Reading Reviews From Member: Meleessuhh
52 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MeleessuhhFallen: Goodbye

19th May 2016:
Hello there! I'm here swapping from the Slytherin Hot Seat :)

I actually read this a while back when this challenge was around and cannot tell you how far my jaw dropped when I got to that ending. It was superb from beginning to end - how Draco is clearly the dominant in the relationship, how Hermione is emotionally invested in him, the descriptions, all of it is spot on. Very detailed in only the way smut can be. Awesome job! I don't read much smut because it's too fluffy for me with not enough plot, but this was so engaging all the way through with enough mystery for me to enjoy the scene and still try to piece the puzzle together.

I'll make sure to read more of your work! :)

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.

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Review #2, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 3rd Year - Impulses

5th May 2016:
Hi there! Sorry it took me a bit to get to your chapter, I started school again /:

I really loved this! I feel like we are started to get to the best parts of their childhood right before they are all full-blown teenagers. The Animagus bit was my favorite, did you research that or did you come up with it yourself? It definitely set the idea of how difficult it will be. I'm excited to see how long it'll take them to finish.

Oh no poor Adhara! What was he doing to her? I thought maybe giving her the Dark Mark but I'm not sure if he would have known that spell. Is she going to be okay? I am completely shipping her and Sirius though, so I hope that becomes a reality!

I love how Lily's 'hot headed' personality is starting to develop. She is coming out of her meek, sheltered Muggle-born phase and blossoming into the personality she is known by when she is older. You're doing an awesome job! The bit of magic that Severus showed her at the end was adorable, but I can't help but wonder when they're going to have their big fight.

This was a great chapter as always!! One of my favorites right now.

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Review #3, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 3rd Year - Hogwarts, Times Three

22nd March 2016:
Hello! I am SO sorry about the wait D: Life got hectic and I didn't have a secure enough wifi connection to leave a proper review.

I love how James and Sirius are coming along. Their friendship is blossoming along quite nicely, and it's adorable how they are starting to finish each other's sentences now.

Aahh no, Voldemort is striking already. I almost forget that he's around but you've sewn in his looming threat quite well. I'm curious, are you thinking of ending this once they graduate from Hogwarts or until each of the Marauder's dies?

That always line oh my goodness! So cute. I always feel a bit bad for Severus because of how he's treated, but it seems like he's already molding into his Death Eater ways, unfortunately.

Oh no Marlene has a crush on James. I wonder how that's going to play out since we all know he ends up with Lily. Is she going to get crushed or find someone else?

I loved this scene with James and Sirius talking to Remus! They almost remind me of Fred and George with how close they're becoming. I can't wait to see them become Animaguses (Animagi? What's the plural?)! When does that start??

Overall great chapter! Again I am soo sorry it took me so long! My apologies

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Review #4, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 2nd Year - The Uprising

28th February 2016:
Awe I'm so glad Matty's safe! The way Marlene reacted when she saw him was really cute. And the woman who was there, that was Bellatrix wasn't it?

That always line...that made me feel a lot of emotions. Lily and Sev's relationship is great when it's just them, but when other people are around it becomes a mess. I like how she stood up to him as well.

I hope we see more of Tonks! I like how you introduced her and Ted and Andromeda. Hopefully Regulus and Sirius grow closer instead of further apart. But when is Sirius getting his bike?

Great chapter! :)

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Review #5, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 2nd Year - Quidditch and Consequences

28th February 2016:
AAHH that cliffhanger! But first, let me start at the beginning! Haha

I'm glad Adhara didn't throw the game. Your Quidditch commentary was done very well and I like how she carries herself with the boys. Her and James make a great team, so I'm guessing they'll end up being great friends. I hope she's okay! I've been hit pretty hard but I can't imagine being smacked by a Bludger. The action was really well-written.

Oh no poor Marlene. I hope her brother is okay. You've been doing such a great job portraying the Marauder that I forgot there's a war going on.

James and Lily! I can feel that they're starting to like each other. I can't wait to see them interact more.

I'm really liking James so far. The friends he has are opening his eyes to another world, basically, and I love how he wants to help Remus in whatever way possible. I don't know much about how wizards become Animagi but I imagine it's incredibly difficult and painful. Ugh and again that cliffhanger! Haha now I have to keep reading!

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Review #6, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 2nd Year - Snowballs And Showdown

28th February 2016:
Hello again! I loved this chapter! It was a good length and not too short.

The opening scene with the snowball fight was adorable. I was nervous seeing Severus and his pre-Death Eater friends approach the situation and was so sad to see how it played out. They're so mean! But I loved how James stepped in and punched Mulciber for calling Lily a Mudblood. Even thought she didn't know what it means she knew that it wasn't a compliment. Seeing her stand up to Severus because of how he attacked James was great--she's starting to develop her "fiery personality" that we know from canon. I liked how Severus hesitated because even at their young age it is still obvious to use that he has feelings for Lily and cares about her, but he feels conflicted because of his friends.

