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Reading Reviews From Member: BellaLestrange87
  
158 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BellaLestrange87The Next Great Adventure: Prologue: An Old Friend

29th April 2017:
Hey there! I'm here for CTF!

KAITLIN NO

WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME

WHY

*sobs*

As I sit here with my box of tissues ugly crying about this, I must note this is really well written. Your characterization of Harry is spot on and feels just like J.K Rowling wrote him.

I love the part where he says that he would greet death like an old friend. Dumbledore is definitely not the nice perfect mentor that he seemed to have been in the early books, but that is one of the best pieces of advice that you can get: don't be afraid of death, because it will come.

And then super amazing authors will break your heart with it. *glares*

I really like how you set the scene for his death; how even though his body wasn't decaying at all his mind was, and how he just couldn't bring himself to get up out of bed.

I also like how you didn't have Harry make a giant, dramatic speech before dying. That's one of my pet peeves - when a character is on their deathbed and then is like "super epic speech that goes on forever and ever, prolonging my death. Why am I still talking? Who knows." Harry saying "I love you. All of you" was a lot more effective and more heartbreaking *wipes eyes*

SERIOUSLY WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME

I feel like it's really significant that Ginny is the last thing Harry sees before he dies. Because she's been the light of his life for - how long did you say they were married? - eighty two years and even if Harry has to die *stares* something that makes his happy should be the last thing he sees.

Much as it made me sad, I really enjoyed this, and I'll be back to read more after CTF (and hopefully leave you more intelligible reviews).

~Olivia

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Review #2, by BellaLestrange87Upping The Ante: Save A Broom

27th April 2017:
Hi there! I'm here for CTF!

First of all, I'm just going to mention that I love the fact that Alexandra is not a morning person, and that she is falling asleep in potions class. I mainly love that fact because I am not a morning person and I would totally fall asleep in potions class.

Anyways *coughs* moving on...

I love how Lily is an enthusiastic lover of tea. Also, your use of foreshadowing here, in the first scene in Potions. We know why Lily would want to avoid talking about Severus Snape, but I am totally intrigued about why Alexandra would want to avoid talking about her family. Were they not a good family? Did she run away? Did they all die? LET ME KNOW I MUST KNOW

Hmmm. her conversation with Sirius was very interesting. I love how sassy and sarcastic she is when she talks to him, and how she doesn't roll over and take his attitude lying down. Also, his mispronunciation of her name is surely intentional - you don't go to school with somebody for years, have classes with them for years, and get their name wrong.

I love the banter between them as they head down to the pitch - the conversation about brooms. It sounds like the banter that goes back and forth between members of my frisbee team. Also, that practice sounds hellish and I would not want to do that at all. For heaven's sakes, they sit on brooms, surely they don't need to be in that great a shape?

Also, that last bit with Amos Diggory... hm. I feel like she's going to become attracted to Sirius but that scene with Amos was very interesting. Why did she feel the need to make up the existence of a Charms club?

I noticed a typo:

Silver Arrows had been big in there day - in their day

This was a really good first chapter and I'll be back to review more after CTF!

~Olivia

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Review #3, by BellaLestrange87Sweet Sorrow: Only A Memory

27th April 2017:
Hi there! I'm here for CTF!

I love your descriptions in here. They're so beautiful and vivid and I can picture everything perfectly. You've done a really great job there. Also, the way you've written the progression of their relationship was really well done - it felt really natural.

I thought the sentence here - Unfortunately, when summer arrives, I go home without a friend. I'm more than fed up with you since the time we first met. I'd curse you to the next century if you dare ask me out again. - to be really interesting. I wonder whether or not Lily blamed James and Sirius for the fact that she isn't friends with Sirius anymore. Because they bullied Snape and he snapped out at her in frustration? Even if they didn't directly say the word Mudblood, they still instigated that whole chain of events.

To be entirely honest, I'm really grateful that you've included the author's note at the end explaining everything. I'm sure that it's probably just the fact that this is the end of the week for me and my brain has stopped functioning properly *rolls eyes* but I'm happy that you wrote exactly what it was that was happening. So is this a Lily and Harry live AU? Or a James dies sometime else AU?

I noticed one small grammar error:

but you've only harden mine. - you've only hardened mine

I really love your writing and I'll be back to read the rest of your stories after CTF!

~Olivia

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Review #4, by BellaLestrange87Paper Cuts: Daisy Chains

27th April 2017:
Hi there! I'm here for CTF!

