Reading Reviews From Member: toomanycurls
790 Reviews Found

Review #1, by toomanycurlsTaming the Dragon Tamer: [one]

20th May 2015:
Sorry for being so late to do my end of our swap. I've seen your story in the queue and have been wanting to come back and read it properly. I love stories about Charlie and have only read one other (besides my own).

You do a great job explaining who Charlie is. I'm frustrated that he doesn't think his family would accept a man he brought home - mainly because I think that worry is in his head and not a legit concern. I do get his discomfort being the only bachelor in a group of mostly younger siblings who have advanced further in their socioeconomic status - and the badgering about his love life would get old.

I laughed at Charlie not being able to just stay away from work. Not working can be grating so I do understand the desire to get back to something.

Charlie's attraction to Christopher is almost as interesting as his outburt to giving a tour to someone in a wheelchair. It's like he felt two extremes towards the same person. His boss gets an A+ for telling Charlie to check his attitude.

I'm definitely coming back for more!!


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Review #2, by toomanycurlsThe Girl and the Fey: A Wizarding Bedtime Story: A Wizarding Bedtime Story

20th May 2015:

I really like the idea of an orgin story for witches and wizards. I am left wonderingif there are still Fey about. It's very fitting to have the Fey as scapegoats for problems the people have. I am surprised there weren't squirmishes between the humans and Fey.

Ooh, here's a war. :D Was the tragedy the amount of death or a particular incident?

It's so interesting that the girl had dreams of the Fey. I'm not surprised the girl ventured out to find the Fey with the dreams she's been having. I like that the boy was equally curious about the humans. Their friendship certainly does seem sweet. It's so sad the boy was wounded to the point of death but his passing on his magic like he did was a great gift to give his friend.

I really enjoyed this as a nice children's tale!


Author's Response: Thanks for the swap! And it was tragedy with the amount of death. I'm glad you enjoyed!

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Review #3, by toomanycurlsWhimsy: Rain Rain Go Away

20th May 2015:

I quite enjoyed reading this! It's so sweet and fits perfectly for the Lovegoods and a young Luna. I was excited when you told me it would be about Luna.

Seeing a bit of how Pandora was with Luna made me so sad for how she could have grown up with both parents. I see Xeno being a bit more single-focused on his wok after his wife's death. I really love immersive fantasy for kids where they can get taken away in thought and imagination.

Pandora describing the magical creatures really put this story into a very sweet place. I do like Luna recounting her adventure to Xeno and his responses - especially where he's adding magical creatures to the visual fantasy.

You did a remarkable job on this sweet and delightful read.

Author's Response: Hi Rose!!

Thank you so much for stopping by to check this one out!

I'm glad that you think this story fits the Lovegoods.

It was sad looking at this moment, knowing what would happen later. I imagine that Xeno was much happier and lighter when she was still alive. After her death, I agree with you that he would've probably thrown himself into his work as a distraction.

I originally was going to make this story just about Luna, but once I started writing I knew I had to add her parents in as well.

Thank you so much Rose! Writing a child was a challenge for me, so it makes me happy beyond belief to hear that you think it was successful.


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Review #4, by toomanycurlsDestiny: Destiny

19th May 2015:
I love stories where Sirius is married!!! love love love

Ah! Of course this broke my heart a little. I thought things would go amiss when Sirius *thought* she felt the same. :'( It's so painul to see the love lost between them but it makes sense that Terese would be confused. It's especially sad as she was Sirius' bright spot that got him through Azkaban. It really wouldn't be reasonable for her to wait though - not for a convicted mass murderer. I do like that Remus has a happy relationship with someone through all this - he so rarely gets a nice love story. It feels very fitting that Molly would not like people stepping out of their relationships, even if it's only emotionally. Considering the AU and OC tags on this, you really did a great job making this a moving piece!

Thanks for swapping!


Author's Response: I love the idea of Sirius being married too. I thought it was so sad that he never had the opportunity. It really is a complicated situation! Perhaps more complicated than is shown here... And Molly would be disapproving, bless her!! Thank you so much, I'm really really happy you enjoyed it!

Sophie xx

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Review #5, by toomanycurlsFind My Way: Owls

19th May 2015:
It's been so long since I read the first chapter. I love where you picked this up. Part of me feels like the Gryffindor Prefect is making Scorpius' life hard on purpose but I got a laugh out of that idea. It was nice to see Scorpius with his friends. Jia is very interesting (and I love her affinity for languages) and Oliver feels like the token straight person (which I love that you included). I mean, there's more to him than that but it's a nice turn on the token gay person. (Unless Oliver is gay, then I'm gong to pretend I didn't say anything.) It's nice to see how well they know each other - especially Oliver seeing through Jia's reason to go watch the Quidditch tryouts. ha! Jia sounds like a fun person to know (perhaps not one to always follow the rules).

Part of me wanted to roll my eyes at how Scorpius worked hard to not let on that his book had been ruined after his lesson with Albus. It feels like part a power struggle adn part saving face. And I feel so sad at Scorpius imaging Draco as indifferent to his letter. :-/ Scorpius is such a nerd, I love it.

