Reading Reviews From Member: toomanycurls
  
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Review #1, by toomanycurlsSaving Severus Snape : 2nd September 1976 - Part 2

30th January 2015:
Hello!!

I see this is the last chapter you have up. Write more. :P


I can't blame Hermione for feeling overwhelmed at this point - it's such a change to be back in time and she has such a difficult task in front of her. Your commentary on Sirius maturing while in Azkaban is quite interesting. I tend to think he stopped maturing in Azkaban though he grew more somber.

Hermione's advice in potions was indeed interesting. I wonder how many of the HBP suggestions she'll come up with? I was also a bit surprised that Slughorn didn't mention Lily as the other top student, as he raved about her at least to Harry. Slughorn also seemed a bit patronising which fits well with his character. I don't really like him and you've captured all the reasons why I don't like him.

You make the Ravenclaw CR sound really amazing. I wish I could have gone to school there. I appreciate that they're not just all nerds but that school is a focus for them. I also wonder about the little teaser you put in about Lockhart and Skeeter putting on a show - are they pretending to be into each other for social gain?

Remus is perfect in this. I love that he not only apologizes for Sirius but is so used to it that it's second nature for him. I hope he and Hermione can be friends. I thought the hallway scene with James and Sirius finding Remus was adorable. I wonder if they were using the map (though I doubt they'd whip it out to fact-check what remus was saying). Ooh, and, I totally ship Amelia/Remus now. Thanks. :D

The realization hermione has at the end is interesting. I wonder if she'll be less worried about her impact on the future as her going back has and will keep changing stuff. I feel like her experience with Sirius in PoA would have been enough to understand that. Anyway, excited for more!

-Rose

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Review #2, by toomanycurlsThe Man With the Twisted Face: Prologue

30th January 2015:
This is one of the few stories I've read about Antonin Dolohov - I'm so excited to see how you write him.

One - love the way you've mingled geopolitical events in the wizarding world with Antonin's birth and early childhood. You paint a very clear picture about what it meant to be a pureblood and believe in the Cause. I love that it was something even children bought into with their playtime antics and learned rhetoric.

Two - the vibe you get across with Antonin's birth does have the feeling of such magnitude that I can't blame his parents for expecting big things out of their son. It felt like the intro to Lion King without the song.

Three - Making Antonin not enthusiastic about the Cause was genius. I mean, he seems so reasonable about the whole wanting to making judgements in his own time, should know a muggle before judging them, etc. I hate to think what the family was planning for him - that sounded potentially quite dark. eee! Such an interesting note to leave the chapter on.

Let me know when you update!

-Rose

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Review #3, by toomanycurlsThe Story of Nicolae: The Sahara Goldenwing

26th January 2015:
I'M SO EXCITED - I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT. CAUSE YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, I'MGONNAREADTHISSOHARD.

I lost the rhythm there, I know.

You made Charlie so cool and someone that I instantly like. He's all nervous but eager and he said his name was Charles (hysterical). You did a great job showing what someone would feel nervous about on their first day at dragon school. I love Charlie's goodnature and the way he makes friends pretty easy.

The apparating dragon is awesome. please make more dragon types with cool abilities.

I like Asha - I can't wait to see more of her.

WHY IS THERE A DUDE NAMED FABIAN?!?! MY FELS!!!

I would probably also want to run away from a cabin wtih four other girls. o.o no way. Bette sounds kind of awesome.

Ha, i'm not surprised that solitude was hard to come by for Charlie. That many siblings and classmates would drive me mad.

Andy also seems like a fun person. I like that she gave Charlie a hard time and doesn't seem to take people's crap (and that she wants to play him at quidditch). Can they be bffs?!

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS. JUST TO ITERATE. ONCE A WEEK IS A GREAT TIMING FOR UPDATES. XOXOOXOXOXO

-rose

Author's Response: YAAAY FIRST REVIEW! Lots of loving you is happening.

Charlie is a sweetheart. He was very nearly sorted into Hufflepuff. I'm really glad that you like him!

Yes don't worry lots of dragons. SPREADSHEETS OF DRAGONS. Although I will warn you that they tend to get more "normal" rather than more fantastic. And smaller.

I'M ALSO REALLY GLAD THAT YOU LIKE ANDY. Spoiler: she gets a major plot-arch that will start in the next chapter. I will warn you that there will be times that you might not like her too much. But... that's probably true for pretty much everyone... I really love that you got that impression from her, though.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENTHUSIASM IT IS VERY ENCOURAGING I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!

This Friday there won't be an update, because this chapter was supposed to be this Friday, and I already have all of the chapter's file's labeled with their posting date and I don't want to have to go rename all of them.

BUT YES THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

-Georgia


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Review #4, by toomanycurlsLiberty: Albus

26th January 2015:
Hello!!

Thank you for doing a review swap! I like what I've seen of Liberty so far. Her metamorphmagus changes are adorable and of course her cat needs to be hugged. I'm not positive if you mean James or Albus when you refer to Potter. I suppose this would be Albus (I'm just really crappy at keeping next gen stuff straight). Oh yes, definitely Albus - that came through in the descriptions. Having a super large cat would be annoying but probably not devasating.