Oh I do hope that Regulus and Sirius make up. I've always thought that Regulus had a lot of family pressure and was deeply hurt about Sirius being in Gryffindor that it strained their relationship but he truly wasn't bad. I'd love to see more of Regulus and his transformation to both sides.

My favorite part was where James, Sirius and Peter take the Invisibility Cloak to see Remus. Your interpretation of James, how he has always been spoiled and really doesn't know of anything but love suddenly realizes that most people aren't as fortunate as him. There are people like Remus who on the outside appear fine, but who are in difficult circumstances. This is the first time that he is realizing that not everyone has had it as great as he has, and you did an amazing job portraying that. Ugh but I can't help but feel bad for Remus! Poor thing.

Is Adhara going to throw the game? That was my first instinct when she first spoke to her brother. She's in a tough spot too, because she's young and wants to please her family. And I know it's early but...I ship Adhara/Sirius. Adhius, or Sirara :) haha

Overall great chapter! I think this is my favorite to date. Now I'm off to the next one :)

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Review #7, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 2nd Year - Quidditch and Queer Things

26th February 2016:
Hello hello! I actually read this a couple days ago but I wanted to leave a proper review haha.

I think Lily is just so cute and completely age appropriate. Of course she's asking a bunch of questions and she's curious--all of her friends know more than she does and she doesn't want to feel left out. I also see the tension beginning to build and the story coming together.

I liked the scene with Sirius and Adhara, even though it didn't go so well. I understand where she's coming from and know that Sirius is frustrated but still...he could be nicer! Haha but nicely done. And I thought it was great that she joined the Quidditch team. Am I sensing a little romance between her and Sirius when they're older? :)

Oh I absolutely LOVED the scene where they look for Remus! It was so sweetly done. Even though they're all still young it shows how incredibly loyal and accepting they are to their best friend. And poor Remus taken aback because he's used to be judged for it. Does this mean we'll see them turn into Animaguses soon?

I think your flow is great and your best asset is your characterization. It doesn't feel rushed at all; it is definitely on pace for their age and school year and the characters all feel different but interact together perfectly. I can't wait to read the rest of the chapters! So sorry it's taken me a while as well - life unfortunately gets busy. I'm off to the next one :)

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Review #8, by MeleessuhhEqual Measure Good and Bad: Musings

25th February 2016:
Hello again! I'm here for chapter three.

I have to say, I really like this story. The relationships are realistic particularly because they're adults now and it's nice to read. I loved the chocolate frog card that Ron found, I laughed at the description. Ron is more than just comic relief, he's actually pretty smart so I like how you're portraying him.

Oohh Goyle, I figured he hadn't changed. He's so rude. But nice touch!

What is Ron wanting to talk to Draco for?? I love how you've weaved a lot of the HP Universe into your story while still having original ideas. Very well done! :)

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Review #9, by MeleessuhhEqual Measure Good and Bad: Hearts are broken, Lives go on

23rd February 2016:
Hello again! I'm back for chapter two :)

Well I'll start out by saying that I like how far ahead this takes place in their lives. It's not the typical post-Hogwarts/Next-Gen story and the way you portray their relationships is great. It's not realistic to assume that the couples would be perfect this far ahead; after all, they have their kids and their careers and are probably in a strange rut. I like how Ron is pudgy though ;) haha

What does Goyle want? I like that Draco cut off ties with his old friends. I never considered him a bad guy really, he just did what he was told to because he figured that was easier. But are Narcissa and Lucius still together?

Ginny's nightmares make sense. She has always been portrayed as a strong-willed individual and I'm sure she would have a hard time talking about her past. And I love that Bill is in your story, he's an unerated character.

But what happened to George?? He's one of my favorites so I hope he didn't die, but is he going to make an appearance soon?

You flow well and I'm excited to read the rest! I like where this is going :)

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Review #10, by MeleessuhhChild of the Hunt: The Journey Begins: Don't Let Me Get Me

24th January 2016:
Hello I'm back!

So much happened here! I absolutely relate to Alex here, I switched schools in high school to one that was completely different than the one before and it was overwhelming. I can definitely see how she is frustrated, given everything that has happened to her in the last week, the culture shock and the overall unfriendliness of most people.

Oh I love Fred and George! Are they going to be regulars?

Interesting and great take on the Golden Trio. I thought Ron was spot on, and it makes sense for Harry to act like he didn't know what Alex was talking about when she mentioned a black dog. I'm not used to seeing Hermione in this point of view but I think you've gotten her down great as well. She's so bossy! Haha but it wouldn't be Hermione if she wasn't hounding people about following the rules. But who is this wolf they saw?

