This might sound a little harsh, so sorry, I swear I'm only trying to help.
Your paragraphs are spaced way to far apart, pick up the book nearest you, that is how they should be placed. Watch your spelling (I have the same problem), and gramer.
Overall, this could be a really good story, I like it so far.
0o0Athena0o0 Author's Response: Thank you for the criticism - it is noted and appreciated [ = Report Review
I love this!!!!!!! it's great!!!!!!! PLZ PLZ PLZ update soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AthenaAuthor's Response: thanks! Report Review
This is really good, PLZ update soon, I can't wait for more!!!
Author's Response: Thanks for your review! The next chapter should be coming up tomorrow or Sunday! Report Review
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