Reading Reviews From Member: Meleessuhh
35 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MeleessuhhBruises : Bruises

26th March 2015:
Hello there! This is Melissa for our review swap - I am so SO sorry I took so long! I got swamped with work and homework

First of all, I really liked the time placement. It didn't feel like a beginning exactly, it felt like it was a continuance of another story but it was still easy to follow. Most stories I've read have the typical introduction and love story build up, but your characters are already in a relationship so that was a nice change. I love the name Emmeline by the way! It's so pretty and suits her personality from what we've seen so far.

Your characterization is great, your pace and flow are smooth and it's captivating as well. Sirius seems so sweet to her, not the usual arrogant jerk we're used to seeing him as haha. That also shows how close they are so their relationship is probably serious. I'm curious thought how close is she to Dumbledore? Is that something we'll see more of soon? Your last paragraph is also so beautifully written and could not be more true. I definitely enjoyed this, I can't wait to read any more stories you come up with! :)

- Melissa

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Review #2, by MeleessuhhPitch Black Night: Chapter 1

18th March 2015:
Hi there! This is Melissa for our review swap :) sorry it took so long! I got backed up with work/homework/life

First of all, I really liked that it was in second person point of view. It's a lot more challenging than writing in another point of view because it feels unnatural. You had a nice vivid flow that was constant throughout the whole story. You could really feel how nervous Sirius was and it was easy to follow that he was headed to the Whomping Willow.

I haven't read much slash especially because I feel like it tends to get too fluffy, but I honestly couldn't even tell that this was your first attempt at it. It didn't come off as too cheesy and definitely felt realistic. It was sweet and romantic without feeling like it was too much. You've done a great job introducing the story and characters, I can't wait to read more!


Author's Response: Hi Melissa!

No worries. Life happens for everyone. I'm actually running a bit late on returning a swap as well. :(

2nd person POV is definitely a challenge. This was actually the first time I've ever written in it. I'm glad that it came across as easy to follow. I was worried I might accidentally over complicate it.

I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that my story seemed realistic. I tried really hard to think of how men act when they are feeling any emotion...and then incorporate that in the story.

Thank you so much for such a kind review!


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Review #3, by MeleessuhhTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : The Calm Before The Storm

25th August 2014:
Ahh I'm so glad this was finally up!

I really like Hermione and Sirus' relationship, I think they compliment each other well, definitely a lot better than her and Ron. I like the little details you put in, like how James and Sirius remind her of Harry and Ron and the bike they were really nice touches :) I wonder what Moody is going to train her for? Does he know what's going on then?

I have one question though I thought James was the Seeker when he was at Hogwarts? Maybe I'm wrong haha. I loved how Regulus was the Slytherin Seeker and Sirius took him out, it portrays their brotherly rivalry well haha. But I can't figure out what Snape wants! I have a feeling it's going to be bad though.

Keep up the good work! Update sooner :)


Author's Response: Hey Melissa!

I absolutely love writing the relationship between Hermione and Sirius, so I'm so happy that you're enjoying it! I think they are a good balance for one another. Aww I'm glad you liked that with the bike. :) I thought that would be a really sweet way of incorporating Sirius getting his motorcycle (eventually). Moody is going to start them all with some of the training he give the Aurors. The only people who know who Hermione really is, are Sirius, James, Lily, Peter, Lupin, Dumbledore, and now, Snape. The rest of The Order still believe her to be Hermione Winters. But who knows? They may find out at some point... ;)

James was only a Seeker in the first film. In the books, it's stated that he was a Chaser. So I guess you could really go either way with that. As for Sirius, I think it's just head-canon that he was a Beater. I haven't ever found any solid proof of that, one way or the other. Harry noticed, in the sixth book, that Regulus was a Seeker, from where he was sitting in the team picture Slughorn had. :) But I really wanted Sirius to be the one who knocked him off his broom haha.

As for what Snape wants to see Hermione about... Well I guess you're just going to have to read on to see. :p It may not be *all* bad...

