This was also excellent. I simply adore the idea of their unusual phobias being the last force that brought Lily and James together. It seems oddly fitting.
This was also very funny, particularly the bit about the Cornish pixies and the tree. I couldn't stop giggling XD
Great work!! 10/10Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. And thank you for pointing out the tree/rock bit - that was my favourite bit to write :)
Thanks again! Report Review
Hahahaha!! This was absolutely lovely. You've characterized Lily and the Marauders to a tee - James especially. I cracked up several times during the read and had to make several lame excuses to my roommate as to why.
This was just such a great, light piece to read. It was so, so refreshing. I'm off to read the sequel! :D
10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much! I always enjoy writing James' character - I've been told I'm good at it which might tell you something about me :P
I'm so glad you liked the story and I hope you enjoy the sequel! Report Review
Tayler is so gross and Jack is so cute! I'm so intrigued to see how this plot will unfold. The questions are already clustering in my brain ^_^ Report Review
MOLLY! WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG TO READ THIS?!?!
Gah. This is actually brilliant. It's so original and refreshing, I'm so excited to see where this goes.
DaniAuthor's Response: I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BECAUSE YOU HAVE MUCH BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN READ MEDIOCRE STORIES WRITTEN BY YOURS TRULY?
You flatter me unnecessarily. It's hardly original, but I'm glad you like it! ILY Report Review
I apologize a million times for the delay, Drue!!!
This was a lovely chapter, as always. You're writing is beautiful and captivating, and this plot is just so unique. I adore it. You obviously have a clear direction planned and know exactly what you want from this story and it definitely shows. Kudos on that.
I LOVE Harry and Ginny. You've characterized them wonderfully here and I definitely swooned reading about them. Lovely work. Also, I like that Petunia is actually kind to Lily. It's definitely refreshing!
Only piece of concrit is that Sirius and Lily's relationship, especially in the dialogue in the beginning, seems a bit awkward and forced. Like it's excellent writing, it just doesn't seem to fit I guess? And I was thrown a little when Lily called herself a slut, I don't imagine her using such vulgarities. I don't know, maybe it's a good thing they are so different from the books because of the nature of this story, it's basically an alternative ending so they maybe should have alternative personalities? Haha I apologize for my rambling!
Awesome job. Report Review
MOLLYMOLLYMOLLYMOLLYMOLLY! You are the epitome of awesomeness, I swear it. You are just an amazing author and I am so jealous of your writing skills. Like you don't even know. Every flows so well and everything is so original and non-repetitive and GAH. Lovely. Just fabulous.
I really like the whole "case of the Mondays" thing. It was cute and original and I just adore the whole concept. And Teddy. I adore Teddy.
The Victorie scene struck me as being particularly well written (which is saying a lot saying as the whole thing is utterly fantastic). I was completely engrossed and read on hungrily. I couldn't believe the word count when I saw it. No fic every keeps my attention for that long without my mind wandering. So kudos for that.
I cannot wait for an update. A trilliom million zillion kabillion/10 (No, I don't care that it doesn't make sense ^_^)
DaniAuthor's Response: Pshaw! There is no need to be jealous of me, my dear, for you are beyond amazing. You speak of how this is so original, but you fail to realise just how amazing original your stories are. No one writes young Bellatrix - and certainly not like you do!
Haha, I thought it was quite funny too. I love Teddy. He's just so squishable, I can hardly handle it. It's sad that I love my own creations - well, partially my own. He wouldn't exist without JKR and I am eternally grateful!
Ack, that was the scene I was the most nervous about. I was worried that it was going to be too overdramatic and cliched, so it's reassuring to hear that it was enjoyable!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND REVIEWING. I LOVE YOU LOT! Report Review
MOLLY. Is it possible for you to be any more amazing? Naw. Thought not XD This was absolutely marvelous, I don't know how you do it. You make everything your own with a - dare I say it? - electric twist of your own. Hahaha. I'll stop the stupid jokes now, I swear.
Like I told you (or yelled via gushing, I suppose would be more appropriate) Teddy is absolutely GORGEOUS here, in every sense of the word. Gorgeous characterization, gorgeous dialogue, gorgeous bum (of course), gorgeous everything. Seriously. He is my pocket boy and I WILL NOT SHARE (except perhaps with Jane as I know how she loves Teddy XD).
I'm going to be honest and say that I've never read anything about Roxanne (my Next Gen experience is very limited) but I adore the character you've created for her and I know you, so I know she's original. She's flawed and imperfect - constant blushing? Sounds like me - and I love the distinctions you threw in there to separate her from her parents. Even being a Weasley, she can't be little miss perfect!
