Reading Reviews From Member: LovlyRita
293 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LovlyRitaSpeed Dating Entry - Lonely Moonlit Sonnet : Lonely Moonlit Sonnet

24th February 2014:
Hi Mike! I've come to leave you a review on your story! Well, I liked this, it was really a nice story that you wrote in such a short amount of time. I love that you chose to write about Remus and Sirius because they are probably my favorite slash pairing, so I enjoyed seeing that.

His pain was so sad here, you could really see Remus struggling, trying to really grapple with what had happened and it was completely believable that he would be struggling with something like this, of course he would. I liked the visuals that you used, of him staring at the floorboards and such. I think it was such a devastatingly sad story, which you had warned me that it would be.

And truly, you feel how absolutely alone Remus is as he goes into his transformation and doesn't want to be alone, would give anything for those times gone past when he could change and have his friends beside him. It's really heartbreaking and you did a good job portraying that.

But quickly I want to talk about you as a writer and how much you have improved since the last time I read your work which was, admittedly, a while ago. It has matured so much. Your descriptions are SO much more vivid than they used to be. When you said at the beginning that the weather was "Drowsy" I just LOVED that, it was a perfect description. You've really done a magnificent job of explaining his feelings and thoughts, and your ideas are laid out so well. It is SUCH an improvement. And more than that, I think you understand interpersonal relationships better than you used to, which of course just comes with growing up and making more friends and stuff, but you really have improved so. SO much in the last few years. Sincerely, this is a great piece of work and I am excited to see the things that you do when you're not under the time constraints of a day and can really play with your words. Well done Mike!! :)

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Review #2, by LovlyRitaJust Rose: Epilogue

23rd February 2014:
Ok i'm finally here to leave my last review for this story!

first of all I read most of it in one sitting so you'll have to excuse me for forgetting some of the smaller details. But first and foremost, I knew you were going to kill...omg what was his name. I knew you were gonna kill him. Because you told me that you killed someone in this story, and I figured it couldn't have been any of the cousins or anything so the whole story i was looking for the one expendable character, and I figured midway through that it must be Boris. Oh that's his name. lol. anyway, so I wasn't TOO shocked when that happened because I knew death had to be somewhere. But it was still sad because he seemed nice when he wasn't all...not nice. I'm not feeling particularly well spoken today leave me alone.

But yeah so there's that. What else happened. To be honest, I was actually shocked that she did not end up with Scorpius at the end of this. Not shocked in a bad way, it was just something that was so different, and that's why I loved it! I mean obviously he was a bit of an odd duck, but that's usually the way these stories go. I LOVE that she didn't end up with him. It was just genius, and original, and perfect.

I also like that they ended up friends, and that she found a different hot guy to attach herself to, while still maintaining her identity. It's really great.

I really ended up liking most of the cousins too. Molly and Rose's relationship was really cool, and I liked that she didn't end up at odds with Victoire. It was also crazy to have Teddy cheat with Dominique, but you did a great job of basically showing that their family was the most important thing above everything else. I did feel a litle bad for Teddy which probably isn't supposed to be something you're supposed to feel, given what he did. But the thing was, he really did care for Victoire and you could tell that in those chapters when Rose went to visit them. And then could see that Teddy grew up with these people and all I could think is that he just lost basically all the family that he had. So I just felt bad for him, even though he ended up being a little bit of a villain. Honey badger dont' care.

anyway, I ended up really liking the character of Rose, even though I wasn't sure if I would in the beginning. I like how important family ended up being to her, except for of course Roxanne, who was just a nasty character. I also enjoyed all the glimpses of her extended family, but I just spent most of the story wanting to giving her a huge hug and some tea. and some biscuits, because that seems to be very important.

But the one thing I really liked about this was your writing style. I was completely engaged the entire story, I was so happy that I didn't have to wait for updates and I could just click the next button and go on to the next chapter. That was brilliant haha. i felt like I was in Rose's head the whole time, when she was embarassed I was certainly embarrassed for her, and I was rooting for her the entire time. I wanted everything to work out for the best for her, and I think it did.

It's not a cookie cutter story for her, and I think you were so creative in your portrayals of some of these characters, I just can't get over it. I loved your Draco Malfoy, I love how odd Scorpius was, I loved Hermione and Ron and their interactions with their daughter, and I love that she leaned on her grandmother for support. I loved the side plot with France and Teddy/Victoire, it just seemed so well planned and I'm just rambling now but...

I just love the whole thing and I'm glad I got the chance to read it, even if it was really late You're a really gifted writer and an excellent story teller, and I look forward to reading more from you, so get motivated and WRITE lady. You're the best I love you, keep being amazing, congratulations on finishing this story like a year ago xx

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Review #3, by LovlyRitaLiving in a Sea of Death: So this is how it begins.

23rd February 2014:
hi there :)

I was looking through and I saw your story and instantly knew I had to click on it! I also have a story about the zombie apocalypse in the wizarding world! I hadn't seen another since mine, so I really wanted to take a peek and see how you handled it!

first of all, you shouldn't be afraid to use your own ideas! It's cool to get inspired by a book series but make sure you do your own thing! I know from experience it's so much fun to play in the world of zombies!

I like the way you've introduced the problem into the UK, with someone getting infected, almost like a virus or something, and the world was caught unaware. That is really neat, and definitely an effective way to spread something like this. I also liked the way you make normal wizarding spells not work against them. Very nice touch!

One thing I'd like to see is a little bit more about how Albus is feeling. It seems like he's pretty much unaffected until the very end when he sees the zombies. Like, they infected his school, people he knew died, how did that make him feel? He seems to have a lot of pent up aggression toward his father too, maybe because his father is famous, for some reason? I just get this feeling because of the way you've said "Heard of him? Thought so" and "don't think expelliarmus will work this time." He just seems to be really angry but I'm not sure why. I hope maybe you'll go into that in future chapters!

But yeah, I don't really get a sense of fear from Albus, or really that a lot of things are wrong until the very end of the chapter, and it would be nice to get a little insight into what he's thinking with that.

You have a lot of really nice dialogue here which is awesome because, especially with Lily, you can see her fear and the urgency of the situation.

Make sure you're careful of the tenses that you're using while writing. For example, you write this: "James also rushed in, looking like he is about to faint." You want to make sure all your tenses match, and since most of this is in past tense, you might want to say "was" rather than "is"

But yeah, I think this is a really nice start and I am interested to see where you are taking it! I'm gonna favorite it so I can be alerted to future updates! Writing about zombies can be daunting and a little scary - believe me I know :P But it can also be so fun, so I look forward to seeing all your ideas!! xx

Author's Response: Thanks for all the help!

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Review #4, by LovlyRitaJust Rose: Disillusioned

14th February 2014:
Wow um ok. So that was a bombshell in the last chapter, can quite honestly say I did NOT see that coming and I totally see why you won a Dobby for that. RANDOM. SO AWESOME. Seriously. That was like masterful, the way you dropped that detail in. Holy crap. Will take a while to recover from that one :P

I don't even know what to say in this review right now, so in shock from the last chapter.

I think it's interesting how Rose keeps returning to Scorpius one way or another. She must find something in him, even if she doesnt' know what it is exactly. It's nice to see them getting a bit closer though. I like it, even if Scorpius is still a bit weird hahaha. Well more than a bit. But he's funny, I like him.

you were right about this, there is some major major dramz here, but it's done so well!!

This is gonna be a short one because I...I need to keep going :P

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Review #5, by LovlyRitaJust Rose: Closure

14th February 2014:
Ok this is gonna be a relatively short one 'cause I really want to keep reading BUT -

This whole thing with Teddy has been so cringe hahaha. It's exactly what I was fearing but the thing is, I'm glad she did it. She can move on now, and really, his reaction was so great. I love Teddy because he supports her and wants to continue being her friend even after she gives her confession. And it's so sad because she's spent so many years in all this pain because she loved him so much, and now he knows and things can get back to normal.

I am glad that she stayed though, and didn't leave to keep things awkward. She stayed, and she had that whole awkward can can thing which was funny, and the wine tasting scene which is pretty much exactly what happens when anyone goes wine tasting ever. It's awkard but more importantly it is REAL. It is such a very...stark depiction of real life. It never goes smoothly, it's never to plan, and I think this really displays that in such a nice way. I feel bad for Rose but I do hope she's building to something happy.

Also, this deal with Lockhart I find to be really interesting.I haven't forgotten a few chapters ago, Hermione Rose to get Lockhart's signature, what on earth was that all about??

Another thing that worries me is that I know this story won a dobby for best plot twist and I am completely obsessed with wondering what exactly it is you have done for this to have that win. I'm scared, not gonna lie.

Ok! Onward!! :)

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Review #6, by LovlyRitaJust Rose: It's Not Me, It's You

14th February 2014:
Ok, after 5 I am back with most likely a much shorter review hahaha.

Poor Boris! I like him just a smidgeon more now, but what a total jerk! Not fixing his marriage because his wife thinks he's having an affair when he's not! And it puts Rose in such an awkward position. lame.

Ok, I just cannot figure Scorpius out. He is literally like...the most awkward human being on the face of this planet. And it makes me feel bad because I know people like him...hell I'm pretty sure there were aspects of my personality in high school that were very much like him, when you FINALLY get the person you've been waiting for, only to have it blow up in your face. But he's like...making all the common relationship mistakes and making them SO QUICKLY. But in his mind he probably really does think that he loves Rose. he's waited so long for her, stalking her as such, and was probably so happy that she was finally agreeing to being his girlfriend.

