Reading Reviews From Member: Marshal
204 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MarshalHero: Mystery

30th April 2017:
Yet another lovely chapter and a lot is building up here and I am loving it. This is such an interesting story! Seriously this is going to be added to my reading list after CTF is over. You were someone I was hoping was the flag particularly this story as I have been enjoying it.

I have said it before and I'll say it again that I love how you've built Hero as a character and given her so much depth and I love how you are playing with Tom and Rebeus building them up for the story and showing the true nature of each but keeping things ambigious enough for Hero - who is SUCH a Gryffindor by the by.

I mean seriously wanting to investigate when the professors are already doing that? SUCH A GRYFFINDOR! Still it makes for an interesting character and I love it!

Also, please forgive me if I am repeating myself but the incorporation of the Dark Arts book that Tom will end up using was a nice touch and I love how you don't fully stain Tom with it and yet we know he totally uses it. Also his questions about the muggle boy and inquiring about Hero's interest in him was so nicely done subtle and to the point! Wonderful job and I do look forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much! It means a lot that it's on your reading list :)
Thanks again for the review!

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Review #2, by MarshalA New Way of Life: The Ecstasy of Running

30th April 2017:
Oh this was so interesting. I had this pegged as Draco from the start and just had a feeling that it was going to be him. I like the slow reveal of it being Draco. I also like how you had him get into running and made him average but happy with that.

Seriously the prose in this was powerful, clean and amazing. Your passion for running is very clear in this piece and reflects nicely into how you wrote Draco. I am not a racer myself but I've been writing a character who is a competitive swimmer so I totally get the concept and thrill about being better than before. It seems to me in racing it isn't entirely about win or loos it is all about being better than you were before - it seems to be a competition against yourself.

Also I am horrified to think someone would sabotage a runner who isn't even in the lead of the pack - not to say I don't believe it happened to you (though I don't know where you were in your race) or that it couldn't happen to Draco but seriously I'm like what is the point? Asking this of the sabatore not you. People don't always make sense to me but that is what makes them and stories interesting. I honestly really liked this story!

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Review #3, by MarshalLetters from Amanda: Letters From Amanda

29th April 2017:
Okay first off I typically LOVE werewolves but this this was so sad and my love of werewolves did not get to come into play. This was incredibly sad Amanda pulling away from her loved ones when she could have stayed with them as they would have accepted her. Then for the ending to happen as it did. That was just wow. It is a lot to take in. No tears this time but another very sad piece. Me thinks we have a theme going for a lot of your writing - not a bad thing that some people have a theme I know I do in my writing.

Still such a sorrowful piece. It is interesting that you have mentioned that suicide is common among new wolves. I have never thought about that much particularly myself. I have put a LOT of thought into werewolves but I never even considered or thought about for a second about the possible suicide rate among them! That will be something for me to chew on and consider when I work on writing more stories about werewolves in the future so thank you for giving me that food for thought! I'll have to keep in in mind for certain.

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Review #4, by MarshalWishes: Wishes

29th April 2017:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME JAYNA!? Here I am ready to cry once more! I am not liking you right now! (Please take not offense - your writing is lovely but it is so sad! I don't want to be sad right now)

Still while this was sad and got my eyes to water this was also so sweet - I love James - the older one particularly his love and concern for Harry is so touching. I just warms my heart I think that is why it makes me almost cry. I can't imagine what is going through Harry's head at the moment after reading that surprise letter from his father. In some ways I can imagine that being exciting and difficult for him at the same time. It has so much meaning getting a letter from is long lost father. This is just wow, like seriously I am failing at words at the sweetness and the emotions of this story!

Also you did a very nice job on mixing the past with the present and I love that there is more than just blood at the part that are called family - I can imagine that while Harry lost his parents and married into the Weasley clan that he has a HUGE family with those that he loves and considers close to him. Honestly beautiful job.

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Review #5, by MarshalThe Swift Death: How it progressed

29th April 2017:
Oh! such a sad chapter! I am like ready to want to cry! You had the emotion spot on here! I mean, Ginny being a mom always putting her emotions aside for his kids despite dying. Then how the kids too the news was sweet and touching. The hug at the end! My goodness the emotions are strong. I was going to say I hope a cure is found but seeing the chapter title of chapter 3 and the title of the story I am not holding my breath.

