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Reading Reviews From Member: AlecJamesCaius_
  
51 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AlecJamesCaius_Abandon: Yes and No

25th September 2015:
Hiya! Next review! This one is going to be a lot longer because I just have more to say;p

I liked the flashback, in the first chapter I didn't quite grasp Roxanne's character as much as in this one. She is incredibly nice -- like, on another level nice. Ben is mean but he undoubtedly has his reasons. Draco seems to have changed drastically.
Anyways, I do dislike Benjamin so far. This seems to fit the typical James/OC stereotype for me. You have the MC (in this case canon) who doesn't want to fancy the love interest but no matter how hard she tries, she just can't resist his incredible "charm" "good looks" and especially. "badboyishness).

Personally, I'm not a big fan of James/OC type fics that follow this stereotype, because, except for that its always the same and you know what to expect, I hate how (some) girls are so incredibly attracted to bad boys. In this case as well, regardless of what reasonings Ben may have for his behavior, he was acting like your right git in this chapter. Especially his comment about Roxanne's breasts didn't sit right with me -- don't misunderstand, I'm a bloke and I'm all for big breasts -- but what he said was just very rude. I found him to be borderline sexual harassing in general, in this chapter. Of course, you could argue he knew Roxanne likes him, but if a girl continuously pushes you away and tells you to stop, you just stop, regardless of the situation. After all, you can't read minds and you could be interpretating her feelings wrong.
Its funny, Ben kinda reminds me of another JKR character, however this one is not in the HP-universe. I'm talking about Fats, from A Casual Vacancy. I'm reading it right now and I think its great -- you should read it too if you haven't already.
Anyways, poor poor shy,insecure,naive Roxanne. She seems like a truly amazing girl, I wish better for her than that arrogant git of a Benjamin ;p

I'll swallow all my words if his back story ends up making up for his behavior though! Dom was really cute by the way! So she's taller than Victoire? But Victore is supposed to be in her 20ies at this point... Dom is described as very young. Is Victoire abnormally short...? This part was a bit confusing.

Again, amazing contrast with my Dom, who is pretty much the opposite of your Dom. I wonder what will happen next Gabs, you've got me really excited! :D I just KNOW you've got all kinds of interesting stuff -- twists and turns and all that-- in store for me! Characterization truly is one of your strong points, it seems!

P.S. I forgot to mention it in my previous review, but I think its so cool you read Attack on Titan! :D I've only seen season 1 of the anime though but I thought it was great. I'm an anime lover too :)

See ya on the next one!

Alec

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by and giving me these great reviews. I'm actually happy that you had more to say for this chapter because I honestly have quite a bit to say as well but we'll get to that. :D

I have no idea why I decided to include the flashbacks in this particular story. It was originally put up about a year or two ago called "Growth" and it just never really took off. When I started this version, I thought that it would be an interesting contrast to show how Roxanne has changed and the contrasts between the past and present. If you keep reading, you'll see that the events in the past kind of foreshadow events that happen in the current chapter. Anyway, Roxie is actually a very sweet little girl. I think that she's a lot like her father in that regard but the thing with Benjamin is that you're right, he has reasons for being the way he is. I can't spoil it for you just now though because it kind of made my readers upset when they learned the truth later on.

Ah, Benjamin. There are quite a few people who loathe him. Like, seriously hate him. I didn't intend for him to be that way because I was trying to go for the "mysterious bad boy" cliche but now that I look back on it, I would really change his character. This story is a bit old now and the current chapters have evolved a lot so when I look back on these older chapters, I wince a little. I've tried to soften Benjamin up in later chapters but in all honesty--I'm kind of embarrassed about how he's been written. I'm personally a fan of the bad boy cliche, which is why I like writing characters like this so much. (Check out Teddy Lupin in my story Transparent if you want to know more about that. Yeesh.)

Anyway, Benjamin does have a side of him that I'm not too keen on. I would probably go back and drastically change his character if I had the time but for right now, I'm just trying to focus on getting this story finished. I think that Roxanne is attracted to Benjamin because she's known him for so long and considers him a friend no matter what happened in the past BUT the entire thing about him intimidating her a little kind of makes me cringe. I'm not proud of that at all. Hahaha. It's nice to get a man's perspective on this though because the lovely ladies who have reviewed this story kind of skimp over that.

Warning: You will not like Benjamin by Chapter six. You will want to hit me. You are allowed to send me an angry PM about it.

About Dominique: Dom is taller than Victoire, I don't know why I pictured her that way but I thought it would be neat that she towered over her sister in height but was so shy. Anyway, the thing about the ages in this story isn't canon or what we know as canon when it comes to the grandkids. Dom is sixteen in this story, Victoire is eighteen, Roxanne is fifteen, Teddy Lupin is almost twenty and God help me if I remember how old the rest of them are.

All of my stories are interlinked so if you had wanted to go in order, you would do it this way:

A Force of Wills

This is Angelina

This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste

Transparent

Abandon

Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince.


P.S.: I am a HUGE anime nerd and I love Attack on Titan! Nightmare fuel for sure but it's pure bliss. The second season is going to be coming out next year! I'm so excited! *Fangirls*

Much love,

Gabbie >:)


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Review #2, by AlecJamesCaius_Abandon: Strangers and Fireworks

25th September 2015:
Hey, doing my part of the swap! I didn't have much time to properly sit down and r&r your story the last couple of days until now. I hope you don't mind.

