Now this one's a beauty! Everything was summed up with his work and effort... I love that Amelia came! (Nothing could really hold her back, right? ^_^) 10/10, old friend, for reading this was an adventure I'll never forget. =D
Good luck on your writing travels, by the way! *huggle*
~Meli♥Author's Response: She did and nothing would ever stop her. Glad you liked it and I have Some Good Guys Wear Black posted if you want to read that one or some of my other ones. Report Review
Nothing to say except: great chapter! The death of Albus Dumbledore will never be forgotten on all of us readers, will it? Goodness, the ending's almost here! *beam* =]
~Meli♥Author's Response: Nope, even if he dies more peacefully then he ever did in canon. Yes, and what an ending it is. Report Review
The random Vampire was hillarious! But I'm so glad that Arista is back! lol - May Draco find peace in his mind if he's going to hear Kit and Scout's singing... *giggles* =D It was great to see the SR's once more, and it would be awesome to see all the pairings out in the open when the end is read... (Well, when I read the ending ;D)
~Meli♥Author's Response: It was just waiting there, LOL!
Not very likely, it might just drive him over the edge.
Oh yes, everything will be wrapped up at the end. Report Review
Great fight there! I loved it, despite the fact that some of the offenses were kinda... off for Severus and Lucius... ;] But the fight was still awesome though (Animagus forms and all!)! And I must read on because I have no idea how Arista will come back... :( *sniffsniff*
~Meli♥Author's Response: I invented spells for that battle, I wanted Sev to really nail Lucius since he is a Defense Master and knows lots of unusual combat spells. I also like the idea of shapeshifters battling.
Yeah, Arista needs to get help. Report Review
I'm typing along as I read, which should be an awesome thing, right? =D
Anyway... going on... Draco is the most crude of all your interpretations! He is so... snobbish, hateful, and ridiculous! And I am loving Drake beating him up squarely, though! ^_^ I just can't stand what Draco did to Crabbe... *grr* Lucius is also being a pain in the arse, too! *curses like there's no tomorrow* WoW! They're going to send Draco to apologize?! Narcissa's quite the catch indeed... and I wonder what she will do to Draco if he doesn't prevail... (And I really hope that he doesn't!!) w00t! It't didn't work out for Malfoy! Yay! (For a moment I thought it had and then I had to read over it again...! 0_0 Imagine that...) But yeah! Flick and Trish sound like a great idea! I can't wait to keep reading now... ;] 10/10!
~Meli♥Author's Response: Wonderful hope you enjoy what happens next. It's quite surprising! Report Review
"nothing is impossible with magic"
Too true, my friend, too true. =] I love how everyone from America is here! (This is hereby my second fave chapter just because!) :D And I'm just going to finish reviewing later, because it's night over where I'm at. (10:11 at the moment)
But yeah... I will continue to review... and one more thing: a thumbs up from me because you've got me in tangles about "What's going to happen next?!". ^_^ So yeah...
P/s: I've never been happy enough to revisit you! =] And I will finish, mind. ;]Author's Response: Great, I hope you really enjoy what I've got planned next! Report Review
w00t! Fantastic! I love the way you put things together! ^_^ I'm so ready for whatever's next! May Severus have all the power he needs!
Oh... I lost myself from the end, but yeah, I saw something I forgot about in the beginning:
He recalled the incident with Marietta, his four-year-old niece, just before Christmas, when Draco had hexed her beloved stuffed dog using a forbidden voodoo spell for the sheer wickedness of it.
Question: when was this?! I like totally forgot about it! (But it seems like something Draco would do, really)
Great chapter, though! And I shall read on!
=D 10/10!Author's Response: Did you read Marietta's Christmas Carol, the short story that came before this novel? If not, you should definitely do so, as it details that incident and many others. It's a sweet funny story.
Glad to hear from you again! Report Review
Wow... a chapter out of HPB...! :D Interesting way to put it (the ending). ^_^ Goodness, I've missed reading your stuff! Have you started your own personal novel yet, Snapegirl? Well, I think you probably have (if not, well, you should start one), because you have skill! =]
10/10! (And yesh, I'm going to finish this...!)
Are you having a good summer, btw?