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I truly appreciate it!! And I *promise* the next chapter will not take nearly as long.

xoxo Meg

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Review #4, by MeleessuhhThe Lost Wolf: Atoms For Peace

12th August 2014:
Hello again! :)
So I remember a while ago I started reading this but couldn't finish because my computer froze. But now I found it again and I'm hooked :)

Your insights with your characters feel so personal, like a diary almost. It becomes much easier to connect with them this way because it feels more emotional rather than observant. I also love Cassie's character development; I feel like she's finally starting to feel better about herself and realizing how beautiful she is inside and out. And I'm glad she's reunited with Remus :)
But how is Dora going to help? I know this takes place on Prisoner of Azkaban where time traveling is going to take place, so will we see any of that?

Update soon! Great work and amazing storyline I can't wait for more :)

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Review #5, by MeleessuhhThe Lost Wolf: I Might Be Wrong

12th August 2014:
Can I tell you how happy I am that you decided to include Tonks in this? I love Tonks! But I feel like she isn't written about much. I love the details you put in about how she was popular but didn't have any friends because she was almost like a sideshow--nice to look at but not someone anyone cared to
know about. It also makes sense that since she's Sirius' cousin she'd be seen as a sort of outsider. It's a nice touch and something I've never thought about before.

Also, your POVs inside the character's heads is soo good. I love how you portray Sirius; he's rugged and handsome and brave on the outside but on the inside he's a deeply insecure man who is struggling coming to terms with himself. He's usually portrayed as a vain and somewhat selfish character, so I like the change :)

Really good chapter! On to the next one :)


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Review #6, by MeleessuhhThe Lost Wolf: Kid A

12th August 2014:
Hello again! :)
So I have to say you sure know how to keep readers entertained! I love how you format your flashbacks into your chapters, you do it so effortlessly without being overbearing or confusing. When Sirius said that those weren't normal scars, I thought of Snape and that Sectumsempra curse he used, thinking he may have hurt Cassandra because he's so prejudiced. But I really don't know! The way you portray her is done so well, she's such a relatable character because she is in tune with her insecurities but knows her strengths as well. Sorry this review is so jumbled my wifi is out so I'm on my phone :( haha but great chapter! I can't wait til I get to the end!


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Review #7, by MeleessuhhThe Lost Wolf: In Limbo

10th August 2014:
Hi again! I have to say, this is so naturally and beautifully written. I feel so bad for Cassandra because it's obvious she doesn't want to be ashamed of her appearance but she's clearly a beautiful person. She seems so sad and lonely! I love how you're not shy at al by portraying her insecurities, it makes her very realistic and relatable.

At first I thought that perhaps Lupin attacked her and she was a werewolf, but then realized that doesn't make sense. Did Sirius attack her? I'm so so curious! I'm definitely going to keep reading, this is very captivating. Awesome chapter, I can't wait to finish the rest! :)


Author's Response: Hi again!

Aw, thank you! I wasn't too sure about this chapter, I wanted to attach it to the previous one, but then I would have ruined its ending.. Well, I'm glad it turned out alright!

Unfortunately I can't reveal you anything, of course ;), but I assure you, everything will be explained in the future!

Thank you again for reading my story!!

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Review #8, by MeleessuhhThe Lost Wolf: A Wolf at the Door

10th August 2014:
Hello there! This is Melissa returning the favor :)

Wow! Your opening scene is so captivating. You clearly show how traumatized Cassandra is without giving away too much. You show the despair so well, how she feels like a lost outsider by the man she grew up believing was supposed to be a father figure. I absolutely loved this chapter, and I already love Cassandra. I really like how she's not the typical beautiful/perfect character, she's scarred and battle worn. I'm really curious to see how she progresses, can't wait to read the rest :)


Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story!

I am so glad you liked the opening scene and you don't think Cassandra is stereotyped. I am working hard to make her as round as possible, so it's fantastic to read that you liked her!

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Review #9, by MeleessuhhThe Monopoly on Honour: We shall live in song

8th August 2014:
Hello there! Sorry it took me so long to review I had a long week =/

Your opening scene is just beautiful, I am so very jealous of your writing style. You flow effortlessly, and it doesn't sound forced at all.