Which makes me wonder why she agreed in the first place? Actually no that's a lie, i know why she agreed. The same thing happened with me and my husband..I didn't want to date him, he asked, we were in an awkward situation, and I ended up saying yes. And now we're married so...there ya go.

And then when she broke up with him and he cried and even though it was ridiculous, by heart just broke for him because he really is so...lonely. He just wanted SOMEBODY and he goes about it in absolutely all the wrong ways, and it's just heart breaking. Poor thing, poor awkward thing. I totally get why Rose did what she did. I just feel bad for both of them. I have feelings, Marina, and you are shattering them.

also, Rose with her family was so funny. I think it's a unique take on it because most of the time they are all depicted as getting along, everything's just great, and you can see that this clearly isn't the case, and is probably more indicative of what actual family would be like!

Well done, still loving this story, still reading because honestly, what else am I supposed to do on Friday night when you aren't here and I'm procrastinating writing Brain Activity? Nothing? damn right, nothing. :)

Loves you

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Review #7, by LovlyRitaJust Rose: Smarmy Smiles

14th February 2014:
I know I said that I was going to leave a review every 5 but look at me, here i am at every 10. Mostly because I'm lazy but shut up.

Ok so this story has progressed so much since the last time I reviewed. And there are so many things that I want to comment on but I can't remember all of them and that's sad.

Well, point one: your writing has improved ten fold over the first chapter. The fluency of it, your word choice, you've really hit the groove as far as writing in first person in comedy and that's so so hard to do. It reads like some of my favorite books with a first person narrator. And I always admire someone who can walk this line because it can so easily veer off into the ridiculous territory, and quickly, but yours NEVER does. It's on point, it's funny, heart warming, and just perfect.

Ok so I just wanted to say that your story definitely has evoked the...oh my god please don't do that, I can't bear to see you embarassed..empathetic reaction. Every time she was around Teddy that's the way i felt. Oh no no no gurl, don't do that, you have to move on. Haha it was kind of ridiculous for me. That whole scene when they were making the cake a few chapters ago I was just poor thing.

Ok so this whole thing with Scorpius and the shrine...and him living in the shrieking shack, I think I told you that I had something so similar in one of my stories! It was in the shrieking shack and it was a shrine to Rose, but it wasn't Scorpius who made it. But still, it made me laugh because I think we might be mind twins or something. But if we're mind twins I think you're the stronger twin, and I'm just the pathetic under achieving twin that stands under the shadow of the better twin, but like we're still twins so we're gorgeous. anyway.

One thing I love is how well developed all these characters are. you really get a good sense of all of them, of course especially Rose, but I must admit that even this far into the story I feel like there is so much we don't know. Especially about Scorpius and what happened to his family, and why he's such a creeper! Because he is most definitely a creeper and I can't wait to find out more about that. Yo've done such a good job of building intrigue!

One of the other things I generally love about it is the way that you start each chapter. They never start specifically following the events of the chapter before it and I actually really like it. It would save my butt a LOT if I could learn to write like that. But all my stories tend to end one chapter and then go right into the next. I think yours is a lot cleaner, and it also gives the characters kind of...time to reflect on whatever it was that happened at the end of the last chapter, so you don't always get 100% of whatever their immediate reaction was, and I like that a lot.

I don't like Boris and I'm still confused as to whether or not Rose actually got a promotion or not...and I think she's a little confused too.

Another thing that I love is what a tight knit group of friends she seems to have. like when she had a hard day, she went to the pub early to have a drink and wait and, even though that scene ended in disaster for her, it's great because she seems to have a really solid support system, and I'm not even going to be a little bit shy about telling you how unbelievably jealous I am of it. I'm sitting here reading about your characters and their interactions thinking, God I wish I had that in my life. Maybe that's what normal people think about romance and such but for me, nope .It's her friendships. I want a Molly in my life. Will you be my Molly? :P

Ummm let's see what else, what else, OH, the fact that biscuits are mentioned in every single chapter. That's fun and a nice theme, especially since I love biscuits and now I want some, so you know, thanks a lot for THAT unneeded development in my life...

OH I know. the developments with her family, the fact that Hermione bought the Daily Prophet, I absolutely loved that!! It would be something that she would do, especially if she thought her family was threatened in some way by the newspaper, what an interesting way to keep them all out of the news. Because you know, you just know that there are some kind of weird Wizard papparazzi that would follow them around. And like, Rose was born in 2006 right? So we're looking at like...ok so she's 18 in the year 2014 which we're in now, and you know the paps have been crazy for the last 5 years or so, so like...Hermione'd be like Victoria Beckham with her kids, minus the like super sour look on her face all the time, and everyone would want a view of those kids. And Harry's too. Anyway, sorry got off track there, long story short is that I thought that was a really cool idea, and I don't think I'd want to make Hermione mad either. OH and the whole thing with her drinking so much that she was unable to make a cake at the going away thing. Very interesting. Seriously I have the absolute softest spot in my heart for middle aged Hermione and Ron. It is absolutely my most favorite thing ever. And you've done it so well here.

And old Molly!! Another soft spot for me. And Hugo, with his hung over self a few chapters ago. I love Hugo, he's one of my favorite to write when I do, and I do enjoy your Hugo a lot.

But more than anything else, I am just really super looking forward to seeing how this relationship between Rose and Scorpius is going to progress...or regress...or what have you. Because he's so delightfully awkward and I just think he's so well written, and you never betray his characterization at all, no matter what happens he is just weird, creepy, stalkery scorpius and I can't wait to see how this character, and the character of Rose, develops.

Well, this is officially my longest review ever. Maybe leaving 10 chapters in between reviews is too much. Only 140 character remaining now, CAN I USE THEM ALL :P


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Review #8, by LovlyRitaJust Rose: Goodbye Kisses

13th February 2014:

Marina, I know this is like a huge story of yours and i've heard so much about it so I'm really excited to be able to read and review it.

First of all, the thing that sticks out to me is that Rose is just so funny! Some of the things she's says I'm I should have written them down, there were a few things earlier that were just brilliant that had me cracking a smile.

Scorpius is kind of a creeper. A few chapters ago when he gave Rose that figurine of her parents like, that was too funny! And creepy. Who does that?

I love how uncomfortable Rose is around Teddy, it's absolutely perfect. you've made her really likable, although I do sort of feel sorry for Scorpius because he is trying so hard.

Also, I'm such a sucker for Ron and Hermione as adults. That's probably pretty evident given my author's page but they are my favorites. Anything that portrays adult characters tend to be my very favorite things to read, and I think you've done a brilliant job here with he parents.

But most of all i like this because it's unique and it's not your stereotypical first person, woe is me kind of thing. It's so good and smooth. The other thing I noticed is you can really tell how your writing has improved from chapter to chapter, and even now upon reading your new things. I sense that there are only good things to come from this story so I can't wait to keep reading it!!

Loves you

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Review #9, by LovlyRitaAtlas Air: Front Page News

12th February 2014:
Alright then! YAY another chapter.

so let's see here, I LOVE the dynamic you've set up between Victoire and Teddy vs Victoire and Rob. you should know that even though his name is Robin, I'm still picturing Robb Stark in my head. Do with that what you will. Actually now I'm also picturing Robin Gibb. You know, like The Bee Gees? It's like a weird cross between both of them. That's weird isn't it. I shouldn't talk sometimes.

Anyway, I love that victoire has reservations about going at first, she seems completely reasonable, but it makes sense that Teddy would want to go, to do this to make both of their careers. I think it's really interesting that you chose poachers as the main subject for their journalistic endeavor. It's something you don't really think about for wizards to be concerned about. I think it's a really unique and interesting story, and I kind of like that wizards and the community at large seem to care about animals in the same ways that muggles do.

to be honest, I'm interested to see how you work in Magic here, because so far it's been relatively...sparse in the magic department, which is TOTALLY fine - I tend to write like that as well. But I'm interested to see if there is anything they can do in Africa as far as magic that maybe muggles can't. I'm not really sure I guess they are only there to report on it, not actually do anything. That being said, Victoire HAD to have done something to get thrown in that cell in the prologue, amirite? :P

hmm what else...I like Victoire and Rob, and I can see that going south eventually. I think his concern is warranted, and it kind of seems like Victoire has one foot in the relationship and one foot out. It seems like she wants to marry this guy and have her happiness and what have you, but mostly it seems like she's leaning on her other foot out, more determined to do her job, to see the world, to make a difference. That might have been a lot of assumptions that I made about a character in just one chapter but it's just the way I feel damn it!

I am also wondering if some of the things Rob said to Victoire were things that people actually said to you before you went to Africa? About it being super dangerous and such, I bet someone probably did say something like that to you at one point. Buuut anyway.

Also I loved the opening paragraph of the chapter, when she's trying to write something about Sydney and then keeps changing the words around. OMG I write like that so much, it was very relatable and something that I could see her doing. Or me dong. like I'm doing right now. Actually I'm just tired right now so I'ma stop.

LOVE YOU, write more. I'll race you. let's go.

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Review #10, by LovlyRitaAtlas Air: Prologue

12th February 2014:
Well hello my darling!! I am here to leave you a review on what promises to be an AMAZING story!

Ok first of all, can I just say that the fact that you have been to Africa makes your descriptions and your imagery THAT much more potent?? It's so believable because you've SEEN it. Maybe not the inside of a cell (I hope not the inside of a cell :P Unless there's something you're keeping from me?) but seriously. I can tell this is already going to be a story rich in detail and I seriously cannot wait!