Ohh Snape is such a jerk. I think you did a phenomenal job with him, he's a hard character to write as well. I feel bad for Alex. She can't talk to anyone about her situation so it doesn't help her at all and she has the worst professor for her favorite class.

Although I'm sad because there is no next chapter! Is it in the queue? Is it almost ready?? I can't wait to read more!!

Author's Response: Heya, welcome back!

While I never change schools back in the day, my kids did and I drew on some of what they experienced. I'm glad to see that it translated well. The culture shock for Alex is a big thing and not something that will readily gotten over.

Yes, Fred and George will be making regular appearances, as will the Golden Trio. It's inevitable with Alex opting to be a Gryffindor. At the same time, this is Alex's tale. Sometimes her adventures dovetails with Harry's; many times they don't. At no point will Alex become the fourth member, turning them into the Golden Squad. In fact, Alex really doesn't think much of Hermione. Something about the rule-obsessed bossy younger girl rubs Alex the wrong way, and it probably has a lot to do with Alex's independent streak. But you'll see more of that later.

As for the wolf that was seen ... I think I'll let that remain a mystery for now. But rest assured it will be answered eventually.

And thank you! Severus Snape is by far my most favorite character in the HP series. I sweated through this part, first watching clips of Alan Rickman's performance (*sigh*) and then highlighting sections from the books before attempting to write Severus. He is perhaps the hardest character to write for me, closely followed by Dumbledore. So I'm thrilled that you think I did him justice.

The next chapter is, well, it's actually on my desktop, waiting on me to make the corrections my beta painstakingly pointed out. So are the two chapters that follow it. Truth be told, I've been procrastinating because my beta is merciless with that red quill of hers. No one else knows Alex's tale as well as my beta and she's not afraid to push me to write better; I count on her to do exactly that. So um, yeah, I probably should get back to facing the red quill and get the next chapter into the queue.



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Review #11, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 2nd Year - Hogwarts Express, Take Two

24th January 2016:
Hello again! So sorry for the delay but I'm back!

I think this is my favorite chapter so far! There was a lot going on without it being overwhelming. I liked the first scene with Adhara, who's afraid her family is ashamed of her. It was quite sad that her mother isn't sure whether her husband will talk to his daughter again, so I'm hoping she'll be alright.

The scene with Sirius and Regulus...oh that made me so sad! Poor Reg is only 11 and it is obvious that he loves his brother and wants to be best friends with him, but he loves his mother as well. And Sirius being the prat he is makes him feel bad for listening to their mother. When Regulus said it wasn't his fault she was treating Sirius that way and he still acted mean towards him, I felt awful for the kid. And now that he's being recruited early by Lucius, this will be very interesting. It makes sense though since he is a bit older, I'm curious to see when the transition to Death Eater starts.

What does the body signify? Is that Voldemort going on a killing spree?

The scene with the invisibility cloak! I loved it. James and Sirius' relationship almost reminds me of Fred and George in a sense because they're so close, except I think James and Sirius might be a bit more charming with the ladies once they're older. I can't wait to see what mischief they'll get into! Great chapter :)

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Review #12, by MeleessuhhChild of the Hunt: The Journey Begins: Torn Between Two Worlds

23rd January 2016:
Hahaha, I love the flying scene! How Alex corrects herself that they play Quidditch in Europe and not Quodpot, it reminded me how rugby is huge in Europe and not as much here. I'm a rugby player myself so I get the constant, "Girls play rugby? Isn't that like football?" questions all the time so this made me laugh quite loudly.

You've described the Sorting Ceremony very well. The Sorting Hat I think would be a difficult process because it's such an uncomfortable feeling and I could feel how uncomfortable Alex was during her mental assault haha. I had a feeling that she would be stuck between Gryffindor and Slytherin and that she'd pick Gryffindor because she wanted to stay away from Draco. The canon characters have flown in together nicely, and I'm excited to see how they interact!

I love Alex's nervousness and how she's naming all the professors. Sourpuss is a great name for McGonagall and Vulture for Snape. Dumbledore is a difficult character to write and I think you very well did him justice. The quiet authority figure that can silence anyone with his presence. I think it's interesting that Alex isn't great at Transfiguration, which makes me more curious as to what happens next. I wonder who the other AMA students are too and how she'll adjust at Hogwarts. And the comparisons to American/English schooling is great too!

Overall great chapter! The description and attention to detail was great as always and it flowed together smoothly. I can't wait to read the rest!

Oh and I love the Avatar: The Last Airbender reference! That's one of my favorite shows of all time (even though I may or may have not seen all of the last season...). Haha I love this story so much!

Author's Response: When I initially wrote the Quodpot vs Quidditch part, I was actually thinking along the lines of American football vs soccer, which is far more popular elsewhere in the world. But yes, rugby would be the same.