I like the twist that Lucius is questioning whether he loved Narcissa, since they are usually seen as a couple who was once and is likely still in love. I am also very curious as to what the plan is, and I like your portrayal of Astoria a lot.

Your story is very interesting! Update soon :)


Author's Response: Hi Melissa!

Don't worry about it, happens to us all :)

Thanks for your comment about the opening scene - originally it was just a brief mental impression of a hand touching a letter on a mantlepiece, and the whole chapter sort of grew out of that!

On Lucius/Narcissa - I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist! With everything else happening to them, I didn't think it was realistic not to do it, if that makes sense.

Yay! The plan. :) It should be very good, hopefully. A real bombshell, but coherent with his character - or that's the plan, anyway, and I hope I can pull it off!

The next chapter should be in the queue soon. I'm excited about it - new characters get introduced, and they are some of my favourites.

Thanks so much for your review, it really means so much. Off to return the favour and review your stuff now :)

Celi :)

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Review #10, by MeleessuhhThrough The Darkest: A Case Worth Waiting For

8th August 2014:
Hello there! This is Melissa for our review swap :)

First of all you have a beautiful introduction; the way your words flow is flawless, and I am very jealous haha. I like the opening scene very much because it is not clear what the mystery potion is. I thought it could've been Veritaserum because of the color, but I'm pretty sure I'm wrong.

I like your description of Hermione. She's a little older, mature and confident but still human. I like your OC as well and her interaction with her mother, she's very likable and I'm excited to see her develop.

The biggest mystery is, why would Ginny leave? It sounds like she's hiding a big secret, and after the first chapter I really want to know the truth! Haha. Really good read, amazing job :)


Author's Response: Hi there Melissa! It was really fun swapping with you! :D

Thanks! I used to be really bad at description stuff, but then I put on a little hard work on it and now it feels lovely when I get such compliments. :) Don't be jealous! Anyone can do it. :)

I absolutely love to hear theories! Veritaserum was a nice guess, by the way. ;) But I can't say much about that right now as I don't want to spoil the mystery.

I'm so glad you liked both of them! Hermione is my most favorite character from the series and Cress is the best OC I've written about too.

Keep reading to know more! You have six more chapters to go. :D

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #11, by MeleessuhhThe Protector: The Protector

8th August 2014:
Aww. I thought that was written really sweetly. I think Percy gets a bad rap a lot because he's the brother that abandoned his family for success, but you did a good job exemplifying why he did it. I particularly liked the paragraph when he's screaming but isn't sure if he really is because of the chaos surrounding him. You're closing scene was good as well, it portrayed his character perfectly. Really nice job :) I enjoyed it a lot


Author's Response: Hi, Melissa!

I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I definitely wanted to redeem Percy with this, as he's hated by so many, and try to bring some attention back to his finer times. Thank you so much for the read and review :)

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Review #12, by MeleessuhhCrossing Delicate Boundaries : Nobody Likes a Liar

4th August 2014:
Ooh I knew she was lying! And does this mean that this will be the beginning of their relationship? Good chapter, update soon! :)

Author's Response: Will do! Thank you so much and yes, they decided to be friends but that's it for now it's draco so it will take awhile :)

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Review #13, by MeleessuhhThe Monopoly on Honour: When Love absents itself

29th July 2014:
Hello there! I'm returning the favor and reviewing your story :) I read both chapters since those are the only two you have up :)

I like your introduction a lot, it is simple yet dramatic. I love how you switch from third person to first, it keeps the story flowing without sounding choppy. I normally don't like reading stories that have that throughout because it's hard to execute, but you've done a really good job with it.

I think it's cute how Astoria and Draco have known each other since they were kids, it gives the story a romantic vibe without being too mushy. Also little Draco is adorable, trying to be like his dad haha.