Ok, to content. I love that you've opened it with a letter! How intriguing, and a bit creepy too. Because of the line with her writing it in the dirty from her fingernails. That's messed up :P But it really does such a very fabulous job of showing what a dire situation she is in with just ONE LINE. Fabulous work there!

And then her discussion with Teddy, at first I thought he was in a cell next to her, but when I realized he wasn't I was like wha!! I am so intrigued as to the events that lead up to this situation, and I am completely sure that you will get there in all due time :P

And can I just say that I am fangirling all over the place for your action?? What a great action writer you are! It's kind of a sin against humanity that I've never really read a lot of your work, but I think your action here is so detailed and so quick. You can just feel her terror as she's running away, and doesn't even know where she's going!

ok so here's something that I loved and you're probably going to be like um ok? That's a weird thing to love? But I LOVED how you introduced this new diabolical character into the fold, with a simple "Argh" and the following sentence. I admire it so much because I personally always struggle with ways to transition to a new thing with action, how to introduce something in a frenzied way without using the word "suddenly.. blah blah blah" so I loved that so much! Very well done, I am going to have to remember some of these tricks!

Ok other things, I loved your description of her cracked lips, itchy red eyes, etc. I'm always a sucker for things that happen on the body, although I must admit that itchy red orbs does has a ring to it, a little disappointed you chose not to go in that direction :P

Overall I really enjoyed it, and that's saying something because sometimes I find it really difficult to enjoy fanfiction nowadays but this I think is super unique and something that I could really get in to. So you should definitely keep writing :) Your writing style is so fluid and intriguing, I just loved this! WRITE MORE MARINA. MORE. WRITE MORE. :D hahaha. Just kidding. But only a little bit.

NOTE: I do understand there's another chapter. Don't judge me. I'm trying to be supportive.

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Review #11, by LovlyRitaIn Sickness And In Health: Perseverance

9th September 2013:
Hello there :)

I just finished reading your story on my kindle so I thought I'd just post a review here on the last chapter since it's kind of hard to read and review as you go, unfortunately.

Since I read it on a kindle I feel like I have a whole new perspective lol. It was like settling down to read a novel, it was in the same font and format as I read actual novels in so it made it seem more..official for some reason :P

Before I get to the story itself I thought I'd just tell you a few things that I noticed in formatting. I felt like you did a great job with the paragraphs, it was easy to read and everything. The only way I noticed that it was different from a regular novel is because a lot of times author's don't use all caps and multiple punctuation marks to denote emotion, it's more like italics. That's the only thing I noticed during reading this that drew me out of the fact that it wasn't an actual novel and that I was reading fan fiction. But that's not a criticism - I personally don't mind that you've done that in your story, it's just one of the things that drew me out of it when I was reading on a kindle. I wouldn't have even thought about it if I'd been reading it on the computer. :)

Ok, now to the story itself. I like this concept of a curse causing all kinds of physiological issues. One of my favorite things to read in fanfiction is magical diseases or even muggle diseases and their effects on the magical population. As a health professional myself, I think it's really interesting to play with the different things that can be healed and can't be, so I think that you took a really unique approach here.

For the most part, your explanations were medically sound, although the thought of healing muscles causing bruising on the skin is a bit of a stretch, but who am I to judge because this is magic, and not all magical healing conforms to muggle standards :P

I really liked the way you described the way Hermione first woke up. Being in a coma for 2 months would definitely be shocking to find out, but I do like the hesitation you wrote as she first starts walking. The other thing I liked that you did was the disgust at the situation Hermione finds herself in. She goes downstairs, sees Malfoy, and of course there's that uncomfortable confrontation. But I like the way she tells him that he looks terrible and then he kind of softens and tells her that she looks the same basically. I really liked that because I think it shows that deep down, Malfoy is just as scared and unsettled at their predicament as she is, and though he is far from anything that could be considered caring or compassionate, it was still kind of a...we're in this together kind of thing. So I liked that a lot.

It must be so hard for them, I really feel for them as the healer kind of comes and tells them that they have no idea what kind of curse they were struck with, and that they have to stay in this quarantine together. You can see that they are both unsettled about this, which was good.

The bit with the TV made me laugh because it almost seemed like Draco thought that Hermione was performing some kind of evil torturing magic, putting little people in the box. That made me laugh and smile, and it's especially interesting given that not long ago Draco was trying as hard as he could to become evil. But I thought that was and funny and quirky exchange.

As far as broad grammar goes, your story was well written. The only thing I saw was occasionally you used "your" instead of "you're" but that's just a quick fix :)

Overall the basis of getting Hermione and Draco together seems to be a morbid twist on what a lot of other stories seem to do, which is refreshing. I do have a soft spot in my heart for Dramione, though I know a lot of people tend to hate on it. I like them together though, so I enjoyed checking this story out quite a bit!

I'm glad that you answered first when I asked for a volunteer! Thanks for a good read :)

Author's Response: Wow! What a review!! Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this :)

I have had some comments when it comes to the capitals about it ruining the experience in a way, so if it is looking better without it on a kindle I may look into changing it. I'm sure if i write it well enough it would have the same effect as yelling anyway.

I am very relieved to hear you say my medical explanations were good! I did a lot of research on it and asked my mum a lot of questions (she's a nurse). I had a feeling the bruising wouldn't quite be overly believable, as that is more of an Iron deficency thing, but I needed another symptom that wasn't as dire as the loss of muscle, and it seemed to work. I wanted to make their condition as believable as possible.

It's good to hear that you liked the tentativeness of Hermione and the interaction between her and Draco. I wanted this curse to be used as an equalizer between the two, to show that in the end they are both human and can be injured, and end up in a scary and unknown just the same as each other.

I know! It would be a horrible situation to be in! Especially since yes they are healing, but since they do not know the curse, they don't know if there could be any after effects that may cause them to worsen. Its all up in the air and they are not comfortable with it.

I'm so glad you liked this! I had such fun writing this, as I thought it would be neat to turn around the 'evil' in Draco's eyes and see how he reacted, which ended up being hilariously! And I thought that such a somber plot needed a bit of comic relief after the last chapter of information.

Oh yes I'll fix those. I'm bad at depicting which is which. Bad, considering I'm doing an english degree!

I'm really glad you think so! I think that with the right circumstances and situation these two could definitely work, and sometimes there needs to be sadness and pain for such a relationship to grow, so two who believe they are completely different from each other can realize they are exactly the same :)

Same!! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I loved reading your review

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Review #12, by LovlyRitaThe Choice: Rose

22nd April 2013:
Hello Ral! I'm finally here to give you your last review!

Oh my goodness I loved this story! It's everything that I can't do, and that makes me love it even more!

Ok, let's start with Rose. I think that she is definitely the typical "other woman." I loved the way you used flashbacks in this, it really makes it a well rounded story, it doesn't make it feel like a one shot at all. Right out of the gate, you make us want Rose and Scorpius to be together, even though it starts with heartbreak.

I really like how he wasn't there in the beginning, and you start with Rose in the bed. I think this really is a great effect to proving that she kind of is being left behind. I especially loved the descriptions of how her eyes and hair have kind of lost their shine and sparkle, which really coincides with how she has suddenly lost faith in their illicit relationship and kind of realized that she can't live like this anymore.

The first flashback I really liked. Honestly, when i was reading this story I kept thinking...this is exactly the kind of relationship that I imagined for Rose and Scorpius. The way they keep it quiet and don't tell their families. I loved that and I think that it is probably a "canon" thing to do. But to me, it's so heart breaking that Rose was finally ready to take that leap, and then at last minute she is unable to due to his father's health condition. Just heart breaking.

Then, after his marriage, and when they start seeing each other, I think you did a great job with Rose here. She obviously doesn't want this to be the way that her life turns out, but she is so in love with him that she resigns to live her life like this anyway. So melancholic!

I thought Camille's reaction to this is so very cold. You would think that she would be broken up about it, but it seems as though she knew it all along. I think this is interesting, since it appears that both of their families still have some power left in the world, but the fact that her dad is becoming minister kind of, to me, makes it seem like she has the upper hand in the relationship, but then it really doesn't turn out like that. I liked the dialogue between Scorpius and Camille and the way he just walks out because he realizes he's losing the best thing in his life.

My favorite scene in the whole thing though, despite the end, was the part where Rose just tears the sheets off the bed and then tears off her clothes and cries while the water is hot. What a powerful image I had in my mind! You described it so well here, I just loved the level and attention to detail!

And then the ending! So sweet! I was so happy for them, and the fact that he showed up with a trunk! love!

The one thing I like about this is that, I know you wrote it for a Nicholas Sparks challenge but it really almost does read like a Nicholas Sparks book. so full of heartbreak, but uplifting at the end, which is fabulous.

Over all it was just so beautiful. I really enjoyed this read. Thank you!


Author's Response: First: apologies for taking so long to answer your review(s). You are awesome and your feedback is awesome and I don't even know where to begin with it all.

In relationships where there's another woman people always tend to look at her as the bad guy. But I feel that there are some moments in life where you have to make a choice because it's the right thing to do. Like Dumbledore said, the choice between what is right and what is easy.

As for Camille, it's something I've often heard of with wealthy families. The women know about their husbands affairs but keep quiet because they like their life style. And yes, she did have the upper hand, but in my heart I am a romantic and I do believe in happy endings and I wanted this for them!

The scene with Rose trying to get rid of Scorpius from her life by washing him away was something that was so vivid in my mind and I'm glad it got across in writing as well!