Yes, Alex got offered the choice between the two Houses. There are reasons for that - just look at some of Alex's previous actions. Flicking the tracer charm on the eye-seeing dog, wanting to be an Auror, not correcting the misconceptions others have regarding her shape-shifting, looking out for fellow students by asking the Yunwi to guide them out of AMA, trying to defend her mother against the Death Eaters. Alex has traits of both Houses, which is not surprising. She's neither the first nor the last Hogwarts student to have choice.

Alex arrives at Hogwarts without a lot of the prejudices other students had when they first entered, and with a totally different viewpoint. So she sees the professors with different eyes. And thank you - writing Dumbledore wasn't easy. I have to hear his voice in my head (and by this I mean Richard Harris' voice). If I can't hear him saying a line, then there's a problem with what I've written. There's only one other character I struggle as hard with as you'll see that next chapter.

As for Alex's problems with Transfigurations, well, not everyone can be good in every subject. There is a reason why she's not good with that one class, but it's not really discussed until much later in the story. Just suffice to say, she's going to have a difficult time. Classes at Hogwarts are not the same as they were in AMA.

The hot tea vs coffee is a bit of a running gag. I grew up in a family of coffee drinkers, but I only really started enjoying java when I hit my mid-20s. Before that it was hot tea, and I was the only one in the house who liked it. When I wrote about Alex mourning the lack of coffee, I knew I had to include Uncle Iroh's line. Glad you enjoyed it, too!

Thanks for stopping by. See you on the flip side!



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Review #13, by MeleessuhhChild of the Hunt: The Journey Begins: Where Do I Begin?

23rd January 2016:
Hello again! Sorry for the delay, I had to work longer hours this week :(

Your opening paragraph was very well written. I love the line where Alex is blinking owlishly, I can definitely picture it!

I adore Tonks! I don't read her much in fiction but I love her character. I hope she stays around! It's funny how they're all related, and although Alex just met them she's fitting in quite nicely. I'm curious how she'll fit in at Hogwarts.

I really liked the scene where Sirius is showing Alex the Black family tree. Sirius lived a rich, full life until he was in Azkaban and then escaped, so it makes sense that he's excited to meet someone new. He's been alone a long time, let alone with family. I could feel his excitement to have someone around, asking Alex to show her wolf form. Which brings me to ask, did she learn to be an Animagi like most do? Or does it have to do with her Cherokee jewelry? Does it only work when she's wearing it? I love hearing about the Native American magic--I can't wait to see more of it!

The scene where Remus steps in is interesting. Are they sharing memories? I've always seen Remus as the more introverted, quiet of the four Marauders, but I like that he's an alpha. He has been a werewolf for most of his life, after all. Is he going to turn up more often as well then?

Alex and Sirius' relationship is cute! I can't wait to read more! Great chapter :)

Author's Response: Hey, let's see if I can answer without my internet eating it this time. :p

I can assure you that you'll be seeing more of Tonks. She's going to be the DADA professor. But what about Umbridge, you ask? Eventually Umbridge does make her entrance, just not yet.

As for Sirius, yes, he is excited by the prospect of his new little cousin. Being sentence to stay within the confines of his parents' house has got to feel a little like prison again.

Ah, and Alex being able to shift forms ... by now you've figured out it has more to do with her bracelet than her ability to perform a complex Transfiguration spell. Quite frankly, she can't. The bracelet is also why Alex sees those glimpses of the werewolf lurking behind Remus' eyes. She is witnessing flashes of memories, but also encountering the presence of the werewolf. It is alpha to her, older and stronger. While Remus might be more of the quiet one for most of the month, he is a werewolf and it's always lurking right there beneath his skin.

Some of the memories Alex sees is from one of the other stories in my Child of the Hunt 'verse - Chasing Fireflies. That tale introduces Sarah Forsythe, an American Muggle werewolf who works for the USBMS. And before you can ask it, yes, Sarah does eventually make an appearance in Alex's tale.

Anyways, Alex is off to Hogwarts next, and if she's anything like the rest of the Black family, she's bound to get into trouble. :p



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Review #14, by MeleessuhhChild of the Hunt: The Journey Begins: Run Like Hell

18th January 2016:
Aaahh the suspense is growing! I couldn't resist and kept reading haha, your story has gotten me so hooked! What's with the tarot cards? Why does Alex have two birth certificates? Why didn't she know she had family! So many questions!!

Towards the end where she starts to become emotionally was written very well. I completely understand how that feels, where all of a sudden your feelings hit you out of nowhere but you don't want to cry and look weak. She's young too so of course she feels overwhelmed but she's used to being on her own so all of a sudden having people trying to help her can feel like it's too much. This is getting better and better, I can't wait to read the rest of your Child of the Hunt stories as well!

Author's Response: You noticed the tarot cards! *dances around* Yes, you found a clue to something, but it's far off in the future. Don't tempt me to divulge!

