Reading Reviews From Member: toomanycurls
  
773 Reviews Found

Review #1, by toomanycurlsTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : No more fooling around.

27th March 2015:
Meg!!

I felt like quite a bit happened in this chapter. Seeing Hermione and Sirius flirt was very sweet and not at all out of character. I mean, it's natural for their physical relationship (and flirtation) to progress. I imagine Hermione thinks it is unlike her because this is her first relationship that has lasted this long.

It does seem that the last month has allowed Hermione to not face the stress of her assignment or grieve from the battle. Everyone's panic about her passing out really shows their attachment to her. Sirius' concern is especially sweet. It's also nice that they didn't dig deep on the reason for Hermione's stress-isode. I wish we could see a bit more about what made Hermione stand out from the other women Sirius dated before.

The meeting with Dumbledore was so dramatic (emotionally). It's very sad that Hermione will have to chose between her two futures. Fetching the diadem was quite eventful though Snape's attack was out of hte blue. I'll be interested to see if this has impacts down the road. Anyway, Dumbledore's plan to tackle the horcruxes sounds rather solid. I am curious though if the one in the cave is there yet. I mean, I got the feeling that he was placing it when he and Kreacher went to go to the cave together.

I think Hermione's plan to befriend Peter will help out. I'm not surprised that it didn't take much to make Peter feel more included and valued. Christmas should be exciting!! I'm excited for it.

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #2, by toomanycurlsBunny Slippers: Kingsley

26th March 2015:
I've been watching some emotional cop-type shows with scenes similar to this and this chapter hit me hard (like the last one). I can't believe you keep doing this to me. You're showing such amazing breadth with this story - between the loving family, horrific torture and death scene, followed by the mystery and dread of Kingsley finding the Longbottoms.

The tone in this chapter was amazing with Kingsley going on a standard assigment. His recollections of the Longbottoms show a very thoughtful young auror. It seems like he quite admired them and his reaction to their injury and son's death follows that respect. Alice's dementia is another extremely well written part of this chapter.

Augusta showing up was devastating (for me and her). I feel as if there was no good way for her to find out and having Neville to hold onto had to be something of a comfort.

I felt horrible about Kingsley breaking up with Kiara. It seems understandable (especially at first because I was thinking it didn't sit right for Kingsley to eventually be married) but kind of sudden. He's definitely reacting violently to what he saw that day and it makes sense to have that reverberate into his relationship.

You've put forth another amazing chapter!

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #3, by toomanycurlsThe Crofter and the Snake: The Beginning of the Year

25th March 2015:
Hi Vicki,

I've always been interested in reading a story about school during DH. I like the POV you're doing. Tracey's perspective in this is very interesting as a Slytherin who is also not all into the pureblood mania. It makes sense that not all Slytherins are crazy purebloods. Her observations hit me so hard throughout the chapter about having so many students gone from each house. I'm also sad for the first years who had to learn about Hogwarts through this reimagined nightmare.

Tracey is able to empathize quite well with the new students, especially Howard. I imagine Hogwarts would have seemed odd for a 7th year student but it's too bad he didn't know the previous weird Hogwarts.

I appreciate Tracey's pull between being kind to Howard and not getting on the wrong side of the Slytherins. I think Tracey is a bit too hard on herself when it comes to smalltalk with a new person, especially when a slightly more realistic conversaton would be so dangerous. I'm a bit interested in their project for Herbology. I enjoy the way you describe classes, it's paced well and doesn't drag on either.

Oh poor Howe, trying to figure out interhouse weirdness. I'm glad Tracey could explain it in a way that wasn't horribly awkward. Ernie will make an annoying but likely helpful partner. Howe is a very likeable guy. I can't help but imagine that his friendship with muggles will make this year extremely difficult.

The muggle studies class sounds as horrible as I've imagined it would be. If it's disturbing for Tracey to sit through the indoctrination, I can't imagine how it is for someone like Howard.

I feel like I"m getting redundant but I love the conversation between Tracey and Howe - while Tracey is certainly not like the other purebloods but she does have a touch of judgemental thinking with Howard's desire to be a crofter. I'm happy they'll keep meeting before class.

I get Howe's desire to stay out of the Dumbledore's Army but it doesn't seem like he's completely uninolved with his request to Tracey for information about upcoming stuff she hears about.

oh no - I didn't think the essay would go well but I'm so nervous about the Carrows coming down on either of them. Pansy and Millicent are horrible (which isn't a surprise). It certainly seems like Tracey has more feelings for Howe than she is admitting. I'm so very impressed with the way Howe got out of hurting the students and getting them out of detention.

I'm really enjoying this story so far! Thank you for swapping with me.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi, Rose,

Thanks for reviewing so promptly, and I'm glad you chose this story because it is one of my more unloved stories (I say that because it has the highest fall-off in reads between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 of any of my stories, although I don't know why). But I like it.

It arose from a Missing Moments (Hogwarts in 1997-1998) class that I took on another website, during which I focused on writing about the "transfer students" in the exercises for that class, and the final exam for that class was my story "Greenhouse Seven", which contains more description of the four students' project for Herbology, if you are curious about it.

