Hi, nice story so far...but I wanted to point out that butterbeer isn't alcohol, so you might want to change the drink to something that can actually get her a bit tipsy. Only house elves get drunk on butterbeer. :)Author's Response: I know! I know! Somebody already pointed that out, and I feel so ridiculous! I'm going to edit that soon, but thank you! Ha ha.
Thanks for the review! I always appreciate honesty :) Report Review
Hi Sugar. You're wonderful, as is your story and this chapter. Your writing is flawless and the H/G relationship so engaging. Please don't let nasty reviews from rude readers keep you from finishing the story you have worked so hard on. I for one, know exactly how much time and effort you put into each chapter, and as a horribly slow updater myself, I know just how hard it is to get a chapter as large as yours published. Seems like intelligent people would realize that harassing you for an update does nothing but make you not want to write. Hopefully anyone who has ever been thoughtless and inappropriate while pushing for updates will stop spamming you. Spamming, by the way, is more than one review per chapter. Much love, Princess :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lift, Princess! *hugs* You've been with me through it all and I really appreciate your support, understanding and friendship.
I'm definitely going to see this through to the end. There was a time, as you know, when I wasn't sure that I would. Thanks for hanging in there with me. I feel so fortunate to have a great friend, like you, along for the ride we me. :-) Love, Sugar Report Review
Wow, what a creepy young Tom Riddle! I really liked this story. I can't say that I've actually ever read a story about him when he was young...very intriguing. Poor Dolly, probably scarred for life about that song though, lol. And I love your banner, too. It fits the tone of the story perfectly. Very nice job on this. :)Author's Response: Wow - let me just say first that I recently started reading one of your Harry/Ginny stories (a pairing I normally do not like) and have so far, really enjoyed it. That's quite a feat considering that I really do not normally enjoy reading that pairing.
So, lol, I did a bit of a fangirl squee when I saw you reviewing one of mine.
I agree - poor Dolly.. I wasn't very nice to her in this story *ducks head in shame* I imagine the song did scar her lol :P
Oh gosh I think I love the banner more than I ever liked the story. Silv3r_ic3 made it and the first time I saw it my jaw dropped open. She's so amazing. I totally love her :)
Thank you again for the lovely review!!
Hannah Report Review
Aw, I like this one! I saw this challenge on the forum, but hadn't had a chance to start reading entries for it yet. I like how you used the Rose/Scorpius pairing...it gave you a lot of freedom to develop your own personalities for them. I like how you did both of them. I can see echoes of Draco in Scorpius for sure. The moment you came up for, for the kissing was great...who doesn't melt for romance in the rain? :-DAuthor's Response: *squee* Another review from you :D
Anyway, thank you dear! When I saw the challenge I immediately decided to sign up. I didn't want to use the classic super romantic type of story though because I assumed a lot of people would do that - hence came out my little (hopefully) humorous one-shot. I really like writing Scorpius and Rose because, like you said, there's a lot of freedom in developing their personalities. I'm generally very bad at writing in character people so this was quite a bit easier for me.
