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Reading Reviews From Member: whitelillies
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by whitelilliesLooking Through Glass: Two: The First Mistake

7th April 2017:
Hi!

I thought I'd leave a review since you had so few of them (and this story is great).

I like the plot so far, and I'm excited to see where it goes! Stuff is about to go down. I also really like that you've included Barnabus in this story! Will Aislin perhaps make an appearance as well? That would be gold.

Also, I think your writing is fantastic! You write really good dialogue and set the scene quite well. Your characters are also quite unique, though I can see some resemblances between all of your main ones.

I'm really digging Scorcha! Scorpius seems like quite the character haha. He reminds me of Oscar Wilde or some other dandy type person. Either way, I want to know more! About everyone and how they all fit into the narrative.

Hopefully you can update soon (now that Shadowplay is completed!)

Sofia xxx

Author's Response: Yaay, thank you for reviewing!

I couldn't resist throwing Barnabus in there. It's like I'm Dr. Frankenstein and I've created this monster that I'm so fascinated with.

Having so much fun with Scorpius' character -- struggling not to indulge so much that he's completely ridiculous. We'll see, we'll see.


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Review #2, by whitelilliesPeriphery: Chapter Six

2nd April 2017:
Hello!

Oooh the tension. Wow. I don't know how you do it but it's like it's physically palpable for the reader. Well done!

Anyways, I'm really excited to see where this is headed. I LOVE Sirius/OC fanfics but often find myself left disappointed since they're usually unrealistic or cliche, and I think writers find it difficult to really pinpoint what Sirius was like as a teenager, too. However, I think you've done an excellent job here of both well-characterising him and generally keeping the story grounded.

I really like Chloe, too. I think she's a complex and interesting character, and I like how she's drawn to Sirius for an inexplicable reason, without even really knowing him. It could be that she's idealizing him, or has this idea about him in her head, but I think it's something else. I think she's just drawn to him for no good reason. And I think that's usually how it goes in life, in fact: you initially feel attracted or connected to someone without knowing why, and then you discover more about the person. On a different note, it's interesting how Chloe has quite a dichotomous personality. It's like there are these two parts to her: one that's reclusive by nature and also because of what happened to her, and another that's sick of being so alone all the time, and that sees the Marauders and their friends as a kind of possibility of what could be if she just let herself open up. So I'm excited to see how she develops as a character, too!

Finally, your writing is amazing. It's got that perfect combination of matter of fact and unusual that makes it very unique. I'm also usually not even interested in reading AUs but this story has got me hooked! It's different from Keep Calm and Carry On but in a good good good way.

Hopefully you can update soon! This story is really something else!

Sofia xxx

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for leaving a review ♥

As for how I created the ~simmering tension~, I listened to a lot of the Moonlight soundtrack and Angel Olsen, hehe. My secret recipe for angsty, breathless encounters. I do agree with you, though; Sirius is difficult to pinpoint as a teenager, and I feel like even my fic is just one of the many routes that could be taken with his character. Here, he's more sullen and less of an outright showboat than I could also argue for. But like I said, this fic is a behemoth of angst and I think the other, aforementioned traits would better suit a coming of age or humor fic.

I'm glad to hear that Chloe is generally well-received. I was nervous about verging on the "wounded bird/damsel in distress" character, between her timidity and the fact that she was so injured and shaken up in the moment she met Sirius and Marlene. But hopefully by now her other traits are coming around, and will only continue to do so as she ages. (I am seriously so excited to write twenty-something Chloe, like you have no idea.)

And you're right that she's attracted to Sirius for an inexplicable reason. Obviously he's physically attractive, but they're very different, at least at this point as teenagers. They both have strong senses of duty and responsibility, but they're manifested in different areas: Chloe in her academia and career goals, and Sirius in his desire to be a hero and fight in the war against Voldemort.

Oh gosh, this review is making me blush, seriously. I love that you said my writing is "matter of fact and unusual" because I was trying to tone down the purple prose that haunts a lot of my older writing, while still keeping a distinct Chloe narrative. And I know, a Marauders AU is so dangerous, haha! Honestly the story has been told in fic so many times--and often times very well--that I was just much more interested in how it could have gone differently, and whether their endings would be the same, had another character been introduced.

And yes, very very different from KC&CO! It's weird that I made such a big jump in tone and overall narrative but *HPFF wont let me shrug emoji so just imagine it*

Thank you again so much! ♥


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Review #3, by whitelilliesShadowplay: Nineteen: The High Priestess

9th December 2014:
Ah I think I see! I believe Kevin North is actually posessed by Nagini! Just as the snake "became" Bathilda Bagshot in The Deathly Hallows, so did it take over Kevin North's body. All the allusions to his snake-like movements and how he was limping made me think of that. But I might be wrong, because that doesn't explain the weird magic he is using. Either way it is creepy as hell girl!

Update soon! BTW I love your shoutouts, don't stop doing them hehe

xoxo
Sofia

Author's Response: Thank you so much for leaving a review! I can't tell you if your suspicions are correct, but some questions re North's weird behavior will be answered in the next couple of chapters! Thanks again, and I'm glad you're appreciating the shout-outs!

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Review #4, by whitelilliesKill Your Darlings: Dissonance & Resolve

9th December 2014:
Argh haven't even read this chapter yet but I am go glad you updated! I adore this story and everything about it. I think you have your characters down pat. Brava miss!

xoxo
Sofia

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I hope the chapter lived up to your excitement! I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying the story and the characters. It's been a process bringing them to this point, but I'm pretty darn thrilled they've made it this far. :)

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Review #5, by whitelilliesKill Your Darlings: Oil & Water

23rd October 2014:
So many things to say!