Over all I think you did a good job here and the dialogue did not feel bad or out of place so while you call it your weakness I think you did well. The kids thinking they were in trouble and Albus sort of throwing his sister under the bus with with not-so-quiet remark to his brother was lovely and was amusing particularly in this very sad chapter that makes my heart break ever so.

Again you did a very nice job with the emotion so much so that I don't know if I will want to read chapter 3 cause I am sure while this chapter brought my near tears the next will make them fall and rip my heart completely out and I don't know if I can handle that tonight!

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Review #6, by MarshalGoodbye: Pillowcase

29th April 2017:
Aww little Dobby all young and cute! This story was so sweet and sad at the same time! I have seen a few Dobby stories but not one like this not one with him and a youngling like this all scared and sad to leave his mom to go work for his new family.

I have never seen a story that looks at the inside of the house elf world and I think you depicted the concept of slavery very nicely while a lot of elves don't fully acknowledge or realize their enslavement as we see in the books ala Dobby being the only one to clean Gryffindor because of the hats that Hermione leaves lying around and how Winky is distraught at being set free. Still it is slavery and you see the pain of it in this story with Dobby not wanting to leave his mother and begging to stay and wanting to ask 'master' to stay. It just breaks my heart a bit.

It is sweet though that Dobby wants to live up to the inscription on his pillow case - and I now can't help but wonder if Dobby went back to visit his mum. I could see him doing it but I could see him not doing it because I'm sure his mum would find it shameful that Dobby had found himself as a free elf despite the fact that Dobby clebrates and revels in it!

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Review #7, by MarshalLove Letters to the Dead: Remus John Lupin

29th April 2017:
I admit I am very torn on this, I am not sure if Harry would wait so long in telling Teddy the truth. I mean I get it and it makes sense to me but I gives me pause at the same time. About how old are you figuring Teddy to be here? It was hard to tell his age in this story which makes judging the realism of it hard to do. (Suppose I could do the math seeing as we know how much older Teddy is to James, Albus and Lily but my head is not there for mathematics) So maybe he is eleven-ish? That is awfully old to finally be told if he is that old in this fic - I mean if he was seven eight maybe so he could understand but I think Harry and Ginny would want to honor the memory or Remus and Tonks and have their son think on the as best as possible.

I will say you are pretty spot on in the anger department I think. I think any kid would be angry at first becuase it isn't fair to not have their real parents.

Also I think this is the first story I've read that has Teddy as a bonafied Potter raised by Harry and Ginny. Most fics I read has Teddy raised by Andromeda Tonks - so kudos on a different take!

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Review #8, by MarshalStay: Stay

29th April 2017:
Okay this was a cute little moment between Rose and Scorpius. I admit that I am not a person who typically ships them but I accept that most of the fandom either ships them or ships Scorpius and Albus and have come to terms with that. Still this moment was adorable. I like how the characters fight and yet the important thing is forgiving and coming back together.

I also like how you added reality and imperfections to the characters in such a short quick piece. I mean trying to break the habit of nail biting. Most people would not think to include that is something so quick and sweet and yet you have! Kudos to you!

Also your descriptions here are super cute, and you created some very clear, nice and lovely images that I just totally adore and it made me love this story and particularly like your Rose and Scorpius as a couple like straight up. If this was a chapter fic rather than just a one shot I would consider reading more of this because I like how you have handled the characters and the couple here and I did enjoy the story.

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Review #9, by MarshalThe Seer: Epileptic

29th April 2017:
So excited to be back for another chapter of this story. I have been really enjoying this story! I particularly like how you have handled Harry. He is very much him in my opinion and also very much a dad just like you made Ginny very much a mum on the other chapters.

The way you have set up for James to bee a seer has been very interesting and I like how his abilities are coming with some serious side effects. I also love how you have been handling epilepsy. This fic is fantastic and I am excited and happy to be reading another chapter of the story. I am curious where things will go from here.

THere is a lot that can happen what with James' playing of quidditch which may now be lost to him due to the risks of flying and sudden seizures and then his issues with Albus still being better than him, it is a lot to take in for a young man and you having his mind running around like that is interesting. I look forward to reading more of this story after capture flag the flag is done! Be sure that I will be back for more as this story is super fantastic!

