Reading Reviews From Member: iluv2eatcarbs
386 Reviews Found

Review #1, by iluv2eatcarbsThe Marauding Misadventures of a Murderous Beater: Pinky Swear

19th June 2011:
Moments! I am so sorry for my absence I have been ridiculously busy and haven't had much down time! I've actually been reading your chapters -like always, too addicted to not stay up to date with this story- but haven't had the time to leave a review like before. But here I am now! I don't know how many chapters I'll be able to review today, but don't worry every single lovely chapter of yours will be reviewed sometime in the next couple week! Haha that's not that great of a promise but it's all I can offer. Anywho, have to re-read these chapters twice so hopefully I can gather everything that I loved about it into this review. Tally-ho!

"But I knew Matt well enough to figure that there was a small, quiet part of his brain that was slowly but surely writing his will." That. Was an awesome sentence. I know it's not one of the more obvious of lines, with large laughs behind them, but what I love about your writing are the subtleties. Some of your sentences are so well-written that I just stare at the words going "If I didn't love this story so much I would hate you because of your talent." Honestly, I'm jealous every time I read one of your chapters and you've come up with an awesome plot idea or something like that, I wish I had your mind sometimes, woman!

Unbreakable vow. I never even thought of doing something like that for when an OC finds out about Remus's condition! What another brilliant idea of yours. And how true of you to stick to Kylie's character by making sure she still had the reigns on the situation (she's a bit of a control freak, isn't she?). The scene was so...Kylie, which every scene is but in some scenes your grasp on her character shines through much more than others. Did that make sense at all? I feel like I just talked in circles.

As for the Matt/Jaz/Remus dibacle I think why I'm team Jaz/Remus and not team Jaz/Matt is because I can't really see why he likes Jaz so much. I fee like...he doesn't treat her any differently than Kylie and there hasn't been like a moment that's really set it apart for me to be like "Oh, that's why he's in love with her!" Maybe I just haven't caught onto it yet or something, or I've forgotten a moment/line where it describes why he's in love with her. But I'm still team Jaz/Remus...but that could change along the way! Also, I was wondering (before I forget to ask) but how many more chapters are you planning on making this? Are you going to do a sequel or will this story carry on after they graduate? These are the questions that plague me at night :P

Anyway, the last bit was SO adorable! Drawing hearts around a dog? Oh Kylie, you've got it so bad for Sirius. She just needs to come to terms with it already haha. Even thogh in the future chapters she does...ah well, those reviews saved for later! Anyway, another wonderful chapter, like always : )


Author's Response: Lauren! Welcome back! Long time no see! I was getting worried that you had ~ gasp ~ decided to quit HPFF! But no, you're back, and survived basic training, and reviewing! Thanks so much for stopping by!
I'm glad that you're enjoying the more subtle humorous parts of the story - like you said, not every bit of wit has a large amount of laughter behind it, so sometimes it's harder to pick up on. I'm certianly glad that you don't hate me, and really, don't be jealous - you're stories are absolutely awesome! You don't need my mind to be epic!
Kylie isn't a control freak as much as she is an extremist - instead of just chilling out and letting the boys make her Unbreakable Vow, she has to be the one to make it, or else let it be completely out of her hands. She has to be the one to start the riot, or the one who tries to stop it - she's either one side or the other. Never in the middle. That's what makes her such a hard character to deal with at times; she never goes the way I plan... I guess I'm just a middle kind of person.
The reason you don't remember a line/moment is because there never was a line/moment - not yet, anyway. I guess it's one of those cases where you grow up with someone for six years and one day you look at them and say to yourself, "I'm supposed to marry you." But if you aren't feeling the Matthew Pearl love, don't worry - when the poop hits the fan, everyone's going to be feeling it... at least, I hope so.
I've been pondering having a sequel - if this story goes the way I plan, I may have one, but that is undecided at this point in time. The idea is there, as well as roughly everyone who will be taking place in it, but I still have to let this story have it's time in the spotlight.
Give the girl a little bit of time - she'll find it out eventually.
Thank you so much, once again, and it's great seeing you back!

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Review #2, by iluv2eatcarbsThe Marauding Misadventures of a Murderous Beater: Transition

25th March 2011:
HELLO!!! that is me being very excited. Long time no talk! I finally graduated from BMT last week Thursday and this is the first time I've had access to a computer and I had to immediatley catch up on your story! All is well with me, I'm now in Mississippi for tech school (I don't know if you're from the states and know where that is but I thought I should tell you anyway :P) But enough about that onto your always lovely story! :)

I was caught back up in Kylie/Sirius from the opening line once again, i was worried i was going to be detached from them after almost 3 months of seperation (sounds a tad bit dramatic but oh well). This chapter was brilliant, as usual. Kylie's reactions were spot on and what I loved most about this chapter was how you kept Remus as half wolf half human after the transformation. Iv'e never read a story where Remus stayed half in his form and it really fits and would make sense and it was a brilliant detail to put in the story, which is why your story stands above and beyond others.

