've been blown away by all these incredible responses.

This review means so much to me and I'm so, so glad you liked my little look at the long life of Irma Pince.

Thanks!!

~Maia xx


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Review #16, by Haronionemurmur.: one.

3rd November 2013:
Hiya!! Here for the Ravenclaw review battle :)

How could I not review this Halloween challenge story after the review you left on mine?! This was a great little one-shot. I love that you have taken a different spin on the 'scary' theme, it was so chillingly scary and creepy.

The gradual change of the intensity of the voices in her head and that the voice slowly turned to sounding like her own so she couldn't differentiate the voice from her own thoughts was great and made it even more chilling. I absolutely loved how you repeated the opening section at the end but reversed it and ended it with them becoming one voice. This really rounded off the story and added to the creepiness of it all.

This must have been terrifying for Rose. Hearing voices is never good! It feels like the voice is lulling her in with the things it is saying to her here, that this is just the start of it all. Especially given that the voice has continued after taking off the necklace!

Some of my favourite lines are: 'It's not what I thought going crazy would be like' I find it quite scary that she realises she is going crazy but seems quite blase about it; 'The voice knows, and it tries to tell me, but I don't know how to listen anymore.' This is particularly chilling, poor Rose!

This was a fantastic, eerie one-shot and a great entry for the Halloween challenge :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hiya! Oh, I'm so glad you liked it! I've never tried to write something scary before which is why I leant towards a creepy, psychological style instead, I thought it would be easier to write haha.

Yeah, some of the creepiest things I could think of were all to do with hearing voices, going crazy, not knowing your own mind... so I decided to put them all into this story! I'm a big big fan of repetition and circular writing *English student nerdiness* so I was really happy with how the repeated beginning and end worked out. I'm glad you picked up on the change of voices so that the necklace has actually become her, I wasn't sure I had made it obvious enough!

I'm glad you liked the story :) Thanks for the amazing review!

~Maia


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Review #17, by HaronioneDragons of Dawn: Newt Scamander

3rd November 2013:
Aw, this was a lovely little one-shot :) Really sweet and unique too! I really enjoyed it.

I loved the introductory paragraph with the different views of Newt, it was a great opening to the story and introduction to the character. I have never thought much about Newt Scamander, but I really liked the Newt Scamander you have portrayed here :)

I've never heard of Dragons of Dawn before but I really like the thought that they are responsible for the rise and setting of the sun :) and they sound like beautiful creatures! I really liked Newt's thought process about the baby dragon and how this led him to make the right decision! It really made me smile :) I love how at the start he thinks of his mother as condescending and then when he see's the dragon's 'innocent beauty' he see's his mother differently and agrees with her :)

There were a couple of lines I really loved - 'They may be useless in all other aspects but muggles sure knew how to make candy really made me giggle, and I love lemon drops so can understand why he would think this whilst eating them ;) - 'Newt tried not to think. It interfered with him being nuts' again, really made me giggle.

This was really well written and there were no mistakes that stood out to me! It flowed really well and the plot was fantastic :) Overall, a great read!! Good luck with the challenges!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you enjoyed the story!

Newt Scamander is an obscure character in the books and with the new movie coming up, I thought it would be interesting to write a story from his perspective. I'm really glad that you liked his character :)

The Dragons of Dawn are actually mythical creature I created off the top of my head. One of my rare moments of inspiration, you could say. That's probably why you've never heard of them before :P

The whole point of this story is to show how Newt is different from the regular magizoologists who study magical creatures for purely scientific purposes. Newt actually cares about the creatures and I like to think that that was what made him so successful.

I'm glad some of the lines made you laugh, it gives me confidence that my sense of humor isn't as non-existent as I thought it was. The second line you've quoted, however, I cannot take full credit for. It's actually a quote by Rick Riordan given to me by AlexFan for the challenge. I've slightly modified it to fit the story, but it is originally from the Heroes of Olympus and I think Leo says it.