So we have Roxanne as our MC here. She goes to one of, I suspect the many, party/reunions of the Weasley's and I think it was done well. Its a nice touch how George made his workplace like the Burrow :) Its funny to see the contrasts between your story and mine and how we imagine characters differently! Benjamin was interesting at the end, his back story could end up being crazy. What did he do to Roxanne? I'm excited to see what the next chapter brings!

Alec

Author's Response: Hello!

For some reason, I completely missed this first review for Abandon. Here I am with your response!

I tried to start this story somewhere else but for some reason, the fact that everyone was there for a family gathering felt better. I wanted to have Roxanne introduced as a very loved person and I'm happy that it turned out okay because writing so many Weasley's and Potters was hard. I cried a little...

Hahah. I try to reference the HP books as often as I can. I don't know why the joke shop would resemble the Burrow after a while but it just does in my head. George and Lee have a bad habit of blowing things up... I also love the contrasts between your story and mine! It's so much fun!

Oh, Benjamin. You find out all you need later and you left wonderful critique on him too. :D

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #3, by AlecJamesCaius_With Every Breath: With Every Breath

2nd September 2015:
Here for our review swap :)

So lets start with originality; you scored great on that one! I've never read a Kendra/Bathilda, nor has the thought ever even crossed my mind. I love how you characterized Kendra as a loving sweet mother, even though initially we always got the vibe in the books that she was a horrible mother. Ofcourse in the end it turned out she was nice but I think I somehow forgot about that but this was a nice wake up call ;p
Wow, I have a really hard time NOT imagining Bathilda as super old, for some reason?!
Ariana was very cute and well portrayed as well. I didn't notice any spelling/grammar mistakes, but I'm not a native speaker and tend to gloss over such things so yeah... Take of that what you will. Atleast there was nothing that bothered my reading experience.
One thing I personally found a little odd was the kiss on the head thing. So Bathilda gave her a kiss on the head, and than later wrote a letter apologizing for it? It seemed a bit formal to me... It would have been different if it was a kiss on the lips. Maybe its just me though!
Also, it seemed like immediately as Bathilda kissed Kendra, Kendra was hitten by Cupido's arrow. Kendra's love for Bathilda felt quite sudden. And finally, for some constrictive criticism, you might want to consider that this story takes place in the 1800s,(possibly even the 1700s... The dates aren't clear but Wizards generally live very long). Homosexuality was a huge deal in those times. Yet both characters treat it as if it's nothing here. Shouldn't Bathilda have been scared in telling Kendra she was gay? Thinking Kendra might not accept her for it?
Ofcourse, it COULD just be the Wizarding Society apparently was extremely progressive and tolerant even all those centuries ago, but really I'm just giving you some food for thought :p It's not a REAL issue!

Overall I thought this was a cute little story and I particularly liked the originality! Also you did great in terms of femslash in my opinion. I hope you liked my review, and I'm excited for your review! :)

Alec

Author's Response: Hi Alec!!

Sorry I haven't gotten to this until now! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I am super glad that you enjoyed this!

I am glad that the pairing is original. I really wanted to give Kendra some credit where credit is due. She didn't choose for her life to change so abruptly. Especially with having to take care of a daughter who was quite dependent on her. It takes its toll. I am happy that you were able to see her as a loving mother.

Yeah... Once I got to the end of this I was struggling... greatly. It isn't my best work towards the end, and I think in the future I may go back to revisit this and change a few things around to make it seem more with the time and not so quick. If that makes sense!

Thank you again for the review and my apologies for taking so long to get to yours!

Hope you're well!

-Jenn


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Review #4, by AlecJamesCaius_Traitorous Hearts: A Dangerous Revelation

23rd August 2015:
3/3 of our swap for now! I meant to review this one sooner, but Real life really got in the way. And it was not pleasant.

This chapter showed a lot of Astoria's character. Ginny was portrayed well, and I liked the dynamic between them. I really think Ginny was like that during her 6th year!
Haha the end bit really reminded me of Snape. "No one will find out about this. Ever." It felt like you drew that parallel on purpose?
Still, you continue to have close to none apparent spelling/grammar mistakes! Good job!

I'm really tired, so I'll have to stop this review now... I hope that's ok. Sorry it wasn't more detailed!

As soon as you feel like swapping again, don't hesitate to contact me!

Alec

Author's Response: I am so sorry that real life was unpleasant--I hope it all works out!

Thank you! I really love Ginny's character in the books, on the rare occasion we get a glimpse of it, so it was a lot of fun to take that and run with it.

That avoidance of recognition is definitely something that I think of as a Slytherin trait, which is a lot of what this story is exploring. Slytherins are all for glory in the right moment, but they also don't want their vulnerabilities revealed. If Dumbledore told anyone about Snape, the question of *why* he did it would come up--Lily. And my interpretation is that Snape didn't want that part of his heart to become public knowledge. Astoria is the same way--people would want to know *why* she helped them, and she doesn't want anyone knowing about her mother. That's personal. Besides all that, I think Slytherins are taught to look down a bit on heroes and heroics. They don't really care to be thought of as such, because heroes are often foolish. Finally, a small bit of it is honor--Astoria doesn't feel that she deserves to be thought of as a hero, because she believes she was out for revenge, not to help. Snape, likewise, wouldn't think of himself as any kind of hero. He's paying a debt.