This present story, inspired by "Greenhouse Seven", was written for a love story challenge, but I rarely write love stories, and if I do, I like to present a lot of action that would show each character's moral qualities, to establish why each person is worthy of being loved (other than being drop-dead handsome or beautiful). All your observations about this plot are right on track. I also enjoy reading stories about school during DH, some of which make the place sound more terrible than I wrote it, but, Dumbledore's Army aside, there must have been a fair number of students who just tried to keep their heads down and avoid drawing attention to themselves, getting through the year in a self-preservation mode.

I hope you will enjoy the second chapter also. It is something that I have never seen written before. Let me know. I really appreciate this review. Thanks very much.

Vicki


 Report Review

Review #4, by toomanycurlsTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : Hogsmeade

25th March 2015:
Oh boy. This chapter was quite the will they/won't they. I liked that Sirius laid off other girls and he and Hermione were able to be friends. I do like that Hermione had plenty of time to sort out her thoughts and feelings. It would be nice to have seen an expanded view of Hermione and Sirius as friends to get a good feeling what Lily saw when she thought they were perfect together. Hermeione's comparison between Lily and Ginny was quite interesting - I'm part glad and sad that Hermione prefers Lily's company.

I wonder if Sirius' "worth the wait" comment is a bit prophetic. Just a thought.

I got a bit choked up when they toasted to Hermione. It's very sweet. Then I was kind of laughing at Hermione telling them all about her first year adventures. I mean, she doesn't strike me as the bragging type but I enjoyed the effect it had on the group.

Dude. James and the walking in. I'm glad Harry grew up with a bit more sense than his father. At first I thought they were going to have another "let's just be friends/I'll lay off" talk and I was going to shake someone. I'm glad they moved forward even though it is scary for Hermione.

I'm interested to see how you throw a wrench in this now.

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #5, by toomanycurlsBunny Slippers: The Longbottom Family

25th March 2015:
Hello!! Thank you so much for doing a review swap.

Two paragraphs in and the connection between Neville and Alice both wearing bunny slippers just hit me hard. Quite hard, darnit. O.O Neville has an older brother??!? I'm not surprised by this given your profession but the food descriptions in this are amazing. I mean, it's not so much that it reads as excessive but it got me wanting to have some of their food. Benjamin's show of magial ability is so touching and cute for someone his age.

nonononono - I don't think you could have shown a more picturesque view of the Longbottoms before having the Death Eaters break in. I'm almost more curious about what happens to Benjamin because I know (longterm) what happens to Alice, Frank, and Neville.

This is all so horrible and I'm getting emotional over it. I never really thought about it but they are torturing them for information that can't be given - it's like Frank said, Voldemort is dead-ish. Alice's maternal instincts are really hitting me. Oh how I wish they could all walk away unharmed. Benjamin was so brave trying to help his parents and you made his death so heartbreaking. :( :(

I'm all full of feels after this - quite amazing work!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi Rose,

Yeah the bunny slippers thing was tough. And so was killing off the older brother. He was the first OC I've ever created, so it was a bit sad to see him go.

I would hope the food descriptions would be good, since that seems to be what my life revolves around! I tried really hard to think about how it would be if I was standing in the room.

The picturesque dinner followed by horrible torture was important to me. I wanted to show just how horrible the Death Eaters are.

I'm sorry that this made you emotional. It is pretty awful to imagine being tortured for information that you don't have. Even worse when it results in the loss of a child! It was hard to kill Benjamin off since he was my first OC ever, but it had to be done.

Thank you for the review swap!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #6, by toomanycurlsDark Winds: Prologue: Dementors

21st March 2015:
I'm very excited about this story!! An AU with Sirius being innocent kind of hits my feels right off.

Reading a chapter focused on Fudge was very interesting. I feel like we learned so much about him and how it was to be Minister. Sirius being let go was quite the chain reaction with the dementors rioting and the general uproar. The road to minister of magic had to be difficult coming from a half blood family. Fudge's perception that Dumbledore was waiting in the wings is definitely true to how paranoid Fudge is about Dumbeldore later on in the series. It kind of makes me laugh at how Fudge interprets Dumbledore - not just the paranoia but his misunderstanding of the help.

I'm a bit mad at Fudge for trying to get Dumbledore to not hire (or fire) Remus. And I'm not surprised Umbridge was part of his effort to do that. It's even more frustrating for Fudge to call Dumbledore a muggle lover - I mean, he's half blood so it's not like he can really look down on muggles.

I particularly enjoyed your conversation between the two ministers. You captured something about the conversation we saw in HBP - perhaps the briskness and non-understanding of the two politicians of the other's world. I'm kind of leery of how much Fudge dwell's on Lucius' opinion. well... that conversation ended a bit more sour than I expected. And I'm back to uneasy with Fudge and Lucius trotting off for a midday meeting.

Great start! This story sounds great.

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #7, by toomanycurlsTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : These Foolish Games

21st March 2015:
Meg!!