The scene were Lucius is crying is pretty sad; he's not a character that is normally associated with much emotion, but he is still human and you did a fine job portraying that they're afraid and unsure about the future. Narcissa is typically more emotional but I like that she was standing up to her husband. I like your portrayal of the Greengrasses as well; not much is known about them so it leaves a lot of room for creativity. You've made them clearly aristocratic but not snobbish like the Malfoys which is a nice twist. I would also like to see some Draco point of view, I think that would be very interesting :)

Really the only suggestion I have is to possibly make the chapters a little shorter and have the formatting be almost like a short story, with possibly a different side being shown (like what the rest of the world sees them like). I don't know if that made any sense though haha. But keep up the good work! Update soon :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review :) I hadn't really thought about the switch of POVs, I just wrote it in a way that felt right, so it's really nice to know that it works for the reader :)

Yeah, I liked that scene with Lucius as well - he is one of my favourite characters :) I spent a lot of time on that particular scene, trying to get it right :) You will see some more of Draco's point of view in upcoming chapters, hopefully (I have planned it).

Thanks so much for your review, it's really kind of you :)


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Review #14, by MeleessuhhCould Be Magic : The Eye-Q

25th July 2014:
I'm not going to lie, I wasn't sure what to expect because I've never really thought about this type of scenario but you definitely nailed it. I love that it is in Aspen's point of view because we get to really see what his world is like. Great job! I'm definitely looking forward to more :) update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I've never seen this type of scenario around so I thought I'd give it a try... I'm glad you liked it and please stick around for the rest :)

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Review #15, by MeleessuhhProdigy: Decisions

21st July 2014:
Hi there! I think you're off to a good start--even though Nelly is shy and kind of awkward, she still acts like a Slytherin. Update soon :) keep up the good work

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #16, by MeleessuhhHermione Granger and the Dead Man's Mark: Chapter One

21st July 2014:
I have a question, are you a criminal justice major/enthusiast? Because you wrote the prison scenes very well, along with basically everything in the chapter. I always wondered about tattoos as well and if they could move like portraits do. Your concept is really interesting, I can't wait to read more. Update soon :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I don't have any formalized knowledge of detention centers, but I did do a little quick research as I was writing this, as well as watching a few favorite prison films in the background. :)
The next chapter is awaiting validation and will be up soon!

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Review #17, by Meleessuhh'Till Death Do Us Part: The Painful Escape

21st July 2014:
Ahh darn I knew that something really bad was going to happen as soon as Lucious came in! Is Draco going to go crazy and blame Hermione for the miscarriage since she let them go?? I can't wait to read the next chapter! And I know haha it's okay I know validation times have been pretty long :) nice job!

Author's Response: Lucius = bad news. Simple equation. Simple maths. LOL DRACO, ah, well, all I can say is you won't find out his reaction until a couple of chapters later & that is ALL i will say. And mucho thank yous for your understanding about the validation times. ANYHOW! Thanks for R&R! XOXO

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Review #18, by MeleessuhhStubborn Roots: Crossing Paths

18th July 2014:
Hi there! I think you're off to a good start. I like your OC a lot, she already seems relatable and realistic. What's James up to, did he get his heart broken or something? Update soon :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much, you're my first review!!! :) I wanted to create a realistic OC so that the story had a few more links to the Muggle world. There's a lot more to be revealed about Willow and James, so stay tuned! Waiting for my beta to get back to me, then the next chapter will be sent for validation! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoy it! Keep sending me reviews, I love to hear fellow fans' opinions!

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Review #19, by MeleessuhhMarauder Follies: Chapter I: The Full Moon & the Morning After

17th July 2014:
Hi there! I think you're off to a really good start. Your descriptions are great and your characterization is really good too. I like how realistic Remus is and I'm excited to see some interaction with Sirius and his brother. Update soon!

Author's Response: Hello there!!

Thanks for such a lovely review. The Marauders are four of my favorite characters, and it's so wonderful to hear that I've done a good job portraying them so far.

You'll definitely see some more of Sirius and Regulus, although I can't promise it will all be pleasant (:

I have about fifteen chapters written, so it should be updated pretty frequently! Thanks again for stopping by!!