As for Kylius, was that Sirius asking Kylie out on a date sort of ish? I think his own obscure way. Anyway, this review isn't as long as my other ones but I want to read the next chapters! I've got 5 wonderful chapters to catch up on and I want to get to it and then go to bed!


Author's Response: Hey! Welcome back! Congradulations on making it out of BMT alive! It's a pretty hard program, so you definately deserve props for that!
I'm glad that you aren't suffering from any kind of seperation anxiety or anything, and that they're still relatable! I figured that because everyone always just sort of skipped over the nastier parts of being a werewolf (aside from the fact that you're a werewolf, for pete's sake!) so I thought I would... try to show some other aspects of it as well. Thanks so much!
Of course it was a date(ish) - I've been stringing everyone along for so long now that I may as well throw all of you lovely people a bone! Sleep well, and thanks for writing a review - I shall see you around, my dear! Welcome back once again!

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Review #3, by iluv2eatcarbsA Spectral Memory Untouched: "His name is Ian Hayes."

12th January 2011:
Hey! So I'm here always on time and not at all flake-y with actually getting around to reading/reviewing :P Yeah...that was sarcasm, because I suck and am a lazy slacker and awful friend at times. Anyway. This chapter was superawesomemegafoxyhot. And in that order.

It was so sad in the beginning I was like aw J (I'm calling her's a nickname of endearment haha) you did a really good job at describing all of her emotions and I loved how Remus went over and comforted her. But she should really tell someone about what happened! Can you imagine keeping that all bottled up inside? Lord, I would explode!

I also LOVED the Transfiguration scene with her and Sirius. It was hilarious. The hydrant and the dog part had me laughing, very clever Danica, very clever indeed! :)

I can't believe she's now having to tote around Ian, that would be way too painful. Loving someone who can't remember you. I hope that he remembers her, he can't not not remember her, otherwise you are made of pure evviil!

Onto the next chappie :)


Author's Response: lauren!!! love ya! miss ya! i'm taking good care of your story. updating like you asked. =D

ahhh! thanks so much for all of the lovely things you said in this review! hope you keep reading when you get back!

thanks again!

~ Danica

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Review #4, by iluv2eatcarbsThe Marauding Misadventures of a Murderous Beater: The Perils of Moonbeams

9th January 2011:
ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!! Oh my god this chapter was so unbelievably amazing I can't even get over. Holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap. I just needed to get that out of my system.holy crap.

Usually when people write about the first time the OC finds out about Remus it's usually through their wicked minds and never experiencing it. But how Kylie found out about I was literally holding my breath throughout the last half of this chapter. Your use of descriptions was so incredible it was like the scene was playing out before my eyes like a movie rather than the fact I was actually reading it.

You described Kylie's fear so perfectly, how she used her best assets and irrationality to try and get away from Remus in his werewolf form. When she used the vine to swing and not fall I was like god...she's so freaking bad ass I cannot get over it. And not to mention that that was a perfect played out scene on your part, I could have seen this in a movie. In fact, I think your story could be turned into a movie because it's got all of the perfect elements to it.

As for the beginning with her and Sirius when it started off gentle and how he rubbed her cheek bone and jaw I was like...gah! I died a little from the cutenes of it. And Kylie needs to admit already that she fancies Sirius! This is getting ridiculous its so obvious. And he's in love with her and he needs to admit it as well because they're both being cotton headed ninny muggins and being way too evasive for my liking!

So this chapter was amazing, you are truly a great and talented author and I seriously hope you pursue writing in your future because if you ever publish a book or something along those lines I will be first in line at Barnes and Noble to pick up a copy! I hope you update soon! I'm leaving for basic January 18th so I hope you get a chapter out before that. If, not, I'll be back around early April end of March and be reviewing every chapter you've posted since then. So don't think I've forgotten about this story because it's my favorite story...ever! So I hope you update soon! You rock : )


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Wow, that's a lot of saintly shit!
Kylie is pleanty smart, so it's not like that wasn't a possibility for her - but I'm kind of with you and got tired of everyone going on about how they just happened to have the wits to figure it out all by themselves. So why not have a hands-on experiance with the little devil instead of all of this happening upon it junk. I'm glad that you saw it and not just read it - it feld like a little bit of a sensory overload when I went over it, so it's a goood thing that you didn't think it was all too much!
Kylie is Kylie, even in the face of extreme danger - and we haven't really experianced her terror before now. Nerves, anxiousness, near-vomiting, yeah, but not actual fear. I knew I had to work it in soon, so this seemed like a natrual place to put it. I wasn't sure if the bit with the vine was overdoing things, so it's good that you didn't think so!
I'm slowly but surely overloading you with Sirius-Kylie moments that will eventually lead up to some kind of wonderful revelation - but not yet. As of now, they shall just have to be cotton headed ninny muggins and wait it out.
In all honesty, if I ever fail to update for a long amount of time and don't blame it on the queue it's because a personal project has gotten in the way of my HPFF muses. I love writing - if I had more time and did it any more often, I would probably have to go to rehab or something. The next chapter is already in the queue, so we hopefully won't have to wait too long!
You'll to great in basic - really, I have faith in you! Just don't let things freak you out - you know what you're doing! Good luck until later, and thank you for signing up to protect our country!

