This was a good beginning! I like that you started out with Draco, and even better that the two aren't madly in love with each other already. ;) Anyway, this has a good and believable storyline so far, and I can't wait to see where you go with it. Great job so far, I look forward to reading the rest.
-sarah-Author's Response: Welcome! Thanks for leaving a review, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story thus far. ^.^ Report Review
This was a nice little fic. There were a few typos and grammatical errors here and there, but not an overwhelming amount. The plotline was very believable, as was Hermione's anguish and inablity to kill another human being. Good job with this, you made it very easy to believe in.
-sarah-Author's Response: thanks so much for the review! Well, I suppose you could call it little. . . and nice. . . haha, yeah, I need a beta as well. *shrug* I really have stopped caring about grammar, which I really shouldn't, as I'm a beta, and I can't even keep up with my OWN fics! eek!
I'm glad you believe in it! The fact that someone can is amazing, and it just makes me happy that what I'm seeing in my head, is what you're seeing in yours. Thank you so much. Just. . . thanks.
Have a wonderful day. ;) Report Review
Aw, this was a sweet little fic. Ammie has a believable side of the story, though I think Sirius was a little bit OOC. Personally, I don't see him crying. But that's just my opinion. Anyway, I did adore this fic, it was sad and sweet at the same time, and it was truly believable. Good job!
-sarah-Author's Response: I'm very glad you could see this as happeneing. I was unsure about having him cry but, I don't know, to me it shows how hard it really was on him. Thanks for the review Report Review
Hey, I just want to say that this is a great idea, it just needs to be shaped a ittle bit. First off, the spacing is a little clumped and cluttered. It helps to put a line between paragraphs and start a new paragraph when somebody talks. Also, it gets kind of annoying to see ***blahblah*** If you're switching POVs than it should be rather obvious that it's now Ron's POV and not Lillith's POV. Other than that this sounds like a good idea, and good luck with the rest of it!Author's Response: Oh yeah, I fixed the spacing and I have decided to not switch POVs as much. thanks for the review! Report Review
Wow . . . that was an amazing story. I loved it, it was very well written. The scene of the switching of the Secret Keeper seemed very authentic, sort of like it could be in the book. And at the end, you could really feel sympathetic for Lily. Overall, you did a fantastic job, I liked this little story quite a bit. Author's Response: Thank you! ^_^ I'm so glad you liked it. And it's such a great compliment that you thought the Secret Keeper scene seemed real enough to have been in the books. I'm also happy to hear that you could feel for Lily =) Thank you so much for the wonderful review ♥ Report Review
Hey! Well, just to start, I want to say that I love your writing style. And that was a great beginning to what is probably going to be a terrific story. And once I have time, I swear I'll read the rest of it. It sounds really promising. I loved your description of the ring at the beginning of this. This chapter had a dark aura about it, and it was never boring. Fantastic job!Author's Response: that's fine, take your time. thanks for the review! Report Review
This was a good beginning to this story. I like it, and it sounds interesting to see what Lily, Marga, Clarisse, Sirius, James, and Remus will do in Palm Beach. I like how you have James and Marga knowing each other and this sounds like a really promising story!Author's Response: Yey! Because of that "knowing each other" thing, something will come up. Hey, you didnt hear that from me. Lol. Thanks for your review!! :) Report Review
Aw, this was really sweet. I liked it a lot. There were a couple of grammatical and spelling errors, such as 'defiantly' instead of 'definitely' but other than that I think this was a nice little story and it was written quite well. Good job with it! Report Review
Wow, I loved this story! It was really well written. And I liked how you based it on Lupin instead of Harry. Considering the scar and everything. But I liked how you had Remus watching Harry taking the test at the end and all that. I also liked how you portrayed Lupin's father, and what had happened in the hospital. Great job!