Oh man. This was so poignant. You've done an amazing job with bringing depth to Petunia's character; this explains a lot of her behaviour throughout the series. And I can start to feel a lot more sympathy for her now.

Yes, why would Dumbledore send a letter? He should have been there in person, considering the gravity of his news. "You now have to take care of your nephew for sixteen years, surprise!" is definitely not something that should have been conveyed through a letter.

I love the part where Petunia demanded that Dumbledore fix the fact that Lily was dead magically, so that she would be alive again. I think that explains why she hates magic so much in the books - because the one time it would have helped her (restored her sister to life), it couldn't have (at least not magic that Dumbledore would have been willing to practice - dark magic might (twistedly, of course) have been able to accomplish that).

And the part about Petunia promising to protect and look after Lily, made when she was a little kid and Lily was a baby! That was sadly ironic, because Petunia couldn't possibly have protected Lily from Voldemort; he would have killed her just as easily as he killed James. I love the sadness it gives Petunia, though - not only did she lose her sister, but she failed in her promise to protect her baby sister from the world.

I really enjoyed this one-shot, and it was so good. I'll be back to read more of your stuff after CTF!

~Olivia

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Review #5, by BellaLestrange87The Howler: The Pun Also Rises

27th April 2017:
Hi there! I'm here for CTF!

I really love the banter in this story. It's super entertaining and hilarious to read. The part about being a grump in the morning (followed by unintelligible gibberish) was extremely funny - and very relatable as well, coming from someone who is most definitely NOT a morning person.

The friendship between Teddy and Victoire was really cute. I love how they really seem to care about each other - from the friendly banter about birthday presents and what the signify to the open conversation about feeling jealous or mad. Also, I think Teddy likes Victoire already - he seems jealous about the possibility of this Scott Butler guy having a crush on Victoire and winning her over.

Oh my goodness! I love the reason for the Howler (that being: absolutely none at all)! It sounds like something I could see Harry and Ginny doing, especially if it was on something like April Fool's day. Also, as Harry never had family during Hogwarts, it's possible that he might want to send Teddy pointless Howlers because he never had the opportunity to receive letters from his parents (aside from Sirius, but Sirius - much as he would be the kind of person to send a Howler saying hi or something - probably didn't want to draw too much attention to himself given that he was a wanted escaped prisoner on the run.. and then dead.)

The contents of the Howler are wonderful as well: the kind of mundane, day-to-day things that go in a letter but that you wouldn't want the entire school to hear (example: the underwear and the lotion for the rash). Also, Teddy's reactions are just gold: hiding under the table. I have to admit that it made me laugh.

On a final note, the story worked really well with only dialogue. I really enjoyed this and I will be back to read more of your stuff after CTF!

~Olivia

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Review #6, by BellaLestrange87Opposites attract: Chapter 2: The Shock

17th April 2017:
Hi there! I'm here for CTF!

I think this is a good start to your story. You've done a really good job at setting up the key elements of your story here: the central concept of head boy/head girl, Ron's love interest (as I assume the transfer student isn't simply going to be head over heels in love with him for one chapter and then ignore him competely).

You've also done a good job of setting up the tension between Draco and Hermione. By tension, I mean the physical attraction that they're both kind of confused and disgusted by. I look forward to seeing the gradual transformation from that to genuine romantic attraction - because at the moment it's very reluctant physical attraction and that's definitely not the basis for a healthy relationship.

The cliffhanger at the end was really well done. I wonder what would be such a shock to Hermione that it would change her life? After all she's been through with the war and everything, it would have to be pretty big to surprise her that much.

I think the interactions between Draco and Hermione are only going to get more entertaining as the chapters go on (that is, before they start to fall for each other, as I assume they are going to do, seeing as they are head boy/head girl sharing a dorm, which is a common trope). If they can't hold off on the bickering for that short amount of time they had spent in the train compartment, how are they going to share a dorm without constantly arguing about every little thing?

~Olivia

Author's Response: As i said before, This story is my worst piece of writing ever, and now when I go back to read it, it cracks me up. It is so, so bad. I wrote it when I was very young so I apologise for the bad writing you had to go through during the game.

Thank you for your time and comments regardless. The story, if nothing, can definitely serve as a parody of dramione xP


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Review #7, by BellaLestrange87Star Crossed Lovers: Destined

17th April 2017:
Hi there! I'm here for CTF!