Anyway, I'm glad that that the story appealed to you, I had a lot of fun writing it. I'm thrilled that you couldn't find any mistakes (seriously? Not even one? I must finally be improving!). Thanks again :)


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Review #18, by HaronioneA Moment of Fear: Remus

1st November 2013:
Hello again, Rose! I have been wanting to get to this all day, but I got roped in to doing a 1000 piece jigsaw (which, needless to say, took a while!) Anyway, I am here now, so on with the review -

Poor, poor Remus! This must have been such a lonely and horrible time for him, and you bring out the emotion of it really well! Gah, it really hit me when Remus thinks back over the past year and how they had drifted apart. It just made me so sad for Remus :( But, that he had felt more and more alienated from the group is a great exploration of why Remus never saw Peter for what he was. I have always thought Remus was a very observant and perceptive character and that surely he would have noticed Peter's odd behaviour (for there must have been some/alot of odd behaviour from him) But, your explanation of alienation makes it more believable that he wouldn't have noticed. Fantastic. In fact, filling plot holes from the Marauder era is something you have done persistently throughout this series. And done it well, really well!!

Gah, this line got me 'Of course it's the werewolf who had the finger of blame' How awful for Remus to feel his friends would think this of him!! Although, I feel this is more his own insecurities making him think that, than anything concrete that had happened. It must have been a very low time for him :(

I loved the Christmas flashback :) Seeing them all together at a far happier time was just lovely! So light and fun, but with an undertone of the tragedy that was to come. Peter being late - was he really with his mum? I actually doubt it, not that he would have raised any suspicion here. And the undercurrent of the build up of tension between Sirius and Remus at Lily's remarks about Harry. It is a very small hint of it, but it was there. It was great that you hinted at this here but kept the focus on the positive side of this flashback. I loved the banter between them all :) (as always!) it had me giggling, especially this line from Sirius 'Domesticated. It's what we feared' loved it!

Gah, the ending!! It was heart breaking :(
This line really got me 'He knew deep down that he'd never know friendship and community like he did with his friends during the war' I just wanted to give Remus a hug at this. His life after this tragedy would not have been much better than Sirius's, yes Remus had his freedom but he had no-one to share it with, no-one to really help him through his grief :(

The quote at the start was so beautifully interwoven through this chapter. It was perfect! (I meant to mention in my review for the Sirius chapter how wonderfully you had matched the chapter to the quote, it was pure brilliance :D I was annoyed wih myself that I forgot to mention it so had to mention it here)

This was an amazing end to this short story collection. I am so sad that this is the end, I have truly enjoyed every single chapter of this fantabulous series! Thank you for such a great read :D

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: I've been sitting on this for a few days - I just like re-reading it. :)

This was probably an all time low for Remus. I really don't know what he would have done after this to bring himself out of the lull he's in here. :( I had to think of why none of them would put the facts together about Peter - I'm really glad you like how I justified his ignorance. I'm always flattered that you like my work.

I thought it was something in PoA about Sirius thinking he was the spy (and because he was a werewolf was part of the explanation).

Christmas was so bittersweet to write. I am glad it was light and fun and that the darker feeling oozed through. I wanted to have people suspicion of what Peter was really doing. You're the only one who thought that so it makes me incredibly happy!!

I wanted to hug and curl up with Remus (*cough* married, I know *cough*) after writing this chapter. I agree - Remus and Sirius had an equally miserable life after the war.

:D It's fantabulous that the quotes weaved with the chapters. Thank you so much for saying that.

I'm really glad you liked this story (and chapter). It's been a joy to write (though quite sad at times). Your reviews for this has been incredible!

-ROse


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Review #19, by HaronioneA Moment of Fear: Sirius

1st November 2013:
I will start this review by apologising for how long it has taken me to get here! Real life has been a bit manic... but it has calmed down now so here I am :)

You gave me the feels right from the first paragraph -you set the tone well with Sirius being left alone, watching the last things he loved vanish. And then when he says 'Goodbye, Prongs' just gah, goodbyes always get me! The feels only increased as I read on.

I loved this line, even though it made me sad :( The sight of James and Lily's house ruined and full of death had nearly stopped Sirius' heart and then Sirius felt all hope had left the world forever and He was stuck in a forsaken emotional wasteland Just so sad, and would be just how Sirius would have felt. Beautifully written!