I have no words to express how humbled I am by your comments! You really made my day! ♥

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Review #13, by LovlyRitaNo Hero: No Hero

8th April 2013:
Hi! :)

I have a story that's very similar to this, it's quite uncanny! Except mine is in reaction to the news that Snape is being heralded a hero, but it still has that panick-y, PTSD feel.

Anyway, enough about my crappy story, I wanted to tell you how much I loved this!

I think a lot of people in fan fiction like to see the other side of the war through Rose colored glasses, and I think JKR made it really easy to do that, given the epilogue. But that's just not reality, so I love to see Neville written in such an honest and realistic way!

One of the things I really liked that you did here was kind of give an insight into Neville's thoughts as to what kept him going through the tough times at school. Because his life was threatened while he was there, and it was a tough year for him. When he says things like "What would Harry do?" and wondering what his Mum and Dad would do...I'm sure that gave him strength when he was doubting himself and helped him to push forward even when times were rough.

I also think it's a very Neville-like quality to want to attribute his successes to other people. I loved when Hannah was consoling him and told him that he had done just as much as Harry. Neville's place in this story is so very important and I think it's heartbreaking that he is almost beating himself up, as though he wasn't as important.

Your writing style is so smooth and clear. It reads easy and it's just...straight forward. I love stories like that, because the trend nowadays is to put a bunch of flowery description and obscure metaphors, and it just wouldn't be appropriate in a story like this. It makes his mental anguish and anxiety more real, and it makes it jump off the page It was just so expertly done.

One of the other things that really makes this story for me is how you bring in Hannah as a comfort. She is there for him, finishing his sentences, understanding him more than anyone else could because she lived through it with him. And I think that's what makes them a good pair. I like the way you end the story on a high note, to give hope for the future for him. Especially the way you have the sword falling from his hand, which is great symbolism to suggest that he is amenable to letting go of the past and moving forward with Hannah, his future.

A few of my favorite lines that stood out to me:

...and left them all gaping like goldfish. I thought this was a GREAT visual, but most likely an exact representation of what would have happened. Loved that!

Now, the little round-faced boy inside him wept. He didnt want to be a hero

I loved this line because you kind of imagine Neville spending his 7 years of Hogwarts trying to shed that image of him being a sidekick and a coward who had been sorted incorrectly and was basically a "legacy" Gryffindor. He's finally done it, but it came at such a high price he wants to hide. I loved that thought, it was so well done! And something I honestly had never thought about before, but completely canon and within his character.

Anyway I just wanted to stop by and leave you a review! I had read something of yours previously and loved it and I loved this one as well. You have such a gift for engrossing the reader, even for a short one shot, and I'm so glad I decided to stop by!

Well done :)


Author's Response: Thank you so very much. Your opinion means so much to me. You caught everything I was trying to convey in this little story. Neville spent so long trying to fit in and be the Gryffindor, to make someone proud of him. Now that he'd done it, it felt overwhelming and wrong to seek attention for it. I appreciate the depth you go to here to let me know the areas I got right. It means a lot to me! Thank you, Ash!!! ~GW

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Review #14, by LovlyRitaHeartbeat: Meet the Malfoys

6th April 2013:

What a cute little story you have here! It's so nice to have this surprise where she thought she wasn't going to be able to bear children, and then she ends up being pregnant!

I kind of had a feeling that that's where you were going with the story, but it's a really nice thought. I think of the two characters you have here, Scorpius was my favorite. He is strong and really caring, even when Rose is having a difficult time. I like the way he laughs at her, even though Rose grows more indignant.

And really, that's how real life is too, in a marriage. It's great to see them happily married after 5 years.

The first time the see the baby's heartbeat is so sweet, and they are both so shocked it's like they have a hard time comprehending the situation! And this would be something that probably would be shocking, that they'd need to count all their blessings for.

I like that Rose, even though she's just been given this amazing news, still is thinking- I don't know if we're ready for this! Even though she's been dreaming of this moment, wishing for it, and finally resigned herself to the fact that it wasn't going to happen. Her shock was palpable, and then of course she starts thinking all the things that a young parent would- omg I'm not ready for this, how are we going to do this? When really they are both established adults and are absolutely ready! I just thought it added a nice dimension to your story, especially after the beginning where Rose is kind of almost juvenile and irresponsible in dealing with her sickness and going to the doctor. It's like throughout this entire story you see her grow up, just in 2K words, which is something very difficult to do, so bravo!

Well done, a very enjoyable read!


Author's Response: Hello!

I wanted to have her display these symptoms that are obvious for anybody, like, you're having a baby. Only she can't. I view life as a miracle and really wanted to capture that there!

And I guess all women are like that at some point. Sometimes when I'm sick, I'm worse than a toddler. But we man up when we have to!

Thank you for the amazing review!

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Review #15, by LovlyRitaVerity: She was ubiquitous

6th April 2013:

Here with your first review from your win in the March review battle!

First of all, I want to commend you on the way you've written this. I like that you didn't reveal who the two characters were thoughout the story. I kept trying to guess who it was, and even at one point actually thought that maybe it was Molly and Arthur and it was going to have a happy ending. Yeah could not be further off from that lol!

I love the way this story starts off with the narrator describing himself as "poison" and how it was kind of a running description through out. It kind of sets the tone for this, gives it kind of an ominous outlook from the beginning because you're like, ok this person is going to be dangerous to anything he comes into contact with.

I also loved your analysis of relationships and the way you describe one person being totally in love and another person with maybe their foot half out the door or something. I think that's a really good and realistic description of a lot of romances and marriages, and maybe just the natural ebb and flow of human connection. I thought that entire section was very well done.

I want to kind of address something quick though that probably isn't your fault. I was a bit distracted by the bolded words. My eyes kept being drawn to them and for me personally they kind of took away from the story. I'd just follow down, trying to see if they made a pattern or something, and I'd lose my place and it was just generally quite distracting for me. I know the words were given to you in the challenge so you can't really help that but I just thought I'd let you know. Just a personal preference on my side.

You have such a lovely way of describing things, and you made great use of the words that you were given. I think that they were all aptly placed and it didn't really seem like you went "Oh, I need a sentence where I can fit this word in, here let's do this." I thought it fell in good with the over all flow of the piece.

You really are masterful in using metaphors and similes in your writing. I enjoyed that description quite a bit! There were so many lines that really stuck out to me I think I would have a hard time choosing just few to quote here!

One of the other aspects of this story that I really like that you just don't see in a marauder's era romance of any sort was the way that you focused just on Lily and Sirius. This wasn't about the marauders and their counterparts, this wasn't about James and his Sirius bromance, or James trying to impress Lily. This was specifically about Sirius and wanting to shut the world out, wanting to exist as a singular unit without outside interference until she came along. I love that you also didn't really delve too deeply into their relationship and what made them work/not work. It was literally about their rise and fall and his personal demons and limitations that made their romance ultimately falter, and I think that's what makes this piece so striking and unique.

I also like that the reveal of the characters was so demure and quick. The build up to the reveal of course happened gradually throughout the story, but I love that you did it at the very end, without much pomp and fanfare. It was simple, heartbreaking, and concise, and I think that really made it stand out.

Overall I really enjoyed this piece and was impressed with your writing and attention to detail, like I said earlier!

Great job!


Author's Response: Thank you so much! This is one of the best reviews I've ever gotten!

This story is really special to me, since I wanted to do a Sirius/Lily and I also wanted to do that challenge. English isn't my first language so I had to dust off the dictionary and get to it!

I'm so happy you caught on to the fact that this was about a man and his demons. Even when you're in a relationship and you love the person next to you, sometimes you have to be a little selfish. He was selfish to the point of self destruction. For me, this story creates ripples through canon, even though I know it could never be, because the way I see him, this is the man that later ended up like he did. This is what happened to him and he was reckless until the end!

Again, thank you so much for your kind words! I was blown away by your review! You are awesome!

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Review #16, by LovlyRitaIn My Dying Breath: In My Dying Breath

6th April 2013:

Girl, you know I love this story, I already told you I loved it, I beta'd it, and I thought it was just so well written!

I have to first of all just gush and gush about the rich description you used here! I thought that opening paragraph was just beautifully done, it immediately pulled me into the story. The second sentence to me was TO DIE FOR. (Pun intended's killing him. lol) I totally had a magic school bus like view of the body where this toxin is just going through and destroying things in its path and things are shriveling up and dying. It was just so well done, I loved that line.

So, I really like the memories you've decided to include in these flashbacks. I know that technically this is not a snape/lily one shot, but it reads like once, simply because the memories are biased to Snape. And he so loved Lily his entire life, it would make sense that he would pull out the moments that he held most dear to him. He lived for nothing else in his adult life; only for her and anything he could do to honor and cherish her memory. So I really love the moments you chose to include.

I especially love how your descriptions always focus distinctly on Lily. How she looked, the almost angelic quality of her, in his point of view.

I know you were worried about the dialogue in here, but I didn't find it stiff at all. I think that it's very true to the way they would have interacted. I also liked the inclusion of some naughty language :P you know how I do!

I loved the metaphor of the film strip and how you described that whole section, before you go right in to a memory involving a film strip. That was well done and a very effective transition tool.

And finally, I just wanted to comment on the last paragraph. I think it made me cry because of all the sad face things that have been happening in my life recently, but it did. From an physiological stand point I think this was a masterful and powerful way to end your story. It's so...literal. There's nothing hidden about it. Quite literally, this is physically what happens when you die. And I love the way you did it here. Even if it did make me cry. :P

I'm really jealous of your attention to detail here and I think you should keep writing! This was really well done, I think even with the flashbacks the flow was well done and enjoyable!