I'm a bit surprised Hermione and Sirius are both so heart broken the next day. They're acting like they made out and regretted it or something. I do think Hermione deserved to give him distance afterwards, he was being forward and very pushy. I am glad she opened up a bit to Lily about her apprehension to date Sirius.

Lily saying yes to James was adorable. I wonder if Hermione and Sirius' relationship-thing put a mirror in front of her regarding her attitude towards James. Sirius' reaction made me laugh the most. Oh dear, Hermione was hit hard by the feels there. :(

Remus giving relationship advice... I'm judging him based mainly on my own headcanon for him but still. He's always so wise with his words but horrible iwth execution of his own advice.

I'm mostly not surprised Sirius tried to make Hermione jealous. The dramatic teenager in me would have loved to see that relationship go on a bit for some good and painful angst. I'm a bit hopeful about this promise for them to just be friends.

It'll be interesting to see how Hermione's information sharing unfolds in the future. I wonder if he'll act on the information or decide it is too risky. I do love Dumbledore's advice - very like him to encourage relationships and romance. :D

Thanks for swapping!

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #8, by toomanycurlsgoodbye good friend: What We Talk About When We Talk about Death

16th March 2015:
Joey!

Wow, what a heavy piece. I'm struggling to think of the right things to say but I'll give this my best try. Death is such a difficult topic at any age but especially so for young adults when they're at the point of just coming into life and have so much of it to look forward to. The shock felt by the characters came through very well. I really get not wanting to identify their friend as the dead person and using the term body instead. I feel that's quite common with death and not wanting to view the essense of a person as gone because their body has stopped moving.

James confesion about struggling with depression and contemplating suicide is gut wrenching. I have to admire the bravery at admitting that but I was also sad that his closest friends did not know already. I like that you didn't give this a definitive "here's what happened to Willow and here's what they did afterwards" feel. It's brief and harsh, much like death.

Thank you so much for doing a swap with me. *hug*

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #9, by toomanycurlsThe Awful Sound of Nothing: The Awful Sound of Nothing

15th March 2015:
Hello!

I'm here for the BvB and am so glad you wrote this story. I feel a bit bad for Rodolphus and the way his love life has turned out. That's not something I ever thought I would say or think so kudos to you for making it happen. I kind of felt like he didn't have a chance once Bellatrix met Voldemort and they way you wrote her attraction to Voldemort yet marriage to Rodolphus was very similiar to how I've imagined it (though I've only vaguely put some thoughts together).

I wasn't sure (because my details on which death eaters went to jail when are fuzzy) if this was after the battle in the department of mystery or the end of the wizarding war. I love how Rodolphus was confounded that a simple housewife could defeat Bellatrix. I mean, he definitely saw aurors as equals but Molly Weasley was a surprise.

Excellent piece!!

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #10, by toomanycurlsPitch Black Night: Chapter 1

15th March 2015:
Phew. Sorry about that wait. I had half the review written when my browser on my phone refreshed and I lost everything.

You've touched on three things I love in FF: wolfstar (one of my favorite ships), Remus and Sirius (two of my favorite characters), and the second person POV. Reading this I woudn't have guessed that this was your first time writing Remus and Sirius because they really came through well. Sirius' boldness at going out to the Shrieking Shack paired with his shyness at revealing his true feelings were perfectly paired together. Remus' language was remarkable as was his reaction to seeing Sirius put himself in danger. I love that Remus didn't jump to the "oh it's because you love me" conclusion and that Sirius had to say it explicitly. I mean, Remus is a bit slow when it comes to accepting love (in my head at least) and Sirius is a bit of an idiot when it comes to expressing his feelings. I love watching them both grapple with this new proclamation.

The descriptions in this are fantastic. I enjoyed the way you describe sneaking out of hte castle (and how you really painted a detailed picture as Sirius headed out) as well as detailing what it felt like to transform.

Thanks so much for swapping with me! I quite enjoyed this.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi Rose!

No worries on the wait! That happens to me from time to time!

So we're starting out good if you like Wolfstar, Remus & Sirius, and 2nd person POV. I honestly did struggle a bit writing this because I didn't want to stereotype either of them. You're right that usually serious is portrayed as cocky, but I don't know a single person who isn't nervous when they admit their in love for the first time.

As for Remus, we know from the books that he has some self esteem issues. Tonks is practically throwing herself at him, but he seems oblivious. I figured if it had been Sirius instead, he still would've been equally as oblivious.

The descriptions were fun to write in this. I literally closed my eyes and tried to imagine how I would see them...and then find a way to describe it!

Thank you so much for the review!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #11, by toomanycurlsThinking Out Loud: Thinking Out Loud

14th March 2015:
Hello!!!

I don't get my hands on may Hermione/George stories, even in the queue. Most of them don't show them married so that was especially exciting in this. You've really pinpointed where Hermione could have great compatability with George with a slight bend from either one of them.

Their wedding sounds ideal. I love how picturesque and magical it sounds without mimicking Bill and Fleur's wedding. I kind of have the ballroom from Beauty and the Beast in my head when they dance - all romance and perfection.

George and Hermione have perfect banter together. They feel effortless and relaxed with each other. Somehow you've given them the shyness of their wedding night/reception with the sexiness of familarity. I think they are pulling the best out of each other which is lovely. I especially liked the 'i love you and i like you' phrase as the two don't always go together.