The part I've been waiting for: Scorpius and Alubs - awkward together at last.

I love how much both boys are walking on eggshells around each other. Scorpius wants to keep his need for a new book private and not show too much interest in Albus (but does once they start talking) and Albus is trying so hard to be indifferent and austere. It's great. I'm willing to bet that Albus really didn't want Scorpius to guess why he was hiding out alone. I feel like Scorpius' ability to see why Albus is upset is more to do with his careful observation of Albus rather than some Ravenclaw super power. We've definitely seen more of Scorpius in this chapter but I love how Albus' personality shines through. This threat of violence at being offered help back to Gryffindor Tower made me laugh. Alright, this is mean, but I would have laughed if Scorpius walked into a wall and Albus didn't.

Now I need to know what happened to Albus and how he became blind. It's interesting that it didn't make the news, but maybe the news is less... gossipy then. It was really sweet of Scorpius to realize Albus was uncomfortable and try to do something about it. I feel like this whole interaction has raised more questions about Albus than anything else. I think Albus is part ninja by the way he disappeared.

Thanks for doing a swap! I loved this.


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Review #6, by toomanycurlsHermione Granger: Prologue: Harry Needed Her

19th May 2015:

I'm so afraid for what is to come. This first chapter/prologue gave me chills and I'm just going to accept that there will be pain.

Just over a thousand words and I *need* to know more. I have to know why Hermione is so quiet and a shell of who she was. I need to know what ahppened to her in the months since Ron and Harry last saw her. *need*

I am in awe of your description of the after-affects of the cruciatus curse. I mean, I hadn't thought of Bellatrix's curse lasting for days after it was cast but now that you've said it, I buy it and I'm wondering why more people haven't included that in their writing.

As many times as I've read and listened t DH, I never considered how much Hermione endured to stay with Harry and help him in his fight against the horcruxes. I feel kind of like a jerk for not considering it now. I love how everything you write folds so well into canon and makes easy headcanon for things that should have been there all along. Please update this soon (and Hurricane Luna) because I need more of your writing.


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Review #7, by toomanycurlsA Disaster In The Making: Mr. Evans

17th May 2015:

Castiel sent me to review your story (he's so kind and offered to swap on your behalf).

I really like the premise of this story as I've always imagined there being more than one awkward meeting between Petunia and James (and Lily/James and Vernon). I can only imagine how much hate Lily must have shown James at home for her father to be truly concerned about Lily bring him over for winter break. Though, it's hard to see how Mr. Evans would equate his wife having an illness (I'm assuming cancer or the likes) with Lily having a change of heart about a boy. It's interesting that Lily didn't share her falling out with Snape wth her father (though, perhaps her mother's illness kept updates about school friendships at bay).

Petunia seems to be a bit more complex than she's usually portrayed which is quite enjoyable. Reading Lily's letters but not admitting to it, and knowing enough about her sister to know the name of a boy she doesn't like shows at least a lot of attention paid to Lily. Though, we do see the in books that Petunia often says one thing and does another (such as not liking some celeb divorce but reading magazine articles about it).

This sets a great stage for an eventful Christmas holiday. I love that you used Anthony Stewart Head as the face claim for Mr. Evans. I'm a BtVS fan so I was excited to see him.


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Review #8, by toomanycurlsPainted : Painted

14th May 2015:
500 words of punching me in the feels. (that is my one-liner for this story)

I love the repetition in each paragraph and how each describes a discrete moment or era in her life. It gives such a wonderful glimpse into key moments in her life. The first two sections do a great job focusing on the issues she'd face as a young girl and what it'd be like to have newly discovered powers.

The three at school hit on times when I imagine Lily struggling the most at Hogwarts. I couldn't imagine dealing with James and not growing to hate him. I lovex10 that she found the RoR to paint in. It's very fitting that each painting matched her mood around the events she was experiencing. I'm not sure if this was intentional but having Severus sandwiched between two James induced painting moments seemed rather fitting and hits on the fissure their falling out caused for Lily.

Lily painting the nursery while pregnant was darling and I kind of hate you for how you finished it (I now those aren't connected thoughts but they're connected in my head). I can't begin to talk about the last section. I tried but I just keep staring at the words (and wondering if you're just trying intentional to stab my feels).

I loved this - you did a great job with 500 words!!


Author's Response: Hey Rose!! ♥

Mwahahaha! My turn to return the favor. *grins evilly*

I think the thing I was the most unsure about was the repeated line at the beginning of each paragraph, so hearing that it worked is very refreshing. :) I liked it, but I wasn't sure if the reader would find it irritating or not. I'm glad you didn't!

I know what you mean! I was so not a fan of the James Potter we saw in OotP. I'm sure he changed, but before that, he was such a jerk. I don't blame Lily for hating him. I liked the idea of her knowing about the RoR, just stumbling upon it one day. And yeah, Severus was placed there intentionally and basically what I was going for. :D

I loved that whole moment of her dancing around the nursery while painting and I kind of hate myself for how I finished it, too. I can neither confirm nor deny if intentional feel stabbing had taken place. ;)

Eep! Thanks so much Rose! I'm sorry (not really, but we'll pretend) about your feels! :p Thanks for doing the swap! They're always fantastic!! *hug*

xoxo Meg

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Review #9, by toomanycurlsSomething Unforseen: Something Unforseen

14th May 2015:
Thanks so much for doing a swap with me!!