It was a great touch to have Sirius wishing he'd paid more attention to Peter's habits. Maybe if he had he wouldn't have been in this situation and Peter would not have survived a year as a traitor! And that this brought Sirius to realise that Remus was gone to him too was sad - he really was all alone :(

Ha, I love that you had Peter grow up in Lewisham - I used to live near Lewisham, it's the perfect place for that ratbag to have grown up ;)

When Sirius finally catches up with Peter he would definitely not have been in his right mind, and therefore his magical abilities would have been affected. This is a great explanation for how Peter managed to best Sirius here.

Gah, you got me again when Sirius starts hearing James :( The humour in that first conversation with James lightened the mood slightly, but then bam, you hit me with the feels again! You do this very well, Rose! That he starts conversing with James at this time is a fantastic explanation for the outward manicness of Sirius when he was captured.

Oh my, Rose, the conversation in The 'broom cupboard'. You made me cry! I asked you not to!! That was just so touching and emotional :'( And also it was a great portrayal of their relationship!

Your description of Sirius's time in Azkaban and his thought processes that led him to attempt wandless magic to eventually transform were fantastic. You explored the reasons why the Dementors didn't affect him really well - to most freedom from Azkaban would have been a happy one, but not for Sirius, not at that time when he would not really be free, just entering another type of hell really!

I absolutely loved that last conversation, that it was James that guided Sirius to his actions! I just love the thought that James was still with him, still being the friend he always had been :)

As I've told you before, Sirius is my favourite character and his story really makes me sad, it's so tragic! I feel you have written this part of his story perfectly, even if you've made it even sadder then I already found it. You have characterised him brilliantly here and, despite the fact that you made me cry, I really enjoyed reading this chapter - so thank you!

I'm off to buy some more tissues now, I shall invoice you for them later heehee ;)

Author's Response: I'm just glad when I get reviews from you. :D They're always so awesome and full of squee.

I am so sorry I made you cry. :( I'll magic some tissue your way... expect delivery any time. :P

It was emotionally hard for me to write this chapter. I tried to use James and Sirius' conversations to lighten the mood (I hadn't planned on using James but then I realized I was writing something too sad and without any dialogue).

I imagine that Sirius came up with a lot of regrets (including the wish he paid more attention to Peter). I also wanted to throw that in there to justify how I characterize Sirius in my Remus/Tonks stories (where's he's a bit more observant and notices subtle things between them). I justify my own canon at times. :P

I randomly picked Lewisham. I'm so glad it fits. I was going to say "South London" but as that's a real place I looked what the different boroughs were. :D

When I was writing the conversation between James and Sirius in the alley, I felt I needed to justify how Fudge described his behavior when captured. Besides having gone off the deep end slightly, if he were having a conversation with James in his head, he'd come off as quite mad and deranged.

:( I wasn't aiming for tears with the broom cupboard conversation. I'm really glad it showed their relationship in a good way though. I guess I did hit heavier topics with Sirius not wanting to be alone.

Yes! I was desperately trying to justify how he ended up trying to use magic and why he didn't break out sooner. I mean, he would have gone mad if he didn't discover he could transform but once he discovered he could do that level of magic, why not leave? All of this bothered me and I had to talk about it or I'd feel all plot-holey.

I'm really glad you enjoyed this chapter despite the tears it caused. I got all sorts of sad when I was writing it and thinking through it. It's always great when I can get feedback from a huge fan of the person I'm writing. Anytime I get your feedback it's even more awesome.

Thank you so much for reviewing this! I hope you like Remus' chapter when you get a chance to read it. It's sad but less sad than this was.

-Rose


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Review #20, by HaronioneBefore We Were Heroes: Chalk Dust On the Hourglass

22nd October 2013:
Ah, so this is set the year before Harry starts Hogwarts? I have to say I have not read any stories set during this time (or any time between Harry going to the Dursley's and him starting Hogwarts) so I am very interested to see where you are taking this plot :)

So, considering Elsie says (or thinks) that this is only the second time she has seen Snape I'm guessing they definitely don't have a history as I was wondering in the last chapter! But now I wonder whether some kind of relationship will be forged between them (romantic or not). It appears Elsie is a bit older than I presumed since she knows Molly and Arthur - I was imagining her to have been at school around the same time the Marauders and Snape were.