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Review #10, by MarshalWalking the Line: two [come as you are]

29th April 2017:
This was an interesting chapter and I have to say that on some levels I can relate to Alex/Alexandra, I am not genderqueer - but more of a grey-asexual. Thus I totally get the not being interested in the whole conversation of the merits of the the opposite gender. I learned how to talk about it to seem normal because when I was school i didn't know anything about different gender preferences and orientations. Still I get it.

When I started this story I thought there was going to be a thing regarding the binary regarding head boy and head girl but maybe that is to come a bathroom is an interesting place to start though particularly seeing as there has been some polarized conversations about it in the present day I think the conversation has become less forefront topic as it was several months back but it is still interesting all the same to see where it goes in the real world as I am sure it will be interesting to see where it goes in your fic and where you will take things for Alex/Alexandra and how they work to identify and non-binary and make the world see that.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you liked the chapter and it's wonderful to hear you can relate to Alex.

The binary about head boy and head girl is definitely somewhere this topic can lead as well. Honestly there's so much about Hogwarts (and, really, society) that's segregated by gender so there's lots of other places for this conversation to start too. But yes, that's such a good point.

Yes, I started writing this before it became a hot topic, and then was posting the story around the time it was a hot topic, but since I'm a slow writer the issue has faded into the background of the news and I'm still not done writing. :P That's okay though, because it's still an important topic even if the news is focusing on other things now.

Thanks so much for your review! I really appreciate it.

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Review #11, by MarshalLife As We Know It: chapter one

29th April 2017:
Ooo! An interesting start for a Dramione. I don't think I've seen one placed in the sixth year like this but it makes a whole load of sense and I think it will totally work.

I also love that you have not gone off and made Ron a jerk and going back to Lavender or something of the like. I like how you are setting things up for this story and you are doing a nice job thus far for keeping things canon. I am good with Dramione's but I just never like Ron being a jerk much and the idea of him going back to Lavender after breaking up with her has never made sense to me. But what you have works and I am curious to see where you go from here.

This is just the start and there is a lot of potential and you already having me feeling for Hermione not only huring to lose Ron but to have it be Lavender. Then to rub salt in the wound Draco has seen her embarrassment, poor girl.

I may very well need to come back to this story after capture the flag is over becuase there are so many questions in my head like how you are going to handle Draco with the task he has been assigned of killing Dumbledore and yet potentially being with Hermione. I would like to see how you take and handle this!

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Review #12, by MarshalThe three little brothers: The three litle pigs

29th April 2017:
Okay! This was different! I started to read and I was like a re-telling of the Peverill brothers? I was like this is familiar to tale found in the extra book that JK Rowling released. I mean the tone was dead on with it! It confused me for a minute. Then I started recognizing the three little pigs.

It had me so confused for a minute, but honestly this was funny and clever. I'd never think of mixing two fairy tales into one and yet here you did. It amused me. I think my favorite part of this story is how you have written this your voice and tone is fantastic! It is such a dark fairy tale feel that hearkens to the Tales of of the Beadle the Bard. So fantastic work on doing that - not many people can manage that voice and manage it well, I am honestly jealous that you did it. IT is a fantastic story voice to have! You should totally do more stories like this maybe even tell your own tale I think you could totally manage it!

Anyway, thank you for a fun little tale and read! I certainly enjoyed it.

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Review #13, by MarshalFlames of Calamity: Brave.

29th April 2017:
Funny enough the last fic I read was for the same competition! Anyway this was an interesting story reading the battle of Hogwarts from the perspective a different character I tend to like fics that do that. (I have a few written myself.)

I will say you take a different view of Susan that I don't often see but it is realistic. Some people would be scared stiff in the throws of battle they know what is right, what they need to do but they fear to take action to do what needs to be done and fear for their own lives. While some say that is low I don't think it is. It is human and I cannot fault Susan but you have her as an amazing character who over comes her fear and does fantastic when she does.

Honestly, good work with this story and how you mixed in some of the challenge words was very nicely done too! Kudos for mixing in some unrelated topics and objects and making them a natural rather than forced part of the story.

I am truly becoming a fan of your work, having read this and a few chapters of Seer, I can readily say I enjoy what you write and I am hoping you are the flag author not just for the game but then I get to read more of your lovely work!