I really love seeing James and Scorpius get together from Albus' POV. Stories that play with the idea of a limited perspective from the narrator are some of my favorites as it shows such control to not throw everything at the reader. I was surprised to see you not ship Albus and Scorpius in this (only because you've written about them so much and I personally have a difficult time juggling multiple headcanons). Until Albus was musing about Scorpius' cousin, I really was expecting them to be the LGBTQA relationship. I like surprises so I was glad to be wrong.

You did a great job slowly revealing James' interest in Scorpius (and vice versa). I can see how Albus wouldn't read into his friend's motives or James and Scorpius hanging out a bit while living under the same roof. I could really tell that Albus and Scorpius have a great friendship but absolutely zero attraction between them (which is remarkable because I would struggle to give someone a different characterization/relationship pattern than I had in the past).

If there's a point where Albus should have seen a hint about Scorpius and James, it was when James arrived at the Burrow. At least Scorpius' greeting is very eager for just his best friend's brother. I can only imagine the kind of flirtation and innuendo that happened between James and Scoprius before they really started kissing (assuming they weren't up at 1:30 in the morning making out). As much as I want to see how their relationship developed, I like the restricted view.

My guess is tha Albus is too preoccupied with turning 17 and everything that brings to have noticed Scorpius and James. Coming of age for wizards is a bit all consuming. I really liked the contrast between Harry and Hermione (though it's sad that Hermione is the stodgy old aunt). ha, maybe they were making out pre-chocolate cake (though, I wonder why Scorpius was distressed).

Albus' reaction to his brother and best friend making out is bang on. I mean, I think that's the same reaction a person would have to any friend and sibling making out. I can sympathize with Albus feeling like the third wheel (with his departure from their make out locale) or feeling like his friendship would be displaced by a romance but it sounds like he's on the path to being okay with their relationship.

Great story!!


Author's Response: Thanks Rose for a great review, and for swapping with me!

It was really hard not to make this a Scorbus story too, but it was fun to try something different. :)

I guess Albus is too occupied by himself to notice anything until it's literally right in front of him. I suppose he needs some time to adjust, mainly because of the fact that his older brother uses to be pain to him, but now his best friend is in love with him,. I think I would be jealous if I was in his shoes.

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Review #10, by toomanycurlsUnravel. : Pansy.

14th May 2015:

I've always wondered what sort of pressure Pansy was under to fit in, to be her role. I really like the way you've portrayed her (and the expectations she was living up to). Even in the first paragraph it's clear that Pansy is under immense pressure to fit in and perform. I wonder if her mother knows the stress she's under. Even with the undue pressure, it's nice that she's interested in the career ahead of her. At least, I hope she really is.

Based on this story, it does seem that Draco is generally indifferent to Pansy but I like that he at least asked (at some point) about her eating/food management. I wish Pansy tried to connect with Draco as a peer versus... whtever you'd call her approach. I just feel like she's not showing her full potential with him (like people who are afraid to show they're smart). Dunno, her relationship with him would have gone differently if she treated him like a person and not an idealized figure. While Draco was interested in understanding Pansy early in thier Hogwarts years it's clear that at this point he sees her as an object (based on her going to his room at his leisure).

Given the critical way Pansy leads her life, I wasn't surprised to see her suffer from an eating disorder. When I've been sick at work (morning sickness and migraines mostly) I do the same thing where I try to find the bathroom furthest away from other people so that I can be sick and not have people know. I feel so bad for Pansy as she tries to live up to her mother's life and body image. She's never described as particularly pretty (at least pug-face isn't something I'd look for as an attractive trait) which makes me think she takes after her dad a bit more. And a bit more sad is that her dad seems to think she's underweight. :( I'm pretty sure her mom is unaware of the negative impact she's having on her daughter.

This ia really fantastic glimpse into Pansy's character - thanks for doing a swap!!


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Review #11, by toomanycurlsIsabella: Thirteen Candles

13th May 2015:

You have an amazing gift for description. I know I've said that about food in the past but this chapter makes it clear that you have a great talent for all description. Reading about Isabella's surroundings made me want to go somewhere warm and remote (which is extra appealing as it's cold and rainy here). Based on how well you described this area and the seasonality of the weather, I feel as if you've been there quite a bit. The description of rain really put me in her shoes for a moment - I love that pre-rain moisture.

Isabella seems quite close to her horse and cattle (which makes sense as their livelihood depend on their life stock). Reading her actions and behavior around them tells so much about her, which I love much more than just being told information. Even the way she reacts to smelling her cattle shows that she values them (I mean, I usually can't get past the poop).

Despite people saying 13 is the age she'll start to grow up, Isabella seems quite grown up for a person her age. she's responsible for the care of the animals (or at least is doing a good job with them today). The thoughtfulness she shows with the horse (wrapping him in a blanket so he doesn't catch cold) is not what I'd expect to see from someone her age.