~Meli♥Author's Response: Yes, I have written a series of novels actually and am trying to publish them. I'm having a great summer so far! Hope you are too! Report Review
Hm... I like the information of this chapter, but the substance is... jumbled. :(
I could help you if you want me to. :) It'd be fun to edit and work with grammar (seeing as mine's progressing), or I could critique. :D
So yeah... let's go with a swift critique:
As far as you've gone, I've seen that Lily's a new Vampire. Her actions are precise and still new; uncontrollable. The character lines are great (some common "your/you're" in the way... ;]), and the chapter's short... Why do you do this to me?! How long was this, anyhow? *wonders* But you did a great job. :D
Now moving on, I noticed that you wrote in Reneesme. Why would Bella and Reneesme be there? (Oh yeah, and how old would Reneesme be by the time that Lily's a sixth year? Around her 18 or 19 -- or somewhere around there. So, me thinks that you should do some research and check your stuff over once you write it).
Er... and um... if I sound sort of too rough, you don't really have to take it seriously. I'm just trying to help. & please don't hold anything against me either! However, you're free to do as you see fit - and that means that you can do things your own way.
My yahoo username: hpfanmgd13 -- if you need help or anything. I'll be ready for it and I'll make sure to leave comments along the way. But that's only if you choose to e-mail me. :]
P/s: & we're still at a 8/10. I know you can do this, I really do! :DAuthor's Response: First of all thankyou for your detailed reviews, the chapter's were all originally this length;
Renesmee would be fully grown by that time, i think she stops growing at like 17 or something? The reason behind the Cullens being in england will all be reveiled in later chapters. As for the point about Lily being ignored, i feel that she would considering her too older brothers would have all the attention as the wizarding world would want them to grow up like Harry, also i have sort of put her as me abit. As for HP fused with Twilight, why not? and i have read Breaking Dawn at least 5 times.
Anywho, next chapter should be up soon but i'm abit busy with RE and Science exams.
So probs be up in May half-term.
Estella x Report Review
Let's get straight to the point, shall we? I went to your Author page (now that I feel like I want to read from HPFF), and I found that the description for this fic was interesting. But I'm totally confused.
Okay, so... um... How in the world did Harry Potter become fused with Twilight?
That was my first thought since the Cullens are primarily from the U.S. and in Washington (hm... the west part of the US, and oh so far away from Europe). And how are they exactly interrelated with Malfoy's son?
Have you read the fourth book yet (Breaking Dawn - hehehe ^_^)? If you have, I suggest that you probably write out another group of Vampires (the Irish coven, preferably) to be part of Scorpius' background of becoming a Vampire (and heck, you'll even be able to characterize them -- :D I think that it would be something experimental and fun to do; if you like writing :]).
Another question: Lily Potter would not be ignored. She's Harry Potter's youngest daughter, for God's sake! *was confuzzled at the point that you put that in*
So um... yeah... The beginning seems to set a twisted tone. At first glance, I noticed that it goes through everything fast, too. You might want to write in a bit more in here -- or you could make a short prologue/preface (detailing out only the action scene to entice the readers :D). And then, once you fix that up, you're set to go on character backgrounds/relationships at once. :)
I'll be reading on, just so you know, okay? ;D
8/10! And keep writing!
~Meli♥ Report Review
Go Sev!!! Wonderful! (And I came to fill in my review gap...! :D)
Sorry that I haven't been around much, but my Muse hasn't let me read for a while now (yeah, I spend my time writing novels and some half-chapters for my fics. :]). I think that I have a low attention span when it's about fics on this site now-a-days...
Wonderful work, however. :P *misses your reviews*
:D Keep writing (and yes, I've seen the fic load of stuff you have on your page, and yes -- I will read them... well, some of them... *blushes and beams*). :]
P/s: A 10 for you, and your writing ability has gotten quite... long... *giggles*Author's Response: Well, hope you continue to read mine, I've been writing a lot too lately and haven't done much reviewing either, sorry! Report Review
lol! Wonderful work. I loved Helen. (*bursts out laughing*)
~Meli♥Author's Response: Aww, thanks :) Report Review
Lol. I bet that they did miss out on quite a load of work...! ^_^ Great work. And I'm trying to read on... (I haven't read or reviewed anything for the last few months, it seems...)
~Meli♥Author's Response: They did and I'm glad to see you back! I've missed you! I have lots of new stories for you to read too! Report Review
This used to be set in Hogsmeade before, didn't it? Anyway, I hope that this gets continued (and that at least the Draco/Hermione will come in later...! *hopes so*).
P/s: You better update soon! (And hopefully you'll get the plot through. 'Cause I'm waiting on it! ;D) 10/10! (It was kinda funny in the beginning) Report Review
Interesting... Why must life & fate be so cruel?