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Review #5, by iluv2eatcarbsTrust: The Escape

6th January 2011:
I love this story! I forgot to leave a review for the first chapter but i'm here reviewing the second. You said there's only 2 more chapters left, right? Well I'll be sad once it's over. You should consider writing a story during their time at Hogwarts! Can't wait for the next update.


Author's Response: Awww, Thank you! :)
Actually, there is only one chapter left, but i am thinking about a prequel :)
Thanks for the review, Leanne

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Review #6, by iluv2eatcarbsMore than Just a Brushstroke: Confused About Confusion

1st January 2011:
Ok so I'm hooked on this story. It's really interesting and depressing but not so much where I feel sad reading it the whole time. I see you haven't updated in a long time though, do you have any plans on updating? If not I'd really like to know what happens in the end. Thanks :)


Author's Response: I really do have plans for updating, I really, truly do. I am currently very dedicated to another project at the moment, and it sort of takes up all of my writing time, but this story is one that I really want to return to one day. There is something about it that I just can't shake or stop thinking about, so I really don't think I will ever just abandon it completely. Thank you for the review, and I'll do my best!

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Review #7, by iluv2eatcarbsThe Never Forgotten: Chapter 2

7th December 2010:
Hi I absolutly ADORE this story, I read it all within 2 days, the first one and the sequel. But I actually have a question; in the first story there's a quote from Remus saying "Sirius lost everything a man could lose" I was wondering if this was from the books or if you made it up because I want to use the quote but if it isn't from the books I can't very well use the quote. Thanks for letting me know :)

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Review #8, by iluv2eatcarbsKeeping the Secret: KA-POW!!

6th December 2010:
Interesting chapter again. I rather like your depiction of Mary and hope you progress with her character! I liked when her and Remus are paired up and Deora was saying he better not have any impure thoughts of her, I laughed out loud at that one. Onto the next chappie :)


Author's Response: Haha, Mary's adorable. She definitely gets more of a spotlight in the next few chapters and plays a major part in Sirius/Deora's relationship.. but we will see later on ;) And thank you so much for all the reviews because it makes me so happy every time I read them. Also, I apologise for the super late replies!! Anyway I hope you keep reading and staying caught up with KtS. There will be a lot more surprises and twists (I hope) and should get a bit crazier and insane. Thanks for reading & reviewing!! You're the bestest!!! xxx

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Review #9, by iluv2eatcarbsKeeping the Secret: I Solemnly Swear Not to Punch Anyone...

6th December 2010:
I like that you've make Peter likeable. Many stories make him a stupid nobody, when we know that can't be true. He was an animagus and he was friends with the Marauders and put in Gryffindor, if he was useless no one would've kept them around. And Sirius used him as a secret keeper so obviously he had some merit to him. That being said, I still adore this story! It's sad they have to keep their friendship a secret, I'm wondering if Peter fancies her and that when she starts dating Sirius that will be the thing to push him over the edge. I'll guess I'll have to wait and see :)

Oh, and the last line was brilliant, I was snorting when I read it. Poor Fat Lady.


Author's Response: Hehehe I loved that last line as well!! And no Peter does not fancy Deora... but he's very... protective of her as well as she is of him. She's the closest thing he has to a proper family aside from the Marauders. But yes, this will definitely tie into a lot of what happens at the end of this fanfic. I really can't reveal much but if you stay tuned, you'll see ;) xx

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Review #10, by iluv2eatcarbsKeeping the Secret: Secret Friends

6th December 2010:
This is really interesting! I haven't read a story where a girl and Peter start off being friends and it's a different approach for a Sirius/OC story. I like Deora already, even at the tender age of 10 I can tell she's really spunky and will be there for Peter and I'll grow to love her character. Amazing first chapter :)


Author's Response: Yay thank you!! You're amazing for reviewing... anyway, I'm going to write a nice long response on your last review :P xx

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Review #11, by iluv2eatcarbsThe Marauding Misadventures of a Murderous Beater: Sirius's Science

4th December 2010:
OH MY GOSH!!! So much sexual tension, good lord, I was almost about to fan myself! This chapter was positively brilliant. From the sexual tension, to the witty banner, to the cuteness of the Squishy. Perfect chapter in my opinion, one of my favorites in this story!

Sirius and Kylie have been blended into the perfect couple. At first they were fire and water but now they are molding into a couple like a couple should :) It's so obvious that Kylie likes him, she's a smart girl, but she's kind of really dumb in this instance. And when they were in the showers she just wanted a peak of his head, really??? Maybe I'm just really pervvy but if someone as attractive as Sirius Black was naked right next to me I would probably want to do more than see his face :P Alright...done with that...ficitional character, I'm pulling it together.