I love your characterization of Trelawney here. I can definitely tell its her, with the references to her inner eye and crystal balls and all the other Divination tools that we've seen mentioned in the series.

The disconnect between them is brilliantly written. You can tell that Trelawney is really blinded by her infuation for him (or obsession, that would be another great word to call it) and fails to see that he doesn't care for her romantically. Meanwhile, there's Lockhart, who just wants to know that he's going to continue to be super successful.

The way you've written Lockhart is perfect. He's just like in the books - sure of himself, arrogant, and yet unsure of himself in just the right way so that you know that, deep down, he's a fraud.

I really liked the ending. It almost seems like Trelawney made that prediction out of spite and anger that he had so cruelly rejected her. Before, when she still had hope, she was predicting excellent things for his future, but as soon as he turned her down her predictions also became less positive.

I noticed one small thing, and that's that you kept writing his name as "Glideroy" instead of "Gilderoy". It didn't detract from the story at all, but I thought you should know.

This was an excellent one-shot! It was extremely well-written and had wonderful flow. After CTF, I will be definitely back to read some more of your writing.

~Olivia

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am happy you liked my characterisation of Trelawney. This was a very difficult fic to write - because both the characters are tricky. It's great you found Lockhart well written. Thanks for pointing out that typo, I'll fix it. I hope you can come back to read some of my (good) work!

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Review #8, by BellaLestrange87In The Name of Brotherly Love: A Sirius Situation.

14th April 2017:
Hello there! I'm here for CTF!

I really like this chapter. It had an excellent mix of pre-Hogwarts summer carefree happiness and pre-war anxiety that mixed well together.

At first thought, that suspicious setting looks like a kidnapping in progress. However, considering what has gone on in the previous two chapters, I'm not going to rule out the possibility of it being part of a Death Eater initiation ceremony, because we know that Regulus was going to join them. I would have thought that Death Eaters would be smarter than to try and kidnap somebody in broad daylight in a crowded public place, though. And I love the fact that James and Sirius are going to intervene. It goes with what we know about their character - both from Snape's Worst Memory in OoTP and from the fact that they joined the Order almost immediately after graduating Hogwarts.

Wow. I definitely did not expect Voldemort to be in Knockturn Alley - I had imagined that they would have a base of operations somewhere a bit more secluded. But how did the Order know that the Death Eaters would be there? It seems like there might be a security slip up - and this is years before Snape switched so it's not him.

I love how protective Mrs Potter is over both James and Sirius. It's an enormous contrast to how Walburga acted towards Sirius. I think Mrs Potter is the mother Sirius should have had in the first place, and he and James act like siblings anyways, so.

I noticed a few typos:

as they were done with there shopping - with their shopping

who when on her own to do her shopping - who was on her own

were three people, they were wearing hoods - comma splice; should be either a period or a semicolon

“Their alright Albus,” Shouted the one on James left side - they're alright, the one on James'

when you return to Hogwarts.” He stated simply. - the period should be a comma

Their was no doubt in their minds - there was no doubt

I really enjoyed this chapter, and I'll be back to review the rest at some point after CTF is over!

~Olivia

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Review #9, by BellaLestrange87One Last Gift: The Gift

14th April 2017:
Hello there! I'm here for CTF!

This chapter was cute and fluffy! I love how Dominique remembered Molly's birthday despite how busy she is. Also, it's amazing that she's a cursebreaker - I guess she's following her father's footsteps there.

I definitely do not have as much self control as Molly does - I probably would have ripped the present open immediately instead of tending to my chores like a responsible person would.

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT WHAT WHAT

I DID NOT EXPECT THAT AT ALL

But seriously, the amulet scene was done really well. Your description was amazing and the amount of questions this leaves just makes me want to read more. Why would Dominique want to kill her grandmother? We know that Dominique usually remembered her birthday present - so it's not like it's out of character for her to do that. Was there an argument between Molly and Dominique that wasn't mentioned? Or does someone have a grudge against Dominique and want them out of the picture for some reason? Would it have something to do with the fact that she's a cursebreaker? I'm definitely coming back to this story after CTF.

I'm also curious about this mystery amulet. Where did it come from? How did Dominique (maybe Dominique) end up with it? Is it cursed?

This was an amazing first chapter with a plot twist that I definitely did not see coming. I will definitely be back after CTF to keep reading!

~Olivia

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Review #10, by BellaLestrange87Into The Light: Prologue

9th April 2017:
Hello! I'm here for CTF!