Have you noticed how many emotions I've gone through in the series of 14 minutes? --- Awe/Amazement, *loveydovey*, shock, *a raised eyebrow*, and now... *large sad frown and large teary eyes*.
Oh well, I bet that you had a good reason. Regardless, you need help with punctuation & a considerable amount of description in your fic. & Please don't give us a large paragraph that we (the readers) can get lost in! (The paragraph being the first one on this chapter)
All in all, however, this was a great fic -- I liked it.
P/s: Yes -- 10/10!!! And keep writing to get better (because I've got stuff like this that help post better stuff - and five years isn't much for change). ;D May your Muses be wide, awake, and ready to set another story in our midst...! Report Review
Dudette, like SIRIUSLY (lol), why did you have to scare us like that in the last chapter? (One minute: OH she's gonna die! The next: Oh, she's fine, don't worry. Why don't you just go on to marry each other? -- An explanation would have bettered, that but oh well... -- and I meant a good explanation - detailed and rich with facts/made-up description of how she's still alive and well!!)
P/s: Why do your chapters have to be so short? 10/10 anyway! ;D Report Review
Word... it's so OOC, but it's still valid...
I still can't believe that you put Remus vs. Severus! Anyway, you're skilled -- in the art of dialogue! ;D
Great work so far... I can't wait to see how this all ended (and who ever knew that Remus did it? -- Well, I thought that what he did was kind of immature, but Remus - the guy who beholds the voice of reason; well, not in DH, but still -?)
Great twist of events... now let's see what goes on...
P/s: Yes, you've earned yourself another 10/10! Report Review
^_^ Great job! 10/10! (I luv your Sev!!!)
P/s: I'm smiling so much now that my cheeks hurt... lol! Report Review
"Nothing is impossible with magic." My favorite line! ^_^ Oh well, I have to read on. 10/10!
Oh, and thank you for saving Severus! *hugs Snapegirl* It's awesome, honestly. And they do need him (he's been helping out ever since the beginning...!)!! Kudos, dudette, kudos for that and more!
~Meli♥Author's Response: I would never kill Sev! Never!
I love him too much! And I've posted a new Christmas fic! Report Review
OMG! You definitely wrote this way before I did. *hehe* Severus was going to be tortured brutally in "The Illusionist" and Colette would have to restore him to health. But we've different plots, so you're good. By the way, will you ever come back to read Behind the Sketches or any of the others? *pouts*
Oh, and will Severus be fine in the next chapter? When's the fighting going to start? Anyway, sorry that I haven't been reading, but I've been reading Sirius/OC in other sites. *smiles inoccently* Anyway 10/10! (And I've to finish this fic, don't I?)
~Meli♥Author's Response: very soon, there will be a big battle and several things will happen, but I don't want to ruin it for you.
Yes, I'll read your other fics soon as I've got a minute to breathe, it's been insane at work and at home! Report Review
Dear Lordy; who knew that Camilla and Severus would hate each other so? When will they actually be together nicely for once? (I'm a Snape fan, so no joke there ;]) And about Remus... um... does she love him? *pouts*
Change Severus for once and let him live happily; or separate him from Camilla, so that she can be "happy" with Remus. The decision is yours!!! Anyway 10/10 on this chapter, dudette!
Other than that, girl, I'm waiting for an update!!! ;D
~Meli♥Author's Response: Thanks! I can't really say too much without giving it all away, but I will say that I am definitely a Snape fan too. ;)
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Nice. This is starting to sound like... there's going to be a wedding! Whoop! Can't wait to get there! A 10 is well deserved, dudette! You've done a great job as well. :D
P/s: *continues to read*Author's Response: You have that right. Eventually there might be...if they all survive the war coming up! Thanks as always for reviewing! Report Review
Yay!!! ^_^ Drake & Arista are finally together!
P/s: a 10 well earned here; even though there's loads to read now... *continues to read with a grin plastered to her face*Author's Response: yes, I tried to make their relationship bloom and start to grow here. I think they make a perfect couple. Report Review
Yay! ^_^ 10/10!
P/s: As always, I'm reading on! Oh, and you're an awesome writer, dudette, that you are. ;DAuthor's Response: I really liked writing this chapter, it was very neat to go into Sev's past. Report Review
Oh snap! Oh well, he had to tell her sooner or later... Dang... I forgot about his Double-Spy role because you're always around Arista! *chuckles* I'll read on later, of course. ;]
P/s: You've gotten yourself a 10/10!Author's Response: yes, and there was always stuff he never told her because he was ashamed. Thanks for your awesome reviews. Report Review
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