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Review #14, by MarshalTask One Challenge: Romanian Longhorn: Task One Challenge: Romanian Longhorn

29th April 2017:
Reading the title of the story I so thought that this was going to be a fic regarding the Triwizard tournament. I kept waiting for it to come up like maybe a future competition seeing as Susan was working with the dragons at this time - telling me that this is post the 2nd war but it wasn't.

Still this was a different kind of story. I don't read many stories that involve dragons when it comes to the world of Harry Potter which is funny considering I am fond of dragons in general (I love How to Train Your Dragon after all).

Still it was interesting to see the life of dragon healers. I never imagined that there would be a compound where dragons are kept enclosed after a fashion and tended to. It is interesting to think about.

I rather enjoyed the ending of the story where Charlie is delirious from pain but offering huge compensation, new healer jackets and best of all ice cream Fridays. That made me smile. I wonder if he really did say that or if Susan was putting words into his mouth. Either way it is an amusing final line.

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Review #15, by MarshalSilky Blue: Silky Blue

28th April 2017:
This was going to be a jail break review for CTF but Puffs found the flag before I could post it so here it is anyway:

Deamus! I don't know what it is about this particular couple but I do simply just love them. They just speak to me in a way. Yet you made it sad! How dare you! You have broken my heart, ripped it out and trampled on it! I am now very cross with you. How could you do all of that to Dean!? Even Seamus a little though Dean has it worse.

Poor boys both feeling that they have to hide their feelings and who they are. They had a brief shining moment and then they on some levels pretend it never happened and never admit and confess their feelings to one another. It is just so sad! There is Seamus trying to give hints and Dean misses them and fears confessing the truth. You are too right in the end that fear won and it conquered. :-(

Then Seamus having a girl, who is pregnant adds to the issues and the pain here in the story. Just ug!

Also how did Seamus die? It seems so abrupt and sudden to the characters and yeah emotions - lots of them. You are a cruel cruel author but it was lovely and written very very well. While I am sad and complaining the story is good.

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Review #16, by MarshalThis Predicament: The Beginning of It All

28th April 2017:
Generally speaking I like Ron. Here he is a dirty rotten scoundrel and I was shouting out loud a term that is not 12+. (If you must know the 3 letter word that can also mean donkey.) I honestly LOATH your Ron. Loath him! This isn't a remark on your writing in the least love! This is a remark on the character. If this was an OF and his name was bob I would be expressing my hatred for Bob. Particularly after announcing an engagement to one woman and then shortly after having intimate times with his ex who he knows still has feelings for him and then after telling her that it all meant nothing. It has me seething. I loath characters like that and I hope in future chapters Ron gets his comeuppance! It is no less than he as a character in this story deserves!

Anyway enough ranting about your Ron here! As a character, I like your Hermione. Her voice was good thought I think as a way to add to the impact of how mad she is at Ron it would do well if she calls him Ronald once - my head kept saying that when she was talking it despite you having written Ron. But if you don't the story still flies and it will be nice to see Hermione happy in the end!

PS Again please don't take my hatred of Ron here as a flame because it isn't that was just my emotional response and honestly to get such an emotional response is indicative of good writing!

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Review #17, by MarshalHis most faithful follower: A deathly end

28th April 2017:
Bellatrix as a legilmence, so interesting! I never thought of her to be one but you did a nice job of using that. Her being able to tell who people were and to sense Harry's thoughts though invisible is interesting, though it makes me wonder why Voldemort didn't do the same to find Harry as Voldemort was an accomplished legilmence as well.

Still, Bellatrix's feelings and thoughts in the fight were quite interesting. I love how she is shocked at Molly being equal to her and yet denying it at the same time. That was probably my favorite part. Of course poor Bellatrix (not that I feel sympathy for her) doesn't realize that by taunting Molly that she makes Molly fight all the harder and by that one line pretty much sealed her own fate.

I also love how there were a lot of people coming close to trying to help Molly but I love how Molly is all "I've got this" You certainly caught the feelings of the moment and I think it is interesting that you took the time to add a few lines of what happened after Bellatrix died while most of the story was being told from her perspective. Interesting story to say the least!