As a Snape/Lily fan, you've got me with this one :) love love love!!


Author's Response: Hey Ash!

I'm so glad you thought the description was strong in this story since I really tried to work at getting the scene to be easily imaginable in people's minds. Yay for the magic school bus! I guess I kind of had that type of idea in mind when I was writing it.

It's really hard to please either side of the Snape/Lily/James debate with a story like this because Snape and Lily still don't end up together, but Snape's love for Lily is so strong that you want to give him a chance over James. The memories were trying to reflect just little bits and pieces of their relationship and what Snape thought of over the years when he thought of Lily. I'm happy you picked out how the descriptions were heavily biased to Lily's actions and appearance in Snape's mind. I picture Snape as being almost infatuated with her and never being able to take his eyes off of her when he's with her.

I don't know why I struggle with dialogue so much but it just seems so unnatural when I read it back. I find myself wanting to make the dialogue more complex and interesting but then trying to stay simpler because that's how they would actually talk. I'm glad you thought the dialogue wasn't stiff though. That's certainly a relief. I included naughty language just for you. :P Maybe not, but I figured Lily and Snape would both have a little firecracker in them when it comes to James.

I'm so sorry this made you cry! It really is tragic when you think about it because Snape was never able to get over Lily, even after nearly two decades. The literal explanation of death is kind of peaceful in a way when I think about it. It can be so systematic and just powerful in a sense. I hope that doesn't sound too morbid. I just love a good death scene. :P Thank you so much for betaing this and reviewing it. You are so amazing and I feel so much better posting a story knowing you think it's decent and worthwhile.


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Review #17, by LovlyRitaBefore They Fall: Train Rides and Memory Lane

26th March 2013:
So like it's only been a million years since I've been here to review this, but I am here now and I am ready to go!

Ok, so the start of the chapter is awesome. I love the fact that James tried to shorten Butterscotch's name and she was having NONE. OF. THAT. haha love it. It reminds me of my friend who was like "My mom named me Elizabeth and she says it should never be shortened, she wanted to call her daughter Elizabeth." Yeah I called her Liz. lol!

The fight with the snowballs and McGonagall interrupting it was so perfect. I love that she was kind of laughing while pretending to be stern. That is the best kind of awesome, I want to be like McGonagall someday!

Whenever I read this story, it really makes me miss and stuff. Where I could just go hang out with friends and be silly for hours and do silly things. Now I'm all old and grown up and I never get to see any of my friends. I think you do a great job of getting the dynamics of their friendship though, the whole group I mean. Really great job with that!

And the scene with McGonagall and Albus was great, it really kind of built suspense and foreshadowing in a really kind of subtle way and I thought it was well placed in your chapter.

Now, this memory with Petunia is so sad. Especially since Petunia seemingly had nice friends and then something just happened to her brain and now she's mean and twisty. I felt bad for her friend though because she was just trying to be nice to Lily and ask about her holidays. I mean Petunia totally had it coming to her but it really does a good job of continuing to build animosity between Lily and Petunia. That's just really heart breaking to me. I love your portrayal of both of these characters though, and I especially liked later when you brought up the fact that they had both done things to hurt each other. It's great that you don't show Lily as completely blameless, that they had both done things to ruin their relationship. Of course Petunia did more. 'cause she's a jerk.

This Christmas dinner at the Potters sounds really awesome, and I invited? I liked the description of Alice's parents here, I'm glad you didn't make them all genial and BFFs. It's really a nice picture. And I liked how you included Peter's parents and didn't make them standoffish. I hope that we might get to see a glimpse of this in later chapters since I know there is a Christmas chapter at the bottom of the page :P

And of course the Lily/James fluffy stuff at the end. yay.

Over all this was another brilliant chapter, I'm constantly bewitched by your writing and your ability to be such an engrossing story teller. Marvelous job! :)

Author's Response: ASHLEY! CAN I BOTTLE YOU UP AND KEEP YOU? Yes? Okay, let me just reach through the computer and.whack! Ashley, why did you whack me away? I just wanted to bottle you up!

Fine, I'll respond to the review instead. And here is another reason I should have know DD was you. You always do the uppercase letters with periods when you're being all intense. Dang.

I want to be like McGonagall someday too! Except not alone. I don't do well alone. Hahah. Writing this story makes me miss school SO much. Not HS, because I hated that, but definitely college. They always get to be around each other and they get to be stressed over an exam that seems like the end of the world and ugh I miss it all. I'm so happy you like the dynamic between all the friends &hearst;

I think I'll eventually have to write something of just Lily and Petunia, because their relationship is so much fun for me to explore. I'm sure I've rambled about this before, but I just don't see it being as cut and dry as 'lily is a freak i don't like her.' there's another big thing in a newer chapter that found it's way in really well in terms of these two not being able to ever be close again. I don't now what I'm saying anymore, so imma move on to the next part of your review.

YOU ARE SO INVITED TO THE POTTER CHRISTMAS DINNER. You'd be lots of fun there, especially when they pull their prank.

I'm so happy that you're still enjoying this ♥ I just want to cuddle into a happy ball every time you review and purr like Scotch. Er, Butterscotch. Sorry Lily.

Love you ♥

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Review #18, by LovlyRitaHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Fortunes

22nd March 2013:
Hello :)

I have not forgotten your story even though you probably think I have. It will probably take me all year, but I do plan to read and review, it just might not happen regularly :)

Anyway, to the chapter!

First of all, I like the beginning and this mysterious woman. One of the details I liked the best is where Flint starts speaking to her almost in high regard, which slowly resolves into impatience. I thought that really was a fantastic touch, and whoever she is, she doesn't really seem to care about that minor transgression. I do like how she blames everything on Flint.

I'm going to keep talking about Flint now and go to the next section with the guy in Borgin in Bourkes. This was my favorite scene in this chapter. One detail I think that really stuck out was your attention to the political climate. I really like how Flint described the current administration as "corrupt" even though it's most likely opposite from it. Everyone has moved on with the times except for him, but the government was the one that was corrupt. I really admired that small detail.

I also enjoyed his bargaining with the creepy dude, and the realization that he'd be looting. I like how you said that the Dark Lord may not be happy about it, and I really had to sit down and think about that for a second. The first time I read it, I was like, is Voldemort like a classy kind of mass murderer? But then when I really thought about it, you know, I realized that Voldemort had no use for money or riches. He could figure out other ways to get by. He was so consumed with power. So I thought it was really interesting that Flint would take the time to analyze and think that Voldemort wouldn't care for looting. I liked that a lot!

Now, onto Harry's sections. I liked the dialogue exchange between him and Bones. Nothing about your dialogue ever feels forced or unnatural, which is fabulous and really difficult to pull off sometimes. I also admire your usage of British phrases and things, even though I don't always particularly know what you're talking about. I think that was brilliantly done.

And finally, my other favorite details in this chapter was the focus on this ancient spell and the boiling of the blood. I am extremely intrigued with Hermione's lack of movement in her legs. My PT brain of course is working overtime wondering, did the blood boiling cause a spinal artery to burst? Maybe in the lumbar region, which would cause spinal cord injury? Is it something more magical? I absolutely ADORE medical issues, especially those musculoskeletal or neurological in nature so I'm quite intrigued on this one. I am interested in reading on and finding out what you plan to do with that because there aren't many stories that do it well and I'm convinced that yours is going to be one of the few that is!

Anyway, great chapter, I really enjoyed it, helped me take my mind off things :) bravo!

Author's Response: Hi, Ashley! Sorry, it has taken me a shamefully long time to get around to responding to this.

Flint is something of a recidivist by the standard of the time this story is set in. He went to prison shortly after the end of the Second Wizarding War and has only recently managed to escape, so his attitudes are well behind the times, so to speak. He sees the current leadership of the Ministry as "corrupt" simply because it's no longer mired in the pure blood status quo of years past.

The men that he meets at the Ragged Fang -- an ancient wizarding pub that caters to a very rough crowd, in a secret location next door to Bourgin & Burkes -- are definitely outsiders, but they're smart enough not to take Flint's offer at face value. Still, Flint is able to figure out something to say that appeals to them. He's clever, in a blunt sort of way.

I'm really glad that you like the dialog between Harry and Susan, because you're still in the part of the story that was written before I started working with my beta reader. So I always find it a bit rough around the edges. I've tried hard to work in some things that are more British sounding, but mostly just stuff I either find in other fics I like or on Google.

The spells that Hermione was hit with is very old and very dark. You'll learn a lot more about it as the story moves along, but suffice it to say that she has a long, difficult road ahead. The exact nature of her injury doesn't become completely clear for a while, though. I love your ideas!

I'm really glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #19, by LovlyRitaA Real Dark Night of The Soul: A Real Dark Night of The Soul

5th March 2013:
Alli!! I am so excited to come and leave you this review! I think that your chapter summary was great and I love the title of the story, it's just really interesting.

First thing of note: The imagery! Oh my goodness! I felt like when I was reading this, I could picture exactly what was happening. I love the way you mentioned the forest, and in the first paragraph whenever Sirius is pushing branches out of the way. It's just great with description.

One of the things that I really enjoy is your word choice. There are several instances throughout this where your word choice just...leaves me in awe, even though it's simple. For example, describing the jolt of exercise as "odd" which I'm sure it would have been for someone who was in Azkaban for so long! Oh and the way you describe the trees as swaying "viscously" I remember reading that when I was betaing and thinking DAMN I AM JEALOUS OF THAT DESCRIPTION. It was just brilliant, Alli, I loved it!