I mean, those are just my interpretations, but that's why I think it might be in Slytherin nature to turn down that kind of recognition. And Snape and Astoria are both Slytherins to their core.

Thanks so much for the review, and for pointing that parallel out--I think you're the first to do so!

--Penny


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Review #5, by AlecJamesCaius_Traitorous Hearts: The Lady of Greengrass Hall

22nd August 2015:
Back again! Especially since you dared me to, here's 2/3 of our review swap!

Firstly, I just wanted to take a bit of time to response to your author response to my first review.
I wanted to thank you for the response overall, since you cleared out a couple of things I brought up, and also for the quickness.
I'm glad you understood were I was coming from -- I was hoping that my comparison to Hermione having big breasts would be enough -- and I'm believing you if you say Draco could be above average in height. I don't recall though.
I realize I was assuming a bit by drawing a possible comparison between you and Astoria in liking tall men a lot, but gladly you perfectly understood my reasoning; I assumed it since you mentioned Draco's height so much and so positively.
I have to disagree on writing Astoria being the same as writing Next Gen. With NG, you have a lot of family/romantical relationships to go of off, with Astoria you've got nothing. Also, with NG you have personalities to go of off, with characters like James II or Fred. With Astoria, nothing.
Basically her one defining characteristic is that she ended up marrying Draco -- I'm pretty sure that's it.

But now on to the actual review!!

What a bloody great chapter! This chapter got me in to the story!!
I liked how you wrote this one almost like a fairy tale or an old children's book -- or maybe an old Disney movie. You get my drift.

Lavinia's back story was very interesting and well written! You brought up several interesting points and just like her youngest daughter, she seems quite like a strong independent Pureblood woman! Tieing her back story in with canon was well done, and it all made sense. Letting a spy go into battle indeed sounded fishy, her than falling of her broom and later discovering it wasn't so much the 'falling of the broom'... Because she was murdered. Murdered, by the people she worked for. This greatly ties in with how you started the story, about secrets having to be KEPT. Because if they aren't, you can end up like Lavinia.

I'm really excited to know what exactly happened to Lavinia! And Astoria is planning to bring the death eaters down? :o How??
How exciting!! I've got nothing but praise for this chapter! I sure do hope we'll continue this swap after ch3!
Oh, and I have to commend you for lack of grammar/spelling mistakes.

Next review can be expected soon!

Alec

Author's Response: Hey there!

I did understand where you were coming from, and I'm glad you pointed it out to me. It's exactly the kind of thing I want to fix in my revisions. I don't really know that it's quite the same thing as if a man were ogling Hermione's breasts--that's automatically sexual in nature, and height doesn't have that same connotation. However, it was certainly mentioned overmuch, to the point that when I re-read it I am uncomfortable with it. I'm happy you pointed it out, because now I can fix it.

Yeah, I do understand. I just caution you to be careful in suggesting that the writer is inserting things because they find them attractive. I get why it came up--I really do--but some people would find that offensive. I know you didn't mean it that way, though.

You definitely have very little to go on when writing Astoria. It's a bit more than an OC, but you're right that it is *more* similar to an OC than a Next-Gen, when I consider it further. We know Astoria's family are members of the Sacred 28--the "real" purebloods. And we know that she has a sister named Daphne who is two years older. And, of course, we know that she marries Draco. There are assumptions that can be drawn from all those things. But, in the end, those are the only "hard" facts, and none of them come from the books, but rather from interviews with J.K., so exactly how much of that is considered canon is definitely up for debate.

(By the way, I wanted to say that i'm impressed that you're writing in your second language. That's quite difficult. I speak a second language pretty fluently, but I still don't know that I'd try to write a novel in it. That's so fantastic!)

I'm glad you liked the chapter! Lavinia definitely bit off more than she could chew, and her death *is* super fishy.

How is Astoria planning to bring the Death Eaters down, or at least make them take a hit? Well, I can't reveal that. But chapter 3 does. :D

My reading list is crazy long right now, between the Dobbys and the Silver Scales (Slytherin awards), but I'll still be doing review swaps on occasion, so when I get a chance we can see if we can make that work.


--Penny




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Review #6, by AlecJamesCaius_Traitorous Hearts: An Unwelcome Visitor

21st August 2015:
Here for the multi swap!

Nice little intro with the part about secrets. You set up a rather mysterious vibe. I never read Astoria, because in my opinion she's such an incredibly minor and unimportant character that reading her would be the same as reading an OC character, that I'd just rather read about an OC in its entirety. I don't have anything against her though and your Astoria is different from most and she seems very likeable. We have Draco enter the scene and that leaves alot of interesting possible developments open. One thing that I found odd though regarding Draco was your continuous use of calling Draco incredibly tall.
I'm pretty sure that from canon, Draco was never described as being above average in height -- let alone super tall. And the way you wrote it in suggested Astoria (and perhaps you as well) found his tallness too be rather attractive.
Ofc I don't have a problem with Astoria finding his height attractive, but it does seem very odd to add a physical attribute to a canon character to make him more attractive in someone else's eyes.
I hope you understand me.
That would be the same as, if for example you would write Hermione in a story through the eyes of a romantical interest of her and have that interest comment on her big breasts several times.
Think about it.
Also, we learned that something terrible happened with her mom, and I assume she's dead now. This may tie in with that mysterious part earlier in the story, about her mom talking about secrets.

