Reading Reviews From Member: elsbeth22
96 Reviews Found

Review #1, by elsbeth22The Dream Catcher: The Dream Catcher

13th May 2008:
wow, I haven't been on this site for ages and this story is one of the first new ones I’ve read since logging back in. You are amazing jenni, I think I have yet to read a story of yours that isn't fascinating.
The central idea for this fic is entirely interesting and it makes one think for sure. I love how you explained Arthur's view points on how magic must have come into the world in the first place. That whole "where did purebloods come from anyway" idea. I never really gave thought to that and by having Rose demonstrate a rebirth of magic, well, it was like the world was starting over after the height of pain and destruction. I applaud you for that. You took a twist of the NOW and changed it into a view of rebirth and creation. I'm always impressed by your stories. They always vary and all of them are highly intellectual one way or another. Never stop writing you have one hell of a gift.

Author's Response: I, too, have not been on this site for ages (evidently, seeming as it's now 2009) and as I am hopefully returning to fanfiction, I'm really glad that yours is the first review I see upon my return. I hope more fascinating stories will be coming - although I doubt you're still following me! I can promise you that I will definitely never stop writing and I'm pleased that you enjoyed this fic so much because it remains one of my favourites. :)

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Review #2, by elsbeth22Witch Sisterhood with American Dreams: The First of the First

7th July 2007:
i liked the creativity with the manors, it made sense yet it was completely original. It was a funny image to imagine the houses supported by chicken legs, so thank you for the laugh. the chapters are a tad bit confusing and it's hard to get names and faces to align but I'm sure that'll clear up with familiarity with the story. ~ELspeth (lostandlonely)

Author's Response: Thank you! Having the buildings be supported on chicken legs was inspired my folklore, from the Slavic witch Baba Yaga who lived in a house that stood on chicken legs. I guess with so many characters (as I love creating characters) it can be a bit confusing. I plan to work on rewriting these chapters and hope to improve them. Thank you so much for your input!

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Review #3, by elsbeth22Witch Sisterhood with American Dreams: Jackie's Story

7th July 2007:
well, it's not entirely convincing of a story and probably isn't one I'd read on my own but it's not a horrible start to a fic. The letter to Jackie doesnt sound like it was formally written by an establishment of education. Also it was all confounding with the professor blaring in there and spelling everything in sight, if he was muggle born you would think he wouldn't be so.tactless? sorry, this is probably just my views coming out, your free to write what you wish, I just can't believe the scene as one that would convince the two that magic is real and "good" and finally, how could she already be in school? ~Elspeth (lostandlonely)

Author's Response: Yeah, I understand what you're saying. I wasn't very satisfied with the beginning so I'll rewrite it so that I feel more satisfied with it. The letter, I almost plagerized it from the Hogwarts letter, so it's not that different. Thank you! I'll be looking through each of my chapters and rewriting them to better quality. Again, thanks!

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Review #4, by elsbeth22The Death Virus: Tale Three: Hell Just Got Worse - Part 1

7th July 2007:
My favorite chapter so far, I'm a sucker for the "bad" parts of stories. And quite honestly, I'm looking forward to how they accomplish this (or attempt, which ever). Of what I've read I will say this story is far beyond average, from the conceptual idea to its follow through, I am truly impressed by this story. Thank you for giving me the chance to read it. Elspeth

Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your reviews :] Wow I'm so glad you are impressed :D I'll be sure to get the next chapter out asap!

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Review #5, by elsbeth22The Death Virus: Tale Two: Baby, It's Just Too Hard - Part 1

7th July 2007:
Ouch, most definatley heart-ripping...however you did bring the point across that disease overlooks no one, and I'll commend you for that. I didn't particulary like the first paragraph, it seemed as though you were rambling, maybe if you spread out the information. I also was a tad bit confused in the middle of the story. You have Anna knowing about magic folk and Harry Potter and the reason behind the virus. She's muggle? right? How can she know? Has the security branch been eliminated or breached? Other than those two problems the chapter ran smoothly.