AND BERT! BAHAHAHA! OMG! I LOVE HIM, IN CASE THE ABUNDANCE OF CAPS DIDN'T TIP YOU OFF! I look forward to seeing more of his wit!
I'm excited to see more of this Ted/Roxanne ship. Hurry and update, my dear!!!
DaniAuthor's Response: UM, I'M THINKING OF THREE WORDS. CARE TO GUESS WHAT THEY ARE? POT, KETTLE, AND BLACK. DO THEY RING ANY BELLS? 'cause they should. And the joke wasn't THAT bad. At least, I didn't think it was. I laughed, lol.
Ah, Teddy. I've written him before, but I've never made him one of the main characters, so this should be interesting. And this Teddy is very different from the other versions of Teddy that I've written thus far, so hopefully everyone will like him for reasons other than his tight bum, lol. And yes, I think it would be wise to share with Jane; she wouldn't appreciate getting left out of the equation. XD
That's exactly why I wanted to write something with her as the main character. You always see fics about Rose and Scorpius and James and Albus and now even Percy's daughters, but there are hardly any written about George's kids, so I thought it was time to change that. Aw, I'm glad you like her! I was fearful that the blushing might be a little much.
BERT, BERT BERT. I love him already, yet I'm not entirely sure why. He's kinda grungy, but not in the hot sort of way. In the dirty sort of way, lol. Oh well, there may be hope for Bert yet.
I'll update when I can, my love! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. ILY!
Molly Report Review
Aw, adorable! I love this scene in Titanic you translated it really well here :) I'm rooting for them! Report Review
Aw, I adore Xeno here! I hope everything works out for him ^_^ This whole scene was rather amusing and well-written.
Oh, and I absolutely loved the bit where Xeno described Alarya, especially the ears like small shells portion. So very, very like a Lovegood! Report Review
Ah, Fabian, he can get be so stubborn and hot-headed. Yet I love him completely ^_^ His comment on Sirius and Faye's relationship was very realistic - I can definitely see him coming to that conclusion, especially in his jealously.
The scene at the end was really cute (until the argument, that is, but again, that was perfect... they're both just too stubborn for their own good and I can't imagine the scene ending any other way at this point, until they develop their relationship a bit more).
Good job! Report Review
Hahaha oh Lily XD I like the character you've created for her - she's still the bookish, fiery girl we know from the books but you've added an element of, well, Marauder in her with all the scheming she does with Sirius. I absolutely adore her.
This whole chapter was really interesting. I like how you rely more on dialogue to convey the setting, plot, feeling, etc. It makes for a really good read and I don't get frustrated with endless description.
Eavesdropping? Hahaha. Love it.
This is just such a great story. The dynamics within the Marauders, Lily and Faye, Lily and Sirius, Faye and Fabian... and everyone, really, is just brilliant. Keep it up! Report Review
Interesting chapter! It created a lot of intrigue for the coming chapters.
I can really see the progress of your writing through these chapters. It's definitely progressed a lot and I really enjoy reading it. Great work! Report Review
There was some good action in this chapter! Fabian protecting Faye was so cute :) Their combined stubbornness infuriates me but in the best way possible - I love them!
And including that quote in the end was a nice touch! Report Review
Again, I love Sirius. He's absolutely hilarious; you've got him spot on! And Faye's quick temper is humorous as well. I really enjoyed the lighter aspects of this chapter :) Report Review
So sorry I disappeared for a while there :) But I'm back!
Hahahaha Sirius! He cracks me up XD I like how you balanced the seriousness of the situation with his light cracks without taking away from the emotional aspect of the scene. And how Dumbledore always knows what's going on at Hogwarts. Lovely.
Good work!Author's Response: Wow, it's been a while since you last reviewed my stuff. I actually finished Part I, and now I have Part II WIP.
Hi there, sorry it took a while to get to this!
This was an interesting take on the whole Eileen/Tobias relationship. From my perspective, I never pictured it as a loving partnership so it was intrigin to read someone else's view of it!
I feel like a few spots were a little abrupt - particularly the scene where Snape says: “Hold on, we are using magic.” I had to re-read that portion to get the fact that Snape didn't want to walk/run back the Muggle way. Also, I feel Tobias was too... harsh I suppose is the word when he tells Snape “Severus, your mother is about to die. She wants you.” as well as “You have killed her, now say goodbye. Go now!” Perhaps harsh is too inaccurate of a word, because I do believe he'd be angry and bitter toward Snape, but I feel like because he loved Eileen so much he'd treat her dying with more delicacy... and perhaps more emotion?