As for the Quidditch part, I guess it was nice for them to experience an easy team. It was a rather fast game, wasn't it? But I guess not everyone can be totally awesome.

How many more chapters are you planning for this story? I only ask because I'm going to basic for the air force January 18th and I'm afraid I'm going to miss this story for 2 1/2 months :( So if there is a dissaprance from me around that time you'll now know why but once I'm back I'll be leaving reviews once again :) Anyway, please update soon!!! :D


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
It has been quite a while before we had the tension like this, so I thought I should add gobzoodles (No, that isn't a word) to this one. I'm starting to really like Squishy's existance in the story, if I'm allowed to say that myself - he's the one constant randomness that I have been assured.
Constant Randomness. Isn't that an oxymoron? Or an epic name for a band?
I think that the fact that they are kind of fire and water has been something that had inhanced them AS a couple - opposites do attract - but like you said, their age and maturity have gradually molded them together. She is kind of oblivious to herself, but that won't keep going for long! Maybe she did want more than that, but for the sake of the story she will remain looking at his head... that, and the fact that she is rather short (not short short, but shorter-than-shower-stalls short) doesn't let her look as much as she might.
I know it was fast, and I was going to write on it a lot more, but the fact that this is a HUGE Quidditch competition makes it a little difficult. For one, you have to weed out the weaklings, and for another, that gives you a lot of stuff to work with. I made this one short so the others can be better - if I use up all my material early, then you'll be reading something that feels way to firmiliar for my liking.
Right now, I don't have any set number as far as chapters... more than twenty five, definately, but beyond that I'm clueless. Good luck at the air force! I'm sure you'll do great!!

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Review #12, by iluv2eatcarbsFragile Things : Ch. 12 - First Day

30th November 2010:
Despite the fact this was a filler chapter I still enjoyed it. You're going to need a few filler chapters in order to establish Elaina's new way of life, her new friendships, new enemies. With this story it can't be constanly lGO GO GO (if you know what I mean). I want more Sirius/Elaina action though! Let's get some sexual tension and meaningful glances across the room in this story :P

Also, I'm really hating Mary. There is absolutly nothing likeable about her so I hope that changes, or at least her reasoning is backed up. Keep it up and update soon!! :D


Author's Response: Aw thank you. And I'm getting to the sexual tension, I promise! A couple more chapters and it will be all over the place!

I'm going to try and change people's opinion on Mary... I kind of feel bad for making her the way she is right now... ^_^'

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Review #13, by iluv2eatcarbsA Subtle Touch Unseen: "I will always be yours."

29th November 2010:
DANIICA!!! So I'm an awful friend for never having finished this story but it's really quite discouraging for me because I've fallen in love with this story, like obsessive will re-read this every night and want to cuddle it for all of eternity. As you know, I'm a hardcore Sirius/OC/Sirius.Anyone shipper and I've never actually read an OC/OC story before where it's the main character but this was amazing!!! I mean, I knew how it was going to end but I was crying at the end of this story. This is so so so so so sad!

I love how when I'm reading this story I can definatley see your voice coming through. All the wise ass remarks and what not, totally Danica. And when Jenyse said she couldn't date anyone younger than her I laughed because we've had one too many conversations on this exact topic. Anyway! I can't wait to get to the sequel now, where I don't know what's going to happen!


Author's Response: lauren!! ahh! you make me so happy. sorry this has taken forever for me to reply, but i'm here.

you like it? you really like it?? you mean it??? AHH! hahah. even though i've read this review before, i am still jumping off the walls at all the compliments! thanks so much! i am so glad that my OC/OC story was worthy of your eyes. =D

hahaha! as i've told many other reviewers, Jenyse is who i aspire to be. haha. i wish i was her. and yes. younger boys. yuck!

thanks so so much, lauren! you're the best!

~ Danica

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Review #14, by iluv2eatcarbsThe Marauding Misadventures of a Murderous Beater: Squishy

28th November 2010:
adljfalsjflasja!!! Oh my god. Moments, I had typed my usual review and it didn't send and now I have to restart thing. Gah, butt monkey. Anyway I'm going to try and remember everything I had typed in the first one. The beginning of the conversation starting with: the squishy. I swear we're like soul mates or something, or just really awesome people because when I was like in seventh or eighth grade (which was like 8 or 9 years ago so I don't know how I remember this...) I had an orange that I named Squishy, thought I should share that with you.

But the Squishy scene was absolutly hilarious and grown men were hiding behind a couch had me laughing out loud.