Author's Response: I sometimes ramble and make sentences too long, it's something I should work on so thanks for pointing it out to me, I'll be sure to double check the flow of my paragraphs in the future. Rambling usually happens when I force myself to write if I'm not in the mood haha

Well because of the Virus spreading to muggles as well as wizards, the two governments bonded together and tried to work together in order to figure out what was going on. Though there are still muggles who will deny the existance of wizards, they know that they exist now. I thought I mentioned it in the prologue, but I apologize if I missed that out.

Thank you for the review :]

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Review #6, by elsbeth22The Death Virus: Tale One: Can't Cope - Part 1

7th July 2007:
My, my, my...very good. I'm trully impressed! I loved the family scene and I can imagine this happening, almost in movie format which is always a good sign that this story is incredible. Your imagery and dialect astounds me, you do so with out the over use of similies and metaphors and I truly like that. I especially liked the end paragraph it explained a lot with out giving a way too much. Congradulations on a story well writ.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Sometimes I feel like people might find my writing simple as I don't use a lot of metaphors or similies or anything like that so it means a lot that my style of writing appeals :]

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Review #7, by elsbeth22The Death Virus: Prologue

7th July 2007:
Facinating, Absolutley facinating. I must say this is one of the few original ideas on this site. I've never seen anything like it, congradulations on that. As this is the prologue I will not say much about the story, I'll wait until further chapters :P Anyway, so far so good .


Author's Response: I'm so glad you think that my story is original :] thank you!

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Review #8, by elsbeth22Never Too Late: My Sweet Rose

6th July 2007:
I wont say I like it but it was quaint. A tad bit fast and little too colloquial. You seemed to be in a frenzy to make this ship "all-right", I have no qualms against H/Hr fics but its hard to believe every one (ron) would be happy with the arrangement. Maybe if you give a small hint as to Hermione and Ron became just freinds...or something like that. Remember after the release of Half-Blood Prince it's obvious Ron and Mione like each other and it was hard for Harry to get with Ginny.imagine getting hermione! I'm probably just thinking it could be a bit more canon, because I've read some incredibly canon H/Hr fics that are incredible. if you fix the ron problem its a fair story. And I encourage you to keep writing (you should see my first one :P...such a difference from how I write now lol) with every story you will get better and this is most definatley a great start. Keep at it and good luck with all your future endeveours.
--Elspeth (lostandlonely)

Author's Response: Yeah, I dunno, I mean I thought about it but I didn't really want it to be canon that much..because really, I don't see H/Hr ever happening, and it's not going to, you know? and also to be honest, it wasn't that well planned out, ill admit it. I sort of rushed when I was writing it and didn't really put thought about Ginny {at all} or Ron {a little, but not much}but anyways, thanks, I'm still new at this technically. it's only been a couple months. && thanks for the review!

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Review #9, by elsbeth22You Fancy Me Mad - A Rat's Tail: You Fancy Me Mad

4th July 2007:
personally, I am totally in love with Poe. His works are absolutley incredible and this story was just plain entertaining. I loved it. I've never seen something like this and the way you formulated the two stories to entwine together was brilliant. Thankyou sincerely for the marvelous read. ~Elspeth

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review. I've read some doozies in the past few minutes (trying to catch up) and it's nice to get a coherent one. Thanks again!

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Review #10, by elsbeth22Mourning's Wake: At the Graveyard.

26th September 2006:
First, the beta in me is screaming out so here's what I found:

Now(,) the dark haired man...

changed. Irrevocably in twining their fates.> ...changed; irrevocably intwining their fates.

"Let(')s get out of here."

*** >> instead, it looks more proffesional (and I think it's becoming mandatory on this site)

arrousing>> arousing

Time passed and the two starcrossed >>star-crossed

not have knowledge of his where abouts>>actually, believe it or not (I didn't at first) where abouts is one word: whereabouts. why? I have no clue :P

It(')s well...

possible... It(')s Mum

With a cough, he arrived before young Draco Malfoy surrounded by Tonks and Kingsley. Tonks had her arms around Draco, his head buried in her chest. Without a word, Tonks nodded her head towards the sitting room. Tears could be seen on her cheeks also.>>I'm not sure if you said this right did he arrive before or AFTER Draco? How could Tonks be holding Draco unless he came before, maybe a change of words or a new sentence might clear that up.