Ooh, is the note from Severus? Or Sybil? They are the only two I can think if right now. I'm going to have to read on now to find out who it is and why they want to meet her!!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm so glad that you are enjoying it. There is definitely more of Elsie's backstory to come so I hope you keep reading!

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Review #21, by HaronioneBefore We Were Heroes: The Hint of A Curse

22nd October 2013:
I really liked the opening paragraph. After finding out virtually nothing about Elsie in the first chapter (which wasn't a bad thing - it added to the mystery and intrigue) it was great to find out a bit more about her while still leaving some mystery around her. I am now even more eager to read on to find out why she has been living as little more than a vagrant and why Dumbledore thinks she will be able to teach the students more than any of the others teachers could - she must have been through quite a few ordeals for Dumbledore to think that!

I think you got the attitudes of the teachers spot on here; all of them disputing Dumbledore's thoughts about needing to prepare the students for what's out there; Trelawny worrying about the curse but everyone else laughing it off etc I enjoyed this little glimpse at how staff meetings may have been like at Hogwarts :)

Ha, I loved Dumbledore's vague advice about teaching, very Dumbledore like. I could really see him being like that. But it didn't really help poor Elsie though!! No wonder Elsie felt unprepared! I look forward to seeing how she gets on with her classes :)

I'm wondering whether Elsie and Severus knew each other before she got the teaching position and whether there is any history between them - I guess I will find out as I read on ;)

This was another great chapter and I shall definitely be reading on!

Haronione ♥

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Review #22, by HaronioneBefore We Were Heroes: Dragons In Bolton

22nd October 2013:
This was a strong first chapter and I really enjoyed reading it :)

The descriptions in this were great and you really set the scene well. I am intrigued by this first chapter and I'm left wanting to read on to find out who the two hooded characters are - I'm guessing Dumbledore is the man who entered unnoticed. As for the woman - I'm interested to find out who she is, where she has been and why she has come back!

Great first chapter, I look forward to reading more :)

Haronione ♥

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Review #23, by HaronioneThe Joker and Her: Sorting

20th October 2013:
Hi Illuminate, here for the review battle :)

This was another great chapter! I felt sorry for Brienne having to have a boat to herself, she must have felt quite out of place being with all the first years! I really really liked that she was impressed by her first sight of the castle - very different to the attitudes the Beauxbatons students had in GoF!

I also liked how the first years all looked up to Brienne to lead them when they first got to the castle, of course they would've seen her as an older, more knowledgable student and not as another newbie like themselves!

Aw, poor Brienne, being made the centre of attention at the sorting - no wonder she went red!! I think I would've too! You wrote the sorting hat well and I felt that the characteristics the hat mentioned had definitely been shown by Brienne in these chapters. I felt bad for her that she was mostly ignored whilst at the Gryffindor table, but I'm sure she'll be making friends soon ;) I really hope so, she certainly needs some!

All in all this was a great chapter, I enjoyed seeing Brienne's sorting and how it was slightly different. I look forward to reading on and seeing Brienne start classes and adjust to her new life at Hogwarts :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so glad you liked this chapter, thank you very much for reviewing! :D

Thanks again!


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Review #24, by HaronioneEpitaph of a Good Man: Good Luck Charm

16th October 2013:
I really like Tonks's clumsiness :) very canon characterisation of her but it's not overdone to make it her main characteristic! And I loved Remus's line about the umbrella stand, made me giggle :) Also I loved how Remus is described as being calm and soothing during the shrieking, very Remus like. These things that Tonks notices show that early on she thought more of Remus than she realises herself (did I make sense there, not sure if I did :-/)

Aw I love that Tonks didn't let her clumsiness get her down and used her other talents to detract from her domestic insufficiency ;) and when she left her 'moody' nose on when the real moody turned up and started the meeting haha! Ooh, and I really liked the interaction between Moody and Tonks :) if anyone was to bring out Moody's lighter side (well kind of) it would be Tonks, I think anyway!

Heehee, loved the part with the phone call from Vernon - he really is a pompous wally!