I'll be back with the next chapter soon! G'bye!

Alec

Author's Response: Hi! I've just finished with my first two rounds for the review swap and you and Kaitlin are up next! But I thought I'd take a second to answer this review first.

I've never really thought about it that way. It's true that writing Astoria is a lot like writing an OC, just with a few more details to go on, but to me it seems about the same as writing most of the Next-Gen characters. Almost all we know is their names, some family members, and basic circumstances. From there on out we're just elaborating. OC's give you a little more freedom, I guess, but on the whole it's pretty similar.

I don't think Draco's height was really mentioned in canon, tall or short, so I think we're free to imagine it as we will. Harry is said to be quite tall, and I imagine them being of a similar height.

However, I took a look, and I think Draco's height *is* mentioned one more time than it really needs to be. I'd never noticed that. Probably something that got added in for detail during an edit without my realizing that it had been described previously.

I write from the perspective of my characters. Astoria does find height to be an attractive quality. I'd be careful about assuming that writers and their subjects share the same views or find the same things attractive, though. However, if it was sticking out for you as something that was coming up too much, I can see why you might make that assumption. The height thing is definitely not a personal obsession of mine, just an editing error ;)

Astoria notices that Draco is tall not just because in my headcanon he is, or because she finds it attractive, but because he is looming large in her space. His presence is making her feel small, and she's trying to fight against that. But I don't want it to come up too much, to the point that it's a distraction. I'll take a look at that the next time I run through edits.

--Penny




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Review #7, by AlecJamesCaius_Beautiful Mess: Beautiful Mess

14th August 2015:
Hey! Here for our swap

So I'm normally not a fan of fluff. I'm actually the complete opposite. Usually, fluff and angst are the only 2 genres I do not read,ever.
However, this time I made an exception because I noticed this was an entry for a challenge I'm participating in as well! :D
Infact, the story that you'll review is MY entry! So I thought I'd give this one a read, and to my surprise I quite liked it.
It was just so heartwarming and sweet! Perhaps I shouldn't be so harsh on fluff anymore. Maybe its just that all the fluff I read before I quit reading it was just bad fluff. If its done like this I quite like it!

Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Alec,

Thank you so much for the review. It was very very kind of you :)


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Review #8, by AlecJamesCaius_Victoire: The Guard

14th August 2015:
Hey!!

I'm very impressed! What an amazing opening chapter!
I don't really know what the main storyline of this fic is yet, but this was so intriguing I have to read more! The part with McLaggen was well written and you used the little information given in the books well. I could see Ron and Harry giving McLaggen the worst job. They're really not angels like Hermione.
I also liked how you wrote the impact that Greyback had on Victoire/Teddy.
I never really gave that much thought to it but the way you wrote it made it seem very believable. It was also written well, with no grammar/spelling mistakes (atleast I didn't notice any) and you have a good vocabulary to express what you want to say (something I often struggle with in English)
One thing I could point out is that McLaggrn didn't really seem to have the character traits we know him from -- you'd almost feel sorry for him here, but in canon he was a giant jerk. Maybe its just me though. Thanks for the swap!

Alec

Author's Response: Hi Alec,

Thanks so much for such a kind review! I love that you found Harry and Ron believable. I don't think they're quite as bad as McLaggen makes out, but neither of them is flawless and they've both been very impatient in the past. I thought it was pretty likely they'd take advantage of the fact a guy they hated at school was working with them.

I agree that McLaggen's a little different. I wanted to let him grow up a bit from the character we see in the books, and I think from his POV he's obviously going to seem nicer than he really is. But yeah, it's definitely a change.

Thanks so much for the lovely feedback! So so glad you enjoyed reading.

Emma x


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Review #9, by AlecJamesCaius_Another Sunday morning with Merlin !: Another Sunday morning with Merlin !

11th August 2015:
Doe, I actually think this is my favorite story of yours yet!!

Don't misunderstand, I like the others but most of them haven't quite picked up in plot yet. Anyways, I find Fudge very likeable here and his racoon was an amazing touch! I personally have a soft spot for racoons, especially since The Legend of Korra, and imagining him running around wearing a little cute Ravenclaw tie was a nice mental image.
I liked Fudge' Percy like behavior alot, all though its kinda sad he doesn't seem to have any friends except for his pet and his headmaster. You know me, I love me some humorous stories and I liked the casual light hearted smirk moments this one gave me.
Its interesting how Fudge and Dumbledore used to be so incredibly close in your headcanon, I do remember Fudge always asking big D for advice alot when he just became Minister, but that's about it. I hope you expand upon this story! I'd love to read more about Fudge,Merlin and big D. I'm really happy for you that that little piece you sent me weeks ago turnt out so well! :D

Also, I just realized both this one-shot and mine are entering the same challenge gheheh. May the best win :D ! (Or neither, obvs)

Thanks for the swap!

Alec

Author's Response: Hi there Alec,

I'm so happy you like this one ! It's been haunting the deepest corners of my brain for a while until I got it out on paper haha I'm actually proud of this one !