Thank you again dear!! I really loved both your reviews :)
This story is so funny! I love your use of so many cliches and laughed a lot at the Rome and Juliet. I think this is a story that gets funnier with time --- as a reader encounters more and more fanfics that do many of the things you show here. It is frightening how many stories I can think of that have this set up, or incorporate parts. What makes it so great is how well it's written...if that makes sense, lol. You do a great job with the flow and pov, incorporating the things that drive us all crazy but without telling us about them as if we're dumb. We recognize in the story what we see over and over in others...but they're presented in an amusing way that displays their ridiculousness. My favorite part was them getting their headboy/girl suite for no reason... Nice. :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! I suppose that was more or less exactly my intent with this story, to (not so) gently mock the cliches that make absolutely no sense. xD Of course, some cliches are cliche for a reason, because they're good ideas, but you can only read a star-crossed love story so many times before it becomes...tiring. =) Report Review
Ha! This story is really cute! I really love how Malfoy ended up with a red-headed child...that just makes me laugh. Your internal Scorpius was very amusing and the banter between the sibling very believable. Hopefully he'll be able to take back some control from the three females in his life...but I doubt he manages it, lol. One thing that did stick out to me a bit was the couple of uses of the F-word (to keep this review 12+). Generally, I don't mind the word in stories...so I'm not anti-cussing or anything, but for some reason in the context of this story, the way it's light and funny and he seems kind of young and clueless, the F-word just kind of came out of nowhere for me when I was reading it. It might just be preference, but I thought I'd point it out as something that pulled me out of the moment as I read. :)
Also, you had Rose say "Sure, Scorpius, come on.” --- but he didn't ask her anything. All he said was "Hey Rose!". I'm thinking this is perhaps an edit that misplaced the rest of his line or something. :)
But anyway, humor is hard to get right and this story made me chuckle aloud, so nice job. :) Thanks for sharing.Author's Response: ah right, yeah - i'll go fix that last one now! as for the swearing, yeah, i know what you mean and i think i included that because it was so suprising for him to say...so yeah :)
thanks for the review - i'm glad the story made you laugh! Report Review
Review! Ta-da! Wonderful chapter as always, Sugar! I love the elopement idea. It works well with the situation and what you're trying to do, and who can complain about your lovely H/G moments of happiness? They're so cute. I love how you incorporated Dobby (so helpful and yet sooo not, lol) and Moody (hilarious) into the wedding. And Ron and Hermione...it just didn't seem right to not have them there. Hopefully the rest of the Weasleys (*cough*Molly*cough) won't be to upset about being left out, lol.
I love how you incorporated Ginny into Harry's thoughts...her interjections make me laugh...she's such a girl, interrupting and unable to truly leave him alone as he tries to plan, lol.
And as always your amazing ability to write Snape scenes shine though. I don't know what it is about him but his scenes just seem to flow out of you perfectly, lol. the details are always so vivid and the tone right on. It's only too bad Dumbledore didn't let him do what he wanted to do...now they're all working different angles...hopefully that works out. :)
I can't wait for the next chapter...for reasons I can't express here without spoiling everyone...but yes...I can't wait to see the next chapter. :-DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much, Princess! I really appreciate that you took the time to post your thoughts. Your insights and feedback mean a lot to me.
Thank you again for all your support. I'm very lucky to have a great friend to travel this writing journey with me. I hope you'll enjoy the remainder of the story as it winds down and comes to an end. *hugs* Sugar Report Review
HA! Goodness, I love this! It's so cute. I love your internal Scorpius, he is realistic and funny. Your descriptions in this were really clear too. I absolutely visualized what was happening when he was first picked up and carried. And when she threw him at the wall...priceless. Very cute concept and really well done. Now all you need is a companion for when their older...when her prediction comes true! ;-) Report Review
Nice AU one-shot. I think you did a nice job with your Cho characterization, given the situation. I think that her weepy canon ways supports her tears here, lol. Poor Cho, she just can't seem to catch a break. :P
I like the song choice too, it relates to the context and the lyrics can almost work as her internal thoughts, which is nice. :)
The one thing that threw me a bit, was Harry smirking at her. It seemed mean and made me go...wait...what? Why is he doing that? Because your story is so short and so close to canon in many ways...Harry comes across as odd and OOC for me. It left me wondering why you chose to have him smirk at her, instead of giving him a more canon reaction (possibly awkward or embarrassed, especially since you say later that they'd dated for a year).
Does this story accompany another story where we see more of their AU personalities? I'm not saying that a smirking Harry can't work...it just seems off here because we're seeing such a small moment. If this is strictly a one-shot and doesn't relate to a larger story, you might consider altering Harry's reaction to seeing her, or adding in a bit more of the backstory so that the reader has a better grasp of who this Harry is, within the context of this story.