Yay!! Invisiblity cloak fun is always a nice distraction. I kind of wish I had more info about their chat with former headmasters - that sounds quite intresting. Haha, I love the idea of Rose turning them in! It seems like the kind of thing cousins might do to get at each other.

Very interesting start! I'll be excited to see where this goes. :)

-Rose

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Review #5, by toomanycurlsSeven--Four--One--Nine--Eight--Two (Am I a Good Man?): Chapter 1

26th January 2015:
I love this - it's quite complex and gives a very different view of Mr. Crouch. I feel as if you've captured a side of Crouch reminissant of the man we saw wander onto the Hogwarts grounds in GoF. I imagine that the idea of his son, put in jail at his own orders, turning 20 in prison would be unnerving. I'm sure things have been a bit uncomfortable between Barty and his wife since sending their son to jail...

The way you laid out Mrs. Crouch's illness and the terminal diagnosis makes me feel as if that might have been a catalyst for him looking to get involved with death eaters (At least it read like it happened before his son was sent away). I got a haunted house chill while reading this or like his son's wand is the tell tale heart, driving him mad.

Crouch's memories of the wand his son used was quite interesting. It makes me think he had quite a bit of magical study to know about wandlore and to notice the evolution of the wand's power. I felt so bad for him as he contemplated the type of magic Barty Jr did with his wand. :(

The scene with Crouch and Crouch was chilling. I don't know if I agree with Barty Jr blaming his father entirely for what he became, I mean, there were choices on his end that carved his path. I saw from your story for Dee that you're a Doctor Who fan, I think you captured the mannerisms from the film strikingly well.

By far, my favorite part was Winky's conversation with Mr. Crouch. He's so wounded that he's searching for consolation in his servant. I can see why everything going on his life would throw that question into play - 'am I a good man?' so powerful. The voice he's fighting agains had to be hell. Such deep pain and discord he's working through.

I've never read a story that focused on Crouch Sr. before but I think you wrote about him masterfully.

Thank you so much for a review swap

-Rose

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Review #6, by toomanycurlsLove is for Fools: Not a Fool

25th January 2015:
Dee!!

I love the 'love is for fools' line. It's so arrogant and haughty, very fitting for Sirius Black. The image you paint of Sirius the playboy and also the slight sadist with Remus' emtions just kills me. It makes me want to shake him for being so cruel. Though, it also makes me wonder if it was a love ever truly requited.

The pain Remus experienced during Sirius' time in Azkaban, eating away at his soul slowly, made me tear up. It was even worse when he blamed himself for not seeing the truth. I feel as if Sirius continued to keep Remus at arms' length when he was out of Azkaban.

What impresses me the most about this is that it is not only 500 words and so moving but that you followd the ABC challenge. I don't know if I've ever read a story that hit me so hard while following such a strict style. You are amazing for pulling this off and givng me the wolfstar feelz.

Thank you so much for swapping with me!!

-Rose

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Review #7, by toomanycurlsSaving Severus Snape : 2nd September 1976 - Part 1

25th January 2015:
so much to comment on in this chapter. this might be out of order but so is my brain. :P

I wonder what a light load would have been for Hermione. The thought made me laugh a bit - it's probably for the best that she signed up for a lot of classes. I do think it would be a bit weird if Hermione knew her way around really well on her first day. At least Flitwick's map reminded her to be a bit lost.

Snape is so mean and suspicious (though the last part I get). I'm not surprised he jumped to the idea that Hermione might be in with Sirius on some prank - but it is sad that he's had enough experience to make him think any girl showing interst in him is just in it for a prank. :(

Then there's Sirius. I get why Hermione isn't giving him an inch with his advances but I feel like she's truly dislikes him (not just his idiotic teenage behavior). I wonder how wounded Sirius' ego really is. Once again, I love how good of a friend Amelia is. She makes me wish I had a friend like her. Ha, meeting James can't have been easy. I love that he was their to highlight Sirius' humiliation. :D That seems very fitting for them.

Edgar and Otto seem interesting as well. I'm starting to think it'll be very hard for Hermione not to make an impression on her classmates.

I was so happy to see you putting Remus and Lily together as friends. I've always done that as well. I feel like they'd have a lot in common once Lily got past who he was friends with. haha, Remus is such a good friend to try to upsell James to Lily. I also love that Lily extended her friendship to Hermione - that especially reminds me of Harry.

great chapter!!

-Rose

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Review #8, by toomanycurlsSacrifice: Of Beginnings, Aurors, and Torn Photographs

25th January 2015:
This chapter has me kind of hooked. I love the criminal aspect you brought into this with the complicated homelife. The subversion from the Ministry is great - that Adina would recoil at the pride Harry and Dean showed in their Ministry outfits is an incredible way to show where she's at vis-a-vis the government. It is very interesting that they have aurors checking up on children - almost like they're suspected of being criminals themselves.