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Review #18, by MarshalWalking the Line: one [with a little help from my friends]

27th April 2017:
There was a lot of sweet innocents in this chapter. I honestly loves how you described the characters as little eleven year old kids. It massively amuses me how short and little you've made them all. It makes me kind of want to squish them.

How you did the sorting is so different from most other sortings that I've read. Then at the end the last paragraph. Oh my goodness! I didn't know that this story was going to be about a non-binary character. That was not something I picked up in the summary and I know that this will be something that will be interesting to see how you progress forward with the story. I can see sort of what traditions that Alex is trying to defy. It will be interesting to see how you will be addressing the whole tradition of a girl and boy prefect and head boy and head girl. Poor Alex they are in for an interesting time and I wish them the best of luck in what they will try to do.

You are very ambitious for tackling this type of concept and this story. I also love the comparison you make between the innocence of a 1st year and an older student trying to find for their non-binary gender to be recognized. It will be interesting to see more!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for stopping by! I'm so glad you enjoyed this first chapter with all the little first years and how short they were :P

Wow, thanks! I'm so glad you liked the sorting, and that you thought it was really different. And I'm so thrilled to hear that you're interested in reading more about Alex and that you liked the last paragraph that hints about the rest of the story. This is such a wonderful response to the story, I'm so happy that you like where it's headed!

Thank you so much! I'm so glad to hear that you like the story so far, and I really appreciate the review!

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Review #19, by MarshalHero: Riddles in the Dark

27th April 2017:
OH MY GOODNESS! Can I just say how much I love love LOVE your use of Shakespeare in this? It just made my heart happy all the away around. Call it me being a bit of a literary nerd and being a fan of Shakespeare. I think it quite clever how you had a character use a line from it as well.

After reading the last chapter but not the first I was surprised to see Hero is in Gryffindor, that adds to the depth and levels of the story some.

I have to say I really like your Tom thus far. I love the small bit about him talking about names and how they are important and complimenting Hero on her name. It speaks a lot to his character and what we know of him and yet the words are so simple and innocent at the same time. I find this to be very clever. I also like how you had Tom familiar with mythology and reference that as well. It makes my nerdy heart happy!

Anyway this is an interesting story thus far and I really like the suspense you are building. I also am fond of how you are devolving Hero as a character, particularly the pressure in her life that she is feeling. It makes her very real and compelling. Great job!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the Shakespeare! I can never resist using inspiration from him in some story or another :P

Thanks for the review! ♥

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Review #20, by MarshalIt's All In Your Head: Chapter One

25th April 2017:
Oh wow! So interesting! Lysander transgender to Lysandra and made head girl. Very progressive! I like it though it is surprising some ways - I wonder a little how the wizarding world addresses gender fluidity. I know there are a lot of struggles for the transgendered in the muggle world, and I feel the wizarding is older and more staunch in their judgemental ways than muggles as a whole even if the feelings are wrong. Still the wizarding world can be surprising. Also it is the future and we have already seen some wonderful strides for the LGBTQA+ community presently, though it frequently feels like a back and forth thing.

Anyway the family dynamic outside of the twins is interesting. Rolf being awkward and maybe out of it? This is different and interesting I do not often see Next Genetation stories that focus on the scarmander twins. Also it amuses me how you mention the trope of head boy head girl shenanigans not happening and the you guaranteed it by doing a brother sister combo, very clever.

All the same this chapter promises an interesting story to follow.

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Review #21, by MarshalLetters From the Sky: I.

25th April 2017:
Ooo, a Snape and Lily fic! I am a big fan of Snilly no matter what form it takes canon or not. Clearly you went canon and you did an amazing job with it. I am not familiar with the song you worked with but the anger and love throughout the piece was felt and you worked with the proverb very well.

I have never imagined the relationship between Lily and Snape would be so strained even before what happened at the lake but it makes a lot of sense. Thus playing nicely to the love and hate.

Honestly this fic kind of makes me want to squish Snape in hugs which I am sure he would not appreciate (but my non slytherin, puffish nature insists!)

As for the style here, it was lovely! I think you did a fabulous job. I love the definituons breaking up the scenes it gave a nice note and feel for each section and directed the emotions. Seriously lovely and kudos for think of that! It really works amazingly well in this fic.

Seriously a great job on this story, it pulls the heart strings and gives a lovely clear picture of Lily and Snape and you handled Snape's voice very well also.