-sarah-Author's Response: Thanks for the great comments! Report Review
I liked this chapter! It was good, I loved how you had Harry and Daphne communicate with the parchment. And it was sweet too. I liked the forest bit, and how Daphne sort of connected with it. Although, I have to admit, I did laugh when she said "Please honor me with a length of your wood." But it was a nice part, and I can't wait to see what happens next. Hope you update soon!
-sarah- Report Review
Hey, just dropping in to say that I loved the curse. It's pure genius if you ask me. Like, that's why Salem Witches are special. I knew there had to be something, otherwise they wouldn't be Salem Witches, just plain witches. But that's a great way to do it. Anyway, I like how you put that in. And I like the four people, and how only one gets the secrets. For some reason, I have a feeling Lydia and Daphne are going to be in that top four. :) Anyway, great chapter.
-sarah- Report Review
Oooooh, I like the animosity between Daphne and Lydia. Ha. I loved the 'Yea, well, he was an idiot to begin with' line. That made me laugh. I like how you had Daphne argue with Lydia about Harry killing Voldemort too. Stupid Lydia girl . . . *grumbles* Right. Anyway, I liked this chapter, and except for a few spelling errors, it was fantastic. Great job!
-sarah- Report Review
Hey, I think that this was a fantastic first chapter. Overall, everything was great, but there were a few things that I liked more than others.
For one, I love the character of Daphne. Besides the fact that in your story she's extremely well-developed, she's a minor character. It's not Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, or Malfoy moving to the States. So yes, I love that you used Daphne, and I love that you developed her so well, especially since she's so minor.
Also, I like how you weaved the flashbacks into the story instead of just jamming them all at the beginning. They fit really well where you put them, and i tmakes the story flow better. Especially since you didn't put ***FLASHBACK!!++##. :) Also, I like that even though Daphne snapped at Karr, she wasn't as depressed/angry as OotP Harry.
And, for my favorite, I loved how Harry was the boyfriend. I expected it to be some non-existant character, but the fact that it was Harry, and that scene with Dumbledore, was perfect.
So, in conclusion, I loved how you started with this story, and I can't wait to read the rest of it. - Sarah Report Review
Me loves it Manda!!!! It's brill, and I like it a ton! It's cool to see how the story is different from the RPG. And what your original ideas were and all that jazz. I love the whole mask thinger instead of the sorting hat too. And I love the whole Erica and Vera thingy too. Overall, great job and I can't wait for the next chapter!!!!!
-sarah//alicia winters && william swannAuthor's Response: aww thanks dear, I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Report Review
wow......good start! you had a few grammatical errors, but getting a beta can easily fix that. Some wording was akward, but other than that it was good. The OC's are a bit confusing, but if AU is your thing, this is a GREAT story. AU isn't my favorite genre, which might be why i don't completely get/understand it. Author's Response: Thanks, I have just gotten a beta who's reading the story as we speak, so it will get grammaticaly correct soon. Well yeah, I pretty much went for an all AU, cuz I think there are many, many Harry Potter and friends fics out there. But her, thanks a lot for reviewing, it means a lot! Report Review
Great job! This made me laugh, and considering it's like six in the morning, that's really good! I loved everything from the rubber ducks to 'fannyfiction' and all the other mispronunciations. You did a great job with this! Poor arthur.Author's Response: Lol, thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
Aw, this was sooooooooooooooooo sweet. I loved it to pieces. So this is gonna be a chaptered prequel? Got it. lol, guess that wasn't much of a question. Anyway, I loved how you wrote Harry and Lily, it was cute. Okay, I know it bugs the heck out of me when people ask me this, so sorry, but are you gonna say who the mum is? Not that it'll make a difference, but I have a guess, and I wanna see if it's right. lol, sorry to bug you. Great job with this!Author's Response: Lol, I'm going to have to right an A/N about Lily's mom, but her identity will be revealed during the fic, all I can tell you now is that she's an Oc. I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter, thanks for taking the time out to review! Report Review