I'm dying to know what happened to their parents and why their father is on trial. This is such a novel premise for a next gen story!! I do like that Harry is at least a bit more kind to the kids. Even if they had been involved in something horrid, I can't see Harry being cold towards children. Already I admire Adina so much for her effort to pull and keep the family together. that's so much responsiblity for someone her age. Aw, Harry is just really sweet with them asking about quidditch and their first year at school. It must be a bit hard for him to have to follow up on a case when it involves friends of Albus and James.

Ending with them looking at a picture of their parents at the Yule Ball is driving me nuts! I must know more about them and it's a mark to your good writing that I'm so caught up in knowing more about this. Excellent chapter!

-Rose

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Review #9, by toomanycurlsWhen Summer Fades: solstice

25th January 2015:
I thought that with Summer's death itself not getting much in the way of attention in this chapter that I would not cry. But I was wrong. Regulus' lonliness was very profound after Summer died and you had to go poke his loss of Sirius as a friend and brother as well. gah. This isn't what made me cry though.

When Kreacher left to help Voldemort I was interested to see where you would take this emotionally and I found myself also worried for Kreacher though I knew he'd return. While I was caught up in the Kreacher/Regulus/locket affair, you had to go rip my heart out with the Phillips. Regulus was in such a difficult place with his own need to stay alive versus the pull to protect the woman he had come to know as an extra mother-figure. Part of me broke when Anne recognized him - I think part of regulus broke too. I wasn't surprised that Voldemort saw Regulus' emotions at the murder. I feel as if he would have been dead regardless of his quest for the locket. He's right about Voldemort being a bit foolish to break about his Horcrux as his followers like and have likely studied dark magic.

I almost had to cover my eyes as Regulus went to the cave with Kreacher, knowoing the awful fate that awaited him. I started crying as he thought of Summer and her strength. I was for real crying when Summer was more real to him. It reminded me of how Harry felt about the resurection stone pulling his parents, Sirius, and Remus back to him. It was like Summer was there to collect him. I'm glad the eternal summer line was the last because I could not have read on wtih the crying that was happening then (and now). I'm only somewhat sure that this is coherant (or the words I meant to type :P).

Thank you so much for writing this heartbreaking piece!

-Rose

Author's Response: that first part was definitely inspired by a lot of my own feelings of grief in that it's not so much what happened, but what it means, that's really affecting.

wow thank you, I'm so glad you connected that much with the story and were worried for Kreacher even though you knew what was going on. And yeah, as horrible as that part is with the Phillips, there needed to be something that completely tipped Regulus over the edge with no return, and that was that. You know, I think Regulus probably saw that as well (that he would have been dead regardless) and that was part of why he went through with his locket plan. He knew he was going to die for that, so he probably saw that he didn't have long anyway. Given all Dumbledore says about Voldemort's belief that he stood out, it seemed like something Voldemort would do to brag about Horcruxes and think no one would pick up on it. Dur.

Aw wow, I'm so touched about your reaction to the last part, and I love that you associated it with Harry seeing the Resurrection Stone, and how Summer was there to collect him - that's such a lovely way to see it. *hands box of tissues*

I'm sorry about the sheer depressingness of this :[ But thank you so much. Your reviews are the best. ♥


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Review #10, by toomanycurlsHouse of Cards: Queen of Diamonds

25th January 2015:
Aph!

The introduction of aurors was change an interestng change of pace here. The whole was different when Moody and Kingsley walked in. I also like Kreacher's introduction into the story. He's every bit as onery as we see later but happier with his masters. I love the way the James and by extension Sirius hero-worship Moody. The aurors must be a rather inspiring for younger people who want to fight against dark wizards. the disdain that meets Moody and Kingsley is really well done. The family is polite but not welcoming - great blend of reactions.

The conversation between Alphard and Walburga just blew my mind. I never thought I'd hear her defend him in any way. And I like that you're not making Alphard as much on Sirius' side as I thought he'd be. I laughed at Sirius' thoughts on Kreacher's cookies - having him think on his stomach is such a teenager thing.

No! What did you do to Regulus?!?! Part of me knows he can't be dead (unless this is AU) but gah, Sirius' emotions about it are devastating. You would never think this to be the same man who is later so indifferent about his brother's death. Everything is so dramatic!!

Amazing

-Rose

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Review #11, by toomanycurlsholocene.: the hallow bright.

25th January 2015:
Kiana!!

Is it weird that my phone remembers your name?

I loved this so much!! I haven't read a story where Draco is so broken before but you made it incredibly believable. Astoria is quite his savior in this. Their role reversal is incredible. For some reason I love the idea of Draco being broken like you show. No one can go through what he did without same sort of cumuppance. You've given Astoria a wonderfully strong role in this and it's very refreshing compared to most ways she's written.

Sorry this is short, I couldn't leave without dropping a note.

-Rose

PS love this

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Review #12, by toomanycurlsThe Last Snowy Feather: Biding Her A Silent Farewell

25th January 2015:
Hello!!

This is such a beautiful story with Harry and Hermione's friendship. You've captured them so well and true to canon. I feel like Harry needed to grieve for Hedwig as much as he'd need to grieve for any other friend. There's something in the diction you give hermione that is perfectly true to her without sounding like a rehash of lines from the book - I rarely see people get her speech down so well. I thought it was surprising that Hermione didn't know Hedwig had died but there was a lot going on then to point out her death. One minor thing - they took Harry from Privet Drive before his birthday rather than on (but that blurring of a book date makes it more of an emotional impact so it's not a huge thing).