That(')s when he saw

Himself, he had went straight >>I would consider using "gone" instead of "went", proper english stuff like that :)

and magicked it to never die>>magicked isn't a word so I would suggest using>> cast a spell so that it would never die.

disasparated>>disapparated (i think).

Anyway, now on to the actually story: (sorry my beta monster always releases herself on any story I read). I thought it was an interesting take on this particular ship. I'm a sucker for description and imagery so It would have been nice to "see" the grave sight, you know, through your words. This story also might not do too shabby with a tad bit more explination, at least in the beginning, how did Lucius break into HER thoughts (taught BY Snape) when even the Dark Lord could not get into Snapes mind? But that's just a thought. Over all, I thought it was fairly good, the plot development and the transition to scenes was very smooth and enjoyable. I do have to say, "Keep writing", for I believe you have the potential to be a great writer on this site, with a little work, but your imagination is enough to carry you. Good job on a rare pairing...and I'm glad I saw this on the forums.


Author's Response: Thanks so much for the CC. I have put some of the changes through in editing. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Huggles ~~juls

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Review #11, by elsbeth22I Am Lord Voldemort: I Am Lord Voldemort

25th September 2006:
Oh boy oh boy oh I love these stories (voldemort stories, not quote stories), having writen two myself it's always fun to see other people's perspective on voldemort (who is my favorite character) I love the way you gradually got to the Potter's death, there was no abruptness, no holes. You covered it all quite nicely. Also I love the quotes you chose for this particualr challange. They fit so well in the story and made wonderful voldemort points. The first one, especially, was my favorite. Anyway (I'm rambling) thank you for the wonderful read :). ~Elspeth

Author's Response: Wow wow wow. I truly and really appreciate this. I'm very proud of this myself and I'm glad you liked it. I'll be sure to check out yours if you have them up on here. Thanks so much and I don't mind rambling. I do it alot. I love the quotes. I knew what I was going to do as soon as I saw this challenge and I'm like, "OH OH! I know! VOLDEMORT!" Thanks heaps!

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Review #12, by elsbeth22Complicated Hexagon: Meeting the Marauders

30th August 2006:
really quickly...James was a seeker, not a chaser. Sorry, quick CC before school lol :P

Author's Response: Nope, according to the Lexicon, James was a chaser in the books -- seeker in the movie - but thanks! :) I hope you're enjoying.

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Review #13, by elsbeth22What the History Books Won't Tell You: a hat, a cat, and a pig

28th August 2006:
Very Funny story...Naomi thinks and talks just like my best friend, Elizabeth. It was hilarious because I could just imagine her in this setting. Seeing as this story is mindless entertainment, I won't go into any grammatical or context problems. It made me laugh and for that alone I thank you. I need laughter in helps lol :P. Anyway, thank you for the entertaining read.
PS...I can't wait till Elizabeth reads this...mwahahahahahaha

Author's Response: Oh good, I'm glad you like it! I'm interested to know what Elizabeth would think of this story, because after I wrote a couple chapters I realized that Naomi is a lot like a very good friend of mine, as well. I realize that there are a fair number of gramatical no-no's, but obviously this isn't supposed to be perfect or canon (at all). I'm glad I could make you laugh. Thanks for taking the time to review!

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Review #14, by elsbeth22Harry Potter & the Four Elements: The Not-So-Dead-End at Privet Drive

25th August 2006:
I've already left a review for this story, but I wanted to let you know that Rowen'a picture has finally descided to appear for Heathen of the Glen :P


Author's Response: Yay! I definitely have to go check it out. Thanks for letting me know! I can't wait to see it.

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Review #15, by elsbeth22Harry Potter & the Four Elements: In the Beginning there were Four Elements

12th August 2006:
ahh...don't worry about it. Anytime someone specifically requests for a review in a review I make sure to read the story (like a weird sort of way). I used to do it for every review, regardless of whether they asked for it or not, but lately I've been getting too many to do each and every one. So, no worries :P.


Author's Response: I can't wait to read the next chapter, Elsbeth! Thanks again for stopping by my story. It's always great to see a review from one of my favorite authors.

