Reading Reviews From Member: HedwigsHaven
  
33 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HedwigsHavenWho knows?: you foul creature

5th December 2005:
Good first start. You may want to consider writing in third, and not first, person. It is difficult and distracting with all of the "I"s. Great start!

Author's Response: haha thanku!!! and thanx 4 the awsome banner by the way; i LOVE it!!! nd im just like really used 2 writting in the first person. ill see if i can make a change tho; thanks!!!

 Report Review

Review #2, by HedwigsHavenLegilimens: Death in the Garden

14th November 2005:
Oh, oh no! I am so glad you updated this wonderful story but oh how sad. Thank you for finishing it.

 Report Review

Review #3, by HedwigsHavenThe Best Disguise for Shame: Stand Inside Your Lust

13th October 2005:
Good chapter, you are a lot closer to what I would expect of Severus at that age. There are a few glitches, I am going to do a bit of a clean up and email it to you if you would like. Just let me know, my email is on my author page.

Author's Response: Alright, awesome, thanks

 Report Review

Review #4, by HedwigsHavenRemnants: Sorting

3rd October 2005:
Okay, good chapter. Good plot lines, you do need to read thrugh it again, some of your plurals are out of place. Also you may want to consider using "shall" a little less, makes your text sound a little forced. I am very interested in your next chapters!

Author's Response: All right. I'll have to go back and check everything. Do I really use shall a lot? Lol, I've never realized it. I usually use shall before will...even in real life when speaking to others...I guess I just like it more, but I see where you're coming from. I'll go back and revise everything soon. Thanks!

 Report Review

Review #5, by HedwigsHavenVeritas: Veritas

29th September 2005:
Well that was amazing, gut wretching and well written. Very well done...very well done

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I appreciate your review. =) I'm glad you liked it.

 Report Review

Review #6, by HedwigsHavenThe Best Disguise for Shame: Under the Beech Tree

28th September 2005:
Very snazzy banner! Where, might I ask, is chapter 9? Chapter 8 reads better now. We need chapter 9 ::drumms fingers irritably on desk:: I really would like to finish your story!

Author's Response: I'm working on it, I promise!! It should be out very soon. The delay is because I'm trying to finish Cinders so I can focus all my attention on this story! Cinders has one more chapter and an epilogue to go, so I promise it won't be long! Please Don't hurt me, I promise to go fast!! :)

 Report Review

Review #7, by HedwigsHavenThe Apprentice: The Foreshadowing

27th September 2005:
Wow, excellent story. Caught one little glitch you may want to fix ( “Will you kind excuse us?” Snape snapped curtly---perhapse kindly?) Excellent work.

 Report Review

Review #8, by HedwigsHavenLegilimens: The Battle Begins

26th September 2005:
nonnonononononono! I need the next chapters, oh this is so sad! So wonderfully written!

 Report Review

Review #9, by HedwigsHavenLegilimens: Cruel to be Kind

26th September 2005:
Oh my goodness, heartbreaking. Oh just hearbreaking, marvelous story, fantastic.

 Report Review

Review #10, by HedwigsHavenLegilimens: Sacrifice

26th September 2005:
Amazing, wonderful chapter again. Remarkable.

 Report Review

Review #11, by HedwigsHavenLegilimens: Crucio

26th September 2005:
Wonderful! Oh just wonderful! Love love love love this story! (I pull her chair back from the table and help her from the table...may want to take out the second "table")

 Report Review

Review #12, by HedwigsHavenLegilimens: Manipulating the Mentor

26th September 2005:
I am so sorry I haven't reviewed ever marvelous chapter, I am so engrossed. Wonderful work, beautiful story, keep on.

 Report Review

Review #13, by HedwigsHavenDeath Shan't Be Conquered: Prologue: Prelude To Tragedy

26th September 2005:
Great chapter, loved it! I think you kept him in excellent form until he conversed with Dumbledore...you may want to try and reel him in a bit. Excellent though, really.

 Report Review

Review #14, by HedwigsHavenRemnants: Rendezvous

22nd September 2005:
Excellent, I really love this story. I can't wait for your next chapter. I would leave some criticism if I could find anything big, but nothing jumped out at me yet, so keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Well, that's good....no criticism means it's going well so far. :D I'l really glad you like it....makes me so happy...lol...anyway, thanks for the review! I'll be updating soon.