It was so bittersweet to have him release her feather into the wind. On one hand that was his last keepsake from her but on the other hand it felt like setting her free. I love the way you've captured this moment and the relationship not just between Harry and Hermione but Hedwig's impact on Harry as he grew up.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hey Rose!

Thank you! I'm so happy you said so! Yes, yes. Harry did needed to grieve over Hedwig. To me, it should have been a vital part in the Deathly Hallows. It's a shame it wasn't in there. And Hedwig does practically seems human enough that she was worth writing this.

Oh? You think I did Hermione well? Hehe? Thanks!

No - actually, she did knew Hedwig was dead, but I assumed that she did not how Hedwig died, so that's what I meant when I summarized her question. She did know... in this fic.


Oh - you're right, you're right! I had forgot honestly until you told me. I'm glad though it doesn't disrupt the flow of this story. I am in the process of rereading the series.


Aw! Thank you! His letting go of Hedwig's feather was to set her free as well as to overcome his grief or come to acceptance of him losing her.


Thanks so much for reading! :)




- Asphodel


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Review #13, by toomanycurlsSaving Severus Snape : 1st September 1976 - Evening

24th January 2015:
Hermione's attempt to help Snape was quite interesting. I'm not at all surprised he was rude afterwards, well, ungrateful at least. I am a bit surprised Hermione didn't expect to have to build a slow relationship from the start. Snape isn't really cuddly and I'm not sure how much she'd expect him to change from teenager to adult. I would have expected Snape to at least have other death eater friends around him at the table. But, yeah, he might think Hermione is a bit weird for staring at him. And I could see him being mustrustful of anyone new in his life.

Ooh, Amelia! I'm so happy you had her in here at Hermione's new friend. She's so lovely. Boy oh boy, Sirius does lay it on thick. I can only imagine how uncomfortable this is for Hermione - you do a good job showing how his persistant flirting would just be horribly awkward. Imagine what Harry would say if he saw that. :P I love that Amelia is unmoved by Sirius' attempt to flirt with Hermione and that Hermione also seems disinterested. it seems like she almost didn't like him. And, yeah, Sirius is quite arrogant too.

Rita + Lockhart - I totally ship them now. What an annoying couple they'd make. I imagine they're qutie popular with their good looks and ambitious plans for life. It was sad for Hermione to meet so many people whose lives are either over or in shambles by the end of the second war. :(

I am incredibly excited about Hermione and Amelia being friends. They seem like they'd get on well and it's just nice that Hermione can rely on someone. Ooh, and her warning about Snape was very interesting - I wonder what past misdeeds she knows of.

great chapter!

-Rose

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Review #14, by toomanycurlsFull of Grace: It's Better This Way.

23rd January 2015:
Hi Beth!!

I don't read a ton of sonfics but I think you did a stunning job with this. I just felt so much of Molly's grief and sadness throughout and you did a wonderful job iwth her slow climb back to herself.

The connection you make between perfunctory tasks and staying focused while utterly checked out are very haunting. Her emotions certainly come through in your writing. The combination of a lack of desire to do work she previously enjoyed and the inability to do it well are such ringing halmarks of debilitating grief. I also like the way the seasons seem to mark a painful journey for her. It's always difficult to think of family who have died and what they have missed during big events or even just the coming of Spring.

Arthur's role in this perfectly shows their relationship. I imagine how helpless he felt with his wife in such a state of grief. Ooh, and her decision point on whether they had 6 or 7 children killed me. :'( I admire that he is trying his best to bring people together and yet he can't stop the sadness that consumes Molly. The line about feeling better being dangerous also hit my feels quite hard.

When Molly does start to climb out from under the grief, I am glad that it is on her terms. She's come to a point where she is comfortable with the idea of feeling better and begins that journey.

Your writing in this was so breath-takingly beautiful. Every word and phrase like art. Folding in her cooking made it feel almost like a dance or routine people could perform and the imagery of the passing seasons gave the story longevity that I can't quite articulate.

Amazing work!

-Rose

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Review #15, by toomanycurlsWhen Summer Fades: syzygy

23rd January 2015:
I SECRETLY READ AHEAD LAST NIGHT AND I'M SO MAD AT YOU! I *knew* this would be a heartbreaking story and and I still read it. :( :( :(

Summer's mellowness and despondancy while telling Regulus about having cancer is understandable. I mean, I'd be in tears. it's just such a difference in her from norma.l which, again, is expected. IT'S JUST SAD AND SHE HASN'T EVEN GOTTEN REALLY SICK FROM IT YET AND you took away her happiness. :( Regulus' reaction was kind of perfect. At least he realized how much she's been there for him (and I hope he's there for her now).

Again with the Sirius contrasts. Are you looking to poke every feel in this story? I loved their chat about Chirstmas. I mean, Regulus is treated like a prince (and I'm not surprised). Summer's Christmas sounds pretty fun as well - much more jovial though.