Your description in this is absolutely wonderful. Right away I can tell that you're talking about James and Snape, and the way you've described them shows clearly just how different the two were. Not just different... exact opposites.

I also love the amount of mystery and foreshadowing you've added in. We know what the one word used was - Mudblood (I assume, anyway), but not what the two words James used were (I assume James). Initially, I had thought that they would be I love you or something along those lines, but that's three words, not two. In addition, your casual mention of how Lily thought through all of her decisions but one was intriguing. Was that one decision her abandoning her friendship with Snape? Or was it something different than that? If it was, what could it possibly be? We know from canon that her falling in love with James was a gradual process - once his head finally screwed on straight - so unless she made an impulsive decision somewhere else. Was it joining the Order? I guess I'll have to read on then :p And these six words that would change her life... I'm definitely intrigued.

Your description of the friendship between Snape and Lily and how it fragmented is also really great. It's something that seems so obvious to us - and to the rest of the school, as Lily had to make excuses to her friends - but obviously not to him, which shows just how obtuse he can really be.

One little thing I noticed - She did her best treat everyone as she would have liked to be treated, but she was not afraid to stand up for herself or those she cared about. - she did her best to treat everyone

All in all, this was an excellent first chapter and at some point once CTF is over I'll be back to review some more!

~Olivia

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Review #11, by BellaLestrange87Broken Crown: Chapter the First

8th April 2017:
Hello! I'm here for CTF!

Oh man, this was such an excellent first chapter. I absolutely love the idea behind this - of a protagonist having to undergo an interview with the MLE, and of all the dirt and backstory it's going to bring up. And all the little bits of foreshadowing you've casually included and thrown in: about her relationship with her parents, and that casual bombshell you dropped.

She killed Vincent Crabbe? I love this enormous bit of intrigue and mystery this adds, because we know that Vincent Crabbe was killed in the Room of Requirement at the Battle of Hogwarts. Did she set him up for his death? We know that he died from the Fiendfyre that he cast; how did she kill him? I am most definitely coming back to continue reading after CTF is over (and you know, school and work and all that jazz *cries*).

I can't help but feel that this interview is a bit more serious than some of the other ones. While Robards seems to be very casual and at ease here, I feel like it's part of an intimidation strategy - a way of reminding her who's really in charge here. If this was just a routine interview, wouldn't she have the human transcriber sitting in the corner writing stuff down? There's definitely a reason for Robards to be relying on a potentially-fallible quill for note-taking, and I feel like none of the potential ones are good.

Also, I'm very surprised at Zacharias Smith having an interview with the MLE. Just what was he up?

I really loved the first chapter of this story! It especially appeals to me because I am a legal nerd and this involves magical law, so you can guarantee that I'll be back after CTF ends (and, you know, I need answers to all the unanswered questions).

~Olivia

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Review #12, by BellaLestrange87Under the Radar: The Pitch

8th April 2017:
Hello! Here for CTF!

I love the little bits of Hufflepuff daily life you've added here and there. Hufflepuff seems to be a really underwritten-about house (what are words?), unfortunately. Also, the idea of Percy Weasley getting drunk and being arrested - for THAT - was very entertaining, and I imagine that your version of Percy is very different from the novels.

I find it very entertaining that the Hufflepuffs are cunning and clever enough to be able to outwit the entire school and have everyone except themselves be blamed for their pranks. I wonder if anybody in any of the other houses ever caught on about what the Puffs were doing...

“Hate it?” I said. It was the Firebolt Three Million and Some Change or something. This line made me laugh. I love how apathetic your MC is towards Quidditch.

How she and Finn become friends is extremely realistic and I'm glad you've made it rather lowkey instead of something grand. "Do you want to be friends?" "Okay" is my experience of making friends as a little kid (yeah I know they're 11 but still...).

When I accidentally got Hufflepuff one hundred points by saving a girl who fell off a tower, but I was only there because I was about to plant an illegal flower beside the castle and see how long it took Madam Abbott to notice. I got a hero badge from the Headmaster. - This is absolutely hilarious. I'd love to know more about this incident - illegal flowers are a thing?

I wonder if the teachers get annoyed with the Hufflepuff team, featuring everybody. Do they all have to buy robes or do they just swap with people approximately their size?

