OH MY GOD YOU! This was just 2000 words that have put me on a crazy emotional roller-coaster from beginning to finish! Where do I begin? I just have no words for this wonderful, wonderful story that makes me cry inside and makes me so happy at the same time? This was so perfect in every possible way I can't even describe it all in words, because I don't have the words.
So right at the beginning you give me this unexpected lovely Harry/Ginny moment full of heartache and also hope and I'm struck straight away. It must be so difficult to be so young and already face so many challenges in your relationships already. The usual teenage drama really pales in comparison to 'my boyfriend might die any second' and then 'oh look, Hagrid's carrying my dead boyfriend' to 'well, now that things are finally okay, goodbye, boyfriend, for another 10 months'. Poor Harry and Ginny really need to catch a break. But I loved the way they handled it, in such a mature way. I believe that these ten months basically mean nothing, because what they have is already so strong for them. It was just wonderful.
Oh and the Ron and Hermione moment, let me catch a breath. I had butterflies everywhere, and I kept laughing, because they were so R/Hrish. Hermione stretching out her hand cordially, being angry with Ron for being a prat, and then Ron just blubbering away in his goofy way, and then he like sweeps her off her feet OMG DO YOU WANT TO GIVE ME A HEARTATTACK? -is attacked by another dose of Ron and Hermione feels-
And yet, those two scenes full of win and emotion and yay and joy and heartfeltness, yes I make this a word now...there was the last scene that practically almost killed me. The way you set up the scene, so simply yet so vividly and beautifully tugged at my every heart-string, with them standing together, Hermione holding both their hands. And then they start to talk and confess their friendshipy love and I'm reduced to a puddle. This friendship is what makes the series such a remarkable feat. I mean, it's full of other exquisite characters, but for me, personally, these three and what they had is simply the strongest thing. And I totally get the drama. It's common that once even great friends lose touch, they fall out of regular contact as well. So it's natural they worry about it, but of course there's just no chance of that happening, so I am comforted, and I think they're comforted deep within themselves as well. I'm not going to quote what Harry and Hermione say, but I could, because every word was absolutely moving.
And then...and then...-composes herself- they Disapparate and Ron...RON!! says all those things into the air, without them hearing, and he breaks my heart and puts it back together again. I love him for saying that, and it's so much like him to say it in secret. But I guess that's the essence of him. He doesn't need to say these things, because Harry and Hermione already know based on his actions and the person that he is. I can't imagine a more beautiful and perfect way to convey that than you did here.
I remember when I clicked your thread, I instantly knew your author page would be my new playground, because your every single summary grabbed me and I really couldn't decide. In the end, it was the Trio that convinced me and I'm just awed. With charming simplicity you conveyed so very much in few words, and that's not easy, but you've done a wonderful job. I loved reading this story. I will read your other stories, too, because this was so good I'm impressed like whoa. Thank you for writing this and sorry for this incoherent, jumbled review, but I was left in such a state I wasn't able to produce anything better.
I loved it.Author's Response: I don't even know what to say about this review. This was one of the first fanfics I ever wrote, and it has an extra special place in my heart (because I adore the trio and their friendship, and because I am a ridiculously sentimental person, and I totally let that fly in this story). It's kind of my baby, and so when people say such nice things about it, I just turn to mush and can't really respond.
Harry and Ginny have a long way to go. Their relationship is still really new, but they've been through so much and are so committed to one another.
I loved writing the Ron/Hermione section because I love Ron and Hermione. Ron is such a great guy, but he has absolutely no clue how to talk to women, and he definitely has no idea what to do with Hermione now that she is his girlfriend and not just his girl friend (if that makes sense). I'm really glad you liked it :D
As for the ending, I really just wanted to give the trio one moment where they look at one another and just admit, out loud, how much they mean to one another and how they have been changed by their friendship. It's probably pretty ooc, but I think the sentiment is always there. Theirs is a friendship that has been tested by fire and will survive all of the tests of time. It's the type of friendship we all enjoy reading about because it exists so rarely in the real world.
I'm really glad you clicked on my thread and I hope you will check out some of my other stories sometime. Thanks so much for reading and for leaving such wonderful reviews. Report Review
Oh my, Pansy has gone all Smeagol on herself.
I don't know what to say about this chapter, because I think it was very brilliant in regards to Pansy's psychology. The things she's going through, all the turmoil and her personality, fueled by the fact that she's trapped inside her own house was amazing to watch. You really bring forward some great points and creative ways to show just how much Pansy's losing it. The Amortentia bit was genius. I first thought she started making it to both occupy herself and later use it on Draco, but she basically makes it for herself, to feed her own obsession and it's twisted and so sad, but kind of in a good way where the story is concerned. I mean, I was really mesmerized by reading it, on the edges, even the narrative starts to become a little surreal at the edges. But I do hope they release them from under the house arrest soon so Pansy can start interacting with the new world and other characters.
It was also great to mention how she's annoyed by the new laws, because they break the tradition she's been taught to respect since birth. It's a very important point to make and not ignore when it comes to these through-and-through Purebloods and I'm glad you didn't pass over it. I'm really getting hooked here, your Pansy just makes me want to read more and more about her. :)Author's Response: Hello! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your review!
Haha- I hope that comment is a good thing! I'm so pleased that you liked my exploration of her psychology in this chapter. Poor Pansy is, as you said, losing it.
:D I'm so happy that you liked the Amortentia idea! Haha- I did intend for there to be a bit of confusion as to the purpose of the potion- a story isn't very much fun if everything is predictable, now is it? :D
Pansy will be released from house arrest soon, I promise (in the next chapter, I believe).
I'm so happy that you're enjoying my characterization of Pansy! I don't think I could ignore the pureblood aspect of Pansy's life, especially not since I'm building the majority of my story around this aspect of her life.