Kylius action!!! They are awfully close though, aren't they? At one point Kylie grabs Sirius around the neck and kisses him on the nose, a bold move on Kylie's part I think. They're getting very close, maybe nakey time close? Haha okay no more of that. I want them together already!!! The suspense is killing me!!

anyway this is a shorter review than usual :( But I'm getting frustrated typing it twice and you already know how awesome I think you are so yes, please update soon :) And also, the Author's page and Hunger Games tribute=excellent ideas!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
I'm sorry that it didn't send! That had to suck so much!
Bahahaha, I love it - orange named Squishy! That's great. This little guy isn't anywhere near as origional as that!
I tried to make the bit with Squishy as funny as possible, though I know how really random it was!
As much Kylius stuff was in here, there is much, much more to come in the next chapter! They're not quite nakey time close, but they're probably getting to that point!
I understand why it's shorter, and no worries - no hard feelings or anything! The important part is that you decided to type the bulk of it again, and that's what makes YOU completely epic!

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Review #15, by iluv2eatcarbsThe Marauding Misadventures of a Murderous Beater: Patterns

24th November 2010:
Moments! So sorry it's taken me so long to review. I'm sure you've been waiting by your computer going where the hell is Lauren?!?! :P Real life is a bitch, like always and I've had this chapter saved onto my documents for a while now, been meaning to read it but haven't made the time to do so yet (I've also just started the book the Hunger Games and a lot of my spare time has been devoted to that) but anyway I'm here now!!! And one comment I have to make before I dive into the review is that I think you should have a meet the author page! It's a place where your reviewers can boost your ego. Just a suggestion...

Poor Sirius, everyone is giving him crap for dropping Kylie which wasn't REALLY his fault, but only he and Kylie know that and he feels awful about it.

If I were Kylie and being babied so much I would probably punch someone, I'm actually surprised she didn't lash out more at people since she isn't the type to be babied. I was surprised by her calmness for people trying to hit bludgers and not letting her play.

And the ending of the chapter had to be the best part! The way you're building their relationship is amazing, while there is some sexual tension it's not just purely sexual tension, which a lot of writers do. A mistake a lot of people tend to make is they keep in the phyiscal attracted but leave out the emotional, and you've done a fine job of that. Also, you can see where Sirius became more mature, after loving another kid. That was a nice touch and totally original. Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter :) Hope quidditch is in it and some sexual tension :P


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Real life is terribly painful, which is why I reject it constantly (kidding, haha. I'm not a freak.). And I totally understand the Hunger Games thing - I was obcessed with those books for so long it was really unhealthy. I've been thinking about writing a tribute to it on this website, and have kind of messed with it a little bit. Your opinion on that? Maybe I should try to make a page - my ego can always use boosting (kidding again!)

Yeah, it isn't his fault, but at least Kylie is there to help boost him back up! She always tries to help... even though a lot of times she just hurts :)

I figured that she has and will hit more than enough people during this competition, so I thought I would save their team members tis time at least. I think Sirius is starting to water her down a little bit, but in a good way - she's still Kylie, but she can face the world head on a little better.

I've had a lot of people think that this had so little sexual tension and so much cuteness, so it's good to see that someone has found it romantic in a grown-up way. I've tried to balance the emotions and the physical, and I've been getting worried that I've had an overload with the emotional. So for a little while, we might have more than the expected amount of physcal going on! I was hoping I timed Sirius's story right with him kind of growing up prior to their seventh year - hopefully it all matches up well! Quidditch will be in the chapter after the one on its way, and the same one has a LOT of romantic tension, if I do say so myself!

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Review #16, by iluv2eatcarbsFragile Things : Ch. 11 - Making an Effort

24th November 2010:
I'm the 100th reviewer!! Whoot!!! And after I leave this review I'm going to e-mail you for your story :) Anyway, onto your story!

The beginning was hilarious with Elaina being afraid of teenage girls and then Sirius being the perv that he is, brilliant. I honestly don't understand why you think you're bad with humor because despite the fact that this story is mainly a angst-y story the humor you throw in is entertaining and funny :)

The chapter was amazing, I love the character developments you have! I like Remus and her...the scene was brief but I kind of like how they interract and I hope you have more of their friendship to come!!! Keep up the amazing work :)


Author's Response: Haha, good for you! :P

Yeah, I can do like small humorous things in a story full of drama and angst, but outright humor it all just turns out to be an epic failure on my part ^_^'

But I'm glad that you liked the chapter! :)

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Review #17, by iluv2eatcarbsSigned with Love: Prologue

9th November 2010:
Hey interesting start very sad already though. Also, I don't mean to be a stickler but in your summary the quote comes directly from Lost in Austen and as a person whose had their work stolen before I hate to see when people go uncredited. I thought I should just let you know :)

Author's Response: I've actually never seen the movie but a friend told me that line, I'll change it immediatly, I'm really sorry. Anyway thank you so much for reviewing its really great to hear a readers view of the story. Thank you again. I hope you like the story

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Review #18, by iluv2eatcarbsFragile Things : Ch. 10 - To Start Over

8th November 2010:
Gah I'm sorry its taken me so long to review!!! Please don't hold it against me. But I liked this chapter, I don't know what you're talking about. It gave us a different dynamic to Elaina because we haven't seen her with her other friends. And Bella was so freaking cruel, I mean she basically blamed Elaina for her parents deaths, how awful is that? And then Evan...I mean you would think that if he found out she wasn't dead that he would be exstatic. And this is another reason why Slytherin sucks :P Anyway can't wait to see the next update from you!