Yeah, by the end poor Alex can't keep her emotions in check. She goes from looking forward to the upcoming school year at AMA, to seeing her school destroy and her mom killed and being on the run to England. Then she's faced with the fact she has family, that there are people who are willing to care about her. The overload is too much. Luckily Remus and Sirius can sense this.

Alex won't have long to catch her breath, though. The school year at AMA might have been scheduled to start the following week, but Hogwarts already begun their term. Before she can start classes, Alex will have to face the Sorting Hat and as you can probably guess, that won't be easy.



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Review #15, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 1st Year - Broomsticks

18th January 2016:
Oh no Lily and Sev's relationship is starting to take a nosedive isn't it? I truly love how sweet and innocent their friendship is but I can't help but feel that it will slowly become very bitter. I've never understood why James and Sirius never liked Severus, but part of me wants to say because he was an easy target. Lily is starting to get stuck in a tricky spot, because she wants to be friends with the Gryffindors but at the same time keep her relationship with Sev, even when he becomes mean back to them.

Oh and I love how good Lily is at potions! It makes sense that she's thinking like a Muggle and it's going to her advantage. And the last part of the chapter with Adhara was sad as well but makes sense. They're still young and she comes from a proud family so of course she doesn't want anyone to know how upset she is. I really like Lily's innocence as well, and how she's becoming less hesitant to answer questions.

I really liked this chapter! Moving on to the next :)

Author's Response: Lily and Sev's friendship could have never lasted. I know JKR said that if he hadn't taken to Dark Arts, Lily might have returned his feelings. But I still think they are very different personalities, and I can't ever see them together, because though Snape seeked redemption he was still a mean git even when as an adult he knew better. He bullied Neville for no reason!
*sorry about the rant up there!*

But of course, nothing justifies what James and Sirius do to him.

Yes, Lily is starting to develop into a version of herself now, isn't she?

I love your reviews :) *hug*

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Review #16, by MeleessuhhChild of the Hunt: The Journey Begins: Witch Hunt

18th January 2016:
Wow what an action packed chapter! I was surprised that Alex's mother came along and that scene was so sad. I can feel how hurt she is that her mother abandoned her, but at the same time she doesn't want to completely hate her either, evidenced by the end when she's thinking "This was the woman who had abandoned her, this was the woman who had birthed her." Ugh I was so sad for her! And I was going to ask this earlier but I wanted to keep reading before I she related to the Blacks? And was that Bellatrix at the end? I was seriously on the edge of my seat throughout the whole chapter, it was intense!

Everything flowed so well and I actually don't think I have a favorite part because there was so much action going on. Again, I love all the Cherokee references and how well your world fits into the Wizarding World that we are all familiar with. It also makes a lot of sense that Alex isn't afraid of saying Voldemort's name, because just like she said it's not their problem. I think most people would have felt the same because it wasn't directly affecting them. But now that she sees that her mother was a Death Eater and somehow betrayed them...there's so much to know! I can't wait to read the next one!

I'm becoming more and more of a fan of yours the more I read! Haha this is great! :)

Author's Response: Hey there!

Yes after a quiet previous chapter, we see the reason why Alex was on a plane fleeing from her life at the beginning of the tale. There is a bit of a love/hate relationship between mother and daughter, yet despite that Alex still tries to save Adhara. It's an insight that runs counter to Alex transferring the tracer charm to a blind Muggle woman eye-seeing dog. As for whether Alex is related to the Blacks and if that was Bellatrix, well, you nailed it. Not that Alex knows anything about the Blacks, at least not yet.

Alex is like a lot of folks when it comes to things happening far away. If it's not in their back yard, it's someone else's problem. Part of this is due to her age and inexperience. She is about to get a bit of a culture shock when lands at ground zero, though.

Aww, and thanks - I'm definitely becoming more of a fan of your writing as well! Best review swap ever!


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Review #17, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 1st Year - Laying the Bricks

16th January 2016:
Hello again! I'm back :)

Oh Lily is the cutest. She's so kind to everyone and is humble at the same time, like when she's praised by Slughorn. She might be one of my favorites.

I haven't read much Slughorn, but I think you captured him well. To me he seems like a relatively nice guy but is easily distracted by status. The pause he had when he read Remus' name made me sad, but I'm glad he didn't say anything to embarrassing poor Lupin.

Mrs. Black is so rude! Haha that was a great scene. I loved how Phineas' portrait was in the background as well, adding to the fact that all of the House of Black were Slytherins. And Sirius' shining moment that made Dumbledore smile when he told his mother no, that was great! He's young but is already developing into his personality.