Thanks for the amazing review! Report Review
Well, I am now jumping happily because I finally was partly right in my predictions on a story. Yay. Alrek was just fishy from the beginning, it's like you can't really trust these Bulgarian dudes at all - Karkaroff etc. Oh right, Krum was alright. The first section was full of great suspense, I always like reading about these secret Hogwarts meetings, whether they're good or bad. It just shows further how deep and secret Hogwarts is, as a school. I especially liked Regulus in that part. I feel he'll have a bigger part in the story, or at least I hope so. :)
And now the Belle part...just so I get this off my chest, I understand you're trying to convey Belle's French accent with the 'z' much like Jo Rowling did, but it was kind of overwhelming. I don't think it should be at the beginning of every word that begins with 'th'. For example, words like then, this, the could be with the z, but think, thought, throwing up don't have to be, especially when you use the normal sound at the end of words like 'both'. It's not such a big problem, but it was a tad bit distracting since Belle had a long monologue going on. But I'm sure she improves her pronunciation now that she's in Scotland for a longer time. :)
Oh and poor girl, I suspected this exactly! Her voice carried the emotion really well, and I felt just like Lily and Alice, wanting to hug her and never let her go. She's obviously a very strong person for enduring that and still being able to smile. The worst part was that she really wanted to try and love the baby and raise it, against all odds, and even that was taken away from her. But everything happens for a reason, I guess, and at least she didn't end up with the horrible Christophe person and her pretentious family but travelled abroad to meet people that would change her life, so that's uplifting. :) (whenyoukindofignorethefacttheyalldieintheend)
I'm so glad these secrets are finally out, because now Belle can be happier and lighter, and accept Sirius more. :) It also strengthened the girls' friendship in a great way. Oh and Butterscotch! I demand that he appears in every chapter from now on; brought a grin to my face with the first mention of him.
This was a great chapter full of new information and character revelations (fitting title, by the way), but now you need to give me a new chapter fast and some Lily/James goodness!!
xoxo LizAuthor's Response: You were very right about Alrek!! Oh god I'm so glad you said something about the French accent. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I agree it's very over whelming..it was SO difficult to write and keep it in the 'zs' I think I'll take your suggestion and take out most of the ones zat aren't ze and zey. Hehe :P. I was listening to French English videos on that one video site while I wrote it, and I think if anything that made me increase it. Yep. I'm losing some of those Z's.
Ahh I'm so happy you liked Belle's section where the story is concerned! Hahaha I know what you mean about it temporarily being uplifting. I'm still half a second away from saying, screw canon we're going AU :P. But, that would be bad. Rawr.
Butterscotch! I love him too, haha. I'm happy you gives you some warm feels ♥
You are such an awesome reviewer, and thank you for pointing out the distarcting-ness of the z's, it was the push I needed to go and take a few of those things out.
Thanks for the awesome review and I will try and finish the next chapter VERY SOON!
Hi, here for the exchange! :) First of all, let me just say how intriguing this was to read. I expected something else entirely, but what I got in the end was great. I like that you chose Marion Cotillard for the banner, because I was kind of hearing the words in her voice, which was really really cool.
The imagery you use is very unique and different. All the images are sort of negative, scary, and they build the heavy and dramatic atmosphere. I also liked that you didn't feed the reader with information about the setting and everything right away, but rather let him figure things out on his own gradually.
The writing was very good and easy to get lost into. I feel captivated by this character and want to read what she sees when her life flashes before her. :) I'd be very glad to read the next chapter if you fancied another swap, this was really nice. I didn't really see the humor in it, but I guess that's intended for later parts.
Happy Holidays!Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked the beginning and that it surprised you. That is really cool that you were able to imagine Marion's voice with this. I've always imagined Eleanor as a mix between Marion and Ellen Paige. More Marion though obviously which is why i chose her to feature.
I'm really happy you enjoyed the beginning of this and i'd love to do a swap again. So don't be surprised when you see me popping by your thread :D . I'm not shocked that you didn't see the humour. This story was my first venture into the humour genre and i've never intended it to be the typical slapstick, crack fic that circulates on hpff as humour (not that I dislike them, they are amusing) but the humour here is more of a wry, sarcastic kind of humour that is underneath the surface. It's probably the wrong genre but it was put there for the challenge i once entered. Obviously, this first war story isn't going to be funny.
happy holidays dear! Thank you so much for your review, i really appreciated it! Report Review
Aah, this was so lovely, Megan. Of course Scorpius wants a Weasley jumper, I want a Weasley jumper! You've captured the essence of needing to belong into a family so well here. Scorpius must adore the Weasleys because they function so much differently than his own lonely household. I can understand how the Weasleys don't let anyone in between them, but once someone gets in, he'll be pampered and loved like the rest of them. Adding Fleur to the mix was a great and logical choice. You're brilliant for touching upon that subject, I've never before thought of the possibility the treatment she's been getting in the beginning could upset her. I liked that she comforted Scorpius, it was very nice of her. It's funny how such a little thing can mean so much. I remember when I first read the Philosopher's Stone and when Harry received his jumper and just how strongly it warmed him at heart. And reading this story it just makes me think he was always meant to become a part of the family because he got the jumper so soon. :)
And then the ending just made me grin like a little kid because Molly winked at Scorpius and it was just wonderful. It's also sweet how even though the jumpers aren't exceptionally pretty, everyone loves and cherishes them, whether openly and warmly. They're much like family, chaotic and problematic at times, but we want it and we need and even though it's not perfect, we just want to snuggle it like snuggling the soft, warm jumper. Aah, now I am overcome with Christmas family feels. :)
This was a wonderful story, Megs, as always.Author's Response: I got all excited when I saw you reviewed me ;) So good to see you back active on the site again! (((hugs)))
Thank you so much! I love my Weasleys, and the way I set up Rose and Scorpius as a couple in the Midnight Run series he's sort of in between fitting in and not fitting in around Rose's family. So of course he wants a jumper. And of course the person most able to understand that would be Fleur. I'm surprised more people haven't written it that way. It seems very logical to me, if Rose and Scorpius tried to get together, Fleur would be sympathetic, because nobody wanted her around either (well, maybe Ron, and obviously Bill), but she made a place for herself. I doubt she really likes Scorpius, since she did fight in the final battle and I imagine the connection between Malfoys and Death Eaters would be impossible to overcome in social settings, but I do think she'd understand.