I guess if Voldemort is good for one thing, it's giving Regulus' parents an excuse for sneaking out. gah. more with the sirius. I feel like he's almost a character in this story if not just because of how much Regulus misses him.

His visit was wonderful. I'm crushed that she won't be going back to school this year and I can only imagine how hard that will be on Regulus. and and and I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN AND I'LL HAVE TO GLARE AT YOU MORE.

ALKFJALSKFJ WITH THE MEL REFERENCE AND STOP. My feels are going nuts. I'm also not surprised his mom chekced up on the claim to have plans for Voldemort.

For some reason, even though nothing overtly sad happens while he's back at school, this section made me incredibly sad. too sad even for caps. the whole note about Anne being like a mother but I can tell that she's nothing like his mother - it's just too much for me on a friday. don't let her health go downhill even more. i can't handle it.

Jasper doesn't seem as horrible here. I mean, he doesn't really support their friendship but he's not a jerk about it either.

The books on immortality and having him research what a horcrux is for her is making me cry. THERE ARE TEARS. darn it. I knew she knew and love that she's still there for him and IT CANT' BE THE END OF SUMMER. my husband is confused now about the tears. fyi.

oh I don't know if I can emotionally handle the last chapter.

-rose

Author's Response: aw! I'm touched that you decided to continue reading despite knowing that this would be a feels-destroying fic. *hugs*

this is where I think the other side of her characteristic acceptance shows - she just despondently accepts the fact that she's ill while it's hard for Regulus to wrap his head around the idea. But yeah, it was a huge wake up call for Regulus.

I love what you said about Sirius in this story - how although he never actually appears, he's basically a character in the story because Regulus misses him so much. I hadn't thought of it that way. Aw :'(

i'm glad you liked the christmas scene at the hospital. That scene - well really this whole chapter - similarly to how you wrote dull ache, this chapter is more personal experience than it is fiction. (well, except for you know, Death Eaters and Voldemort and stuff.)

as for your predictions... um, I'm just going to put on sunglasses because they reduce glare. (Ahaha, get it? :P)

I'm glad you appreciated (I think? there are many ways to interpret keyboard smash but I'm gonna take it as a good thing) that sort-of cameo from Melanie and I'm sorry it attacked the feels. Haha yeah, Mrs Black isn't really a trusting type is she

That's definitely what I was trying to show with Jasper - he's still not a particularly understanding person, and still very under the influence of the blood status obsession, but he cares about his friends and doesn't want them to get hurt. He's trying! :p

I'm sorry about the tears. But at the same time I'm really glad this touched you and made you connect with the story - it means a lot to know that people are affected by your writing (as i'm sure you understand as a writer yourself, who has written many things that crushed my feels as well.) so... *hands tissue*

Thank you so much for your review ♥


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Review #16, by toomanycurlsa little bit of coolness.: ok, things are getting awkward.

23rd January 2015:
Hi Missy!!

So sorry I haven't done this sooner. I was just in bed when you commented about doing this last night and work was just blah today. anyway, I'm here now and very excited about this chapter!!!

I love the tension you start the chapter with. I feel for Rose as she's so hyper-aware of awkwardness and tension. I like the balance of beginning and ending with Scorpius' gift - it feels very zen. I guessed that there was something between Rose and Scorpius before this and I love how you filled me in on their story while moving the story forward

I'm kind of fascinated by the idea of handling each of the presents and describing their wrapping/weight without opening them. How does she have so much patience!?!? I kind of agree with Scorpius - definitely shoudl have opened them right away (I'm never one for waiting though).

Anyway, back to the Scorpius/Rose development. I really love that Rose wanted to focus on her school stuff rather than having a boyfriend but I don't see why he'd be *that* mad as they didn't break up because of osmething more dramatic.

Layla sounds like a great, well-rounded OC. I like that you have them look alike but state that they are disimilar in personality. That in and of itself gives quite a bit of information about Layla.

Ah! I'm so sad her pretty dress got ripped (but that's me in anythiing nice - ruined the first time I wear it).

Ugh, I feel like Rose's family just doesn't pay her much mind. I mean, Hugo is completely indifferent to her and it's clear she's not close with Ron and Hermione.

and that had to be awkward with Layla commenting about Hugo. Friends and siblings should be a no.

Finally, some present opening :D

Jeans are an interesting present but I suppose they'd make for a nice thing for a witch. I liked Albus' book but I'm curious as to why it's hard to find. Anyway, the whole dramatic point is Scorpius' present. I love that he's still smitten for her and I can't wait to see what happens next.

-rose

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Review #17, by toomanycurlsWhen Summer Fades: equinox

23rd January 2015:
OMG OMG OMG MG MG G G G

(typing out the words seemed like too much work)

Here I am wrapped up in how Regulus is finally coming out of his shell and you do this to me?!?!? ughhghgh. why!?! I'll go back to the start though.

I love how you set Regulus up as the good boy (in pureblood terms) who really isn't into the bigotry stuff but it's what is expected of him. He's not a sinner or a saint, just a guy going through the motions. This really makes me sympathize with Regulus as well as other people who are raised in homes where bigotry is the norm. It's almost as if he doesn't know better. Also, I love that he sees Sirius as being happier as the rebel despite not being part of the family anymore.