Now we hit the part where my stomach starts to growl. Okay, if they're using a molcajete to grind the ingredients for mole, that could be why the heartier ingredients went unnoticed by me. Having the smell of chilis and other spices choke people out of the house was my life growing up. Everyone's parents make the best of whatever food they like.

I'm really curious to know why the crazy lady busted down their door. I'm sure it has something to do with her saying that 13 would be a year of upheaval but did she have to cause it!!?! I really hope you write more of this soon!


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Review #12, by toomanycurlsFounders Four: Pillars of the Ages: Chapter one: The Beginning

12th May 2015:

So, I like founder era stories and right away I love that your tone and voice are perfect for this era. I'm quite jealous that you're able to hit the right voice without going all Old English on us.

Salazar seems much more bookish than I'd expect for the ancestor of an evil dark lord. I appreciate that you didn't make him evil from the start - it gives him a chance to be more than history remembers.

Even after a few sentences about Godric, he seems very noble and brave. I love the mystery you put foward with Godric's two week ride - it's clear that something major has happened and I like that it's open ended at this point. I was surprised that Godric was mentored by Salazar's father but I love that it's given deductively rather than explicitly stated.

Godric seems a bit short tempered (though - I suppose I would be mad after a two week journey if someone gave me bad directions). It really fits in with the bravado I expect from him though.

Ooh, an argument. I really enjoy the narrative from Godric's perspective. He's a very astute observer. I'm very curious to know what Marcus and Ingvar were arguing about (or what the threat was he made). Something about Marcus makes me think he's a forerunner of the Malfoy family (grey eyes, blond hair, sneer).

Their exchange (Godric and Ingvar) was quite intense. I really like the wit in their dialogue and the sharp volley.

This is an excellent start to your story!! It's very well written and makes me want to read on.


Author's Response: Thank you so much Rose! I always have had the headcanon that Salazar is a bit of a bookworm, it just seems like it would fit to me. I don't think he would have started out evil, not if he's going to be best friends with Godric and the others. It wouldn't add up.

Yeah, I don't like going flat out and telling people things right away, I myself get bored when people do that. It makes the plot too predictable, doesn't give you anything to guess at, you know? Besides, it's fun letting it out a bit at a time and watching everyone speculate! XD

Like I've told others, don't let yourself fit them into their house stereotypes right away. They're already surprising me, I'm sure they have more in store for all of you guys.

Yeah, I realized how close Marcus was to Lucius after writing him, but it just seemed to fit. I think Marcus is a bit more hotheaded and rash, though. Malfoy is more carful with his bullying, more privet and carful others don't know too much. Marcus just relies on power to make people do things, he's not as sly, I don't think.

Yes, I love writing witty conversations. Snark and attitude is just so much fun to write!

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Review #13, by toomanycurlsIt Used To Be Worse Here : It Used To Be Worse Here

8th May 2015:
I can't believe you'd do this to me. Scorpius and Albus are one of my favorite ships and you just smashed them beautifully and unequivically. You've done a remarkable job with the second person POV as well as make me die a little.

Albus' musing in the beginning certainly didn't bode well and now that I'm re-reading it, I can see he is in prison. He's clearly still in love and hates himself. You've communicated so much in the first section and made a rivetting introduction to the story.

It's hard for me not to kind of hate you for making Albus (and me) go through this. I 100% get the fun and anticipation of surprising a significant other at home. My stomach churned as Albus realized Scorpius was not alone. I really enjoyed how you've slipped in bits about them as a couple - especially the comment about the dragon roll (one of my favorites too). It made them really easy to identify with.

This line is just perfect "They took on the color of blood, which you both shared - yet apparently that meant nothing to her."

Ugh, the blind rage and instant remorse just - I can't. If they were muggles I'm sure the rage would have been another sort of fight but Albus had magic to do the worst. The physical change you describe hit me so hard - it is like he lost a bit of his soul. Oh poor Harry, having to go arrest his son.

When I first read this, I didn't realize he was in prison until near the end. It broke my heart to know he was so tormented (even though killing two peoplw isn't good either). The line about how it used to be worse there was just powerful and such a great but bitter way to end this wonderful story.


Author's Response: Hi Rose!

Yay! Thank you! I mean - I am so very sorry. :p

This killed me. Every bit of this story killed me. I still don't know why I entered the incredibly wicked (and so, so brilliant) Ship sinking challenge. I had to re-read my fluffy Scorbus (and begin planning the next installment of it) immediately after this. So I totally understand your hatred of me.

I know! There's nothing like being able to get out of work early and come home to surprise your S.O. with food. (Dragon rolls are my absolute fav as well) And then... bad things. Ugh. Al, I'm sorry!

I just imagined him having one of those moments. One of those that you hear/read about where you just completely black out. And you're right, with him being able to do magic, it caused much more damage. :(

Oh yay! I kind of wanted this to be one of those stories that if/when you re-read it, it's a different experience from the first time!

Thanks so much much, Rose! And don't feel bad, every bit of this killed me, too. :( Don't hate me *too* much. ;)

xoxo Meg

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Review #14, by toomanycurlsTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone.