The Weasleys are accepting eventually - longer for Scorpius than for others who joined their family, but there's a lot of history with those two families, so I think he did pretty good. I totally want a Weasley jumper. Wish I could knit! Ah Christmas. Thank you for reviewing! It means a lot to me :) Report Review
Hi, here for the holiday exchange. :)
So the beginning broke my heart because right off the bat Harry's dead and Ron, too?! I weep, because the trio's broken and it actually hurts me. Poor Hermione. I can't imagine any one of the remaining behind without the other too. The exposition of the scene was fantastic. I could almost smell the Ministry morgue and it made me feel uneasy and sad and just needing to get out of there. I also liked the touch on the subject wizards must think often about: how come we're not able to use this grand magic that defines us to save the ones we love in situations like this? It crossed Harry's mind countless times, and I can totally see how Hermione's dwelling on that, because since Ron's also dead, she must feel so unbelievably hollow I just want to whimper like a wimp.
The scene with Ginny and Albus was also very sad and I just trudged through this chapter with my heart beat and broken. When Hermione returned and did that spell, you described the magic wonderfully. It gave me shivers. I think she's smart enough not to dapple in such things, but I can imagine she was so emotionally pushed she didn't quite realize what she was doing.
You had me almost tearing up here and then Harry and the sound he makes and I just couldn't help but crack up. And then I realize how sinister it actually is and I'm wondering just how is Hermione going to deal with having to kill zombie Harry.
Just typing out the words 'zombie Harry' is entertaining. But it shouldn't be, gah! Anyway, this was a very interesting and well-written chapter. I'll definitely try to read more. :)Author's Response: Oh thank you so much for your review!
I know, it's so sad that I killed 2/3 of the trio off, I'm a terrible person :P
The limits of magic are so very interesting in this world, and it's sad that you can't reanimate the dead, but Hermione totally should have known that. Emotional fragility can definitely do a number on you.
Aww I'm so sorry I made you so sad! I feel bad :P
I love Harry's zombie sound. it's ridiculous. There are definitely small things in here that lighten the mood up again, which is a relief because it can really be difficult at times because of the sadness :(
Thanks again for reviewing I really appreciate it! Report Review
First off, let me just thank you for nearly killing me with the butterflies when I imagined Ron and Hermione getting DISTRACTED! Finally the two can spend some quality not-being-hunted-down time together. It just made me so happy, that's all.
I love how you made the conversation between them. It was so full of heart and care and also the individual determination and realization that they need to fend off for themselves for a little while now. I completely understand each and every one of them, you've also given the voice to their thoughts perfectly. Hermione wants to go back for knowledge's sake, she's a girl that won't just leave her education unfinished. But I also sense some sentimental need to hold onto their lost childhoods, being unwilling to let go of Hogwarts and all that it represents for the three of them.
Harry is right, though, that for him, after all the things he's been through, Hogwarts would only be kind of a step back. He's ready to let go and embark on other things, always having in mind to keep fighting even if the darkness has diminished after Voldemort's fall.
And oh my, poor poor Ron I just want to scoop him up into my arms and hug him. He really wants to make up for his walking out, but I'm glad you didn't make him resentful over the fact Harry and Hermione want different things. I can see how matured he is, and I love that he also understands.
I mean, it's okay, because we know they'll be okay, but as I read this, I have all these feelings of them parting being so scary. It must be, and for poor R/Hr who just can't be properly together now once again.
I really enjoy your writing and the soothing simplicity to it. You're not too wordy, so there's nothing to distract the reader, you just make every word count. Wonderful job. Also, you really know these characters well. I can't do more than agree on everything about them in this story. :)Author's Response: I apologize for taking so long to get to responding to this review. Life has gotten away from me a bit...
I really loved reading this review. Ron/Hermione is probably my OTP in the HP realm, so the idea of them /finally/ being together is wondrous to me as well. I just adore them.
Thank you for your lovely comments about the characterization. I love these characters so much, so I always worry a bit that I haven't done them justice, so hearing things like that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. :D
I am a person who fears change, so I can completely relate to the feeling of their parting being scary. Even with that deep down knowledge that everything will be fine, it's still terrifying, because what if it's not?
Thanks again for leaving such a great review! I really appreciate it :) Report Review
Aaaah! What was that? Lady Tenabra killing Flint? I should've expected that, he was just a henchmen anyway, but what's the deal with the book? I don't know what it means and it's killing me, lol! :D
I'm so happy I finally found some time to read a new chapter. You create a wonderful, well-balanced mix of action and moving scenes that paint the characters so beautifully. I loved the Weasley family dinner and even the joke George pulled on the kids. And there were so many of them, I really don't understand how even the Weasleys themselves are able to keep track. :D My heart was totally beating wildly for the awesomeness of Arthur and Molly volunteering to help again. That's what makes these people strong, their bravery is touching and admirable. It's all about the family, you threaten my family, and then I'll come back and get you no matter how old I am. Then there was another scene full of partnership dynamic between Draco and Astoria. It's also kind of realistic to think Draco probably has some issues with other parts of Astoria's family. He sounded just like a man frustrated with the in-laws, be it mother or sister.
Poor Harry, hurting on his own, refusing help because he's just like that. i was glad Rose walked after him and gave her a piece of her mind, but in a gentle and understanding way. I guess he needed just that. I'm loving the relationship between them. It reminds me of the way I adore my mum's brother, who's a very quiet and stern man, but I've always admired him because he's been more a father to me than my own when I was a kid. Also, the line assuming that it wasn't me who killed him? cracked me up. Those two. It was nice to smile a little through all the heartache I was experiencing for poor Harry.
