So much content here =) This chapter is one of those you must read more than once to apprehend everything that it contains. The power struggles and loyalty twists make the story so delightfully unpredictable that I just feel like continue reading.
And tut-tut, you still write all ready instead of already =P Report Review
If there is something that must be difficult is to write a character which got older. Getting the base personality with the things he had time to mature is hard, but I like the way you got it with Malfoy. I could imagine perfectly a older Malfoy acting like that. And word duels are always fun =) Congrats on yet another fantastic chapter. Report Review
Finally I decided to continue reading =D It's as good as I remembered it to be. All the mystery surrounding the story really pulls your creativity to a maximum and allows room for the reader to have his own guesses as well. And this last scene... everything points to the figure being Snape ?triple crossing? people, so I choose to believe the figure is someone else like Malfoy! Well, reviewing wastes perfect reading time, going to keep reading ;) Report Review
Yay! Finally I'm reviewing. Did ever tell you how I love your writing? You seem to give life to everything you try, be it Marauders or adult Trio. I can't wait to read about those years that passed after Hogwarts. I'm guessing that there's a lot of hints hidden in this chapter... Your characterization is still one of your greatest strengths, as well as description. I'll be reading now. This will certainly entertain me while Edge of Light is on hold =PAuthor's Response: Thanks, Drommen. Have I ever told you how I love your reviews? Beccause I do :) Thanks for the great compliments and encouragement and yes, there are lots of hints here but in previous chapters as well....have you been reading closely? :D Report Review
Hey. Nice chapter. I like fics that go for alternative settings to the marauder/trio era. You have a very good (and very readable) style as well. Good job!Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, and thank you so much for reviewing :) I hope you like the rest of the story! Report Review
Oh, allies. That's good. In the end this is kind of a cliff hanger. I do hope you keep writing this and would bery much appreciate if you added email@example.com to your mailing list. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Well, Harry does need someone, as his chances of defeating the Dark Lord, or even remaining alive are pretty slim at the moment. I do like to leave something in suspense, and unanswered question or something. I would be honoured to add you to the mailing list (or in the case of this fic create a new mailing list....yay) and I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to leave so many wonderful reviews. Report Review
Poor Harry. I don't see any reason for people not reading this chapter other than not knowing that it's there. To me, it's as great as the others. Beautiful descriptions, intelligent dialogue and original premise. Quite a good combination, if you are not tired of hearing the same things over and over again. Now, for the other chapter =)Author's Response: Thank you, it is quite a relief to hear you say that. Whenever I post a chapter I always worry frantically about whether or not people will like it, and it is difficult to know when there don't appear to be many people reading. I am very pleased, and rather flattered to know you are still enjoying it as much. Thank you again. Report Review
Ohh... I guess one of my guesses was right =) I like to see an alternative use to a timeturner, besides the usual "go back and save the past".
And what you said about everyone who knew Harry Potter being dead. That's quite a shock.
You seem to make a particular sp mistake often. It's not "all ready", but "already". Other than that, it's quite flawless =) Author's Response: Yep, one of your guesses was right :D I have always wanted to use a timeturner, as I feel they have great potential to further a story, but was put off by the fact that they sometimes seem so overused. I had hoped this was different enough to make a slightly more original plotline. As to everyone Harry knew being dead...well, you only have Snape's word for that at the moment, and there may be a surprise or two in later chapters. But yes, for the most part they are dead. I have always thought Voldemort would be pretty vindictive about that sort of thing. Thank you for all your comments, they are very much appreciated. Report Review
Great mysterious atmosphere that you have created. I wonder where Harry is. Future? Past? Some kind of parallel world? And those women and Dementors... all mysterious, and your writing style contributes to it.
Once again, I'd like to say that your ocasional a bit more humourous sentence helps the flow of the story greatly. I'll be reading the rest now!Author's Response: I tried to create as many possibilities as I could for where Harry could be, in the hope that it owuld make the next chapter less obvious as to what was coming. Sometimes I think the truth is just screaming out nevertheless though, and it is nice to know that there is a bit of mystery in the chapter, as it can be difficult to tell whether or not there actually is when you know what is happening. Thank you for the lovely review :) Report Review
I know I said I'd only review one or two chapters, but since you have few reviews for these chapters and I'm enjoying it greatly, I'll review from here to the last.