22nd April 2015:

I don't think I've mentioned before but your details are really great. I love how well visualized each location and person is. I've never been able to write with that kind of precision and I'm a bit jealous of your eye for detail.

Onto some drama - I cannot believe that Dorea just read Hermione like that. I mean, I can and it's not too much of a surprise that Harry's grandma is a powerful witch but wow. It does make sense given her love and feelings of protection over Sirius that she would suss out anyone who seemed off.

Next bit of drama - I was worried that Sirius would completely fly off the edge with overhearing Hermione's true past. I'm glad that he was reasonable enough to listen to Hermione because I would have been very angry if they broke up unnecessarily (because they wouldn't sit down and talk). I was also worried that Hermione wouldn't open up and cause another reason for them to part ways on bad terms. Sirius took the news of everything pretty well. It's interesting that she didn't reveal Peter's betrayal but she still said not to use his as Secret Keeper. I feel like Sirius will see through that.

I love that they had sexy time and cracked up at James' reaction.

Dorea's apology seemed out of place. I mean, she didn't do that by accident so why not stand by her decision?

Hermione's gift to Sirius is really sweet. In the end, I'll be very interested to see if Sirius lives and how his love life turns out. I haven't looked to see if this is complete but if it's not you better keep working on it.

Thanks for the swap!

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Review #15, by toomanycurlsRace Against Time : Chapter 2

20th April 2015:

I love this chapter and your characterism of Remus and Dumbledore (and how true they are to canon). Emmeline is really coming to life through your writing.

I also really love that Sirius' escape was the catalyst for Remus getting the DADA job. His hesitation was dead on and I wanted to clap at Dumbledore's frustration at his stubbornness. Emmeline sounds like quite a good auror based on her thoughtfulness. Dumbledore not telling them about the protection is typical (and frustrating).

So, this hit me last chapter but I forgot to say something - but I'm curious why Emmeline wasn't introduced to Harry as an Auror (Mad Eye, Kingsley, and Tonks were pointed out as aurors so I'm curious why Emmeline wasn't). Anyway, back to the chapter.

The explanation of why Remus was on the train is great. I mean, it's always kind of bothered me and your explanation makes so much sense. I can't blame them for keep going back to how Sirius escaped. It must be an all-consuming thought for them as it was assumed to be impossible.

I'm excited to see Emmeline stay involved through the year. :D


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Review #16, by toomanycurlsA Christmas in Azkaban: A Flickering Flame

10th April 2015:

I really enjoyed your take on Sirius in Azkaban. I'm not sure if you've read The Count of Monte Cristo but the annual auror visit reminded me of the annual beating Edmond recieved at the Chateau d'if to mark the passing of each year. I imagine a verbal assault like the aurors gave him were a bit worse than a physical assault only because the words and feelings stay with people longer in Azkaban. I did think their taunts about his mother dying were unnecessarily mean (though, at least he learned that she died). It does explain how he knew stuff when he got out of prison.

The Christmas memory was so bittersweet. I imagine any sort of happiness, even momentary, would cause the dementors to swarm on someone. It's sweet that, despite having the dementors take it away afterwards, Sirius enjoyed and sought out happy memories from time to time.

Great one shot!


Author's Response: Well, meanness was what they were going for, after all. And yeah, I'd love to have everyone think I'm a master planner weaving those details together...but I honestly didn't think about that until after it had been written. I knew they'd both died while he was in Azkaban, but we didn't know when. His mother is implied to have died soon after his imprisonment considering how dirty it was when we're first introduced to the House of Black, but she could have just as easily been senile and Kretcher just not doing anything. Honestly, I could very easily picture that.

Yeah, bittersweet happens to be one of my specialties.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #17, by toomanycurlsBetween the Lines: Any-way-what-how

9th April 2015:

I feel most of my reviews on your stuff could be summarized by that word.

I would be terrified to write about Minerva as a young girl but you jumped in and made her so believable. I'm glad you didn't make her as rigid as she is as an adult but she seems very realistic. I love how smart and self-taught Minerva is. I really liked her reaction to the mean nickname (in that it did kind of unnerve her). I could see that happening to someone as heated as we see Minerva in the books but before she's really mastered being calm, cool, an collected (generally).

Amelia - oh how i adore her. I love that she didn't stand for the bullying but she didn't let Minerva stoop to hexing people in the hallways. She did a great job at difusing the hurt feelings Minerva had.

What I really like about this is how the chapter makes me feel. I love the budding friendship, sense of victory over Billius (Wealsey?!??!) and his immature antics, and something along the lines of a thrill of exhileration at being young girls. I got the feeling that Amelia knew who Minerva was much more than Minerva had been aware of her.

Excellent chapter!!


Author's Response: Aaah! Rose. I can't even with your reviews. Oh, my. I'm so, so glad that I did Minerva justice. This story has been knocking around in my head for ages and the logophile's challenge sort of hit me over the head with the word "ameliorate" and I took it as a sign and hammered out the first chapter.