Author's Response: No need to apologize! I understand you have a life, haha. And yeah, Bella was cruel, but that's who she is. As for Evan, that wasn't the last we're gonna see of him.
But I'm glad you liked the chapter! :)

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Review #19, by iluv2eatcarbsThe Marauding Misadventures of a Murderous Beater: Friends and Falling

5th November 2010:
adsjlfasdfsa Moments!!! How can you leave me like this!?! Gah. Poor Kylie that was an intense fall, I hope she's okay and this isn't going to jeopardize her place in Quidditch!! That would be awful and I would probably hate you for it. Okay, I couldn't hate you but I would be strongly dissapointed.

Anyway, aside from my anger of this cliffhanger (you were doing so well, not having any cliffhangers for a few chapters there). I've decided I'm team Jaz/Remus. I don't care that he inevitably winds up with Tonks and that Matt wants her, I love them. So there's my final opinion on the matter, even though I'm sure this relationship isn't going to stick unless you went AU or killed her off.

I loved how when Kylie and Sirius were talking about how they could work as a couple and couldn't one of the things that was mentioned was Kylie's quick temper, and low and behold 2 seconds later she's off her rocker screaming at Sirius. Oh how Sirius knows Kylie so well.

Also (the best part) we're starting to see how Kylie is starting to like Sirius!! She can't wait to see him and things like that, small things that probably go unnoticed by her but us readers are able to catch onto and can root for Kylius (Sirius/Kylie combined...I'm cool...). Anyway, I hope that Kylie and Sirius don't argue after this because I love them together and would hate to see them fight! Another awesome chapter, not that I need to tell you that because every chapter is awesome. Thanks for the update :) You rule!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Sorry! I have this thing with cliffhangers... but you probably know that already! I can promise you that it won't jeperodize her position - what's a story with a Quidditch inspired name without the Quidditch? - so no disapointment there! (Hopefully)
Cliff hangers are the drug I can't stay away from... and this time it wasn't completely my fault! It wouldn't NOT be written, if you know what I mean. I'm kind of surprised that you've gone the Remus route. I guess I figured that you would be one of those undecided or team Matt people - I'm not complaining, just surprised.
Sirius does know her really well - and she seems to know herself as well. I figured that would be a wee bit ironic, but I didn't really write this scene - they did.
Her feelings are growing, just like I kept promicing they would! They were slow at first, but now that she's realizing hopefully they will speed up a bit! (Kylius is deffinately the coolest name ever. Hands down, no joke) I can't give much away for the future chapters, no matter how much I want too...
You're amazing for another beautiful review!!!

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Review #20, by iluv2eatcarbsPureblood: Excel

26th October 2010:

So glad to see you're back :) I was addicted to this story and upset about the length of time between updates, but I completely understand! I love how your walls of hatred are starting to come down between Sirius and Alex. It makes complete sense as to why Sirius would want Alex on the 'good' side and as to why he's giiving her so much attention. in a lot of sirius/oc fics the reason why the two people start hanging around with each other usually is pretty cliche and predictable. But yours is so utterly original. Please update soon :)


Author's Response: Wow thanks so much for the quick review! I'm so glad you like it =)

I really am sorry for the slow updates I've had so many new fans of the story lately I don't wanna disappoint any of you! I have the next chapter pretty much planned out in my head, I just have to sit down and write it =)

Thanks again!


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Review #21, by iluv2eatcarbsThe Marauding Misadventures of a Murderous Beater: The First Installment

26th October 2010:
Ok, Moments (I don't know your real name so I'm going to call you Moments) this is my favorite chapter out of this story, hell, out of any story that I've read on HPFF. It wasn't exactly plot driven but everything I love about this story was planted in this chapter and I've read the chapter twice before writing this review because I want to get over the amazingness of it and be able to review the actual chapter itself.

Let's hope I can manage to fit every tiny thing I loved about this chapter into this review, so sorry if I skip over something, because in order to review it the way I would want to is basically copy and paste the entire chapter into this review box and just say The entirety of this is amazing' but I would like to be more specific, ok I'm done rambling now and I'll just get to reviewing!

First off, I don't know how you aren't getting more reviews. You are one of the best and most creative on this site and you siriusly deserve more recognition and I'm going to throw a parade of sorts in your honor.

I'm warning you now that this review is going to be very long and that you may want to set aside a good chunk of time in order to read this and respond to it :P

I'm going to start with the opening scene. The way you use descriptions in day to day tasks is amazing. Usually I get bored when someone talks about showering getting ready...ect...because usually I don't need that much detail on what you do in a shower as I take them myself, but the way you describe things is so interesting and different from other stories that there's literally nothing I don't love about this chapter (and this story in general).