I love the ease at which you brought the story ahead many years to the future when they are old. George's reminiscing is especially touching for me as even just three years past my wedding I get quite sentimental looking at photos of my husband and I. Hermione's assumption that George views her beauty as diminishing made me laugh. Their romance still seems fresh and alive which is so sweet after this many years of marriage.

This is so sweet and delicous - I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for swapping.

-Rose

Author's Response: Rose,

I'm glad you gave a Hermione/George story a try, especially since they really are an underrated pairing. I love them together, because I think the twins were the best match for Hermione's intelligence and wit in the books. I've always loved the thought of them all being super smart, but in different ways so that she can bring out a more serious side in the twins and the twins can help Hermione to loosen up a bit.

Anyway, thank you for reviewing! I'm glad that you understood the sweetness I was trying to bring to the story. I wanted to translate a relationship that had started out as a strong friendship into a romance. I think that's when you get the nicest moments in a fic; when you can tell two characters mesh outside of their passion.

Thank you again! :)
Amanda


 Report Review

Review #12, by toomanycurlsTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : The Inevitable Breakdown

14th March 2015:
Hi Meg!

ooh, I forgot to talk about Hermione's plan to write to Dumbledore in my last review. I love that she's doing that but I'm not sure Dumbledore will let Hermione share information about the future. I kind of laughed at Hermione for thinking she was pressing Sirius too much for information when he had been so forward and intrusive (perhaps not about private information but definitely pushed her boundaries). No, wait, I wanted to hear what was wrong. well... okay. maybe it'll come out later. I feel as if his episode of him asking Hermione out is the most genuine feeling interaction between them you'e had (where Sirius doesn't just seem like some sort of over-hyped boy). that is, until she said yes. I'm kind of chagrined that he changed the terms and she's going with it. I mean, I ship them, but he's being a turd. Well, at least it kind of wears on Hermione too. I feel validated.

Aw. :( :( :( :( Hermione's "i don't belong here" just got me so sad. I mean, Lily did raise some good points with Hermione's stated feelings versus behavior and I was a bit surprised that she didn't mention Ron (I suppose things are complicated between them at the point she left). Oh dear. I just want to hug Hermione. I can't blame her for being overwhelmed by this and the future and the weight of it all. I guess if anything good comes from her outburst it is that Sirius said he'll calm down a bit.

but then, he's still a bit pushy trying to get Hermione to say how she feels about him. He's qutie insecure. Hermione blowing up at Sirius felt kind of cathartic for me. This does have to be difficult for sirius as he's getting completely mixed signals from Hermione. Ooh, Lily as matchmaker should be fun!

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #13, by toomanycurlsTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : Unrelenting

14th March 2015:
Hi Meg!

o.O how can you start me off with such feels? I'm part amused and part stung that Hermione saw Lily's eyes and thought of Harry, especially so early in the morning. I got a laugh at Hermione's explanation of her friendship with Harry - way to sink Harmione :P (I don't ship them bu i don't not ship them)

Throughout the chapter I'm quite amazed at how strong Sirius comes on. I'd be quite cross with him with that behavior but I really don't like unwanted attention. It makes me go a bit hy-cha at people. I almost groaned at the idea of James and Sirius pairing up to win over Lily and Hermione. Remus and Hermione's observation that Lily loves James is a bit of a surprise. I mean, she's not letting on much. I do like that Remus is tryiing to soften Hermione up for Sirius. Part of me sees him as a good wingman in this scene and part of me thinks he's being genuine. Sirius and James seem to have a really bad idea on how to attrack girls. I think I might be showing my age with this but they just seem a bit annoying rather than charming.

Wow. Snape. I don't know if I have words for that. I loved how the Marauders stood united against Snape - it was such an awesome show of solidarity. I'm not surprised Slughorn didn't immediately try to punish Snape.

I kind of have to give Hermione the side eye at her assertion of not leading Sirius on - she's not been completely stone cold towards him (though, I do give people lessons on this). She did let him walk her to lunch (arm in arm) and was rather flirty wtih him at times. Oh well, she's struggling with her own feelings.

Hermione and lily's relationship is quite sweet. I laughed at Hermione calling her Lily Potter and Lily taking it as a bit of teasing. I'm so excited and moving onto the next chapter!!

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #14, by toomanycurlsDobby: The Paid Elf: Dobby: The Paid Elf

11th March 2015:
Hi Meg!!

You've written about two of my favorite characters and I'm completely blown away by how well each of them came across. I love Dobby's innerdialouge. I feel like it's spot on for how he speaks without sounding childlike.

I feel so bad for Dobby and the rough time he's having with being free. I imagine he was close to desperate with all the rejections he had from various wizaring families. The way you set this up, it certainly seems as if meeting Dumbledore at this time was the best thing for Dobby or he would have really hit rock bottom.

Dumbledore is just fantastic as he's so kind to Dobby. I love that he remembered who Dobby was (as it would be easy to forget a house elf met a few years back) and had enough information for a pleasant exchange.