It's so good of Harry to listen to reason and Rose and go back to the Burrow instead of weeping and drinking over Ginny's grave. I really liked how Rose talked about their connection, it was beautiful. I guess he's taking his grief too far, but I also think there's a very good reason for that. He must feel somehow that he simply cannot move on because inside he knows it's not solved yet and there's more to it. That's the deal, I guess. And also the fact that when a loved one dies, we never truly move on, never. I'm more and more curious to learn what really happened to Ginny.
Oh and then the attack on the Manor, you had me at the edge of my seat there! Every part of the chapter was extremely captivating and it's getting better and better...well, not the events, but the story overall I mean. I just love your writing so much.Author's Response: Sigh. I suppose it's high time I responded to this lovely review, isn't it? It's such sweet sadness, watching them disappear from my unanswered reviews page. But it's the right thing to do, so here we go.
Yes, Flint's shelf life turned out to be quite short. From the moment he got involved with Lady Tenabra, he underestimated her. That mistake turned out to be fatal. The book was... well, just a book. I think her actions tell you everything you need to know about it. As far as what it means, you'll find out very soon. ;)
The Weasley family dinner is something I'm rather proud of when I look back at it. I nearly decided to cut the majority of it out because I thought it made the chapter drag too much. Fortunately, I talked myself out of it. I'll tell you how I keep track of all the Weasleys: I made myself a family tree that I kept in my Google docs all throughout writing the story. Believe me, I wound up referring to it frequently!
I hope you continue to like the way I've imagined Draco and Astoria. They turned into two of my favorite characters in this story.
In my mind, Harry and Rose were always very close. She's such an endearing mix of her mother and father, it seemed only reasonable that Harry would be drawn to her. And since he's also her godfather, I think he felt a duty to play an active role in her life, the same way that Sirius did for him in the brief time they had together. For her part, Rose adores Harry, but she doesn't quite idolize him in the same what that most people do. She sees the human side of the hero.
You'll learn a lot more about what happened to Ginny over the next few chapters. It's definitely more than meets the eye.
The attack on the Manor was fun to write. I really enjoy writing fight scenes, and this one was much longer and more spread out than the attack on Magical Records. It definitely won't be the last. ;)
I'm really glad you're enjoying the story. Thanks so much for all of your lovely reviews and Happy Holidays! Report Review
Firstly, some typos I noticed:
the manor's heavy door closely softly in their wake - closed?
There were multiple steps and detailed - details?
And yay, now about the chapter!
Once again you are doing a lovely job of painting out Pansy's character in an interesting way. The beginning of the chapter was very good, as it described events after the battle effectively and I really liked the part where Pansy walked around the portraits of her ancestors. It had this eerie feel of the pureblooded forefathers lingering there with her.
The house arrest must be tough, having people walk around your home and judging you while you have no real escape. I don't know if I could take that, you really managed to translate that feeling to me as a reader from the page. I can totally see how she doesn't know what to do with all the free time because nothing can keep her busy or interested long enough. She's so full of this restlessness. Not even the thought of writing letters to Draco is enough to appease, since it's all mingled with worry of him etc.
I liked how she thought back on the class with Amortentia. Granger's own smells had been uninteresting; freshly mown grass and new parchment were so plebeian. -> That was an awesome sentence that just about summed it all up.
Your writing, as I probably said before, keeps being very enjoyable. :) Another captivating chapter.
LizAuthor's Response: Thanks for pointing out those typos! I'll be sure to fix them.
I'm glad that you're continuing to enjoy my depiction of Pansy's character.
I don't think that I could stand being under house arrest and having strangers walking through my house, judging me, either, so you're not along in that regard.
And since Pansy doesn't have a computer/internet access... She has nothing to do. :D
I'm glad that you liked that sentence. It's occassionally really fun to write from Pansy's perspective (not that it's boring- it's just that sometimes she has these really fun moments where her superiority comes to the fore in a funny way).
Thanks for your review! :D Report Review
Hello, here for the holiday review swap. So, choosing a story from what you offered was tough, because I basically wanted to read everything, so I might be revisiting that thread if you don't mind. :) In the end I chose a trio fic, because I love them more than anything. This chapter was so well-written and touched on the important character cords so well it clenched my heart. It was also sad, because they're obviously going to be apart, all three of them, for a while. It's natural and they all need to find some footing on their own, but I can imagine how impossible that will be for them to imagine, having been always together for the past seven years.
Harry's choice is rather obvious. Returning to Hogwarts as a student was probably never an option for him, and he knows what he needs to do. It's also true how much it must've cost Hermione to give up her seventh year, but she's a girl who can sort out her priorities now, not like in first year. :) Why study when you can save the world, right?
Ron's part touched me the most. I just wanted to hug him. He's a grown man now, but there's still this little determined kid in him, actually believing all three of them will work in the shop. I can totally see where it's coming from, as he feels the duty to keep them close and watch over them, and make up for that time when he walked out. You portrayed that thought process wonderfully. You didn't even have to spell it out, just being in Ron's head was enough for us to know, the truth was there in between the lines and I really liked that.
Wonderful first chapter. :)Author's Response: Feel free to revisit my review thread as many times as you would like. You are very much welcome to read all of my stories ;)
I'm glad you chose this story to review. It was one of the first ones I had ever written, so it has a special place for me and I'm a bit overly attached it it.
Harry has this overwhelming sense of duty (and a saving people thing). It's why he ends up being an Auror instead of a professional Quidditch player. And it's why he could never go back to Hogwarts after the battle.
You're exactly right about Hermione. It's such fun to watch her priorities change throughout the seven books. At heart, however, she's still that first year who loves books and learning, and is never happier than when she's doing research in the library, figuring out a really tough problem. That's where she's at her best and she knows it.