The thing that's so heart breaking about this too is the fact that the beginning section is totally a dream and of course Sirius wakes up to the drab walls of prison. I mean, when you're reading it, you're all caught up because you're like OMG this is the moment when he escapes! And the fact that he is still just rotting away in his cell, barely breathing, it's just so sad. I think you've done a good job with this transition.

I also love the metaphor you use about a lion running through London. I especially like it because of the symbolism of him being a Gryffindor, tearing through downtown London. That would be so frightening! But at the same time it would be much the way that I imagine Sirius running down the forest :P

Oh there's another word I like. "Boundless birds" genius.

I really enjoyed the detail of the plume of smoke that he can see from his window. Like just a hint of the outside world. It almost stands in for something you said earlier, something that makes him feel "human." Not that seeing smoke makes you feel human but almost like it was the reason for him to keep going, to know that eventually there would come a time where he could see something like that in person. Smoke gives him hope. It's such an interesting concept, and I really enjoyed the little exploration you did into that.

Ok, let's look at this heartbreaking little memory for Sirius. I love how he's like "Hagrid give him to me!" and Hagrid doesn't do it. IT's just so sad because I just think of how different Harry's life would be if he was raised by Sirius, you know? I like how Sirius originally thought Hagrid had a bundle of Lily and James' things and then JK IT'S HARRY!!! What a happish surprise! But again, reiterating just how very sad and broken Sirius is here, with all he's lost, and the fact that Harry can't come with him. It's so horrific and sad and you've done a brilliant job conveying that here.

Over all I think this is one of the best first stories I have ever read by any author ever! and you know that I read a lot of first stories :) You really have a talent for expressive description that doesn't go over the top. And again, I could gush about your word choice all day long. Perfect start to your writing career!!

I can't wait to read more from you!! :)

Author's Response: Ash!!

I really loved working on the imagery and word choice for this story so I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. I think picking the perfect adjective to help describe the scene in your story is really important, so I tried to focus on that in the beginning and really build up the setting Sirius was in.

It is so heartbreaking to watch Sirius sit in Azkaban and dreaming of the moment he will escape. Everyone always comments on how Sirius was able to remain sane in Azkaban after all those years, and the vividness of his dreams was a way for me to showcase his mental state and what he was doing to keep the dementors from destroying him.

I'm glad the transitions were improved! I tried to make the transition between the dream and present day more obvious by throwing in the 'lucid' comment, so hopefully that was successful.

I love that you mention the smoke! That's my favorite part of the story and really what ties the entire thing together. It's the smallest details in Sirius's surroundings that is giving him hope. I just love that it’s so simple.

Eep! Thank you for all of your kind compliments. You're too nice! You are such an amazing writer so it means a lot for you to say you enjoyed the story. Thank you for the review and for putting so much time into beta reading this for me!


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Review #20, by LovlyRitaBefore They Fall: Baby Steps

19th February 2013:
Ok, I am determined to make this review concise. Are you ready for this mess?

First of all...d'awww Remus. Love. Him. And Lily, just couldn't mind her own business. I don't normally find myself rooting against Lily but this was one instance where I was just like, Leave it alone Lily. The man is hurt, he's been up all night, he clearly needs some alone time. But no, she just has to go and hide and such. But, I thought the whole thing with the calling the werewolf issue the "hippogriff" was funny and kind of cute. I love Remus, I really do. And I guess it's kind of nice that Lily is in on his little secret the most secretive way possible. that didn't even make sense. Forgive me.

Anyway, So in conclusion, I am glad that she knows these things now, and I am glad that her hunger for knowledge has been satiated. Now she needs to mind her own business :P

Oh and there was that part in the beginning when she decides that she wants to be a healer and I was like, I feel ya gurl. Watching someone walk again, or helping to improve their gait is just...gah. Best feeling ever. me and Lily could be BFFs. Like forever.

ANYWAY, moving on to the adorablness that is Sirius and Belle. I love them because they just try SO HARD not to be together. Both of them always have some reason why they shouldn't be together, although not Sirius so much anymore. I love how flippant he is. I am kind of obsessed with Lost right now, and he totally, in this scene, reminds me of the character of Sawyer whenever he calls her Blondie. Which, you know, is super hot. But all kidding aside, I think that it's great he's going to France with her because I think he'll definitely be able to offer moral support to her, because obviously it's not going to be an easy trip for her. But she's right, she can't keep punishing herself for her past, she has to move on. And if this is what does it, then so be it. I am very excited to see how that is going to go down in France. These next couple of chapters I think are going to be super interesting and I can't wait to read them!

Ok. This review was short. Right? :) Loved loved it!

Author's Response: Lily really has quite the curious streak. I mean, her intentions are always good and she doesn't do it to be nosy, she's just so curious! Someone better tell her that curiosity killed the cat.

Although, considering Lily's future, that's be in poor taste, right? Well, we'll just let her be curious, then :P

I love the way you put that. Lily is on his secret, in such a secretive way. He didn't admit it, and it's almost like her secret that she knows his secret, except he does know that she knows, but he has to pretend not to because, well, it's remus. And anything that has him blurting out, "I'm a werewolf," makes me grind my teeth.

Umm now I'm not making sense.

Back to your review... :P

Funny storyy! I thought of you while writing that part. Haha. Actually, I think of you while writing nearly anything that has to do with medicine. Creeepy Jami.

I wish I'd have stayed into Lost. I watched the fist season, missed the second, and it was done from there. Maybe when I finish season five of Son's of Anarchy I'll try it.

The next few chapters have been scary to write. I hope they come across okay. And yes! This review was a much more reasonable size. Not that there's anything wrong with your elephant sized ones, but I bet this didn't take nearly as long ;).

You are awesome, PS.

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Review #21, by LovlyRitaBefore They Fall: Breaking Curfew

19th February 2013:

Crap. It has been way too long since I have read this. I'm staring at it like...what? What happened? I'm so confused. *shuts up. keeps reading.* Wait no, I feel like I should confront this. Am I supposed to know what's going on? 'cause I like...don't. Am I bad person? I can't figure this out!

Oh wait there it is. And here's is a perfect example of where Ashley should just take her own advice and shut up and read. I'll never learn.

Ok so, section one recap: Ashley has no idea what's going on. Also, some stuff happens with Sirius. But on a serious note, I really like the way you've written Sirius here. You can see the scars that his parents have left on him here, and how his heart breaks for Belle and the life she has lead so far. And it is totally in character for him to just walk away, cool off, try and make sense of things. But James was there, and I love the exchange between them toward the end of this section, how Sirius talks about them having to deal with James and his Ego every day. Brilliant! And I LOVE how you tied in the marauder's map. perfect!

Things you'd only see in an HPFF: "before slipping out through the Fat Ladys portrait. " I'm not sure why this struck me as funny, but it did :)

Ok so I just started reading because I couldn't stop. I JUST COULDN'T STOP.

First and foremost, the whole thing where Lily decides that she likes where things are going with James, that she is happy in the relationship, I was just like HALLELUJAH CAN I GET AN AMEN UP IN DIS HOUSE?! I gotsta celebrate this.

But then this whole thing in the hallway with the death eaters. Like, I wish I Could explain my feelings. I can't. there are so many of them. First of all, Polly, if I could tell you how much I love this girl. She seems so unbelievably sweet, I just kind of wanted to like...wrap her in a hug, and then hug carry her all the way back to the common room. But not in a creepy way. in a're adorable so I'ma just cuddle you and put you to bed with a lollipop kind of way. 'cause that's not creepy right? amirite?

Anyway, back on track, ugh I could just kill Rosier, I was so happy that Lily gave him what was coming to him. And let's be honest, what was coming to him was Lily being like "Gurl, yo face is ugly. U have a poor attitude, and those shoes aren't doing you any favors." and then of course he gets hexed. Ok, maybe she didn't call Rosier a girl, maybe she said some things that cut a lot deeper. And maybe I couldn't describe it the way I wanted because I had to stay 12+. But that's neither here or there. What I'm trying to say is, I LOVED this part where she broke some rules and just hexed him. He deserved it, and that remark that they made with the suggestive nature things, that's just not ok!

The whole thing with Severus, while well put, is still heart breaking for me. And I am sure it is for her too, because this was her friend, and it ended so terribly for her. I just hate that. But it's canon and stuff. Whatever. :P

Ok and then they get caught by Filch which was so fabulous. And then when they are in the room getting punished, it was clever to interview the portraits, I loved that. And also Abigail definitely reminded me of Pansy Parkinson in a way. Just the lying, she just was gross. I'm sure her shoes weren't doing her favors either. I wasn't a fan of her. But I'm glad that Lily just got off with a few easy detentions, even though it probably should have been more given the fact that she hexed a student.

And of course, James jumps to Lily's defense immediately, and McGonagall SHUT. THAT. DOWN. She was like...don't push your luck, crazy. And, you know, I get that. He got off pretty easy. I thought the Slytherin prefect got off easy too though, she should have had her prefectdom stripped. Slughorn shoulda laid down that law. But oh well.

And I did love the end of it where they all start laughing. Lily is standing there like "Y'all jokers dont even know. I almost DIED." and they are just like "You are hilarious." no but seriously, I bet it WAS hilarious for James and Sirius, because they were like "look at how the tables are turned now!" and I bet they are all glad that everything is ok.