His complaint that Summer is too happy just slays me. Partially because it's something i might say about an overly cheery person but it's also such a minor thing to someone who can't get over her blood status long enough to work past that. I love Summer's unrelenting cheer and I love even more that she's aware of Regulus' negative thoughts/demeanor but still pushes forward with a positive attitude.

It's so sad that regulus had doubts so soon with the death eaters. I like how you showed his hesitance at knowing what Rosier was doing - you didn't make him some noble dude who realized the humanity of what they're doing, it was a kind of selfish take on not wanting to do that himself. At their first sunset together, Summer is just remarkably kind. But, again, she's not oblivious. And, I loved his annoyance at Sirius using his name as a pun. xoxo

When the Slytherins started to ask Regulus about going out in the evenings I thought their friendship would be over (his and Summer's). I was just amazed at how accepting she is of him at this point. When they found the room of requirement, it felt just as much of a safehaven for them as it did for other students in the books. Oh how I wish Regulus could be free everywhere. :( And then when he broke down about not wanting to be in that life anymore and being trapped :'( :'( why must you hurt me so?

alright, the part i'm mad about. what the heck with the roller coaster about maybe she's dead and then with the 'we need to talk' business??! so many glares going your way

awesome chapter!!

-rose

Author's Response: Hi Rose!

I'm glad you liked the setup of Regulus. He's definitely not evil, but he's not really good either - he's just a confused teenager who doesn't want to be rejected. As you said, going through the motions. I'm really glad this made you sympathise with him - I think he really doesn't know better. And yes, he can see that Sirius is happy, despite that it goes against what he's been taught. It's confusing. Poor Reg.

Hahaha, yeah I would probably say that about an overly happy person as well! :p Regulus isn't a cheerful type but yeah I'd imagine that part of it is because he doesn't get why Mudbloods should be happy and he's not. I'm really glad you like Summer!

You've really nailed that thought about his doubts of the Death Eaters- exactly, it was a selfish thing, and not a case of him changing his mind about the whole cause. Summer gives off this happy-go-lucky vibe but as you've pointed out, she is quite perceptive. Haha, I love Sirius puns. But I imagine Regulus would get tired of them. :p

Summer is very accepting in a lot of ways, which marks the huge difference between her and Regulus' other friends. I just loved the idea of the Room of Requirement as a safe place where all their problems don't exist. But it only makes it harder once they leave the room :( Ah, I probably should have warned you, this story only hurts more feels as it progresses :S

Thank you so much for your review!!


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Review #18, by toomanycurlsBurning Inside: The Perfect Servant

23rd January 2015:
This is a remarkable story. It feels as if you crawled inside Bellatrix's mind and camped there for a few days before finding your way out to write about your journey. You've written one of the best character pieces I've ever read.

reading through the scene with the Longbottoms was a pull between not wanting to read more because it was breaking my heart but unable to look away because it was wonderfully done. I like that you didn't make it about the agony the Longbottoms felt but the power Bellatrix exuded. Your writing conveys the sense that Bellatrix was burning with passion for the acts she was committing and pride in her status and master. I loved her contempt towards the Longbottoms and their act of being blood traitors and worst of all, weak.

When you transition from the scene with the Longbottoms, I am glad you did so with such finesse. It gives the story a very difficult to obtain sense of surrealism.

The next section shows a bit more of the cracks in Bellatrix's mind. While reading this I got the imagery of Daenerys rising from the funeral pyre except where she met her followers, Bellatrix met her master. I've seen a lot of stories that try to give air to Bellatrix and a sexual vibe towards Voldemort. Yours is my favorite. she's obsessive and rabid but living in awe of his power.

Oh how I loved Cygnus questioning her about Voldemort's fall. I imagine that Cyngus is her own inner voice and self-hatred for letting Voldemort die. You made me feel sympathy for Bellatrix as her father is dragging her to the closet as a punishment. You're not really pushing to make her a person of sympathy but I like that you didn't go for the view that she was just born crazy and wicked.

In the end, her need to check that she still burnt for Voldemort showed that she does truly have a burning desire for him and his reign. It felt like the same thing someone does when they wake up in the middle of the night and have to check that the doors are still locked or their children in bed.

There is a challenge for nonlinear stories going and this would be an amazing addition to the stories there.

-Rose

Author's Response: Crawled inside of Bellatrix's head? The reviews I'm getting for this story are making me start to wonder whether I need therapy. Apparently I get Bellatrix a little *too* well.

I had a lot of misgivings about the scene in the Longbottoms' home. I definitely didn't want to glamorize it in any way. But this is told from Bellatrix's point of view, so I had to put that lens on it. You hit on one of my two big takeaways from that scene: her power and passion for serving the Dark Lord. The other thing I hope people caught onto was that her contempt wasn't limited to just the Longbottoms. Even her fellow Death Eaters are beneath her, as far as she's concerned.

Transitions... whew! This story is all about transitions and that's what I fretted the most about. I wanted the transitions between various scenes to be as smooth as I could get them.