Yes! It is Bilius Weasley - Ron was named after his great uncle, if I recall and I ran with it :)

Amelia is much better at reading people than Minerva - and although Minerva is book-smarter than Amelia (at least a little bit), she has a lot of growing to do in the area of personal relationships.

Thanks again Rose - ah! This review was awesome!

♥ Beth

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Review #18, by toomanycurlsTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : Peter Pettigrew's Potential Problem

9th April 2015:

I love that Hermione schemed to get all of them at the Christmas party together. She had the same idea for her and Harry going together so I'm not surprised she thought of that with this group. It's always nice to have the thoughtful, inclusive friend.

Wow, Lily's dress is quite the JLO style item. Both Lily and Hermione donned quite provacative dresses for the party. I think the guys should have worn revealing dress robes. Hey, equality is equality. :P

haha, I love that James and Sirius went arm in arm together. Their personalities make me laugh so much.

I like your commentary on Sluggy here - I mean, it's an awful way to treat people (like the either matter or don't). I'm not sure if the treatment is worse for Peter or Remus - neither are swimming in conidence.

Oh wow, it's surreal to see Snape bully Peter into betraying his friends. I am curious what made Snape seek out Peter (and I have to comment/ask how Snape didn't suspect Peter over Sirius if he knows Peter goes on to spy for Voldemort). I'm not sure it would be quite the same dishonor for Hermione to approach them with facts about Peter talking to Snape about joining the death eaters.

Aw, it sounds like Sirius is a bit worried about losing Hermione. Her behavior must seem quite erratic towards him.

Poor Remus - it's not fair that his friends outted his condition (though Hermione already knows). Lily is so sweet to Remus and his reaction got me all emotional too. haha, Hermione is quite the actress here. Being upset that Sirius didn't tell her something she knew but he didn't know she knew. :P that's great. I do hope Peter also feels like they're his brothers. *sigh*

Great chapter!

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Review #19, by toomanycurlsRace Against Time : Chapter 1

9th April 2015:
I read this last night before I dozed off and I'm so happy you're writing this for NaNo. I'M ALSO SO TERRIFIED ABOUT WHAT YOU'LL DO TO MY EMOTIONS.

Okay - I find it interesting that Emmeline got over Sirius but still never dated anyone else. I mean, in what way is that getting over someone?!!? I guess that I get she was emotionall scarred and didn't want to open herself up to anyone. Still, in my head, there was some post war luvin' for Emmeline.

I love hte contrast between a normal, quiet morning and then the shock of seeing Sirius had escaped from Azkaban. Her reaction definitely makes me think she has some post traumatic stress going on. I kind of wonder if the Ministry will get suspsicious of Emmeline as she took the morning off the day her ex broke out from prison. I know it's been years and she's an auror, but police tend to look to the last known relationship when someone is on the run.

Ooh, your depiction of Remus is quite dark. At least, having him as an alcoholic slob is interesting. I love that, despite not seeing each other for years, Emmeline just busts into Remus' place and wakes him up because the person they were both extremely close to is on the run. On my second read through, I definitely feel like Emmeline is questioning Remus about Sirius' escape (like making sure he didn't have anything to do with it). Their synchronisity at deciding to go to Dumbledore was brilliant (and hilarious).

um, post more of this soon. or else.


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Review #20, by toomanycurlsSaving Severus Snape : vii.

31st March 2015:

I love the information Hermione gets from the time travel book, basically giving her free reign to interact with an attitude that she's meant to be there. It's kind of mind-blowing to think about the time travel paradox for too long (so I won't :P) but I like how you wrapped that up so Hermione doesn't have to keep worrying about it.

Remus and Hermione's chat is so so so adorable. I do love the young, carefree Remus you have in the chapter. Then again, it makes me sad to compare him to the extremely broken and weary man that we see in OotP and HBP. :'( I did get the feeling in OotP that Sirius perhaps knew Amelia kind of well which would have happened if she and Remus dated. Amelia's reaction to Hermione's friendly gossip is sweet. I'm really excited to have them explore some sort of relationship together.

Man, Rita is quite the nosey person. Her passion for news and gossip is quite evident even as a teenager. I wonder if she'll keep prying after this (probably) and if that'll get Hermione into any sticky situations.

DADA had me laughing with Hermione trying not to be bored and not master the spell too fast. At least she was able to impress Snape in the lesson. I wonder how long it'll take them to have meaningful contact. I really admire how different you're able make your characterizations of Hermione and her relationships with various students. I can't keep diverse characterization of the same person in my head (or writing).

Great chapter!!


Author's Response: Hey Rose! I've finally answered all your reviews from this story! *throws confetti* I'm sorry I've taken forever with them.

We'll probably be seeing that book again at some point (or points), but at least it will ease her mind for now - kind of. Yeah, it makes my head hurt if I try to think about it too long, so I know what you mean there.

It makes me so sad that they're so easily becoming friends, but honestly, I can't see them not getting along. I just really love exploring the idea of the young Remus, who is still fun, hopefully and full of life. I'm really glad that you like him here. :) I thought so, too - about Sirius. I can't wait to write more Amelia and Reums! :D

Rita is awful. Just horrible. But I love writing her. She's going to be a complete thorn in Hermione's side.