There will probably more Cornelius one-shots since I really enjoyed writing about him ! I have a list of things I made up about Cornelius and most of them don't even show in this story, so probably this won't be the last time you hear about him, or crazy fluffy Merlin haha

Oh yes haha I saw you posted your one-shot in the thread after I reviewed it ! Yes, let the best story win ! Or not hahah

You are always welcome !

Doe


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Review #10, by AlecJamesCaius_Whimsy: Rain Rain Go Away

11th August 2015:
Here for the review swap!

I absolutely love Luna as a character, I always found her too cute in the books/movies. I've never read a story about young Luna, and I've also never read a story about her mother. All characters were in character and I really believe this is how her mum could have been.
Sadly enough, I only know 'Where the Wild things are ' by name, so I haven't read and can't draw any conclusions/relations on that. Also, I don't think I detected any spelling/grammar mistakes except for something small: you wrote "Smiling Xeno..." but it should've been "Smiling, Xeno..." but that's just nitpicking really. However, I felt like I still should point it out because you might appreciate it. Also, I didn't know Luna's mother was called Pandora; what a wonderful and incredibly fitting name!
Cute little story, very fitting to the Lovegoods, and I read through it easily. All the descriptions of all the creatures were wonderful too, I'm not sure if they were canon but you sure made it look like they were! Kudos for your imagination yo!

Thanks for the swap! Great story!

Alec

Author's Response: Hey Alec,

Thanks for the swap!

I hadn't read much about young Luna or her mom, at least nothing pleasant. The only stories I've really seen revolved around her mother's death and I wanted this to be much lighter.

You must read "Where The Wild Things Are." It's an essential children's book.

Thanks for catching that typo. I'm the worst with commas.

She is indeed named Pandora

I'm so glad you enjoyed!

Thanks for your feedback!

~Kaitlin


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Review #11, by AlecJamesCaius_Sea of Love: I

11th August 2015:
Hey, here for the review swap!

Scorpius being a children's healer was very original; I don't think I ever read him like that. He really seems like the nicest guy, worrying about all of them so much and feeling guilty he can't always help them. And Rose just seems like the best girlfriend ever; you'd think it was his birthday or anything. But no, she noticed how Scorpius has been feeling recently and went incredibly out of her way just to make him happy.
Another thing I like is how this actually could all happen in real life -- literally all of it. This easily could have been set in a non-Wizarding situation and just thinking about such a thing happening in real life is so heartwarming :)
A short but sweet little story. So there are 3 more chapters to go, I wonder what those'll focus on?Oh, and good job on the lack of spelling/grammar mistakes! It was also written very well, I read it in a heartbeat without any problems.

Thanks for the swap!

Alec

Author's Response: Hey Alec!
I've always picture Scorpius as a really nice, down-to-earth kind of guy, so when I was imagining what kind of career he might have, a kids' Healer immediately came to mind. I've never seen him written in that profession, but in my mind it just fit him.
Rose can definitely tell when Scorp is stressed or worried, and I think that it honestly makes her happy to do something fun for him. I see them as a very loving couple, who have figured out enough about themselves and their lives that they can just have fun when they're together and support each other unconditionally without lots of relationship drama.
I'm really glad you thought this was relatable, and could see it happening in real life!
Yes, there are 3 more chapters. Those will focus on their wedding, Rose and Scorp as parents, and then the last chapter will be when they're older, and their kids have grown up. So the story really shows little snapshots of different points in their lives together.
Thank you so much for the swap, and I've so glad you liked this!
Cassie :)


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Review #12, by AlecJamesCaius_1981: Spring

8th August 2015:
Here for the swap again!

I fully dislike Peter haha, and even though I probably should think differently of him reading this, I can't help disliking him. I guess I'm just harsh with such things. I'm not sure if James/Sirius thinking Remus was betraying them is canon? Regardless I do feel very sorry for him.
The scene with James,Harry & Lily sure was sweet!

Thanks for the swap!
Alec

Author's Response: Welcome back!

No worries, it's totally fine to dislike Peter. I personally have conflicting feelings towards him, but I didn't write this expecting people to like him, I merely tried to get into his mind and intepret him in a way that I thought fitting.

Well, we know from canon that Sirius suggested to swap to Peter without telling Remus because he was convinced Remus was the spy. And since James agreed to it, we can suppose that he thought the same. I might've outdone it a little, surely. But even if it isn't strictly canon, it isn't against canon either.

I'm happy you found James, Lily and Harry sweet! I love their family!

Thank you again for the swap!!!


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Review #13, by AlecJamesCaius_1981: Winter

8th August 2015:
Wow Felpata! I'm impressed!

I've already read Two Lillies of yours, and this seems almost like it was written by a different author. This one seems so much more... Mature? I'm not sure. I liked Two Lillies but this story has an amazing sad tone -- in a good way, because I usually don't like angst. Every character was captured well and there weren't too many grammar/spelling mistakes. Its original to write a year in the life of 4 people in 4 chapters featuring 3 characters as well. I particularly liked Sirius' feeling of being completely miserable.

Good job! On to the next one for our swap!

Alec

Author's Response: Hey, Alec!
Thank you, I'm happy you liked it!

As I said, "Two Lilies" was one of my earliest works and I have improved a tiny bit since then. I think this story and "The unusual tale of Shirley the Squib and Brian the Boggart" are my best ones so far, stylistically talking.

Anyway, I'm happy you liked how I portrayed the characters and the chapters' structure as well!