First, about the plot. You have created a most fascinating plot from the start as I hadn't seen in a "whole year fic" for some time. Your choice of words and hints of humor from time to time give the story a nice flow that keeps the reader, well... reading. =)
The only negative thing I can see is that sometimes one or two paragraphs can be confusing, but I gladly overlook that for the amazing plot and characterization. Good job!Author's Response: Thank you very much for taking the time to read, and review. It is very kind of you to do so, especially since I wasn't expecting it....it is a wonderful surprise. I am very pleased you are enjoying the plot thus far, as the whole thing has taken alot of working to get it to a stage where I think it will work to achieve the ending I want. It is also very relieveing to know that the hints of humour are being picked up on, as they are supposed to be there to help distract from what can be a very heavy plot line, and make it more readable. I shall have to take a look to see if I can find and correct the confusing paragraphs, and I do have a tendancy to create overly long sentences. Thank you again for the lovely review, your thoughts and comments are very helpful :) Report Review
Finally! I'm glad you updated. This chapter is full of information that will be extremely relevant to the future, so it makes the reader read it more than once. Cute ending =) very romantic. Maybe too good to be true? Does Eliot have a nasty secret?Author's Response: You people are very suspecious of the nice boy... what could possibly go wrong...?? Well let's just say that Freya has shared more than Eliot has... and that is all I am going to say on that matter... I am glad you found the chapter "usefull"--- Thanks for keeping up with the story! Report Review
See? You are able to make good confrontation dialogues, although this is a bit calmer than the "man at the ministry vs regulus" one. This one feels a lot more natural and very in character. Good job!Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad you thought I improved! *grins insanely* Thanks for the review! =) Report Review
Better late than never I guess....
To be original, once again you have a very good chapter here. I specialy liked the idea of Regulus not seeing what he thought that he had done wrong, but reality from another perspective. (And what a nice touch, explaining how Kreacher turned mental =) )Author's Response: Jorge! Wow, what an unexpected surprise! Thanks for the review, it made me really happy! Glad you liked this chapter, and the bit with Kreacher. =) Report Review
This is kind of... sad. Poor Sirius; no hugs for that many years. But to contrast, the quality of the chapter makes me happy =) It may have taken two months to write, but I like it very much. That scene with the dog..... it was creepy. I like to see you can handle this kind of situations without making it too soft.Author's Response: lol..I'm going to take "creepy" as a good thing. I didn't want that scene to be overdone or as cruel as it actual was...they were silly kids and only now, as Sirius has grown some, does he realize exactly how horrible that was. I think it ties well to his later animagus form and explains a bit more about him. Thanks so much for staying with me! Report Review
Ok...some weeks late, but I'm finally reviewing! This story is awesome. When I read your excerpt (sp?) I was a bit worried it would be all out humour. I like humour but it wasn't what I had in mind. But this looks down on my expectations. I think it's a brilliant mixture of genres. Thanks for doing this challenge!Author's Response: Not to worry! I'm so pleased that it lived up to your expectations-- that's what was important! Luna Report Review
It took some time to update, but it was more than worth the wait! This chapter filled my thirst for Sirius/Cat conversation while keeping me wanting more. You've got some great dialogue here, while immersing the reader in the story. Sometimes I kinda felt like I was standing next to them listening what they said =) I'm really glad you chose to keep writing this story, because it's worth every bit of the server it uses.Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Ok... I'm finally reviewing. Sorry for taking so long. Now, for the review.
This is quite the chapter. Regulus turns to the good side, (I particularly liked the part of the "resignation") and starts acting on Voldy's back. I can't wait to see the way he handles the potion/inferius stuff.
No remarks this time, the chapter is quite flawless, at least in my opinion. Good luck with the next one!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I know this chapter was mostly "filler" without much real action or anything, but I'm glad you liked it anyway. =) I recently submitted chapter 12, so look out for it! Report Review
Ok.. this time I'll get this right! I won't higlight any parts of this chapter that I particularly liked because I feel the true value of it is as a whole. The entire Voldemort scene is described in your usual style (this is a very good thing!) so I'd just be repeating the praise from former reviews.
I was a bit confused about the reason the Portkey was made every evening and only this time it was used.
Apart from that.... it's another excellent chapter. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you liked it, I was starting to get worried, lol. About the Portkey being made every evening - Mrs. Cole just hadn't felt like drinking it any other evening. I guess that's a little unclear... Please let me know if there's a way you think I can edit it to show that better... thanks again for the review! Report Review
Now it's way more plausible than before. I do think that there is still something that could be improved. Maybe if you had some kind of a threat like "If i find out you've been setting a Portkey without authorization I will have you sent to Azkaban!" It's just a suggestion; you can leave it like this. It is correct. I just think the supervisor is still a bit too soft on Regulus. Author's Response: yes... i suppose you're right as usual. i have no idea why yelling at people is so hard for me to write, it's just... aagrh... i don't know. anyway, yes, i will fix it. eventually. thanks again for all your help! Report Review
Oh... I wonder who that woman is... and poor Regulus (or evil Regulus) was caught by his supervisor.
I like the way you made Regulus, afraid of torture and death can only think of losing the graces of his father. It really shows how conditioning his childhood was.