This kind of feels like reading a bit of JKR's hashed out subplots that she left out of the books. I love the way Dumbledore offers Dobby a job and really makes him feel needed (plus offering to pay). Their downwards haggling had me laughing too.

The hope you ended this one made my afternoon. I love how positive this is and uplifting. It's quite emotional and endearing.

Thanks for adding this to my headcanon.

-rose

 Report Review

Review #15, by toomanycurlsBruises : Bruises

11th March 2015:
Hi Meg!!

So sorry for being incredibly late on this.

I love how you write Emmeline and Sirius' relationship - they seem quite comfortable together. I like the idea of them having a little party for Halloween but it makes me terrified for what's happening. You have a great way of capturing comfortable relationships between people. I do love Sirius' impracticality when it comes to a gift for Harry. I'm kind of curious what it was that set Emmeline on edge with Peter and why his friends didn't notice. I mean, it could be that she's distant enough from Peter to observe him objectively. It's also baffling to me that Sirius felt something was off (or just acted off) after speaking with Peter. I need more than the first person POV provides!!

Whoo! I don't know why but I'm glad that you set up Emmeline not knowing who was really the secret keeper. Ugh. I can only imagine that any gathering of the Order during the first war would have been an on-going memorial for people who recenly died. STOP IT SIRIUS! YOU'RE JUST MAKING YOURSELF LOOK GUILTY. *dies*

Oh my, poor Emmeline. This has to be horrid. It feels horrid. I want to hug her and fast foward a decade to Sirius being innocent and back with hte Order. :( :( :( Everything with the ending is just terribly sad - how can you go from the lighthearted beginning to this?!?!

Amazing!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hey Rose!! No worries! ♥ :) Thanks for doing the swap with me!!

I didn't want to make them overly lovey-dovey with one another, or have the pairing be the main focus of the story. I just wanted it to seem like a normal and comfortable relationship, so I'm really relieved to hear you say that. :)

Yeah, I did kind of choose the date purposefully. We all know what that date signifies, so I figured it would give a bit of tension to the story. I'm really hoping that came through. This was my first time really trying to write something dark.

Hahaha yeah, I couldn't not throw a little bit of humor into it, with Sirius going completely overboard on Harry like that. And in the back of his mind, know that he's also doing something for James and Lily.

As far as what put her on edge. It was mostly just his appearance and his mannerisms. That and just one of those gut feelings you get every so often that you can't really explain. You know when something just seems off, and you have no idea why? Or maybe that's just my anxiety disorder talking... Who knows haha.

I tried another thing which I never have before in this; tried to leave a few things to the reader's interpretation. Like what set Sirius off after speaking with Peter and what he whispered to James. I know what happened and what he said, but I don't think I'll ever tell. I want to leave it up to you all to decide.

I wanted to really try to keep this as canon as I could, and we know that no one except James, Lily, Sirius and Peter knew that they switched secret keepers, so Emmeline couldn't know. Oh I know what you mean! With people dying left and right, it really would be like an on-going memorial service.

Hahaha! But if he didn't make himself looks so guilty, we wouldn't have Prisoner of Azkaban!! ;)

I was almost crying writing the end of this. Just feeling how utterly alone an empty she felt, it killed me. So I totally know what you mean about wanting to hug her. I did too!

Well *grins wickedly* you just /might/ see her a decade later finding out he's innocent. *skips away whistling*

Oh I don't know... It's just a gift I suppose. :p

Aww Rose, thank you so much!! ♥ I'm super duper thrilled that you enjoyed this!! Thank you so much for the awesome review and the kind words!!! *hug*

xoxo Meg


 Report Review

Review #16, by toomanycurlsWake up, Rose.: The Nightmare Before Christmas

6th March 2015:
Albus and Scorpius' argument at the beginning is weird/interesting. I'm not sure what to make of Scorpius' comment about Rose liking him enough at teh party and knowing there was a love potion involved. I kind of wonder when he figured out the love potion thing (or was it Albus telling Scorp it was a love potion). I really can't blame Rose for checking out of the day and seeking refuge in her dorm.

Roxanne! I love how you're including more cousins in the story and giving them each unique relationship to each other. Her gossip sharing is quite revealing - it's nice that she's sharing the information from a place of concern rather than being malicious. And, yeah, what she shared was somehow not a surprise to me, but quite cruel for people to be saying those things. I kind of laughed that the rumor Scorpius and Rose were dating for a few years was worse than the pregnancy rumor.

Rose's confrontation with Scorpius made me cheer a bit but I *still* feel like he needs to have a moment to say what he needs to say. Though, he kind of bungled it by starting off with 'you're not very nice' he would have gotten further without that added commentary.

One thing I like about this story is the mix of quite serious school drama and the lighthearted friendship moments between Rose and her friends. I loved their 'are we school friends' moment. I'v e never thought of that for friends but I can see how that happens. Also, I need something to happen with Hugo and the bullies. Not necessarily Rose being violent with them, but school suspension would be nice.

Dom's confrontation with Rose was weird. I mean, it's been months since the party and she's just now worried about being told on? I really don't think she and Al are sorry though.