You really pegged Snape - he was characterized quite well here and I definitly felt he was in canon. Especially with the tidbit about motives in the end - I absolutely adored that line, by the way!
The flow of this was really nice to read, the little details definitely made it (like the bit about the Nile, it was a nice touch that gave more insight into Eileen as a character). I've never read anything about this pair so it was a nice start for me, you've got me intrigued :)
I quite like your writing style. There's something about it that manages to combine complexity and simplicity. It made for a lovely read. Good work!Author's Response: Hello! Don't worry about the wait, I'm quite a patient person!
I'm quite glad that I intrigued you! That's what a writer does, yes?
I understand your perspective in that situation. You see, because this was a Stream of Consciousness fiction, I wrote randomly. The randomness is partially the reason for the abruptness here and there.
Gosh, Snape was such a hard character to write! It practically killed my brain cells! To know that I kept him in canon warms my heart. Thank you!
Thank you so much for the awesome review! I appreciate it and your words have given me such joy. Thank you! Report Review
Another excellent chapter :) I'm actually borderline obsessed with this (and that is my less creepy way of saying I'm fully obsessed XD) I can't wait to see where this goes!
Scorpius is looking pretty suspicious. Hmm. I wonder where that's going to go! As well as his relationship with Rose.
Great work. 10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review both chapters (and making me laugh). And yeah, he is, isn't he? Muahahha. We'll just see what happens...
Thanks again! Report Review
Okay, this is seriously amazing. I'm kind of in love with your writing. It's just... gah. Perfection. I can read it without getting bored in endless descriptions or pointless phrases. Lovelovelovelove.
That said, I also really, really love your Albus. Like, insane amounts. He seems like such a sweetie.
And I love the whole 'Greenhouse 6' concept and I'm excited to see where this goes!
I love the originality of this, I love Sarah's quirkiness, I love that even though Rose is Hermione's daughter she sucks at Potion and I love that Rose gets all flustered when Sarah brings up Scorpius (who I'm excited to see more of!).
Basically, if you haven't already got it, I just love this fic.
I'm pumped to read the next chapter! Though it will have to wait until after class. Evil thing.Author's Response: you're back??? squee!
Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad that you like the story thus far, and the characters and everything. You've basically made me quite excited :P. Updates should be out before too long Report Review
"To her, he was like the explosions that take place in the night sky, the supernovas she never had the luck to witness. Sometimes she could see the moon reflect in his eyes with strange glow. He was the fascination she longed for, the fascination almost equal to her stars. In some far-fetched way, he reminded her of stars. Falling into him was like falling headfirst into the sky. Explanations weren’t needed. This was the magical world of both witchcraft and human emotions." >> I love that.
And that ending. Perfection. It was beautiful and heart-wrenching. I definitely felt a connection with both Remus and Narcissa. I pitied her for her pride and he for his pain. And that ending? Marvelous. I love how he came to stand there beside her, without saying a word. It was just so perfect I can't even describe :)
The dynamic you established between Remus and Narcissa was something I really enjoyed. They were still totally in canon - Narcissa with her sneering pride and hatred of impure blood, and Remus with his quiet, keen intelligence and open heart - yet you made their relationship seem entirely plausible.
I have to say, that when I first saw the length of this it nearly deterred me as I generally stick to reading chapters around 3000 words, but I'm so, so glad I did read this. Excellent work. I don't know what else to say :)
10/10Author's Response: Dani! *crashtackle* Thank you SO much. I was so worried about the ending. I was finishing this off two hours before the deadline and I really wanted to submit it! (actually, in the end they extended the deadline -facepalm-), so I'm so happy you liked it so much. I wanted it to be abrupt and not sort of unfulfilled, since that's the way some things happen in life.
I have to admit I wanted to rip my heair out in places while writing this, but then I also enjoyed writing the little moments between Remus and Narcissa. I guess it's what you get when you're dealing with an unlikely pair. There's just so many ways one can go and it's been a wonderful experience, really. I was also worried whether it would be believable, so thank you thank you for saying it was actually plausible.
Haha, I never planned this to be so long, but this seems to happen to me all the time. I start writing something, and then it just spins out of control. Like this one. I'm happy you didn't give up on it because of the length.
Thanks again, this review made me so happy, you have no idea. Love ya!
xoxo Liz Report Review
This was absolutely lovely :) I really like how you showed Andromeda actually struggle in her decision to leave her family. It was very human and very real - I wouldn't expect her to up and leave her family with no emotion because, in the end, they are her family and she does have a connection with them.