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Review #16, by elsbeth22Harry Potter & the Four Elements: Potions Revived

11th August 2006:
interesting look for water (which is what I think Poseidon is)...all black, very classy and in a way Exactly what water is dark mysterious...husky almost. Also I like the name play (Isis...mother of the sun in Egyptian mythology) (Poseidon...god of the sea in Greek mythology) I can't wait to see what you name your other two elements. Over all this is an enchanting and different read. It does have some soap opera-like parts but they're easy to overlook. Your language is exquisite. I love the word play you use in the adjectives and descriptions. Over all it is an 8/10 story and I commend you for it...Good job :)

Author's Response: I'm SO bad at descriptions! I'm glad you think that I'm getting better at them. I've lacked description for so long that I don't know, now, if I'm over doing it or not. As for Poseidon, I think he's my favorite character in this story. His past will change the outlook on this character and I hope people won't turn away from him when all is revealed. The underlying meanings for the names is always essential and I'm glad you picked that up.

Ah, soap operas...I try not to make it so much like one but its hard to ignore the relationship elements in this final story. I kind of wanted to bring romance into the tale so I'm trying not to overwhelm everyone with it. Hopefully I can keep true to my promise.

Thank you, elsbeth, for taking the time to read my story. It was an honor to receive several reviews from you. I look forward to your new chapter when it is posted.

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Review #17, by elsbeth22Harry Potter & the Four Elements: The Lion, the Witch, and the Phoenix

11th August 2006:

First I would like to say that this is a really interesting idea. I like the worldliness off the Chosen Council. Beliefs of Europe, names from Egypt, Turkish faerietale creatures and you wrap it all into something magically believable. Isis, at first reminded me of a phoenix herself her look and demeanor were so alike to Fawkes.

I have some tense corrections here>

They had to safe the boy from being the pawn

Change "safe" to "save"...then this

Jeddah Bauble was one of the most talent witches

As Jeddah is a male, he should be one of the most "talented" "wizards".

Everyone in the Chosen knew him to be a man of his word but

I think it's "everyone in the Chosen knew him to be a man of words but...

Also You do a lot of explaining in third person form. Try making these characters more personal by expressing their feelings/beliefs through their words and actions instead of explination etc...

Author's Response: Elsbeth,

I just want to thank you for taking the time to read my story. It means a lot to me to know that someone that has a story like yours would take the time to look at mine.

The first chapter of my story I was still finding my ground and that of the Harry Potter universe. I thank my friend Sarah for getting me hooked onto it and the story just sort of sprung to life early on before I truly knew anything about Harry Potter and what and who he was. The Chosen, I'm not sure, if they're going to be a huge part of the story but in order to get a feel for the rest of the tale I wanted to put as much emphasis on the mystery and the history of what the Chosen were. Since wizards are all different I thought it would be interesting to see different wizards from every part of the world. I'm glad you saw it as much as I did when I wrote it.

I'm horrible with tenses. My beta for my other story yells at me every time. LOL! I will definitely look at it when I go and revise this story.

Once again, thank you so much for looking at my story. It truly means a lot to me.

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Review #18, by elsbeth22Albus Dumbledore's Death: Reflections

27th July 2006:
Very very short...I can see how it could be made longer, but it was interesting nevertheless. I've read many Snape reflection pieces and i have to say that end line was amazing.


Author's Response: It was short cause I had trouble NOT revealing it was Snape til the end, and part of the challange was not to reveal him. I'm glad you liked the ending.

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Review #19, by elsbeth22If Walls Could Talk: If Walls Could Talk

26th July 2006:
first and foremost I have to say this is one amazing story. I have yet to read something like it...It was amazing, when I read the line about "Muggles not seeing it" (or what ever) It suddenly hit me that he was dead. I rushed back to the beginning and read it again...suddenly everything made sense! The Flamel thing, the "comeing back here thing"...trully great.

The first pair that came to mind was Voldemort and Bellatrix...I know that sounds weird but it just fit in my mind's eye. And yet there are only three men in HP that sound like this...Voldemort, Sirius, and Draco Malfoy. So I'm thinking the guy's Draco. There is only one Ravenclaw who would be "a few years back" from him and that's that's weird. But you said yourself you didn't know who she was so I'm not that worried. Definatley in my favorite list...thank you for the amazing read.

~Elspeth the way, I found this story through the "favorite Quotes" thing...I love this one:
""Oh God." She whispered at me.