Still, I can't help but feel like this is foreshadowing for ominous things to come. Because like, Rosier and the rest of the slytherins aren't like to forget this. And there is a part of me that kind of hopes that if it happens again that Severus might say SOMETHING. That's because I ship Sev/Lily so hardcore though. But not even romantically...I just want him to say SOMETHING. Don't just stand there, like seriously, you big idiot. SERIOUSLY. ugh. My feelings are just not cut out for this right now. *sigh*

Ok this is obscenely long. Clearly I loved this chapter and I can't wait to move on to the next one!! :)

Author's Response: Ashley!!!

The entire first paragraph had me literally LOLing. Like, if someone were around me, they'd have though I'd gone crazy.

I think Sirius's erratic sort of brooding nature is one of my favorite things to write. He's such a sweet guy, but he knows himself well enough to know that he can't always control what he says or does, so excusing himself from the situation was definitely his best option. Good boy Sirius, good puppy!

Do you ever wonder if the Fat Lady gets sick of being called a fat lady?

Like, a prefect introduces the students to her -- "And this, Gryffindors, is the entry to the common room. The Fat Lady's portrait will ask for a password and-"

"Fat Lady?Who you callin' fat? Didn't yo mama ever teach you better than that? Fine, I'll go on a diet. We'll see who's fat when I'm done!"

Then just runs off? Yep, I bet it happens all the time :P

You couldn't stop?! Best compliment everrr ♥

Lily has FINALLY clicked! Honestly, in my head I'm like -- isn't this all happening so fast? Then I tell Dan that, and Dan's like -- JAMI! THIS IS CHAPTER 17. IT'S NOT TOO FAST.

Then I have to remember that, oh yeah, I'm one hundred thousand words in. hahaha.

I don't even know if I can respond to any of this part of your review. All I can really do is tell you --

U-G-L-Y ROSIER AIN'T GO NO ALIBI HE UGLY. yeah yeah he ugly!

You know. I don't really don't understand that song. Hahaha.

I really love Polly, too. She'll come back in throughout all of this, and I just think she's so sweet and cute and little. You know, you didn't seem creepy for wanting to carry her back to the CR and put her in bed... but then as soon as you suggested the lollipop, you're creep flag went way up. We'll pretend that didn't just happen. Yeah? :P

I'm so happy you think he deserved the hex! I did too. He's a nasty piece of work. And I'm sorry he had to bring your Sev into this mess :(

That end. It kind of came out of nowhere. But really, what else were they supposed to do?? Sirius and James were just minding their own business for once, and then they come upon Lily and that craziness, and it just all went cray from there. They've done SO MUCH WORSE and never gotten caught, but it was so worth it and then you just have to laugh. Really. It was the only option :P

Thank you so much for making numerous days with this review, m'dear. You always make me feel warm and fuzzy, but still make me giggly. You've got talent, girl. Youz definitely got alibi. (Still don't get that. Hahahah)

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Review #22, by LovlyRitaThe Odd One: Plotting Revenge

19th February 2013:
Hello! This is LovlyRita here, Congratulations on winning this review, I am so excited to be here to leave it for you! And you'll be happy to know that I validated this one shot as well, so when I realized which story it was that i'd be reviewing, I was like SWEET I'm totally already familiar with it!

So let's get to it! :)

First of all, Tom Riddle one shot! yaay! I haven't ever seen one quite like this, so you've really stumbled upon something that is unique :) It's so heartbreaking to think that people actually might have come by to adopt little Tom Riddle and it really makes me sad inside! Like, here's this little boy who might have just wanted to be loved. When he was little anyway :P And because he was so odd, no one wanted him :( Poor Tom Riddle. I never thought I'd say that!

And what about these punks, Dennis and Amy! I like the way that you are rationalizing everything, making Riddle seem child like and human, which is great because that's what he is. It often seems like people seem to think he was always this evil mastermind when really he started out as a child just like everyone else. And it really must have been hard for him to be taunted that no one would ever love him. It's sad and striking, because he really did end up with no one ever loving him (Save for Bellatrix but that doesn't really count.) He exchanged the possibility of being loved for all consuming power.

This bit with the boy and his rabbit was chilling. Once again, it demonstrates the sociopath growing within him, that if he couldn't tend the rabbit, then no one would touch it. It's perfectly done. And it's very concise, the way you tie it up there. Instead of saying BTW I killed the rabbit, you hinted at it, and it was fabulous :)

Back to heart break in the next paragraph. His perception that his parents "left" him when really the backstory of his life is so much more chilling and sad than that. But again, the childlike perception is great. This belief that "If my parents wronged me, and the other children are being mean to me, then I need to teach everyone a lesson, they need to understand how I felt." It really is tragic.

The point where Dumbledore comes and Riddle realizes that he is "superior" to other is really the first flash of Voldemort that we see in this entire story, and, I know I've said "sad" several times, but to me it's sad that it happens so very early.

Over all I think this is a very well written, albeit short, one shot. It is a great insight into the mind of a confused little boy, it was concise and chilling and I really enjoyed this read!!! :) The over all flow was great and engaging.

Well done!

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad that you were excited in reviewing this story, I just assumed that validators read so many stories that they forgot which ones they had validated.

I've never read any Tom Riddle one-shots so I didn't really know whether this was similar to anything else or not, so I'm glad that you found it was unique :D

Yeah I never realised that I would feel sympathy towards Tom Riddle as well, before writing this, so I'm glad that you felt some sympathy towards him, as I feel he needs it, as he didn't have a very good start to life.

I thought he would rationalize everything thing, as he's very intelligent it seemed like the obvious thing to do! I just thought it would show that he was human once, and he could have remained human if he had some love.

I'm glad that you liked the bit about the rabbit, as I feel he never admits to what he does, so of course he wouldn't just say I killed your rabbit.

I think that if I was in his situation I would feel unloved as they had left me, so I wanted to show this may have contributed to his evilness.

Yeah I guess the visit from Dumbledore was significant as he was the one who told him about magic, and if he never visited there would have never been a Voldemort.

Thank you for this great review, it made my day :D

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Review #23, by LovlyRitaBefore They Fall: A Day for Madness

31st January 2013:
Hi there!

OMG the return of the great William Potter! *is excited*

Awww Alice how cute is she, I just love her and Frank. It would make sense that he doesn't really know how to deal with certain types of close interactions given that Augusta Longbottom was never the really nuturing type of lady.

Ugh Alrek. I like throw up every single time that I see his name. Maybe I'm being overly dramatic. But srsly. And watch William Potter swoop in! I'm glad he has the same skeptical eye that I do. Well done, sir, well done.

Oh my GAWD I love James' parents even more. Thinking about her taking bets on the game. It's hilarious and it's so freaking cute, I love them, they are the best older couple ever. I want to be them when I Grow up.

Ahhh Jily kiss. Adorbs. And then Belle's all like "hey gurl, tings moving 2 fast 4 yall?" and Lily's all like "wut?" But I have to say, how could things POSSIBLY be moving too fast?! If I could, just for a moment, insert myself into this story. I'd pop up right there. here, I'll write it for you:

Suddenly, a random stranger popped up right in front of them. Given that there was no apparation onto Hogwarts grounds, Lily was confused and a little frightened at the woman standing before her.

"Lily, seriously," the stranger gasped, as though she had run a long way. "You're worried you're moving too fast? It's chapter 16, chica! You seriously need to google the definition of 'too fast.' You and James are moving like turtles as far as relationships are concerned. Just watch an episode of Teen Mom or the Bachelor. Things happen quickly. If you want to take this whole Jily thing and put some turbo boosters on it, I'm pretty sure he'd be cool with that." The stranger then winked at the girls and was magically gone.

"What's google?" asked Lily.

"What is zis Bachelor?" asked Belle.

And SCENE. Right? AMIRITE. Ahem. Maybe that was a melodramatic way to say so, but I just feel like someone should tell Lily that she shouldn't worry about moving too fast. She's cool. :P

And there's Alrek again, being an over all (non 12+ word). Poor Lily. At least Momma and Papa Potter were there to soften the blow.

Oooh Bellatrix. LOVE. I adore the descriptions of her anticipation of meeting the Dark Lord, especially when you describe the thrill she has at hearing his voice. It's all part of the intense crazy that makes her such an interesting character.

Loving the code about the plants, very sneaky.

And how just like the Dark Lord to make Bellatrix think that he's going to eat her soul before paying her a compliment. "I would like to reward you for your loyalty" says the Dark Lord. "I have booked a room at the Super 8 motel down the street for us just for the night, I hope you like free HBO" I mean...WHAT?!

Oh wait, nevermind, she just gets to torture Karkaroff. Psh. And to think she went to all that trouble. I mean, that is to say, what a delicious gift for a twisted death eater such as herself! :)

Ok ALL the LOLZ at this scene with Professor McGonagall!! Ahaha that is so funny! I can totally imagine it in my head too. At first you're all like What? And then you're all like AWW and then you're all like LOL. Fabulous work there.

Ok so now I'm all done. Gonna admit, I about had a heart attack at the end of the chapter when James thought he'd taken a hundred steps back. I was like NO, please see the above excerpt, James, and consult the Bachelor. You're doing FINE. But then Lily surprises everyone, she's so feisty!

Loved this chapter, the developments were great, always keeping the plot moving and entertaining. Wasn't bored for a second and I'm really glad that everyone is moderately happy, even Bellatrix. Though I do have to say I'm going to be very sad if there are no Jily feels on the trip to Wales because, hey, what else is a long Jily weekend good for? That stupid Alrek. Don't you find it funny how I adore Bellatrix and have nothing bad to say about the Dark Lord, but that Alrek is the worst person ever? There's something wrong with me.