My only "complaint" about this chapter is that I think his supervisor takes things too lightly. It's like "Oh you're setting unauthorized Portkeys....You'll have to suffer the terrible wrath of the hearing! Now you can go home or run away or something like that. See ya!"~
If this is already in the terror reign of Lord Voldemort, don't you think this would be a much more serious offense? Even Moody said that it was more than his life's worth to set unauthorized Portkeys.
Other than that, it's quite flawless and enjoyable. Keep writing!Author's Response: Yeah, you're right, I really should go back and change that... thanks so much for pointing that out! I guess I'm not experienced enough at yelling at people to be able to write it well, lol. =) Maybe I'll just change it so that Regulus has put the book back already, and the supervisor just sees he's in somewhere he shouldn't be, but doesn't know he's actually done anything... that way I wouldn't have to change the whole entire chapter - obviously it's important for Regulus to be able to leave when he does, so that he encounters the old woman... anyway thanks so much for reviewing, and pointing that out! =) Report Review
I see you found a more original way to bring magic to America than to kill some poor child's parents and send her to Hogwarts. This has a lot of potential, since you have few boundaries. I look forward to see what you come up with. Wonder why his name is different on the letter....Author's Response: Thank you...I did not want to make this typical of anything out there for this genre. I wanted to make my own series within the world. Create something new and yet, plausible as though these things may have happened in the same world as HP. I'm glad you like it and I hope you stick around. Report Review
Ahah! Really nice prank! This chapter has some great dialogue between Sirius and Narcissa. The characters are really developing, instead of being bidimensional figures that make things happen - a mistake that so far you have never made. Descriptions, the bane of many existences, are as strong as usual.
My only remark is that I found the conversation between Cat and Sirius a bit short. Maybe it could be developed more? Anyway, I'm really glad you kept writing. (This is the part I turn into a fanatic teenager with too much coffee in his veins.) Please upd8 soon! I'll stop breathing if you don't!!! I mean it!!!Author's Response: Thanks. I was actually surprised how well they played off each other but was glad it turned out so well. I agree about the conversation with Cat...I planned to develop this more but had struggled so much I gave up and just posted the chapter....leave it to you to call me on it :) I may still go back but the next chapter is only the two of them swapping stories so I may wait to see if that flushes things out before I try and rewrite...I'd love to hear your opinion on it when the next chapter gets up and if you still think I need to add more to this one. Anyway, I'll stop rambling but I do want to say thank you ever so much for everything you've done to help me get through this. You've been absolutely wonderful Report Review
Seriously.... sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm on a fan fiction site. This has an unusual literary quality, and feels like a story of its own. If not by some references, such as Dumbledore, this could be taken as an original fiction; a good one.
I liked the way Arthur loathed the idea of an assistant and ended up with one, and from chapter one I've picked a few things that make me want to keep reading to find out. This time, it's the reason why Ruthven went to Paris. I hope you keep the updating rate, because so far you're doing great!Author's Response: Thanks, hon :) I'm really falling for Arthur, and maybe that's why I am so keen on writing this! Report Review
Oh my God... is Voldemort setting a trap for Muggles? Like, someone wants a drink and ends up in the middle of Death Eaters thirsty for blood? Anyway, Voldemort's way of entering houses is disturbing. One can't even trust a simple fireplace. You're an excellent writer, and I expect you to update in a near future! Do PM me when you do. I'll be glad to read and review it!Author's Response: Hmm... suppose you'll just have to wait and see... *cackles evilly* Anyway, I'm so glad you liked this story, thanks so much for taking the time to write such wonderful reviews for each chapter. You're the first person to really be critical of everything I do, and I really appreciate that! I'll definitely PM you when the next chapters out. Sorry I'm being so slow with my reviews of yours! Report Review
I don't think Voldemort is very sarcastic. In my opinion he would hex the hell out of Regulus for questioning him like that and then, if he felt generous, he would explain things to him. Otherwise, I believe you characterized him and his "organization" extraordinarily. Another thing I enjoy is that you avoid a mistake made by many people: Voldemort using contractions in his speech. Can't wait to see what's next!Author's Response: Sorry you didn't like my version of Voldemort as much - but I really don't think he would have gone as far as torturing a needed recruit like Regulus before he had even joined the Death Eaters. Voldemort can be pretty charming when he needs to, like when he was trying to get things from that Hepzibah lady, and I think that if he was trying to get someone to join his followers, he would wait until they were already bound to him before starting the torture. More importantly, I don't think Regulus would have agreed to join had he seen this cruelty beforehand. That's also why I had him working somewhat at a distance - so he could be sheltered to an extent, at least for a while, before realizing exactly how horrible the Death Eaters were. Thanks for your review! Report Review
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