Thank you for the swap and the kind review.
Chiara


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Review #14, by AlecJamesCaius_Dragged Under: Gryffindors and Slytherins

30th July 2015:
Hiya! Another review for you!

Hm, I can see some plot coming right around the corner. We've got Sirius interested in Alexandra, who is friends with Regulus (or maybe more?)
As you said it is coming a bit slow, but you could try and speed it up a bit in the next chapter.
One big thing that I also noticed in my other review is that you constantly switch tenses, which just isn't right and reads weirdly. A story is written in either past tense or present tense, not both.
Another interesting thing is learning more about Regulus and how he joined the Death Eathers (and WHY he did) which I hope we get more of in future chapters.

Keep on writing!

Alec

Author's Response: Hiya!

The pace of this story will surely get a bit faster, there were just a few details that I had to put out there to get you in the mood of the story, but it will definitely speed up :D

Thank you for dropping by and wait up for the next chapter ^^

Doe


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Review #15, by AlecJamesCaius_Fair Agony, Fair Madness: Chapter II : Crystal Clear

29th July 2015:
Woohoo! First to review your new chapter!

I absolutely loved this chapter! I'm not entirely sure why I liked this one so much more than the previous one (but I still liked the previous, don't misunderstand!) but I think it has something to do with the feel of this one.

It was all just so perfect, Dom(called it!) and Al reminiscing about the past at the lake and the story of how they found it was cute as well. I think it spoke to me in particular because I love it when something like that happens: for example when I'm playing football with my friends the whole day on a warm summer day, and then at the end of the day as the sun is going down we are all sitting together on the ground(perhaps under a tree for shadow) and just start reminiscing about the past and the fun times we had: That time friend A shot a ball through the window of a house and the owner chased him for 10 minutes straight; that time friend B got busted talking about what he would do to teacher A etc. etc. ...

It are such moments that are just so wonderful. This chapter really gave me such a feel -- don't know the word for it in English, but that feeling when you're thinking about the past and get that smile/grin on your face.

You did a good job at keeping up the suspense about what exactly happened and why everyone is acting the way they are acting. One thing that stood out to me that you can improve on is that you very often switch in tense. One sentence may be past tense, the next may be now and the one after that may be past tense again. It did disrupt the flow of reading a bit. But honestly, you got me very into the story with this one. Its a bummer I have to wait for the next chapter now :/

Alec

Author's Response: Hi there Alec

Thank you for the review ! About the change of tense part, it's actually very common when the story travels between past and present: past tense for past events and present tense for present events.. I hope that clears things for you !

Come back for more and for cookies

Doe


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Review #16, by AlecJamesCaius_Two Lilies: Epilogue. Back to the start.

21st July 2015:
This was a great ending chapter and gave alot of closure. Now I may have come over as if I didn't like this story all that much through my reviews, but I actually really liked it. I was just being critical so I could possibly help you. But this really was a fun read.

One question I've had for the majority of the story however was left unanswered, that or I missed it. In the latter case I hope you can tell me. Both Lillies seemed to remember their adventures. So WHY did non modern Lily end up marying non modern James and get non modern Harry, while she knew that she would be killed by Voldemort in a few years??? How can you just live out your destiny if you know you and your family will be brutally murdered in a few years?

Anyways, again, good work!

Alec

Author's Response: And finally the epilogue!
I'm very happy that you liked it! :)

I thought I explained it here, but maybe it didn't pass well... Lily doesn't remember every detail of her twentyfirst century's experience. She knows it had happened, and she remembers flashes and sensations, a bit like it was a dream. But she doesn't remember, for instance, her parents dying. Or seeing PoA. Or most of what Charlotte told her about Harry Potter. She remembers only enough to know that she should be more tolerant and enjoy life more and share more affection around.
I know it was a bit of a forced choice, but I had no other way to make it work (couldn't think of one, at least). Because, like you said, she would've tried to save her family if she'd known what was to come.

Thanks for doing this swap! And I'm happy you enjoyed the story!
Chiara


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Review #17, by AlecJamesCaius_Two Lilies: Time to say goodbye.

21st July 2015:
Again, a very confusing chapter unfortunely. the litle spaces were confusing the merlin out of me. One time the little space indicated a pov switch, anotherh time it was a time jump, another time it didnt mean anything and just continued the story line. Its too bad because this story wouldve been alot more entertainingng too me if it was more clear. Its an easy thing to edit though!
Another thing I didnt understand was how theyre were so upset about people they barely knew. It was a fun story all in all, especially the parallel universe concept, imo

Epilogue next!

Alec

Author's Response: Again, sorry for any confusion... I'll see if I can fix it.

Lily is so upset because, even if they aren't her parents, there is still a sort of connection. Besides, knowing they died in a car crash brought back the memories of her father dying. It was like falling into the nightmare again.

As for the boys, they weren't really upset about Lily's parents, but about Lily herself. For Remus it felt especially hard, because he wished he could make her feel better, but didn't know how. And I suppose James felt something similar, too.

I'm sorry grammar and formatting issues disturbed you that much, but I'm very happy you liked the parallel universes concept and that you enjoyed the story in its whole.


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Review #18, by AlecJamesCaius_Two Lilies: Dreaming of home.

21st July 2015:
Alec again for the multi swap.