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Review #22, by MarshalRegulus Arcturus Black: Now I Was Gone

25th April 2017:
Regulus! I always love Regulus fics. He is such an interesting character and your take of how he became a death eater is interesting. Yet it is also so sad. You really feel for Regulus here. The romance you built was nicely done and then the loss was equally poignant.

So I am guessing you went a little AU with this?

I ask because you are showing Regulus standing before his now former love and the Dark Lord. My impression from the book was Regulus died in that cave via the inferni. It has been a while since I read the books though. Still, what you have written is strong and powerful and a true hit in the gut that the woman who was his ling time friend and former love is calloused toward him and I believe also ratted on him to Voldemort.

Also your use of the word blink for each scene was an interesting touch. It gave a clear sign that the scene is a new one with out breaking the story and helped tie things together as well as make the memories feel instantaneous and quicker to play in his mind compared to the time to read it sort of a life flashing before a person's eyes scenario.

Overall a very nice job on this story.

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Review #23, by MarshalThe high priestess: The high priestess card

25th April 2017:
Interesting and now what I would have expected based on the title of the story. Of course I know nothing of tarot so that probably makes a big difference when it comes to what I would have and would not have predicted for this story to be. Also it is interesting that Luna practices with tarot cards, I would have thought them to possibly be a muggle device but at the same time it makes sense to be in the wizarding world considering that in the muggle world we have the reading of tea leaves and crystal gazing like in the divination classes which Luna does take as a subject of study.

All the same it was a nice little snapshot of Luna and how she came to decide on painting the portraits of her friends in her room. I think you did a lovely job of capturing the sweet loving nature of Luna in this - showing that she is more than just an odd and eccentric girl. I also love that you gave a snap shot of her mother. It was a nice sweet thing and kind of gave the whole story a sense of round fullness as it were. Everything just came together and fit so perfectly and that was a nice touch how you looped and wove everything together. It was a lovely and sweet story and gave a very nice reflection of Luna.

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Review #24, by MarshalHero: Something Wicked This Way Comes

24th April 2017:
I am jumping in a chapter late, so please forgive me if I miss something. Anyway, this was a very good chapter. It took me a minute to figure out when this was but not too long. I LOVE that you are writing a story during the time when Tom Riddle was in school! Like I can't even begin. I is amazing to see original characters during this time and I think your Hero is a good voice for this story.

I love how you are setting the tension and the dark times of this particular school year as it is clear to see that Tom is 'playing' with the basalisk. I love how you have set the tone and started pointing things in the direction of what we know will happen such as Hero seeing Rubeus out late at night. I also like that you have her crushing on Tom Riddle. I think his handsome looks is something a lot of people forget about. It would not surprise me if in Hogwarts Tom was the aloof heart throb of the school. He had the looks and the charisma after all.

I know I mentioned the crush Hero has on Tom but I keep coming back to it in my mind, I mean that is brilliant really not just becuase I think Tom would be a school heart throb based on what we know but that leans credibility and believably in his favor when things get serious with Myrtle and all.

Also did your chapter title take inspiration from The Hobbit? It has a chapter titled Riddles in the Dark.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Marshal! Your reviews are so great! And I think it subconsciously did - it's not until after did I realise but it just fit perfectly!

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Review #25, by MarshalSummerbee: Summerbee

9th April 2017:
Wow! It is impressive doing the whole alphabet once through but to go again in reverse order? Color me astounded. I don't think I could manage what you have here. Fantastic job. Like seriously.

You did a nice job of crafting a tale and did something unique - I have never thought of a psychiatric institute in the wizarding world before I guess I always assumed everyone went and stayed at St. Mungos. Very clever by the way with naming the place after the inventor of the cheering charm. That was a nice little surprise to learn at the end particularly when the name worked well on its own before knowing its source.

I have to say the ending is a little sad, you get the feeling that Norah Vane is not getting out at all despite Lucy's beliefs - I think that because of how Norah acted at the end and told Lucy to never come back.

Also I think you made a very accurate point about goodbye parties being a bit like funerals, you celebrate the person moving on to bigger and better things but it is also a goodbye which is many times sad.

Anyway aside from the impressive use of the alphabet you did well with the story and it was a good read.

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