I'm glad you liked Ron's section and could see where he is coming from. He's one of my very favorite characters to write. I think he's a lot smarter and more insightful than he is usually given credit for.
I really appreciate you leaving this lovely review. I hope to hear from you again! Report Review
I've seen this story around a few times and the summary really intrigued me, so here I am through the lovely holiday swap. :) And I'm so glad I finally got here!
First off, though, I have to say that there are some missing commas in sentences which made me having to go back and reread a sentence. A beta can really help here. :)
Other than that, a very intriguing start. It was new and refreshing to see Ron and Scorpius work together. That is one unlikely pair to cooperate. I also like that if you're building up to some romance between Scorpius and Rose, it will be different and original.
You managed to grab my interest with this murder that opens the story. I want to know why and what comes next, yay mystery! I also liked how Harry remembered Diggle from his first visit to the Cauldron and that Diggle took the Dursleys in. Poor bloke, I wonder who's behind all this.
Great first chapter, I will be back for more. :)Author's Response: Hello!
Unfortunately for poor Dedalus, this story came to me with the first sentence of the first chapter. So as much as I would've liked to keep him alive, it sounded all wrong in my head.
Also, I wanted to make it clear from the beginning that this mystery has something to do with Harry, so who more fitting than the person who first told him there was something special about him other than being a wizard. Sorry, Dedalus!
Thank you for the review! Report Review
So I'm sneaking this chapter in because I really wanted to read about Pansy's reaction to the whole end-of-the-war-you-lost-tee-hee issue. It was even better than the first. It's much like Pansy to think and believe Voldemort had really won. The crushing disappointment and fear must've been pretty drastic for her. She's just...she's still a kid, this girl who instead of worrying about her family and pausing to consider the gravity of what's been happening at Hogwarts keeps living in her perfect world, dreaming of Draco and engagements. For such a person, being dragged back into reality must be all the more painful. I think you did it very well in this chapter, translating how she just doesn't get it, and stubbornly refused to accept things, going, almost literally, with her head against the wall. On the other hand, it showed her determination.
It was also in character for her to stop the elf from punishing himself not because she felt sorry for him but because it was making her head ache more.
The writing flowed very well, it was easy to read and I enjoyed reading it. :) Despite all the negative things I seem to be pointing out about Pansy, there's something about the way you write her that makes me kind of care about her. Maybe because I can sense she won't have it as easy from now on as she used to. You are perfectly showing things from the other side, the losing side. I imagine all families of Death Eaters were in real trouble after the war, even if they haven't been involved. House arrest is something that would drive me crazy. And I really wonder how all this affects and shapes Pansy.
Another intriguing chapter. :) I'm favoriting this, just so you know.
Liz :)Author's Response: Eeee! This review made me so happy! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this chapter!
I don't think Pansy would have been Pansy if she hadn't thought that Voldemort would win. And you're absolutely right that she's still very young. She hasn't really yet had to think about the larger consequences of the events of the world and now she's in for a rather rude awakening.
Haha- don't worry! Pansy is a very negative character at the moment but I'm glad that you're beginning to sympathise (somewhat) with her. Living on the losing side will not be easy and you'll see just how muhc house arrest affects Pansy in the coming chapters!
Thank you for favouriting and for reviewing! :D Report Review
Aaah, Drastoria! I love them, I really do! So happy I might've found a new story thanks to the holiday swap. This first part was very powerful for being so short. Only thing, in the fourth paragraph, at first you write mom, and then mum. I think you should decide for only one, and my personal advice would be the British alternative since the story's taking place in Britain. :)
I'm guessing Astoria was talking, and her voice was haunting and intriguing and so true, what she's been saying about war and everything. I had shivers reading it. I really liked this part,
You can't walk away from mankind because everything seems to be falling apart. You have to pick yourself up and push on. Find your place and go. Wonderfully summed up.
I am curious. About Daphne. About Astoria helping people. About Astoria and Draco. I'd read the next chapter right now if I could, but I'm dead tired, so I'll have to leave that for next time. The story's going to my favorites, though. :) Wonderful prologue. Report Review
Oh man! I really nearly fell of my seat in DISAPPOINTMENT because I expected Krum to be there and sparks to fly oh and I don't know...and there's this Peter character instead, pfft! Well, it's nice pacing at least, because this way I'll definitely read more, not that I wouldn't any other way, though. You sneaky writer, it's a hidden cliffhanger, that's what it is! I guess I won't complain because the next chapter is right there, waiting to be read (YAY!).
The writing is really smooth and I love that, because I just read and read, not skipping a single word. I understood how conflicted Rose must've felt about the offer. It sometimes happens that there's this great offer you get, but something just makes you hesitate. Perhaps her instincts are warning her she's about to plunge into a complicated scandalous affair? Oh boy, shut up, instincts, don't ruin the story!
And wow, so Krum doesn't know about this? Will Rose like pretend to be his friend and secretly dig information. Well that's not very nice, lol, but I guess this happens all the time. I feel like I'm really witnessing tough publishing business here. Do you have real experience with that or is it all thought up, I'm wondering? Either way, it's really well-done.
Aw, poor Rose, crammed up in her apartment and her office. That's like my life. My dorm-room is like a box, too, but I'll take something from Rose and stop viewing it so negatively, I mean, I DO have windows that are more than just a crack under the ceiling.
I'm really liking this story so far and it's been great reading another chapter! :)
LizAuthor's Response: Oh, no. I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to be a disappointment. I just figured Rose and Krum deserved to meet in a place with a little more atmosphere ;)
I can't think of a better compliment than to hear that you find the writing to be smooth. I take a lot of care to try and get it that way, reading lines over and over again until they flow as well as I can make them. *squeee!*
And no, I don't have any publishing experience, but I'm glad all the tidbits I've included sound plausible.
LOL, I hear you on the dorm room. My first office was barely big enough for a desk and completely lacked any windows. Maybe this is my revenge -- taking it out on Rose.