Hopefully that made sense... :) Overall, nice use of the songfic set up. They doesn't usually flow for me, but you integrated the lyrics really well. :) Report Review
I figured I should stop being an awful fan and catch up on my reviews for your posted chapters...before moving on to catch up on my own responses, lol...so here I am! I love this chapter, especiiiaaly the ending. ;-) It's like you planned it that way! I think your Corner scene really ended up working well...it's such a complicated series to go in and out of his mind from one memory to the next, andI think you handled it really well. As I read it again everything flows together seamlessly and really gives the reader and insight on what was going on. Very clever. And of course, what can I say about your Snape scenes, except that they're always spot on and come out practically ready to post. It's almost weird...but I'm not complaining b/c they're great, lol.
The Harry/Ginny moments are also great of course...but we already knew that about your story. It's one of the things that drew us all in from the beginning. I love protective Harry and how he's willing to do whatever she needs him to do to help her move on. And I sure hope she says yes to his elopement proposal!! I guess I'll just have to wait and see. :-D
Take as much time as you need on the next chapter, I know ii will be brilliant as always! And just smile if anyone complains about the wait...b/c really...it's just a sign that your story has them hooked. ;)Author's Response: Wow! What a wonderful review, Princess! Thank you for your support, friendship and patience. I appreciate all 3 so much. :-)
The ending was a bit of a fluke, but as luck would haveit, it all worked out in the end I think. :-)
I really can't thank you enough for reading for me and offering me your feedback. Thanks for everything you do! Talk to you soon! ~Sugar~ Report Review
Another great chapter, Sugar! I love the Harry/Ginny dream sequence. You always use their internal bond so well, and this time is no exception...it was a nice idea to have Harry take her back to the Christmas moment in order to help her, and I especially liked your description when you had the hilltop morph into the room, very nice. And of course your Snape writing is always something to be envied, lol...if only all of the scenes came as easily as those devious ones seem to, right? :-P And of course poor Corner...doomed or not doomed, what will Snape do? and what with DD uncover? All good questions leading into the next chapter. Congrats on another great chapter. :)Author's Response: Thanks, Princess! :-) *hugs* Thank you for your support and insights. You have helped me so much! Thanks for reading...again and again for me. :-) Report Review
Ok...here I am for part two! It's always amazing how well you write the evil scenes, lol...not sure what that says *wink* but seriously they're always right on. Voldemort especially shines in this one I think...although I wouldn't have liked to be Snape. Speaking of Snape, I'm interested to see what, if anything, Voldemort asked him to do regarding Corner...and how he walks the line of being good and bad in the next chapter. And oh the Weasleys, as determined to protect their own as ever...and the boys entrance a great light moment within a serious situation. I thought your portrayal of Bill was particularly "aww" worthy and fits perfectly with the "favorite older brother" role you've created for him in this story. My favorite part, I think, is the end though. Ginny's reaction to seeing Corner is so real and the visual of when she faints very effective. Even though she "knows" it was Voldemort who attacked her, I doubt she'll be able to look at Corner the same way again for a long time. Congrats on another great chapter with record setting length! lol... I think you did a great job with it, despite the disappointing writing/planning adjustment you went through. *hugs* " "Author's Response: You are so sweet to review both segments, especially since you'd already read them for me...more than once!! :) *I owe you another Starbucks!* ;)
I'm glad you felt Voldemort's evil shines through in this one. You know, Snape is an unsung hero in my eyes. I know he's easy to hate, but I hope that my story will allow him to be seen in a different light.
The Weasley moments were complicated to write, but I'm happy that you feel I pulled them off...so many voices, so little time...lol
Thank you for your compliments on the ending. I'm glad that the visual of her experience came through for you. Ginny will have a lot of healing to do as she comes to terms with her experience.
lol...the length!! Can you believe my original draft was only 11,500 words?! Why do I feel the need to expand everything in revision??? I must try to rein that it a bit on the next installment!