I really love your description of the Hufflepuff common room; everything seems very comely and warm and inviting. Also, YES FOR GIVING YOUR CHARACTERS DESKS. I can't remember if it was in the books but it wasn't in the movies and I found it annoying - WHERE DO YOU DO WORK? On your bed would be a mess with inkstands and such.

I love the contrast in generations, from the Marauders and Fred and George, who were expert prankers, to this generation, featuring Gryffindors and Slytherins who have no idea what they're doing. The irony in Teddy's sentence here - Why they’d think that, I didn’t know. - made me laugh. A Hufflepuff, pranking people? Definitely not after three quarters of a chapter of recounting hilarious pranks committed by Hufflepuffs!

The ending of this chapter was really good, and so was the setup for next chapter. I can definitely tell there's something more serious than "typical prank" occurring here.

I really enjoyed this and I'll be back for chapter 2 some time after CTF ends!

~Olivia

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Review #13, by BellaLestrange87Rise of the Phoenix Volume I: The Gathering Storm

9th August 2016:
Hi there! Olivia here with your requested review.

So right off the start I'm feeling very interested in your OC. This first chapter doesn't really give us a lot of information about her and her background and stuff, which only makes me more interested in her, and that scar. For some reason I feel like that scar was more than just a dragon and was actually something worse, although I don't know if it'll actually turn out that way.

I'm really curious about why Aurora is so worried about returning to Britain. Yes, her brother passed away, but that would make her sad, not worried, and she seemed very stressed about it. And with her brother being an Auror... "Uncertain" causes of death are always suspicious, and you would think that magic would be able to find out why someone died. If the Ministry told her that there was no explanation for her death it makes me think that they're hiding something from her.

Or there's nothing to it at all and you're laughing at me as you read this.

I noticed a grammar error:

Their presence remaining even after Aurora’s initial insistence that he shaved it off. - I think this should be "Its presence" or something similar as it's referring to a single moustache instead of "moustaches" that I've also seen used.

So I'm not quite sure about those two Muggles that sat on either side of her or the man who came in. There were probably plenty of other carriages on the train that they could have sat in. And the man guarding a door? Something is very wrong here. I feel like there's going to be an attack on the train.

Woah. I was definitely not expecting that. Greyback? It seemed like Greyback. That, and the ensuing fight, is going to be an enormous mess for Aurora and Theo. The Ministry is going to be very mad at them for using magic in front of a whole train of Muggles.

It was, however, a great way to end the chapter as I now want to see what happens next.

You also wanted me to talk about your description. I feel like there are a few instances where it's a bit much - where I think you use a more complex word when there's a smaller one that would serve just as well. Other than that, I like the description. It sounds similar to published works that I've read and it flows very well.

I really enjoyed this chapter. I hope this novel of a review is helpful to you!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Wow- you're a brilliantly helpful reviewer. Thank you for the constructive feedback.

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Review #14, by BellaLestrange87Tell Me Who You Are: Phase One: Bring Boyfriend to Dinner

29th July 2016:
This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle! Just a heads up, I'll be writing my review as I go.

After only a few paragraphs, you have me hooked. I feel like I know Dom already - her worry about introducing magic to her boyfriend (how long did she date him that he didn't notice her wand?) and introducing her boyfriend to her parents.

Dom seems very happy with her boyfriend. Tall, dark, and handsome, and he sounds like he really loves her. Hopefully he won't react too badly to learning that she's a witch, if that comes out, which I feel like it will at some point.

They seemed happy at the restaurant, for a bit, anyways. I feel like Dom should definitely have at least told her parents that she was dating a Muggle so that they wouldn't say anything they shouldn't. That definitely didn't end well at all. I'm sad for Dom, but I think she could have acted better (or smarter, I suppose).

I really enjoyed this chapter! I'm really interested in figuring out what happens next, and I'll be back really quickly for chapter two!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi, Olivia!

It is a pretty bad theme for Dom in this story- she is very smart, but she also does not think things through. She is a rather impulsive Ravenclaw. (I think she must have been a hatstall for Gryffindor.)

I'm very glad that you are enjoying the story and look forward to you getting rather mad at me by the end. XD Thank you for your review!

-Liz


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Review #15, by BellaLestrange87Actions Speak Louder than Words: Brewing: Rose POV

11th June 2016:
This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

YOU UPLOADED ANOTHER CHAPTER YES THANK YOU THANK YOU (I need to finish the next chapter of Seek and Chase to thank you)

It makes me really happy to see that Rose is back to work and isn't beating herself up over the death of Selenia (*glare*). To be honest, I'd forgotten entirely about her medical records assignment. I'm hoping that it will lead into Stannous being caught and sent to prison for the rest of forever. *winks*

I'm really happy that Albus, like Rose, hasn't been torturing himself about Selenia's death. I'm glad that he's trying to get back to work so he can focus on catching Stannous.