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Review #20, by Meleessuhh'Till Death Do Us Part: "Tonight We Leave"

15th July 2014:
Hmm if I remember correctly you hinted that you'd be updated more often? This felt like such a long wait! Haha but really, good chapter. I like their dialogue a lot because even though Draco is still a stubborn little prat it's clear he loves Hermione. Way to keep the suspense going! :) update sooon!

Author's Response: Yes, I did =/ I am sorry! I had a challenge and the validation times are slightly long right about now. It WAS a long wait, I won't deny it. BUT I am super glad you liked! You hit Draco right on the nose! LOL You are 100% right about him. And more suspense coming your way. And next chappie is in validation already.

Thanks for R&R! XOXO

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Review #21, by MeleessuhhVulnerability : Mark in the Sky

11th July 2014:
Hi there! Sorry it took me a couple days to review I had a lot going on haha.
So I like this chapter a lot, and if I remember correctly in the book it's Barty Crouch Jr. that conjures the Mark and blames it on Winky but I haven't read the book in a while so I'm not sure. I really like your OC and how you have a banner/graphic at the beginning of each chapter. Keep up the good work! Update soon :)

Author's Response: Thank you I really appreciate your review and haha I work really hard on those banners/graphic haha I'm glad you like them and my OC!:)

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Review #22, by MeleessuhhMy Most Faithful: Prisoner

10th July 2014:
So I never read stories with tons of reviews because they get sloppy and take too long to read, but I have spend TWO (2!) days reading your fic because it has been absolutely intriguing from the start. I get tired of reading stories that Tom could have loved because it was literally impossible and you have nailed his character since the beginning. Your character development is amazing and your fluff/romance is done strategically (I have a hunch he knows Anne loves him so he's repulsed by it but kisses her to control her). I haven't even written these last two days because I couldn't stop reading! Haha. I also noticed that you started this in 2009 so I commend you for sticking to it and hope you don't take too long to update. I am super jealous at how phenomenal you are! You've been patient and have let the story flow effortlessly. I have one question though, how old is Anne now? I know she's telling the story from her memory so I'm guessing she's a lot older. At first I thought she could be dead since it started such a long time ago, but then Tom brought up the horcruxes I became pretty positive she made at least one--because death is one of the things she seems to fear. Anyways, amazing job!! Update soon :)

P.S. I think we might be the same age? I thought I saw you mention somewhere you graduated high school in 2011 haha.

Author's Response: Ahhh reviews like this seriously make me so happy! I'm thrilled you took the time to read my story (Don't worry, I took a HUGE break after the first chapter because I didn't think abyone would read the story. I'm slow, but not THAT slow!)
Anywhoo, thanks for noticing all the little things. Writing a character that can be as cruel as Tom is tough, but I think it's worth it to create an interesting story! Anne is indeed older, but I don't think I'm gonna share her ending just yet muwahahah
Thanks again for the review, I hope you keep giving me your feedback! More soon :) I'm 21 btw...too old for Harry Potter? I think not.

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Review #23, by MeleessuhhCrossing Delicate Boundaries : Black Robes and Roses

7th July 2014:
Is Astoria faking her pregnancy?! Also, was that Pansy's long-lost sister that is going to be important soon?! Haha but seriously, good chapter and good pace. I think Ron's frustrated because he expected to be let off kinda easy especially since they've known each other for so long. I reckon Hermione will start giving him the cold shoulder and warm up to Draco haha. Update soon! :)

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you for reading and you will find out about Astoria soon enough; )

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Review #24, by MeleessuhhVulnerability : The Quidditch World Cup

7th July 2014:
She likes George then, am I right?! Haha I really love how you're following the books so closely yet have your own original flair to it. I'm excited to see what happens once the school year starts since the books never showed much of Fred and George's point of view. Keep up the good work! :)

Author's Response: Haha thank you so much! I really appreciate your review, glad you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it!

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Review #25, by Meleessuhh'Till Death Do Us Part: Just Run

2nd July 2014:
I knew he was going to run away! But where to? And can Rabastan be trusted? Update soon this is getting so good! :)

Author's Response: WOW! You are the only one who called it then! Those questions will soon be answered! I promise to update soon. Thanks for R&R! =D

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