Great chapter! I'm excited for the next one.

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #17, by toomanycurlsThe Fred Weasley Memorial Scholarship: i. the plan [or] five nerds face a life of hedonism

2nd March 2015:
I'm *finally* giving this a proper read. I'm on my phone so I probably won't stop every chapter. I've never heard of a legit internship where someone has to pay. Training, sure, but people do work in an internship and are usually paid (or they're not but they typically don't pay for the pleasure of going grunt work). Love the intro and how you're writing everyone

 Report Review

Review #18, by toomanycurls12 Hours: 12 Hours [or] There Are People Who Would Cause You Harm And Those Who Seek Your Undoing, But Before You Condemn Those Pitiful Souls, Be Sure Of What They're Pursuing

25th February 2015:
Joey!

I'm pretty intrigued that this story started off as a joke -that makes me quite excited to see how it goes. You should know that I got quite the laugh at albus ship-naming Scoprius and Lysander. I know we do it on the forums but it's funnier to see characters do it.

Having the second and third scene kind of book-end each other is pretty neat. Though, the 11 PM part sounds as if they've left one party and plan to have a night full of more adventures. Oh to be young like that. I'm quite interested in the Helmholtz Literary Association and what they'll do there. I liked what you said about copies (or reads) not having anything to do with quality.

What what wha- he's sending for Aurors? That Helmholtz Literary Association must have been quite wild... And I'm a bit curious about the quotes around literary associates.

Well, at least Lysander has the heebee geebees. I really like continuity between this and your other Scorpius/Lysander story. :D

Is it a maze, or a trap?!?! Curious minds need to know. They're clearly in a fight mode here but I'm anxious to see what brought it on. I really love the way you do action here - it's not overcomplicated but a lot still happens.

Ooh, so Al goes missing. Hrm.

And they found him by 8. I'm going to reorder this and read it :P I love the discombobulated style as it adds to the mystery of the story. I laughed so hard at "What is the functional purpose of that?" - Albus could be in software development.

Part of me wants to visit this madhouse. I'd probably die in there and never get out but it sounds so interesting (I also enjoyed the Winchester Mystery House so I might just like these weird things).

omgomgomg - I did *not* expect it to be her holding them hostage. I applaud the well-timed punch.

This was great - it's such a break from your usual style and I love it. Hats off to you for always stretching yourself and doing awesome things when you do.

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #19, by toomanycurlsUgly Eloise: Chapter 1

20th February 2015:
Hi Kaitlin,

I love the ugly swan story you have here. At first Eloise reminded me a bit of Moaning Myrtle as she felt outcast, ridiculed by Slytherin, and quite lonely. At first I thought Justin was just being kind to her but I'm glad this was a surprise with him truly interested in her.

Pansy was quite horrible to Eloise, I'd love to know why she set her sights on a quiet Hufflepuff. It was very surprising that Draco and Millicent were caught snogging - I've never seen them paired together.

Justin and Eloise's scene in their common room was adorable. I like that she has some point of pride in her life. I was happy that Eloise started to see the best in herself towards the end but it would be nice to see that come from herself instead of Justin's approval. I'd be interested to read more about her and how the new found confidence changes her relationships.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi Rose,

Thank you for your review! This was really a challenge for me because fluff is absolutely not my normal genre. I liked the idea of ugly swans as well and Eloise is set up nicely for a transformation of sorts. I agree that ideally her transformation would come from within, but I've found in life that often times people can't see the best in themselves.

Pansy was horrible to Eloise. As for why she did it, I think it was just simply because Eloise was the first person Pansy spotted who she knew wouldn't fight back.

Draco and Millicent was an interesting one. To me, it would seem that Millicent is just a passing fling, but who knows. Maybe I'll have to explore that one in a story. :)

Thank you so much for taking the time to review this! I appreciate the feedback. And good luck on the Valentine's Challenge!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #20, by toomanycurlsI Will Make You...: Moonlight

17th February 2015:
Hello!!

I'm here for the BvB. I really enjoyed the view into Ron and Hermione's relationship you've taken here. I mean, I always thought Ron was a bit of a pig in HBP iwth the way he went after Lavender and ignored/hurt Hermione. It's so touching to think of he intentionally set aside his own emotions for Hermione so they could better help Harry. I know Hermione is the one who obliviated him but Ron seemed to agree it was the right thing to do. Also, you've made Hermione such a selfless person in this as well. They're nearly a year out from their adventures with Harry in DH but Hermione is looking ahead and sees this collision point between love for Ron and duty to Harry.

Ah, I love this alternative take on their start then stop with feelings. It's so sad that they put their own feelings on hold for the greater good but it shows they put just as much on hold as Harry did with regards to personal relationships.

Very interesting story!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hello Rose,
thank you for reviewing! Well, I think both Ron and Hermione understood that if they didn't help Harry, they never really stood a chance and there would be no "them" ever :) Glad you enjoyed the story!
Monika


 Report Review

Review #21, by toomanycurls(500) Days of August: Many Things

13th February 2015:
Joey!!