The concept was interesting, but I had to read this chapter several times to fully understand it. The frequent POV switching without any real indication that it happened was the main reason for this, but if that wasn't confusing enough, we saw one lily play a scene through the eyes of the OTHER one continuously.
I was completely lost the first time xD

Although I don't like modern lily that much anymore for being that mean to Remus (I doubt the Marauders acted like that when they found out, modern lily doesn't seem to have such great character) I'm glad she ended up with Remus. There were some big grammar issues like: "You really dreamt her?" which isn't right in any situation. But I guess the story is coming to a close. Lets see how the last chapter is!

Alec

Author's Response: Hi Alec.
Here to (finally) answer your reviews.

I'm sorry this got you confused... I wanted it to be a bit (I wanted the reader figure out with the dreaming Lily what was going on) but I never meant for it to get too confusing. I'll try to find a formatting that can work better.

Modern Lily is far from perfect, but who is, really? Her behaviour with Remus wasn't good, and surely the Marauders were quicker in accepting Remus' condition. But I'm sure he's received far worse reactions in his life. And I really can't judge Lily too harshly for her behaviour. She is my OC after all (it's a bit like having a daughter). I'm happy you're glad she made up with Remus in the end, despite everything!

Thank you again for the review.


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Review #19, by AlecJamesCaius_Two Lilies: Jealousy and misteries - part II.

18th July 2015:
Multi swapping!

Note: This review got taken down because I used a swear word in the original. Sorry it took so long to re-upload, I kinda forgot about it ghehehe, sorry...

Peter has been super ooc to me this whole fic. Like he's another person? He doesn't have any of the character traits we know him from. I disliked how mean Lily acted in this chapter, out of nowhere... And developing feelings for James as well all of the sudden? What happened to Remus being 'the one'? What's up with that? Now I know she was supposed to dislike or atleast not like this time as much anymore, otherwise she couldn't go back, but still.
I LOVE YOUR PARALLEL UNIVERSE CONCEPT ! Because it could actually fit in canon unexpectedly perfect: non modern Lily came to appreciate James' qualities in the future. This works perfectly because before her trip to the future, she hated non modern James even though she was destined to marry him. So, as you explained, since she was straying from her destined path, she had the switch so destiny could set things straight again. Makes sense, because Lily always hated James and then boom: they suddenly dated last year and had a child barely 3 years later. Always sounded unbelievable to me. This could actually explain it. Interesting how this was what the story was all about all along, it had a way bigger underlying meaning than I expected. Still wonder how non modern Lily is going to just accept that she, her future-husband and future-son will die. Knowing non modern Lily, she would do absolutely anything to protect her son&husband. If she knew they would be in danger in the future, she'd do anything to save them, even if it would go against destiny, right???But Good job! Like, seriously!

Alec

Author's Response: Hi Alec.
No worries, it's ok. :)

Oh, Peter. He is a bit of a mistery in my opinion. You probably expected him to be clumsy and stupid? I can't see him that way. He must've been quite smart if he managed to foul his friends so effectively. And he must've been braver than he's often depicted if he accepted to become an Animagus to spend full moon nights with a werewolf. And the Marauders wouldn't have wanted him around if he had no interesting characteristics at all.
Obviously, this is only my opinion... And I might have outdone it a bit...

I know Lily isn't exactly likeable in this chapter... But she's scared, and confused, and lost. As for her attraction towards James, it had been there all the time (even if not as strong as her feelings for Remus) and now that she can't figure out her feelings for Remus anymore, she's clinging to James instead. Does it make any sense to you?

I'm happy you liked my concept of parallel universes. Yes, Lily falling for James was partly the purpose of all the switch thing.
I have sort of a justification as for why Lily didn't try to save her family, but you'll find out only at the end, I'm afraid.

Thank you for the review and see you againon the next chapter of this/your story!
Chiara


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Review #20, by AlecJamesCaius_Tear Stained Heart: Scene One

15th July 2015:
Looking for which story to review, I noticed you have alot of dramione. Now I generally dislike that pairing, so I searched further and then I found that you write Ron /Hermione as well. I was genuinely surprised because usually people like one or the other, not both. I was even more surprised when you wrote them so well and so cute. It was very like Ron to forget what he was going to say and their vows were pretty cute. I didn't notice any spelling/grammar mistakes, good job there as well!

Alec

Author's Response: Thank you! This story is actually dear to my heart, just because of all the meaning that is carried in the story. Thank you for stopping by and leaving this review! I'm really glad that we were able to do a swap =)

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Review #21, by AlecJamesCaius_Two Lilies: Dates.

14th July 2015:
Hey there, Alec with the multi swap again

One thing that you should consider changing is that when you switch POV's, you have absolutely no kind of indication that it happened. Its confusing. Very confusing honestly.
There was alot of bad grammar sadly as well, and my last point is that this chapter was like, incredibly fluff. Fluff happens to be the one and only genre I can't stand, which resulted in me not liking it all that much... That's not your fault though!! insert *its not you, its me* here
Everything just went so WELL. In my opinion, there should be at least SOME kind of conflict, tension,drama etc. In a story. I do believe though you haven't classified this story as fluff?
Something I really like is how modern James is as non modern james and slowly shows nonmodern lily why she eventually fell in love with non modern James, something she did not understand at all at first.

hope you liked my review,

Alec

Author's Response: Hi, Alec.
Sorry for the lateness.