That DADA class took FOREVER for me to write. It's the reason this chapter took so long. You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that you liked it! As for their meaningful contact... Well, you might not be waiting too much longer at all. *I'm just going to set that down right there and walk away slowly*

Gah! Thank you! I'm trying to keep her more in character in this fic, as opposed to the other one. Which is probably why I haven't touched the other on in nearly eight months. But thank you so much!! ♥

I'm so sorry for the amount of time I've taken to respond! I hope I've answered all of your questions (that I could answer at this point). I'm so super thrilled that you're enjoying this and I hope that you continue to for the rest of the story! ♥ ♥


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Review #21, by toomanycurlsTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : No more fooling around.

27th March 2015:

I felt like quite a bit happened in this chapter. Seeing Hermione and Sirius flirt was very sweet and not at all out of character. I mean, it's natural for their physical relationship (and flirtation) to progress. I imagine Hermione thinks it is unlike her because this is her first relationship that has lasted this long.

It does seem that the last month has allowed Hermione to not face the stress of her assignment or grieve from the battle. Everyone's panic about her passing out really shows their attachment to her. Sirius' concern is especially sweet. It's also nice that they didn't dig deep on the reason for Hermione's stress-isode. I wish we could see a bit more about what made Hermione stand out from the other women Sirius dated before.

The meeting with Dumbledore was so dramatic (emotionally). It's very sad that Hermione will have to chose between her two futures. Fetching the diadem was quite eventful though Snape's attack was out of hte blue. I'll be interested to see if this has impacts down the road. Anyway, Dumbledore's plan to tackle the horcruxes sounds rather solid. I am curious though if the one in the cave is there yet. I mean, I got the feeling that he was placing it when he and Kreacher went to go to the cave together.

I think Hermione's plan to befriend Peter will help out. I'm not surprised that it didn't take much to make Peter feel more included and valued. Christmas should be exciting!! I'm excited for it.


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Review #22, by toomanycurlsBunny Slippers: Kingsley

26th March 2015:
I've been watching some emotional cop-type shows with scenes similar to this and this chapter hit me hard (like the last one). I can't believe you keep doing this to me. You're showing such amazing breadth with this story - between the loving family, horrific torture and death scene, followed by the mystery and dread of Kingsley finding the Longbottoms.

The tone in this chapter was amazing with Kingsley going on a standard assigment. His recollections of the Longbottoms show a very thoughtful young auror. It seems like he quite admired them and his reaction to their injury and son's death follows that respect. Alice's dementia is another extremely well written part of this chapter.

Augusta showing up was devastating (for me and her). I feel as if there was no good way for her to find out and having Neville to hold onto had to be something of a comfort.

I felt horrible about Kingsley breaking up with Kiara. It seems understandable (especially at first because I was thinking it didn't sit right for Kingsley to eventually be married) but kind of sudden. He's definitely reacting violently to what he saw that day and it makes sense to have that reverberate into his relationship.

You've put forth another amazing chapter!


Author's Response: Hi Rose!

I'm sorry for making you emotional, but I am happy to hear that the story is causing you to feel something. I was a bit worried when I wrote this that it would just be too much, but so far the response has been good.

The tone of this chapter was hard for me. I re-wrote the entire thing several times because it kept coming out super rushed. I've finally kind of settled on this place where I'm happy with it. I feel like Kingsley is the type of person who would be very detail oriented, so the idea that he paid attention in training seemed natural to me.

I played a lot with how Augusta would find out. I wrote one version where Kingsley went to her house to bring her Neville and tell her what transpired, but I feel like her walking in and her reaction is a bit more personal. She is always the strong, fierce woman throughout the story, so I thought it was important to give her a flash of vulnerability.

I wanted Kingsley ending his relationship to feel sudden on purpose. I hoped that it would almost come off a bit rushed and frenetic because at that point in the story, I imagine Kingsley's mind is whirring away with all sorts of horrible thoughts.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #23, by toomanycurlsThe Crofter and the Snake: The Beginning of the Year

25th March 2015:
Hi Vicki,

I've always been interested in reading a story about school during DH. I like the POV you're doing. Tracey's perspective in this is very interesting as a Slytherin who is also not all into the pureblood mania. It makes sense that not all Slytherins are crazy purebloods. Her observations hit me so hard throughout the chapter about having so many students gone from each house. I'm also sad for the first years who had to learn about Hogwarts through this reimagined nightmare.

Tracey is able to empathize quite well with the new students, especially Howard. I imagine Hogwarts would have seemed odd for a 7th year student but it's too bad he didn't know the previous weird Hogwarts.

I appreciate Tracey's pull between being kind to Howard and not getting on the wrong side of the Slytherins. I think Tracey is a bit too hard on herself when it comes to smalltalk with a new person, especially when a slightly more realistic conversaton would be so dangerous. I'm a bit interested in their project for Herbology. I enjoy the way you describe classes, it's paced well and doesn't drag on either.