The end was really effective. I liked the succession of short, simple sentences to emphasis the idea you've laced through the whole fic - that in order to change something, you have to effect it yourself.
Even though we only saw Ted for a short time, I really enjoyed his character. I had a very real image of him in my mind.
And Andromeda was, of course, lovely. Very consistent and compelling, I really felt for her. Her mother was terrifying - I loved it :P You hit the nail on the head with her, she was a Black through and through.
I really, really enjoyed reading this. I'm a huge fan of the Blacks so this was a great read for me ^_^
10/10Author's Response: I always thought Andromeda loved her family, despite all their...evilry. At least in the beginning. Even with Sirius one can see a certain sadness when he speaks about being disowned and burned off the family tree. Although it's always ruled out by his anger and hate for them. Still, it's family. I wanted to portray the conflict in Andromeda when she decided to leave. Poor girl tried to somehow reason with her parents.
Aw, I'm so happy you liked Ted. I'm always thinking, time to time, how could I add more of him to the end, since his presence seems so...pointless and all, but this reassured me that maybe I don't have to and it's alright as it is - simple.
Thank you again. I'm just thrilled by both your reviews I feel like bouncing all day. ^_^ Report Review
This was so utterly perfect and heart-breaking. I don't know how else to describe it. It left me speechless. That last part killed me (in the very best way possible). I debated whether I should read this or not, thinking I didn't want any spoilers, but I'm so happy I did. If anything, this makes me more excited to read the rest of This Longing, as morbid as that sounds.
I really liked the format you have here. So very, very effective.
Excellent work, as always :) A trillion/10Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much, Dani! In a horrible way, I'm glad that the ending was so powerful - when I first came up with how I wanted it to go, I cried, it was that painful. Having them miss each other by moments reflects their entire relationship - all hits and misses, never consistent.
I tried not to give too much away for TL, leaving me some holes to fill in later on - I'm awful for changing my mind. :P Report Review
Huh, I'm stumped as to what's going on with Crane! Which makes me all the more excited for the next chapter :)
Even though nothing monumental happened in this chapter, I really liked it for all the little things like Lupin and Freddy's dialogue as well as the curious incident in the end with Crane. It moved very quickly for me - usually I stop around halfway through chapters when reading ff - and I didn't take my eyes of your words for a moment!
Keep up the excellent work!Author's Response: Hiya episkey!
Thanks so much for taking the time to review! I was rather nervous about this chapter. It was slow and long-winded. I thought my readers would give up on me. ^_^
I'm so glad you picked up on Crane's odd behavior. It's very, very significant to the story. ;)
Thanks again for the awesome review! I hope you have a great weekend!
celticbard Report Review
I had no idea this was up, and when I came across it already posted with not just one but two chapters, I squeed.
This as an excellent chapter that more than lived up to my expectations! The flow is spot on and your writing is as beautiful as always. You've obviously done your research and it shows in your writing - at no point was I confused during my read.
The mini-cliffhanger ended was a good way to keep the reader hooked, though I do have my suspicions as to who it may be :D
Excellent work!Author's Response: Hi episkey!
Yay! I'm so very thrilled to hear that you enjoyed this first chapter. You know me, I'm terrible at writing first chapters. They just never seem to come out right. ;)
Thank you so very much for taking the time to leave a review. As always, your feedback was absolutely wonderful. I really do appreciate your continued support! ^_^
Chapter three should be posted sometime tomorrow, if you're interested. Thanks again and take care!
Lee Anne Report Review
Another lovely chapter.
You have such a wonderful flow here, I'm really envious. There are no boring or tedious parts, and there's this overarching humor that adds a nice element to the story.
Hugo's voice is realistic and flawed and I'm just really enjoying his character. I also love how Rose isn't the golden child for once and that Ron and Hermione seem to favour Hugo. It's really quite refreshing.
Another 10/10, of course :)Author's Response: Why thank you, my darling. I'm glad you enjoy it. I love my Hugo. *squishes* He's mah baby! And I like Rose as well. I hate seeing her as an exact replica of Hermione; I always imagined her to be a free, independent spirit. A bit like Ginny in some ways, but completely her own. If that makes sense.
ILY! Report Review
So I'm ashamed to say that I only just read the summary for this fic while lurking your page, and I was immediately sucked in. So I decided to check it out and started reading, and now I'm hooked. This is such an original concept and your writing is so lovely that I couldn't help it.
I'm excited to read on!! :) 10/10Author's Response: Pfft, don't worry about it. The important thing is that you're reviewing now and I APPRECIATE IT IMMENSELY. Love you, darling. Report Review
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