First of all, I stayed up all night reading this story. Like, literally, I went to bed at 11 am. And then I proceeded to miss school due to my exhaustion. Yes, I am pathetic. And obsessive. Oh well!

Second of all, this is the first review I've written for this story, as I wanted to be able to review when I was up to date on everything, so I haven't been able to tell you how much I ship Lilith and George! Ah, so cute. So, so cute. I ship them x1019923585755. I knew they would get together right from the start of their Hogsmeade plan: she's a bad***, doesn't want to be treated like a princess, and he's pretty bad*** himself. So they are obviously going to love each others's bad***ness until the end of time. Well, I hope. (BTW, what is their pairing name? Georlith? Hahaha that sounds horrible.)

Third of all, I totes ship Andromeda and Ted. Tedromeda forever! But right now I am annoyed at the both of them. I get that they are confused, only 17, blaa blaa blaa, but they are so predictable! Most of their interactions end up turning into fights, which usually result in Ted being all self-deprecating and asking 'Why do you love a Mudblood like me?' and Andromeda being all 'Argh, I'm leaving'. Maybe it's because I've read all the chapters in rapid succession so all their other fights are fresh in my mind, but even so. It is getting out of hand. I am not insulting this story or you- I just wish their problems would be more diverse, I guess, and not always about Ted feeling sorry for himself and Andromeda running away. Tedromeda need to get their act together, and fast -.-.

Ah Cissy. I don't know how to feel about her. I think I am annoyed at how absolutely naive she is, and how she seems to treat Andromeda as if she was a child who was younger than herself and didn't know anything about the world. Oh well, I know it won't finish well between her and Dromeda, but I still have a bit of hope for their relationship. A little. I just wonder how they will live in the same dormitory is Narcissa is dead set on not seeing Andromeda again.

So yeah! That's pretty much it. Update son! I've never read a Tedromeda fanfiction before, so I wouldn't know how yours mesures up to the other stories, but right now yours is doing pretty good in my books. It is realistic, very canon and yet surprisingly fresh. I feel like you also never forget to add in details showing the time period in which this story takes place (early 1970s if I am not mistaken). Ted's 'condition' is a very clever thing to have invented- it's a really nice addition to the story and it adds a lot to the plot. I am impressed at how creative this fanfiction is! It isn't unrealistic, and yet it still has a magic feel to it.

Have a good day lovely,
xoxo

Sofia

P.S If you don't make Tedromeda do the dirty sometime soon I will rip my hair out. It isn't fair that she did it with Rabastan, of all people, and not with Ted. It took them long enough to say that they loved each other.

Author's Response: EEP. So many things to say, indeed!

I love a good binge read, so I'm tickled pink that you devoured KYD. (Though of course not that you missed school... Heh.)

YAY, a George & Lilith shipper. I've gotten mixed feelings on that front--some yea, some nay. Though the name's a bit tricky, isn't it? Gelith? Georth? Lirge? NOTHING SOUNDS RIGHT. In any event, I'm glad that you like 'em, and yes, I think they're rather well suited. It's a bad*** palooza.

Um, yes, Andromeda and Ted are ridiculous and stupid. And you bring up a really good point: they DO tend to have the SAME BLEEPING ARGUMENT again and again. I can imagine that was frustrating to read in such a short space of time, too. -guilty face- Sometimes I wonder if perhaps I dragged this part of the story out a little too long...? Time will tell, I suppose, and I may go back and edit and try to make it less of a trial for the reader. I'm really looking forward to getting them past this place and into new territory, where there are fresh (and much bigger) problems in their way. If all goes according to plan, that will be in a collection of short stories to come. :)

Thank you for all the kind words! And thanks so much for taking the time to read and leave such a thorough review.

P.S. Eheheh. Don't worry, don't worryyy. I won't be so cruel as to keep Ted & Andromeda apart much longer.


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Review #6, by whitelilliesFineshrine: Fineshrine

19th October 2014:
this was nice :)

xoxo

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! :) ♥

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Review #7, by whitelilliesShadowplay: Eighteen: The Empress

21st September 2014:
This chapter was awesome! I can't wait for more profound interaction between Aislin and Sirius, and for Aislin to find out more info about the Order.

Haha I loved your shoutout, so random yet still on point.

Sofia xxx

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)

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Review #8, by whitelilliesShadowplay: Seventeen: Things Brought to Light

12th September 2014:
I haven't read the chapter yet but I will! It has been too long and I am very glad you updated. Don't abandon this story! It's very good, and I especially like the classic murder mystery feel of it.

Sofia xx

Author's Response: Thanks so much for stopping by! I missed the story a lot over the summer and will try to keep up with quick updates!

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Review #9, by whitelilliesThe Cold Spark: A Proposal

12th September 2014:
Hey!

Still haven't read the chapter, but I wanted to tell you how awesome this story is. Your characterization is pretty spot on and the story flows well. Check out for spelling mistakes, though.

I hope you update soon! You desrve more reviews than you have!

Sofia

Author's Response: Hi Sofia! Thank you for the review! I'm so very glad you like it and I love getting reviews even if there isn't many yet! The next update will be soon I promise!

Thank you for reading!


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Review #10, by whitelilliesThe Cold Spark: A Christmas Spent In Good Company

6th September 2014:
I actually think this is written pretty well! A few minor spelling mistakes that you might want to check out. But overall, this story is interesting and although preditable, it is in a good way. Not cliche at all, and realistic. I will now go read the rest then :)

Sofia xx

Author's Response: Thank you for reading! I certainly appreciate you taking the time to review :) I'm glad you're enjoying it so far!

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