Oh poor Howe, trying to figure out interhouse weirdness. I'm glad Tracey could explain it in a way that wasn't horribly awkward. Ernie will make an annoying but likely helpful partner. Howe is a very likeable guy. I can't help but imagine that his friendship with muggles will make this year extremely difficult.

The muggle studies class sounds as horrible as I've imagined it would be. If it's disturbing for Tracey to sit through the indoctrination, I can't imagine how it is for someone like Howard.

I feel like I"m getting redundant but I love the conversation between Tracey and Howe - while Tracey is certainly not like the other purebloods but she does have a touch of judgemental thinking with Howard's desire to be a crofter. I'm happy they'll keep meeting before class.

I get Howe's desire to stay out of the Dumbledore's Army but it doesn't seem like he's completely uninolved with his request to Tracey for information about upcoming stuff she hears about.

oh no - I didn't think the essay would go well but I'm so nervous about the Carrows coming down on either of them. Pansy and Millicent are horrible (which isn't a surprise). It certainly seems like Tracey has more feelings for Howe than she is admitting. I'm so very impressed with the way Howe got out of hurting the students and getting them out of detention.

I'm really enjoying this story so far! Thank you for swapping with me.


Author's Response: Hi, Rose,

Thanks for reviewing so promptly, and I'm glad you chose this story because it is one of my more unloved stories (I say that because it has the highest fall-off in reads between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 of any of my stories, although I don't know why). But I like it.

It arose from a Missing Moments (Hogwarts in 1997-1998) class that I took on another website, during which I focused on writing about the "transfer students" in the exercises for that class, and the final exam for that class was my story "Greenhouse Seven", which contains more description of the four students' project for Herbology, if you are curious about it.

This present story, inspired by "Greenhouse Seven", was written for a love story challenge, but I rarely write love stories, and if I do, I like to present a lot of action that would show each character's moral qualities, to establish why each person is worthy of being loved (other than being drop-dead handsome or beautiful). All your observations about this plot are right on track. I also enjoy reading stories about school during DH, some of which make the place sound more terrible than I wrote it, but, Dumbledore's Army aside, there must have been a fair number of students who just tried to keep their heads down and avoid drawing attention to themselves, getting through the year in a self-preservation mode.

I hope you will enjoy the second chapter also. It is something that I have never seen written before. Let me know. I really appreciate this review. Thanks very much.


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Review #24, by toomanycurlsTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : Hogsmeade

25th March 2015:
Oh boy. This chapter was quite the will they/won't they. I liked that Sirius laid off other girls and he and Hermione were able to be friends. I do like that Hermione had plenty of time to sort out her thoughts and feelings. It would be nice to have seen an expanded view of Hermione and Sirius as friends to get a good feeling what Lily saw when she thought they were perfect together. Hermeione's comparison between Lily and Ginny was quite interesting - I'm part glad and sad that Hermione prefers Lily's company.

I wonder if Sirius' "worth the wait" comment is a bit prophetic. Just a thought.

I got a bit choked up when they toasted to Hermione. It's very sweet. Then I was kind of laughing at Hermione telling them all about her first year adventures. I mean, she doesn't strike me as the bragging type but I enjoyed the effect it had on the group.

Dude. James and the walking in. I'm glad Harry grew up with a bit more sense than his father. At first I thought they were going to have another "let's just be friends/I'll lay off" talk and I was going to shake someone. I'm glad they moved forward even though it is scary for Hermione.

I'm interested to see how you throw a wrench in this now.


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Review #25, by toomanycurlsBunny Slippers: The Longbottom Family

25th March 2015:
Hello!! Thank you so much for doing a review swap.

Two paragraphs in and the connection between Neville and Alice both wearing bunny slippers just hit me hard. Quite hard, darnit. O.O Neville has an older brother??!? I'm not surprised by this given your profession but the food descriptions in this are amazing. I mean, it's not so much that it reads as excessive but it got me wanting to have some of their food. Benjamin's show of magial ability is so touching and cute for someone his age.

nonononono - I don't think you could have shown a more picturesque view of the Longbottoms before having the Death Eaters break in. I'm almost more curious about what happens to Benjamin because I know (longterm) what happens to Alice, Frank, and Neville.

This is all so horrible and I'm getting emotional over it. I never really thought about it but they are torturing them for information that can't be given - it's like Frank said, Voldemort is dead-ish. Alice's maternal instincts are really hitting me. Oh how I wish they could all walk away unharmed. Benjamin was so brave trying to help his parents and you made his death so heartbreaking. :( :(

I'm all full of feels after this - quite amazing work!


Author's Response: Hi Rose,

Yeah the bunny slippers thing was tough. And so was killing off the older brother. He was the first OC I've ever created, so it was a bit sad to see him go.

I would hope the food descriptions would be good, since that seems to be what my life revolves around! I tried really hard to think about how it would be if I was standing in the room.

The picturesque dinner followed by horrible torture was important to me. I wanted to show just how horrible the Death Eaters are.

I'm sorry that this made you emotional. It is pretty awful to imagine being tortured for information that you don't have. Even worse when it results in the loss of a child! It was hard to kill Benjamin off since he was my first OC ever, but it had to be done.

Thank you for the review swap!


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