Bellatrix and Daenerys make for an odd comparison. Similar backgrounds, but Daenerys has a sort of compassion for others while Bellatrix is almost completely devoid of it. I think you're seeing the sexual tension between Bellatrix and Voldemort the way I intended it, which is to say completely one-sided. Voldemort doesn't *feel* anything for her, sexual or otherwise. The pride he feels is entirely in himself, like a sculptor admiring a particularly well-carved statue.

I agree completely. To put it bluntly, I think Bellatrix has huge "daddy issues". Voldemort read her perfectly, as he's wont to do. He quickly realized that he could manipulate her by stepping into the role of her cold and impossible to please father. I don't see her as sympathetic. She's violent, prejudiced, sadistic and crazy. But she does have a back story, a reason why she is the way she is.

The ending seems to creep some readers out, so I'm glad you looked at it more in terms of motivations than outcomes. She's so far gone mentally that her devotion to Voldemort has become her only reason to live, and she needs to constantly reaffirm that.

I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the swap!


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Review #19, by toomanycurlsYou Are Part of Everything : Dear Prudence

22nd January 2015:
HOW DARE YOU, SIRIUS BLACK.

I'm just all GRR and anger over this and want to go slap his smug face.

You made it seem quite understandable that Prudence would think him sincere and gave a rather kind interpretation to her falling prey to Sirius' tricks. He was very convincing though. What definitely put me over the edge with Sirius in this is his mirth with regard to how he's treating girls.

The signs that she should have seen (but didn't have the experience to parse out) were:
-only doing stuff at night
-not having interaction with his friends and social group
-again, affection in hidden classrooms rather than something more public


These are all things that would set off alarms with experience but ARGH HE'S PREYING ON THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW BETTER. and it's so sad that she sees these gaps in the end

I just can't with his treatment of her THE NEXT BLOODY MORNING. A few weeks later, I get (kind of) but the next day is just beyond brutal.

Assuming Sirius does this on a semi-regular basis, I'm disappointed in his friends for not calling him on these antics. I mean, they would notice a pattern of having a handful of chicks go up to him thinking they're in a relationship.

I understand why you would leave this while Prudence is still in the midst of a heartache but I wanted her to get some good old fashioned revenge on her. At least jump at him with a curse showing 'TOWANDA!'

...that's enough of my weirdness for now.

xoxo
-rose

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Review #20, by toomanycurlsa little bit of coolness.: a silky dress and a happy birthday.

22nd January 2015:
Hi Missy! Sorry for taking a while on this.

I have fallen in love with your characterization of Rose and the relationship you've given their family. There's love but not closeness. I'm not sure I see her house sorting being the origin for Ron not being close to his daughter but it was a very sad thing for her to be so upset over their reaction to her house. I'm also fascinated by Rose as a Hufflepuff.

You've also put up a very astute interpretation of Ron and Hermione and how they'd be as a parenting unit. Also, Ron's awkwardness is brilliant. It's interesting that they would get her a present that is so spot on (unless she asked for it) as they're not terribly close. but that is my own assumption that knowing someone well comes with closeness.

Rose's aspirations to be more emotive and have a grand enterance into the great hall is fantastic. I have a feeling we'll get to see her do something close to this at some point. I also like that you didn't put Rose as the very well known Wotter like she is in so many stories.

My guess is that she got a cell phone but I'll be interested to see how that comes into play. I'm also curious about the box from WWW - if he usually doesn't do presents then it might be something more than it appears.

Oh it is sad that Rose has grown up with absentee parents. That is a reality though for people whose parents work demanding jobs. I am glad they put in the effort for her 17th.

I was getting all excited with the build up for her nice dress and how Cinderella-ish it was and then her friends didn't even notice. That was quite depressing.

Thank you so much for doing a swap! Let's do another sometime.
-Rose

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Review #21, by toomanycurlsTo Tell Our Story: Three

20th January 2015:
OF COURSE THEY MET BEFORE HE WENT TO HOGWARTS. WHY AREN'T PEOPLE WRITING THAT INTO THEIR STORIS? WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? you are a genius.

and of course she spills tea on him. and I'M THROWING SERIOUS SHADE AT THOSE AURORS.

haha, and of course he's following Dumbledore's advice. and I want them to be snog buddies but I love that their friends.

I really love her response to Remus' "i'm a werewolf" reveal. Can I go on a date with her?

REMUS TRYING TO DRIVE HER AWAY WITH HIS 'SHOCKING' FACTS WAS JUST. I CAN'T. THEIR STORY IS ONE OF ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE AND YOU MADE IT BEAUTIFUL.

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Review #22, by toomanycurlsTo Tell Our Story: Two

20th January 2015:
I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T FINISH REVIEWING THIS. HOW ARE YOU STILL MY FRIEND??!!

I loved this. Loved it to pieces and then some. You made Tonks so strong and resolute that I have to love her and and the way she told Remus how it was when he came back was just brilliant. He was such a coward for leaving. I really loved the line about his ability to get over himself.

this has become part of me.

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Review #23, by toomanycurlsSweet Talk: Welcome to Honeydukes

20th January 2015:
Hi Leigh!!