Thanks again for your support, Princess. You're the only one who really understands how hard that was for me. I really appreciate you! *hugs* " " Report Review
Ohh! The Truth Will Out! Amazing title! I know where it's from...but since you already know that I know where it's from I won't say it here and ruin the google fun for the rest, lol. But anyway...review time...*sigh* who doesn't love out of control protective alpha-male Harry? lol...it is so wrong for me to want him to just finish Corner off, but when reading it's just really hard not to be right there with him in his anger. Thank goodness he has Ginny there to help him. That pesky Voldemort...he really needs to die a slow horrible death for what he's put them through in your story, lol..and H/G need to have a really long fluffy epilogue. :-P I would continue, but the chapter is split in half, so I have to talk about the rest in the other review... Great job as always!Author's Response: LOL... ;) You, my friend, are a literary wonder! How did you ever guess the title's origin so quickly??? Oh that's right, now I remember... lol
Well, what can I say Princess. Thank you for your wonderful comments and support.
I know you were able to watch the chapter emerge as I worked, from Harry's out of control rescue to Voldemort's twisted game. I'm so glad that in the end you enjoyed the finished product.
I really appreciate your feedback and willingness to read for me...again and again. :)
I'll break there for now and continue my response in part 2. More to come. :) Sugar
Aw, it's like...a prequel to Passion and Pain...if only they knew what would happen next, lol. I like your characterization in this one. It's a different Remus than you wrote in Passion, and understandably so...but at the same time, the threads that JK created, with him trying not to be with her are still there. I like this story b/c you can use it both as a missing moment, or as an AU, depending on how you look at it...if that makes any sense at all, lol. Again, very well written and totally engaging. Great job! :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! YOu totally get it! Report Review
Ooohh, I love this one too! i don't typically look for Remus/Tonks stories but this one just doesn't let you stop reading does it? Poor Remus! Poor Tonks! Another heartbreaking moment for them, and a nice missing moment...although how Tonks deals with that sort of attitude from him is amazing, lol. I mean, you make it seem justified from his end but at the same time you just think...don't be stupid remus! lol. Darn them and their good intentions. :-P Again, great story, I really enjoyed reading. :)Author's Response: You are too sweet, you know that? My life was just wrecked when they died. I can't even tell you how upset I was. But JKR is wrong, they're just fine, I KNOW it! Report Review
Aw, I love this one too! Young Harry and Ginny are so cute! I loved how you made Ginny a bit wise for her years, and her reaction to Harry when she saw his scar was priceless and totally in character with how I would picture her at that age. You have great ideas...that combined with your excellent writing makes for very entertaining stories. You really have a knack for taking a seemingly insignificant moment and relating it back to a larger concept or theme. Very nice. I'm really happy that I stumbled upon you this evening. :)Author's Response: They are totally sweet. Young Ginny is a firecracker, kinda like my own daughter I think... wise beyond her years and yet also SUCH an imp! I am so happy you enjoyed it. Report Review
Wow. I loved this story so much. I never got around to reading the winning writer's duel story...and shame on me for that! lol. I actually just listened to it on the podcast and am truly impressed. Your style is so clear and fluid...really just beautiful. It drew me and and held my attention throughout and I can't see how you could possibly have written it without bawling! It's such a heartbreaking moment, and you handled it wonderfully. So, I sent two prayers out across the sky that night. One for my Harry, that he would find the peace he needed to begin his journey, and one for my Tonks, that she would find peace at the end of hers. -- my absolute favorite line...one that I very much wish I'd have written. ;) All around, this is just a great story and I'm not at all surprised that it won the competition. Congrats on a great story. :) And on a random note, you should get a banner to go with this...Author's Response: I will work on a banner I think. Thank you so much for the suggestion. That Phrase you quoted was also one of my favourites, inspired by a poem I read somewhere that I simply cannot remember right now. When my novel is published (ha ha I wish) I will send you a free copy because you are too kind and supportive! Report Review
Hey Sugar! Well, it's finally up and looks like it's a hit! lol. And you were so worried... *shakes head*
The mystery wizard is finally revealed and I have to say I thought you did it brilliantly. You have such a knack for the blind pov, both here and back during his original ritual. He still creeps me out, even after so many reads, especially at the end. Your descriptions are always so clear, it's only too easy to picture his shrine and destruction of the trophy room.