But Scorpius. Beth, what are you doing to Scorpius? He seems really stressed out and anxious about everything. I just wish he could get a break.

What. The ending. What. I knew that Albus would find something but I was not expecting that. What. Draco and Astoria's bodies were placed so that they appeared to have died in a car accident? What. Why.

I must know why. New chapter? *offers cookies*

~Olivia

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Review #16, by BellaLestrange87Broken : Why Did You Break A Perfectly Good Heart?

28th May 2016:
Hi there! I'm here for our review exchange!

This was really good, and definitely not what I was expecting from the summary at all. I thought, reading it, that Draco had cheated on her or something. This was a lot harsher and way more creative.

Draco's manipulation of Hermione has me really intrigued. What did Harry and Ron think? Mrs Weasley? How did they start to fall in love (well, Hermione anyway)? Does Draco really love her and is just hiding his feelings?

Their conversation was really well done. Draco's contempt is in-character with what he know of him from the books, but more harsher and crueler, like he would have been had he not shied away from the Death Eaters. Hermione is just the right mix of anger, sadness, and feelings of betrayal.

The ending was so sad and heartbreaking. This sentence especially, "And, here she was, Hermione Granger, stuck in a locked dungeon at midnight, with a broken heart and a broken soul, destroyed by nothing but love."

I really loved this, and I'm glad we swapped. I'll be back to read more of your work soon!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing. I am pleased you found this creative and well-written!

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Review #17, by BellaLestrange87House of Stone: Prologue

13th May 2016:
This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

I really enjoyed this. It was a really well-written look into Voldemort's perspective. I really like the added information: that Voldemort was trying to get rid of the Malfoy family by assigning them Draco a task that couldn't be fulfilled.

You wrote Voldemort really well. He appears really sadistic, as he should be. His enjoyment of Lucius's and Draco's pain was really obvious and fitting for the leader of the Death Eaters.

You're making me feel really sorry for Draco. He's so enthusiastic and eager to prove himself now and we all know how his feelings change over the course of sixth year.

I didn't see any typos and I'll be back at some point to read the next chapter.

~Olivia

Author's Response: Wow, that was fast! Thank you! I've always wanted to write Voldemort and while this prologue is only to set up for more important things later in the story, I was more excited for it than for the rest of it. XD

(Which is why I will be writing a Draco centered story later...)

Thank you for the review!


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Review #18, by BellaLestrange87When I Go Out With You: Fools Rush In

14th March 2016:
Hi there! I'm here for your first of five reviews from my Review-a-Thon pledge! I've been meaning to read this story for a while now so I'm taking this opportunity to nudge my procrastinating self into action and actually do it :p

This was really cute! I love the unspoken chemistry between them, without even needing to say anything.

This line here is perfect - There is a light in her eyes that keeps me searching – it is buried deep inside, beyond twists and turns, but it is there and it is glowing for me.

I'm really impressed by how you managed to fit 22 years of history (well, 17, I guess, if they haven't seen each other since Hogwarts) into a 500-word chapter so seamlessly. It feels very natural and perfect.

I really loved this and I'll be back soon to review the next chapter!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hello Olivia!

Thanks so much for awarding reviews for the Review-A-Thon, and for stopping by now!

I am very flattered that you've been wanting to read this story, and I'm glad you've gotten around to it.

I am glad you like that line! I wasn't sure if it was maybe a bit too convoluted to capture what I was trying to say, so I'm glad you think it work so well!

I'm glad you enjoyed this, and I look forward to hearing what you think of future chapters. Thanks again!

Sam.


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Review #19, by BellaLestrange87Blood Moon: Blood Moon

12th March 2016:
Hi there! I'm here for your second of five reviews from my Review-a-Thon pledge!

Ooh, this is really creepy. I can picture myself in that house, hearing every creak and groan of the house and wondering if it's something benign or something I need to worry about.

I'm curious as to why Daphne ended up in the house. Did it have to do with the article she wrote that seemed to insult Greyback (who I assume got out of prison)? I wonder why nobody helped her if it is.