ANYWAY Brilliant chapter, loved it so much, you're amazing as always and I look forward to the next installment!

Author's Response: Ashley!!! I was so excited to see you! Well, I'm still excited ♥ PS I've been thinking about making a podcast out of Casualties of War. I'll message you in a bit ♥

Oh god. I was laughing hysterically at your rewrite of yourself in this chapter, and I read this at five in the morning when I woke up. So basically I was laying in my bed laughing hysterically at five in the morning and I thought Ben was going to murder me. It would have been your fault too, just so you know. And his, but mostly yours. :P

HAHAHAHA. Oh Voldemort. Can you imagine how exciting that one finger brush over the arm must have been for her?? She's probably going to go home and tell her husband about it.. oh wait.. hmm.

JILY FEELS IN WALES? Well, there must be a reason that they're going too far past the 100 mile recommended apparation radius, because now they're going to take muggle transportation and they'll have to spend a whole night there...

but then with crazy people going after them, you never know ;). Maybe Lily will just offer Bellatrix a piece of cake and she'll stay for the wedding? Then she can torture Vernon, because who really needs that waist of air?

Ummm I love you and your reviews to tiny little pieces ♥

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Review #24, by LovlyRitaBefore They Fall: Not Just Friends

17th January 2013:
Alright! I am here and I am ready and let's do this!!! :D

Wait, what? Someone killed James' owl? Wait, WHAT? Did that happen in the last chapter? *goes to check* LOL Whoops. I totally forgot about that. *ahem* ignore me.

Ok, I'm loving this strong Remus you have here. He is by far my favorite marauder, I adore him, and I like to see him get a little angry here. Of course he has every right to feel like he does, but he's so hot when he's mad, isn't he? isn't he? Well he is in my mind :P

Ugh you had to interrupt this cute little Jily thing happening here with some talk about that Alrek? I don't like him, he's like gross, why you gotsta ruin the moment with him? Going back to the whole Jily thing, I love their little exchange whenever they first see each other. It kind of makes me want to google what a...t word is, 'cause I don't actually know what that means. It's like that with a lot of british swears, as it should turn out. And speaking of which, I love that swears that can be pretty bad in the UK are basically harmless here. It's so fabulous. Except I can't mention any of them because I have to stay 12+. Sad panda.

Anyway, back on track. Oh James' owl isn't gonna die. I thought he was already dead. Ok, clearly I need to focus on the details here. Well, in any case, yay for alive owl.

Ok so I want to talk a little bit about a description that you used that really caught my eye. Specifically, Olivia's Arthritis, and how the pain could "seep" through even after she had used potions to shut it up. That was brilliant, and it's of course so totally true. I just kind of liked the thought of it, like that the pain was muted but still there. It was great! well done!

I love how McGonagall keeps emphasizing how much homework they have. "Yeah, ya crazy kids, keep ya hands off eachotha before ya end up on Teen Mom." She said it just like that too, in my head.

Oh Petunia, she really knows how to bridge a long absence with heartfelt sincerity doesn't she? She's getting married in Wales? That's fun :P LOL don't wear anything that clashes with your hair. Oh she is JUST a ball of sunshine. I guess Lily's wearing orange then, amirite?!

Ooooh they kissed oh la la! Jily feels all around! *ignores Jily feels.*

Ok so now I'm at the end of the chapter. Again, I have to commend you for writing a brilliantly realistic and plausible James/Lily story without a lot of the typical stereotypes. You've made your characters likeable and unlikeable, but like I've said again and again, most strikingly, you have made them real. And the fact that you continue to weave the story and progress the plotline this far without solely focusing on the romance portion, or the action portion, or the mystery, is just great. It advances evenly which is fabulous.

Of course, as much as I don't particularly care for reading this pairing I do very much enjoy reading your version of it. As I've said before I am a total fan of all things canon, and we know how canon this stupid pairing is so I guess I'll just have to go with it :P I won't say you've converted me but I will say you've made me more tolerant. That's all you're getting from me, you hear? That's it! No more! :P

Amazing chapter! So well done :)

Author's Response: Ashley!

Sorry for taking ages to respond :(. A killer cold got me.

Your reviews are always so much fun to read. This is why you get me addicted to them, because you make them funnn!

Remus is ABSOLUTELY hot when he's mad. All controly and Alpha and yum.

Hahaha I love learning new British swear words. And then it's so weird because they're not really swear words! But they are... and yeah. Brits. Coming up with non sweary swear words.

I'm really happy that you liked the description of Olivia and William's health. I wanted to make it clear that these people may be witches and wizards, but their bodies are still 80 year old bodies. Most 80 year olds would be bed ridden, so their doing a ton better than muggles, but that doesn't man their spring chickens.

Hahahah I'm imagining Lily in bright orange with orange eyeshadow looking like a human carrot. Petunia would LOVE that :P


I am totally going to make up with the amount of Jily feels that I made you endure this chapter with a nice little look into our favorite crazy villain next chapter. She's getting her nails nice and sharp just for you...and making her curls extra insane.

I WILL CONVERT YOU. I WILL. My new goal in life is to make you cry by the end of this. Yep. Mwahahaha ♥

I love you and your awesome reviews ♥

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Review #25, by LovlyRitaHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Strange Bedfellows

6th January 2013:
Hello there, back again!

Ok, loving how this chapter starts with Astoria. I love her flippant attitude toward Harry and his whole family, that they simply "fix" dark wizards. love love.

Well I have to hand it to you, you did a fine job here with the women in the clothing store. I'm glad that you wrote it too because a lot of male writers shy away from this kind of thing but I think it made your story more real and interesting. I love that, as she hears the news, she just runs out the door with the dress on. Too funny, but also very scary, because I fear for her and Draco, both looking for each other! don't they know it's scary out there?! :P

I also really liked the way that you wrote Hermione figuring out what was going on and where she was. I know from having an experience of passing out that when I came to, the first thought I had is "is it morning already? I don't want to get up!" even though I'd been perfectly awake seconds earlier. (Don't worry about me, I'd given blood :P ) So I thought you did a really accurate depiction of what it feels like to kind of come out of unconsciousness and not just sleep.

Other things I really liked in this chapter: Astoria and Flint. What a dirty liar he is! I was freaking out the whole time, like oh no they have Draco, and then turns up to save the day! Well sort of, she was still scantily clad, but meh. This Flint sounds like a real jerk. I can see how he might harbor these thoughts about purebloods because clearly they were instilled in this entire generation from a young age. I don't think that their thoughts on life would have changed all that much from what they were when they were little, possibly becoming a little more tolerant but otherwise their core values will probably stay the same. But it seems like Flint got a little more twisted that the others did. I really dislike him but I think you've made a good job of singling him out as the villain so far.

The part with Harry and Draco I LOVED. I loved the little banter they had going on at the beginning where all they did was insult each other. And the thing is, it makes total sense. I don't think there's ever a time when the two of them could even remotely get along, except if their children or families respectively were involved. But I do love the way you have portrayed them here, that even despite the darkness and the misery that's beginning to happen, the two of them can't just bury their differences and get on with things. I really like the way that Harry extended an olive branch at the end, thanking Draco for doing the right thing, and Draco attributes it to Astoria. I feel like these characters have an interesting, yet realistic and canons relationship and you've done a great job portraying that.

One other thing, before I go, that I really liked, was the way you said that Ron was Harry's best mate but Hermione was Harry's best friend. I thought that was really sweet and also true. It didn't downplay their relationship but it didn't hint at any gross Harry Hermione ship either (which I hate hate hate hate lol). I thought it was simply put and probably a true assessment of their relationship.

Overall another excellent, mind boggling chapter. Everything is developing so smoothly, I'm jealous at the way things seem to be unfolding for you. I wish I could be that dedicated to detail. It's like you know what's coming up next. Gah I need to plan my stories better. Fabulous job!!

Author's Response: I guess I've sat here staring adoringly at this review for long enough, hmmnn? Time to respond.

I really liked the idea of Astoria trying to stay interested while Daphne pilfers through the entire stock of clothes in some fancy boutique. It seemed like a good contrast to what's about to happen. I try really hard not to shy away from including different sort of characters with different sort of perspectives. I even tried writing Tonks from a first person PoV in Surrender to the Night. I think my number one comment I get on that one is, "Wait, you're a guy???" I guess I'm doing something right.

I remember that groggy, confused, "everything is not right with the world" feeling from waking up after I had my wisdom teeth cut out. Granted, that was over 20 years ago, but that sort of thing never really leaves you.

Yep, Flint is a sleaze. As the old saying goes, nobody comes out of prison better than the way they went in. I imagine you'll come to like him even less as the story progresses, but rest easy knowing that he'll get his just desserts at some point.

I really enjoyed writing the conversation between Harry and Draco. I think of them as having reached a point in life where they're able to insult one another in a civil tone of voice, without the argument turning into a duel. I don't think they'll ever *like* one another. But they can agree on certain things, such as the importance of keeping their family safe.

You know, I've gotten widely varying reactions to the comment about Hermione being Harry's best friend. After everything that happened during the year they were on the run from Voldemort, I don't think I'll ever see it any other way. Harry may think of Ron as a brother and Ron will always be his go-to guy for talking Quidditch over a few beers, but Hermione was the one who never left his side. She was the one who was ready to follow him into the Forbidden Forest and die with him. That goes a little beyond the relationship he has with Ron, I think.

I'm pleased as can be that you're enjoying the story. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I can't wait to hear from you again!

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