I liked how you did the note thing from Sirius and had her use the floo network in order to respond, completely clever and amusing at the same time. And more Jaz/Matt/Kylie friendship! Gah they're so amazing, honestly. They're so well written as friends I can't get over it. Slightly reminds me of Harry/Ron/Hermione, only I find myself more amused by your characters, truth be told. How they interact and know each other so well is so well depicted by you I can hardly get over it. When they were writing the note to each other in class was adorable and I found myself laughing. It's totally something I would do/say with my friends and I love how realistic they are and how oblivious Jaz is to Matt's feelings.

Also, your ability to use subtle humor and throw it into stories just works. When Jaz was straddling the couch the mental image of her made me laugh out loud (the people I'm on the train with casted me concerned looks). I love how they keep badgering how about Sirius is in love with her, which they should continue to do because Sirius is so obviously into Kylie and she's about as blind as Ray Charles.

And then the actual prank itself! I usually don't find people's pranks written in stories believable enough or epic enough to suit the Marauder's, but you my dear pulled it off! I loved how Kylie was sliding down the banister following it, it was a nice descriptive point to add to the story.

And more Sirius/Kylie action, I'm loving them so much as a pairing I can hardly contain myself. Sirius is so freaking adorable I can't get over it! Also, how Kylie ripped apart that apple, is that possible? Because if so that's really BA (can't swear, so abbreviations are necessary).

How Sirius is getting to know Kylie is really cute, and not cheesy. I love how he genuinely cares about her and she just thinks he's playing games (at least that's what i'm getting, I don't think she thinks he's entirely sincere) OH! And how they're hubby and wifey is hilarious, I actually did that with one of my guy friends and I started feeling nostalgic hah.

When Sirius tested to see if she was dead or not OH MY GOD! So hot. I could imagine exactly what he was doing and I don't know how Kylie is resisting the temptation. Then her reaction was so perfect and in character I once again burst out laughing and scared my fellow train passengers for the second time. Kylie's got quite the bitter past, doesn't she? But I like how you still make her optimistic and not like Feel sorry for me because I had a tough upbringing.

Anyway, I feel like I've covered most of what I wanted to. I've probably left a few things out...I may need to re-read this chapter for a 3rd time. I'm going to stop this review now though because it is going into 3 pages (And yes I'm typing it on microsoft word in the event it doesn't send the first time so I can be certain to have this long review saved). Sorry if it's an annoying length and you only respond to it with a few brief sentences, I would completely understand. I got a little carried away with this review :/ But I loved this chapter so much I HAD TO share it with you! I can't wait for more, as always! I'm impatiently waiting for the next chapter :) Also, this review is over 900 words...this is getting a little ridiculous. I'm done talking right...MEOW!


Author's Response: Thank you for the amazing-oh-my-good-God-mind-blowingly-long-and-epic-enter-the-sounds-you-make-when-absoletely-in-shock-here review! Really, this thing is so beautiful and just made my day!
I was kind of worried that this chapter would be a bit of a letdown after the past two that were kind of packed with the original plot of the story, but evidently not after looking at the beautiful review that you left! I’m glad that it’s good enough to read multiple times – I know sometimes chapters get dull!
Thank you so much for seeing me as a good author! In all honesty, I’m not disappointed that I’m not getting more feedback – as much as I would love to have eight million reviews for each chapter and hate seeing the little notification that says “No new reviews”, I’ve been given so many good reviews from people like you that it makes it well worth it!
I’m actually taking a leaf out of your book with this one and am using the powers of Microsoft word to help me out as far as time management goes!
I tried to make the small, insignificance of each task that she does sort of highlight the fact that her life is suddenly wild. She’s in Moscow sometimes and, after just returning, it shows her ability to get back into the rhythm of things. I also tried to make it different in the same way she is, but also added some of her thoughts to hopefully ease the boringness of it.
I know what you meant before about not having a whole lot of the Jaz/Matt/Kylie relationship in there lately, and I tried to make sure that they were together for a good chunk of this one. The same way with the shower, she’s getting back into the motions of being a friend again. I think they’re a lot less civilized than Ron, Harry, and Hermione, and they don’t have the whole “I-have-a-scar-from-Voldemort” bit getting in their way. The bit with the note was basically a conversation I had with my friends, which seems to be happening a lot lately in my stories; Jaz is oblivious because… well, I think her insecurities are pretty much blinding her!
I try to have a mix of humors in my chapter, having more on each one depending on what kind of chapter it is. When there is a serious chapter, it tends to be a lot more subtle than when it’s a rather plot-less one.
“Blind as Ray Charles” definitely has to be my favorite comparison ever. Just saying…
I’m with you – either the prank isn’t at all large and exceeding expectations or they just kind of skip over it and mentioned it later. I thought fireworks would be good, though it took ages until I thought it felt right! Glad the work was enjoyed!
It is absolutely, positively, one-hundred-percent-idly possible to crack an apple in half with your hands. My dad taught me, and while I am terrible at it, the people who I have confided in now gain tons of money making bets at bars and restaurants.
I’m glad you don’t think it’s cheesy – I was worried that the opposite would be true. Are you sure it’s not too much? And the wife/husband thing… I guess that seems to be quite common around people. I did it too, as well as several people I know.
The “dead” bit… I thought it was time for some sexual tension between the two. They haven’t had a whole lot of physical contact like that, so I figured a meeting from Lady Lust was welcome. Kylie would do what she did – it’s just so her, she couldn’t resist. Kylie is too… spontaneous to be brought down by stuff that has already happened. She just doesn’t roll like that.
I loved your review – it was so amazing and long, absolutely fantastic! Thank you so so so so so so very much for it! By the way, I hope you had a good train ride and not too many people are frightened by you! Thanks again, a million times over!