I'm sorry you found the POV switching confusing. I tried to separate the two POVs with spacing, but maybe that isn't enough. I might try with asterisks or something...

I'll check the grammar. I'm planning on finding a beta and go through all my stories. I just need to find the right moment to do it.

Oh, well... I like fluff... I'm a "butterflies, rainbows and unicorns" kind of person, if you know what I mean... Reality is already so hard, I think a bit of fluff in fiction is only healthy. :)
The drama will come, anyway. I needed this chapter to be fluffy, because what follows isn't at all...

I'm happy you enjoyed how modern James is the link for Lily to understand that she can like non modern James. That's exactly what I wanted to do.

Thanks for the swap,
Chiara


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Review #22, by AlecJamesCaius_Two Lilies: Jealousy and misteries.

14th July 2015:
Alec here, back with the multi swap.

Interesting chapter here, several things happened. I have to get it out of the way: there was a good amount of bad grammar in this chapter and sometimes just weird wording of what you wanted to say: for example, dragging James away by his ankles??
Both James and Snape were well portrayed and reacted to Lily/Remus exactly as you'd expect. Even though much happened, I can't help but feel the story wasn't really moved along all that much in this chapter? Haha, maybe its just me. I also feel like the plot hasnt picked up completely yet, is that true?
The story is a fun read however, its reads away quickly, which is a good thing!

Alec

Author's Response: Hi Alec.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, despite the grammar. As I said in the other response, I'll try to go back and fix it.

I'm happy you liked my portrayal of James and Severus.

Well, no... I think the plot hasn't picked up completely yet... I'm happy you're finding the story amusing, anyway. And that it flows well. It's good to hear.

Thank you for reviewing,
Chiara


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Review #23, by AlecJamesCaius_The Story of Nicolae: The Japanese Lava-Swimmer

13th July 2015:
Hiya. Multi swap here again.

Talking primarily about the first part of this chapter:
I'm sorry that I have to bring this one up again, but the pacing was a bit off in this chapter. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, its just how I feel. You did alot better in the previous chapter in my opinion. You see, I think your problem is you WRITE too much. You leave alot of unnecessary stuff in. Perhaps you could scratch 1/6 of this chapter without it losing any meaning. Possibly even more. It can become a little tedious at times (again, in my opinion)

The second and third part were much better and very interesting. Watching the dragon being hatched, Charlies solo adventure at the end. Still, lack of grammar/spelling mistakes. My only problem with this story is the pacing, except for that you're doing a wonderful job in my opinion!

Alec

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Review #24, by AlecJamesCaius_The Story of Nicolae: The Tuatarian Greybeard

13th July 2015:
Hiya, back with our multi swap.

I liked this chapter much better than the previous one: in the prior one my main problem was the pacing. It was much better here, good job!
There were still a few slow parts, but that may just be me, since I'm all about fast paced stories. I'm happy that Chaflie is gay (damn that sounds weird coming from a heterosexual guy) because it just fits him so well, in my opinion. If anyone in the canon would be gay, (except Dimbledore ofc) it'd be him. He never married or dated and always said his only love were his 'dragons' which always sounded like a very lazy cover up to me.
My favorite scene was the drunkenly dancing scene, since its always fun to watch/read people getting so drunk things get out of hand. I have to be honest, at this point most main characters still aren't that differentiated to me, but I feel like you'll get to that in the next chapters. I like how they're taking classes and stuff, it really takes me back to Hogwarts and this really feels like an adequate Dragon Taming college. I hope you have the subjects they're taking all fleshed out well.

Hope you liked my thoughts!

Alec

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Review #25, by AlecJamesCaius_Oh My Darling: 2

10th July 2015:
Alec again!

I liked how the plot unraveled greatly in this chapter. All the characters are very likeable -- except for Olivia ofcourse. Ughhh what a-- ahum, unpleasant lady.
I feel like Al and Clementine are perfect for each other, and honestly, them just sitting and talking all night was too cute (*^-^*)
I like how their personalities clashed as well, and how Al was unable to understand her way of thinking.
Another thing that I loved about this story is how its told like a fairy tale. Normally I wouldn't find that remotely interesting but in this case I do, since in your short biography on the forums you expressed your love for fairy tales and Disney etc. And I just think its so cute how you incorporated that here haha.
Also, it may just be me but Clementine kind of reminds me of an Hermione that never met Harry/Ron. Idk, just food for thought??

Hope you liked my review!

Alec

Author's Response: Hello again!
Yeah, Olivia is pretty awful. I'm not quite sure how Albus put up with her for so long, to be honest! At least he's come to his senses now!
Oh, yay, I'm so happy you like Al and Clem together! I think the fact that their personalities are so different is part of what makes them so fun to write. It takes time for them to really understand one another.
The narration style for this is different from any of my other stories, so it's definitely something that I'm finding my way through as I write. I'm really pleased to hear that you enjoyed it!
Oh, that's a really interesting comparison! No one's connected her to Hermione yet, but I could definitely see that. I think (but can't promise) that Clem and Hermione will meet later on in the story, so maybe Clem will find a kindred spirit there?
Thank you so much for the swap! And for leaving two reviews! I definitely wasn't expected that, and it wasn't something you had to do, so it really means a lot.
Cassie :)


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