"No--not God actually, had a chance with him, but I blew it--""

Author's Response: Thanks so much! WOW! Your review is currently blowing me away! Yeah, it was the soliliquy part, wasn't it? (I particularly liked that part as well) *goes to post that on the fave quotes thread*

I'm so flattered that this could go on your favorites, and that you could like it so much! Thanks SO much! I'm answering your PM as we speak, so you shall soon know who they are! (Oh, it's okay, anyone reading the reviews before the story is just LOOKING for spoilers, they will all gather sooner or later that he's dead)

Thanks AGAIN! And. . . wow, have a nice day!

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Review #20, by elsbeth22What Malfoy Wants: What Malfoy Wants

29th May 2006:
That was brilliant DarkHeart! You portrayed Draco's character so well, so evilly well I have to stand up and applaude you *clap, clap* This was very good for your first one-shot, you should do it more often! You were able to get an entire idea, story such a short amount of space without confusing the reader or talking so much you lost the reader. That was greatly done! I'm so giving this a ten, and I trully am impressed with this story. GOOD JOB! ~Elspeth

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it. This isn't my first one-shot, but this is the first time i've ever written something like this. Thank you for taking the time out and reading it!

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Review #21, by elsbeth22The Sunken Ruby: Never to be seen again

15th May 2006:
Sad...just plain sad :(. I'm more of a angesty person than a tearfull person but this was...well sad lol. It went a bit fast but you made your point. Good job, sorry can't think of anything else to say.... ~Elspeth

Author's Response: Thanks, a small review is better than no review at all...and it was my first one shot, I really did not know how to go about it..thinking of doing some more though :)

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Review #22, by elsbeth22The Clone: Chapter I

15th May 2006:
This is actually a very interesting story, and i am truly anticipating it's continue! The summery didn't give the story justice. I'm only having problems with why Lucius would stoop to the level to ask a muggle, WOMAN, for help. It's what my pa says (if their wizards why can't they do it them selves?) However if you suspend disbelief it truly is a charming story. I'm curious, actually, is this story after the bout with Harry as a baby, or is it after the final battle, or is it during the time in-between...or what :). Other than that this has potential to be a very good story. ~Elspeth

Author's Response: wow, thanks for your review. I really don't know how to make the summary any better :(...and all of your questions about the timing will be answered in future chapters...also the thing with asking a muggle, it has to do with the story, it was part of voldemort's plan and everything will reveal itself soon! Thank you again!

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Review #23, by elsbeth22Hogwarts Sanitarium: The Gentle Grim

24th March 2006:
you and your stupid cliff-hangers...argh! lol anyway I'm still loving it and you have yet to dissapoint. I read your "answered'' questions so the question about Percy is out the door :) how ever I have a new one. Will Snape be in this one? Possibly the scary pharmasist or something? Just curious as Snape seemed to have HUGE impact on Harry through out books 1-5. Also Where did Harry get the Sorting hat from (for that matter where did he get Godric's sword from)?

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Review #24, by elsbeth22Hogwarts Sanitarium: Traumatic Trials

24th March 2006:
This is really odd for you, but maybe its just I'm noticing now that I do beta work. Any way I saw some minor lapses in word usage: "look and sat in the book next to Judge Percy’s." box not book___ “When about James, his father? Has he helped with the finances?” What not when....other than those two Another lovely chapter, can hardley wait for the next two...or three or however many.. As for questions: "Has he gone before this judge before, in order to get Percy in his fantasy world. And if so, what caused Harry to hate Percy so in this "real" world?

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Review #25, by elsbeth22Patrick Thatcher and the Colonist's Compass: Dominick Sumpton

23rd March 2006:
CC~ "wondering through " I think its Wandering through :) still thats only two mistakes in...6? chapters...WELL DONE! I especially liked the line>> “Imagine, having a crazy witch breathing down our necks.” ~ cute.... just cute lol well I'll have to continue reading some other time... this truly is an amazing story, I am sincerely enjoying it :) ~Elspeth

Author's Response: Haha...glad you liked that was a bit of a toss to McGonagall. Not that's she's crazy, but she IS on the stern side. I'm glad you like it!

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