Thank you again and again for all the reviews. If you decide to read any chapters in the future, I hope you enjoy!! Report Review
I don't think fragmented sentences are such a crime. Sure, it's not good when one overuses them (like I sometimes do, unfortunately), but they have a certain purpose in a narration and there are places they fit into. I know I'm not a grammar or flow master, but I didn't have such a problem reading this and following. I kind of got wrapped by the writing in a nice, though heartbreaking way.
You really plunge deeper and deeper into George's grief. The funeral section where he took on Fred's appearance was very unsettling and disturbing, but I understand. There's not many people who can quite imagine the huge aching pain that he must have inside him, and it's still so numbing and fresh. I can see how he struggles, not in the usual way but in a completely frenzy and crazy way.
This story's starting to be very eerie, in a good way so far. I can sort of feel Fred's lingering presence everywhere, just as George describes it. It's painful, that's what it is, and you're invoking these emotions within me very well you evil writer! (I meant that in a very positive way, you're amazing -huggles-)
You give George an amazingly raw touch, to his character and grief. Thank God I've never yet experienced losing someone that close to me, but I can imagine this is what it really feels like. Being in George's crumbling mind just kills me, I miss Fred so much! This is just so wrong, WHY JKR WHY?
Anyway, I think this chapter was great. Terribly sad, but for some reason I'm a sucker for sad things. And your writing is haunting and beautiful in places.
Great job. :)
LizAuthor's Response: Hello Liz, thanks for your lovely review! I'm glad you got through this chapter! I wasn't sure if many people would like it too much, because there's hardly any action, and just, well...a bunch of other ridiculous stuff :D And if you're feeling so very sad, then yes, you should blame JKR! She's the one who killed off Fred! Although after she did that there has been a whole bunch of evil writers like me who keep writing about it and making others sad...bahaha!
Anyways...thanks once again for your review, and thanks for choosing to do the swap with me! Wheee! Happy hols to you!
-teh Report Review
Oh I just loved this. It was wonderful, funny, interesting and made me grin ear to ear by the end of the chapter. I really love the way you write, I just can't wrap my head around the goodness of your writing! I secretly really love Charlie/Tonks, even if there's never a happy ending if you stick to canon. So it just makes me sad usually, but this is so uplifting. I love the fact that the romance was only hinted at, and that the friendship between them was the main focus. For a minute it made me wish to have a friendship like that, easy-going and hilarious. The dialogue carried this story perfectly, I loved reading every sentence these characters said to each other, they were just amazingly natural with each other, it felt real!
Tonks was especially lovely. The clumsiness here felt really in place because sometimes it can be overdone, but here it was just normally a part of her character. Oh and it was so cute when they were both a little jealous, taunting themselves about Hajari and the other girl. I laughed when Tonks imitated him and called Charlie 'Charles', just lol.
The ending took my breath away. I knew there had to be a dragon somewhere in there! It added a wonderful essence of magic to the whole piece. I just adored this little piece, it made me really happy. :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! You always leave the loveliest reviews. :)
I think that the reason why I usually avoid Charlie/Tonks fics is because it can't really turn out in a happily ever after. I love the romantic endings - even if they're tragic like Remus/Tonks. It's why I love Romione and all the other canon pairings. Luna/Rolf. Drastoria. But if Charlie and Tonks were ever together, it didn't work for whatever reason and that makes me sad.
The friendship really was the main focus, and underlying attractions very much to the side, so I'm glad you liked that. I like Charlie/Tonks as a bromance. It would be fun to witness their adventures together.
The secret dragon! And they'll never know! Poor Hajari will probably be subjected to some kind of revenge and won't know why. XD
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I wanted to read this story for a long time, because Pansy is such an interesting fanfiction character. I mean, in the books, she wasn't much, but it was from a perspective of very different character and I think she can be made very, very interesting. This first chapter shows that. I really like that you didn't overlook her negative traits and didn't make her look like a brainless twat as well. That's two things that are done wrong, I think. She's either portrayed as completely stupid or as thoroughly and absolutely misunderstood. I think she's ruthless and a Slytherin through and through, which she had demonstrated in that part of DH. But then we see more of her and I'm really intrigued. She has a brain and she has a world and her beliefs that are twisted, but one feels it's not entirely her fault because she had simply been brought up that way. I really want to learn who she truly is, because there's more to everyone.
She just doesn't know any better and I kind of want to reach out and shake her a little bit to wake up. She's such a child, but I understand that she has resigned to believe the Dark Lord is unstoppable and that's the problem with her.
The descriptions with this were very nice. I liked the Hogsmeade and how deserted and sad it looked. I also felt so empty when Pansy went home, empty and sad for her that she just walked away from a moment when history was made.
I'll be sure to read more of this. This first chapter was great. :) You have very captivating writing.Author's Response: You've wanted to read this story for a long time? That's something I haven't really heard before but I'm very, very happy! I'm so glad that you've gotten around to reading and reviewing it!
I definitely agree that Pansy is an interesting fanfiction character. I love the minor characters because there's so much more room to play with their lives without straying away from canon.
I'm really glad that you enjoyed my characterization of Pansy. As I was writing this chapter it didn't even occur to me to write her as brainless (though I am careful not to write her as overly smart) because, just like you said, she's a Slytherin and she wouldn't have gotten into Slytherin based solely on her blood status.