I'm so glad you posted a swap for this. I agree
with you that (500) Days of Summer had a very
creepy feel with they way Summer was treated by
Tom - the whole entitled relationship/romance
thing really got to me. While you did take out
the misogynistic bits with Fred, you got
through the whole 'entitled to this
relationship' part down really well.

Part of me doesn't feel bad for Fred when
August leaves him. I mean, at no point did they
have that kind of relationship. If I have any
fault for August, it's that he let their
relationship carry on when it was clear that
Fred's feelings went deeper. I mean, I just get
so frustrated with these relationships where
they go into them knowing that they don't want
the same thing but go on and then feelings get
more hurt than they needed to. GAH, THIS IS WHY
WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

One of the sadder parts (that doesn't just make
me angry) is when August does find love. I
mean, Fred thought August was the one but that
August just didn't believe in that idea.
Nothing is harder than learning that it just
wasn't the right relationship for love. I feel
like you ended this on a nicer note than the
movie ended. There's more of an amicable ending
than the bitter one from the film.

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #22, by toomanycurlsActions Speak Louder than Words: Blown Away: Scorpius POV

9th February 2015:
Beth -

this chapter = amazeballs. I was leaning over, on the edge of my seat, trying to jump into the words. how do you do it!??!

Right-O: I could tell last chapter that Scorpius was quite tender and caring towards Rose. Now I know for sure that there's so much there between them (that at least one of them feels). When he had his flashback I never expected it to go like it did. I was thinking there would be a break up and we'd learn why he had her shirt but no - it was so much more than that.

I love the idea of Scorpius escaping to the Potter's for a bit of normality. Draco seems quite upset by that but I didn't catch if Harry was as well. I really like how you've written about Draco - it's quite believable. I'm glad that Scorpius is (rather was *glare*) closer to Astoria. I'm so sad that Scorpius left his father with such an ugly argument between them. Not that it happened but that it was their last interaction.

The idea that Scorpius is befriending the annoying Mason just to spite his father cracked me up. I am surprised that Scorpius didn't do more slip ups playing soccer with Mason. I suppose Mason being dull helped a bit with any that happeend.

Never in a hundred years did I expect Scorpius to walk ino that. Him not being able to refer to Astoria's body as being her really struck me. It's a very powerful feeling to see one's parent dead and not wanting to associate that form with their living self.

I've always thought you were more of a nice, kind author because I've been so involved with Hurricane Luna and your one-shots but this chapter alerted me to the fact that you're just as mean as the rest of us on here. :P I'm so scared you're going to rip my heart out in this story. o.O

-rose (bvb)

Author's Response: Rose!

This review is amazeballs! Scorpius had a pretty sad back story here - and now we can see why he's been so troubled. It's not just that he harbors feelings for Rose, he needs her just as much as she needs him.

He's carried the guilt from how he stormed out of his parents' house forever.

Haha - I guess I'm not so nice? That comment made me laugh out loud. I just *might* have some more mean things planned for this story...

Thanks so much for this super, fantastic, awesome review!

♥ Beth


 Report Review

Review #23, by toomanycurlsLove. Lies. Monopoly.: The Party Upstairs

9th February 2015:
Em!!!

It was kind of funny that when I clicked on your story my first thought was "that looks like a banner that Joey has" and then I read on to see it's a parody of his story.

This was quite hilarious for me to read. My husband and I get pretty competitive with board games and if we had enough space would have a board game room. There were so many points that made me giggle that I would have to copy/paste hte whole chapter to point them all out. 19 minutes of silent staring was hilarious. Part of me thinks it was funny because of how you wrote it but the other reason is that I do that with my husband also. O.o were you really writing my typical Saturday night?

The touch of destiny with Lysander and the fedora really got the superstitious gamer attitude down. I've had games go like monopoly game - minus the magical components like a magical goblin baker.

I love this! You should spoof more stories. :D

-Rose

 Report Review

Review #24, by toomanycurlsActions Speak Louder than Words: Bent: Rose POV

7th February 2015:
Hi Beth!!

I always have plenty of chapters of this to R&R so I'm good for a long time.

After the first chapter, I'm not surprised that Rose is uneasy about being at a party. We haven't seen much of Albus and Selenia but their fondness for each other is cute (which really isn't connected to the rest of this paragraph). I think I said this previously, but Rose's coping techniques are really well done. Distraction and refocusing is something I can relate to.

Scorpius and Rose are interesting together. I get the feeling that neither really care to be at the party. He almost makes James seem a bit, uh, unethical with how he recruits for his party. Calling the girls a supply for the quidditch players was kind of sketch but I'm torn as to if that is James' perspective or Scorpius'.

Rose's observation of Dom paints an interesting picture. I love that Dom is outgoing and flirtatious and not just looking to settle down with the first cute guy she meets. It's also funny that Rose makes fun of her to Scorpius. Then they turn to Fred - it does seem like he's gotten around (a lot). Them making fun of Dom and Wolfie had me giggling too. I can have a kind of mean sense of humor (well, I have the sense of humor they were using) so I got a good laugh from them.