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Review #22, by iluv2eatcarbsLipstick Stain: Because I Loved Her

25th October 2010:
Hey!! Sorry it's taken me so long to get here and review!!! Real life has been kicking my butt! Anyway, onto reviewing. I really loved this, honestly! I haven't stumbled upon many deaths with next generation fics (apparently death doesn't exist if Voldemort is dead :P) But I really truly loved this. You depicted Albus's lost and grief really well and I was pleasantly surprised. You're definatly going to be a tough competitor :)


Author's Response: Lauren- no problem, I get real life, sometimes it just gets too busy!!!

Now that you mention it- I havent read any next gen deaths... hmm, never thought about it really! But i'm glad that you liked it! And this was my first ever challenge and I must say I really enjoyed it! Thank you for reviewing and I look forward to hearing the results!!! :D -Kirsty xxx

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Review #23, by iluv2eatcarbsFragile Things : Ch. 9 - The First of September

25th October 2010:
Finally back at Hogwarts! I can't wait to see where you take this and what you're going to do with her. And yes, I was wondering about her friends, now that you mention it! I mean, you would think they would've tried to contact her! Considering all that happened...ah well. And I'm glad that we got to see some changes in Sirius, small things like her scent. Keep it up :)


Author's Response: You would think that, but then again they weren't really her friends in the first place. And thank you, I plan to keep it up, haha :)

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Review #24, by iluv2eatcarbsFragile Things : Ch. 8 - Of Breakdowns and Birthdays

25th October 2010:
Gah! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to review! I'm an awful person :/ But Elaina and Sirius are so freaking adorable how he took her to dinner I was like swooning as I was reading. I can't wait to see you develop them :)


Author's Response: You are not an awful person! You do have a life, it's fine, I promise!

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Review #25, by iluv2eatcarbsThe Marauding Misadventures of a Murderous Beater: Work to Do

22nd October 2010:
Baha before I go into the review the lines that made me burst out laughing:
Sirius unable to reproduce in a 48 hour period and your description on the various types of pickles, and of course the last line. Pure comedic genius :)

Now onto reviewing!! So after the interaction with Kylie and Jaz I'm growing to miss the Kylie/Jaz/Matt relationship. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed having them around as friends until their friendship was back in the chapters and I've decided I want more of this! And as a reader I think I should get what I ask for. Only kidding :P But siriusly, its just a suggestion. I get with the tournament going on it gets hard but you've created such a strong bond between the three that I want to see more of it :) Especially now with Matt's awkwardness with liking Jaz and how Kylie is torn between her loyalties. I want to see more of Jaz and Lupin together though so I can decide to hate them together or love them together, because right now I'm not sure how either of the men in love are like with Jaz on a romantic level so a little insight would be...nice? Do I sound demanding? Sorry about that.

Kylie and Sirius are disgustingly cute together. They are like a romantic comedy, only with wittier lines and a leading woman who doesn't go all 'swoony' when the guy smiles. So you're like a good romantic comedy :) Like 500 days of summer...or something to that liken.

Oh and a short side note, I love how you've made the quidditch playing very realistic. What I mean by this is how you have them do things sports players typically do, like ice bathes. I've never read that detail in quidditch orientated stories before and I'm realizing that this is a much needed, and looked over, factor to put in a story :)

Anyway! Another great chapter. Update soon!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Yeah, I put those bits in for the definate comic relief :) I felt that after the seriousness of the last chapter it really needed it.
There is a little more of the friendship in the chapter I just posted to be validated, and I think a little more in the one after, so the reader will get what she wants! Things are very difficult because of the whole love triangle, especially when Kylie knows about it; peer pressure will be popping up quite a bit in the near future. I know it feels like they've totally drifted appart, but they haven't completely - a lot of the chapters have taken place in Moscow, and even more during practice... they're still together, don't worry!
On to the Remus Jaz delema. The chapter I'm working on has a lot mentioning of them, and maybe a sighting or two - I'm not sure yet. The Matt romance, well. that is a surprise that I really can't mention.
A good romantic comedy - I like that. I just hope that disgustingly cute is a complement and not a bad thing!
I try to keep everything as realistic as possible, which I hope that you have all ready realized, so ice baths seem like a good detail to add!
Thanks again for the wonderfully long review! Completely epic!

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