And of course I'm a sucker for your Harry/Ginny interaction. I've always loved their bond and the way it allows them to communicate and understand what the other is feeling in a way that isn't always possible under normal circumstances. Their whole relationship is perfectly in character and always a pleasure to read.
My favorite part of the chapter is still the end, despite how disturbing it is to read. You can just feel the desperation of Ginny and I'm not gonna lie...I totally tear up when I picture Harry struggling so hard and knowing he's not going to make it. *sigh* lol...that's drama.
Anyway, I'll stop rambling since I know you already have a ton of reviews to respond to. ;-) I always learn so much from you as I watch you edit and edit and edit until you get it exactly the way you want. Great job as always! And no worries about the next chapter, I know you'll end up with another stunning finished product with moments you want to portray, even if there are certain people missing along the way to help. *hugs* I'm just excited for you to start so that I can start reading it, lol. :D " "Author's Response: LOL...Hey Princess! I was so excited to see you reviewed!! :) YEAH!! *hugs*
Okay, now I know you've read it again and again...some parts more than others, ;) and I really appreciate it.This chapter played an important part in my plot arc development. I'm so glad you felt I pulled it all off effectively, bringing everything together.
I appreciate your compliments on the blind PoV scenes. You know, I've found through writing this story that I really enjoy writing those types of scenes...not sure what it says about me... ;) but it's fun when I've completed one of those and even I'm creeped out by the result. lol
I'm so glad you're enjoying the characterizations and development of Harry and Ginny's bond. That element of their relationship evolved in this installment in some ways. I hope that you'll continue to like where I take them from here.
The ending of this one is intense and after weeks and weeks of editing...I was still nervous when I posted. ;P Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with anything I write. Obsessing over minute details and word choices...it's what I do, right? :-) (Hence the revision project.) It's a sickness really...lol...but, in my defense, getting all of those points of view to merge properly while maintaining smooth transitions in the piece was a real challenge. ;) Thanks for letting me ramble on and on and on while I worked out the details in my mind.
As you know, I've begun the opening scene of chapter 35. I look forward to your continued support while I write this installment and throughout the next several chapters. Thanks so much for your friendship and feedback. I appreciate them both!! " " ~Sugar~ Report Review
Ah, how can I not have left a review for the amazing experience that was chapter four?? lol. I must have been furiously reading to get to the end the first time. Isn't it weird to think about how long ago I would have originally read this? I hadn't even forced my friendship (and my banners) on you yet! lol. But this edited version turned out lovely my dear, and I'm so glad that it didn't scar you from editing forever. ;) As much as I enjoyed the intensity of the original kissing moment, I think the rewrite was the right choice for this one. Everyone seems much more in line with the characterizations you've developed. And my favorite part is still the moment when Harry makes the glass in the windows break...very cool intense moment and I picture it perfectly. Great job! I love this chapter even more, now that I know we all survived it...lol. :-P " "Author's Response: LOL!! Yes, we did survive didn't we? It was touch and go for a bit, but you really helped me through with this one! *hugs* I guess it would've been a long time ago that you'd read the original. I'm so glad you liked the way the revised version turned out in the end. Thanks so much for all your support and advice on this one...even when I was dragging my feet about it. :) " " Report Review
Hello! I can't tell you how much I love this story. I figure it shouldn't surprise me that your writing can so easily make me cry, since it's already caused me to experience so many emotions through unlocked and hope. I love how you tie the story of Tonks and Remus into the moment with Teddy and his son, it really brings it full circle and makes it that much more effective. I'm so glad you decided to go ahead and write this, it's definitely a missing moment that deserved writing. Congrats on another amazing story and talk to you soon! " " :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for encouraging me to write this story of their missing final hours, Princess. As you know, when I first had the plot idea, I planned to write it "eventually". When it suddenly became very personal for me, before I knew it, it seemed to write itself.