I look forward to reading your future reviews! I really enjoyed reading this review so thank you, thank you, thank you! Report Review
This. Just...wow. Maybe this story speaks to me in such a special way is because I've gone through a similar break-up recently (I mean, it fixed itself for now, but it was really tough the in-between). I just need to reach out and hug Scorpius because he is so genuine. I also feel kind of bad, because I was Rose, sort of, but also Scorpius a little. And there's just something about your narration, oh my God. Personally, I don't really like beginnings in which the character has a monologue about what happened and how it happened etc etc, I'm more of a jump right into action kind of reader, but here it didn't bother me at all. I really cared and I really wanted to know about what happened to Scorpius and how their relationship ended, I don't even know why, I just did. I love his honesty about the entire issue, especially coming to the end. I've never felt so close to Scorpius in any Scorose before! I also think that the premise is original, because there are all these stories about how they get together and this begins with their break-up. But I believe this will change, I mean, I HOPE SO, because my heart just melted when I read about the way Scorpius loves her. At the same time, I feel he needs to grow a little bit and gain independence. I am really, really interested in this. There were also these little things that I liked, like Lottie calling Scorpius Scorpio, just lol. Also, Draco's attitude about Rose. That sly ferret man! And it was also quite refreshing to read that he wasn't madly against the relationship but the contrary. Overall, a great display of character and I'll definitely be back for more. :) Report Review
Hello, here for the holiday review swap.
I totally had to read this, because it has James/Lily and the Smiths (I put the song on when I read this and it was awesome). I loved that she asked him out, it added a wonderful freshness and uniqueness to the story. And along with the song, I could picture the entire scene of raining and everything. Their conversation was just lovely and I believed it. Although the way she all of a sudden just confessed her love for him was a little weird. I'm not even sure if she had really meant it or was still joking? I would even have liked the kiss more if it were innocent and kind of spontaneous without the love confession before, but that's just me. :) I'll be sure to check out more of this story either through the swap or even just like that. I really really liked it. I am still actually hearing the song in my ears and the rain and can picture James and Lily under the umbrella and just ah! Loved it. :)Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :)
The declaration of love was sarcasm, not Lily being genuine - I tried to indicate that by mentioning that she was using a very dramatic voice, but when I get the chance I'll go back and see if I can make it a bit more clear.
Thank you for the swap! :) Report Review
Hello, here for the Christmas review swap :) First let me just point out little things.
if his education had Hogwarts had been any proof I think you meant AT Hogwarts?
He watched as Seamus carefully opened the lid of the box According to the context, Dean was supposed to be opening the box since he took it into his hand a second before.
And now onto the review! I think it was very sweet and it doesn't really matter if a little cheesy. A bit of cheesiness from time to time won't kill anyone and nice moments like this shouldn't be shunned away because of this. I liked what you did with Seamus here. I don't read much about him, so this was interesting for him, you really gave us a nice image of his character. I also liked the inclusion of Dean and the way you described him -melts- Also, it's so true that being grown-up can be so lousy sometimes, as opposed to the carefree Hogwarts days. I can so relate to Seamus in this.
As for Ava, well...I could completely understand Seamus' frustration. Her behavior would drive me mad in a moment like that, but even if she seemed a little too ditzy at first, in the end I really believed she loves Seamus just as much as he loves her and it added a very lovely feel to the story. Thank you for making me smile. :) This was great.
LizAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review!
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for pointing out those errors! I always seem to miss things like that, no matter how many times I read over a chapter! I'll be sure to fix them up right away:)
Haha, Seamus is one of my favourite characters and I really wanted to write something about him, though not necessarily a whole novel! I haven't read a lot of Seamus pairings out of there and wanted to give it a shot!
Thank you for reviewing!
Courtney:) Report Review
I am in danger of addiction. I really like this chapter. They're grabbing me more and more. We've had a more of an insight into Rose and her life. The starting line just made me snort with laughter, about the high-heels...I know that feeling all too well.
The language in here is flowing so smoothly. Sometimes when I read fics, I find myself skipping over some parts, or reading really fast, but not this time. I was as if glued to the chapter, reading every word. I also liked Al's visit. They seemed to have a nice relationship, even though they've obviously grown apart. The dialogue between them felt familiar and close, I really liked it. Also, it wonderfully showed how stubborn and sort of looking-for-a-conflict Rose might be. As in, you said something, and now she just won't drop it. It reminded me of both Ron and Hermione in different situations, so kudos for that. I like seeing Rose reflect some of R/Hr's traits, because I basically adore them to the moon! I also sympathize with Rose a lot because her living arrangements and daily schedule reflect mine a bit. Also in the point of having to listen to a friend complain about a relationship going through the same issues and no advice will ever help. I wonder why Rose got so immersed in her job in the first place, whether it was just naturally and the job was unexpectedly busy, or whether she went willingly into it, seeking to seclude herself somehow? I'm just speculating because I'm really liking the character you're giving her so far.
Mrs. Larson is really an old bat. You described the nosy snooping neighbor aspect about her spot-on. I've had a neighbor like that and I didn't even need to be a witch. It also sort of gave me a strange feeling how she jumped at Rose. Foolish Muggles, freaked out by anything a little unusual!
The letter at the end just killed me. I loved how apparent it was who wrote it. You really managed to give Heart a voice that is certainly recognized, lol.
It's midnight here and I really have to get back to my heaps of home work, so I'll stop for now, but I'll definitely be back. :) This is great so far!
LizAuthor's Response: You are spoiling me way too much with all these wonderful reviews. I can't thank you enough for all the time you've taken to post them.
I'm so glad you're liking Rose so far. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a bit of me in her, at least in terms of her current stage in life -- starting a career, tiny apartments, not seeing much of old friends. I think there are some truths about being in your 20's that even wizards can't escape. And I'm so glad you see Ron and Hermione in her. I've really been working hard to craft her as a character I could honestly believe had been raised by the two of them. They pop up more in later chapters. If you read on that far, I hope you find I did them justice.
Ahhh, good old Mrs. Larson. I too have had a few less-than-wonderful neighbors in my day. They do seem to be everywhere.
Thanks again for the R&R!! Report Review
This was such a great first chapter. Fast-paced, engaging and it provided these glimpses of the plot and people without being too revealing. At the same time, it wasn't lacking anything in my opinion. Viktor was in the prologue and here we saw Rose. She didn't do and say much, but I already felt some character vibes as she slowly narrated us through the chapter.