The last two scenes I think were my favorite. It makes sense that Remus' father had began teaching him magic years ago because they truly thought that he wouldn't be able to attend Hogwarts. You also write Peter very well, it's apparent that he's already starstruck by James and Sirius and is desperate to fit in. Although Remus is being nice to him by trying to be inclusive, it's already obvious that James and Sirius only want to be friends with Remus so I'm curious what their "moment" of friendship begins.

Another great chapter! I can't wait for the next :)

Author's Response: Nice to see you back here. and so soon too!

Yes, young Lily is a dear, isn't she?

Ah Ol' Sluggy isn't a bad sort, just likes a little bit of attention and connections. I'm sure we have all met aat least one person like him in our lives!

Ooh I kinda wanted Sassy Phineas to make an appearance. It's just more fun if he's around isn't it?

OMG you have made me so happy again! That I write Peter well is so comforting to know. It is my headcanon that Peter kinda slips right in.. very slowly that there isn't a strong moment that binds him to them. I really don't think Peter would be the kind to impress James and Sirius with any display of cheekiness or bravado, but his quiet presence starts being, well, comfortable to be around. If that makes any sense, LOL :P

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Review #18, by MeleessuhhChild of the Hunt: The Journey Begins: Welcome to My Life

16th January 2016:
Hello! I'm back for chapter two :)

Wow I cannot tell you how much I love how detailed this is! It just feels so authentic, with the Wizarding World combining so well with the one you've created. You have a knack for slowing down scenes and making them flow like if it is in real time, if that makes sense. While reading this chapter I felt that it had taken place in the amount of time it took me to read it. One of my favorite lines was:
"It was twilight, her favorite time of day. Neither fully day nor truly night, it held a mystical potential that made her blood sing. A handful of fireflies danced above the school grounds like earthbound stars mimicking those just starting to sparkle in the heavens above." With three sentences you managed to speak many words and it came out beautifully.

Alex seems like one of those cool kids that is perfectly fine by herself. She doesn't need anyone because she can take care of herself. All of the detail you added, such as her background information was written in seamlessly. I am very intrigued by Alex and like that she's independent. I also think it's funny how she calls Muggles Mundanes, I did see your response to a previous review on how it would be a very American thing to do and I agree. It is American to want to do things our own way, which you incorporated with how technology is allowed in certain areas of the school, which makes sense. I also like that this didn't immediately take place at Hogwarts, I am really liking all the information on AMA.

Also - I LOVE all the Native American folklore/cultural references you've included, it adds another layer of depth to the story. Again, you've made it feel so authentic by including the Yunwi's instead of House Elves which shows how "differently American" it is at AMA. It's all sewn in beautifully, and I not once felt confused. And the chupacabra reference made me laugh so hard! I was little when chupacabra sightings were popular but it reminded me of my childhood. And it absolutely makes sense that the annoying tabloid newspapers are actually wizard newspapers, that was a great bit as well. And I'm curious, why/how is it that Alex can turn into a wolf?

Great chapter! Sorry for the long ranting review haha I can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: Heya!

I think I warned you earlier that I have a penchant for details. Perhaps I should have warned that that I also have a love of leaving clues in those details. Sometimes those clues lead to events just around the corner, and at other times they are hints to something far off in the future of the story. For instance, Alex's actions with the tracer charmer last chapter? The reason becomes a little more clear when she arrives at Hogwarts. Her love of twilight, though, is one of those latter types. Don't look for that for a long time. The fireflies themselves are a subtle nod to one of the other stories in this series, Chasing Fireflies.

Contrasting AMA to Hogwarts is fun and at the same time important for later on when Alex crosses the pond. American culture is so different than British, although as a country we were established by them. Even so, we are quite distinct. It follows then that AMA would be very different, including the Yunwi. Speaking of which, they were a recent addition to the story when I started re-writing it. So you can't imagine how thrilled I am that you felt they were well incorporated. The fact that Alex has links to Native American culture via her stepfather was always there. And that's one of those things you'll hear more about as the story goes on.

As for the tabloids being wizarding newspapers, that was something I just thought would be quite ironic. All those Mundane/Muggle people unknowingly buying a magical papers. It makes it so that the world of magic just one step away from us, and I find that quite appealing.

I think that for now I'll decline in answering how Alex can transform into a wolf. But that's only because you'll find out in the next chapter. :p

Thanks for the lovely review! Hope to see what you think of the next chapter.


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Review #19, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 1st Year - First Impressions, Undone

16th January 2016:
Hello again! I'm here for round two :)

Again this was another sweet chapter. I feel the characterization is very well done, particularly for their age. They all sound so happy and carefree as it should be because they're so young. The scenes that stood out to me the most are the beginning where Lily is trying to reason with Severus since they're in separate Houses and when Remus offers Peter the bottom bunk. It was a kind gesture from him, which I think says a lot because he is someone that people discriminate against often because of his "furry little problem."