 Report Review

Review #15, by HedwigsHavenInto the Darkness: Standing on the Edge

21st September 2005:
Wow, well done. Good charecterization of Severus. Can't wait to see your new chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks very much. I'll try to get out the new chapter whenever I have some inspiration. :-P

 Report Review

Review #16, by HedwigsHavenThe Best Disguise for Shame: Under the Beech Tree

20th September 2005:
Okay, another good chapter...but you pulled Severus WAY out of charecter. I know you are going for the unexplored side of him, but I would bring it down a bit (i.e, NO! Bad Severus--I really don't think so) Good storyline though, I would just bring it back a bit.

Author's Response: OKay, I took the whole "Bad Severus" thing out, thanks so much for alerting me to that. I went back and read it and realized how dumb it sounded! I was trying to show how awkward he really is toward the opposite sex, how little he knows about it all. Maybe I got a little..how should I say it...over excited with the idea, lol. Actually, I never planned to have an Elise storyline or a love interest or anything- it was originally going to be dark and cold all the way through. Thank you sooooo much for your comments, I hope you continue to read and review, because yours are some of the best reviews I've ever had. Thanks for making my day!

 Report Review

Review #17, by HedwigsHavenThe Best Disguise for Shame: She Knows His Name

20th September 2005:
Loved it! To funny! Wonderful story!

Author's Response: Thanks!

 Report Review

Review #18, by HedwigsHavenThe Best Disguise for Shame: Money and Girls, Girls and Money

20th September 2005:
Another good chapter, you may want to break up your paragraphs a bit though so it reads easier.

Author's Response: You know, i totally agree with you, I think I'll go back and do that

 Report Review

Review #19, by HedwigsHavenThe Best Disguise for Shame: Disasterous Arrival

20th September 2005:
Wow, another great chapter. His panic really grips you. Good chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, that's what I was going for

 Report Review

Review #20, by HedwigsHavenThe Best Disguise for Shame: A Birthday Fit for Darkness

20th September 2005:
I have to say, this is a great story thus far! I was so angry at James for trying to take the letter, and the remark about the 'abnormaly large facial protrusion' realy cracked me up, excellent writing!

Author's Response: haha thanks so much for the review, should be another update soon!

 Report Review

Review #21, by HedwigsHavenRemnants: Strangers at the Door

20th September 2005:
I really enjoyed this chapter, and am very interested in the next. You have a few gramatical and spelling errors (who doesn't?) but the story was great, good ideas and charectorizations (I know, and I am talking about spelling) Good chapter, keep up!

Author's Response: Yeah, I'll be going back and fixing the errors later...right now I just want to work on my main plot and worry about the other problems later [as long as it is readable, of course]. Thanks for the review!

 Report Review

Review #22, by HedwigsHavenProphetic: That Would Be Mine

19th September 2005:
Okay, I really loved this chapter, a few points though. First, you need to go back and rephrase a few sentances (i.e "And nor do I" omit and) Second, I know it is your fanfic and you can do whatever you like, but if you have Harry feeling Voldemorts emotion you may want to remember that Harry is a horrible Occlumens and Voldemort could easily call his bluff... great writing though and I can't wait for chapter 3!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review - I really appreciate pointers. Totally get the sentences - that should have been "And neither do I," - I must have been very tired lol. The whole Harry/Occlumency thing - as you can probably tell, seeing as Dumbledore is in this fic, I have overlooked a couple of points in HBP and OOTP lol - so here, Harry is obviously a lot mroe mature, and in my opinion he will master Occlumency before he faces Voldie.

 Report Review

Review #23, by HedwigsHavenProphetic: The Time Has Come

19th September 2005:
Very interesting, I like your writing style and the drama you have built up.

 Report Review

Review #24, by HedwigsHavenAshes of December: Ashes of December

18th September 2005:
Oh my, wonderful. One of the best, no, the best piece I have read. Amazing, what a beautiful, beautiful piece of work. What a wonderful way to portray Severus, the imagery is striking, fantastic.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! Your glowing appraisal makes me smile. =) I appreciate your review very much, and your kind words. I'm glad you liked it!

 Report Review

Review #25, by HedwigsHavenAdflictation Lair: When Misery Takes Over

14th September 2005:
good fic, I love the angst. Get thoes links out of the story though.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>