I don't know who the guy is harrassing Rose but he's getting the evil eye from me. With Rose's anxiety being out around people and this guy being all hands. This is all so dramatic and unexpected! I love that Dom was so aggressive with the intruder guy.

I get the feeling that Scorpius rather likes Rose based on the way he treats her after the attack. They're quite sweet together. I kind of groaned when everyone barged in. They have such tenderness and shyness between them. This chapter really reminded me why I should read this more!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hey there Rose!

Eeep! I'm so glad you came back to this story. It is the one that I've worked the hardest on.

James is a *tiny* bit of a misogynist, but his heart is in the right place when it comes to his family. In fact, ALL the Weasleys and Potters aren't about to put up with this dude at the party. But, you've got James's number. He's a playa.

Haha - it's my own weird sense of humor too!

Yes - Scorpius *does* rather like Rose. Oof - I just realized how creepy that sounded. It isn't creepy at all. They are both really into each other, but they just haven't been able to get out of their own way to see it yet. Yeah. It wouldn't be a Weasley gathering if there wasn't some barging in - haha!

OMG! I would love to know what you think about this story! It's my baby.

Thanks for the review swap!

♥ Beth


 Report Review

Review #25, by toomanycurlsThe New Creative Arts Department: that time when i started a newspaper

6th February 2015:
Joey!!

(and Lisa because you're reading this also)

There couldn't be a pair of people on this site that I'm more excited to see do a collab together. So, thank you.

It's cool that the school is adding a creative arts department but what I like more is that it gives Rose a clear path to her desired career. I feel that nepotism and chance will still have a hand in her odds of getting a job but she will at least have definable skill and experience.

Making Teddy a teacher gives me such feels (because Remus was a teacher and now Teddy is a teacher and obvs he'll be wonderful at it). Teddy's little intro idea was cute and I'm kind of really glad you skipped over people and didn't do a line for each of them. Teddy's line about hoping to remember some of them was hysterical and kind of cynical for a new prof. but I loved it.

I like that Rose and Scorpius start off with a neutral relationship. So many ScoRos stories start them off as polar opposites or some sort of enemies. I'm also excited that Scorpius is trans just because I haven't read many stories that include a trans character.

The discussion about how undefined their class was cracked me up. I'm glad Rose was able to give the perspective of it being a last minute assignment, rather than letting Teddy seem a bit flaky for not planning. The way the class challenged him on his qualifications was great too - they're definitely a bold group.

Idle chatter with classmates is always kind of awkward for me and I'm glad you captured some of that here. At least Landon and Percival seemed to have a clunky conversation (not the way it's written, well, gah - because they're awkward). Anyway, I loved that. It's fascinating to think of a class being full at Hogwarts - especially one of the academic ones. Tatum and Simone's conversation was something that made me pause. Tatum's comment about them being in the arts department so it being okay to be out pulled me in two or more direction. The first was that it doesnt' matter where they are, Simone shouldn't be outed if she's not ready. Then I was torn about whether Tatum meant that people in the arts tended to be accepting and positive for queer folks or that everyone would be queer themselves. While it could be a "you're in a safe place" message, it felt more like a taunt to me.

Rose's inspiration for a school newspaper is great. I love that boring quidditch gossip spurred her to want to be a source for that kind of news. I think the idea will at least make the creative arts department seem more useful as there is a measurable output they're creating.

Great chapter. I can't wait to read the next one!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi Rose!

I'm so glad that you're excited to see Lisa and I do a collab together, we're pretty excited too :D

It was definitely cool to have that 'aha' moment of like, of course Rose is there because it'll help her write for the Prophet. That was pretty much the initial thing that shaped her character, in fact. (Lisa's idea, if I recall correctly)

Teacher!Teddy gives me life. That's it, that's what keeps me alive.

I didn't want to introduce everyone that way because it quickly would have gotten boring :P Teddy is super honest about possibly not keeping track of things in this chapter and that's kind of for comedic effect and kind of totally how someone like him would react to all of a sudden being Responsible For Things.

Rose and Scorpius are definitely not enemies here, but probably wouldn't call each other friends either. I agree that it's interesting to see them start from neutral. (I think you have a blog post about this somewhere)

I've read very few stories with trans characters and even less featuring them as main characters, so Scorpius being trans really is awesome. I'm excited to write about him! (although indirectly, as he's not one of my POV characters)

I wanted it to be clear that it wasn't all Teddy's fault for being unprepared. But, still, I totally didn't want him to be ready for any of this.

I'm really glad you realized how kind of off base Tatum's comments where. That conversation was actually pulled pretty directly from a real life one I had. A (gay) friend of mine from a few years ago was very, very indiscreet about my orientation and when confronted about it, refused to see the big deal because he was out and saw no reason I shouldn't be.

Realizing that this is an unfortunately common mindset, I decided that Tatum would totally be someone who's kind of like that. But, yeah, it was definitely meant to be a character flaw of hers. It was certainly a condescending taunt, but also a 'you're in a safe place' message in part. (very, very deep down)

The newspaper does make the CAD seem that much more useful by Ministry standards and, of course, that was all part of Rose's plan. She's a real schemer, that one. Thank you for the awesome review!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>