I'm so glad we did a swap. I'm not sure I've read anything by you yet and I'm quite glad that I have. Your writing style and the voice you've given Sweets in this is very engaging. I love the word choice and sentence structure you use, it makes her sound a bit like an old soul. Though, that impression is quite at contrast with the teenager who is being pushed into taking over the family business. Are her parents planning to stop working when Sweets is out of school? Most heiresses take ownership of whatever it is they get when their relative who owns it dies (or decides they are too old to do it themselves). I feel it's a bit unfair for them to have her step up to that responsibility wtihout some other circumstance.

It's remarkable how descriptive you made the chapter without going into tedious detail (or making it feel tedious). I'm impressed with the way you parse out information with clever clauses and very creative phrasing. Reading this I would think you write novels for a living.

This is a great chapter and I'm really stoked to read more of this.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi Rose!

Sorry for getting back to this so late. I'm terrible with responding to reviews :p

Thanks so so much for all the kind words. I suppose she does have an old soul, huh? Honestly, most of my main OCs do because I have an old soul :p so that's a bit of me coming through my writing. And yes, Sweets is one of those teenagers itching to see the world rather than pursue the family business. Yes, her parents are planning on stopping when Sweets gets out of school. I wanted to mix it up rather than her taking it over after her parents pass. It is entirely unfair, I agree.

Thanks so much! Sometimes I'm afraid I get a little too descriptive. :p And how I wish I wrote novels for a living! But thank you, that put a large smile on my face :D

Thanks!

-Leigh


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Review #24, by toomanycurlsThe Best Day of My Life : The Best Day of My Life

17th January 2015:
I'm glad you posted a review swap, I wanted to give this a bit of love.

I like the game you played with this, having people think Al was hesitant to come out when he wanted to tell them about his job change. Very sneaky and a great way to play on people's assumptions. Poor Al was so stressed about his family's reaction and fall out. I don't know if I could ever see Harry and Ginny being completely unsupportive of their kids ambition. Though their concern was very realistic.

I really like how you characterized Al and Scorpius. I especially enjoyed your analogy with him valuing preservation over bravery - that gave me so much information about him as a person. Scorpius is very Slytherin with the way he gets Albus to talk to his family (and bravery at the fact that he had already told his).

Their engagement was adorable and it made me want to hug someone (specifically them). I laughed at Al saying it wasn't especially romantic but he was right that it was a good moment for that to happen.

Author's Response: Hi Rose! I'm thrilled that you did the swap and gave this a bit of love! ;) ♥

Thank you!! I was really, really hoping that everyone would guess that was what Al was so nervous about. That was exactly what I was going for; playing on people's assumptions. I couldn't word that any better. :) He really was a ball of anxiety and nerves, the poor thing. I don't think Harry or Ginny would be either. I hope they didn't come off that way. I was going for more like shocked, then concerned and then finally supportive of the idea.

I undoubtedly believe that Albus is a Slytherin. I don't think that JK would have written that in the Epilogue if he wasn't going to end up there. Scorpius was just fantastic there! :) I'm thrilled that you liked both of them! ♥

I'm beyond happy that the engagement seemed to pay off! It was honestly a last minute thing that happened. I wasn't planning on it, but I guess I felt the same as Al did. ;) The moment just felt right to me.

Thank you so much for the swap and another awesome review (they always make me smile)!! ♥ ♥

xoxo Meg


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Review #25, by toomanycurlsHouse of Cards: Jack of Clubs

16th January 2015:
Hi Laura,

I've missed reading this. I'm so excited to see there's another story (along these lines) that you're working on.

I was surprised by Sirius' hesitance to give his parents the vial of potion. He is acutely aware of the accusation that could come his way at finding the potion. I feel that he would have been more forthcoming if he weren't such a low man on the totem pole. It's also interesting to see Sirius without a jaunty ego - his self awareness of an inadequacy in potions shows a very grounded Sirius. That could be due to his rather unfavorable position at home. This is the first time Walburga shows anything close to kindness to Sirius. I mean, she's sharp about getting his clothes messy but that came through as a general maternal reaction rather than her usual "I rue the day you were born" depiction. Part of me is suspicious of her because of this slightly nicer version of her.

Loved the dynamic in drawing room. Alphard might be my favorite member of the Black family with his sideways comments to Orion and reference to Sirius being a blood traitor (though I'm not sure he meant it as a mean comment like Sirius thought). One thing that struck me in this scene and with Sirius' reactions throughout is that if he had this kind of treatment throughout growing up (the inclusion and sense of belonging) would he have been less inclined to leave and more forgiving of the pureblood mentality. I felt a slight conflict in Sirius at being treated as an equal among the men in his family. After feeling conflicted by Alphard's words, it just felt like such a confusing moment for him.

Okay, Pollux's death was really well done. Whoever did it took such a risk with that many people in the room who were presumably not the target. it must have felt like such a weird and confusing time for family members to drop like flies. My guess is that Pollux died because he knew who killed Cygnus. What took me by surprise was the house elf's death.

I really love how you weave information in and out of this, presenting new facts as the plot needs them and always with such a feel of dramatic tension.

fantastic chapter!

-Rose

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