There weren't any major typos, at least that I noticed as I was reading, so kudos to you! I absolutely, positively loved how you wrote out Dracos' internal struggle, it made it seem so realistic and well thought out. Great chapter, and fantastic job with the story. Author's Response: No typos, thank god. I worked major hard on this chapter so it better turn out good!! *looks around threateningly* : ]. And that internal struggle's been mentioned quite a few times, so I'm awfully proud of that. I hope you review again, and thanks alot, your critique helped! Report Review
Aw, poor Draco. And the girlfriend. Overall, again, great job, you have an amazing writing style, and other than the occaisional OOC-ness, it's a fantastic story. Great chapter and you definitely have me hooked. Good job!!!!Author's Response: Yay, I got SOMEONE hooked on MY story. So happy right about now ; ) And thank you for your compliment, they left me happy. Report Review
Good job! Overall, it was very nice, though there were more typos in this one than in the first chappie. Draco definitely seems OOC (out of character) and other than that you did pretty good. You have a great writing style and this was a great chapter. Author's Response: Yes, he is a bit OoC in this chappie, and I seriously don't know how to fix it. And the beta is still working on it, and I forever thankful to her (I think she's a she : ]) beacause I apparently need the revision . Report Review
Hey, good job overall! I'm slightly confused, but I'm sure you'll clear it all up quickly. You did a pretty good job with spelling and grammar, and you had everything a prologue needs, it was nice and vague. Good job, I'm sure my confusion will clear up quickly. Author's Response: Oh, but I'm sorry to inform you that your confusion cannot be cleared all that quickly. I plan on leaving my readers befuddled for a while, just to get them caught up in the story. : P Thanks for the compliments though!! Report Review
Good start! It seems like a promising fic and there were only a few grammatical/spelling errors, including a comma being outside a quotation. Other than that good job, sorry my review's so short, but my mom just got home and I'm technically not supposed to be on the computer. Good job!
-sarah Report Review
short, sweet, and to the point. Just a tad short, it would've made a more enjoyable read if it was a bit longer. Other than that it was a sweet little fic, and Fred and George were awesome as usual. Bake a cake? Go fishing? lol, good job!
-sarahAuthor's Response: Thanks, Sarah! Glad that you enjoyed it! I'll try to go through and add more to it when I get the chance. Report Review
good job! this was a sad fic, which i love, mostly because i love trying not to cry. it was sad, and it extracted emotions that have been inside me since my grandpa died, so yeah, good job! It takes a lot to make me cry, and I nearly did, so good job!
Now, this would look better if you put the song in italics, or bold. Just to distinguish it better. Mine looks a lot better now that I have. Other than that, good job! Just the occasional spelling/grammatical error. Overall, you did a great job and this was a great fic.
-sarahAuthor's Response: Aw, I didn't mean for this one to be that sad, but if I achieved some sort of emotion unsettling, then I feel rather accomplished, not to sound offensive.
Yeah, I think I'm going to go through and do it in bold right now. It's starting to bug me, actually. Thanks for reviewing, Sarah!! :) Report Review
aw, this was sad. my best friend gave me a cd with just that song on it when she moved to Cali. Thus, this song has very meaningful memories. Oh, god, I'm gonna cry. Sorry, but honestly, great job!!!!!
There were a couple grammatical mistakes, but nothing too serious. I don't know if it was just me, but it seemed sort of OOC for all the marauders to cry during the song. The might get choked up, but I don't think they'd cry. Other than that, the only other thing was they definitely wouldn't exclude Peter from something like that. Otherwise, great story, and my eyes are misting up. (half 'cause of my friend Lana, half cause of the story, so great job!!!!)
-sarahAuthor's Response: That's how it is with me. It reminds me of my best friend who moved to Florida, and that's sort of another thing that helped me write this.
Mm, I'm sure that it's a bit OOC, but I couldn't well take that out, or it would take a bit of the feeling from it. And what with Peter - that was sort of a symbolism thing. I know I usually leave Peter out, but that wasn't part of this. I wanted to display the seperation, and I may not have done that for all the readers, but I did that for myself. Thanks for reading!! :) Report Review
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