I understand how someone might be uncomfortable writing M rated language if they're not used to it, but I think it only proves how versatile you are as an author. It's important to step out of the comfort bubble and just do it. Cursing is real. Many people talk like that all the time. Sometimes it is unnecessary vulgarity, but sometimes it's a part of someone's character. Like in this case, I didn't find it overwhelming, but it painted Heart's character well as this choleric yet determined individual. He actually grabbed my attention more than Rose did and I hope we'll see more of him in a story. He's aggressive but he also seemed like he means well and is dedicated where his employees and business is concerned. I mean, it's his living and it's business, isn't it, so he can't be diplomatic about it nonstop. Oh and as for the lawyer, I feel kinda bad, but I think it was funny when he threw him out. I don't like lawyers as well, so there goes! :D I also like Rose being a writer. It's so easy to imagine and just take as head canon right away. She seemed so sensible in this chapter, it created this little mystery as to what will bring her to fall for Viktor. But after all, we haven't seen all of her yet, which is exciting, because I really want to find out more.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you liked this chapter. I figured since the reader will spend the rest of the story in Rose's POV, I could get away with keeping her in the background a bit here.
I really appreciate what you said about the language -- that's exactly how I was hoping readers would feel about it. It's just part of who Heart is. And I'm really glad you liked his character here. I don't see him as a bad person, just someone who doesn't sugarcoat things. He has his agenda, and he doesn't feel the need to be apologize for it.
Thanks again for another lovely review! Report Review
I wanted to read this for ages! It's such an interesting concept. Also very scandalous, too, like you said, but I don't mind. :D The first chapter was captivating from beginning to end. I like it when the story starts with a scene that takes place after the main events of the plot. It adds a nice sense of foreboding when done right and you did just that. Viktor is no longer the usually mute guy from GoF, but he resonated something that really drew me in. I want to know what happened to him and how he ended up in this mysterious place being interrogated in such a way by that man. Great first chapter and yay I'm finally reading it. Lots of catching up to do, but at least there's so many chapters already and no waiting. :)Author's Response: Thank you so much, shadow! I'm a fan of the flash-forward prologue too, especially if a story might take a while to develop, which this one does. I'm glad you thought it worked here. And I'm so glad you liked Viktor. He isn't exactly warm and fuzzy, but I've really enjoyed writing him.
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and check out my story and for leaving such a nice review :) Report Review
Oh I also forgot to add in regards to your AN, I recently bought an owl plush puppet and named it Mr. Nathaniel Hoothorne. Although I doubt wizards are familiar with this guy, so never mind. :D
This was another great chapter about Angelina and it built her character so nicely. Back here, she's this normal girl just living her life, having the usual problems with her own spin on it when suddenly very slowly war starts to seep in and she starts to realize it. You've thought this mixed chronology perfectly. It provides such a unique pace and flow to the story. I want to know what happens in the future just as I want to know what happened in the past.
I really liked the DA meeting from Angelina's point of view. I should read OotP again because it brought memories of the book really swiftly. :) Lora and her Headgrilness is so much fun, and all the verbal exchanges with Alicia crack me up! It was nice and soothing to read a sort of lighter chapter like this after the previous emotion-packed one (although I really, really loved it). I mean, sure, the ending was darker and tainted with the horrible reality, but the rest of it just made me smile and sigh because it was so real-life all of it. And then some moments, like George holding Angelina by the shoulders. I melted into a puddle and had a hard time coming back from it. It was so fleeting and random and so, so lovely. Then Angelina's sudden decision and determination to tell George about her feelings! That takes some guts at that age, and I was looking forward to their meeting. I admit I completely forgot about the attack on Mr. Weasley, so my emotions were running very similarly with Angelina. I was upset George didn't show up (although I sensed he didn't do it on purpose) and then when they mentioned Arthur I just went week in the knees when I remembered all the worry of that scene. I'm not usually into female fanfic characters, but I simply adore your Angelina. She's the kind of girl I find myself desperately rooting for.
Another fantastic chapter, dear! :) Report Review
I've done the mistake of printing out this chapter and reading it in the library at uni today. I looked kind of awkward tearing up in the corner over a piece of paper but what the heck, I couldn't do otherwise because this was so packed with real, raw emotion. Everything about it, really. Just from the beginning when George arrives I felt my skin prickling, because I knew what was about to happen. It was poignant and significant in every new sentence. Your words carried the flow of the entire chapter perfectly, through many emotional turbulences. There's not only George's grief, but the reader's grief as well. It's not easy getting something like that across. What I most love about this story and why I cam back to it is how it affects and touches me as a reader and a person, so intensely that I feel like I'm a part of the story. It's amazing and I love being so immersed in some stories, although it's tough sometimes because my every fiber just wants to cry in moments like this.
I thought I'd die when George entered the Hog's Head. How desolate it looked, and sad, only a fraction of the Order sitting there. It could be felt around everyone, from Molly to Ron, and it broke my heart seeing them like that. And there truly wasn't only the sadness after Fred, but also Remus and Tonks, which later resonated even stronger during the ceremonial.
I loved how George realized he wanted and needed some of his mother's fussing. They both provided comfort to each other that way, and it truly warmed my heart. I can hardly find the words for the ceremonial. I don't think you could've done it better. It's perfect. It's tragic, but has a sense of uplifting as well. Still, I felt smothered by the sadness of hearing Kingsley speak, and then Minerva. By the way, having George's thoughts being broken up by Kingsley's voice during the battle was a nice touch. Then the descriptions, crushingly beautiful, really! The way you described the castle and the entire atmosphere was just brilliant. I don't get it how your words can affect me this much!
I was so glad Angelina went after George. I expected her to, but I still felt relieved when she did, and even more so when he didn't push her away. They hardly said anything, but the support between them was almost tangible. Angelina is such an amazing woman. What I love about her is that she understands him and doesn't push him in any way.
I really, really just love this story. Report Review
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