Aw, I love that they were all excited about meeting Harry, and how Remus and Sirius were gushing over him :)

I think my absolute favourite part of this was the bit with the 'dark' sweaters, that was just awesome :) Actually, i liked all of Remus and Tonks's interaction that followed that.

Ooh, Tonks was very impulsive at the end there - loved it! I look forward to seeing how they both deal with that when they next see each other :)

This chapter was great and really had me giggling at times (got some strange looks from my daughter!) Looking forward to chapter 3 - see you there ;)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi!

I had to work at not making Tonks just clumsy. I've read a lot of fics where that's her main characteristic and it always bothers me. hehe, I'm glad I made you giggle (if you keep reading this your people might force your cause of giggling out of you :P) I completely get what you mean about Tonks liking Remus more than she realizes. :D

It was funny because when I wrote her spilling all the butterbeer I was trying to justify why Molly already thinks her a clutz when Harry makes it there (and why everyone knew about her nose stuff). I am glad it works in the story. I thought it was a bit forced/awkward at first. Tonks definitely does bring out Moody's lighter side :D

Remus and Sirius gushing was a bit of a fun part to write about. I'm sure they both feel like segregate father figures.

The the dark sweater idea had me in giggles for a long time. I still giggle about it when my husband knits something. :D :D I am glad you liked their convo after that and the impulsive smooch. A lot and not a lot happens because of it. :P (I'm horrible with spoilers)

I am so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you for giving me the grins!


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Review #25, by HaronioneEpitaph of a Good Man: Clumsy Meeting

15th October 2013:
Hello there :) I'm finally here... I think you've been expecting me ;) heehee

So, first off, I absolutely loved the opening paragraph! It really drew me in and made me want to read on - not many stories do that just from the first paragraph!

I really liked how you had Tonks essentially inviting herself into the order after being a bit nosy :) It seemed quite realistic that they would be a bit hesitant to let her in the order. When she says she'd never met such a strange group of people - haha, they really would look like a strange combination of people/personalities.

I love that you didn't have Tonks instantly fall for Remus, and I loved the line about her first thoughts of Remus :) I felt it was a great characterisation of Tonks, the way she was confident and chipping in with her ideas and thoughts during the meeting - could really see her being that way.

The interactions between the characters was done really well, and I enjoyed getting this glimpse into life at 12 Grimauld Place before Harry gets there. I loved the little canon touches you put in here - like Sirius, Hermione and Ron all suffering from owl related injuries :) and Molly getting angry and confiscating all the twins www stuff!

I had always assumed that the order all knew what they were guarding but were keeping it from the kids, but I can see that maybe Dumbledore didn't tell them - or at least not just yet.

I really liked the end of this chapter, how although Tonks wasn't consciously intrigued by Remus she still thought about their moment by the portrait :) I'm really looking forward to see how you develop their relationship!

Great first chapter!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: I giggled a good deal with "you've been expecting me." I really shouldn't check for reviews while on my phone in a meeting. The smirking and muffled laughter is kind of awkward.

I think the intro paragraph was the first thing I had written for that and launched my whole story. I am really glad you like it!!! Not all of my writing is that snappy and cool.

Well, if you get through this and read How I Killed my Lover, you'll see a different side to Tonks getting into the Order. She may have been led to it more than she thinks ;). But, yeah, it gave me a few laughs to think of her nosing her way into a secret society.

I couldn't have written something so drab as love at first sight. That definitely wasn't their relationship MO. :D :D I'm really glad you like how I spun Tonks. She's one of my favorite people to write as (at the time I first wrote the she was kind of my hero and I saw a lot of similarities between us (but you should forget I said that in a few chapters)).

Life at 12 Grimamauld place was a hoot to write about. I did reference OotP a million times (because this was before wiki took off O.o) and triple checked every canon detail. It was a mania but I'm glad it worked well in the story. I weaved this in with canon plot points as much as possible because I wanted to make people believe.

I think they knew eventually (part of me thinks that's what the big meeting was when Harry got there) and that only a people really knew beforehand.

I'm so excited you're started on this story!! I really hope you like it!! It's kind of my literary child. ^_^

Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm excited to read your feedback throughout this story.


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