I'm glad that you felt the emotion of the situation came through in my writing. I appreciate your support and feedback. I also appreciate the wonderful banner that you made for me to tie all of the story elements together! It was perfect! Thank you again for reading, reviewing and for your friendship. :) " " ~Sugar~ Report Review
Ooohhh, who is it??? The final battle flashback was great! I liked how you went back and forth between the scenes within the battle, I would have thought it would be more jarring but it worked really well. Your story makes me sad for all of them...there's a lot of pain going around, so hopefully it's leading to a happy ending... ;) Although I know how you like to make me cry so I'm trying not to be too set on that, lol. But really...who was it at the door? Report Review
OOh.I love this flashback! Very nice and intense! The action was paced well and flowed brilliantly as always...poor Alex! Poor Harry! I'm so glad you've been able to work on this again and I hope your writer's block stays far away and that you continue to have time to share your talent with us. :) Report Review
You know what's cool about your story? I seriously have no idea where you're going with it, lol...you have so many ways you could go and I can't wait to see what you've decided to do. I loved the dream part and the new moments with Voldemort holding Ginny...very creepy! What does he want her for? Just to get to Harry? or for something else? I can't wait for Harry and Ginny to see each other again, there are so many ways you could go and I'm looking forward to finding out how you handle it. What are the cookies going to do? and What about Draco? lol...apparently you have questions to answer so write fast!! lol...great job! :) Report Review
Aw...isn't Harry the charmer in this one! I loved that he told her all of the things he loved about her, and helped her with her insecurities. The only criticism I have here is that Harry spoke so much that at times it seemed a bit OOC for the Harry we know. The words themselves and the sentiment were as always beautiful and cute when needed...but I'm not sure Harry would actually say some of the things he did here. Does that make sense? I love the idea and the chapter, Harry was just very loquacious...but who knows...maybe he is that way down by the lake with Ginny. ;) As always your attention to detail is stellar and I especially loved the end when she confessed that she loved him. You have a wonderful ability for narration and it really just ties everything together.yes...loving it. Can't wait for more! How often are you updating? :)Author's Response: Princess, I have to agree Harry is quite a bit out of character here. It's something I am working on. I think I was able to overcome using my voice in Harry's mouth in the last Interlude I wrote in Chapter 10, which is already posted on SIYE. In a way though I see it this way. Here is a boy who lived his childhood put away in a broom cupboard like something to be forgotten. He has no physical, emotional or even conversational contact with anyone. It would be like becoming unbound, to have his blinders and muzzle being removed. I'd go absolutely bonkers. Especially during that oh so wonderful stage we all remember fondly as raging hormones Oh and as I've said this is up to Chapter 10 on SIYE. HPFF only for one chapter at a time. I'm posting as they do. Thanks again for everything ~Enchanted Report Review
ooh...just lovely. It keeps getting better. If it weren't after 4am, I would gush some more...but then I'm afraid it would be incoherent. ;) I love your Charlie...and this chapter rings true to canon just as well as the others. I loved. The discussion about Percy and the confused emotions coming from Ginny made total sense...and the talk about boys was so cute. Very nice job once again. :)Author's Response: *Blush* Thank you so much, Iâ€™m really at a loss as to what to say and let me tell you that is practically impossible for me, because I can ramble with the best of them. Your generosity and kindness mean the world to me. Thanks! ~Enchanted
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