I also absolutely love your portrayal of Lily. I think that people develop into certain characteristics slowly and I've never imagined her as the feisty outspoken redhead until much later. It makes sense that she's quiet and lonely because she's overwhelmed. She's so relatable!

You are a wonderful writer. I'm very hooked on this already :)

Author's Response: Awww I'm so glad to hear that you're hooked on this story!

I'm happy you liked the Lily-Sev part. Of course Sev would sulk, and it would just make Lily feel worse, wouldn't it?

And yes, Remus does tend to be extra sensitive to other people, mostly because he probably is hyperaware of himself and his surroundings on account of his condition.

Ooh YES! You just GET Lily so perfectly well! I always wanted Lily to slowly develop into the person she became. Snape plays a bigger role in shaping her character than one would think :) At least my headcanon, and my plot for this story says that :)

Thank you so much for the compliment, and it means a lot coming from you :)

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Review #20, by MeleessuhhOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: Signed, Sealed and Delivered.

15th January 2016:
Hello there! I'm here for our multi chapter review swap :)

Ooh this honestly made me feel strangely emotional. I don't read much Marauder Era because I feel that the majority of stories are similar, so it's nice to read a story that's close to canon. Lily and Severus' scene was so sweet, I've always imagined Lily as someone full of light while Sev was the brooding, bitter one. it's done very well and I love how he is so eager to help her understand the Wizarding World. The way you described Walburga was very well done as well.

And then there's the scene with Lupin! I think this was my favorite part. I could clearly picture little Remus eager to go to Hogwarts but afraid to speak up because he knows of his condition. I think Dumbledore is a difficult character to write but you portrayed him flawlessly. Remus' parents' reluctance, his eagerness to go, it was very sweet to read.

The last two sections were a little shorter but I think that's okay. I particularly liked Peter's section, because I imagined him as a pudgy lonely kid too. Not necessarily bad, but mainly a child who was insecure and wanted to prove himself. The way Mrs. Pettigrew was excited for her son that she baked him a cake was cute as well.

Overall great chapter! I can't wait to read the rest :)

Author's Response: Hello Mel :D

I'm finally here with a reply :) Ah that's the problem with writing the Marauders, everyone has their hand in the cake and everyone has such strong feelings about the characters that I feel so insecure about it. But still, I can't imagine writing any other era.

Ahh writing Dumbledore was so very hard, I actually went back and read scenes from the book in order to write him well. And I enjoyed writing Remus too.

Ahh I'm glad you liked Peter's section as well. That was surprisingly easy considering I didn't want to write Peter in the first place and had to force myself to.

Thank you so much for the swap :D

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Review #21, by MeleessuhhEqual Measure Good and Bad: The Curse of the Stonehenge

15th January 2016:
Hello! I'm here for our multi-chapter review swap

I loved the opening scene. I felt the narration shift every time the scene changed, and in the opening scene I felt as if I was watching a movie (if that makes sense, like the Muggle's life was being narrated). It set the rest of the story up very well. I really like that he wasn't just a Muggle, he was a very smart Muggle who got duped by Stonehenge.

I love how Bill is included, he definitely doesn't get enough love. And the scene where Harry told him to show Hermione the tweets actually made me laugh pretty hard :)

I think Draco's scene was done well. I like him as a Healer, him knowing about that type of Dark Magic makes sense, and he is smarter than he comes across. He seems to be heading in a good direction.

Overall I think this is a great first chapter. It flows smoothly and there's a lot of mystery (how are curses broken anyway?). I'm really intrigued and can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks Melessuhh for a great review. I am really really sorry for being so late about the review swap. Just that health and real-life has been keeping me really busy of late. I promise I shall do one today before I sleep and will do another one for free because of my tardiness. :)

I really wanted to get the effect of the movie, not just in this chapter but in my entire story. Like you are in the midst of some great thriller movie and you see flashes of action from the POV of different characters. Thats something I have tried to do throughout this story.

Draco is my star in this story. No doubts about that.

Waiting to hear more from you.


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Review #22, by MeleessuhhChild of the Hunt: The Journey Begins: In a New York Minute (Prologue)

14th January 2016:
Hello! I'm here for our multi-chapter review swap

First of all, I have a strong feeling that this is planned out very well because of the attention to detail (how Alex is emancipated, etc) and I find that very refreshing in stories. There is an abundance of mystery but not too much, enough to definitely keep me reading.

You have a wonderful way with words. Your sentences are tactful and to the point, while at the same time flowing with flawless description which I feel is rare.

I think the scene where Alex throws the tracer charm onto the blind woman's dog is very telling. She's young, she's been through a lot and she's doing what she needs to to survive, which I think is a normal reaction. Since there's no mention of her father, I feel that she is wanting to take care of herself more than anything.

Overall great first chapter! You are an excellent writer.

Author's Response: Hello!