So now I know why he's after here, and I'm still wondering why she didn't go to anybody for help. Surely the Aurors would be able to help her, especially if they were already looking for him already.

So even though I knew that Daphne was going to die at the end it still made me sad. You did a great job of gradually revealing information about her so that we could get to know her as someone more than "minor character and I don't remember if they were named in the book that's how minor they are". The chase when she was trying to run away from Greyback was very suspenseful and I wished she would make it. (Why couldn't she just Apparate away? She had her wand.)

I really enjoyed this and I'll be back for your final three reviews soon!

~Olivia

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Review #20, by BellaLestrange87The Corner: The Corner

11th March 2016:
Hi there! I'm here for your second of five reviews from my Review-a-Thon pledge!

This was really cute and I loved this. I just... it made me really happy and thank you for that.

It makes me really happy that Dudley and Harry were playing in the living room under Aunt Petunia's nose. It shows that Dudley being the way he was in the beginning of the series wasn't due to him but to his awful parents. I just... why, Petunia and Vernon, why.

I don't like the fact that Petunia and Vernon made him sit in a corner. The fact that said corner only has a chair in it, and is intentionally far away from everything makes me mad. I'm happy that both Harry and Dudley ended up being decent people after the brainwashing that they were put through as kids. Seriously, did no one ever call social services about Harry or something?

I really like his fantasies, too (and how some of them are things that happened to him later. For example, falling from a great height). I guess, of course, what else are you supposed to do when you're forced to sit in a chair all day. *glares at Petunia and Vernon*

I really like the way that this was written. It sounds like something that a four-year-old would say (not that I really know what I'm talking about there *nervous glances left and right*).

I'll be back to review more soon!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Olivia!! Hi!

First off: "Seriously, did no one ever call social services about Harry or something?"

I KNOW, RIGHT??? Everyone in their neighborhood and school must have been total jerks not to say something! Poor Harry!

Petunia is just the meanest in this story. I hate it. (I know I wrote it, but still. She is so mean! :P)

I'm so glad you like Harry's day dreams and the childish voice of the story. Thank you so much for another lovely review!

xoxo Renee


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Review #21, by BellaLestrange87The Center of the Sun: The Center of the Sun

11th March 2016:
Hello! This is your first of five reviews from my Review-a-Thon pledge!

I really enjoyed this! I loved the gradual development of their feelings, from Andromeda being attracted to Tonks to *happening* to be in the library at the same time to being.um... naughty in the Quidditch building. It seems just like something that would happen in high school - staring at each other covertly, going somewhere they know the other person will be, and unintentionally seeking out the other person's name everywhere.

I love Andromeda's characterization here. Her character development is very realistic, and she seems just like she would at this stage of her life: starting to question her family - the line "What would that be like, to actually love your parents? She couldn’t fathom it." was particularly sad as she doesn't know what a healthy familial relationship should look like or actually is. But the whole obedience thing is still there - as is shown when Narcissa tells her to go fetch Regulus from the Quidditch building and she goes meekly off (to Ted :p).

That final scene! Just from your description of Tonks and his towel. *tries to calm self* Your writing at the end was so good, too - I love the descriptions you used.

I'll be back to read more of your writing soon!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi Olivia, you wonderful person!

Thank you so much, first of all, for offering to give reviews! That was so generous of you! *hug*

Second of all, thank you so much for your review of this story! I'm so so pleased you found Andromeda's characterization realistic, especially since I'd never written her before.

I know, her family life seems so sad. :( But eventually she has a new family with Ted. What a hottie! ;)

THANK YOU, lovely!
xoxo Renee


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Review #22, by BellaLestrange87Love, Lavender: Dear Diary

11th March 2016:
Hi there! This is your first of five reviews from the Review-a-thon!

Your writing in this is so good. You're making me sad for Lavender and I'm only a paragraph in. I just want to give her a giant hug right now but I can't because *totally not crying or anything. nope. not me. *sniffs**

I feel like she's already given up, with saying she'll only go to the therapy group once. I'm happy that she feels better after going to the therapy meeting.

The way you describe the way people are struggling through their life after the war makes me sad, because I can really feel for them.

I'm unsure about her relationship with Oliver. Alicia makes some very good points about using someone else as a crutch to prop yourself back up.

And, happily, those fears are unfounded. It's great that they're happy together (and since, I now know that this is a companion to Drive. :p)

I really enjoyed this and I'll be back to read more of your stuff soon!