I have to admit I was surprised you'd take on Alex's story for the review swap, and that if I'm being honest, that I'm a bit apprehensive, too. This is the one story that I can honestly say I've very close to. I started writing it back in 2006/2007, got about 200K words and 42 chapters into it, and then abandoned the tale when I went on a prolonged hiatus. It's also the story that brought me back to the HP fandom when I rediscovered it on an old hard drive.

So when you said that you have a strong feeling that it was planned out, you were right on the money. I put a lot of thought into this AU world, both when I was initially writing it and most recently as I've been re-writing it. In fact about a month ago I wrote a 4-page note to my beta on just the background story. To say it has consumed me would not necessary be incorrect.

But I digress.

Yes, the tracer charm scene is very telling and was not randomly added. In moments of duress, we reveal aspects of ourselves that we might not realize, or might not otherwise care to show others. The same is true of Alex. She was forced by circumstances to think quick on her feet. Perhaps had she not been on the run, she would have chosen a different tact. The lack of any mention of Alex's father was also deliberate. She very much has had to rely on herself and this becomes more evident as the tale continues.

The next chapter shows the events that led up to Alex being on the run. I can't wait to see what you think. Thanks for the opportunity to do a swap!


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Review #23, by MeleessuhhMissed Connections: Missed Connections

20th December 2015:
Hello there! This is Melissa for our review swap :)

I don't normally read Next-Gen but I wanted to read something different and you definitely didn't disappoint! It flows so smoothly from the beginning to the end, and for being a one-shot I was hoping for Rose and Scorpius to be together in every section. There were several twists and turns, from the first time Scorpius met Kala, to when Rose got married, to Kala's death up until the very end. Their friendship is very realistic and sweet, they always had an understanding for each other despite their feelings; they managed to remain close instead of upset or bitter when the other went a different way in life.

Even when the segments were short they had a strong impact. Each one was a significant event of their life, and it almost felt like it was a long trailer for a movie (If that makes any sense? Haha). There were several different points where I just went "GAH!" because I wanted them to say something and be together already. Seriously, this was beautifully done. And I love how they're both in Hufflepuff! That explains a lot of their personalities and fit perfectly with the story. Nice job! :)

Author's Response: Hi Melissa!

Thanks for the swap! I'm really glad you liked this. It took me quite a while to write and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

I'm so happy you thought each segment had a big impact. I wrote a bunch more scenes than are here and spent a long time putting them all together and deciding which ones would make the final cut. I actually have twice as much material as is even shown here.

Rose and Scorpius are my true love. And I had such a fun time writing them as sweet Hufflepuffs. With the loyalty they show in their friendship and the unwavering love and kindness they show towards each other no matter what, I figured they couldn't possibly be anything else but Hufflepuffs.

Thanks again for the review!


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Review #24, by MeleessuhhBruises : Bruises

26th March 2015:
Hello there! This is Melissa for our review swap - I am so SO sorry I took so long! I got swamped with work and homework

First of all, I really liked the time placement. It didn't feel like a beginning exactly, it felt like it was a continuance of another story but it was still easy to follow. Most stories I've read have the typical introduction and love story build up, but your characters are already in a relationship so that was a nice change. I love the name Emmeline by the way! It's so pretty and suits her personality from what we've seen so far.

Your characterization is great, your pace and flow are smooth and it's captivating as well. Sirius seems so sweet to her, not the usual arrogant jerk we're used to seeing him as haha. That also shows how close they are so their relationship is probably serious. I'm curious thought how close is she to Dumbledore? Is that something we'll see more of soon? Your last paragraph is also so beautifully written and could not be more true. I definitely enjoyed this, I can't wait to read any more stories you come up with! :)

- Melissa

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Review #25, by MeleessuhhPitch Black Night: Chapter 1

18th March 2015:
Hi there! This is Melissa for our review swap :) sorry it took so long! I got backed up with work/homework/life

First of all, I really liked that it was in second person point of view. It's a lot more challenging than writing in another point of view because it feels unnatural. You had a nice vivid flow that was constant throughout the whole story. You could really feel how nervous Sirius was and it was easy to follow that he was headed to the Whomping Willow.

I haven't read much slash especially because I feel like it tends to get too fluffy, but I honestly couldn't even tell that this was your first attempt at it. It didn't come off as too cheesy and definitely felt realistic. It was sweet and romantic without feeling like it was too much. You've done a great job introducing the story and characters, I can't wait to read more!


Author's Response: Hi Melissa!

No worries. Life happens for everyone. I'm actually running a bit late on returning a swap as well. :(

2nd person POV is definitely a challenge. This was actually the first time I've ever written in it. I'm glad that it came across as easy to follow. I was worried I might accidentally over complicate it.

I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that my story seemed realistic. I tried really hard to think of how men act when they are feeling any emotion...and then incorporate that in the story.

Thank you so much for such a kind review!


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