~Olivia

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Review #23, by BellaLestrange87when we were young: you sound like a song

22nd February 2016:
This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

I really loved this! I enjoyed all the subtle references you put in at the beginning to Rose and Scorpius's relationship (or whatever it was called :p) in the past, before the story started.

I really love how Rose is working in the Congo, and married a man she met there. That's something that I've never seen before and it's really original.

Speaking of marriage. I definitely was not expecting the ending. I thought that they would end up getting back together and restarting their relationship. I never thought that they would each be married (I'm assuming that the brunette woman is Scorpius's wife?).

*awkwardly* I'm sorry this review is so short. I meant to review as I read but I got so engrossed by your lovely writing that I had to keep reading. ♥

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi Olivia!

Thanks so much for the review! I'm so happy that you liked this story!

Rose and Scorpius definitely had a relationship in the past that ended when Rose moved to the Congo. I just had to have her go to one of the newly revealed schools, I just love them! And Uagadou was my favourite of them.

The brunette woman is, I think, not Scorpius's wife. She's a girlfriend in my mind, though whether it's a serious relationship or just a casual one for him is up to you. I felt like keeping Scorpius's fate a little open. It's clear that Rose has fallen in love with someone else, but Scorpius, as he says in the beginning thinking about Albus's wedding, has not yet fallen in love.

Thanks again for the review!

I'm so glad you liked this!

Stefanie


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Review #24, by BellaLestrange87Under False Pretenses: Half-Conceived Plans

18th February 2016:
This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

I knew this sounded familiar and then I read the AN. I'm really happy you're continuing this, as I really wanted to know what happened after when I read the chapter (the first time :p)

I really love the bickering/bantering between James and Lily. It was really entertaining to read and now I'm even more excited for the rest of these chapters, so I can read more. (Sentence construction fail. *facepalm*) And the fact that she got down on one knee to ask him to fake-date her for the weekend... That would be a wonderful way to end the story *wink wink*

I love the fact that you've nicknamed Peter the Cheddar Meister and casually slipped in Wolfstar. I love Wolfstar and find "Cheddar Meister" hilarious (especially considering the whole mice-cheese thing, although I don't know if that's the same for rats but...).

I'll be back to review the next chapters, once I dig myself out from my pile of unfinished work that I'm ignoring right now *stares nervously at lab report*

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hey Olivia!

Yeah, I expanded this thing a little bit. Thanks for rereading!!!

Jily's sick bantz give me life. I love writing them. I also loved writing Lily getting down on one knee because it's such a sarcastic, weird thing to do.

CHEDDAR MEISTER! Peter is that friend who got a nickname because of ONE SINGLE INCIDENT that his friends won't ever let him forget, lol. And yaass, WolfStar is also my fave.

Thanks for the sweet review, lovely!
Mallory


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Review #25, by BellaLestrange87Playing for Keeps: A Face From the Past

17th February 2016:
This is for the Blue vs. Bronze review battle! And I'm finally back after taking way too long to return to this story... *oops*

I'm really curious to find out what's between the MC (whose name I don't remember) and James. It's definitely not positive, but I can't wait to find out exactly why he was tormenting her and for what reason.

The opening words of their conversation seem really interesting. To me, it feels as if everything they're saying has some sort of added significance, or additional meaning (or maybe I'm reading too much into this :p)

Hmmm. At this point, with the repeated "Do you know who I am?" I'm not quite sure what's going on. Is James suffering from memory loss, or is he just pretending to be more of a jerk and keep tormenting her? This is even more interesting.

I'm really happy that the MC is a lot more confident now that she was before. I also think that the fact that James can't really hold a one-on-one conversation shows a lot about his character. If he's more used to smiling for the cameras and being famous than talking to normal people - like a normal person - then I think he'll act more arrogant as the chapter goes on.

Ooh. I'm really curious about what's going on with James. His cousin knows things that could ruin his reputation? What kind of things? Which cousin? I can't wait to (take another lifetime to *whistles*) return to the next chapter!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi Olivia!

Here I am, almost a year later, responding at last.

Yeah, nothing pleasant between the ol' MC and James. All of that comes later, along with her name. (I haven't revealed it yet at this point in the story, haha.) :)

James is both a jerk AND he can't figure out why somebody doesn't know who he is (because he's famous lolol). The MC is much more confident now, but James has a LONG way to go in the "coming down from his high horse" journey.

Yep! There's lots going on in the next few chapters! Thanks again for reading!

♥Mallory


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